#but i dont want to sleep because thwt mrans work in the morning and lately work has been a special shade of shit
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#ive been having a tough time lately#tonight is particularly bad cause the minute i stop feeding distractions to my brain i start feeling anxious and sad#which means I'm fucking up my sleep schedule and thats not gonna help#but i dont want to sleep because thwt mrans work in the morning and lately work has been a special shade of shit#no crunch or harassment but a special third thing#called im so bored out of my mind I want to scream and every minute lasts an jour#plus the guilt i feel because im not being productive in the way i want to be#its like reverse gaslighting where my coworkers tell me im doing good and being helpful#and my brain is like#okay but these tasks are stupid bullshit i had to drag myself to do in three times what i could have taken if i gave a fucj#and you being happy about my performance makes me lose any respect i have for you or this place hahahahahahahaha#tbd
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