#but i dont mind its cute to play w characters like dolls and make them kiss kiss fall in love or whatever
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welcometoteyvat · 1 year ago
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the rarepair pipeline really is just (wants to see two characters interact) (the only people who make content of those two interacting are the shippers) (doesn't mind them having a romantic relationship and thus is converted into the rarepair)
#xiao.yun...... albe.qiu....... any iteration of the xq cy xl ht xin.yan yj gang that don't involve xing.yun.......#i think the minds of koko.mi x raiden shippers are very large but i honestly haven't interacted with enough ship content to rlly get a vibe#yae.sara is also something that tickles the brain mostly bc the people who write fic of them give them so much depth its very nice#x.iao x ht too tbh#like maybe i haven't read enough gen fic of them but i feel like there are so many good potential parallels and a lot of them#are only present/prominent in the ship fics between the two. bc there the writer will have a heavy interest in developing both chars and th#relationship (in the platonic and nonplatonic sense) they have w each other#idk man i'm like thinking about why i seem to ship an endless amt of rarepairs and i think the answer is just ships give people a lot of fr#freedom in imagining things#since so much fanfic is like romance geared bc the development of a relationship begets a natural plot#like yes that's probably something to take note of in fandom that there's so little nonromantic stuff that focuses on more than 1 character#but i dont mind its cute to play w characters like dolls and make them kiss kiss fall in love or whatever#as long as they're a round character and not just used for romance reasons or flattened into like 2 traits im down#ramblings!#2 clarify i honestly think those ships i mentioned are really cute im just analyzing how one could get into them (neutral connotations)
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gigisnetwork · 4 months ago
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NERDIFYING UR DEMIGODS 🗣️🗣️ (things I think they’d enjoy :3)
Nico
- Batman - in fact, the whole DC universe (he would collect figures + comics)
- The Maze Runner (he’s read all the books and watched all the movies and has a crush on thomas) (maybe newt too)
- Gravity Falls (insane lore, enough said) (also he’s the one who introduced it to Hazel) (They see themselves as Mabel n Dipper) (also went ballistic over the Book of Bill)
- Song of Achilles (LOVES madeleine miller) (Bonds over her books w annabeth i don’t make the rules 🤷🤷)
- POKÉMON (YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ITS SIMILAR TO MYTHOMAGIC I KNOW IT) (also had a HUUUGGEE hyperfixation on pokémon go) (collects cards (ofc) and plushies too)
- My Little Pony (hazel got him into it) (thinks it’s super cute) (collects plushies of them)
- Fallout (Thinks it’s sick and loves dystopian stuff) (frank introduced it to him 😇😇) (sometimes like redesigns things so they look like they’re from Fallout) (like MrsFallout on yt)
Annabeth
- AGGTM (you can’t tell me she wouldn’t love pipravi)
- The Hunger Games (shes read all the books and absolutely LOVES katniss) (also she definitely sees her n percy in peeniss)
- Murder Most Unladylike (idk she seems like the kinda girl to be into murder mysteries n stuff) (also i just think it’s fitting for annabeth)
- Circe (again LOVES madeleine miller) (hasn’t read medusa yet, i don’t think she would) (hubris + she isn’t fond of medusa AT ALL) (bonds over her work w nico 😇😇)
- The Sims (SHE THINKS ITS SO FUN) (she absolutely loves character customisation, and interior design n stuff) (has so much custom content it’s insane)
- Minecraft (Again, loves designing things) (makes the most intricate builds EVER) (super skilled like it’s actually insane how she makes her builds) (usually plays on creative but absolutely has a hardcore world she’s been working on for YEARS)
Hazel
- Bee and Puppycat (she loves how pretty the show is) (also she kinda sees herself in Bee)
- Steven Universe (Again, pretty art) (also, the lore goes crazy and has pretty good music ‼️)
- Gravity Falls (again, pretty art n insane lore) (also she went BALLISTIC over the Book of Bill) (She and Nico see themselves as Mabel n Dipper)
- Dolls (haunted/creepy dolls, cute dolls, ball jointed dolls, figures, you name it) (she’d try and communicate w the haunted dolls w nicos help) (its actually pretty fun to her)
- My Little Pony (it’s cutesy) (also she likes the message it gives ^^) (has a ponysona) (LOVES EQUESTIRA GIRLS YOU CANT CHANGE MY MIND) (AND THE NEW GEN TOO)
- Animal Crossing (she likes all the versions but mainly plays new horizons bcus she thinks it’s like the best) (loves the character designs, and being able to basically make her own island)
Percy
- Spider-man / The Spider-verse - actually, the entire marvel universe (He thinks it’s sick) (also ABSOLUTELY relates to peter parker and miles morales) (only really got into it bcus of the movies, before starting to collect comics)
- One Direction (no one knows this) (was absolutely HEARTBROKEN when they broke up)
- The Hunger Games (annabeth got him into it) (but he only watched the movies, got half-way into the first book before being like “i can’t do this anymore” and watched the movies) (RELATES TO KATNISS 🗣️🗣️)
- SEGA/Mainly Sonic (he thinks it super silly) (also sonic boom was incredibly funny to him) (CONSTANTLY quotes him too) (has every single game w him in it)
- SUBNAUTICA. (you CANNOT TELL ME HE DOESNT LOVE THIS GAME) (EVERY TIME HE PLAYS HE IS SO INVESTED LIKE YOU CANT TEAR HIM AWAY FROM HIS PC OR CONSOLE)
Frank
- POKEMOONN 🗣️🗣️ (he introduced it to nico) (they both play in both mythomagic and pokémon tournaments, when they can find some) (they also love playing them together) (he has all the games)
- Unpacking (thinks it’s super relaxing and absolutely loves the visuals) (also loves how it tells a story, ykwim ???) (introduced it to hazel) (really, he’s the one who introduced hazel to all the video games that she likes)
- Resident Evil (people are like incredibly surprised when they find out he’s into that game) (he really likes the lore/story, thinks it’s super sick)
- The Last of Us (again, people were super surprised he was into this game) (he likes shooter games) (also thinks ellie and joel’s dynamic was super sweet) (has a love/hate relationship with the hbo series) (100% thinks dystopian stuff is sick)
- Yu-Gi-Oh (another card game) (idk i feel like he would really be into it) (this definitely came before pokémon to him) (he’s known this before mythomagic) (the OG 🗣️🗣️)
- Fallout (he introduced it to nico) (again, game mechanics are sick and loves the lore 🗣️🗣️) (sure, he’s the one who liked it first but he isn’t as big of a fan of it as nico)
(will update when i think of more 🗣️🗣️)
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the-ghost-rat · 1 month ago
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NO BUT LITREALY lumity is legitmently such an utter mess the more i think abt it that it lowky reminds me of catradora in a way(but not as bad) i would far rather they have willow and luz be end game, im not even a willow fan but its less insulting then luz instantly dating a girl who bullied her friend for years
Yeah i remember the song doing that n its still so weird to me how some ppl keep defending it-i highly doubt ppl would try to defend it if g1 did something like that
Oh yeah she was definitely implied to be Aboriginal, Aboriginal or Māori due to the tattoos on her dad, granted she would be biracial Indigenous & white due to her mom(her mom is a water nymph so greek) its weird to me how ppl keep insisting she was just a white girl in g1 cus of dumb reasons like her being blonde, having green eyes & “light skin”(shes just blue😭) when its obv she’s not , some ppl argue shes still implied Indigenous in g3 which while yes true Indigenous latines & Aboriginal/Māori folk arent the same and acting as if any representation of an Indigenous person is representive of all Indigenous cultures is weird af 😐 (also yeah your spot on about Brazilians-as a Brazilian myself its so frustrating how there is little to no representation for us likely due to us not speaking spanish, i was actually excited at first for lagoona being latina now cus the creature from the black lagoon is specifically located in the amazon which is in Brazil but turns out she wasnt)
My friend did note that both the mummy & the frankenstein monster in the classic universal films were played by the same actor which i think is a cute detail about clankie but i just overall cant say im a fan of it or at least how its tackled (the fans make the pairing even less enjoyable their so damn insufferable)
Yeah i agree about nefera shes such a nothing character now, it feels like they wanted to do helga & olga but didnt get why that one worked so well, the whole point of clawdeens siblings vs cleos sister was to show the differences between a healthy relationship between siblings vs a toxic one i mean hell clawdeen even had a big sister like cleo
Honestly g3 cleos voice is so damn funny to me cus its litrealy just amanitas voice😂
G3 toralei is so weird cus they obv wanted her to be punk w her first doll but were too scared to actually go there so instead they went more 80s glam and rave which just dont rlly work for toralei, i mean her band is litrealy called hissfits a pun on missfits a punk band yet like you said she just sings pop-rock songs, g1 toralei was definitely punk the only character & doll in g3 id say are actually punk is venus & welcome comittee frankie which is weird cus g3 frankie is supposed to be “DIY punk” yet they only ever dress in prepy fashion , g1s punk characters were based on a more toned down verison of punk yeah but they were still punk regardless
Tbh im canadian too n i dont rlly mind ghoulia being canadian not being mentioned much-mainly cus idk what they couls do to mention it 🤷🏽‍♂️ i also dont think a voice actor needs to perfectly match the characters appearance unless the character is disabled or has an accent cus we wont see them but also cus i care way more abt how they eruased her being autistic coded & had her speak, yes she “technically” spoke in g1 but not only are not all languages verbal ones(such as ASL) but also to the audience she was mute , alot of nonverbal autistic ppl noted that they communicate in a similar way she does besides she displayed other autistic traits like hating change , needing a schudule, having a special interest , struggling to express herself etc, only to now have all of that gone in g3 not to mention even her implied physical disability is removed in g3, she doesnt have a hunch n moves just like everyone else does most we get is “oh she needs a skateboard to move around better” which is such a dumb way to represent a mobility aid - i do fully understand foxford & bunny tho , i do think they should have done a better job at estiblishing them ceing icelandic n welsh at least give them an accent, but for bunny her having an actor w down syndrome is extremely important, down syndrome does effect someones speech pattern its important to make sure her voice actor has the same speech pattern as a neurotypical/able bodied person cant do that, granted i also am just in general burnt out on wereanimals in MH 😅 thats all we get now n its so damn lazy n boring, i would far rather if they picked an entirely different welsh folklore monster for bunny n made foxford something like idk a kitsune(just as an example) just anything but a wereanimal
Monster high G3 rant
Watching the TV series and I’m kind of disappointed.
This will be my second watch of season 1, I’m rewatching after the current season 2 episodes.
the show feels very flat in my opinion. They’ve given the characters a lot of cool traits, but they’re used for like one episode and then never brought up, or they only use one specific trait 24/7. Like Frankie in this generation, they have the ability to electrocute, extend their body parts, and they get visions from the people they’re made out of. Specifically they get visions from this one recurring doctor/ scientist. The idea is cool, but the vision literally is there to give exposition about something conveniently. Like when they are trying to solve the puzzle of clawdeens mom, Frankie’s vision just conveniently tells them what to do and how to do it.
In that same episode, we see manny taur. A Minotaur character. And right away we are just told that he’s good at puzzle solving, and so is draculaura! They’re rivals! But this is the first time I’ve ever seen or heard about draculaura being into puzzles, let alone her one sided rivalry with manny. And as the episode ends, she’s like “well you can be the rightful puzzle master” but it feels so flat. There has been no build up to this moment.
Another example is lagoona. In her designated episode, she is rooting for torelai to win the fear-leading captain over draculaura (another thing that has no build up as to why it’s important to her) lagoona explains that torelai is holding a secret over her head, and if it gets out she will lose her status as the fiercest monster in school. But this is the first time we have heard this!! In previous episodes there’s no mention of her being scary or fierce. Or even her super fast swimming skills. It’s just brought up and glosses over with a “be who you are, it’s okay to like what you want! We all have secrets 🥹” but there’s no real character development.
My last example will be the way draculaura is presented in this series. From what she tells us, she has high standards to live up to as a vampire. She needs to look good for her day so she studies endlessly and is striving for perfection. But she also has a love for witchcraft, which is banned in monster high due to its connections to humans. This can be a cute premise, but they NEVER show draculaura compared to any other vampire to show how she’s supposed to act. They never give us episodes where she blows off her friend’s shenanigans because it makes her look bad, and they never really show her dad being so overbearing. They don’t show us WHY humans are hated. And even though witchcraft is banned, whenever anyone finds out about it they’re just cool with it? No push back or anything. The only character to challenge draculaura was torelai.
This all may be very nitpicky, but MH is a character driven franchise. Character relationships with each other and their surroundings are very important to me. I want to feel the so called pressure these characters are being put under. It doesn’t have to be ultra serious 24/7, but issues get resolved within one episode and then rehashed a few episodes later with no further development. Especially with characters like Cleo and lagoona. They have been benched as side characters in this show, and side characters get much worse treatment.
‘The general episode progression is like this - introduce an issue, introduce a high stakes situation that involves the school, have all or one of the main 3 engage in a sequence of fights against this issue(or rapid solving of said issue through convince) - issue is resolved and lesson is told to viewers-characters reset for the next episode.
I know this is a children’s show, but that doesn’t mean it needs to have bad writing, not all kids are high off cocomelon. Kids deserve good writing in their media!
My next rant will be about clawdeen and her story this generation
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ladyjaja · 3 years ago
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entry 5 ... a little about clothes
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im take a break from talking abt the castle to speak some thoughts abt my personal fashion experiences on sl .. sparked by these 2 outfits i did the other day
since i spent a lot of time on sl, i dont really feel that extreme hunger and craving for new clothes anymore, because my closet has plenty and because i know what i like for sure now
i still buy things tho, i love fashion and dressing up my avatars, i especially love dressing up wafa.. its a less expensive version of playing with real life dolls.. i know what stores i like so i just follow them all on flickr and check out anything tht stands out to me ... anyways
i bought the top on the left and the outfit on the right in the same event .. theyre from diff creators..
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this top is by MUSE, and its not originally this color.. i bought it in white
me getting a new piece of clothing lately is almost fully dependent on whether the item is modify or not, and MUSE always has their stuff w/ modify permissions
i think this is an afterthought for many people even long time SL players sometimes .. including myself earlier in my sl life
but overtime i realized i had a bunch of things i didnt feel like i could fit in various outfits or even various avatars.. making outfits was really annoying and depressing,......i started having revelations after spending a long time tinting + combining hairs (this is its own monster)
any modify clothing.. i can tint! and if i can set the texture to white and tint, then all the outfit parts can actually match, and i can use my own colors
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its kind of rare for stores to have full mod clothes anymore .. a lot will offer modifiable versions in fatpack.. insomnia angel does it, and ill buy those if the singles arent mod.. yeah fatpack is so expensive seeming but its worth it to spend more on an item ill use for multiple avatars and multiple outfits, thn a bunch of tops tht only serve one purpose.. or could end up in the trenches of my digital closet collecting dust .. 1 item i can modift and color endlessly keep me happy way longer thn useless shirt
tinting hs become very sacred to me and important in making a new outfit .. and i guess by extension important if im shopping
its a very personal preference but there is something to think about when it comes to creators making clothes no mod .. some people dont want you tinting the stuff they made .. they think modify items are more at risk to be copybotted (it doesnt make a difference)
i feel a certain way when the permission isnt specified anywhere, or if theres no.. like "mod in fatpack!" like it turns me off to not be able to put my cute color on it, at least modify being fatack exclusive give me hope!
this can be advice, but is rlly my personal thoughts.. i think the fact tht i want my characters to feel flat on purpose, because they are flat.. contribute to this.. because i like the minimal texture achieved by tinting, its very subtle.. i tend to keep in mind to buy from places that i know have textures that are soft and can translate well into being tinted
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(some closeup, u can see what i mean w the shadows?)
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now w this second outfit.. its from a store called V.C.LAB.. my first products from this store..and 2 be real maybe my last..
i subsided my preferences on mod clothing like i do everyonce in a while, cu i thought this look woud be really cute for wafa, i didnt buy a fatpack.. and the singles are.. like i mention.. no mod
the skirt i can probably use with other things and the shirt too, but i guess knowing myself i doubt it, this is a unique wafa outfit.. summer vibe for her.. which is fine.. its rare for me though to buy something like this .. supposedly, the fatpack is no mod either
it is super cute ofc
something abt being tinted outfits all the time makes outfits like these stand out more on my characters, like a casual day out
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i dont regret buying it.. but i use petite for matrieya, and the rigging for it (the version of the shirt for petite) is whack, idk if theyll ever fix it? it was a bad omen for me, i want to buy mod clothes forever..
part of me buying this no-mod fit tho is because a lot of mod clothes isnt very modest.. i love MUSE, but its all lingerie mostly.. its very revealing and not at all neutral, i love their clothes but sometimes i want something that cover up more(bold to say cuz even this outfit 'revealing' in a lot of standards, this is just some sl problem & its own conversation), when ur looking for tint only clothing u can run into problems often where u feel like ur getting too much of some clothing and there can be holes in ur wardrobe that take time to fill..
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regardless ever since i have this mentality w shopping and stuff i feel a lot more peace with my avatar and my closet.. the edit menu is sacred.. and u will go a long way exploring all its posibilities.. unless u RLLY a diehard fan of baked on shadows
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karak9 · 6 years ago
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Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender
This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing
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