#but i dont think arfid was recognized as a thing when i was a kid and my family was convinced i was just stubborn and that they could | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

2024skin · 1 month ago

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Crazy to be 20 years old and my mom casually mentioning that she was so glad i decided of my own volition that I didn't want to see my bio father anymore bc she knew that he and his mom were smoking meth when I came to visit but didn't want to tell me unless I brought it up cuz she didn't want me to have a bad impression of them 😭 that woman is a saint if I found out my baby daddy was tweaking in front of my toddler I would've poisoned his supply and sent them both to the graves from "overdose"

#my mom hated her babydaddy so much but she was so worried about me growing up to think that she purposefully turned me against him #i remember her sitting me down like ''i want to move somewhere far away for grad school but that means u might not see ur father as much #anymore. so if you think that would be sad for you we'll stay put''#and i was 6 years old like ''i dont care about him at all''#2 years later i forgot his fucking name and my mom had to remind me XD he was such a non presence in my life #cant tweak around ur daughter if u never spend time with her!!!#even when i was over there my grandma and some of his uncles were the ones who took care of me #and i didnt like any of them they were mean to me they didnt understand me or my personality at all even when i was a baby #and had a baby personality (toddler with what was probably ARFID)#i started denying food based on smell and look before i was even out of the high chair #i spent years and years beating my mom and aunts and maternal grandparents into submission #the dinner table was a warzone and i did not quit the fight until i won. and then i would go to meth daddy's house #and i had to start All Over Again cuz they were never around my moms family. in hindsight im sure thats bc of the tweaking #but yeah me not wanting to eat ''gross'' shit (like bread. not even pizza dough) was the main source of strife between me and every adult #it continued well into my adolescence (altho realizing i was wrong about bread opened me up a lot to trying new things)#but i dont think arfid was recognized as a thing when i was a kid and my family was convinced i was just stubborn and that they could #break me so i was never checked out for any eating disorders

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