#but i dont wanna just go to the gp again just for them to tell me i just have to wait

[abilouwrites]

DONT WAIT FOR THE TIDE

JUST TO DIP BOTH YOUR FEET IN

“You really wanna go on a road-trip?” I ask Buck as he throws a duffel into his Jeep and then more gently tucks my duffel next to his, I look out at the cold greys and harsh blues in the sky. The clouds threaten to launch a downpour any moment, “it’s the middle of December Buck”

“Yeah, yeah it’ll be good for us to get out of town for a while. See the coast. San Fran and Santa Cruz” He rambles, I’ve seen him rushing but he’s never been so eager to kick it before.

“Buck I lived in San Jose, I know all those places. I’ve been there before. What’s this really about?” I inquire as he opens my door and helps me in then proceeds to jump into the drivers side and we speed off.

“I just, everything at work has been so crazy lately and I just need to blow town for a little while. And I thought, why don’t I do that with my favorite lady who knows all the best spots” he reasons brushing through his loose curls as we slow at a traffic light.

“Ok..” I shrug a little; I’ve been with this man long enough to know when to push and when to not, “how’s Eddie doing?” I ask, “losing his wife must’ve been hard” I pick my knee up and place my feet on the dash before Buck swats them down, “I’m in my socks!”

“That is how you break your pelvis and your legs so feet where they go babe” He corrects gently, moves a hand from the wheel to gently caress my thigh. Covered in my Stanford crewneck and leggings with my fuzzy Christmas socks on. I’m a little more comfortable than if I was in jeans and a hoodie.

“Alright alright, but Chris is good?” I ask turning my head as he looks at the GPS.

“Yeah, he misses his mom and Eddie’s shut down a little bit but I think with some therapy he might start coming back.. Athena and Bobby have been helping out with dinners n stuff” he explains, checking over as he merges into the freeway.

“That’s good, god I love those two. Real good people” I nod a little shifting in my seat as Buck continues driving.

“I was thinking, Santa Cruz, we go see your parents, San Fran, then drive back. Skip LA and just head straight to San Diego?” He asks looking over. Just a peeking glance at my expression before he turns his attention back to the road.

“Buck, y’know I love you but it’s gonna be freezing in San fran and Santa Cruz and driving past home Buck what’s up? I’m gettin worried” I peek over at him, seeing a large sigh from his chest.

“I’m scared. To go back. That I’ll get hurt again. Or someone else will get hurt again. I’m starting to think I’m just full of bad luck” He breathes a little looking in the rearview mirror before speeding up slightly.

“Oh” I don’t really have anything to say, no words to comfort him, no piece of advice to say ‘I’d been there, I know how you feel’ because I don’t know how he feels. I don’t know what it’s like to die on the job, or to see my friends face death, “I can’t tell you that I’ve been there and give you advice” I admit, “baby, the best I can do for you is to tell you that I’m here for you. And we have about six hours for you to tell me all about your feelings”

I see a faint smile and he shakes his head, “nah, I don’t need you to be my therapist, but I appreciate it.. more than you know” He tugs at his earlobe and sits back a little.

We sit in silence, I’ve got my AirPods in and watching the view. Bucks hand shifts from the steering wheel to my thigh where he just holds it.

We arrive in Santa Cruz at sunset, the beach is cold and the sand pricks at my toes as I slip my socks off, “come on bucky” I smile a little, it’s been years since I’ve been to this beach. I grasp his hand, he falters slightly before following after me. A quick surge foreword as he drops my hand then lifts me over his shoulder. I gasp slightly and grip onto his shirt, “Evan!”

“You run too slow, y’know I’m trained to run carrying a hell of a lot more than what you weigh” He sasses slightly, lowering me as the waves lick at my feet. It’s a re-assuring smile he gives me as he leans in and kisses me softly.

I smile into the kiss and wrap my arms around his neck. Locking my fingers into the soft blondeish brunette curls, “y’know. I didn’t realize how much I needed to get out of the city until I actually got out” I murmur as he turns and we stand side by side. The waves crashing into my ankles, starting to wet the edges of my leggings. The water starts to soak into Bucks jeans. He holds my hand, stuffing it into his hoodie pocket. I lean against his bicep, his finger rubs against my thumb.

“Good trip then?”

“Definitely”

[katiascraft]

"Is this the start of something new?" |LN4

Part 2: Made in Argetina: The Series. (Lando's Version)

Parings: Lando Norris x Argentine!Reader.

Summary: after the austin gp, lando and you have your "first date".

Word count: +2k.

Warnings: none. Just fluff. Not a native english speaker so there could be (so many) errors. (I do what i can). Not proofread.

Author's note: finally here it is! Hope you like it i accept more suggestions and contructive critics! Dont forget to like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

Watching the podium was a dream of yours and now you have made it come true. You heard the anthems for the first time in person. All of the tifosis screaming it out. Charles smiled so proud along with Carlos and Max. You were really intrigued by Max’s character and you hope someday you could meet him. That was another dream of yours. Like Franco said: a tiny human filled with so many crazy dreams. Yeah, he joked about it all the time because you have this dreamy personality but he loves you for that. His so logical and terrenal, he loves that you add the daydreaming he most of the time lacks. That’s why your besties, you understand anc complement each other.

When the podium party ended and people started to spread out into different directions, you decided to call Franco to see where he was at. But he didn’t respond. You felt now again embarrassed like when you bumped into Lando fucking the most handsome cute and hot persona you’ve ever seen Norris and born his phone. You felt so stupid. You forgot your friend is now a driver here and probably doesn’t have time to answer your checking calls. So you decided to get back to the paddock and headed to Williams garage. You didn’t wanna be lost so you concentrated on finding your franquito. Fortunately some guys from the team told you he was at a meeting so you decided to look for Lily.

You found her at a table with another girl and didn’t want to interrupt but you also didn’t want to be alone.

“Hey… hi. Sorry to interrupt girls. I was lost for a moment I’m happy to find you Lily” you said shyly and clearly sorry for making the two beautiful women stop talking.

“Y/n! Oh no, there’s no problem honey. I was telling Alexa about you. So perfect timing!” She said sweet and made you smile widely. She introduced you to Alex, Charles Leclerc’s girlfriend. She was so stunning in person. And also really sweet. Lily made you part of their conversation and your stayed with them until Franco was free to get back to the hotel.

Lando was on a meeting with the team he really didn’t want to be in. He wasn’t in the mood to listen to all of that right now. Oscar knew about it and tried to pay attention so at least one of them had the important information and the big men knew. Lando couldn’t stop thinking about you smile and your rosé cheeks. And what you said to him. He also was anxious about the fact you’d never replied. Nor add him to contacts. He wanted to see your profile picture. He wanted to talk to you right now but he had to be here doing driver things. He never tends to be distracted. But he couldn’t help it. You were too gorgeous to not overthink about the whole interaction you had.

When the meeting ended Lando and Oscar went to the mc claren building to get change and eat something before heading to the hotel and rest. They didn’t want to do much. It was a frustrating race and weren't in the mood to go celebrate like some of the boys will do. Maybe he’ll watch Cars and fall asleep before it finishes. It was his comfort plan to be honest.

You and the girls order something to eat at the Williams building. You couldn’t stop thinking about the fact you broke Lando’s phone and that you could have stayed with him. You didn’t know why you felt like that. Like you did something wrong and added to the phone breaking. You started playing around with your phone once Lily and Alex started talking about things you really didn’t understand. But the only thing you learnt is that Alex lives in Monaco and there people speak French and you didn’t know about that. That’s when you see his messages. You blushed by reading them. You got so nervous. Lando was flirting with you that was obvious but you couldn’t believe he was flirting with you like why? Out of all the girls that come to see races, why you? You bit your lip replying.

‘Oh hola pretty boy. Sorry I didn’t see it till now. And sorry again for breaking your phone. Funny both phones still work somehow jaja’

You didn’t know how to approach and English man. Of course you flirted with guys before but you know, with the same culture and slang and social context. This is so different. You didn’t want to come off as rude or whatever.

‘How brave you are to give your heart to unknown person 👀’

You didn’t know if that was actually considered a tease but you were trying at least.

You jumped scared when Franco out of nowhere hugged you from behind almost screaming in your head.

“Al fin te encuentro amiguita. En qué andas? Cambiándome por gente linda y famosa?” (He said hi and what you were doing “charging me for more pretty and richer people?”) that made you laugh and roll your eyes.

“Ojalá. Lamentablemente me tocó ser tu amiga y no puedo salir” you joked about how unfortunately you were his friend and you couldn’t run away. That made him room his eyes. He joined the conversation and met Alex as well. You talked for a few more minutes till Alex Albon came back and so we started going down the stairs all together. Alex headed to the Ferrari building and another girl said bye to Lily and Alex. She said it was Carlos’ girlfriend Rebecca. All of them were so beautiful. You were in love.

You and Franco were chatting about what the meeting was all about when you heard someone scream from afar.

“Wait guys! Franco! Alex! Y/n!” When you all turned you found lando coming to you. Franco looked at you with one brow raised, strange about how Lando knew his best friend’s name. “Sorry guys, I just wanted to say goodbye. We’re not gonna see each other until Mexico” he said weirdly and nervously . That wasn’t the usual Franco thought. He looked at Alex who looked at him the same. Lily looked at you with question marks on her eyes. You smiled at Lando. Your heart is racing. He gave everyone a hug. And you were last. You didn’t know what to do in this situation. You didn’t understand what he was doing. When he hugged you a paper fell on the floor. So when you two splitted he picked up the little paper.

“Here you go” he said and handed it to you so you took it suspicious. “Alright bye guys! Take care!” He waved, running again into the orphanage building. You saved the paper on your jeans and played it cool.

“Okay that was weird and nice at the same time” Franco said, making all of you giggle.

(…)

After leaving Franco at his room and spending some time with him just chatting and drinking mate, you decided to come to your room to rest as well. All of the feelings you felt have left you exhausted. You were so happy for franco. So proud. You could feel your heart explode.

You had a shower. You needed to take out all of the weight of the day from your body. Relax for a while. By yourself listening to a piano playlist you found on Spotify. Dark academia theme. You loved it. After a few minutes you were packing and preparing all of your stuff because tomorrow you headed to Mexico. You were gonna be with franco until the Brazil race. And then going back home to Argentina.

When you grabbed your jeans, the ones you wore today, you remembered the paper piece lando handed to you. You know it wasn’t yours but your intuition just followed along with his play. You unfolded it and smiled.

‘Wanna chill out and watch cars for a while?’

That’s what the paper said and under the question was his hotel and room number. He didn’t answer your messages. And you thought this was like the most romantic thing. Like not using phones and sneaking into hotels. And keeping it a secret. Like a wattpad story you used to read when you were a kid about Niall Horan. Or maybe are you just crazy? Whatever.

You hesitated whether to go or not by the time it was. But you had nothing to lose. He offered and maybe this one gonna be it. Maybe you wouldn’t meet Lando Norris like this or any other way ever again so.

You decided to take some candies you had in your bag and that was it. You felt really bad about not having anything else to take. Google maps indicated his hotel was the one next to the one you were so that was a coincidence that wasn’t in your bung card. You didn’t think much about it and just went straight to his room.

When you got to it you knocked on the door carefully. If he was asleep you didn’t want to wake him up.

Fortunately a few seconds later we opened the door with a sleepy smile and very surprised.

“I thought you wouldn’t come” he said letting you in. You giggled a little.

“Surprise! I’m not losing my chances here honey” you said teasing him and saw how he blushed closing the door.

“Is that a thing in Argentina like beating hot and a teaser?” He asked me to open his mini bar, take out two water bottles and hand one to you with a smile.

“Well I think it is, you know. We are all pretty charming” you said, taking the water and string in his bed. You saw the tv screen displaying the cars movie already in the middle of the story. You acted offended.

“So you invited me to watch cars but decided to watch it all alone?” You said arching a brow funny. He looked exposed and stood in front of the tv.

“Actually that was a trap because no one says no to cars cause it’s a great movie but I invited you to look at me” he said posing awkwardly making you giggle.

“Alright I’ll enjoy the view then” you said grinning.

You just enjoyed time together by chatting about Argentina and London and a few words. And trivial stuff but you laughed so much. He is so funny and laughed at all of your jokes. Like you matched each other’s energy. Or crazy.

It was time for you to go back to your hotel because it was already 2 am and packing wasn’t done. Neither you nor Lando had packed everything for tomorrow's flight.

“Would I see you around then? It was really nice talking to you” he said on the door looking down at you with sleepy puppies eyes. You were so cute and fun. He felt the butterflies. You made him so nervous. Giggling and blushing like a teenager. You smiled at him. You were the most precious thing he has ever seen.

You nodded “of course. I’ll be with Franco until the Brazil race. That’s when I go back to Argentina sadly. But maybe I’ll travel again for Abu Dhabi” you said softly, looking at him. God he was so beautiful. He nodded in response.

Silence took place between you two for a few seconds. You decided to end it by giving him a kiss on his cheek. “See you around landito, te me cuidas chico lindo” you said just like how you taught him earlier a little funny and waved at him heading to the elevator. He waved at you. His face red.

Was this the start of something new?

(…)

‘You looked beautiful in that orange hoodie you wore today’ he texted.

‘You only say that it’s because it’s papaya. Do you want me to be a papaya? You’ll have to work your ass off. I’m team Williams until franco gets a seat in another team’ you texted.

‘I’m on it darling. Get ready’ he texted.

‘Oh I’ve been ready my whole life for this moment’ you texted.

‘😍😍😍😍’ he texted.

‘👀👀👀👀’ you texted.

——————————————————————————————

Hope you liked it 💌 my inbox is open if you have any idea! Send your requests!

[surshica]

PRINCESS TREATMENT

: CL16

genre: stupid fluff, social media (smau)

warnings: translated french

A/N: let’s ignore everything that happened in this gp! this is my first EVER f1 fic so ernmmm bare with me! i’ve had this like whole thing in my head for a while but i was just too lazy LMAO ANYWAYS i’m also deprived of some fics..ENJOY ?!!

synopsis: soft launching a relationship with charles — charles leclerc x streamer fem!reader (fc: tina kitten)

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 793,610 others

yourusername when he gets the princess treatment instead of me..

user1 my streamer is in a relationship..🫠

user2 this means we can’t be parasocial no more…I HOPE THIS “MAN” CAN FIGHT.

alex_albon okay tell him to stop being clingy so you can play goat simulator with us

yourusername he said, “they suck at the game so they can wait, i like the princess treatment” soo…

user4 as much as i want to theorize and say it’s an F1 driver it’s unlikely…she’s just a twitch streamer.

user8 “just a twitch streamer” my ass..as if she isn’t the biggest streamer and influencer

user4 i mean itd be a downgrade for a professional to date a non professional athlete or like model or idol🤷‍♀️

charles_leclerc okay little buddy it’s past your bedtime

charles_leclerc aww so cute (HOP ONTO GOAT SIMULATOR LANDO IS BEING ANNOYINGGG)

landonorris okay buddy..don’t make me use THE blackmail.

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, tomholland and 2,072,473 others

charles_leclerc my jpg era? nahh

user3 okay so are we going to talk about who took these photos cause i know damn well you didn’t take them..

yourusername whoever styled you should get a raise

charles_leclerc i’ll tell her that, it’ll inflate her ego some more

yourusername she doesn’t deserve you 😐

user5 HOLD ON. HER?? IS HE IN A RELATIONSHIP AS WELL.

user6 this is kinda suspicious..what if.

user2 WHAT IF????

user6 what if yn and charles are 🤞

carlossainz55 charlie finally got a sense of style !!

pierregasly groundbreaking ‼️

user9 okay but why does he actually look good in this outfit..

user10 f1 twt going crazy over this fit

liked by yourusername

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, georgerussell63 and 628,927 others

yourusername stream today!! we’ll be playing among us vr with *drumroll* landonorris and georgerussell63, be sure to tune into it today

user1 WITH THOSE TWO??? it sounds chaotic..

user10 HMMM….

charles_leclerc where is my invite ☹️

yourusername you said no because chat would laugh at you..

charles_leclerc this makes it seem like those two are your favorites…

yourusername they are.

charles_leclerc hand back the paddock passes<3

yourusername IM JOKING HAHA YOURE MY FAVORITE!!

liked by charles_leclerc

user5 bye they’re literally flirting.

liked by charles_leclerc and yourusername

user6 THE HEART AFTER PADDOCK..am i seeing this correctly

user2 what if you actually predicted it…

alex_albon i can already hear lando screaming..

landonorris slanderous.

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, landonorris, lewishamiliton, alex_albon and 1,729,168 others

charles_leclerc désolé mon amour le secret est sorti..😅❤️

user6 YEAH I KNEW IT. everyone who made bets pay up! i do apple pay venmo zelle paypal

user1 bye you’re so unserious 😭

user3 aye they tryna make bank i don’t blame them

user2 it’s like they’re a mastermind..IS CHARLES GOING TO WIN THE NEXT GP?!?

user6 yes. he is going to podium and be at least 2 or 3

yourusername you couldn’t wait just a little longer..not till your next gp? ;;

charles_leclerc my fingers slipped!!

yourusername fat fingers!

charles_leclerc that’s not very nice chéri:(

yourusername yeah no more princess treatment for you.

charles_leclerc HEY NOW…THATS NOT FUNNY.

landonorris are mom and dad fighting..☹️

charles_leclerc i hope you never get imposter when you play amongus again

landonorris HEY MAN TOO FAR.

user11 “mon amour” BYE. I DONT EVEN WANNA KNOW HOW LONG THEYVE BEEN TOGETHER.

user10 the pictures..THE PICTURES. sleeping on a highway tonight 🤞

user4 interesting choice in a s/o…

user7 the floating lantern picture…I JUST WANNA KNOW WHO WAS THE ONE THIRD WHEELING THAT THING.

yourbestie that person would be me 😍

yourbestie took y’all forever, im surpised charlie brown over here didn’t spill the beans earlier

charles_leclerc who are you calling charlie brown? 😒

yourbestie you.

@ surshica | rb & follow.

[bonny-kookoo]

But Ninny, just imagine lock me up mc going into preheat and defective Yoongi gets all protective over her 🥺 anon was onto something with that heat ask honestly 😮‍💨 jk jk….unless 👀

You're antsy again, right when he'd thought he'd gotten you comfortable enough so you wouldn't try and escape anymore.

But your little outdoor adventures aren't of the usual kind either- you definitely stay in close proximity to his home, never even reach the streets, always rather roaming the rooftops, and he can see on his little GPS tracker on his laptop that you're somewhat pacing around.

Something's off, and he needs to know what.

When he reaches the rooftops, it's a little windy. Not too chilly, but a nice fresh wind blows, sun setting- and there you are, rolling on your back in the bright golden sun. "You're getting your clothes dirty." He comments, and your tail snaps up at his words, as you roll again to sit on your knees now, some dead leaves caught in your hair- but one flick of your ear and its gone with the wind, while you look at him like you're conflicted.

"I wanna sleep here tonight." You tell him, and his brows lower in confusion.

He's keeping his distance- both because he's not sure if you'll try and jump because down the line it wouldn't surprise him considering your rather... spontaneous nature, and also because your body language screams at him to stay away.

"Its gonna be cold." He tries to reason. "Why'd you wanna sleep outside?" He wants to know, and you become nervous at that, moving your legs around a little to adjust the position in which you're sitting-

And that's when the wind turns a but, making him catch your scent.

Oh.

"Yeah well- you know.." you stammer, nervous. "Even if- you know, you pick up stuff for me, it'll take almost an entire day to, you know, make me not stink anymore.." you mumble more or less, not looking at him.

"You don't stink, idiot." He clicks his tongue, before sighing. This isn't something he'd planned ahead for. "I can still go downtown and pick some shit up if you tell me what you typically take, and I promise my hands stay to myself at night." He tells you.

"Hm yeah cause it's easy for you.." You say almost disappointed.

"What do you mean?" He wants to know, and you turn around at that, your back facing him as you hug your legs.

"Nothin'." You huff stubbornly. "Go get me some Feline Help, or ChangeWay, I don't care which you choose." You mumble almost incoherently into your knees, drawing something in the dirt on the ground with a stick.

"Both of those are-" he argues instantly, well aware that both brands will leave you with heavy side effects, but now you snap your head around, hissing at him.

"Just go! Leave me!" You yell at him, and he forgives your behavior for once because it's not really in your control right now. Preheat can be extremely stressful to hybrids especially when you're used to being on medication for it usually.

Though he has a feeling there's got to be a reason you're especially on edge with him. You should be the exact opposite- so why do you seem to absolutely despise his presence right now?

"Can I leave you here without having to run after you to God knows where after I come back?" He asks, and you glare at him actually angry this time.

"I'm not stupid, Detective Min." You make sure to pronounce his job title and name especially as you talk. "I'm a walking bullseye target for anyone other than you." You huff, and he squints his eyes at that.

"I see." He suddenly says, relaxing. "I get it now."

"Oh my GOD just go and get my drugs, leave!" You yell now, throwing a small rock at him- though you only prove his point, because you clearly intentionally miss him by a lot, no intention to hurt him despite your bitter tone.

"Dont worry, I'll get them." He says, not walking closer, but taking off his jacket before he throws it at you. "But you're wrong, just so you know." He has the audacity to smirk, especially when you grow wide eyed and surprised, entire world view shifted as he gives you an answer to a question you didn't even ask, while he walks back down the metal stairs to his apartment, leaving you alone with your thoughts and his scent around you.

He's absolutely not interested in you-

Or so you thought, it seems.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

-> Series Masterlist

[mimicrypkmn]

(@wingsofachampion) Hiya! Why would your social media image be bad? -Tropius

i saw that there's some team rocket ppl on here ig and like idk. they aren't in my home region or here and it's none of my business if they follow me if they ever do like im not a crime enabler like boooo stop poaching but also im not a cop either like i got my own shit 2 deal with when it comes 2 surviving tyme's math finals. but i'm p sure the school staff would be like WHAT!!!! ARE YOU DOING YOU CAN'T DO THAT YOU'RE GOING TO TARNISH THE [name] ACADEMY IMAGE etc etc about it if i shitposted with/at them and they found out abt it. and i get it bc again, boooo stop poaching, but also its not like im telling them gps coords to a lapras mating grounds to stakeout!! im just here 2 say funny stuff or help out other trainers but bc im whatever about that stuff i dont wanna namedrop where i learn at bc i kind of want to actually graduate ykno

[ughgoaway]

Hi ace thank you for responding to my message in the first place xx

I went to therapy for 3 years and kinda felt it didnt help too much tbh, i think im so hopeless by now i dont i even want to go back

And uni is just a mess because i end in a month so i dont know if theyll even believe me, i dont know, i feel like fear is consuming me and i cant do anything about it

I also had an attempt a while back that no one knows about because i didnt go to the hospital, so neither my family or friends know

Im sorry for being so selfdeprecating ace but this is all i know and im tired of it

hi again, lovely.

(tw// discussion of suicide attempts and depression below the cut)

//////

therapy can feel more like a chore than helpful for a lot of people, especially if you're neurodirvergent as typical therapy isn't made with us in mind. but I promise a good therapist can do wonders. if you find someone you mesh with and that you can be honest with, they can help you a lot. but I understand if that doesn't feel doable right now. I promise you are not hopless, no one is. you are not beyond help or unworthy of help, you are valued and loved. you deserve to feel joy and love in your life.

the fact that you felt able to share this with me speaks wonders, even if it's anonymous. there is some part of you that yearns to the better and knows it's possible.

as for uni, even if you only have a month left, it's worth reaching out. they can help you get set up at the right places with the right people. programs exist within universities for people who are going through what you are. they will believe you, no one would lie about something that is so vulnerable and so hard to admit.

you can also go to your GP (idk if you're English or not, but that just means your general doctor) and ask for a referral to a mental health clinic and they may also be able to provide you with medication if they feel it would work for you.

at attempt is such a massive thing to be dealing with on your own, I can't imagine how much that must be weighing on you. as hard as it might be to hear, I'm glad it wasn't successful. You belong here for a lot longer. if you tell even one person, it will help massively. you don't even have to share intimate details just a tiny bit.

Once they understand how hard it is for you, they will work to help you and make you know how loved you are. I understand not wanting to tell people, it feels fucking impossible and every time you go to share it gets stuck in your chest. so if you can't say it, maybe write a letter or a text. you can say you don't wanna talk about it further but you need support, people will adapt to what you need. they care about you, and they want you here, and they deserve the chance to show you that.

you don't have to apologise. If anyone understand self deprecating, it's me. but this won't always be your life. Those very brief moments where you feel better will grow longer eventually. you have the capability of feeling loved and knowing you belong here, it might not feel like it but you do. I know you belong here, and so does everyone with the pleasure of knowing you.

I know I always feel like a burden to my family and friends, so I just want to reiterate that you're not. they love you, you are so so important to them.

[dear-ao3]

🇺🇸🇺🇸its friday then its saturday sunday WHAT🇺🇸🇺🇸 🇺🇸🇺🇸ITS FRIDAY THEN ITS SATURDAY SUNDAY WHAT🇺🇸🇺🇸

what the fuck is a kilometer everyone! in case you couldn't tell, this week were in miami, florida, usa. shit hit the fan big time (probably cause its Florida), penalties were dished out, questionable guests were invited, history was certainly made, celebrations were beyond had and silly season was positively sillying. today is may 10th and lets stage dive right in. and trust me, youre gonna wanna read this one :)

please note: i think this is the longest one weve had so far. i hit the photo and video limit. i was terrified i was going to hit the line limit as well.

so. the miami race. its another sprint weekend. back to back sprints. who thought that was a good idea. idk. wasnt me.

this is only the third time there has been a race in miami. and miami has already made its mark. both of the previous times f1 has gone there there were batshit bonkers things happening. especially in 2022:

-lando and daniel did a whole bit with james corden, the very origin of this look:

-sebastian vettel protested the fia mandating (trying to mandate? im not sure) inspecting drivers underwear to make sure that it was fireproof by wearing underwear on top of his race suit. his logic was essentially, well were all adults here and we can make desisions for ourselves, the fia has other shit to worry about (look it up if you want the whole story)

-sir lewis hamilton protested the fia jewelry ban by showing up to the press conference wearing what seems to be every piece of jewelry he had on hand. at the time, he was getting fined for wearing a nose stud in the car while other people were wearing wedding rings (apparently) (there is more to this story, look it up if you want, for now tho were just using it to set the miami scene as a race that has never known peace)

and also, fernando alonso served massive amounts of cunt in miami back in 2004:

on account of the fact that it is florida, this is also where the weird sort of washed up celebrities usually appear (you know the ones who are not cool enough to make it to monaco but still somehow end up at a gp?) and there were definitely several of those. ill talk about them later. so anyway, like most races, miami is usually a trip.

now that the scene is set, lets get some lights on. prior to the race, we had a....wide variety of stuff happen.

and lets just start with lando. hes back being a pr menace again.

so lando is friends with this dj named martin garrix. he did that song animals that had clubs in a chokehold back in like 2014. anyway. he is dutch. this will play a role momentarily. lando has toured around with martin before, notably over winter break on his frat boy pose world tour that i mentioned a good many several updates ago.

so earlier this week was kings day in amsterdam. aka the kings birthday. and a good excuse to wear orange and party. lando likes to party and mclarens team color is orange (dont come for me i know its Technically papaya), and hes friends with a dutch dj. so kings day found him on a boat in amsterdam having a regular old Time. (slight flash warning)

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anyway, brief tangent to say that one of the people he was on the boat with was none other than eva gutowski? the mylifeaseva youtuber? from like 2012? with the literally my life is beaches every single night, messy buns and christmas lights song? yeah not on my bingo board to see her, martin garrix and lando norris all partying on a boat in an amsterdam canal together, but cest la vie i suppose!

all was going well for lando until this photo started circulating:

turns out he did not break his nose, he somehow just managed to cut it on some smashed glass. presumably by smashing a glass into his face, as he later mimed to max during the drivers parade. thankfully that meant that he was going to be able to drive in miami!

his official statement to the press during media day was its "a little bit silly. looked a lot worse, everyone thought it was horrendous and it was just a little cut. I wish i had a cooler story, but sadly its not"

martin garrix later said that it was from a cup that had a chip on the rim and he took a sip from it and the rum cut his nose, but because of the placement it started bleeding a lot and they put bandaids on it and then someone mummied him with the gauze, someone else took a citure of it which went viral and everyone (including mclaren) saw it and thought that martin had broken his nose.

in a mclaren video that he did later on with oscar, he jokes that he had gotten a nose job.

aside from that, lando also went to the miami heat game. so did some other drivers (like pierre), but his teammate oscar also went.

you might be wondering oh thats nice, did they go together?

well. look at the comparison of where they were sitting:

lando has court side tickets and is dressed like a frat boy (complete with a nose bandage) and oscar is seemingly on the other side of the court about 10-15 rows up. i sincerely doubt the other knew they were going.

moving on from mclaren. we have mercedes.

for some reason, and i really could not tell you why, merc decided to create an emoji car on WhatsApp and premier it on the empire state building. yes, on it.

toto and lewis flipped the switch themselves, and it looked vaguely like a wedding photo or baby announcement or something equally insane.

lewis also got to drive on 5th avenue:

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aparently he was told by the mayor of new york to Not do doughnuts but well, hes lewis hamilton, and he did them anyway and said hey guys its not my fault that i had to do doughnuts its the Car's fault cause i cant really u turn in it

and side note, in case you are wondering, the marks from his doughnuts are still there (at least as of may 4 cause i marched my ass down 5th avenue when i was in the city this weekend and gazed upon them. would recommend)

reguardless of just how much lewis slayed though, the emoji car did look decently silly:

the mercedes social media admin, who are notoriously bonkers, also shitted on how shit the actual merc f1 car is by making their twitter bio to "home of the whatsapp emoji car"

george was notably nowhere to be found at the emoji car reveal in the city (i know hes in the photo, that was from the race weekend itself) worry not everyone, we will get to him later.

meanwhile, alpine.

in case you need a refresher, alpine are not doing too hot at all. theyre doing pretty bad actually. but, people own stake in the team. and one of those people happens to be travis kelce, football player for the kansas city chiefs and taylor swifts boyfriend.

idk why he owns stake in alpine, but he does. and leading up to the race, reportedly, he and taylor were going to be in the paddock at the alpine garage. this was all very much according to rumors, but it was rumored to be plausible because this would be the last weekend taylor has off before the next leg of the international eras tour starts.

why do we care if taylor is in the paddock?

well.

a decent chunk of fernando alonso's internet presence is entirely based around the insane omg hes dating taylor swift rumors. (he wasnt, but as we saw in the last update, the social media team can really get him to play into it) and wouldn't it just be hilarious if they were in the same place, but thwarted by estie bestie and pierre gasley??

taylor though did not end up in the paddock. but travis kelce did. but there will be a weird celebrities section later.

checo was asked aparently what taylor swift album was his favorite. he said that he was in his tortured poets department era because it was hot. i dont have a source for this one, y'all are just going to have to trust me that it actually happened.

yuki also shoved a bunch of footballs under his shirt on media day: (unfortunately i seem o have lost the link to this video)

and this weekend was logan's home race. technically, cause hes american, he has three home races, but since this one is in miami and hes grew up a hop skip and a jump away in fort lauderdale, this is the one that really counts for him. and they made him do some interesting pr including wearing a duracell sorts bra over a shirt to play soccer with a bunch of professional soccer players (idk who they are ok, sue me ig)

he also quizzed alex albon on america slang. but it wasnt really american slang, it was more like tiktok slang. reguardless, we got to hear logan stay stuff like pookie and no cap.

also. tom brady was in the Williams garage. he looked like he would murder for logan sargeant. (to be fair so dod jenson button)

and. on a more somber note. this weekend was also the 30th anniversary of ayrton senna's death. senna was a Brazilian driver in the 80s and 90s and won the championship in 88, 90 and 91. he died during a crash in the 1994 imola gp while racing for williams. (he was also not the only driver to die that weekend, with roland ratzenberger dying the previous say during the qualifying session). (again though this happened 30 years ago and i dont have time to talk about it on this post, if you want to know the full details of that entire very tragic weekend you can read about it here)

senna is famously known for the line "if you no longer go for a gap that exists you are no longer a racing driver." this will become relevant later.

sebastian vettel made an instagram announcement saying that he was going to be driving one of sennas cars at the imola gp this year in honor of ayrton sennas memory. why is he the one doing it? because im pretty sure he owns the car

aside from that. before we get into the really good juicy shit. we also had some new pet pics.

zhou posted some new pictures of his cat sweetcorn and charles's dog leo continues to serve lost in the sauce realness:

and we learned that valtteri has a reindeer named rosa

leo was also featured in charles's instagram post from miami and yes Technically this was from After the race but its my post and i can do what i want so heres leo:

he posted these photos, plus a few more on his instagram with the caption:

"he is very fast, he is very cool, he is very scary and very brave, he is everything. Leo 👑🤍"

which is just. heart melting. also his dog has a paddock pass?????

lance stroll has a new sponsor, its krown produce.

charles leclerc once again pulled up to the track in a fancy little sports car that was decked out in maimi ferrari blue and failed to park it

george russell nearly killed ed sheeran on a hot lap

and that of course takes us to the washed up celebrities. there were many famous people there but im just going to touch on the unholy trinity of (and yes i am being serious here) jake paul, james charles and the previous president of the united states of America.

now. while it is baffling that jake was in the ferrari garage (and seemingly a charles leclerc fan and also who on earth told him that beard looked good?) and understandably hilarious that max and checo clearly are scared of james charles, the trump thing is decently upsetting.

here, once again, is where i will interject my opinion.

should they have done this? fuck no. aside from what trump stands for (in case you are somehow unfamiliar, hes being tried for several crimes and also wants to destroy democracy and is trying to run for president again this year, to put it very very mildly he is controversial especially to americans and this was an american race) f1 is supposed to be a non political sport (a rule put in place by the fia following lewis hamilton and sebastian vettel speaking out for black lives matter and gay rights respectfully)

and mclaren did make a statement about this which said:

"mclaren is a non political organization however we recognize and respect the office of the president of the united states. so when the request was made to visit our garage on race day we accepted alongside the president of the fia and the ceos of liberty media and formula 1. we were honored that mcalren racing was chosen as the representative of f1 which gave us the opportunity to showcase the world class engineering that we bring to motorsport"

which makes it sound at least to me like this was not their idea to invite him and if the fia president is saying hey this guys coming to your garage you cant really exactly say no to him (should they have fought it? yes. mclaren might be a british team but zak brown is american and he also follows trump on instagram so at the very least he Definitely knew what message this would send if no one else did)

lando was asked about his presence and im not going to quote his response here cause simply i dont want to take up more space writing about trump than i need to. but i will say that he looked uncomfortable during the question (which also shouldnt have been allowed to be asked in the first place) and at the end he kind of looks at Charles and shrugs like "idk man" and yes his response is not worded very well and im not saying that he supports trump, im also not saying he doesnt. i dont know the guy. but i would like to take this moment to remind everyone of a few years ago when lando did defend lewis on social media and called out people who were being racist towards him and remind everyone that he was one of very few drivers to kneel at a race in support of black lives matter. not everyone participated and also not everyone of those participants kneeled. so do with this information what you will. if you want to see his response it can be found here

but obviously, we are all here for the racing. so lets get into it.

miami saw two special liveries.

rb dropped their livery with zero lead up and pretty much as a total surprise. it fucking slayed:

on instagram someone asked why they didnt hype it. the vcarb admin responded with "no need to hype when you can COOK! 🧑‍🍳"

this was definitely a dig at ferrari who also did a special miami livery that they hyped up to no end. like seriously, it was stupidly drawn out. china had barely ended and they were like hey. psst. hey guys. to distract you all from the fact that this was the first time all season we haven't been on the podium we've got a little secret. were bringing back the blue for the miami race!

and everyone was like huh?! theyre going blue!!! how cool!!!

and it did seem like it would be cool. they revealed the suits first:

and then they talked relentlessly about the two colors they were using and how important they are to historical ferrari and blah blah blah

and then carlos and charles did special edition blue helmets and we were all like ok ok its serious omg its real ok this is going to be like dinoco lightning McQueen!

and then. they revealed this: (please imagine that one dan howell womp boat noise esque sound effect here)

which is just. a disappointment. really. the blue looks kind of gray. we could have had it all but we lost it.

and will buxton, who i have talked about before hes one of the sky sports presenters, had this to say about the whole blue car ordeal, which is just so real of him:

"ferrari have been teasing this livery for ages oOooOooo its gonna be blue!!! going back to north america! in 1964 ferrari ran a... well not to get too complicated but they ran a blue and white livery in north america, mainly because they were upset with the italian federation and the fia who failed to validate one of their sports cars... ANYWAY so they ran a blue and white car, ferrari have decided to may homage to the history by....not doing that kind of a livery at all. just...chucking on some light blue and some other blue. bit of a mish mash hodge podge weirdness that doesnt really work. BUT the overalls look Amazing. the shirts look Amazing. im not a fan of the car livery, i just think its a Mess. its a Mess, like you could have done something Classic and Beautiful kinda like that *gestures to his shoes* blue and white!"

will buxton, everyone!! and before you ask, yes that is exactly how he speaks. you can watch that clip here if you dont believe me.

and you might be noticing one or two or eight or actually 15 hp logos on that car. (personally i think they did blue for the hp not for north america but thats just me) and that is because hp is now a title sponsor of ferrari. they are now scuderia ferrari hp. and yes, the hp logo on the suits makes it look like they are telletubbies and yes everyone in italy is like hello Why did we do this and for those answers we will have to get straight into silly season

now. silly season has officially started. i know everyone was like oh it wont Really Start until merc decide whos got the second seat. well throw that straight out the window like a snake in a bag cause theres a new contender in town:

adrian newey.

we've talked about him before. hes the chief technical officer of red bull racing. hes a very good car designer and aerodynamicist.

how good is he? you might be asking. allow me to enlighten you:

newey joined williams in 1991. in 1992 they won the constructors championship. they won again in 1993 and 1994. and 1996 and 1997.

newey joined mclaren in 1997. in 1998 they won the constructors championship and in 1999 they won the drivers.

newey joined red bull in 2006. red bull won the constructors championship in 2010. and again in 2011, 2012 and 2013. then again in 2021 (drivers only, not constructors), 2022 and 2023.

he has helped to build 14 championship winning cars. soon to be 15 if max wins this season again.

well! mr newey has decided that he has had enough of the weird red bull politics (reportedly he didnt like how the assault thing got swept under the rug and largely ignored and tbh good for him) and he has announced that he is leaving red bull at the end of the year.

despite the fact that it really seems like newey is leaving Because of christian (at least somewhat indirectly), christian had this to say about him:

"for me, when adrian joined red bull, he was already a superstar designer. two decades and 13 championships later he leaves as a true legend. he is also my friend and someone i will be eternally grateful to for everything he brought to our partnership. all of our greatest moments from the past 20 years have come with adrian's hand on the technical tiller. the legacy he leaves behind will echo through the halls of milton keynes and the rb17 track car will be a fitting testament and legacy to his time with us."

horner did claim that this was "coming for some time" and was not a result of tensions at red bull

now thats all fine and dandy and slightly ironic but where is newey going?

the short answer is, we dont know!

the long answer is that there have been rumors that he has talked to basically every team on the grid. there is also speculation that he will retire. but the rumors about this are kinda funny and literally every day someone is claiming something different.

at the start, we knew it was likely going to be aston martin or ferrari signing him. but now seemingly everyone has talked to him.

important to note that theres a whole lot of clauses and technicalities on him signing with another team because of how the cars are built and when they are built. originally it was proposed that he would not be able to work on a car until 2027, but it seems that red bull agreed to an exit that allows him to join a rival team as soon as he departs red bull in early 2025.

so who wants him?

-reportedly lawrence stroll wanted him to sign with aston martin. i haven't heard anything about this in awhile but aparently they asked fernando Alonso about this this weekend. newey had said before that he would like to work with fernando. i cant find the link but i think that newey previously said that he doesnt like lawrence stroll

-toto wolff is desperately trying to get his grubby little hands on adrian and at this point its so funny. aparently adrian doesnt want to work with toto cause he also doesnt like him and he also doesnt want to work with the team in a post lewis state (rip) and he thinks it might take merc too long to get back on top and after a long time at red bull, he doesnt want to be with a team that long again. this has not stopped toto from trying to sign him tho. its still rumored that newey might be talking to merc after the miami race.

-williams aparently has also talked to mr newey. its no secret that williams absolutely suck right now. so they need all the help they can get. which is essentially what james vowels said about talking to newey: "I think we as Williams have a huge amount of work to do. Adrian or not, our task is enormous -- and Adrian wouldn't make it easier, but that's the whole point." he said that discussions with adrian have been "light" but there still have been discussions

-zak brown of mclaren has also talked about how he is "not surprised" that newey decided to leave red bull at all and thinks it is in fact because of christian (aparently lots of people have left red bull to go to other teams) and he has seen an "increase in cvs" coming from red bull employees at mclaren. (its also implied that zak thinks this might cause red bull to eventually leave the grid, remember that they are just an energy drink company after all) it doesnt Seem like mclaren have been talking about signing newey, but whos to really say at this point (toto wolff also agrees with zak on increase in cvs and was quoted as saying "zak is absolutely correct, we are seeing red bull cv's though all the levels" and then horner clapped back with a statement that toto should be more worried since red bull poached "over 200 staff from the mercedes engine department"

-there was also weird hinting about newey from stake??? of all teams??? in the form of this instagram video that they posted which unfortunately i cant insert in here cause i have more important videos that take precedence but from what i van understand its a video of several stake employees doing tests very very distractedly to an audio from the kardashians dishing tea and dirt, with the caption "Us when there’s Adrian Newey rumours in the paddock 👀" (red bull commented on this video with " Everyone is an Adrian Newey fan 💁"

-also pierre gasley posted an instagram photo in his miami dump with newey. which is interesting timing.

-there is also the chance that he could retire. newey said, in response to lewis and charles complimenting him "im very flattered by their words, at the moment I just want to take a break. we'll see..." and a reporter (dont know how reliable this reporter is) named jeremy clarkson from the sun said "late last year, newey started working on a new sailing boat. and as hes now 65 years old, who knows? he might just decide to be better off and spend the autumn of his years sailing around the world in that"

-and the last people we know who are really Interested are ferrari. and this is an interesting one. from an outside perspective, it seems like ferrari have the best chance. they have reportedly offered newey a contract of 100 million euros for four years and there have been rumors that fred vasseur has met with him in london. and even other rumors that he is actually going to ferrari. newey has also said that he wishes he had worked with lewis hamilton during his career, and that happens to be where lewis is going next year.

but when looking at ferrari, we need to consider something else. the hp sponsor.

now. this is all speculation. it is also mostly all my own personal speculation, but i needed to include it so forgive me.

people have been speculating and wondering why ferrari would accept a title sponsor. they have had them before with Marlboro, and mission winnow. and now we have hp. but there were a few years in the middle of mission winnow and hp where there was no title sponsor. now they have one and they are scuderia ferrari hp.

this is interesting. especially when you consider that hp is rumored to be covering "about 66% of the teams budget cap."

this is estimated to be about the same amount of money as red bulls oracle title sponsorship, which is 90 million a year, roughly.

now. come with me down the rabbit hole for a moment. i invite you in.

lets first look at the facts. ferrari announced lewis would be driving for them in 2025 on feb 1, 2024. but we know the contract was signed sometime in january and the talks must have predated that. reportedly, theyre paying lewis a whole fucking lot.

but! i dont think they would have promised to pay him money that they didnt have. hence, i dont think that the hp sponsorship was signed to afford lewis. also, again this was back in january and its now may.

the horner situation blew up inearly february, right after it was announced that lewis had signed with ferrari. and yes there had been some speculation that newey was leaving the team before then, but then it became more official, with newey only making it known it was a real possibility within the last month.

i propose that ferrari had only planned to sign lewis initially and they had the money for it, hence why they did it. but as soon as it became clear that newey was also on the table (which again, wasnt until recently) that must have sparked the search for a title sponsor. (again, i know these things take time, but i really dont think this was a thing pre lewis contract)

so. im thinking that ferrari partnered with hp to help them afford newey.

and! if you doubt me!!! look at what lewis had to say at the press conference this weekend!!!

"id love to work with him in the future, he'd absolutely be at the top of [the list]"

like LOOK at that SMIRK. he knows things. we've seen this smirk before. when he was signing with ferrari. im telling you all. 8th world drivers championship for lewis. its coming. its happening. i feel it in my toes.

anyway, back to what's really going on and not just my unadulterated opinion.

silly season.

our next driver contract was signed. and it was nico hulkenberg for audi. now audi will not be an official team until 2026 (they are replacing stake) so. this means three things:

there is now an open seat at haas for someone new to enter the team (likely for ollie bearman, who is already a reserve driver, will have 6 practice sessions with haas and replaced carlos in saudi) (kevin magnussen was asked what he thought about this and he said "i’m not really here to take care of young kids, you know? I do that at home...so, hopefully, the guy we have in the car will be competent, professional, and consistent like Nico has been, and we’ll see if I’ll be in the other car."

since nico is singing at sauber for 2025 and its understood that he technically singed with Audi so, this means he has at minimum a 2 year contract

either valtteri or zhou will lose their sauber seat to nico hulkenberg

as people online pointed out this has massive parallels to 2013 when lewis hamilton joined a new team, nico hulkenberg joined sauber, there was a massive regulation change for the nest year and it was the fourth season of red bull dominance. of course, 2013 was also the last year of the red bull dominance before it got passed off to merc. so does that mean .... red bull will lose their dominance in the rrew 2026 regulation changes without newey??? will history once again repeat????

valtteri said that he is "speaking to multiple teams. some talks have advanced more than the others"

also talking to audi, we know, was carlos sainz. reportedly audi offered him a fuckton of money. and also reportedly, carlos has rejected the offer. he seems to be holding out for merc or red bull. but there have been several statements from people at audi that carlos is still their prime target. dont know how accurate that actually is.

yuki tsunoda is reportedly on audis short list of drivers. we will see if he gets offered something now that carlos has reportedly rejected audis offer.

carlos is still unemployed.

and what of max verstappen?

well. he seems generally unbothered. despite the fact that toto is still actively trying to recruit him.

he is supposed to have a conversation with mercedes on monday (may 6) about moving to merc. they reportedly want to offer max a ridiculously high salary. (for context, i think max is making around 55 million USD per year now and is (likely) the highest paid driver) (this does not include money from sponsorships either)

what the number is is disputed. some reports say 160 million USD. some day 270 million USD. whatever the real number is, it is high. theres also rumors that they would bring in helmet marko for him.

heres what max had to say earlier this week:

"250 million euros? no. im happy with what im earningg already. if youre driving for p5 or p6, you get quite grumpy. its always about performances at the end of the day, everyone knows that and toto knows that."

essentially. he doesnt care if hes making a shit ton of money and loosing when he could be making a bit less of a shitton of money and winning. worth pointing out, we really dont know anything because toto said this earlier this week as well:

"people make up meetings, make up what's happening with the drivers but those things should be behind closed doors and everything thats been out there was not really the right thing."

christian horner, of course, had a response to all of this. because he cannot resist a good cat fight with toto wolff:

"why on earth would you want to leave [red bull]? mercedes are the third team, behind their customers at the moment. i dont think toto's problems are his drivers. his time would be better spent perhaps focusing on [mercedes] rather than the driver market"

and hes right about some of it. but also there are plenty of good reasons to leave red bull given what happened earlier this year and the power dynamic theyre stuck in, as we have seen many people doing (reportedly via zak brown) including adrian newey.

and, you might be wondering, didnt merc want to sign kimi antonelli at one point? and you are right. and funny you should mention him.

he did a test drive of the 2022 (? might have been 2021 ive seen conflicting reports) merc car i think it was just before chinese gp. and his one lap time record was a 1:21.00. people have compared this to george russells personal fastest lap in the 2022 car which was in imola and was a 1:20.962. now theres a lot that goes into a lap and these were on two different tracks and track conditions were different and all that. not to mention that in imola when george did that lap it was sorta wet ish and the fuel loads were different and a million other things. it is still though impressive.

(but lets remember when daniel tested the red bull last year before he replaced de vries he was a tenth off max verstappen and now hes struggling for points so)

now. there are also rampant rumors that kimi is going to replace logan sargeant for the imola gp. which is the race after miami. the rumors speculate that merc is going to loan kimi to Williams (remember they all have the same engines so this isn't unheard of) for 2024 and 2025 and then have kimi join merc in 2026.

this is unlikely, but then the fia reportedly received a request to allow kimi his super license, which they would need to get special permission for because he is under 18 until august 25. reportedly, both toto and james vowels denied that they made this request. which is interesting. well, it was explicitly denied by toto, james just said that kimi would not be racing for williams at imola.

james vowels, williams team principal, was asked about this possibility on media days and he said that logan would not be replaced:

"lets put it this way. I haven't spoken to kimi since abu dhabi last year. hopefully that puts it in context, i knoe nothing about what's going on. with mercedes tests right now. we are looking, as everyone else is, for where we wanna be on driver line up for next year. sane we have our own young driver program. in the case of kimi, i cant really adjudicate the level hes at. in case of him coming into the car this year, ive always said from the beginning its a meritocracy, logan has to earn his seat and at the moment he has sone tough targets where he was to get much closer to alex but there was nothing on the radar at the moment for replacing him."

now, its already regarded that williams wrecked logans career by taking him out of f2 before he was ready (he was supposed to have another year in f2) so it would be bad for them to wreck two peoples careers in a row.

nico rosberg had something to say on the matter of kimi last week:

"antonelli is definitely a superstar of the future, but unfortunately timing wise its really too early for him, and especially too early for toto to be able to make a decision. i mean, he needs to wait until somewhat later in the year as we see how antonelli does in f2 also, because he does need a really strong season in f2 to even make it a possibility for him to go straight to mercedes"

cause remember, merc doesnt usually sign rookies. actually they never have. they've only ever had michael schumacher, nico rosberg, sir lewis hamilton, valtteri bottas and george russell drive for them. nico, valtteri and george were previously at williams, lewis came in already a world champion from mclaren with one of the strongest rookie seasons in f1 history and michael schumacher was, well, michael fucking schumacher. no rookies to be seen.

aside from all that. theres some rumors that gunther steiner wants to take over the vcarb team with investors. and that hes suing haas for essentially not paying him.

now. ive already said a million times on this post that lando and oscar are perpetually unbothered by silly season in the funniest way possible. but now we have two new contenders for that spot: our friends the mercedes drivers.

that is right! sir lewis hamilton couldnt give less of a fucking shit this year. maybe its cause he finally knows that hes going to be free of the absolutely ass mercedes car after this year and have a decent and real shot at winning again next year at ferrari, esp if they're going to sign adrian newey.

well. at the beginning of the season he was giving no shits and signing ferrari caps left right and center. then, aparently mercedes pr yelled at him for this, and hes now only allowed to sign mercedes hats only. video link to this is here. this has not stopped lewis. he now wears a bracelet that says "forza ferrari"

he was also tits out pretty much all weekend, which is not unusual, but its good to see him slay:

and then we have george russell.

george, as we know, will be staying at mercedes for 2025. and as we also know, the mercedes second seat is a hot item in the paddock. Everyone has been speculated to be going to mercedes. from max to carlos to kimi to even esteban ocon. toto is reportedly trying to spend over a hundred million dollars on getting a second driver and trying to sign adrian newey. the current car is a shit box.

and what, pray tell, is george up to in all of this???

hes chilling, tits out, on a beach:

not an absolute care in the world.

but. with all this in mind. with all of that in mind. lets dive into practice 1.

i didnt actually watch practice 1, but my sister did and she sent me some notes.

the most interesting thing to happen at practice 1 was that charles went for a little spin on the track because his clutch decided to give up because his car overheated, resulting in a red flag. he did not restart the practice session and only did 3 laps in total. not great when you remember the next thing is a sprint qualifying session. also, he asked his engineer what he should do. and his engineer kinda ghosted him.

there were also a slew of upgrades on various cars.

pierre now has all the upgrades that esteban has (which is mostly a lighter chassis), mercedes had an upgrade as well, but everyone was really looking at mclaren.

mercedes also had upgrades. as we would see throughout the weekend, they basically did nothing.

mclaren pretty much revamped their whole car. lando had the full update and oscar had about half and would get the other half for imola (the next race). the update included changes to the:

front wing

front suspension

front corner

floor body

sidepod inlet

coke/engine cover

cooling louvres

rear suspension

rear corner

beam wing

all in all to say, it was a lot of upgrades. according to zak brown, oscar, who had half the upgrades, was running .2 seconds a lap slower than lando was on set up alone. despite this, oscar still took p2 in practice. only .105 seconds behind max verstappen. unfortunately, lando was tweaking the set up during practice and was not able to do a flying lap, so heading into the sprint qualifying we didnt know how fast the full upgrade package actually was. but given oscars pace, we could only assume that it was fast.

moving onto the sprint qualifying

first of all. it was hot. fucking hot as hell. this meant several things, the most important one being that the cars were going to absolutely eat the tires. the first two quarters of qualifying were all done on medium tires, so it wasnt as much of a problem, but the last quarter was done on softs (as per the rules) which were only good for one lap.

valtteri bottas had a new race engineer starting this race and at one point he failed to tell valtteri while he was changing some settings that oscar piastri was coming up behind him at full speed and the two of them nearly collided. but they did not. there was no contact between the two cars. valtteri did though get a three place grid penalty for the sprint race. later on, zak brown referred to the incident as a "alpha make turf war." i am not making this up i promise.

logan sargeant, everyones favorite poor little meow meow, was down in 20th at the end of q1 (but did managed to go fastest in the third sector of the track) and was thus knocked out. his teammate, alex albon, was up in p16 (and also knocked out). but!!! alex got his lap time deleted for violating track limits (literally he just drove over the whole chicane, didnt even bother to turn) which knocked him down to p20 and logan up to p19. it also meant that for the first time EVER logan had out qualified his teammate

despite this, he still called himself a dumb fuck over the radio and slammed his hand on his car

someone (maybe it was martin bundle?) was telling everyone that when he did a hot lap with george around the track earlier, george was telling him that there was one section of the track at turn 16 where the sponsor boards around the edge of the track turn into a darker purple and george was saying that it was harder to judge there where the wall was because of the color change. and the commentators deliberated over whether or not this could be a legit thing.

but then one by one, pretty much everyone rammed into the wall. including sir lewis hamilton who, according to martin brundle "made more mistakes in that sector than he used to in a season." he got out in q2.

and then all eyes were on george russell, who might just be able to save merc, but, he was running a little slower than he needed to be and crofty said "george russell might make it a double miserable day for mercedes and he did” and he was out in q2 as well. the camera cut to toto sitting in the garage and he looked Less Than Pleased. and then merc also got investigated for their pit crew not wearing their helmets when lewis came through the pit lane.

so heading into q3 there were a butt ton of pissed off drivers that were out. how do we know they were pissed off? well when they got out of the car and walked down the pit lane, they all still had their helmets on, which i believe it was one nico rosberg said once meant that they were pissed and didnt want to deal with the cameras.

but the 10 people who were still in were all sitting in their garages. waiting.

waiting for what? for the session to be half over so they could all go out and get in everyone else's way. because remember, they are all on soft tires and the soft tires are only good for one lap. everyone came out of the garages with about 4 minutes left. so everyone had one shot to get a good lap.

lando norris had been p1 in both of the previous rounds while he was on the medium tires, but now that he was on the soft tires he couldn't find the pace. or, perhaps it was that his tires were not warm enough, because he did manage to go fastest in the last sector of everyone.

which meant, of course, that max verstappen pulled out a p1. he was very surprised that he managed it because he had a screw up at one point where he lost time. upon being told that he was in fact in pole position he said "lol, what happened to the others? that was terrible! ill take it" in his post interview he as asked how his lap felt and he said "to be honest with you it felt pretty terrible" would this be an omen for max? idk lets find out!

most surprising out of everything was daniel ricciardo managing to get p4. not only did he out qualify his teammate, but he hasn't been that high up on the grid since the texas gp in 2023. he was positively Thrilled with it to. he did his little "KI KI KI AY AY AY" over the radio and in his interview after said that "we belong towards the front, so happy for everyone"

max also stared at charles's ass afterwards

and for some reason, before the sprint race, lando cohosted a yoga session on a beach that was sponsored by hilton???

yeah man i have no idea either. he kept saying he didnt like the sand and brushed off his hands a million and seven times. (this was also funny cause it was star wars day (may 4th))

and the next day everyone geared up for the sprint race. and it was fucking bonkers. i know i say lots of things are bonkers. this one takes the cake. it was a race of penalties. with the first one going to esteban ocon before he even made it to the grid for running into charles leclerc in the pitlane and breaking his front wing.

everyone pulled up to the grid in their starting order:

p1: max p2: charles p3: checo p4: daniel p5: carlos p6: oscar p7: lance p8: fernando p9: lando p10: nico p11: george p12: lewis p13: esteban p14: kevin p15: yuki p16: pierre p17: zhou p18: logan p19: alex p20: valtteri

martin brundle was discussing tires. specifically he was discussing the importance of warning up the tires. saying that the tires need to go through a "heat cycle." which is just. such a choice of words. i know this is probably a real legit term. but sir, i grew up on tumblr.com. such sentences are jarring.

and then the lights went out. away they went. and immediately it all went to hell in a flaming hot hand basket.

the aston martins of fernando and lance decides to kiss, lewis went for a gap and knocked into them and that whole kerfuffle shoved lando off the track in turn one.

this brought out an immediate yellow flag and left the rest of the midfield picking up the pieces.

"whoa," fernando said over the radio, 'hamilton arrived like a bull!"

"i think you'll find it was your teammate that arrived like a bull first," crofty said up in the commentary box. "and then hamilton came and doubled the trouble."

meanwhile, in his own car, hamilton said "there was a gap on the inside so i took it," all but dedicating his move to the late and great ayrton senna

reguardless of whos fault it really was, the stewards didnt care because they chose not to investigate it further. zak brown thought that this was stupid because it was clearly a driver error.

lando gave no shits even though he had been knocked out of the race at no fault of his own and decided that he was going to walk across the track after he got out of the car. that walk later cost him 50,000 dollars worth of fines. thankfully. the damage on his car was minor. meaning he could still do qualifying for the race later in the afternoon.

in addition to lando, lance stroll was forced to retire his car as well. and fernando alonso had a tire puncture.

later on lando said "nothing i could have done. i think today we payed the price for being around others that are careless..... ill get it back tomorrow."

a safety car was called on lap three to clear the damage.

when the safety car ended on lap 4, the grid had been properly shuffled up:

p1: max p2: charles p3: daniel p4: checo p5: carlos p6: oscar p7: ncio p8: kevin p9: lewis p10: yuki p11: pierre p12: logan p13: zhou p14: george p15: valtteri p16: alex p17: esteban p18: fernando

and a reminder: in a sprint race, only down to 8th place gets points. this will become a key detail.

on lap 5 checo overtook daniel, putting daniel into 4th infront of carlos sainz.

now, one thing you need to know about danny rics is that hes a late brake king. meaning that he knows Exactly how to milk the most out of his car by pushing it to the last possible second before braking into the turns, giving himself just a slight edge and a few tenths of a second of space between him and whoever is behind him. notably, this is how he was able to win in monaco in 2018, with an MGU-K failure that made his engine have 25% less horsepower, and only two (out of eight) functioning gears while holding off sebastian vettel in a ferrari. hes a regular expert at late braking.

and his next victim was none other than carlos sainz. because, lets be honest here, hes in a shitbox car, defending against a ferrari while trying to catch a red bull.

and at the beginning, checo was holding daniel in his DRS zone (within 1 second of him to give daniel a speed boost so that he could stay in front of carlos so that carlos wouldn't pass daniel and then pass checo) while carlos was still only .3 seconds behind daniel with DRS. late brake king indeed.

but while that battle was shaping up, there was another battle.

on lap 8 we had the return of another king. the kevin magnussen menace king.

if you recall, in saudi arabia, kevin got 20 seconds worth of penalties and used that to drive like an absolute madman, royally holding up the whole back of the grid so that his teammate nico could score a point in the race.

and well. nico was in 7th, kevin was in 8th and sir lewis hamilton was in 9th. and yes, sir lewis might be driving an absolute shit box car, but he is still a 7 time world champion. hes got some moves. and he was itching to pull them on kmags.

lewis was a very solid half a second behind kevin. and according to our friends the commentators "mercedes dont look like they a great race car"

hamilton agreed with this saying "im very slow on the straight." he tried to pass kevin. and he failed.

two laps later, they were still battling it out, this time though, kevin skipped over the chicane.

"he just gained an advantage!" lewis said "he skipped the chicane!"

and so it was all aboard the struggle bus, population lewis, falling victim to kevin, carlos, who was still unable to pass danny rics , and max, who was having terrible time with his tires.

lewis briefly escaped the struggle bus when he was able to pass kevin on lap 11. kevin also reviewed his first 10 second penalty for skipping the chicane. but this did not seem to deter kevin because then he drove into lewis and left the track again.

"i wonder how many penalties he wants to pick up today" crofty wondered aloud. hint: this would not be his last penalty.

because! kmags was busting out the saudi moves to an absolute t again: going super fucking fast on the straights and then slowing down in the corners. and this was really, really effective because lewis did not have any speed on the straights, so he couldn't catch him.

when lewis finally did pass him on lap 15, kevin went incredibly late on the brakes, like purposefully late just to shove lewis off the track, shoving both lewis and yuki (who was behind him) off the track. even the commentators thought the move was insane, saying that "there was no way he was going to make the apex on that" however! lets remember that kevin was protecting his teammate nico from the cars behind him so that he could be guaranteed points. so nico had a sizable gap (6 seconds) between him and the cars behind when hamilton and yuki passed kevin on lap 16.

closing in on the end of the race. carlos was STILL stuck behind daniel, who had defended his ass off for 15 laps. kevin magnussen had received yet another penalty. and hamilton managed to pass yuki on the last lap for 8th position (but then he got a 20 second penalty for speeding in the pit lane so it meant nothing)

all in all, an interesting race. especially if you were daniel ricciardo who managed to finish in fourth and then barked like a dog over his radio:

and after the race, they caught up with kevin and asked him about his million penalties (he ended up with 3 ten second penalties for leaving the track and gaining an advantage and one 5 second penalty for track limits) (crofty and martin brundle were in agreement that the penalties that kevin received were not consistent with the severe lack of penalties that were given for the turn one lap one incident. the consensus from them was “i think he was over the limit in many ways on many occasions there" and it was a “little outrageous but he wasn’t plowing into the side of people”)

reguardless, here is what kevin (and lewis) had to say

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basically, kevin seems pretty upset that he is playing the teammate game and nico is not. nico though does have a contract already at a different team, so he really doesnt have to worry about impressing haas

and well, in case you were curious, max won. charles was p2, checo was p3. with all the penalties, kevin ended in 18 and hamilton ended in 16.

and!!! mr logan sargeant!!! for the first time EVER finished ABOVE HIS TEAMMATE in p10!!! (alex was in p13) he came and he DELIVERED!!! he was driving on SOFT TIRES in MIAMI in the HEAT and he SLAYED getting replaced rumors WHOMST

(sorry. i am american. can you tell?)

onto the qualifying session! full steam ahead!

all in all, it was kinda boring. the most interesting thing to happen was danny rics getting p17 (not including his three place grid penalty from the last race) after coming in p4 in the sprint. logan missed out on getting into q2 by .034 seconds lando opted to stay on the medium tires for the last part of qualifying because mclaren didnt want a repeat of spring qualifying where he couldnt get the softs up to temperature. despite this, he still only managed a p5.

oh and this headline:

and so, the grid was set, locked and loaded:

p1: max p2: charles p3: carlos p4: checo p5: lando p6: oscar p7: george p8: lewis p9: nico p10: yuki p11: lance p12: pierre p13: esteban p14: alex p15: fernando p16: valtteri p17: logan p18: danny rics p19: kevin p20: zhou

and it was time for the race to start.

and it started with a definite bang because checo almost took out max on the first lap:

the near crash shuffled the front up a little. oscar was able to gain three places and ended up right behind charles in p3. lando, meanwhile, was shoved further back down the grid in the mayhem (as well as checo) to p6. and on lap five, oscar managed to pass charles for p2. clearly, the upgrades, even the half upgrades that oscar had, were clearly working. he was only 2 seconds behind max (unusual as max usually flies off into the sunset) and was defending like hell against the two ferraris.

meanwhile, estie bestie and pierre were fighting. literally fighting. they were driving Next To Eachother, Wheel To Wheel on the track from turns 13-16 on lap 1. at very fast speeds. it was truly nail biting stuff. alpine even posted about it on instagram:

and who else was fighting? the ferraris, they were fighting. carlos was behind charles, but was convinced that he had more pace than charles did and wanted to pass. Ferrari basically said fuck it whatever and let them fight it out, no team orders. carlos did not end up passing charles.

pit stops played an important role in this race. and many people pitted early. albon, stroll, sargeant, bottas, hulkenberg and gasley. the majority of the back of the grid. all pitted before lap 13. which was interesting because the undercut (pitting for tires before the people around you) is really not effective on the track due to the amount of tire degradation.

anywhoozies. it was shaping up to be a fairly normal and boring race. max was out in front, the ferraris were fighting, the french civil war was alive and well. all normal things to see on a sunday afternoon.

well. it was almost normal. charles and oscar were feuding in the front. as in not they themselves were feuding, but their teams were feuding. charles was told to do whatever oscar didnt do. and oscar was told to do whatever charles didnt do. ferrari even faked a pit stop on lap 15 to try and trick mclaren into pitting oscar earlier and putting charles up into p2. it did not work.

and the normal continued. lando fought with perez for fifteen laps before checo finally pitted on lap 15 and lando was able to get in front of him.

"i dont know what the lando norris equivalent of hammer time is," martin brundle said as checo sailed into the pits. "he needs to bring it."

and bring it he did. he in p5 behind carlos sainz. his race engineer, will, said on lap 20 they should stop defending against the cars behind him and go get carlos. lando was pleased with this. "yeah! ill agree!" he said "i'll go get him!"

while he was chasing carlos, max hit a cone on turn 15 during lap 22.

it was the cone that was on the chicane, showing the cars where the curbing was, and max just kind of plowed into it:

he was asked about this moment late in the post race press conference and said:

"i didnt like it. so i decided to take it out. and test the durability of the front wing as well. so thats a crash test done. yeah, there was no damage. the cone was out of the way for everyone so everyone it was basically free for all."

the williams app, giving a race play by play had this to say about that lap:

"not satisfied with all his recent trophies, verstappen has picked up a board from the chicane as well... unfortunately for him hes dropped and left it at T16"

but regardless. there was a cone on the track. a Cone was On The Track. according to george it was in the racing line. what are they gonna do? call a virtual safety car on lap 23 for like half a lap.

after the virtual safety car ended and the cone was cleared, max decided it would be a good time to make a pit stop, which meant oscar was now leading the race! being him was carlos, lando and then max. max was a solid 10 seconds behind lando, who was catching up to carlos.

lando got the fastest lap on lap 25 and according to ted down in the pitlane "lando norris [was] doing brilliant laps" and max was loosing time chasing him, and he (max) had very very low grip

and he did not get past carlos, but he did end up leading the race on lap 28 when oscar and carlos both pitted.

and then. the race was about to heat up. menace k mags was back and he had a new target: logan sargeant. kevin had tried to pass logan and rammed into him, sending loan sailing into the wall.

to say logan was upset about it would be an understatement:

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for real, this poor kid cannot fucking catch a break. you can tell how upset he is because he wants the team to think well of him and he knows that he only has one shot to prove himself and doesnt want to waste his chance in f1. and to be knocked out at your home race is absolutely brutal.

after the race, he posted an instagram post of him fishing in front of a sunset to the song something in the orange. please give this man a break he deserves it.

regardless. this caused a safety car. and people pitted under the safety car. pretty much everyone who didnt pit already pitted under the safety car. including lando norris. and he came out of the pits in front of max.

by the time the safety car ended on lap 33, lando was still leading and max was still behind him, charles was in p3, oscar in p4 and carlos in p5. lando had new tires but red bull had speed.

max tried to overtake lando once the safety car ended but he wasnt able to, and then max made a mistake at turn 8 and fell behind with carlos catching up to him.

by the time the drivers could use their DRS again, lando was already more than a second ahead of max and out of DRS range, which would make it harder for max to pass him.

now might be a very good time to remind you all that lando norris has never won a race in f1. he has come close, but he has never won. he really really really wants to win one. people have even started calling him lando no wins cause he has no wins. hes been in f1 for 6 years. he has not won. hes leading a race. he doesnt need to pit. his car is freshly upgraded. and max verstappen is behind him.

while lando was creating a gap, carlos was fighting with Oscar.

now. carlos and oscar have a feud. i dont really know why. but they always seem to pick fights with eachother on track. well, carlos usually picks fights with oscar on track, oscar is usually just chilling.

previous incidents between these two have included but not been limited to:

oscar saying "Classic Carlos, just sitting in the middle of the road, I see nothing has changed" over his radio during the 2023 abu dhabi practice session

a tweet from carlos after the 2023 spa gp that said "not what we wanted today. racing incident, but oscar was too optimistic. he was never side by side and that move has never really worked in spa" (ps. they both dnf'd here after crashing into eachother)

oscar saying "mate, is carlos blind or what?" during practice at the 2023 monza gp

carlos saying (in response to nearly running into oscar during monza practice) "its like hes doing it on purpose"

and well. the feud is still alive and well:

"he pushed me off the track!" carlos said on lap 35 when oscar had definitely not pushed him off the track.

"just tell him to give me a positon and he doesn’t get a panelty" carlos said a lap later. "tell mclaren to be telling him because they need to be telling him."

oscar did not give him the position back and instead got his elbows out.

meanwhile! back at the front lando was a whole tWO SECONDS AHEAD of max on lap 37 AND he had the fastest lap.

mclaren told oscar that ferrari wanted him to swap with carlos but they didnt agree and told oscar not to do anything. so oscar kept defending. and carlos continued to complain.

max, who was still 2 seconds behind lando, came on the radio saying "i can’t get the car to turn it’s a disaster” which was just “music to the ears of everyone at mclaren and charles leclerc” 

well. maybe not everyone at mclaren. because oscar was still battling with carlos. carlos tried to pass him on lap 39 but failed. then he did pass, oscar passed him back and then carlos went to pass him Again, but failed and they touched eachother. Hamilton and perez managed to pass oscar before it was revealed on lap 41 that oscar had front wing damage and needed to box for a replacement.

CARLOS TWEET

and also during this time, kevin managed to get another penalty for not serving his previous penalty correctly.

lando was 3.1 seconds ahead of max

lap 42. lewis was challenging perez for fifth. "if youve got any more power give it to me!" he shouted into his radio, .5 seconds behind perez.

oscar had a truly abysmal pit stop and came out in 19th.

lap 43. lando was 3.8 seconds ahead of max.

alpine was somehow in the points with esteban ocon in 9th.

matin and crofty were discussing kevin and his infinity gauntlet of penalties.

“kevin magnussen must have his own seat up in the stewards office he’s been up there so often” said martin.

“i’m astounded that kevin as a different penalty for something he didn’t already have a penalty for," crofty said, agreeing with martin.

they were studiously ignoring lando, very not wanting to jinx him as he was 4.7 seconds ahead of max.

k mags got another penalty. this time for entering the pit lane. lance stroll got a track limited warning. lando was 5.2 seconds ahead

ten laps to go.

lap 48. fernando was fighting with esteban ocon for 9th. oscar was up to 17th with the fastest lap.

lap 49. the camera panned to the mclaren garage. everyone looked stressed to hell.

lap 50. lando was 5.6 seconds ahead of max. the commentators were scared to find him even more now. somewhere in the world, nico rosberg was loosing his god damned mind.

lap 51. lando was 5.8 seconds ahead. oscar was fighting daniel for 16th

lap 52. oscars race engineer reminded him that "lando is leading the race we do not want to cause a safety car here." lando was 6 seconds ahead of max. lance stroll went off the track and gained two positions.

five laps to go.

lap 53. hamilton was still railing the back of perez. ocon was holding onto 10th.

lap 54. alex albon locked up. yellow flag. everyone held their breath and prayed for no safety car. but he went into the runoff area. there was no safety car. alex rejoined the track in p19.

three laps to go.

lap 55. oscar passed daniel for 15th. lando was seven seconds ahead of max.

lap 56. this would be the first time mclaren had won in America since 2012 with lewis hamilton in austin, tx. their last win basin 2021 with danny rics in monza. lando was 7.3 seconds ahead of max.

last lap.

lap 57. everyone was screaming. i was on the edge of my seat. we waited with baited breath. through the corners, hurtling down the straights. around the last bend. across the finish line.

LANDO NORRIS WINS THE MIAMI 2024 GRAND PRIX

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it was insane! it was astounding! holy shit! he had fucking won!

and that was seemingly every other drivers thought process because seemingly everyone came up to lando to congratulate him.

immediately max and charles gave him a hug.

fernando ran over and smacked his helmet in excitement

carlos came over

followed by danny rics and george

lewis and others congratulated him later on

he stage dived his team

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and charles and max absolutely soaked him on the podium

famously, lando said a few years ago (jokingly) that nico rosberg retired after his first championship im going to reture after my first win (he is not going to). but he also said a bit less jokingly that if he won he would jump in the lake outside of the mclaren technology center. and he has not done that yet. shame on you lando.

now a little interlude on max and charles here. the miami race weekend was the 12 year anniversary of their "inchident" from karting (you know the one) and tbh, the funniest thing that could have possibly happened this weekend was for both of them to be on the podium, but not win.

and ive talked about the Maxplaining and Leclercifying that has happened before, but they took their yapping to a whole new level now that the cameras weren't really on them.

YAP PICS

max also chose violence in the cool down room. upon being shown the footage of the logan crash he said "at least they have a spare chassis now" and he was Positively Shocked at hoe close perez came to knocking him out in turn 1

max even waited for charles to finish his interview so that they could ride to the podium in the same car together (there were three cars, one for each of them). and yet.

they were also unhinged in the post race press conference. max first tried to sit in the middle (the winners seat) to keep yapping with charles and charles had to point to the other side of the couch and be like buddy no youre over there

the post race press conference was unhinged as all shit. lando said that he was going to party very very hard that night and he might not come out with just a scratch on his nose this time.

and by all accounts he did party quite hard afterwards. first, the day he won was cinco fucking de mayo in miami florida and after wards he posted a photo on his instagram at NINE AM LOCAL TIME (presumably when he was about to get on a flight) that just said "recovery 1%" with the caption "worth it" (later he said that he actually didnt wake up really until tuesday morning. man had an insane night)

and later on at the mclaren celebration back in england they did a toast for him and he said "ive had enough alcohol to be honest"

lando also said during the press conference that he really finds the lando no wins nickname funny, and seeing people call him that over the years gave him so much drive to win. he also said that he wanted to use the valtteri line "to whom it may concern, fuck you" while he was on the radio in his car, but that was "copyrighted"

max was asked if he thought that lando would have still won if there hadnt been a safety car. and if you watch one video on this whole damn post, let it please be this one:

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it was just. so nice to see him win. everyone was so happy to see him win. even fred vasseur, the ferrari team principal, was given a mclaren hat and a bottle of champagne to soak lando with:

not to mention that seemingly everyone went out with lando to party afterwards. there weren't too many videos that i could find of that, but from what i saw, pretty much everyone was there.

in everyones post race interviews they all seemed to really express that they were very very happy for lando. will buxton even went as far as to say “i haven’t seen max that happy all year and he’s usually winning”

george was asked in his interview "sorry to say, but you are no longer the last british race winner" and he absolutely clapped back with "thanks. thats a very negative way to say, 'how do you feel about lando winning the race?'" and then he later said "yeah obviously happy to see lando finally get a victory. its well deserved for him. hes been doing an amazing job for a long time so"

this was a common thread among the drivers (not taking peoples negative shit about it), because max also said "if i had to get beaten today im happy it was lando, he deserves it. he did a really good job, he was flying. so yeah. its always nice to see someone win his first grand prix. its always a special day."

and lewis as well said "massive congrats to lando. i won my first grand prix with mclaren, i know how special it is to get that first one, huge congratulations to him, he truly deserves it. and mclaren, wow, im really happy for them thats my old family."

even fred vasseur said "well i want to congratulate lando and mclaren i think that they deserve it and they did a great job and im happy for them"

carlos as well said "i think he deserves it for a long time now to win a race. hes a driver that for me is going to win many many races in f1 hes been driving at an exceptional level. today he was on the lucky side, as i said but i think luck comes to the people that deserve it. and today he definitely deserved to win."

and charles said "we all grew up with the same dream of being in formula 1 one say and its always emotional for me to see him obviously realizing one of his dreams and winning his first race in formula 1 its a very special moment for him."

and then danny rics said "yeah proud to see him get his first win obviously saw his talent and ability and yeah kinda felt like it was going to happen sooner or later. and yeah really happy for him to have a day like this"

and then, pretty much every person ever made a post or commented on his congratulating lando:

oscar piastri: "well done man" carlos sainz: "CONGRATS CABRON!" lewis hamilton:"WELL DONE" alex albon: "congrats!!!" george russell: "it was always whe, not if, mate. congrats you deserve it" max verstappen: "very happy for lando norris, congrats mate!" daniel ricciardo: "and not sure if he is still alive today but very happy for lando norris on his first win" fernando Alonso: "Bravoooooo" martin garrix: "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" max fewtrell: "So proud brother 🧡" pato oward: "GUEYYYY!!!!!! 🚀🚀" antonio giovinazzi: "Bravo Lando ! 🙌💪🏻" Heineken: "What a race!!! 👏👏👏" hollister: "🙌🔥👏 YOU DID THAT"

landos initial celebration post, by the way, was a bunch of funny and kind of terrible selfies of him with his trophy with the caption:

WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. P1 🏆

a few days later, when he was no longer hungover he made an instagram story that said

"genuinely had the most insane couple days of my life. still dont know what to say but this was a dream since i was a kid. i literally havent stopped smiling since lap 33. so much hard work to achieve this and it all finally paid off the support from my team, the mclaren papaya fans, other drivers and so so many more. ive appreciated every single bit of it. love you all. and after all this...were just getting started... and yes...still smiling"

lewis hamiltons dad even texted landos dad congratulating him!

and interestingly enough, they interviewed lando's race engineer, will. who said that the upgrade "package should favor other circuits more than miami."

so do we actually have a proper championship battle on our hands? will it just be a max sweep from here on out? whos to say. we dont know.

but what we do know, according to martin brundle, is that "the secret to beating max verstappen is injuring yourself right before the race: "we realize now the secret to beating max verstappen, remove an appendix, do an injury to your nose, some sort of operation or injury is the way now to beat max verstappen in formula 1."

and most heartwarmingly, nico rosberg seemingly predicted this. if you all recall, two weeks ago at the chinese gp, he told lando this:

"we have a race the two of us because youre at 109 and i won then i was at 111 (races) my first race so were close. your time is coming. maybe next race cause you got upgrades coming in miami! so it could be good."

and then lando won his 110th, beating nico out by one race and jenson button by four. and both of them are world champions. nico finally figured out how to use his witchcraft for good.

will buxton wrote an article for f1 about the phenomenon of lando no wins and he concluded it with this:

The universal outpouring of joy in his victory tells you another side to him. Its rare in the highly competitive world of Formula 1 to make many true friends. To a man, I can’t think of a driver who wasn’t delighted for him in Miami. I haven’t seen Max Verstappen as happy all year, and he’s won pretty much everything. That affection is real. The friendships are true. And as he brought his car to the pits, after acknowledging those who try to drag him down, he spoke words for the truly private man. For his parents and his grandmother. The part of his life he keeps closest and most guarded. For his entire Formula 1 career, he’s had to be what people expect of him. Carry the weight of manifesting the legend of the version of himself he’d always portrayed himself as being. As he grew from teenager into adulthood, an ever growing fanbase of millions expected him perhaps never to change and to always stay the same. On Sunday he received the only reply he’s ever sought. Validation. A Grand Prix winner. Just as he always knew he would and could be. What stands before him now is a level of freedom he has never known, to truly embrace the destiny that stands before him. Beyond the memes, the engagement, the lifetime lived in the spotlight of social media stardom, the witty quips and the potential to be the perfect media personality, there has always existed the hunger of the competitor. The desire to be the best. To win it all. The posts, the stories, the reels. They can write themselves now. The man, not the meme. Lando “No Wins,” no more.

thanks for reading and waiting for the update of this monstrosity. thank you for continuing to read this insane post. ill see you all in imola! o7

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

[yo9urt]

grrr

[queerlynx]

.

[its-ya-boi-autumn]

Omg omg omg i love ur writing its just amazinngg. I was wondering like maybe a continuation of ur story where chrollo's s/o gets preggo. But its like 10 yrs later n chrollo comes to visit n he sees his kid and he looks EXACTLY like him. Even better if his ex s/o is dating someone else who helped raise the kid and the kid calls them dad n chrollo gets jealous. Its totally cool if u dont wanna do it, i still love u xx

Wooooo what a doozy 😂😂 sure baby I gotchu~ (I know I already used this gif before but the absolute despair fits it kind of)

10 years. It had been 10 years since he'd seen you. He knew when you were having your child, Adeline. He knew he couldn't make it to the hospital. He was in a different country at the time, on a job he had planned for a while. He couldn't go out of his way to see you either. Too much was going on, what with Hisoka coming back to life after their fight, killing his companions, and then hunting him. Chrollo had no time to see you and it broke him. He was desperate to see you, and now, he had the chance.

The troupe had gone out in their own jobs for the month and he was left alone to his own business, able to move freely in schedule to see you. He'd been ready to meet Adeline forever, honestly afraid of what she'd think of him. What had you told her? What stories had you come up with to keep him safe, if you even bothered to do so? Would he show up and his own daughter have hatred for him? Would she shut him out immediately? He never thought this day would come, that these thoughts would ever bother him, but now, they did.

He didn't know if he was ready.

The drive there was a long one, you had agreed to meet up with him at your new house a few towns away since that was what Chrollo thought was safest for you. Away from him. Away from everyone. Surprisingly, no traffic had delayed him, and for that he was born grateful and resentful. He didn't know what he'd even say to you, or to Adeline.

"Turn left, your destination will be on the right." the mechanical voice of the GPS lulled him out of his thoughts, forcing him back into reality. He flicked on his turn signal, turning left and onto your street. Your house was the very first one in the right.

He pulled into the driveway, parking in it and getting out. He tried to look decent, sporting his usual jeans and a t shirt he found in a store somewhere off in town. His breathing sped up and his heart raced. He was about to see you again. His heart managed to swell, though it didn't show on his face.

He rapped at the door and almost immediately, his world shattered. A tall man with blonde curly locks and oceanic blue eyes stared back at him, his chest puffed out for dominance. Chrollo wasn't afraid of him, though the sight filled him with agony. You'd found another.

He figured this would happen. No, he knew this would happen. However ready he thought he'd be though, he was still unprepared.

"Hey, you Chrollo?" the man asked, his voice deep, resonating in his chest.

"I am." Chrollo spoke with a confidence that threw the man off. His eyes widened.

"Y/N! Your ex is here!" the guy boomed down the living room. Your small figure came rushing forward, but slowed once you were in sight of the new guy. Your eyes fell onto Chrollo. His eyes met yours. You were just as gorgeous as he'd left you. Sparkling in jewels and finery. The necklace he stole for your 21st birthday still dangling around your neck.

"Hello, nice to see you again..." you sounded so small. Delicate. Chrollo's hands fell into his pockets, smiling at you.

"Same to you." he smiled with his whole face. He missed you. Your arms crossed over your chest to soothe yourself from something. Your new boyfriend didn't leave the door.

"Honey you can move..." you spoke up to him. He didn't take his eyes off of Chrollo, wary of something.

"Yeah. Sorry about that..." he faked an apology for your sake, turning to the dining room. Chrollo couldn't take his eyes off of you. He couldn't help it. You were just so beautiful, standing before him like you were before. Memories of you leaving, screaming at him not to make you go, flooded his brain. They pained him. He could have kept you. He could have still been with you. There was too much to think about now, too much to remember. You were here. In front of him.

You returned his smiled kindly.

"Come in, we're just watching some shows and Dan is cooking dinner." you offered, moving to the side so Chrollo could enter. He bowed in kind, a gesture he hadn't done in a while. His foot steps felt unsteady as he entered your home, his breathing even more labored. This Dan guy was seen in the kitchen, stirring something in a pot. Thumping could be heard upstairs. Adeline must of been running around.

"Can I see her?" he asked finally. You stopped in your tracks of shutting the door. You looked at him.

"Uh... Yeah. Yeah you can..."

"Does she know who I am?"

You didn't answer. He suspected that the answer was no. His heart sank a little again. He had hoped that you would have at least tips the little girl who her real father was.

"Adeline! Come see Chrollo!" you yelled up the stairs, crossing your arms again to soothe yourself. More footsteps thundered down the stairs as a chubby young girl huffed her way down. When Chrollo laid eyes on her, he swelled. She looked just like him.

Black hair pulled back into a ponytail, a small, pale face with full lips and a structured nose. And the eyes. Gunpowder grey, just like his. Adeline stared back at him.

"Hello Mr. Chrollo!" she waved at him. He raised his hand in greeting.

"Hello Adeline." he replied, keeping his voice low to stray from cracking. The little girl smiled up at him, running over to Dan in the kitchen.

"Daddy, Chrollo is here!" she yelped excitedly, jumping around him.

"I know Adeline, why don't you go sure with your mother for a while." Dan replied harshly, Adeline recoiling slightly. The word "daddy" coming out of her mouth, directed at a man that was not in fact her father. It hurt. You must have noticed it, because a hand rested on his shoulder gently.

"I'm sorry, I do plan to tell her. She's just so young right now. I didn't want to confuse her." you admitted. Chrollo understood, but that didn't dull the pain any less when Adeline came rushing back over to him, holding her arms out.

"I know this is awkward and that we just met, but can I have a hug Mr. Chrollo?" she asked, raising her arms a little. Dan stopped slicing whatever he was cutting and set his knife down.

"Adeline, what did I tell you-"

"She's fine." you asserted yourself quickly, shaking lightly in your finger tips. The tone of the room shifted, thought Adeline didn't seem to take notice. Her hands closed and opened adorably. Chrollo smiled.

"Sure sweetheart." He kneeled down and opened his arms. Adeline gasped excitedly and jumped onto him. Chrollo huffed at her weight. What were you feeding her? He laughed nonetheless, squeezing Adeline tightly but not too hard to hurt her.

Dan seemed enraged by this, bothered that this new man was in his house, hugging his daughter. This in and of itself prided Chrollo with the fact that Adeline looked just like him. This big grey eyes happy as could be.

(I had no idea how to end this and when it posted itself it literally wasn't even finished so I added the last few sentences, anyway, hope you enjoy~

[beautifuldarkmind]

tw // s*lf harm, su*cidal ideation (sorry)

Hey, it’s the creepy NHS anon here.

Thank you for responding to my ask! I’m sorry you had such a rough time getting a diagnosis. You shouldn’t have had to go through all of that. Honestly it sucks that the NHS is so reluctant to diagnose anything mental health related.

When I was 14 I thought I had depression and anxiety. I finally convinced my mum to take me to the doctors when I was 16. The doctor was super nice. She tested my thyroid function just to make sure nothing else was causing my feelings, then referred me to CAMHS. That was…an interesting experience. I remember asking my counsellor to diagnose me, but then at the next session she said she couldn’t, that it “wouldn’t be helpful” because I was still growing. Now that I think about it, one of the days I was at school and during a class I was furious for some reason. I even said to a classmate that I was willing to fight anyone who got in my way. Despite my mum disagreeing with me, I cancelled my appointment that day. (My mum was worried they’d stop my sessions all together if I cancelled, but they didn’t.)

Fast toward to recent years and I’ve been on and off attempting to get a diagnosis. Last year (so when I was about 18) I asked to be referred to the autism clinic, and thankfully the GP accepted, but the clinic is still closed and even when it’s open I’ll still have to wait, possibly several years. Then I made another appointment (different GP) to be referred to a psychiatrist. She refused, saying that GPs are trained to deal with mental health issues. I brought up OCD, so she asked where I got my information from. When I told her I researched it online, she just brushed it off and then did the typical depression/anxiety test and she said both were severe, then said “take some drugs” (which is didn’t because I didn’t trust taking drugs prescribed by someone who did a 3 minute yes/no type quiz without actually fully exploring my issues).

I spoke to a different GP just over a month ago to get a fit note for my Universal Credit. It was supposed to just be to make adjustments to what I was supposed to do, but he didn’t ask what the note was for, so he marked unfit for work. Which is great because that’s secretly what I wanted but feared being judged by people around me for thinking I needed that (particularly my parents). I mentioned that I thought I could have OCD and CPTSD, and he didn’t deny it but he simply said CBT helps for both. He then asked if I was currently doing CBT and I said I’d done it before but I quit. (That’s a whole other story but tldr I really don’t think it was for me, or at least the “therapist” wasn’t.) He said he would send a self referral link.

Fast forward to a few days ago and I had another appointment with him to discuss my fit note (because it only lasts for a month and you have to go back to renew it, which sucks). He asked if I had referred myself to CBT and I said I hadn’t yet because I didn’t want to, and he said “please do that for me” in a somewhat stern voice. I then brought up BPD and I think he said he would refer me? Honestly I was a bit overwhelmed because he called 40 mins early and I was in the car with my dad, so I was super weary of him asking questions about what I was saying to the doctor (but he didn’t). He then brought up PD support groups, which I’m considering doing, but you have to call up the place and I literally hate phone calls. Oh, speaking of which, all the appointments from the autism one onwards were all on the phone, so not only was I struggling to process what they were saying to me most of the time, but I was also so anxious that I couldn’t articulate my feelings properly. :)

Anyways, I am 20 now, which I only mention because I feel the same as what you mentioned. My brother is married, my childhood crush is married, my friend who I introduced to my friend group who then proceeded to discard me is getting married. Everyone seems to know exactly what they’re doing. They all have friends. But not me. I haven’t had friends since I was 14, and even then I don’t think that friend group was entirely wholesome. They made me feel like an outcast, like I was weird, that I needed to be more like them and not be like me. Which has probably contributed to me having a very vague sense of identity. And I feel like I’m still 14 and yet everyone is expecting me to behave like an adult. I’m supposed to know what I’m doing with my life even tho I literally cried in the shop when I was pressured to choose between 2 pizzas.

I have no support system. My own parents seem very dismissive of my problems, equating everything to social anxiety. When I’m stressed out of mind to the point of feeling suicidal, my parents say “that’s just life”, which…well, feeds into the feelings. For years I’ve felt stressed. Then if I’m not stressed I feel absolutely nothing. And if I’m not feeling empty I am angry, sometimes for no reason. And if I’m not angry, I am curled in a ball trying to bottle up the urge to self harm and batting away suicidal thoughts.

It’s like I have a huge chain pulling me down underwater and everyone else is in the beach drinking cocktails or something. Sometimes I thrash and try to get people to notice, but people think I’m just having fun. Other days I just feel like letting the chain pull me down.

Please forgive me for rambling and probably not having a very consistent train of thought in this post. I have a tendency to blab on about my “problems” (if they even are that), I guess as a way to connect? Idk. This post makes no sense.

I hope you’re having a good day. <3

- 🌸✨ (in case I send another ask again, but I’ll try not to because I don’t wanna bother you)

So sorry you're going through something similar. My GP sounded exactly how yours was, the typical anxiety/depression test and then just throwing those at you.. they dont seem to be trained in diagnosing and they dont want to hear anything more either. It's honestly almost impossible getting a diagnosis through them, the system here is really messed up... its just disappointing and seems to be failing so many people including you.

It does sound like you're going through a hard time, it's not nice especially when you feel a loss of self identity, you dont even know who you are and just feel lost in life. I think that was definitely the main point of realising something was up.. I had a VERY distorted view of myself and others around me and that was why I'd often self sabotage everything and then I'd feel so empty and angry at the world and just explode...

If you can go privately then do so, therapists are not able to diagnose and they will usually tell you 'we don't like to label' but even without a diagnosis you can still see if you can access DBT therapy. Amazon also has lots of DBT workbooks that I've used and its helped me to really understand myself!

If you often feel invalidated by your parents then that is known to cause BPD or borderline traits, especially if you've been suffering with mental illness in childhood and they tried to claim that it was nothing....you mentioned anxiety and I was told the approach my parents may have took to my severe anxiety is what brought on many of my symptoms of BPD. You start to feel ashamed of yourself for feeling that way because your caregivers make it seem like the issue isnt important and you feel as if your feelings dont matter also because that is how you have been made to feel.

I'm not saying this is definitely the cause but in my case I was told that the constant feeling of invalidation may be why I have such a warped idea of myself and why I cannot regulate my emotions. I was never told HOW to regulate or shown how to, just told to ignore my emotions and now I dont know how to deal with them😀

but yeah I'd really recommend taking a look at some of those dbt books online or reading more into it so you have a better understanding of yourself. You've already taken the first step and that's identifying that something may be wrong so you are self aware and clearly want to change for the better 💕

I hope everything works out for you, it's not nice feeling this way but you've got this 🥺🙌

[cruelfeline]

can I just flop into your inbox and despair for a hot second about how like. bewildered I am over the lore of spop??? I thought about doing this as proper asks but then it got... long.

Sure! Anyone can flop into my inbox c:

idk if it's me and I'm just dumb and not getting it?? I've gotta go back and comb through the show I guess bc the wiki and google and the internet at large are the opposite of helpful.

but no okay the show kept saying that the first ones were basically - etheria's first settlers or whatever the hell right?? something along those lines? am I remembering this correctly? that's why the etherian's CALL them the first ones? (I mean but Prime did too didnt he now that I think about it. I'm not sure why he would though, the context for why the etherian's would use the term and why he'd use the term are different?) ugh whatever, like I said I gotta go back and comb through but I wanna say that the implication was that the first ones were the...First Ones to be on etheria. which is like....??

Mm... it’s a bit unclear, but Mara speaks in a way that highly implies that there are native Etherians already on Etheria when the First Ones arrive. One of them being Razz. 

I doubt that Etherians really know much about their own history; their records seem sporadic to me, so they may or may not know that the First Ones weren’t actually the first sapients on the planet.

And Prime doesn’t really call them the First Ones; he simply acknowledges that that is what Adora and the Etherians call them. I don’t recall him calling them anything specific.

bc then when it comes to the whole, heart of etheria thing, and the runestones, and all of that? and then the princesses? I'm honestly just so confused as to how it all is supposed to fit together. bc then uh where did the five royal families come from to begin with? were the runestones there from the start? were those five families magically connected with those runestones from the start or were they only connected and whatnot after the first ones were all like "hey so uh, if you synch up to this rock you can do cooler magic" but then if etheria was already being ruled by several different courts of elemental royalty or wtf ever, then they couldnt really call themselves the first ones. but Also it's just (and I think you've addressed that the showrunners seem So Much More Interested in telling the catradora gf drama angst saga then fleshing out their world building lmao) it's kinda just like... why do all of these families only have one child? why do each of the princesses of power not have a sibling? like what if - considering mooooost of them seem to be orphans lol - one of them trips down the stairs and smacks their head on the floor and dies?? I guess uhhh, now your kingdom doesn't have a ruler??

So, my understanding of the runestones is that they were devices created by the First Ones in order to enhance and better control the magic of those naturally in tune with certain elemental aspects of the planet. I don’t think this is explicitly stated in canon, but I assume as much by extrapolating from the purpose of She-Ra’s sword. As we learn over the course of the show, the First Ones did not create She-Ra, but they did create the sword. She-Ra is an Etherian entity, some form of planetary guardian or what-have-you, and the First Ones created the runestone sword in order to control that entity and incorporate it into the Heart of Etheria. I would assume that the other runestones serve a similar purpose.

Now, as far as our current Etherians not knowing this: this is a fairly common sci-fi trope. The idea of the original purpose of something (usually some form of advanced tech) being lost as information is lost to the ages is often used to facilitate protagonists not immediately knowing what a thing is for. Like... oh, if you’ve ever read the Dragonriders of Pern series. That’s a good example: Earth colonists land on a planet, find it inhospitable, genetically engineer empathetic dragons to help fight the threat, and... well, people live there for generations, forget their origins, regress technologically, and just assume that there have always been dragons on Pern.

As far as single child Princesses and whatnot: likely a by-product of the show already having a million characters, and siblings not being needed for the plot! I mean, the show already had enough to deal with; no need to add more fluff.

and yeah it's a kids show but it doesnt ;__; none of the any of it makes sense to me.

what is the Heart of Etheria even supposed to Do again??? like we know it's a superweapon that channels magic and like, Mara trapped etheria in despondos 1000 years ago so my soft theory is that the first ones were maybe using it as a last ditch effort against Prime? I mean is the sword just.... gps coordinated to fire at prime regardless of where he is in the universe or whatever?? bc I mean at that point is prime on etheria's doorstep?? I don't! I dont understaaaand.

Well, since it never fires, we cannot know for certain, but Death Star-style planetary destroyer seems logical. 

I do like the headcanon that it was actually a last ditch effort to defeat Prime, especially since we now know that the First Ones fought him and apparently lost!

This is an interesting concept to me because, while their colonization of Etheria is widely regarded as Bad, because colonialism is Bad, the idea that they did it in order to try to save their own lives, and potentially the lives of others in the universe, makes the situation far more morally grey than it might initially appear. Yes, their colonization harmed the Etherians, but might it have been worth it, if they had succeeded and killed Prime a thousand years ago? Would that have prevented the genocides he committed on other worlds? Would sacrificing Etheria have been worth it if, say, a thousand other inhabited planets had been spared as a result? Not a set of questions the show asks, but meaningful ones, in my opinion.

why does Prime want it? like is he not under the impression that messing with it is gonna like... pretty much blow up everything within a big ass huge af radius? he said something or other about purifying the universe and starting over or some nonsense like that but??? like you'd be dead too my guy. you might be egotistical and narcissistic and vain af but I dont think he's that stupid as to think he's somehow immune to giant fricken explosions.

Oh, I think he has some idea of how to survive it. He can body hop. He is, in some sense of the word, eternal because of that. If She-Ra hadn’t stepped in, he likely would have succeeded in continuing his existence. The way he speaks, one may even infer that this sort of thing has happened before.

But, hard to say! Thankfully, we don’t have to find out c:

and I'm just. I just wanna know more about the spop world at large you know?? like. I just want All the world building and backstory and explanations to things. I have so many questions.

anyway sorry for kinda dumping this giant wall of shrieking nonsense in your inbox I'm just like. I dont... I dont get it. I dont get any of it lmao and I wanna get it! like the whole universe of this show could be so cool and so fun and interesting but it's like... some of the pieces dont seem to.. f i t

yeah

Ah, such is the burden of a world that has only enough worldbuilding done to facilitate its story, no more and no less. But! At the same time, this means that we as viewers can infer many things from canon and fill in the blanks with whatever we prefer. Leading to a lovely variety of fandom content to amuse us for some time to come c:

[naturalbornlesbian7]

In a few months from now, say in november, I wanna read this post and proudly claim that I am in a much better situation right now and I have made a huge progress.

I am wondering what does it feel like to not be a slave in a golden cage? I am wondering if I ever be able to be free? I wish I was my own, but I belong to other authorities in my life. I have never been able to control my life which is kinda natural since this is how it is when you are younger and this is how many of my friends feel to a certain extent.

But I still long for being free, I know right now its more possible than ever cause I am over 18. But its still hard and its gonna take a lot of effort....I know I am the only one to blame and I am the only one responsible for my current situation. I gotta stop complaining and keep trying until I am free. Noone will walk this path for me. I should do my best to set myself free. I dont think I could take it anymore.

It's hard to be dependent on someone,its one of the worst feelings ever. My life is on hold and I can't do anything until I become independent. I keep hearing my friends complaining about being dependent on their parents: one of my friend's mom stalks her through gps on her phone and she makes her turn her geolocation wherever she goes (and this friend lives and studies in another country), my other friend's dad told her he won't stop controling her until she marries a man, and then he will stop telling her what to do and will let her go (she lives with her family and she is 23), and I have a lot of friends like that. I think this is the main problem for our generation: how to get money and move far away from your family and never see them again. This is one of my priorities right now. I just wish I could be myself and do what I wanna do. But I feel like my burden doubles, cause unlike my friends, I am a lesbian. A closeted lesbian.

What kind of life is that??? When you can't choose what to do? Its not a life...It's a burden.

I want to be able to buy a ticket and go wherever I please, I want to be able to hang out with people without telling a very detailed information about them to my dad so that he can check on them on social media. I want to be able to post WHATEVER I want in instagram without my dad telling me that I post something too inappropriate...I want to share my thoughts on my insta,I wanna run a blog as I used to. I used to enjoy it so much and now all of my followers are gone,I had to stop because of my dad. God damn it, I can't even block my family on insta cause they gonna find out and freak out.

I only wanna be a free person with rights. I wanna eat what I want, and do what I want as long as I want. I wanna be able to log out of social media at least for a few days without worrying that my dad messages me and he ALWAYS wants an immediate response or else he will freak out, if I dont respond in 10- 30 minutes. I want to be able to live this life without guilt and paranoia of being stalked by my family. I already have had many times when they hacked my social media accounts and twisted all the information about me or my friends and made me feel guilty although I am literally the angel child comparing to others...I have never drunk or gone to parties. I don't smoke nor do other bad stuff. I am always busy educating myself and self improving and studying. I have never dated nor expressed desire to do so in front of anyone (well this one is bc I am a lesbian) And all my friends are like that mostly, in their teens/younger years they are focused on education and never do what they show in teen movies on netflix..Noone from my circle is like that. And yet they keep judging me and painting me or my friends as bad children sometimes. I just dont understand what else do they want from me, I will always be not enough for them.

And I dont want to be enough for them I just dont want us to coexist in the same dimension, I truly love my family and I wish all the best for them. But I dont want to be in their lives. My dream has always been to live without them, I dont even wanna visit them on and off. I just wanna be myself. I am not even mentioning that my life as a lesbian is also put on hold and god knows when I will be able to have lesbian friends in real life, let alone a girlfriend.

And the fact that I live far away from my family,in a different country doesnt help a bit.

Don't I deserve to have my own personal space after all without worrying of being disrupted?😩😞 I just want to be myself. I wanna have basic rights. I am so freaking anxious when I have to talk to them. I know I got lucky with my family, they do everything for my education and health and wellbeing. I am greatful and I cant complain here. But I still dont wanna keep on living like that😪I just want to do what I want.

[finding-the-daylight]

So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction): 

1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish. 

2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.

5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.

6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.

That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:

Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.

THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?

I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao. 

I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.

THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR

NVM ITS GONE

WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.

Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though. 

I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?

Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.

The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?

Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.

I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW. 

Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.

THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO. 

Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase. 

ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE. 

SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.

NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.

Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.

INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.

SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.

this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ? 

omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.

exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH

edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie

I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.

THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.

I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.

ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.

jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie

why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.

i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need? 

why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?

jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.

how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.

why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.

these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out

i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo

fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me

i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess

belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris

THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.

why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.

CHARLIES DESEVRS  BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO

reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue

he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone 

 he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward

EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT  LOVE LIK THST 

LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING. 

im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru

i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou. 

WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR

edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.

wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win

MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED

now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this

jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better

now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese

mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake

this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall  like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war

victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch

og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc

i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree

oshit is the volutire 

SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE

CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL

I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN

JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES

I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO

 I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE

THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE

poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself

WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY

KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE

fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough

that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love

[hockeytrashgoblin]

High ~Part 10

A/N: This one is a long boi. Lots happens lol enjoy

"Babe? Some of the guys are going to be coming over later today if that's okay?"

"Yeah of course, love. They're always welcome."

"I just wanted to make sure."

"Why-oh! Auston's coming too right?"

"Yeah he is. He was whining that I only ever went to his house. I don't want you to be uncomfortable though."

"I'll just go out. I've got to do a bit of baby shopping anyway. I'll take Gray too. When are you expecting them?"

"In a bit. Like maybe 15 minutes before they start getting here?"

"Okay we'll go now then. Do you need anything while we're out?"

"Maybe some snacks? Sooooomebody ate all mine."

"Hey no fair I'm pregnant. I'm starving all the time." I pouted as he hugged me.

"Here I thought the big new kitchen would have enough food for us all."

"It doooes. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry baby. I don't really mind at all." He gave me a kiss before Gray started pulling my leg.

"Mommy I want to play."

"No baby we're going to the store now. Daddy's friends are coming over."

"I wanna stay." He pouted. I was so amazed at my little guy. Once he figured out words it was so fast to him talking in full sentences. He was one and a half now and on track to be fully understanding and talking by two. Much like me as a child. He was really smart.

"You can't stay, love. We'll be back soon and uncle Willy will be here to play with. Maybe uncle Freddie too." Mitch nodded to him and he finally agreed to go with me. We got to the store with little trouble and only one tantrum. 

"Do you want to pick out something for the babies Gray?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay buddy-boop, whatcha wanna get?"

"Hats!"

"That's a good idea. It'll still be pretty cold when they get here. What ones do you want to get?"

"The blue bears!"

"You're sure you want the blue ones?"

"Yeah! Blue like daddy."

"Okay sweet boy, blue it is."

I tried to stretch out the shopping as long as I could but I had a cranky toddler who needed a nap and would only sleep in his bed right now. A phase I didn't appreciate. I got to the house quickly thanks to GPS. I still didn't always remember how to get to the new house fast. I took Gray out of his car seat and just brought him inside without thinking. He had been screaming for 20 minutes and I just wanted him to nap. I didn't take into consideration that there were hockey players all over the living room that I had to walk through to get to the stairs to his bedroom. Including Auston who had still never even seen his son except in pictures from Mitch's insta but there wasn't very many on there. I didn't realize until everyone was staring at me and the boy.

"Hey guys sorry to interrupt." I just kept walking through.

"Mommy I wanna play with uncle Willie."

"After your nap Gray. Right now you need to sleep."

After I put him down for his nap I sat outside his door and cried. Mitch came up to check on me and he sat down next to me rubbing my back.

"I can't believe I was just so stupid. I brought Grayson right through in front of Auston. He's never seen him in person Mitch. I was just so tired of listening to a screaming sleepy baby that I brought him in."

"You're not stupid. This is your house and that's our son. If he didn't want to risk seeing him he could've just stayed home."

"I didn't want him to see him. He doesn't want to see him, hes going to think I did it on purpose."

"He won't." He brushed the hair our of my face and gave me a gentle kiss. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm just frustrated. Probably hormones are playing a role too. Its dumb I'm sorry."

"Don't be baby. Do you want to come down and hangout with us?"

"No I think I'm going to have a nap."

"Okay you can come down anytime you want. Love you, have a good nap."

"Love you."

I ended up sleeping for about 30 minutes. I woke up to Gray jumping on me.

"Baby, why are you jumping? How did you get out of your crib?"

"I climbed. I wanted to be with you mommy."

"Aww my sweet boy come here." I lifted up the comforter and he crawled in cuddling up with me. "We'll have to get you a big boy bed soon."

"Okay."

"Go back to sleep for a little bit okay Gray?"

"Okay mommy. Goodnight."

"I love you."

"Love you."

I stayed awake for a while just soothing my baby and getting him back to sleep. Eventually I fell asleep too. I was woken up a little while later by Mitch.

"Morning sleeping beauty."

"Hi love, how long have I been out? Where's Gray?"

"Probably around 2 hours? He had been asleep to long so I woke him up and brought him downstairs. Auston already left with Morgan and Zach."

"Sorry I've been sleeping so much. I'm just so tired all the time."

"I know, it's okay. Your body is working hard to make two healthy babies."

"Yeah that's true." I said feeling my belly.

"I can't believe you're showing so much already. It took you so long to show with Grayson. Are you feeling them yet?"

"Yeah but it's just light. You won't be able to feel it yet."

"Damn it."

"Sorry baby."

"Says sorry as if it's her fault." He said rolling his eyes. "Come on let's go back downstairs and see the guys."

"Okay." I gave him a kiss before we made our way back down. "Hey guys!"

"Well look who could finally be bothered to come see me." William said sarcastically giving me a hug.

"I'm sorryyy. The twins have me so fucking tired all the time."

"Hows everything going?" Freddie asked from the floor building blocks with Gray.

"Its all going good. The babies are a little on the small side but they're healthy so it's okay."

"That's good I'm glad to hear it." He said with a small but genuine smile.

"Thanks I'm glad too."

"Do you know what you're having yet? Marns said you were finding out this time."

"We don't know yet." I saw Freddie get out his phone but I didn't really think much of it until Will spoke up.

"No you don't but I do." William said with laughter in his voice.

"What?! You know? They called?" I asked getting excited.

"Mhm."

"Well what are you waiting for tell me, tell me, tell me!"

"Mitch looks like he's gonna barf." Freddie laughed.

"Babe come here." I sat him down beside me. 

"How wild is it that I'm the only one who knows what you're having?"

"Willyyyy come on." I whined stomping my feet.

"Okay okay fine. Are you guys ready?"

"Yes for God sake!" Mitch said groaning.

"Okay so you're having another baby boy first off, and baby number two is a little girl."

"Oh my God!! Oh my God. Will for real?"

"Of course for real. I'm not about to lie." I ran up and hugged him and then went back to Mitch.

"Mitchie!!"

"Baby this is incredible. I'm so fucking happy." He held my face and gave me a kiss before lifting me into his arms and spinning me around. I started crying of course.

"Mitch this is so great. We get both."

"Stop crying you sweetheart, I'm going to cry." He kissed me again and wiped my eyes.

"Oh my God this is so awesome.. a little girl! And another boy! I'm so excited." I covered my eyes and started stomping my feet again in excitement.

"I'm so happy for you guys." Freddie said coming over and giving me a hug first then Mitch.

"Thank you Frederick. That means a lot." I said smiling wide.

"Thanks man." Mitch gave him a big hug.

"Cant believe you're going to have three kids soon. How do you feel man?"

"Excited. I'm so excited man. I can't believe I'm having two babies, let alone a boy and a girl. That's wild. Oh my God babe! We're having a girl!"

"I know lovey."

"God I'm not scary enough to have a daughter. Who's going to intimidate the guys trying to date her?"

"(Y/n)." William and Freddie said at the same time. Everyone laughed at the appalled look on Mitch's face. Even Grayson thought it was funny.

"Babe you've got a whole big bad team that can intimidate boys. Plus she's got two brothers. And you can be plenty scary when you want to be."

"Such a liar." Freddie said chuckling. "He literally got into a fight and hugged someone to the ground."

"Yeah but did I win though?" He asked getting worked up.

"Mitchie-"

"Babe no. Did I win though?"

"You did I guess in the broadest sense of the word." William said.

"No I won the fight. I didnt get hit and I got him to the ground. That's a win."

"If you say so."

"Ya know what? Fuck you guys."

"Fuck you guys." Gray repeated causing everyone to quiet down.

"Good going Marns." Freddie said trying to hold it together. William couldn't, he had to leave the room. I could still hear him laughing but I dont think Gray did. He did hear Mitch though.

"Fuck you." Grayson squealed laughing.

"Mitch cut it out." I said hitting the back of his head. He wouldn't stop at all and this is not what I wanted Grayson to start saying all the time and I felt a mad mood swing coming on. "Mitchell get out. Now."

"What?"

"Get. Out."

"Fine." He said scoffing at me and leaving.

"Grayson you come here." He came over and stood in front of me. "You don't say that anymore, you hear me?"

"Fuck you." He giggled but Freddie picked him up and sat him on his lap.

"Listen up bud. That's not a nice thing to say. It's mean."

"Daddy said it."

"Daddy was making a mean joke. You don't want to say mean things." I told him sternly.

"I want to say."

"Gray you listen to your mom. Who's the boss little man?"

"Mom's the boss."

"Right. So we're not gonna say that again right?"

"Right."

"If I hear that you're still saying it I'm gonna come back and we're gonna have to have a talk about listening to mom."

"Okay."

"Say sorry to your mom."

"I'm sorry mommy." He said coming over and giving me a hug.

"It's okay baby boy. I just don't want you saying those words. They're bad ones."

"I won't mommy."

"Good." 

The rest of the evening was spent with the guys. We all played out in the snow with Gray then we came inside and cooked dinner together. The night ended with us all watching spongebob with Grayson until he got tired. I put him up to bed and read him a story after saying bye to Willy and Fred.

All night Mitch had been off. I was worried about him and I was worried that it was my fault for yelling at him. I decided I'd have to talk to him but I wasn't sure he'd want to talk to me. I found him in our room sitting on the edge of the bed. I climbed in on my side and crawled over to him. I gave him a kiss on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay babes."

"You seemed upset and I just wanted to apologize. It wasn't your fault that he repeated things."

"Do you think I'm a bad dad?"

"What? Mitch no!"

"Really?"

"Oh course hun. You're such a good dad to Grayson."

"But I made him swear."

"Mitchie anyone could've done that. We've all been swearing around him."

"What if I'm a bad dad to the twins?"

"You won't be. Love, where is this all coming from?"

"Auston and Zach where saying some off hand comments. Jokes probably. Some of them just really stuck with me."

"What did they say?"

"Just that I wasn't doing a good job basically. Aus was making fun of me for Grayson crying when you brought him in because I'm not raising him right. Zach said I was too young and dumb to have kids. He said I'd fuck em up. That we were stupid to go through with having the twins because it'll make my career harder."

"Okay new rule. Ya know who isn't allowed to ever critique your parenting? Auston fucking Matthews. You literally adopted his son and have been taking care of him so well his whole life. Auston ran away from me and pretty much never spoke to me again. As for Zach, he can fucking bite me. You aren't a bad parent and you aren't going to fuck them up. Our twins are going to love you with just as much intensity as Grayson."

"Thank you (y/n). You always know just what to say."

"I don't know what impact it'll have on your career and I'm sorry I was so selfish as to not think of that."

"What? No dont apologize for that. I thought of that." He said rubbing my arm that was around him. "I thought a lot about that before I brought up having another baby. I don't see how it would effect my career negatively. Or really at all."

"Maybe they're thinking concentration and stuff?"

"I don't know but this whole season you've been pregnant and we've had Gray for a season and a half before this. I've played my best hockey this year."

"I know I'm so proud of you." I said kissing him.

"I just want to have a big happy family. And it's not like I'm leaving it just to you to raise them. I'm just as involved. And it's not like I'm ditching the guys either. I just don't get it."

"Don't get upset about it baby." I leaned back and brought him back so he was laying on my crossed legs. I started running my fingers through his hair. He sighed in content and closed his eyes. 

"It's just hard."

"Maybe they're just jealous."

"Why would they be?"

"Well I mean just look at you. You've got love, a beautiful family, twins on the way, you're playing better hockey than them, you have a house of your own. What's not to be jealous of?"

"I guess. I'm just really bothered that my best friends would say that kind of stuff about me. I love you guys so much and I just try so hard to show it every day."

"You do show it every day Mitch. You've shown it every day since we found out I was pregnant with Grayson. You're the most loving person I've ever met."

"I just want to do a good job."

"You do, you will. We can do it together."

"I love you so much."

"I love you Mitchie." The babies kept moving around as we were talking and I decided to try and distract him. "Hey love, do you want to see if you can feel the babies?"

"Are they kicking?" He asked excitedly turning over to face me.

"Yeah pretty hard actually."

"Where? Where are they kicking?"

"There's one down here. And the other is over here." I said moving each hand to the spots on my stomach.

"Alright babies kick me. I wanna feel it. I want to feel you move." He spoke to my belly and they started kicking.

"Do you feel it?"

"Shh I'm trying to concentrate."

"Pfft good luck." I said running my hand through his hair again laughing at the look he gave me.

"Stop moving."

"Sorry." I stopped and just sat quietly.

"Was that them?" He asked after a hard kick.

"I felt it over here for sure."

"Me too." He said smiling. "There's one of my babies. Finally. I didn't think they'd ever want me to feel them."

"Oh come on lovey, you knew they'd be felt eventually."

"Yeah I did. Come on other baby, get me." We stayed like that for a while waiting but he didn't feel it again which bummed him out.

"Mitchy it's okay you'll feel them both soon."

"I know I will. After Gray goes to bed I'm gonna sit here with you for hours just holding you and being kicked."

"Gonna take your baby bump naps again?" I asked wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Oh fuck yes. I loved those so much during the beginning of the season. I felt so close to you and Gray that way. It's the closest I could get connection wise since I can't feel them all the time."

"Awe babe, you can feel for them any time you'd like. And take your naps. You can do whatever you need to to feel connected to the babies."

"Can we pick out baby names?"

"What right now?"

"Yes why not? We already know the girl's gonna be Marly right?"

"Yeah I was thinking of giving her my mom's middle name Dawn too but I'm up for discussion on that."

"Marly Dawn Marner. I like it."

"Me too. Do you have any boy names in mind?"

"I don't know. I was kind of throwing around a few."

"Tell me."

"Okay these are just a few that I like. Andrew, Lucas, and Dexter."

"Aaww Dexter it so cute!"

"Yeah I liked it." He said with a shy smile while rubbing his neck.

"Don't do that. You look hot and I'm going to get so distracted."

"Oh my God whatever. Do you have any names?"

"I've been liking Toby. I also like Lucas. Josh, Kyle, Ethan too. I like Ethan."

"Those are cool."

"Now that you've said Dexter though I'm really liking Dexter."

"Well we've got time to decide still. We're only halfway there."

"You've got a point." I gave him a kiss before we laid down and he tried feeling for the babies some more.

[zanesgirlfriend]

Different Things | Scotty Sire x Reader x Kristen McAtee

Description: Scott and Kristen break up with the reader, but she has some very surprising news that Kristen doesn't like so much.

Requested?: yes by anonymous : Hey idk if you’d do polyamory or not, but could you do a Scott x reader x Kristen, where they break up with the reader, maybe because Kristen wants a baby or to get married, and then two months later reader realises she’s pregnant? But by that point they’ve already burned their bridges with her so it’s awkward?? Thanks for considering it, obviously it’s fine if you don’t want to write it

A/N: idk why i love writing about scott and kristen so much but i realllllyyyy enjoyed this!!

Warnings!!: This got incredibly negative and violent at the end and i dont wanna spoil it but the end is really fucked up and sad and i hope yall know thats not actually what i picture kristen to be like, i just think it was a cool twist, so please consider that as you read, thank you.

_____

Polyamory wasn't for everybody, which is exactly why they kept it from the fans. Scott, y/n, and Kristen did everything in their power to keep the fans from finding out. They double and triple checked videos, avoided PDA with y/n, kept tweets and Instagram comments strictly professional, and never posted pictures with her.

Sometimes she wished she was there first. It started as Scott and Kristen, and the fans could never think anything else. Y/n wanted so badly to just kiss one of her partners in public. To hug and hold hands and dance on her partners in somewhere other than Scott and Kristen's or David's house. She also never found it fair that she had to live in the little side house they had. She always just seemed like something added on to the relationship, never a true part of it.

However, she could never break up with them. They were all she had, and all she wanted.

Too bad they didn't feel the same way.

"Scott, I can't do this anymore, can you please just talk to her?" Kristen begged him for the hundreth time. He always loved Kristen more than y/n, and always did what she asked.

"Shouldn't we do it together? She is dating both of us." He knew he wasn't as good with words as Kristen was, and he couldn't bear to do it alone.

They ended up having their final threesome that night, two of them putting all of the attention on y/n, as they knew it would never happen again. They acted as if pleasing her sexually would absolve them of the guilt of breaking up with her. It made them feel better to pretend they were being generous before ripping away the only thing she cared about.

We just want different things.

She couldn't remember which one of them had said it, but it repeated over and over in her head as she cried herself to sleep.

She spent the next month and a half moving out, getting a dog, and getting her life together. She started hanging out with a different group of YouTubers and avoided all questions concerning the vlog squad. Y/n did whatever she could to not think about the happy couple. Well, until her she missed her period for the second time.

She thought it was just the flu at first, all the puking and hot flashes, and shortness of breath. But deep down she knew. Why did she even waste her money on 5 different types of pregnancy tests when she already knew the answer? Probably for her sanity. Some kind of peace of mind or assurance that she wasn't crazy. That her body wasn't just making it up to force her to think about Scott and Kristen.

She was pregnant, almost two months pregnant. With Scott's baby.

Fuck.

She hadn't seen or spoken to them since the end. She found it too awkward to even like their pictures on instagram, so how was she supposed to tell them?

Of course, she could just keep it a secret and become a single mommy vlogger and have play dates with Colleen Ballinger. But she had no idea how to raise a kid, let alone raise the kid by herself. Brand deals were good, but could she really afford to raise a child in LA?

We need to talk, can we meet somewhere?

Her messaged popped up on his phone, catching him off guard.

"What is it?" Kristen asked through FaceTime. She noticed his face change.

"I just got a weird text from Zane, it's nothing." He lied to his girlfriends face. He texted her back and she sent him the address to her apartment. He ended the conversation with Kristen quickly, pretending David needed him for a bit.

I'm on the way.

He responded and told his friends he had to go somewhere, slipping out virtually unnoticed. The drive to y/n's apartment was nerve wracking. What could she want? Did she want to get back together? Did she want to see him secretly on the side? A million scenarios passed through his mind as he followed the instructions of his GPS.

She was just as nervous, answering the door before he even had a chance to knock. Her puppy barked and wagged his tail at the new visitor. It was strange to think how someone she knew so well and for so long was just another random stranger to the dog.

They hugged awkwardly as she invited him inside. The positive pregnancy test was burning a hole in her back pocket as the pair sat on her couch.

"It's good to see you." His attempt at small talk was futile. They both just wanted to get straight to the point.

His ears seemed to stop working after the words left her mouth.

I'm pregnant. It's definitely yours.

She blabbered on about how she didn't want to force him or Kristen to help her, but that they needed to know. He was too busy trying to understand what she'd said.

"What?!" He laughed, his natural response was to assume that this was some sort of sick joke.

"We don't have to explain anything to the fans, we can just igno-" She blabbered on again, but he was still stuck. He interrupted her ramblings as he pulled out his phone and called Kristen.

"What's up, baby?" She asked, bright and happy and unsuspecting.

"Y/n is pregnant." His words didn't seem real as they left his mouth, and Kristen didn't understand it either. Her heart ached, but she needed to put on a brave face, for the the sake of her and Scott's relationship. She thought the entire drive to y/n's about what they should do.

They spent the next three hours catching up on life and figuring out the best options. It was too hard to keep it a secret.

"We need to film a video." Kristen suggested once everything was worked out. Y/n knew she was right, but wanted nothing else but to hide under the covers until the situation went away.

An Explaination.

The thumbnail was the three of them on the couch, holding hands and staring into the camera.

"Let's talk about polyamorous relationships." Kristen started. The other two stayed silent, only interjecting when they felt it was necessary. Y/n revealed the pregnancy, and Scott talked mostly about what the plan was when the baby was born.

The video was heavy, and the air around the trio felt thick. They'd planned everything out so quickly and filmed a video so suddenly, but there was still this awkward air around them. Y/n was having Scott's baby, and Kristen wasn't. How was Kristen supposed to deal with that? She made Scott break up with y/n so the two of them could grow their relationship, and now y/n was growing his child. Of course, Kristen had never wanted kids or marraige, but she wanted Scott. And she thought she'd had him.

Everything was screwed up, and she didn't like it.

Their friend group took it well, putting on very happy reactions for the camera as they told everyone. It seemed as though everyone in their friend group was filled with positivity.

They waited two more months, y/n hiding her growing stomach as much as she could as Scott continued to add clips to their explaination video. Kristen was sour towards y/n, but Scott was excited.

He was going to be a dad.

Y/n was going to be a mom.

And Kristen was supposed to be what?

She struggled to follow her own plan, only gaining resentment for y/n.

The video was posted, reactions were overwhelmingly positive. This only fueled Kristen's hate.

Scott was busy on the day of the next ultrasound, but Kristen accompanied y/n, promising Scott she would get some pictures of the baby.

"Are you her sister?" The nurse asked Kristen as y/n waddled over to the chair.

"No, I'm kinda the baby's second mom." She tried to explain, only making it sound like they were in love, which couldn't be further from the truth.

Y/n smiled at the growing bean in her tummy as it appeared on the screen.

"Would you like to know the gender?" The nurse asked as she searched for a heartbeat.

"Yes!" Y/n exclaimed, smiling up at Kristen. The way Kristen looked back at her made her uneasy, though. As if Kristen wanted to be nowhere near y/n or the baby.

Kristen walked slowly next to y/n as they left. It was quiet between them, and y/n felt as if she was about to cry.

"Do you have a problem with all of this?" She finally asked, looking Kristen in the eyes.

"Yes, actually, I do." Kristen replied, her rage building.

"You don't have to be invloved, I can take care of the baby myself." Y/n tried to justify Kristen's feelings. She hated making people mad or upset.

"Scott wants to be involved." Kristen was short as she devised an impulsive plan, acting upon pure cruel instinct.

"But you don't have to be! No offense, but I don't want your negativity around my sweet little baby bo-" Her words turned into a scream as Kristen shoved her down the flight of stairs.

_____

READ PART TWO HERE