#but i feel like guillermo learned how to shop at the emotional repression store really young

[ineffably-human]

Guillermo must read like a Southern Gothic post to his entire family.

Imagine your only kid has been married to his work in food service/the railroad/food service at the railroad? for fifteen years and it's the reason he never sees you. One time he came home and said he could get you a mini-fridge from his friend who was once dead but it's fine now. He left to go get it and didn't come back. Some people are filming the whole time.

Another time he disappeared to London for a year, and when he came back he finally let you see his house. It's a trash-covered mansion with a tree through the ceiling. He appears to live there by himself. He's exchanged his sweaters for Versace and a watch that's more expensive than God. He tells you he's gay, which you knew, even though you've never talked about it and he's been sending you photos of some woman you haven't met (you think?) for years. Some people are again filming, this time for his grandma's birthday, except there's no cake or presents and you never see a copy of the videotape.

He bought you a house last year. But the first time he's come for your birthday in three or four years he doesn't bring a gift, and spends the time frantically whispering to someone on the phone. The people are still filming him. It's been like five years of them filming him. He's in the sweaters again.

He tells you he can't say why or what's going to change for him, but he can never see you again. You ask if what he's doing is making him happy but don't give him time to answer. It's the first direct question you've really asked him all evening. Then you ask him where his crucifix is. He needs one, it'll help. It's really important that he have one, and he keeps losing them. So scatterbrained. This is what will make it better.

(You don't see his face as you force the chain around his neck. You don't see him disappearing before your eyes. Was it always this way, with you two, or did it happen over time?)

You casually tell the cousin who's been lecturing him all night that he comes by weekly now to say goodbye forever. Your sweet boy, so dramatic, even as a child. So mysterious. You just don't know what he's thinking. But he'll be back.