#but i don't want it
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being a mango hater is so hard when you're shopping for edibles.
#there's so much mango flavoring in edibles#i don't like fresh mango what makes you think i want artificial?????#ik mango is supposed to like... enhance you high or whatever#but i don't want it#mango is naaaaaaaaasty
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Does anyone else ever have that moment to where you're holding your razor in your bathroom and you just stand there staring at the mirror wondering if you should or not
#self h@rm#Cutting#i'm not okay#I need help#But I don't want it#Depression#Depressing shit#tw depressing stuff
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I need to vomit, but the attention is too good to pass up.
#vent#vent post#sex repulsed#actually hypersexual#hypersexual#I want it#but I don't want it#but I missed it#I can't even feel any joy out of it either
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I feel like whatever happens to Nat not just in the finale but even if she lives, for the whole show, is a good indicator of what Yellowjackets is trying to do and say as a story. Obviously we’ve got Shauna and Tai and the wilderness and who you have to be to survive and consuming the ones you love and how you cope with knowing there’s a darkness in you but with Nat it’s like. This girl has been suffering one way or another her whole life. She’s always fought to do the right thing and when pushed into extreme situations she sometimes fails because she’s only human, but she’s here and she’s alive. She tried to kill herself and failed. She tried to kill a fish and failed. Where are the writers interested in taking her character. What’s the ultimate narrative arc for her. Are they going to kill her off to show that some people simply can’t survive such intense trauma and awful choices? That the girls ultimately chose faith in the mystical over realism? Are they going to make her get worse, make it a tragedy about spirals and fighting against the current you know will win in the end? Is she going to get the chance to actually heal? Is she going to have to run from the others again, and if so what will that thematically represent?
I don’t have a solid point with any of this because “Character fates impact the narrative” is hardly a groundbreaking statement. Shauna’s arc demonstrates the shows themes. Taissa’s arc demonstrates the shows themes. But with Nat... idk I’m just rotating her in my mind and watching with fascination. I don’t know what direction the writers are going to take with her and that excites me. But by making her the heart/moral center of the team they set it up so that whatever happens has a significant impact to the show’s statement on morality as a whole, not just her character alone. We saw that last episode with Javi’s death, and her choice to let him die. I really feel like we’re going to see it again this finale.
#yj rambles#natalie scatorccio#yellowjackets#hoping this makes sense because I'm mostly just rambling#but for the same reason that Jackie's death haunts the narrative#Nat's fate is the answer the writers have chosen to the question they've been exploring these past few seasons#about right and wrong and survival and trauma#her death would have the most impact specifically in a thematic sense#but I don't want it#cannibal horror survival show deserves to keep it's little bit of hope and optimism#as a treat#callie's death would probably be the only thing that could give a similar impact#but I don't want that either lol
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I am sad to say that today I learned that I am very depressed. Probably clinically.
(This has not been diagnosed, but I've seen the signs and the writing on the wall)
#prayer#tw depressing thoughts#im very sad and tired#i have no energy#i can write#or read#or eat#i very much need help#but i don't want it
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no i don't want to use your ai assistant. no i don't want your ai search results. no i don't want your ai summary of reviews. no i don't want your ai feature in my social media search bar (???). no i don't want ai to do my work for me in adobe. no i don't want ai to write my paper. no i don't want ai to make my art. no i don't want ai to edit my pictures. no i don't want ai to learn my shopping habits. no i don't want ai to analyze my data. i don't want it i don't want it i don't want it i don't fucking want it i am going to go feral and eat my own teeth stop itttt
#i don't want it!!!!#ai#artificial intelligence#there are so many positive uses for ai#and instead we get ai google search results that make me instantly rage#diz says stuff
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wait do people read first person stories and think they're the ones in the story???
Saw people talking about not liking first person, which is fair, but their reasoning was like "I would not do that" and I don't understand that mindset.
First person stories are still about a character. A character making their own decisions. First person isn't about you???? At least I thought it wasn't. What am I missing? I've always seen first person as just a more in-depth look into a character's mind and stricter POV. Not as a reader stand-in.
#reading#writing#writblr#writeblr#isn't second person the one more likely to be projection#because it's involving you in the story#unless it's told in a more artistic way#like dislike a pov style if you want idc#I just don't understand this specific reason
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#oh my god?????#txt#STOP FOLLOWING US!!! WE DONT POST LIKE THIS. WE POST JFK RPF#'blah hah hah and everyone clapped' don't you want to live in a world of beauty? with us?#‘why can’t i reblog this?’ Because trads started going He dodged a bullet in our notifications
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school project, some drawings for my pretend game about a housefly girl called musca and her adventures in some creepy&wet place
#my art#mine#sorry for long post#i have extra stuff i could include but i don't want to blast everyones dash#musca#oubliette
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl
While I’d want this concept to mostly be a lighthearted comedy, since that’s more my forte, the north star (heh) of this premise would be the loss of passion for something you once loved, feeling the pressure/expectations of sticking with something that you’re “a prodigy” at and the subsequent burnout. How hard do you fight for an old passion or at what point do you just let it go? Is it even okay to give up when so many people are counting on you?
Sounds bleak but I promise I’m an optimist and that will always reflect in my work :)
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I was rambling on the issue of museums and human remains and how certain populations are more likely to have their bodies put on display to be gawked at and then went "well I guess the Pompeii casts were of Europeans. there are bones in there right?" and Googled it to make sure, at which point I confirmed that yes there are bones in there, but more interestingly DNA testing revealed that a cast of an adult holding a child everyone assumed was a mother and child were, in fact, a man and a kid entirely unrelated to him. Honestly that's more moving to me. Maybe they were connected in a way other than blood, but maybe a stranger saw a child when the world was ending and thought the one thing he could do was hold them.
#or maybe he was the babysitter. idk#crack open a pompeii cast like a kinder egg and there's teeth in there#now personally if people wanted to put my bones on display I'd be cool with it#maybe I'll decide to donate myself to science idk. I don't want to be used to practice face lifts though...#writing in my will 'if someone wants to have my skull on their bookshelf that's fine. put a candle inside it'#why this
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don't show him modern technology; it won't end well
bonus under the cut:
#i'm not sure if ford would really be interested in using the internet much#but i could see him wanting to look something up real quick and ending up reading something so outrageously wrong#that it pisses him off to the point that he gets into an argument about it lol#gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#digital art#my stuff#anyway i really don't like how this one turned out#but i don't feel like changing it#bc i already spent way more time on this than i actually wanted to#and i don't wanna look at it any longer
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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