#but i fear that my thematic musings are too earnest for something that is generally looked down upon as stupid or unfounded
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i should rejoin ACDS but i always want people to be niceys to me and i feel as if my position and demeanor are things that don't invite a lot of niceysness
#not like a moral failing on their part or anything obviously#but i fear that my thematic musings are too earnest for something that is generally looked down upon as stupid or unfounded#so rather than opening up more opportunity for dialogue it just makes me seem like a pompous ass worthy of mockery#i'm sorry man that's just how i talk ☹️#especially when i'm like. nervous. or put on the spot (like in an argument or something)#i start getting exceedingly formal and verbose and like i can't help it#i just go pretentious mode#and like i don't MEAN to it just happens#it's just the quickest way my neurons connect
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