#but i didnt realize i packed it until i opened it. otherwise i probably would have just bought something else lmao

[crvstybowlofcereal]

You guys I packed the wrong fucking can of soup for lunch

[thespiceyoops]

Love the planet and it will love you back

Some alien smut I wrote a while back. Hope you deviants like it 🙃

You're out on an alien planet, collecting moss samples for the lab back at the base. Boring work but it keeps you busy. And you do so love the gooey lichen that grows in the caves around here, its low blue glow has always made your pulse to race and something in you to warm, strange. Today the team is off else where on other assignments, probably collecting rocks. There really isnt much to this planet, no intelligent life, no animals, nothing dangerous that anyones found just a lot of plants.

Labeling the last sample you set your pack aside and sit to take a break, something catches your eye, a soft blue glow emanating from a patch of grass a couple feet away. Strange, you think, the lichen isnt a surface plant, normally its found in the caverns to the east. Casually you approach and touch it with your shoe, funny, you realize you've never actually touched it before, when you first found it, it was still in the early stages of the mission and everything was dangerous until proven otherwise. Well it had been months and after plenty of tests it had been deemed harmless. Kneeling beside it you lean forward on your elbows, letting the aura your always felt when getting close to it wash through your body, your pulse quickens and something deep in your body stirs, so strange. Knees tucked under you, upper body low you gently take your finger and poke the small mass of lichen, it quivers and the glow brightens ever so slightly. You like that huh? You smile, talking to a plant, cute. Slowly you push your finger around, the lichens surface changes slightly, its smooth and gooey and moves fluidly to your touch. The glow increases and with it the stirring deep in yourself. Wow, you breathe, what a f-fancinating reaction.

Your thighs clench and you push your finger harder into the mass.

Suddenly it shudders and with a pulse of warmth it melts into the earth.

Wait! You gasp, not caring that you just yelled at the dirt

Frantically you look around, the has to be a cave or an opening, it couldnt have come from no where.

You feel a familiar warmth behind you, spinning around you see it, tucked behind a tree, a crack in the ground emanating the faintest blue glow.

With no regard for safety or the rest of your team you dashing for the opening, lowering yourself carefully into it. Seeing no lichen but feeling the warmth beneath you follow the glow down.

Climbing down for what feels like an eternity you finally emerge into a cavern unlike any they had come across before, soft blue and purple moss lines the floors and lower walls, small pools collecting water from the dripping ceiling and glowing blue Crystal's peaking out of the walls. You look around dumbstruck, no cavern they had explored so far had looked anything like this, it was beautiful. But still..... no lichen. Confused you kneel down on some of the moss and peer into the pool, small sightless bugs flit around the pool. The first signs of life!

Suddenly your scientific joy is interrupted by a sucking sound and your world goes black.

What you didnt see was a mass of glowing blue pulled itself up out of the ground, slick and shiney it slithered up behind you and in a motion it had cast a blob of itself over your head.

In a quick motion tendrils of blue slither out over your body, surrounding your arms and pulling them behind you, you try to scream but in the mass of gel it makes no sound. Suddenly you feel it force it's way into your mouth and down your throat, you begin to panic and struggle but surrounded you can only squirm helplessly. Funny enough you suddenly find you can still breathe, that calms you if only a little.

Then a soundless voice fills your mind.

You have found me. I have watched you since you stepped foot in my domain and hoped you would find your way to me. Welcome to my world, welcome to me. For your care and respect I shall reward you greatly

You feel the gel quiver as the image of a man pulls from the amorphous blob, his head close to your ear, one hand up over your eyes, the other wrapped around your waist, tentacles slither over your space suit. The hand that was as your waist slids up to the zipper of your suit, gently pulling it down and exposing your small perky breasts and continues to your belt, deftly one of the tentacles snaps it open and the zipper continues lower. Suit hanging open you can feel the warm glow of his body against your skin and the stirring deep within you intensifies, the mass slithers out of your throat and mouth and you breathe in deeply, something about his form smells earthen and musky, familiar after years of botany, you take another breath and relax. He grins at your pleasure and slids his hand back up your front releasing two tentacles that softly caress your already hard nipples. You gasp and strain forward feeling his body briefly leave your back and when you lean back into him you feel your arms, still bound, melt back into his form.

He kisses your neck, running his warm tongue along your collarbone, his hand rests heavily on your belly and presses you into him. His long fingers brush your opening and you let out a gasp and buck forward.

What form would please you most? He croons

Static fills your brain as he presses his lips to your temple and flashes of every erotic novel and movie you've ever read flash through your mind.

Hmmm he rumbles, his hand slids up your body to caress your breast while the other pulls from your eyes and you blink in the low glow of the room, and him. His hand extends forward, a mass of goo rises out of it and begins to take different forms, a tentacle, a flared horses cock, a long and slick rod, a short knot covered in ripples. Combinations you couldnt have imagined but the sight of makes you ache with want, you can feel yourself dripping into your suit. Finally it morphs into a bulbous purple and blue ridged shape. Strangely familiar, you blush remembering the funny gourd the team had found the first week here and joked about using to pleasure themselves, later that night you had snuck back into the lab and done just that. It pulses once and hot liquid spills out the top, covering it a slick lubricant. The sight makes your mouth water and with a long surprisingly delicate index finger the being scoops some up. His other fingers gently take your face, with little resistance he opens your mouth and slids his finger in spreading the goo onto your waiting tongue.

It is warm and strangely pleasant tasting but that thought lasts hardly a second before it takes effect, you feel light headed, you pulse races and you feel this overwhelming ache form deeper than you've ever felt it before. Pleasure and desire flood your body and you choke on his finger still firmly in your mouth. Your strangled cry of need seems to arouse something primal in him and you hear him hiss with pleasure and press harder into you.

Hand still grasping your mouth he tilts your head back, kissing and nipping your neck, his other appendage holding the cock shaped mass begins to tease your opening. Sliding it over your folds, over the opening, you strain against him trying to get closer to this thing that will satisfy your need. But he holds, hand still planted over your mouth, tilting your head back.

This is what you desire? He breathes in your ear

You whimper desperately, your tongue licking his fingers helplessly.

Suddenly you feel the mass slide into you, warm and slick it pushes deep. You nearly cum just from that one thrust but you hold it together, you can tell there is more to come if you can just hold on. And you're right, once its settled deep in you he stops, you almost scream in frustration until you feel it pulse. The heat begins to grow and you feel his grip on you tighten, you gasp as you feel the appendage begin to grow, spreading you wider than you've ever felt before, you stay perfectly still relishing the feeling of being filled so entirely. When you feel you can bear it no longer it begins to move, slowly it thrusts into your belly sending waves of pleasure through your body. Again and again he thrusts into you, quickening his pace, deeper and deeper each time, you gasp against his fingers getting so close you feel you might scream.

you hear heavy breathing in your ear, his body tense and shaking, his pleasure pushes you over the edge and you choke out your climax, you body convulsing against him, heat radiating through you body, stars sparkle behind your closed eyes as your brain goes blank of everything but the feeling coursing through you. Your finish pulls him over with you and you hear him curse in some otherworldly tongue. With one more thrust you feel a surge of heat and something warm and wet explodes deep inside you sending aftershocks of static coursing through you.

You both collapse from your kneeling position to the moss below, his hand still holding the appendage within you, the other slips from your soaking mouth to cradle your head as you lay panting and shuddering.

The feeling of the cock still planted in you is strangely comforting and you feel the cum slowly ooze out of you, running down your thigh and onto the moss.

You lay there in comfortable silence for a what feels like hours, breathing together, his finger brushing the hair out of your eyes and occasionally pressing his lips to your neck and back. Finally you feel him move his hand away from your opening, pulling the appendage free and you're almost sad until a ripple of pleasure runs through as the ridges slip across your sensitive folds allowing the rest of the liquid flow out of you.

The entity chuckles his lips brushing your ear, I have chosen you, will you be mine?

You shift and turn to face him, for the first time getting a real look at the entity that just fucked your absolute brains out.

They are an androgynous beauty, blue, translucent skin glowing and shimmering slightly, strangely textured hair tousled and falling into his eyes which are a deep dark blue, deeper than anything you've seen before they glitter with thousands of tiny pinpoints of starlight. He smiles and you cant help but smile back, bringing one had up to his cheek, it is warm and surprisingly soft for the slick appearance.

What can I call you? You whisper

I have many names but you have called me Xallia

Your breath catches, that name, it cant be. You see the mission reports in your head, Planet name: X4ll14

You're the planet?

I am its essence and everything that brings it life. Or at least the little life I have been able to create, I realized when you stepped foot on my surface that you were what was missing.

Wait.... tell me you're not asking me to give birth to your alien offspring.... you tense up and panic rises in your chest.

His face drops with worry and he puts his hand on yours

No... no you will need to do nothing of the sort, what I need from you is your essence, that which gives life to your species. Give yourself to me and let me take a little and I will bring life to this planet through myself.

You relax and sigh in relief

Ok, get wonderfully fucked regularly and watch the planet get some neat little alien life, that I can do. Who knows, they might even keep us here longer with new developments. You think to yourself with a smile

The entity brightens seeing your smile and you nod in agreement.

Ok, I'm yours

It let's out a strange melody and takes your lips in its, passionately kissing you till you're breathless.

I will reward you dearly for this

[semiconducting]

just reflecting on some personal growth stuff from last year !

im actually. genuinely okay. like i think im starting this year feeling okay! which is atypical. 

i think i can attribute it to the enormous amount of work id put into myself over the past year...i remember one year ago being extraordinarily depressed and really just. high strung? incredibly anxious but exhausted. and i fell down a descent slowly from not eating, to getting really irritable and not handling conflicts with friends well, to actively self harming again, to the point where i remembered sitting in a coffee shop with one of my friends and saying out loud that i need to go to therapy. and that i was going to talk to a mutual friend of ours about how the therapy services on campus are. which was a huge step for me! ive always had trust issues with therapy services since i was 12 for reasons i wont go into, but im sure you can gather the point of.

and then, literally the next day after saying that, got news about campus shutting down because of the virus.

and i made all of the effort possible to reach out to my friends and get things figured out to weather the storm because i KNEW shit was going to get bad if i didnt. but only one of my friends was really keeping up, and thats because he and i do homework together so we were already in a rhythm of talking every single week no matter what. and thats not to say that im ungrateful for him or the fact that even still he was there for me while i was going through hell, i have this thing about Not Putting All My Problems On And Confiding In One Person And One Person Only. so i withdrew, i stopped talking to everyone, i stopped logging into my classes, i didnt do any homework, i didnt lead my workshops, didnt hold office hours...i was just wallowing in my own misery

and i made plans to kill myself. and thats like, i mean i could say that several dozen times over the course of a year since i was like 12, but i mean a legitimate walkthrough plan. had my hiking bag packed with everything i was going to use, decided where i was going to, and was going to prep myself for it. wrote drafts and drafts of suicide notes until i decided just leaving the contact info of people who needed to know asap was all i was going to leave. in addition to sticky notes on some stuff in my room for what needed to be returned to who, or if something should go to someone in particular...

and i acted as normally as i could around my housemates. attributed my not leaving my room much to being busy with classes. i have a rule to myself to always sleep at least one night before killing myself because if im really serious about going through with it it can always wait one day. this time i decided i was going to clean my room and leave it as pristine as possible. the last thing i had to do was a load of laundry, and then i was going to do it.

and then someone from campus showed up at my door. because one of my professors filed a report and i hadnt responded to any of the emails id received checking in on me.

so i readjusted. caught up on my schoolwork, just barely finished the semester and definitely didnt do it strong or well (god bless the pass/fail option bc of covid LOL), but i did it nonetheless. went home, started my internship, had a miserably mundane summer.

i grew bitter and apathetic. i was angry at my friends for not being responsive when i reached out to them to talk or hang out or do anything. i got tired of dealing with it. i was tired of feeling alone and like no one gave a shit about me except for when it was convenient for them. i decided that i wasnt going to deal with people who werent willing to put any effort into me, so i stopped talking to everyone and kept up with people who were willing to reach out after the fact.

it’s definitely not the best approach. it’s really unforgiving and it doesn’t give people a lot of benefit of the doubt, but i think it was necessary in some respect. i didn’t have any criteria for how people needed to reach out, or how long after, or whatever, just that they did. really needed people in my life who are willing to communicate with me. i was honest with how i was feeling and why i did things if they did, apologized for the shitty approach, thanked them for still being willing to talk to me, and worked out the best way for both of us to keep things going.

over the months i dont think i really regret the decision, because it’s been a weight off my shoulders. i feel a lot better. i’m far more okay with where i stand in all of my friends’ lives, even if that’s not as a priority and even if that’s as just someone to talk to and catch up with like a couple times a year. it took a bit for it to pay off but it’s nice to take a look at people i was putting far too much work into and upon reflection realizing that they only interacted with me when they needed something from me, and not for me as a person. i think there are still people where there are loose ends and i think i may try reaching out myself to tie those up at some point, whenever i have the energy and clarity of mind for it. but i guess at the end of the day i just decided that people who weren’t willing to communicate weren’t worth the time. i’m okay if that communication means i need to be the one to initiate conversations even! i just need to know that.

but yeah. i came back to ny and started the semester totally apathetic and angry. i was so fucking depressed and bored with everything even if i was keeping myself incredibly busy. the only thing that i found rewarding (and what was just barely keeping me going) was leading my workshop for the intro optics class. 

and then a friend -- the same friend i was at the coffee shop with -- reached out to catch up. and i was honestly really bitter and angry with him and was prepping myself to start listing out issues that i hadnt been able to address with him beforehand (side note, while telling friends the issues you have with them is important, listing shit out all at once is hardly ever a good approach especially without warning LOL) but ended up...just having a calming and comfortable conversation about what was going on in our lives since we last saw each other. 

n later that day i ended up reaching out to an old friend that i had been meaning to catch up with because we fell out of contact, but had just barely been trying to start talking again in the months before this but had kept missing opportunities to properly converse. but we talked again, and we set up a day to hike and catch up.

and he comes to my house and picks me up. and i get in his car. and its like, holy shit, its been almost a year since ive seen you. and we hugged. and just started to catch each other up on the mess that had been our lives since we’d actively been in contact. we hiked, he told me about the books he wanted to write, we talked about people we knew, we talked about politics, we talked about school, we talked about life, and it was just as comfortable as if not a day had passed...even though it was obvious that he and i were both changed people over the past year. nothing about our friendship was any different though.

we resolved to hanging out with each other every week. decided we both needed the interaction, appreciated having each other around, and had a nice overlap of free time in the week that worked well. friday nights unless otherwise specified.

it was totally unexpected. he’d always been a great friend to me, but i never expected us to get as close as we did. neither did he. he’s probably the first person in my life (or at least in a very long time, and certainly the only person at the time) that i’d been so comfortable with that i practically had no boundaries around. none that needed to be addressed, anyway, because the only possible ones to throw up wouldn’t even come up (but of course, i constantly reassured that as soon as anything came up i would let him know because early on he kept asking sjhdkjfh). 

he became something for me to look forward to in the week. towards the beginning he was a shoulder to lean on when i needed it and was willing to listen to things i hadn’t been able to tell anyone out loud. and he confided in me as well. it was comfortable. it was safe. it was a level of trust with vulnerability that i’d never shown anyone else. 

but it wasnt even just that! it was fun! hes so fun. we could talk about everything and nothing, and hes one of the only people where i feel like i have to keep up with him in conversation instead of the other way around. we’d jump from topic to topic so much faster than either of us could think and it was all always so interesting. littered with humour that was just dumb and simple. i felt comfortable just being an idiot with him. i felt like i had nothing to prove. 

for the past few years ive held to the sentiment that i like to hang around with people that make me a better person. but somehow, with him, its not that i felt like he made me a better person, but that he made me more myself. he saw who i was without any kind of fronts. and i always was afraid to show anyone that me because i always assumed that they would be depressing, loathsome, bitter, angry, and vicious.

but....i’m not. i learned that i’m incredibly loving. that i’d do fuckin anything to for my friends, but always in a way that was healthy and rewarding for both of us. i’m very light-hearted and my sense of humour is so stupid, but also very analytical and thoughtful. just a bit judgmental and pretentious, but always for things that people dont expect. totally open minded in discussions. an avid explorer, and a bit of a thrillseeker. and so, so, so affectionate.

i realized im. not as horrible as ive always made myself out to be. i accepted that i didnt need to punish myself for things beyond my control. i realized that i could believe people when they tell me that they enjoy my company, or appreciate things i do for them, or that they think i’m a worthwhile person to keep around. 

its not that i dont have my flaws, its not that there arent things that i have to work on still. but maybe, at my core, i’m not actually motivated by spite, i’m not actually a hopeless pessimist, and that i’m not...broken. i’m not some secretly irredeemable monster.

and for a period of time i’ve been in a place where i could say i was genuinely...happy! and i don’t think i’ve ever been able to say that. i’ve certainly been made happy by doing things with friends in the past, i’ve been through periods where i’ve been okay with where i am at in life, but ever since i was like 12 (but probably even before that) i’d never been able to say that i was happy. it’s not that i wasn’t stressed, it’s not that things in my life were all going perfectly....but they didn’t define my mood. they didn’t define my view of myself. school, despite being the primary focus of my life, wasn’t dictating how i was feeling. even when things were agonizing and depressing because of school, i was still okay. i was incredibly stable.

and i owe that all to him being there for me. and hardly any of these things were anything that he was really directly responsible for, like its not that he sat there and just constantly showered me in reassurance and praise or anything that changed how i view myself...it was just having his company. it was just being able to sit there and listen to him go on about some totally random thing that he was exceptionally knowledgeable about. it was exploring caves and climbing hills. it was cooking together. it was talking about science. it was talking about love. it was talking about music. it was just having a consistent presence in my life, someone that treated me like a priority but never at the expense of himself, and someone i didn’t have to walk on any kind of eggshells around. it was someone who trusted me and respected me not by anything id done to warrant it, but just because of who i was. 

it was a reminder that i can take care of my own problems, that i just need to be a good presence in someone’s life and for them to be a good presence in mine.

but also that i can accept help from people who genuinely want to offer it! and that that help doesnt always have to be direct. that sometimes helping me means i get to do something nice for someone else LOL

it was everything i ever needed and i wasnt even looking for it. he meant the world to me and i was so, so thankful for the circumstances that led us here because i was so happy to have him in my life again. i was happy that we were able to get closer because we’d only been able to interact in professional environments before.

and then i realized i was in love. and i had a sexuality crisis. but i didn’t recognize it until i fell hard because it was a different kind of love than i’ve felt for anyone before. it was intense but entirely too comfortable. but i knew that i cared about him, and that he cared about me, and that i really didn’t need anything about our friendship to change but that it had potential to be something even greater than it was.

and i resolved to tell him about it...until he told me first. and that moment was, as cheesey as it sounds, nothing less than magical. we were both so happy and giggly and it was so sweet and warm and i dont know if im ever going to be able to recreate that feeling because it was just so particular, so specific to being something between me and him. its not that i cant love anyone else as strongly or be as happy as i was necessarily, but it’ll never be that same kind of feeling.

but things happened. things got complicated. i think he panicked. and then things that happened just felt so dirty and hollow and dark. he hurt me really, really, really badly, and it managed to happen in the span of four days.

and i’ve spent the last <2 weeks dealing with it. i think he’s dealing with it in his own ways, but realistically i don’t know how because i havent seen him since christmas eve, and we were both definitely not being completely genuine that day. was at his house for a small family party and he and i were the only ones who knew what happened. it was too soon to have healed from it any, but we couldnt exactly be honest about it then either.

and im doing better. im genuinely okay now. and, interestingly, i think i owe it to the past few months of hanging out with him and how ive been able to come to terms with a lot of things about myself. ive been able to show myself compassion. its really ironic.

its a situation where i was desperately trying to throw blame onto myself for, because if i could then i could punish myself for it and use it to fuel that deep rooted self hatred and then i could fix it, because i’d be the one responsible for fixing it. but, and i’ve talked to quite a few friends about it trying to figure out who to confide in about it, everyone who knows about it insists that i cant blame myself for it. theres not a thing about the situation that i can blame myself for. and its so fucking weird, because i cant bring myself to fully blame him for it either, just because it was so ABSURDLY out of character that it doesnt feel like it was anything he could have done to me. it was a boundary that i wasnt ever supposed to worry about him crossing, because he’s just not that kind of person.

and it’s the type of situation that you’re supposed to totally be willing to cut someone off for but...i can’t. he’s genuinely remorseful and i think he doesn’t really know how to deal with it either. and despite it being a massive fuck up its still like...the first fuck up in our friendship from either of us. and i’m willing to see this through. i think it’s salvageable, even if it’ll never be the same as it was. i have faith in our friendship. i think we can make it work.

but no matter what happens. i owe him more than i’ll ever be able to repay him for. and i’ll never, ever be able to hate him because of that. i’m in a much, much better place because of him and for that i’ll always be thankful.

[currentfandomkick]

Bio! Dad Strange Part 5

Some paris update again with more Rogue shenanigans. Heads up, this is more a ‘i decided everyone can be complex and get along somewhat so im altering character dynamics from cannon to my prefrence’

When Marinette and Max and Nino ended up in Chloe’s class the trio made a simple pack on sight—aviod her at all costs.

Why?

Max is fairly certain Marinette is some type of meta. Fairly. She’s still the only person on his level close to his age, so he isnt saying anything.

Nino doesnt share this suspicion, but she’s close with Sabrina, who’s dad keeps checking in on him and Marinette’s family way more than the other stidents at Dupont. Nino doesnt like this, and by proxy, Chloe is horrible.

Marinette thinks Chloe and Sabrina could out her and aviods them to prevent this.

Their teacher sees this and decides to ignore the mandate to keep Max and Marinette And Chloe and Sabrina as science partners in every situation by switching things up.

Max hates working with Chloe—she keeps foddling and talking about fashion when its chemistry class. Focus on the lesson you heathen

Marinette works well with Sabrina (both organized) but she is extremely uncomfortabke with this as Raincomprix starts asking her for help on cases out in the open. Woth science and she has to fake not knowing about them. He takes forever to catch on that her mom doesnt know, and would be pissed if she knew.

Raincomprix then uses his daughter as an inbetween for his and marinette’s joint ‘solve the coldcase’ game. Sabrina gets involved to practice english and science, and finds out she’s good at finding overlooked clues.

As you can guess, this leads to Sabrina and Chloe joining the group.

Marinette and chloe talk fashion sometimes, Chloe critics her color pallettes and stitches. Also her choice to use rogues as inspiration becuase “arent they bad guys?”

“Eh? I think theyre just bad at getting the help they need.”

“Didnt joker kill people?”

“That was mostly mr. J. Easy mistake.”

“...okay...”

This curbs a decent amount of Chloe’s bullyign early on. Chloe is not borderline meta in this, just fixated on fashion to an insane degree—she knows everything about all aspects of the industry but cant design from scratch. Her mom looks down on her for this.

Chloe is also how the group know of ‘adrikins’ who is her prince and will marry her someday or be her forever family, uncertain which.

Alix gets along well with chloe as she needs someone to be salty with when Kim is being an idiot and Marinette is too nice and it goes over Max’s head and Nino is... there is some doubt if he’s scared of Kim or just really respects him.

Sabrina and Max cannot be left alone under any circumstances though. They will try to outsmart each other. Sabrina via legal things, Max via facts and trivia. Marinette is used as their buffer, much to her frustration as she does have designing to do guys!

Kim is showing signs of a crush. Marinette has not noticed as has a secret identity to keep, rogue family to manage from another country, other people’s secret identites to keep (she blames Tim.) so many languages to learn and practice and to top it off, friends to keep from killing each other during school. She has a lot on her plate, ok?

So that summer was more rogue sheneigans and dodging heroes while being herself and forcing her Father to cook with her—mostly Great Uncle Wang’s recipes.

“I am being bossed around by a child. In my own kitchen.”

“You were the one that claimed me as yours. I demand compensation in bonding time.”

“Uh, Mr. Smith was it? My neice suggested a aimple soup seeing as you are a... novice.”

This lead to an oddity for the Science Rogues—Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow, Strange and Riddler—getting into cooking wars. Only the RKC knew how and Not one of them would spill, only looking at Marinette who was smiling as she said “my great uncle did that!”

This also left the four with less plotting to destroy gotham time. It worked out for the most part.

If she got bored (and she does) she visits Ivy and helps out in the greenhouse or her the wayne’s gardens. Rose now has her own plants sprawling about gotham (marinette dropped fast grow seeds) so she can escape the Greenhouse and move about Gotham without mama bear Ivy trying to take over the city while looking for her teen-appearing child.

Frost was busy with college and so was Ghoul, so she hung out more with Puzzles due to proximity. Puzzles got it in his head to prank Hero Stalker and Batman. Marinette tried to talk him out of it, she did.

It failed. And somehow it was a night with Batgirl and Nightwing/old Robin trying to help Batman with his grief over the last robin who died. The new robin had yet to be revealed, but she noticed hero stalker was more motivated lately. She knew she couldnt stop him—he’s a year older than her and probably rich. (And she’s not supposed to exist...)

So Puzzles pretends to be Riddler and lures them into an old tv set. They were not expecting it to be a hideout for a gang.

And if Marinette was in an old Harley Quinn outfit with a hammer her size to match, well... disguise?

Harley realized what was happening when she checked the groupchat and no one knew where they pair was until Rose was pestered for a bit to have her plants check.

They went into a drug den and the batfam was with them. Fuck.

Puzzles and her get out of there when the realize what’s up. Why? Guns and not being invulnerable.

Marinette is worried though and hides and may hit one of the armed men hard enough to fly across the room.

Puzzles stares at her. She flies to tackle him and grumbles about sunlight messing with her meds again.

Nightwing caught that, realizes who knock off harley is, and guns for the kids. Only there are more goons now and—shit. Where did the kids go?

Batfam took down the gang.

Harley is seen in her car a few blocks away with... are those kids? It trends on social media that Harley has a daughter who’s grounded for messing amwith gangs.

The Council meets to scold Marinette and try to get the story straight.

Dent snorts when he finds out they were just going to silly string the batfam and slime them on camera. The camera was busted in the fight though...

Hero stalker freaks out about the whole thing and tells the pair off. “You almost died!”

“He said my dad was dumb! It was a matter of honor!”

Hero stalker is Done with Puzzles and tries to talk sense into Marinette, who says its her job to keep him from dying, ok?

Hero Stalker/Tim is upset but kind of gets it from watching Batman. Sometimes your partner does dumb things and you have to keep them safe y going along with the dumb thing.

Riddler puts them in a puzzle maze for a week. Marinette figures it out and goes in and out of it to make it look like she’s still trapped.

Strange rolls his eyes as yes, this is his daughter. Yes, she is smarter than Riddler.

Ed Nygma the other hand is keeping Puzzles grounded for another week. He lets Marinette visit to check up on his and Riddler’s states since they share a body and all.

Harley is still lecturing Marinette and gets her to agree shell at least tell Rose when something is up from then on.

Rose puts a plant on marinette. I am not joking, she puts a vine on marinette’s arm to keep her safe and make her take her meds since “you cant fly otherwise nets. And put in your earplugs!”

At somepoint there may be a case of music master making an appearance, but idk if it should be marinette is immune due to earplugs or marinette gets dragged into being seen by the league AND rogues at once and they bith try to grab a very freaked out Marinette who flies back to france where Max is mid-panic since she needs someone to talk to and uh, she figures he knows most of it so, help. She needs logic and hers is shot at the moment.

Next time we get more of a quick fic on marinette’s training with Zsasz as a kid.

[setsureadsshit]

Lost At Sea: A List of WIP’s I am finally letting go of [ Part 4 ]

[ Part 1 ] [ Post 2 ] [ Post 3 ]

*see posts 1-3*

let me (under your skin) by godsensei

Summary:  Hinata unknowingly moves into the apartment directly beside Oikawa and Iwaizumi's. Oikawa is delighted.

Last Update: 2016

Fandom & Main Pairing: Haikyuu!! ; Hizuwa

Personal Notes: IT WAS SUCH A PROMISING START, I’M SO MAD. I...could probably hold onto it for another year or two but you know, this whole process is about letting go right? Still sad :<

Ten by Azkaabanter

Summary: Oliver's in Central City on Mayoral business, and to take a break from being the Green Arrow in Starling City for one month. Just one.His temporary office is in the crime lab of the CCPD, because what place in Central could be safer than the police station? And what room could be better than one he gets to share with the shy, nerdy, clumsy CSI?But Barry Allen isn't at all what he seems.Oliver can see if you're dangerous, it's a gift; a power.

A toddler... a one.

A cop... a five.

A hitman... a seven.

Barry Allen... a ten.

Last Update: 2018

Fandom & Main Pairing: The Flash/Arrow ; Flarrow

Personal Notes: I’d have kept this one if not for the fact that the 4th chapter isn’t actually a chapter but an update promising to finish the story and then it’s been another 2 years, lol.

Glow Worms by gurglesnaps

Summary:  I knew this wasn't a good idea. None of Stiles' ideas ever were.

Last Update: 2016

Fandom & Main Pairing: Teen Wolf ; Sterek

Personal Notes: It is rare for me to so much as look at a fic written in first person, usually after the first paragraph I’ve noped out of it, it’s just not a tense I enjoy. But this fic not only caught my attention but I held onto it so that should tell you something. It’s only 3 chapters which is a disappointment.

Open Book by AggressiveWhenStartled

Summary: “If you jump out of this plane without a parachute one more time, I don’t know what I'm gonna do, but you will not like it.” Bucky yanked, hard, on one of the straps holding the parachute on—Steve gave a soft grunt of complaint. Bucky shot him a look and jerked it harder.

This work has been discontinued and has been completely rewritten as Closed Book. This is not a sequel, prequel, or otherwise related. Read Closed Book with the confidence it will conclude, but this is an older version of it and will not.

Last Update: 2017

Fandom & Main Pairing: The Avengers ; Stucky

Personal Notes: Pretty self explanatory on this one I think, lol. I haven’t read Closed Book yet but I loved what there was of open book so it’s def on my list to tackle next!

Hard to Breathe by sourwulfur

Summary:  What with the Nemeton making things difficult for Stiles and the gang, a school project shoves Danny and Stiles into spending time together. That little push may be all it takes to start forming a bond as more than just classmates. Maybe Danny could be the one to help Stiles find a light in the dark where his friends are already succeeding.

Last Update: 2014

Fandom & Main Pairing: Teen Wolf ; Stanny? Diles? It’s such a rare pair I honestly don’t know.

Personal Notes: I think this might be the one and only fic I have ever read that was Danny x Stiles in my many many many many many many MANY years of reading teen wolf fanfic. It was decent, I liked where it was going, I just wish we’d gotten to the end. There’s like, 9 chapters but a lot is left up in the air so if you need closure, don’t even start this one.

Junkyard Dogs by TrashPanda

Summary: Orphaned at a young age, Derek is sold into the slave market. His dynamic as an alpha, and a werewolf, make him a desirable slave to have working in Peter's alpha brothel, The Junkyard.Stiles is a 21 year old virgin omega who's tired of going through heats alone. Dating isn't a realistic prospect, so he seeks out The Junkyard, hoping to maybe find an alpha to help him through his rapidly approaching heat.Then he meets Derek, one of the Junkyard Dogs, who's also about to go into rut. And nothing could stop the pull they feel towards one another.

Last Update: 2018

Fandom & Main Pairing: Teen Wolf ; Sterek

Personal Notes: This one actually hasn’t been left for very long I’m just no longer interested in the story it has to tell

Some Kind Of Madness by cutestpixieyoueversaw

Summary: ****WARNING: Story is currently being rewritten and organized until June/July 2018. Deletions and additions will happen in the meantime***Stiles apparently has a type. You know unfairly attractive for this worldly plane while having perhaps some of the best wit around? The kind of wit that could be spoken with only facial expressions. Bonus if they gave Einstein a run for his money. Oh he forgot to add Alpha because it was now a thing, perhaps even a kink if he was going to be really honest with himself.Or the one where Stiles realizes that his life should be a MTV show because the drama he has is worthy of cable television.Or the one where Stiles meets another pack and gets to understand that Bella and Sookie really had the worst luck ever and he is not them but really it's reading like he is. P.S. Tinkerbell is a bitch.

Last Update: 2014

Fandom & Main Pairing: Teen Wolf ; Sterek

Personal Notes: I feel like I remember liking this but it’s been so long and while it claims it’s being re-written, I’ve kinda just lost interest. Hopefully the revamped version is even better than the original and I def encourage y’all to give it a chance.

By All Four by Sunshineditty

Summary:  Sentinel Jim Ellison and his guide Blair Sandburg are on the trail of a serial killer who murders young latent and online sentinels in the Pacific Northwest. Derek Hale - an unbonded guide - is trying to live through the pity of friends and family when his sentinel ex-girlfriend and the guide she left him for return to Beacon Hills. None of them will predict the series of events and the feral sentinel who will change the course of their lives forever.

Last Update: 2016

Fandom & Main Pairing: Teen Wolf ; Sterek

Personal Notes: I don’t know enough about Sentinel to really judge the fic, but I do remember it made me want to actually hunt down the original show to watch because it seemed interesting.  

No Longer Human by battlegod (Battle_god_Ye_Xiu)

Summary:  He now understood why moths would flit towards a flame, pining for its warmth even as they caught fire. It was the irresistible attraction of light when one was surrounded by darkness. Reaching for the lone spark that shone at night, was that not the instinct of all living things?

Last Update: 2019

Fandom & Main Pairing: The King’s Avatar ; Huáng Shàotiān xYù Wénzhōu

Personal Notes: I’ve watched this drama like, 20 times but I’ve lost interest in fics pretty much. Mostly because it’s understandably hard to find anything in english, lol. We can’t all be Untamed.

Swapped by writeonclara

Summary: if u wanted my number u couldve just asked

u didnt have to steal my whole phone ;)

Steve stared down at his phone, confused. He didn't recognize the number – except, oh wait, he really did. That was his number. On his phone.He flipped the phone over, then slid one hand down his face. 

Not his phone.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

Last Update: 2018

Fandom & Main Pairing: Captain America ; Stucky

Personal Notes: It’s a cute start but not interesting enough for me to hold onto. Stucky is one of those....tangential pairings that is more I know a lot of people who ship it and the stories tend to be interesting so I’ll read it when I happen across something that catches my eye but I don’t like...go hunting for it.

two drums in the grey by brandywine421

Summary: “Standard disclaimer – you are not on the first or second string of our emergency call trees,” Cisco said.

“So why are you here?” Barry yawned.

“We’ve got a new speedster. Wally West,” Caitlin said, preemptively wincing.

Last Update: 2018

Fandom & Main Pairing: The Flash/Green Arrow ; Flarrow

Personal Notes: This is actually the second in a series, the first story is complete and I honestly don’t remember much about it but it must have been good if I subscribed to the sequel. So take that as you will, lol.

[cartoonishvendor]

Unexpected

A/N: This is the second of the fics I wrote on vacation. Enjoy!

Summary: (New) Cryptor gets used to life with Ava’s Team after March is no longer controlling him.

Word Count: 1715

-

"Cryptor? Cryptor, I'm talking to you."

The rising of a by now familiar voice above every other sound in the room caught the nindroid in question. He flinched and moved out of his previous position, resting his head on his hands, to look at Ava, who stood next to him, carrying two fully packed gym bags the size of fully grown greyhounds as if they weighed nothing. Confused, and admittedly a bit helpless - even if he didn't like to admit it, he tilted his head, which gained nothing from Ava but a usual, stoic stare.

"I assume that, even though you could use some training in practical combat like all of us, you would not be interested in visiting Sensei Garmadon's class on the arts of fighting, since you're not interested in training, nor information on how the Sensei managed to stay alive for so long like I am. Is my assumption correct?"

Cryptor couldn't believe how, despite Ava showing no signs of malice, her obkective wording still managed to hit, somehow. It was true, he avoided practical combat training as far as he could, but the way she said it made Cryptor feel guilty about avoiding it. Nonetheless, he nodded in agreement.

"Good. So, you will..."

A cough from across the table Cryptor sat on turned both the nindroid's attention away, and toward Chrissie, who shot a glare with lowered eyebrows at Ava. One that said things words probably couldn't.

"I mean, if you would be so kind, could you maybe watch Sam's training? They refuse to come along as well since they prefer to train in private, but it would come in really handy if we had someone to keep exact record of their progress."

'To compare how far behind they are?' Even if he didnt pay much attention during the conversations that didn't involve him, it didn't take much for one to notice that Sam was considerably less trained in combat, and especially their elemental power, than Ava or Chrissie. Why that is the case, nobody knows. He's heard the others fleetingly blame it on pacifism or not wanting to overshadow their sibling a few times, but for Cryptor, none of those excuses made sense. It was like they didn't want to actually know why they're behind. But, since Cryptor had nothing else to do, he figured he might as well just find out why, so he nodded again, accepting Ava's request, who, in return, smiled and clapped their hands together.

"Good. We'll be back around midnight or tomorrow morning."

And with that, she left the room, followed by Chrissie who carried about the same weights as Ava. Now left was Cryptor who, after locking the front door, went on to look for Sam. After knocking on the door to their room, the short reply "Over here!" sounded from a different side of the hallway, muffled by a door between said hallway and the bathroom in which Sam seemed to be in. Before Cryptor could start an awkward attempt at knocking on that door however, it suddenly opened and Sam stepped out, wearing their casual summer attire; a short-sleeved top,  pants that go just above their knees and no footwear. Though Cryptor couldn't even know if it was their casual wear; this was the first summer he spent with Borg after all.

"Is it time for training yet?"

Sam reached for a gym bag they left in front of the bathroom, looking at Cryptor, who in response, moved past Sam, nodded, and gestured them to follow him. Before he turned around, Cryptor noticed a smile on Sam's face as they swung the bag over their shoulder after having pulled a pair of shoes out of it and put them on. It made Cryptor smile a little as well, but as he became aware of it, that smile disappeared again.

-

The training went as Cryptor expected: Sam displayed every advantage and disadvantage they had in a fight, whether they realized it or not. However, to Cryptor's surprise, Sam hardly tried to utilize their elemental powers during the combat training they performed on dummys. Then again, was it really a surprise? Cryptor sunk back into his thoughts, not realizing that Sam waved at him from across the hall until they whistled a tone that caught Cryptor's attention. They gestured him to come over.

"Can we do a one-on-one combat?"

Cryptor's questioning expression turned into a rather sheepish one fairly quickly after hearing Sam's suggestion. It wasn't that he didn't trust them to be strong enough to take them on, he could probably even manage to tone down his fighting instincts to the bare minimum, basically becoming a moving dummy. No, it was the idea of fighting them - or anyone from the team - that kept him from agreeing to help. Who knew what crazy, dangerous malfunctions from the cracks of his damaged subconcious could occur if a fight brought up old memories? He shuddered, telling himself to stop acting like a sheep, and finally nodded. Though Sam seemed to have noticed that something was up, judging from the sorrowful glance they gave Cryptor as he went to his position, they didn't say anything.

And as Cryptor expected, not once did Sam use their powers. Not once did they try to knock him over with a strong gust of wind he knew they were capable of. During a few times, where their powers could have saved him, in case this had been an actual fight, they didn't use them there either. Every fight went by like that, and after every fight, Cryptor got even more interested as to why. But he didn't. How was he even supposed to form an entire sentence without panicking? The next fight started; Sam attacked Cryptor, who could bring them to the ground mid-jump, by ducking down, confusing Sam, and then grabbing their legs, swinging them in the opposite direction Sam was jumping. A thud sounded through the otherwise empty gym hall as they hit the ground, thankfully remaining unharmed due to a piece of chest armor designed for training they wore. Cryptor didn't hesistate to help Sam up after they haven't made an attempt to try for themselves, like before. They grabbed his hand.

"Let's take a break."

On an old, defective jumping obstacle, the two made themselves comfortable as Sam took off the armor from their chest and arms, and stretched, letting the noise of their knuckles cracking sound through the area. Cryptor only sat and watched, having nothing to do but wonder. After having let his glance wander through the hall, it landed back on Sam, who, while wiping their face clean of sweat, brushed a strand of hair that was previously in front of the ear to the side, revealing something that Cryptor hasn't noticed before: a tube or cable-like device hung out of Sam's ear. At closer inspection, another part of that device was located behind Sam's hair, also partially hidden by a few strands of hair, and of course, the ear itself. Too bad that that closer inspection caused Cryptor to unintentionally move closer, which Sam noticed.

"What're you doing?"

That successfully made Cryptor shy away, even if Sam didn't want to. The nindroid was startled for a moment, and proceeded to point at Sam and then to his own ear.

"My hearing aid? What of it?"

The upset undertone in Sam's voice almost made Cryptor regret pointing it out, but his need to know why they needed a hearing aid. He tilted his head, interrupting Sam uncomfortably scratching their ear.

"So, uh, you didn't know I was hard of hearing? And you've never seen my aid before?"

He nodded, gaining a more confused than upset expression from Sam.

"I've had my aid for quite some time now, I'm surprised you haven't seen it yet... Then again, we don't really talk much, huh?"

Cryptor nodded again. It was true, he and Sam barely talked until now, even though Cryptor considered them probably one of the most pleasant people on the team. They weren't so overly positively energized like their sister, nor were they a... freak like Ava. They adjusted and worded all conversation they had to be easy for Cryptor to reply to by making everything a Yes-or-No question or something that could be easily signed out in response to, accepting that even though he could, he just wouldn't speak a lot. Not with them or anyone else. They were pleasant enough to be around, but Cryptor rarely ever was around them. Did he even spend that much time with his other teammates? It always felt like he was to sy trying to adjust to the new routines that spending time with the team felt so... overwhelming.

"Can I tell you a secret? Whenever I use my powers and move the air too close to my ears, it hurts. A lot. That's why I avoid using them at all. Even when I probably should."

Baffled, Cryptor just stared at them. This entire confession seemed unreal. Not only didn't Sam wait for an answer to whether or not they could trust him, like they didn't need an answer because they already did trust him, but he got the answer to a question he hasn't asked because he didn't know how to. Did Sam just... know? Could they figure out he got interested in why they didn't use their powers when he beat Sam into the dust over and over during training?

"Every action has reason. Mine do, at least. So, it's fair for me to assume yours do too, right?"

But before Cryptor could do anything, Sam jumped up from their seat, extending a hand to Cryptor with a warm smile on their face. They, again, needed no reply, because they already knew the answer. After Cryptor took their hand and jumped down, he pulled Sam into a tight hug they had no chance to escape from. But it's not like they wanted to do that anyway. As Sam returned the hug, they softly brushed their hand against his shoulder, letting a short, mechanic purr escape the robot. For a moment, he began to panic. But feeling Sam attempting to hug him closer helped him calming down almost immediately.

When was the last time he felt safe?

[writeanapocalae]

A Detective in Junction

Read it on Ao3 | Chapter 1: Diving Back In 

Warning: This is a Sequel to A Doctor in Union and may not make sense out of order

Sebastian groaned, glaring at his phone where it sat on the bedside table, lit up and buzzing and waking him. He slept lightly, napped through parts of the day, and there were many nights in which he didn’t sleep at all. He’d only barely fallen asleep. He should have ignored it,  wrapped an arm around Stefano’s shoulders and gone back to sleep. No one ever texted him though, there had to be a reason for it.

He picked it up, the air chilly against his arm. Stefano grumbled in his sleep, if he was asleep, as the cold traveled down his back from the shift in blankets. The phone didn’t tell him much when he answered it.

‘Located JO. -JK’

His glare deepened, not understanding the code. The phone number wasn’t one that he recognized. For a moment he considered it a joke, especially because of the JK, but then his brain turned on fully and he bolted up out of bed, and there was no way that Stefano wasn’t awake after that.

He had to go. He had to go now.

He called the number back, even as Stefano groggily pulled himself up into a sitting position, a hot hand soft on his back.

“Where is he?” Sebastian gritted out, the sleepiness still in his voice, making it play-doh and slow.

“I don’t know if I should say it over the phone, otherwise I would have texted the coordinates,” Kidman sounded tired but in the way that she hadn’t slept yet. Sebastian could hear people in the background, lots of people.

“I thought you said Mobius was gone.”

“It is, but that still leaves a lot of other people out there wanting the technology. I haven’t even made it to the facility yet; I’m just hoping that I’ll be the first one to enter it.”

A panic was starting to grow in Sebastian’s chest, his heart pounding. Stefano was rubbing circles against his shoulder blade, trying to calm him. Joseph, found and possibly alive. He’d been hoping, he wasn’t a praying man but he’d considered it a few times, for Joseph to be alright. He definitely wasn’t alright but he was, possibly, salvageable. This was the first he’d heard anything about Joseph since finding out he was even alive.

“Where are you?” he switched tactics.

“I’m at the airport in Chattanooga, Tenessee.”

Sebastian pulled out of Stefano’s hold and out of the bed, dragging his jeans on from where he’d dropped them the night before. Stefano was shadowing him, which he did so well now that he was healthy enough to move on his own, silent in the darkness. If he hadn’t been there when Stefano got better, he would have been terrified of the change.

“I’m on my way.”

“We’re on our way,” Stefano corrected. Sebastian looked at him, seeing only the light of his phone reflecting in Stefano’s eye and nothing more.

“Text me when you get here,” Kidman hung up.

“So, where are we off to in the middle of the night?” Stefano asked, scooting past Sebastian for his cane and then over to the light switch, making them both half blind with light.

“You don’t have to go anywhere,” Sebastian grabbed a shirt and threw it on, not even looking at what it was. “And I need you here, to watch over Lily.”

Stefano opened a drawer in his dresser, pulling out a pair of dark olive slacks. “You sound as if it’s some sort of emergency and you should know by now that I don’t intend to make you go through something like that on your own. We can get a sitter for Lily.”

Sebastian paused a moment, uncertain. He was fairly certain that he’d never mentioned Joseph to Stefano. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t. Joseph had been such a huge part of his life and when he was gone, Sebastian had fallen into the worst depression of his life, not that he could claim all of that was on Joseph’s apparent death.

“It’s two in the morning,” Sebastian grumbled.

“Well, can it wait until an actually humane time of day then?” Stefano slipped into a pale yellow dress shirt, “You’re going to have to explain to both of us what’s going on, after all.”

“Yeah, yeah, shit, I’m sorry,” Sebastian rubbed at his face. “Yeah, I’ll tell you in the morning. I’m just, I’m going to get ready in the mean time. I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep.”

Stefano nodded but didn’t get undressed. He moved with Sebastian in silence, packing along with him. He noted the low amount of clothing that Sebastian was packing and followed suit, as if he knew that there wouldn’t be much need for a change of clothes in whatever adventure Sebastian was going on. Sebastian wanted to give in, to tell him right then what was happening. He didn’t want to go over it twice though. He didn’t want to argue with Stefano right yet, even though he knew that this would lead to that. He didn’t want Stefano going with him, didn’t want him ever falling into STEM again.

By the time morning came and Lily was awake he was a jumbled pile of nerves, no matter how softly Stefano touched him, pressing kisses to his temple and sliding his hand along his back whenever he could. The moment that Stefano left him to go downstairs, to prepare breakfast and get coffee going Sebastian sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to breathe, trying to think. He’d been thinking all night but he still didn’t have any idea what he was going to say, how he was going to say it.

He went downstairs a few minutes later, finding Lily and Stefano at the dining room table talking about something in hushed tones. Lily looked nervous and he couldn’t read Stefano at all, even though he could see much more of his face than he used to, Stefano getting more comfortable with his hair being a bit shorter on the right side of his face.

“There you are,” Stefano gave him a soft smile and Sebastian’s chest tightened, the anxiety swelling. He couldn’t do this to them, not when they’d all gotten settled in. He didn’t want to do this at all, but he owed it to Joseph, didn’t trust anyone to go in there in his stead. “Would you mind alluding us on what had you so worried last night?”

Sebastian sat in his seat, a cup of coffee and a plate of toast and eggs already waiting for him. He sighed. They were so good to him, too good. They didn’t deserve any of this.

“Kidman texted me last night,” he said, not lifting his head to make eye contact. “She found my old partner, back from KCPD, in an abandoned Mobius facility. He’s over in Tennessee and I-

“And you intend to go there and fish him out, is that it?” Stefano interrupted, his cup hiding his face. “This would be Joseph, correct?”

Sebastian balked.

“I told him about Uncle Joseph,” Lily raised a hand meekly. “You went into the bad place with him the first time, right? You think he’s still in there or do you think he’s a bad guy now?”

Sebastian looked from Lily to Stefano, his mouth still open. “You knew about him?”

“Lily used him as an excellent teaching tool to explain your sexuality to me,” Stefano waved the question off. “You do realize that there is no way that you’re going alone, correct?”

“You’re not coming with, neither of you,” Sebastian glared, trying not to let any real anger shine through, “Kidman will be there, I’m not going to be alone. And no, I don’t think he’s Mobius. He’s probably still in STEM.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Stefano placed his coffee on the table, crossing his arms. “I am going with you.”

“You lost enough to STEM,” Sebastian shook his head, “and to Mobius. When I said you’re never going back there, I meant it.”

“And miss your reunion with your boyfriend? I think not. Sebastian, you lost far more to Mobius then I did; I lost most of what I had before I ever went to them. I do not intend to lose you to them as well! Do not forget, as well, that I had a great deal of power in Union, that I understood how to bend through the logic of that place. I would be irreplaceable to you.”

“I’m eleven years old!” Lily added, “I don’t want to come with but I’m old enough to watch out for myself! I think you’ll do way better together than you would alone! Buddy systems and all that!”

They were teaming up on him and not in the way that he’d expected. He’d thought that they’d both be against him going at all. They must have both known how much Joseph meant to him, which didn’t make any sense to him, Stefano didn’t seem like the kind of person who would be willing to share him, especially not in a romantic sense. He found himself smiling, the anxiety not gone but the anxiety for their responses at least drowned out.

---

The airport was busy and it was hard to get through the crowds with their suitcases and the cane that Stefano hated so much. He pretended he didn’t rely on it as much as he really did but, after a few hours on a cramped airplane his legs felt weak and stiff. He wanted to hold Sebastian’s hand, not the cane, but he rested against it with each step.

He could feel anxiety prick at him, a thick buzzing in his veins, an urge to stop and breathe at the same time that it was propelling him forward. He swallowed it down. He didn’t need it. It wasn’t helpful. Sebastian needed him to be strong right then. He didn’t know if he could be. He kept thinking about going back down, wondering if he would wake up this time, since he’d barely been able to last time. He’d been lucky last time and he’d been lucky every day for the past year; that luck would run out eventually.

Sebastian raised an arm and Stefano jumped, not expecting it. Sebastian was on his bad side, which he did when he was nervous, thinking that Stefano didn’t recognize it. Usually it made him feel safe, having someone he trusted protecting that side, but he couldn’t feel safe now, he couldn’t feel much aside from dread.

Sebastian was waving to a woman, to Juli, who was waiting for them at one of the little cafes that cost a fortune. Stefano had only met her a few times, when he was healing, and he knew that he had made a terrible series of impressions in such a weak and meager state. He held his head higher, tried to be more imposing. He’d come a long way.

She didn’t smile when she approached them, just clutched the briefcase at her side and made sure there was no one watching her. She’d told Sebastian that Mobius was done for, but she was far too paranoid for such a response. He’d say that it made him uneasy, but he was already uneasy.

“I rented a car, come on,” she said, in place of a greeting. They followed her in silence, out of the air conditioning and out into the heat, to a small black car that was so uncharacteristic that it had to be on purpose. She opened the trunk and they both put their bags inside before climbing into the back, Juli driving.

Once they were belted in, Stefano’s cane over his lap, Juli opened the briefcase, pulling out some files and passing them back. Stefano took one while Sebastian had the other two and the car was started and out of the parking lot before they even had them open.

The file that Stefano had was on the Core, a ten year old boy named Jonathon. His last name was a large black stripe. Stefano’s hands started to shake as he read about the boy, about his high scores in standardized tests, about his wealth of empathy, about his love of art. He was just like Lily, even the terminology was the same as what Sebastian had quoted from Mobius. Lily had been taken away in the falsified fire though and, for Jonathon, the opposite was true, the fire had claimed his parents. There was no one to care that he was gone.

Jonathon was written as being clever and artistic, showing great promise but with obsessive traits. Stefano wasn’t reading in too much depth, he didn’t want to know all of the details. This all felt too familiar. He glanced over at Sebastian’s file instead, where he was reading on a young woman, Amber Fairen. She was a romance writer, 25, but none of her stories had ever been published. At the top of the page was the same terminology that was on Jonathon’s, just with a different number: Core Candidate #9.

“Are there multiple Cores?” Stefano asked, reaching out for the other file in Sebastian’s lap.

“Yeah, this is the most experimental version of STEM I’ve ever heard of,” Juli explained. “There’s no people involved, so you aren’t going to have to deal with civilians, aside from the Cores. I guess they saw that there were too many issues with just having a single Core in place and decided to try with three.”

“And the reasoning for there being a child?” Stefano continued. Sebastian was only half listening but he perked up at that, anger flashing over his features.

“Same reason as with Lily. There’s a level of innocence in children that haven’t been exposed to trauma and they are impressionable. They’re easy to control and manipulate.”

Stefano reached out to put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. He could see the tension growing in his brow.

“No people though, that’s good, that means that there wont be any monsters, nothing like the Lost.”

Sebastian glanced at him. He swallowed. He’d never seen Sebastian so angry and he couldn’t help but feel like it was directed at him. He was just trying to get some answers though, know as much as he could before they went in.

“There’s another major difference, they implied a Lucid Unit for Cerebral Integration,” Juli explained. There was no answer from the two men and she paused, her eyes trained on the road before she went into it, collecting her thoughts, “I saw a little bit of the planning for the Luci, but I never saw it used, I didn’t know it was completed. It’s a sort of artificial intelligence that was put in place for ease of cataloging and mapping STEM, since the map could be changed by the Cores at any time. They’re also used to report any errors to the Mobius members who would enter for testing purposes.”

An artificial intelligence? Stefano had heard that such things were in development but he didn’t think anything like that would be usable so early. Mobius acted as if they were gods though, it was completely possible that they had surpassed the rest of the world by bypassing ethics and other pesky laws.

“You think the Luci could be dangerous?” Sebastian finally spoke up, handing Amber’s file over to Stefano. He didn’t open the next one. Stefano was certain it was Joseph’s.

“I’m not going to say they wouldn’t be. With the way the Cores and the other test subjects have altered the surroundings in the past, I wouldn’t trust anything to be safe really. Just take it slow.”

---

He didn’t think there was a chance, not really. He hadn’t imagined that Joseph could be alive, not after he saw Kidman shoot him, but then he’d gone back in after Lily and Kidman had told him that Joseph was alive. He’d been so distracted though, with rescuing Lily, with getting Stefano out of STEM and then back on his feet, that he hadn’t had time to really think about Joseph. Joseph, who had been in STEM this whole time, had been living in one of these nightmare worlds, with only two other people, who could have been allies or enemies.

He should have tried harder. He should have tried earlier. He shouldn’t have left Kidman to hunt for him on her own.

She pulled up to the facility, which looked like an old water purification building, with mildew growing up the walls and the grass overgrown and a few creeping vines climbing up the sides. Stefano gave him a small smile, a squeeze to the shoulder, before he unbuckled and climbed out of the car. Sebastian sighed, following his lead.

It reeked. It smelled like Beacon, like the sewers underneath it, where the water was a dark and deep red from all of the blood and viscera that was mixed in with the water. It smelled like rotten meat and cold bile and mildew and the sickeningly sweet scent of garbage on a hot day. As they drew closer to the door, which sat open with a chair shoved against it to keep it from closing. There was a pile of limbs and flies and mistakes, of the bodies that Juli must have dragged out of the building all on her own. She wasn’t looking at them, she was unreadable, her face blank as she went into the building.

It looked like a Mobius building on the inside, all white tile and cement, cold and barren and clean, aside from the swivel chair that was at the end of a long smear of blood. He squeezed Stefano’s hand. He shouldn’t have been here. This wasn’t Stefano’s job. Stefano gave him a small smile and a squeeze of the hand back, as if there was nothing wrong. Everything was wrong.

Kidman hadn’t been overly talkative before this, had always given more questions than she answered, but now she led them past offices and labs and examination rooms without a word. She was pale, a sheen of sweat on her brow. She looked like she was coming down with something. She may have been, just from touching all of those corpses.

The STEM room was more complicated than the one for Union, which was more complicated than the one for Beacon. There were three of those metal cylinders, the same kind that Lily had been in, in a cluster in the center, the wires and tubes coming from them bound in different colored transparent tubing to keep them separate and recognizable as they led to monitors. There were eight tubs around the tubes and they were ergonomic, actually built for comfort and short time use. The people who went in weren’t supposed to stay in, the trips were meant to be shorter.

There were blood stains everywhere.

“You should get dressed, do whatever you need to do before getting in,” Kidman explained. “I can give you a moment if you want.”

There were security cameras in the corners of the room. Those made him feel a lot less private than Kidman not being there would. He didn’t care if Kidman saw him naked, he didn’t have much shame in those regards, she’d seen him much worse than just naked. Stefano looked uncomfortable though and his eye was trained directly at one of the tubs as if it were something much more than it was. He was looking at it because he knew what it actually was.

“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good,” he shooed her away, letting go of Stefano’s hand to stroke up his arm. He didn’t even turn to watch her leave, had his attention on the man before him, who was pale and still intent on that tub. “Hey, you okay?”

Stefano bit his lip and nodded. “We’ll be in contact, won’t we? She can extract us whenever we need to be?”

“I have no intention of letting you out of my sight,” Sebastian promised, wished that his older promises were still holding up. “But yeah, we’ll both have communicators, remember? If we get separated, we’ll be able to find each other. And we can talk to Kidman whenever we need to.”

Stefano set his cane down, resting it against the tub. He drew closer to Sebastian, his hands finding Sebastian’s waist and stroking along it to wrap around him.

“You’re scared.”

“Of course I am,” Stefano admitted, laying his head against Sebastian’s chest. “You heard what she said. There won’t be any people in there, aside from the five of us.”

Sebastian hugged Stefano back. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

Stefano shook his head against him. “It means there will be less obstacles, I’m sure, less monsters, less casualties if we fail, but it also means less distractions.”

Sebastian pulled away from him a bit, “Less distractions? Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Before, when there were more minds connected, their obsession with normality, their ideas of what Union was supposed to be, made it harder to be manipulated for those of us who knew we were within a dream. I could create, of course, but when I did so in someplace other than my own space there was a chance that it would revert to how it had been. There will be less distractions in this STEM, which means that we’ll be able to change it without trying.”

“You think you’ll revert,” Sebastian sighed, realizing what Stefano was dancing around. He closed his eyes. “Stefano, that’s not going to happen. You were changed by Theodore, by Paolo, to become that killer. It’s up to you what you’ll become now. And I’ll be at your side all the while. If you think you’re going to falter, you can lean on me.”

“And if I hurt you?” Stefano asked.

“That’s not going to happen.” Sebastian kissed him, long and slow, reminding him that there was more to him than words. He was a man of action and that wasn’t always a good thing, but Stefano melted against his touch.

---

He had never expected to come back here. He had never wanted to. Juli had told them what to expect and it was so different from Union, but he still didn’t think that he was ready. He lay down in the tub, letting the fluids wash over him. His hands were on the sides of the tub though, knuckles white, and he turned to Sebastian, hoping for just one more argument, one more excuse as to why he shouldn’t come. He had been brave before, had acted like this wasn’t a compounding of trauma, but now it was happening, now it was real, and he wanted escape. Sebastian’s eyes were closed, his brows furrowed in concentration. They were going to do this.

“Don’t worry,” Juli put her hand on his shoulder, plugging him into the machine. “I’ll be out here for you. If it ever gets to be too much, you let me know. I’ll extract you as fast as I can.”

He nodded. That helped a little, even though he knew that if they came out they’d have to start over from the initial insertion point. He let go of the edges and let himself slide further under the liquid, taking one last look at the metal tanks that held the Cores.

This wasn’t like Union. In Union there had been only Lily and he hadn’t seen how they’d kept her in a metal chamber. There had been hundreds of tubs, like the ones that they were in, all of them citizens of that imaginary world.

He wasn’t ready for this. He’d ever be ready.

He closed his eye, following Sebastian’s lead, and suddenly he was falling back into the fluid, falling and plummeting, eye flying open to watch as so much of that white liquid fell away from him. He was unable to breathe, unable to fight against his drop into the depths. He felt himself start to choke on the nothing, reaching at nothing, wondering why Juli wasn’t pulling him up, wasn’t pulling him out. The liquid wasn’t that deep but he was miles down, the lights from outside a soft glow in the distance. He was struggling, trying to shove his way upward, but he felt a weight on his chest, a weight that was pulling him down. He opened his mouth but all that came out were the air bubbles that he so desperately needed.

He was dying. He had been a fool to agree to this. He’d known it at the time, too. But now he was drowning. Now he was suffocating. He was dying and it was pain and it was hands on his throat, in his lungs, shoving liquid into him.

And then it stopped and he was floating and there was no liquid around him. Either that or he didn’t need to breathe. He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t suffering any more. He was slowly sliding down towards a field of pale blue grass, all of it reaching up for him, looking as if it would catch him and cradle him and pull him down into comfort. He looked around but he didn’t see Sebastian anywhere in this space. He wondered if Sebastian was in a place quite this beautiful or as terrifying.

He drew towards the bottom and he realized that there was no grass beneath him. The gentle swaying beneath him was not soft stocks but drowned fingers pale and blue from lack of air. They were attached to reaching arms, ready to grab him and keep him, to drag him down and make him one of them. He threw out his arms, trying to slow his decent, looking around for anything that he could grab onto. There was nothing but that field. He had no choice.

He kicked out, trying to keep the hands away. They did not care about broken or bloody fingers. The trailed their fingers over his socks, clung to his lounge wear, and held him tightly. He considered kicking off his pants in order to escape them but they were already holding him by the ankles, their skin so cold that it chilled him. It was elegant, in a way, the way that the hands all moved together, the field a garden of expression. It looked like an art piece that he would have made in a different life. Where he was now though, on this side of the exhibit, he was not so much an audience member as he was an unwilling participant.

The hands were heavier than the weight on his chest had been and when they grabbed they pulled, arms sliding into the field as if they were nothing more than tube worms. They were forced to release him as their fingers were separated by unadulterated earth. He stood among them, more tall ones waving at him, beckoning him closer, others trying to shove behind him. They were pointing him in a direction, towards a slanted building that kept flickering and flashing, glitching out into squares before scrambling into a different building altogether. There were five of them, if he had to guess, though it was confusing as some of them stole parts of others and they didn’t cycle in an order. The shorter ones were stretched out to match the heights of the taller ones, adding to the confusion. He did recognize the apartment building he had grown up in though and seeing it filled him with a dread that he had not allowed himself to feel while with Sebastian, ignoring his own painful childhood memories while recounting what good ones he still remembered.

There was no where else to go. He had to go towards the building. As he moved the arms shuffled and tightened, pulling down so he could cross, stepping on uncaring fingers as he went. Eventually the fingers ran out and the field looked like it was made out of black glass, only a few feet away from the entrance.

The building glitched, breaking into more pieces, breaking up further than it had any time before, and then shattering, colors and squares breaking apart and flying out, changing shape and color, forming a street that led to a town in the distance, wispy woods growing around it, trying to invade the cement past a weak wooden fence.

There was a fork and down the other side was Sebastian, who didn’t seem to be anywhere near as disoriented as he was. Sebastian was, however, smoking slightly and Stefano knew not to ask about whatever fire Sebastian had had to put out on his way here. He knew Sebastian’s past and he knew his nightmares. He didn’t need to bring them up.

He was glad to see that Sebastian was dressed like a normal person, no wandering around in the sweats that he had been in when they had stepped into the tubs just minutes before. He was wearing a brown, pinstriped vest and brown slacks that Stefano had never seen before, his white dress shirt unbuttoned a bit to reveal a hint of his chest, his neck unconstrained by a tie. Glancing down at himself he was glad to see that he was decently dressed as well, crimson slacks and a deep blue satin dress shirt, much more comfortable and much more him than the comfortable clothes he’d been told to wear. He recognized them as well, old clothes but feeling fresh and new, some of the first clothes he’d purchased once being released from the military’s care in America.

Stefano rushed over as best he could with the light limp that still threatened him so often, taking Sebastian’s hand in his own and drawing close. Sebastian gave his hand a light squeeze and offered a damaged smile, which Stefano would always take, even if it filled him with a concern he was still learning how to form.

“Regretting it yet?” Sebastian asked, trying to tease but there was no merriment in his voice.

Stefano tugged on his hand, making him stumble closer to him so he could press a kiss to his cheek, to pretend that what he had seen had not unsettled him and made his hands itch to create. “I would only regret it if I did not find you on the other side.”

Sebastian’s smile reached his eyes then, before they turned away, towards a lightly glowing figure down the road. Stefano turned his attention to her as well, although there was no where else he could look, eventually, as she was standing in front of a roundabout which held a large imposing tree. There was a wooden sign planted in the roundabout with a very familiar image of a tree that looked far more like a brain than could be coincidental.

“Hello,” the woman said as they drew near, her voice a perfect monotone. Stefano hated her immediately. Everything about her was flat and bland, even though she was glowing faintly, even through her bland gray pantsuit. “You may call me Luci. Welcome to Junction.”

Stefano was impressed. He wasn’t expecting the A.I. to look so human. It was accurate but uncanny, just slightly off in the motions.

She cocked her head, eyes looking them over in a mechanical manner and Stefano was brought to the conclusion that she was scanning thm. “I am an A.I., set in motion to accommodate and direct Mobius scientists through Junction. The fact that you do not recognize me give me cause to believe that you are an infiltration in the system. Name and registration, please.”

Sebastian looked at Stefano, but he had no registration here either.

“We were sent in for repairs,” Stefano explained, trying to come up with something believable, “and we are not altogether Mobius scientists. We were not given proper registration numbers as we were expected to meet other scientists here. Give us a moment to contact our superiors?”

She looked at him as blankly as before. “There have been no Mobius agents within STEM in 298 days. The Cores are out of alignment and need to be re-calibrated. There is a long list of repairs that need to be accomplished, but I cannot allow you entry until you have your registration.”

“Understood, my dear,” Stefano gave her a smile that would have charmed a real woman of her ilk. She did not respond to it. “We will return momentarily.”

He still had Sebastian’s hand in his own and he turned them to go back a few steps, pulling out the radio that was stuck on his belt, unnoticed until just then. Sebastian was looking at him quizzically but that was fine, there were many times in which Sebastian didn’t catch onto things as readily as he did.

“Juli? It seems we’ve run into a small hindrance.”

“Already? That’s impressive,” she sounded amused at least, if a little out of breath.

“We’ve met the illustrious Luci and she was hoping for our registration, could you make us some, right quick?”

He heard something drop heavily onto the floor, with a light squish that, paired with the lack of reality he was now in, reminded him greatly of his exhibit in City Hall. “Uh, yeah, give me a few seconds.”

He clipped the radio back onto his belt. Sebastian looked proud. He’d had people tell him that they were proud of him before, had people tell him how impressive his work was, but Sebastian was the first one who made him feel like it was true, that it wasn’t a stroke to his ego. He could still feel Luci’s cold eyes on them and, whatever mood that would swell in his heart was dashed before anything could come of it.

“Alright,” Juli sighed from her home on Stefano’s waist, “get the radio close up to it.”

Stefano returned to Luci and held out the radio, letting Juli state their names, falsified occupations, and a long list of numbers. Stefano tried to memorize his but it was too long and she only said it once before a small smile flitted onto Luci’s boring face.

“Welcome to Junction, might I point you in a direction of your choosing or shall I give you the list of malfunctions?”

“We’re heading for the Core, Joseph Cedric Oda,” Sebastian said, deliberate and to the point.

Luci seemed to think on that for a moment, getting confused more than a machine had any right to. “The Cores are not in proper alignment and may not be in the correct quadrants,” she explained. “Block 24A-31E is Core JO’s primary state of establishment, otherwise known as The Junction City Police Department.”

“Of course,” Sebastian gritted his teeth. Stefano didn’t understand why. They had both been detectives together, Sebastian had told him so on the flight over, so finding him in a place that he would find comfort and understanding in was not much of a surprise. “Thanks.”

“A pleasure to be of assistance,” Luci stilled, no longer active now that it was clear that Sebasastian was done speaking with her.

“Come on,” Sebastian squeezed his hand, “We’re going to need to get a move on, I don’t care if Juli said there are no monsters, this place gives me the creeps.”

Stefano nodded. Even with Luci offline he felt like he was being watched.

@chibi–raiden @detectivesebcas @angelicsociopath@sebcastellanyes @ruvikkin@lokis-queen-hepta-the-destroyer@samofgallifrey27 @supportivepsychopath​ @zellanoir​

[zeitgeistghoul]

“First Day”

Axel Cluney x Reader 

Warnings: Mentions of gore and violence 

(hello!! sry if this fic is total garbage and if Axel is OOC, i haven’t tried writing fics like this for a long time. just wanted to show my fav barf boy some love hehe)

Your first day as an honorary X-Force member was far from normal. Wade was beyond thrilled to have a new face on the team, even going as far to ensure you received the best training you could ask for. Your mutant ability made an interesting addition to the team. You had been born with abnormally sharp and long canine teeth, making dentist visits as a kid beyond horrifying Your dentist had put an unsuspecting finger in your mouth and you had nearly bit it clean off. He was fine after a multitude of stitches, but your mother was sure he stopped being a dentist after that. Wade had referred to you as “Toothy” and “Dracula” more times than you could count, Domino finally suggesting “Saber” as your superhero name. It had stuck, finally making you feel apart of the team.

Everyone was extremely kind and helpful, the other members frequently offering to train with you and assist you on missions. The only member you hadn’t worked with yet was “Zeitgeist” or Axel Cluney as you had come to know. He was definitely an intriguing individual, not to mention extremely intimidating. He was tall; his arms and shoulders decorated with...odd tattoos. The first day you met him was when Wade had first recruited you and brought you back to the X-Mansion and introduced you to the rest of the team. All the other X-Force members were making a fuss over you, excited to have a new face around and to act as your mentors. However, Axel was the only one who stood to the side and leaned against the door frame, observing you with a odd look on his face. You wanted to introduce yourself then, but the ‘eat shit and die’ tattoo peeking out from the front of his mesh tank top told you otherwise.

That had been a few months ago and you were officially done with your training today. You and him were acquainted, but never been on a mission together. Wade quickly noticed this and worked to immediately change that.

“(Your name), as an official member of the X-Force, today will be your first official mission.” he said, excitedly tugging your arm to get you to follow him into one of the many rooms in the house. An assortment of papers and folders were strewn across the table. Wade motioned for you to sit down with him as he began to explain your first mission.

“Nothing too crazy, just some asshole who’s disguising his corporate business as an underground human trafficking ring.” Wade said, sliding you a manilla folder. Upon opening the cover, you were met with a photo of the supposed man you were being sent after.

“He looks like he was born to do this.” you commented, noticing just how abnormally creepy this man was. Wade laughed at this and pointed to the address scrawled onto a post-it note on top of the picture.

“That’s your place.” he said. “It’s his warehouse about an two hours outside of the city. He should be there all day.” You nodded in understanding and stood up to go gather what you would need for the mission. Your weapons were kept mostly in the room they had assigned you, so you grabbed the dagger you kept under your bed. It probably wouldn’t be needed with your ability and all, but always a nice plan B. You went back downstairs and stopped halfway down when you saw who was standing with Wade. Axel was suited up for a mission, his bright green vomit-guard mask held in one hand. You hesitantly climbed down the rest of the stairs, already feeling apprehensive.

“As fuckin’ dandy as it would be to send you on this mission by yourself, I thought otherwise.” Wade said. “Barf boy here will be your babysitter-I mean partner.” Wade pushed the both of you towards the door to where your jet would be waiting. “Have fun, you crazy kids!” he called after the two of you. “And don’t even think about getting fresh with my student, ya fuckin’ clown!” The door slammed behind you guys. You awkwardly glanced at Axel, feeling embarrassment already beginning to bubble to the surface. He practically towered over you, his green eyes piercing into your own.

“Let’s go, then.” he said, making his way towards the jet. You stammered out in agreement, quickly following behind. You took a seat across from him and the jet’s door closed automatically as you sat down. It rumbled and shook as it shot into take-off, causing you to jerk backward as it did. Axel began to adjust his suit and pulled his mask over his mouth and eyes. You occasionally stole glances at him and watched his movements curiously. You felt awkward and wanted to discuss the mission, but you were afraid of being an annoying rookie who asked too many questions. He peered at you over his mask.

“Excited?” he called to you over the whir of the jet engine. You flashed him a small smile, your pointy teeth poking out as you did. He jokingly grinned back, his mask lifting with the movement of his smile. The two of you sat in silence until Axel stood up, the ramp of the jet lowering again, signalling it was time to go. Axel tossed you a parachute backpack and you attached it to yourself, adrenaline beginning to course through your veins as you approached the ramp.

“See you at the bottom!” Axel shouted, adjusting his parachute one last time and jumping off the ramp. You had made this jump numerous times on other missions, but you had never quite gotten used to it. You pulled goggles over your eyes and blinked furiously as if to snap yourself out of your fear. Your heart was practically forcing itself out of your chest as you took a deep breath and dove off the ramp. Wind whipped through your hair as you hurtled towards the open field coming into view below you. Axel was further down from you, simply a green spec from where you were in comparison. You saw his parachute burst from the pack attached to him and he began to float towards the field. You soon did the same thing, however not having much luck. The force of deploying your parachute jerked you to the right, sending you floating straight towards the woods near the field. You braced yourself for what was to come, half expecting you collide head first with it. To your dismay and embarrassment, your parachute became entangled with tree branches, leaving you dangling there like an idiot. Bright green leaves floated down from the impact you made, one sticking to your hair. You wracked your brain from how to get yourself out of this situation. Your mind instantly went to the dagger you brought, but it was in your belt, which was unreachable to how you were positioned. You also tried to unclip the pack from your chest, but it was ironically jammed.

“Axel..?” you pathetically called out, turning your head to see him walking towards you with his parachute trailing behind him. He unclipped it from himself, the parachute crumpling to the ground.

“How’s the weather up there?” he mocked, putting a hand to his brow to shield his eyes from the sun as he looked up at you. You scowled at his comment, desperately trying to reach for your dagger again.

“Don’t just stand there!” you yelled, squirming around. “My dagger is in my belt pocket.” Axel chuckled. You were beyond embarrassed. This was your first mission with Axel and you had already made a huge scene. The tree wasn’t tall enough for him to have to climb up that far up and cut you down, so he was able to reach inside your belt pocket and grab your dagger. Luckily, he was tall enough to do so. He struggled to cut the rope that held you captive, the dagger barely making a dent. What kind of parachute was this damn durable? It seemed unrealistic. It also didn’t help that you didn’t sharpen your dagger enough this morning.

“Hold on,” Axel said, slipping the dagger back into your belt and stepping back. “Don’t move.” He moved behind you and the tree shake, then you heard him cough. You immediately realized what he was about to do.

“Wait, what the fu-”, You barely got out the rest of your sentence before you crashed to the ground. You turned around to see the ropes and part of the tree’s branches were eroded away. Axel approached you, turning on his head to spit on the ground.

“You absolute, fucking asshole!” you shouted, checking your body for burns. “You could have killed me!” Axel grinned and held out a hand to help you up.

“I know what I’m doing,” he responded. “I just spit on it a little.” You begrudgingly took his hand and dusted yourself off. The noise the two of you had made had caught some attention, four men were sprinting towards you, most likely henchmen. The warehouse was at least a mile away from where you guys had landed, meaning they had seen you come in. This mission was already a disaster.

“We got company.” Axel yelled, immediately running towards the group of men approaching the two of you. He projectile vomited on the first guy that got too close and the man screeched in agony, stumbling backwards and colliding with the others. You kicked into fighting mode and launched yourself at a guy who now had Axel in a headlock. You sunk your fangs into his neck, ripping out his jugular and sending a geyser of blood shooting into the air. You and Axel picked off the men fairly quickly, your fighting styles syncing up faster than you anticipated. It wasn’t long before you were surrounding by the corpses of the henchmen, the two of you spattered with blood. Your mouth had a dribble of blood dripping from it, which you promptly wiped away. The two of you began making your way towards the warehouse, keeping your eyes peeled for any more surprise visitors. The warehouse was huge, guards placed at every entrance. You and Axel crept along the border, keeping low and close to the woods. You spotted an entrance towards the back that could be a way in and nudged Axel to show him.

“That’ll draw too much attention,” he said. “We should try to get to the roof.” He pointed to a ladder that was close to the entrance your pointed out earlier. “There.” he whispered. He sprinted towards the ladder, climbing up it quickly and throwing himself onto the roof as quietly as he could. He laid low and waved frantically for you to follow. You made a mad dash for the ladder but a guard spotted you and tried to cut you off. You bowled him over, not wasting any time to bite down on his cheek. You forced yourself to get up and scrambled up the ladder. Breathing heavily, you watched Axel pull open a hatch door towards the center of the roof. You crawled over to him and peered down the hatch. It led straight into the warehouse and gave you  a clear shot into saving the women most likely being held captive there. You watched a man in a suit inspect a frail, underfed woman. She was being forced to stand up by a guard pointing a gun to her back. Other women cowered in fear as they watched the man inspect all of them. You assumed the man in the suit was your guy. You needed to take him and the rest of his men out, then get the women to safety. You couldn’t help but notice just how many henchmen this guy had, they were literally everywhere. It was going to be tough, especially it just being the two of you. You needed to be strategic. Axel must have seen the worried look on your face because surprisingly, he placed his hand over yours.

“Everything ok?” he questioned, looking concerned. He quickly retracted his hand looking sheepish, as if he had done that without meaning to. You nodded.

“There’s a lot of enemies.” you observed. “I’m just anxious that’s all.” Axel cracked his knuckles.

“We’ll be just fine.” he responded. “Just follow my lead and try to think of it as another training session.” You couldn’t help but smile. Your anxiety began to loosen its grip on you, giving you the confidence you needed to focus.

“Let’s fucking go.” you said. You jumped down into the warehouse, the man in the suit yelling out in surprise and the captured women screamed. You tackled him to the ground, your jaw snapping towards his face as he tried to push your face away. Bullets began to rain down as the henchmen tried to take you out, forcing you to duck for safety. Axel followed just after you did, spilling vomit from his mouth as he landed directly onto a guard running below him. He dove for safety as well, the crates placed sporadically around the warehouse providing minimal cover. The women were being forced outside by the man in the suit as he frantically looked over his shoulder. Axel began throwing punches and unleashing streams of vomit onto enemy after enemy. You quickly joined his side and you two began taking out enemies twice as fast. He would spew acid onto the floor, forcing henchmen to slip and fall. They would either get horribly burned from the vomit or stunned enough to give you time to land a swift bite to the neck. The two of you moved unpredictably fast, the bullets being shot at you almost unnoticeable. The henchmen were taken out in minutes, leaving only the man in the suit trying to force the women he had been keeping hostage into a large truck outside. Axel dashed ahead of you, grabbing the man from the front seat and throwing him to the ground. He cowered in fear, holding his shaking hands over his face. Axel stepped back to let you do the honors.

“Please,” he begged. “I have a family.” You approached him slowly, rage building up inside of you. “Plea-,” the man wasn’t able to get another word out because you had already wrapped your jaw around his neck.

“Rot in hell.” you said, spitting his own blood back at him as he sputtered and clasped his hands over the open wound on his neck.

The ride home had a different feel to it than when the mission had first started, for obvious reasons of course. You were mentally and physically exhausted. You and Axel sat next to each other this time, you being so tired, you hardly noticed that your knee was touching his. He became tense when you rested your head against his, but eventually relaxed. The two of you sat like that until you arrived back at the mansion. The women rescued from the warehouse were brought to the local police station, successfully marking the end of the mission. Wade threw open the door and pulled you and Axel into a group hug, chattering excitedly about how proud of you he was. The rest of X-Force congratulated you and asked you two questions about the mission. You later excused yourself to the bathroom to clean up. You stared at your reflection in the mirror. The person staring back at you was someone you didn’t recognize.You were an X-Force member now. You were supposed to kill, but it never got any easier. You turned on the sink faucet and splashed water onto your face, the water tinged pink as the blood swirled down the drain. You dried off and opened the door to rejoin the rest of the team. You nearly jumped when you saw Axel waiting for you outside the door.

“Hey.” he said, giving you a small smile. “How are you?” You ran your hand through your hair, feeling some dried blood near the ends. You needed a shower. You suddenly were very aware of your physical appearance.

“I’m alright,” you said, giving him a shrug. “Just not entirely used to the gore..and the vomit.” You instantly regretted that last part. Axel chuckled.

“Trust me, it takes some getting used to.” he said. “But you’re tough.” You smiled, suddenly a swelling feeling rising from your chest. Axel was standing closer than usual to you. You both stood in silence for a moment before you broke it.

“Thanks for being my babysitter today,” you said. “You’re quite the partner.” Axel laughed.

“Any time, I’m open to doing it again.” he said. You walked past him before he called after you. “(Your name),” You turned to look back at him. “We should grab a drink sometime.”

“This weekend,” you said. “You can pick me up.” Axel did his best to hide his smile as he watched you go join the others.

“You got it.”

[smolchildren-ily]

CAREFUL! VERY GRAPHIC AT TIMES!!!! Can be triggering for people who lost pets :(

Yesterday you crossed the rainbow bridge. Susi. A name I gave you just for fun. You, a random cat who kept stopping by and who ended up having her on basket on our terrace, sheltered from the wind underneath the table. You, who, without me knowing, grew really attached to my heart. I bought food for you passionately, I did, as weird as it may sound, I was eager to go shopping for you and I was so happy every time I could feed you because I saw how happy it made you. Unlike our two 'actual' cats who just ever complain, dont eat up or just straight up leave the food the way we put it in the bowl. I would be even happier when I could give you their leftovers because it meant you would have an extra full belly that day. I made sure to always provide you with dry food, too, always filled up the bowl when it was empty - which it was a lot, but a handful of other cats come by, too, I know. Also your brothers, or at least those who I call your brothers, because often times after I would have given you food you licked it a bit and then vanished just to return with Oliver and "Lackl" behind you. I felt like you always made sure they also got a full belly, even more than you yourself, actually, and that is the reason why you kept getting them. Now, with you gone, they have no more lead, and they will never know where you disappeared to or why their beloved sister left them. I feel so sorry for them, too. But they still stop by, just an hour ago both came here together. I will feed them in your stead. I will give them one pack extra, the pack that used to be for you. I loved you so much and I didnt even realize until I saw you motionless, like you were sleeping, in the absolute middle of the street in front of our house, but hidden behind big bushes so I couldn't see you. I couldn't help you. When the lady with the dog came and asked me who owns a fluffy, grey-black cat and that she would be out on the street, dead. You were already dead. Already dead. Blood poured from your mouth, and from your mouth only. A small puddle had formed under your head. Thick, cherry red blood. When I... When I picked up your body later that day, in the evening, to... to... to take you to the most heartbreaking, unholy and disgusting place, unworthy of any loved animal or animal at all, actually, because my mum didnt want you in her garden next to her beloved cat, I realized. I realized that you had only been dead for a maximum of 30 to 60 minutes. The 30 to 60 minutes I had just gotten up. I think it was late that I got up, either at 9.5 or 8.5 or maybe it was 8.14 after all. And because I felt it was so late, I was so surprised not to see you in front of the door already, like I saw you every day. Every day, for, I dont actually know how long. I dont know for how long I've known you. I dont think it was very long, but I dont remember. I just know that you were suddenly just t h e r e. Because, your brothers, they had actually visited us even before you started coming to our house. And then one day they brought you and you stayed.

You weren't there yesterday morning, and I didnt think about it much. It sometimes happened that you needed to catch on as to that I was awake - usually by my steps or latest when I opened the blinds of the kitchen window which faces the garden and the direction that we believe you stemmed from. So I went to open the blinds and sat bored beside my other cat and watched her eat, as I have to do because otherwise she wont eat often times. And I was looking forward to seeing your small, excited face behind the glass door, and to pet your soft fur. Then watch you eat away and walk into my way to beg for more. When my cat was done, I happily grabbed a pack, a different one from usual, because you had begun to not like the usual, so I wanted to give you a special treat. And I grabbed that pack and skipped to the door, opened it energetically and awaited your absolute immediate arrival and exploding joy over me and the food I was bringing you. You didnt come, which was weird. Somewhat weird, but it had been raining all week, and during rain you seemed to spend a lot of your time somewhere else. Maybe at the place that was originally your home? Your origin is still 50/50 a mystery. My mum says from the farmer where your brothers are from, but I'm not sure. But it must have been the case, because where else would you have come from? A bit run down, skinny. God, you looked so healthy just a couple of days me feeding you. So little days. I was proud you recovered so quickly, unlike your brothers, who seem to be doing very badly all the time. Such soft fur, so sleek.

And the blood was fresh and your limbs were still moving normally when I touched you. That is, later that day, that I realized: If I had gotten up earlier. If I hadn't been so lazy or tired or both. Just, maybe a couple of minutes? Maybe just 15 minutes? Who knows if you would have made it safely across the street to our house. Because you would have heard me open the blinds sooner. And you would have made your way to me sooner, and the car, the driver who was on his way to work, he wouldn't have hit your head, or any other part of you. I was just so happy that you weren't obviously hurt anywhere. Just this blood dripping from your mouth, forming a small puddle under your small, beloved head I loved to pet more than I had realized.

And I wonder, if I hadn't been so lazy or tired, if you would still be here today, and yesterday. Or if it already happened before I got up. While I was still... I wasnt sleeping, I was awake. As always, as usual. My cat always wakes me up in the middle of the night and or I just wake up at 5 or 6 or 7. Usually I stay in bed until 8, in any of those cases. But I stayed longer than 8 even, and if I had just gotten up. I wonder, could I have helped you? But I wouldt have seen you, hidden behind the big bushes, outside on the street.

The lady vet who was very busy but was one of the only ones who answered my call told me if a car hit her on the head she was probably immediately dead. Or wherever you were hit. I hope. I hope. I hope you were. Were... you know, immediately. Without pain. I wish that you died loving me and looking forward to seeing me again and to receive pets. And I will give them to you, and all the food and all the hugs you want, once we meet again. Because I hope we meet again, I dearly do, seldom have I hoped so intensely for heaven to exist. I realized that the older I get, the harder it becomes to say goodbye, to lose someone. Up until this day I believed it would become EASIER. Easier, because by an old age, you would have been through so much already. Lost so many people, so many cats. But I realize it's not and I dread the days I have to say goodbye to our other cats, to any cat, actually, to any animal. I will not be thinking about people at this time, because it is too soon. To soon, to soon, to soon. As it was too soon for you. I love you so much.

Given we have somewhat a neighbour hassle I put my mind to try to find a vet who would examine your body. To make sure you weren't poisoned, because I couldn't see any visible injuries on you. Just this little, thick puddle of cherry red blood underneath your mouth. So many vets only opened in the late afternoon, so many were on holiday, so many only opened again on Monday. But I found this lady vet, and whilst having a patient on the table she hurryliy told me that, if I found you in the middle of the road, it was most likely car. And you were probably dead. You know. What I hope you was. For your sake. And for my sake. I dont want to talk about it anymore. I love you.

After this lady vet, who said that she technically does examine bodies, but who seemed somewhat reluctant and like the result was clear anyway, I called who I was going to call in the first place: the animal clinic 40 minutes from us. I wasnt keen on being with... a body, because that is what you were at that point, a body. With a body in the car for 40 minutes, but I was gonna do it, just to know, just to make sure that t h i s o n e t i m e I would actually k n o w what happened to my cat. So I would know and not wonder for the rest of my life: What happened? What went wrong? Could I have done something? Do I need to guard our other cats? But I was going to do it.

The lady who picked up this time was very friendly. She caught on almost immediately that I'd just lost a cat, and after she called me back to tell me that poison leaves the body too quickly to get usable results and that it would be a few hundred euro to have this analysis done, told me she wished me all the best and if I have any questions I should call. She was the first person that day - yesterday, it was just yesterday. But it felt like a nightmare, and it feels long ago already. A nightmare I want to forget, but I dont want to forget you. Susi.

She acknowledge my pain and your death and she consoled me when I had noone else who would do that for me. My parents are on holiday until tomorrow, the one friend who I told about your death literally just replied "I'm so sorry, that's so terrible, crying faces". But I needed more than that. I didnt get it until today when I woke up just as devastated as I was yesterday and went to have lunch with my grandmother, who also knew you. And who liked you, too.

"The green-eyed one" is what she called you. The green-eyed one, because green eyes you had. So beautiful, so big. In German, we like to say "Telleraugen". Eyes as big as plates. She was also visibly devastated. It is always said to tell your old grandmother that another beloved person or animal died. So much pain they have gone through already, and it just keeps getting worse.

But we talked a lot and long about you. And how it happened. Probably happened. And who I suspect to be the murderer. Our immediate neighbours, one of them at least. When I opened the door, shortly after, I heard them leave. The woman left in her white car. But I was just glad she left, I didnt care what direction she drove off to, so I didnt see where she went. I wish I had. And usually she drives into the direction where I found you on the street. May God punish her for her sins, and do so gruelly and painfully. If it was her. Maybe it was him, because later he returned in his old, small motorcycle thing. Maybe it was him. He shall be punished just as hard and gruelly as his girlfriend if it was either of them. And if it wasnt, I wish your murderer the plague and death and a hell of a lot of gruesome pain for the rest of their pitiful life. My first suspicions had been the neighbours who had newly moved here the last couple of years. Some younger people and old people who dont care at all that we have limit here in our village of 30 kmh. Who just never care and race down the hill like they own the place. And then hit a cat that just casually wanted to get her breakfast from a human who loves her very much. I hate all of you spenders, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, and I hate this neighbourhood and I hope everyone here dies a cruel death. Bit most of all, I hope your murderer and all other spenders who put the lives of loved ones at risk, die gruesome and cruel deaths. Just like you had to. I still love you.

Time is progressing, my battery decreasing and it is getting colder. I've written so much by now, but I have so, so much more to talk about. Tomorrow, my arms and fingers will hurt because I typed all of this on my phone. But at least I still have a body and feelings that can hurt me. Unlike you, who is not here anymore.

That day yesterday was so cruelly terrible. Oh my god.

I was so restless the whole day because I didnt know what to do with your body. I put it in the semi-shed/semi-room at the back of our house, where the small greenhouse and the grave of my mother's beloved cat, who was also hit by a car, but out of nowhere after a whopping 7 years of life. The grave which is also there. I had put you in a wooden basket somewhat, onto kitchen roll. For the blood to drip onto. And to make it more comfortable in your death, even though it probably wouldn't have made a big difference, even if you could have, or would have, still felt it. It was a bit too small for you and when I picked you up, you were so heavy, and so motionless, like, and I hate to draw this comparison, but like a sack of potatoes. Heavy and motionless and it was so weird to lift you up without you moving and squirming and trying to get away from me. It was so strange, alien strange, horribly strange. I saw the puddle out of the corner of my eyes but I didnt really see anything and I didnt want to see anything, the lady with the dog just wanted you off the street and that's what I did. I was blind with tears and when I put that wooden basket thing down I saw I hadn't put your head in a too comfortable position so I... I moved you a bit so that your head wouldn't be down at your chest, and your legs moved instead a bit over the rim. Then I squatted there, looking at you. As I do a lot with my other cat. To make sure you really weren't breathing anymore. To discover that you would still be breathing and I could still take you to the vet after all and I would still be able to feed you and pet you, and all would be good. But after staring at you intensely for 2 minutes or so. Blood still dripping a tiny bit out of your mouth, just luckily I didnt have to see that, your head was still moved so that I couldn't really see your face, just mostly your body. But I saw the blood on the kitchen roll expanding. It was seemingly clear that you were. The four letters.

But I didnt really believe it. Not really. Not really so. I went back upstairs to cry, and to do something about my sadness. To call the vets, have you examined, get clearance. To put my sadness to work. And as I sat there at the kitchen table with the phones I still expected you to come running up the stairs, staring into the room and scratching the glass door to have your food. That you just passed out for an hour or two or so and would come back. I really did!

And every shadow I saw out of the corner of my eyes, I thought they were all you, returning from the backside of the houses happily and healthy and excited and quirky as ever. Just your usual self, you know.

But you didnt come, and I was restless. After I had talked to the first lady vet I realized, I decided it was most likely a car that hit you. So at least I knew how it most probably happened. But what do to with your body? And I didnt want to bring you away just yet. Because it was clear to me that I would have to bring her to the most horrible, ungrateful and unworthy of any beloved pet or animal place on earth. Because you weren't my mums favourite, and she wouldn't want you in her garden. But at lunch I asked her anyway. I texted her about that I found you dead in street in the morning, and if I could bury you next to Leeloo to give you the forever home you probably always wanted. Just a little too late.

But my mother said no. Well, not explicitly. But she suggested I take you there, and after I said I didnt want to but it is her garden and her decision. I had to wait another couple of hours, until 6 o'clock in the evening, one of which I spent half asleep in bed with our second cat, because the living still demanded my attention, oblivious of the fact that one of them had just reached the end of their road. Until 6 clock in the evening when she finally replied to take you there.

Up until that point, I had gone back a couple of times to check on you. I sat at the kitchen table knowing flies would be all over your body at some point, because this is not the first time I had to witness the dead body of one of our cats. And I didnt want the flies there so I covered you up with newspapers. Another time I came to you with scissors and an empty box that had stored Qtips, because I wanted something od you to remain with me for the rest of my life. And your fur look so inviting, not flat on your skin but a bit more wildly into the air. So I carefully cut a few tips of your fluffy silkness. The box is sitting in front of me in the book shelf, originally I wanted to bury at least this bit of you in the garden next to the beloved cat. I wanted at least some part of you to have a furever home. And I still do. But I cant do it just yet. It could be that I will just keep it here. But I will definitely put up a stone with writing on it, saying "In love and remembrance of Susi".

Another time, before that, I think, I spent a long while sitting on the tiny stone rim in front of Leeloos grave, because I was pondering if I shouldn't just bury you anyway, despite what my mother says about you. But it was her garden, so I didnt. Just this one time, I wish I had not done as I was told. I wish I hadn't even asked.

But there, in the middle of the path to the grave, there were a bunch of unusally long daisies growing l, and I had the strong desire to put up flowers for Susi. For you. So I picked them and laid them down next to your body.

I think I went down another time, always in "full gear", with heavy boots on because the grass at the backside is usually wet and gross. But you laid on concrete in the semi-room, so no worries. So I went down there just to be with you. Because I still didnt want to believe it. I couldn't believe it. I refused to. I thought if I just spent some more time with you, you would wake back up. I had one of the masks on and one time gloves when I touched you. Which I didnt for the most part.

When I had Google about the poison, many people describe situations like your death. No, sorry, I googled what the blood meant, and that is where I found it could be poison, or even a heart attack, or inner injuries. But these people also described their cats having their eyes open, so I went to check your eyes cause I hadn't seen them. And they were open. Though I only saw one. One side of your face. If your cute, beautiful face. And I tried to close them, it, but almost immediately realized it didnt work, so I gave up. But I wish I could have done at least that for you.

[apocalypto12related]

Do all of them!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

Ye! Sammy! @deziac

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Um... My family, probably, and no.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Kitty! I love kitties!

4: what’s something you really want right now?

an apartment. on a less serious side, um, glasses???

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

Nope! I already have and since we’re poly im sure i will again owo

6: do you like the beach?

so/so. depends on my mood.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

um... a pull out sofa, does that count? i have a hard time sleeping unless i can fully lie down.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

my old phone was tony my new phone is space. not sure what it’ll be soon. >w>;; considering i need to redownload all the stuff i got off tumblr. :’( i lost all my snapchat stuff, but i moved all of izaya to my computer so that’s fine.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

what??? O_o; um... a homeless shelter’s bed and other than that they were all my own??? (not counting the “bed” made of sheets at the one place.)

10: do you like your phone?

i just got a new one!! uwu It has 32GB with it’s own internal storage and I have a 32GB sd card. nwn;; So I have a lot of space~! plus it has a fingerprint sensor and im in love with unlocking it like that owo

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

prolly not, but when do they?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

sammy! bc we both got new phhones!

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

i heard poodles have bad temperaments!! idk about rottweilers!! whichever one is nicer??/

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional!! physical heals!! short time span for pain! emotional might not go away!

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

DONt mmake me chosoelk??! i love both!!! i lovemy fluffy butts and i went to the met in new york!!! it was so cool!!! swords!! armor!! egypt!! aahhhh!!! i cant choose!!

16: are you tired?

im always tired!!!

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

um... well it’s sammy

so uh, ten years in march owo (technically december was the first time we met!! but we count it as march since that’s when he started talking rly)

18: are they a relative?

no!!

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

it depends on if they changed their personality!! if not then no!! i mean i did get back with sammy but yknow we just count that as a break since we did actually get back together lmao

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

this morning!! she is at work so she’s not too talkative rn!

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

we’re fine with what we’re at!! i don’t need to marry her to make it ‘official’!! we’ve lasted almost 9 years and through some big hardships!! both of us unmedicated and dealing with new medication changes, so i think we’re fine!!

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

of course!! :P

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

two!! my blue sylveon bracelet (i love sylveon, i would wear umbreon but i think i packed it!!!) and my pride rainbow bracelet! i took them off when we were looking for a shelter bc i was scared we’d get denied if they saw obvious gay signs :(

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

not directly!! something along the lines of that there is no set path in life you have to choose which ways you want to twist and turn and they’ll lead you onto new and bigger things.

25: what’s on your mind?

music! stuff for my phone! i have a lot of stuff i need to add to eeet!! it’s only a day oolllddd.

26: do you have any tattoos?

yes! it’s for my kitty who passed away! Her name was luna. I’m sure i’ve posted a picture somewhere.

27: what is your favorite color?

#00C5FF

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

prolly tonight. owo

29: who are you texting?

Sammy owo

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

probably?? lol what.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

YES ACTUALLY D: idk if it happened any other time, but when we got into the car accident when I told our one friend we were joking about her coming up and hanging with us all my brain said was ‘You shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ and again when we went out to the car and it was pretty heavy snow fall. I was like ‘I shouldn’t go.’ my problem with that one was I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t think ‘we shouldn’t go’. but... what can you do now?

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

um. i don’t think i have a super close opposite sex friend. closest would probably be @h0bsyrup

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I’m sure Sammy does. >w> I’m not sure otherwise. My followers don’t tell me that stuff.

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes omg. Sammy was staring me in the eyes the other day and was like ‘your eyes are pretty’ and i’m like ‘omfg shut up >//

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

if they’re not dating then she’s gonna punch their lights out, so i don’t have to worry.

36: were you single on valentines day?

November 24th, 2008 is when I started dating Sammy. You tell me.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

... of course?? wtf is with these kiss questions.

38: what do your friends call you?

Kiki :D

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

lil bit.

40: have you ever cried over a text?

Um... probably. I can’t remember.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

omg... um i guess undermy belly button is the latest bruise??? i have a lot atm from surgery and being motionless for four days!!

42: what is it from?

Sammy actually like harshly pushed on that area. like when you go to land somewhere with your full weight then you go ‘oh fuck’ yeah.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

um... recently??? but i guess not as bad as with my mom.

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

Sammy owo

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Nah.

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No.my hair style is like 99% bun.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

i dont follow trends i set them.

48: do you make supper for your family?

not recently but i would for sammy and i usually

49: does your bedroom have a door?

i don’t have a “bedroom” atm e.e

50: top 3 web-pages?

tambo.c0m (tumblr), archiveofourown.org (ao3), youtube.com (the three i use the most anyway)

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Sammy. xD at least food shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?

Abdomen. (:

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

it depends. if it’s unnecessary then prolly. if they’ve fucked me over idc. (i.e. my family trying to replace my mom’s abusiveness, fuck them.)

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

prolly water owo

55: how is your hair?

it’s feeling fine, thank you for asking!

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

it depends! if it’s my “morning” i wake up and usually bathroom.

57: do you think two people can last forever?

sure but it takes work. it’s not gonna be perfect 24/7 without communication or compromise.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

ye. omfg why would you give me nightmares. that’s when i started the rping side of myspce and met that douche wesley. his lying ass made me start self harming. fuck him.

59: green or purple grapes?

i don’t eat grapes .w.;;

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

sometime in the future! prolly sammy!

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

in an apartment. >w> or at the pompeii exhibit!!!

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

possibly today

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

lying in bed. :D

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

struggling to be alive. (eating chocolate chip muffins)

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

oh god. w8 no. i didn’t like anyone yet. that started like october or shit. ugh my ex. he became an ass. (aside from sammy obvs)

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

sammy!!

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

um... i don’t think so. i think we were both too tired and stressed. we didn’t get into bed until like 1 and the shelter has us be out of beds by 8:30 x3x;

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

um... ‘i should go back to sleep’ after waking up a third time and distracting myself with the phone

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yeah,but at least i tried.

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

it’s not *my* computer, so it doesn’t count! ;D (8 but im downloading music stfu)

71: how many fingers do you have?

i have 10. my one pinky counts as a half finger sometimes though. i broke it and bc i didnt have insurance i never went to a doctor to get it fully take care of so it healed up all wrong.

72: what is your ringtone?

default at the moment!

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

oh fuck i’ll be 24. man if you asked me that back in june i’d be like ‘still 23 (;’ but no. my bday is december

74: where is your mum right now?

She passed away. :/

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

I realize that as much as I wanted to believe it was love, it never fully blossomed into that until I was with Sammy. I don’t think I’ve truly ever gotten to love anyone else, but that’s okay.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

of course owo sammy and i are hella gay don’t u know.

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

i believe so owo we just don’t talk as much bc im a lazy sack of shit.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

fuck. i think i had a minor crush on some dude who also liked green day but never fuckin talked to me so i never bothered. that might’ve also technically been when i started liking wesley. does billie joe from green day count?

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

personally? uh.... i’m not totally sure o-o; fuck me man.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

probably wait yes. sammy. spooning is our fave position.

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

e.e no one that wasn’t a celebrity. 

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

no bc shelter e.e

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

:P i talk to them everyday.

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

i wouldn’t get drunk! i wouldn’t scream at ppl! that’s rude! ppl usually can’t even hear you when you yell at the window! we hear ‘whoosh’ with your voice in the middle’

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

i would be concerned since she’s said she doesn’t like them!!

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um... oh! a conversation started and a lil girl asked if we were in a certain theatre and I said ‘no we were in theatre blah’ so I asked what they went and saw. She said “Wonder Woman” “hey we just came out of that, too!” :P

87: who was your last received call from?

.3.; sammy

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

i-i’m torn??? i needm oney but poor butter-san... ;____;

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

money. clothes maybe

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeah. lmao.

91: do you sleep with your window open?

i usually do! esp in the winter/summer! need air and love cold!

92: do you get along with girls?

ye!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

no. owo

94: does sex mean love?

no! sex is something that can bring someone closer, but it is not necessary for a relationship! 

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

>3>;;; again, no.

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

owo; indirectly. i shared a drink with someone who had one. xD

97: did you sleep alone this week?

not this week! :D last week. ;~; at the hospital.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes. >3>

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

no!!! that’s not love!! you might end up loving them but you can’t love someone unless you know them!! :c otherwise it’ll lead to some bad decisions!! D:

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

OwO Sammy I think.

[cheswirls]

i have so many thoughts and its about 430 am so lets get started before they get scrambled.

i decided to read red potter and the middleground, but because i finished one so early in the morning, i had to hold off on the other for a bit, until this -past, i guess- evening. i had read for sure a chapter of the middleground previously, maybe two, but i’ve read too much now that the recollection isn’t coming to me like it came in small bursts through reading through chapter one again. i think it was another instance when i got extremely busy and had to put it down, maybe tac2 took over, dunno, but i got back to it now bc im still on the post-playthrough-of-white high and anything deep in unova is good and lu is fantastic so i knew this would be fantastic and is was right.

it’s a very dark read? unexpected, then again, its centered around a war, so also i shouldve expected it. the realization hit me around the third chapter, i think, when the nimbasa incident happened. very dark and very good. and emotional, i dunno how many times ive cried tonight but its been a night/twilight. the whole story basis with the center legend of unova and all the olden history is really good, its all really boosting my unova high like this is exactly what ive been needing to find, and all the characters it brings in despite the animeverse of it all -benga, n, touko!!- and the roles they play just really made it better, its kind of shallow but i like it even moreso because of the additions and though the story kept me highly entertained and drawn in there were a couple moments when i wished like oh man i hope the story has n in it bc n man jus n i need n content and then bam mentioned and now hes officially in it sort of i mean yeah he is. in the story. and this was early on like during the first few chapters so i had to hold out but it was worth it like, the story is interesting with the anime characters and i knew it was gonna be aniverse going into it and it was good and fine and still is good and fine. 

i dont remember when i started wishing for touko but man oh man it happened and i was like damn this could happen i wish she was kinda here bc i think i had begun to pick up on something and then later i really picked up on it which i will get to later and them bam another happy revelation and i am still like. touko. shes here. shes a part of the story. this is awesome.

anyway before this gets too long to massively too long, this is basically going to be a big analysis and happy-rant post, so if you have not read the middleground by the amazing @pkmncoordinators, you should do so here but then like leave this post until you do and then come back, that would be good. the rest is under a cut to save peoples dashes, sorry this is mega long already aha.

i played ghetsis’ battle theme through a chapter and it mustve been a shorter one bc it lasted me -30min- near the entire chapter. maybe the one beginning w the drayden and alder talk? or the dragonspiral tower one? or maybe theyre the same, its been a long night of binging this entire work. anyway. it set the mood for whatever chapter like i intentionally was like oh this theme is a little foreboding lets play it. and i had it down so low sometimes i could only hear the percussions to it, but it was still there, setting the tone.

otherwise, i found myself only keeping to n music. maybe there were a couple plays of unova e4, way in the very beginning of the first/second chapters, maybe, but for the most part, i kept with n’s songs. the bridge, some, the castle and battle theme, a lot. some renditions of such in b2w2 style. i tried to play through the music of n’s room in the castle, but i had to stop after a little into it, maybe ten minutes, because it was getting all these feelings out of me and i felt like if i played it all i would ‘tire it out’, so to speak, even though that hasnt happened w any of the tracks thus far, but i really want that to be a special one i  have on to draw inspiration from. later into the night/morning, whenever, i did decide to try out a remix of it via the b2w2 track of the same theme. the tune is in a slightly different pitch, but more than that, it gets distorted, almost corrupted, throughout and differentiates itself that way from the original, so i did end up playing through that no problem. i cant recall now if i ever played a theme back to back, i think i switched after the 30min was over, which, understandable, it’d been looping for half an hour. but i think i did play it again maybe once, which is fine. good.

but enough with music meta. its interesting, maybe thats where the draws of ‘where’s n?’ came from, but its not the focus.

oooh boy lets talk about various things that i will address here bc its 5am now and i need to not lose track. the n thing. um. the touko revelations. remember liberty, because the truth will set you free. the hero of truth. the opening chapter remarks. the possible sourgrapes. the viewpoints thing. there is probably more i will get to later in a different post but these are the current things for the morning.

first i wanna talk abt touko, hilda, whatever. small note so i dont appear brash, to ppl who dont really follow my content, i just dont really like the names hilda and hilbert. hilda is slowly growing on me, but missy always called the protag touko, and it really grew on me, and i live the name now, so thats what i always defer to her as. jus a preference thing.

so, i had no idea and i had every idea. oh my god. lu, you are so good at the foreshadowing stuff, serious. a master at it. i didnt pick up on the nimbasa trainer mention, or maybe i did but its been long ago now and i dont remember it. if she appeared before then i already dont remember the callback to it, oops. anyway. it was after that, for sure, if not before, that i did pick up on the brunette trainer and thought ‘damn if that was touko tho thatd be so rad’. really thinking it was in the electronic store in striaton, but that seems so far away from nimbasa like there mustve been something in between but i dont think so? so that. and then in the next, black city? abt the brunette trainer watching the tv, and i think i had the same thought except it was during ghetsis’ speech so between both moments brunette trainer was mentioned. i think i picked up on the repeated mentions of brunette trainer when she and iris locked eyes to see her also packing to leave the center. it was a thought more along the lines of ‘brunette trainers seem to be standing out to me more or are i guess being detailed more than other trainers’ than out of suspicion. i was picking up the repeated characteristic, but more of the notion that it was being named over and over, instead of anything real behind it. like, okay, there are a lot of brown haired trainers around, that works.

it was maybe in icirrus if that was the next thing, i tried to look and think i confirmed that was the next thing based on the recall conversation, so yes. in icirrus, my memory is really failing me sorry!!, somewhere, the first mention or maybe if that first mention was the brunette trainer across the hall in another room, my mind clicked. and it was like, oh, this brunette trainer might actually be all the same person. and i started to think again, wow, what if that person was touko bc i was really passionate abt it and i couldnt come up with who else bc i didnt have the focus i was still actively reading the store yknow? if was nothing about the being followed, i had to wait for the others to catch on and tell the reader before i got that aha. but i did! get! the touko part. it was when iris woke up from the comatose and all those scenes started playing out, maybe she mentioned not disturbing the others or cilan when they were talking, or georgia when she ran off, or something abt the trainer in another room, or a revelation dawned i guess somewhere in those scenes. and i was like oh my god that has to be touko god wow. im really losing my original train of thought i apologize. still recovering from sickness, and the whole long night thing. so something along that thought, but then it sorta got forgotten bc shit got real w virgil and the truth seekers being there, and i didnt recall again until she approached cilan during the counter sheidl -niiiiice throwback, by the way- training, and i was like !!!!!!!!!!!! that HAS to be touko and then she led him away and the whole scene played out and i remember scanning the page briefly, jus flicking my eyes over to see if i saw the namedrop and didnt, so i got entranced in the scene and then benga was like ‘hilda get the other three’ and TOUKO!!!!! WAS THERE OMG!!!! like confirmed, in the flesh, it was great its great what a great thing to add wow. and then the recall conversation happened and i began to pick up and was like wow they were being followed and didnt even remember the brunette trainer mentioned in nimbasa, barely remembered someone with a samurott led the charge to put out the fires, so that was a surprise. of course, that was such an intense scene, and i remember having a small breakdown around then bc burgundy said something about how she couldve been in one of those rooms and that chilled her and it sent me wild bc it was scary to think about, it really was chilling, this story really is dark che wow. 

so i was proud of myself for picking up on that, the touko thing, but i probably wouldve been in the dark completely had i read it and not recently played through white and mind being constantly on that region and those characters right now. 

that was super long. um. next thing is liberty bc i can remember it. the line is, im pretty sure, just remember liberty, because the truth will/can set you free. and its really only because im so into unova right now, but back at the first chapter today, my mind immediately picked up ‘oh liberty island’. except its not island, its liberty garden-island, thing, but still. the liberty just connected, and i had it, and so like when iris busted out like hey we’re not flying to nimbasa we’re going to liberty garden i was like yh guys cmon take a hint. but i really think it was probably creative and thought-provoking to others, a bit of a twister, to liek other readers like this isnt a callout on an easy riddle, jus a notion i picked up on easily. actually i remember the castelia thing confusing me, but there was also some disconnect because the liberty line want being used, it was just being mentioned that everyone seeking the seekers was heading to castelia, like the two were never paired i dont recall of. and it happened every time. i was like okay yes theyre at libery garden, then castelia was mentioned and i was like okay theyre at castelia. they never really crossed so they never crossed in my mind. it wasnt until the group landed in castelia i think that my mind connected, ah yes, liberty garden is off the coast of the city. i do wonder how plasma figured it out though. i think earlier speculation was on the touko-n relationship compromising the location, though im not sure how that would work in the first place, so it seems more likely someone jus picked up on the insinuation like i did, jus made the connection, tho i dunno who.

really quick hero of truth revelation thing. it took me a couple reads to grasp, like iris realized something cilan didnt but he went away and it took me, i had to read it over a few times because she realized something so therefore the readers have to realize as well, and then i made the connection that cilan was related to the hero of truth therefore making him the hero of truth. that couldve been phrased better unless cress and chili are somehow included which i think not, too many motifs, but the point comes across. i might not have made the connection had i not read earlier in the day about iris slipping cilan reshiram’s pokeball, something i stumbled upon before i started reading the entire thing oops so maybe that was a giveaway that helped me work through it, maybe i just connected based on the ancestor stuff, dunno. 

i still havent figured out whos writing the chapter intros and its getting to me!! i dunno if we’re supposed to know yet, at first i felt like cilan, and then a vague collection of others, maybe trip with the camera capture in black city, and then maybe touko at the end tho i feel like something was mentioned that was confidential and that she wouldn’t have known about. then again i suppose sharing stories and then recounting could come into play, in which case benga could also be writing them.. i dont’ feel like its someone currently irrelevant, tho. like, i don’t think it’s luke, or bianca, or someone kinda disconnected like that. its probably a spoiler for you to say whom, which okay, fair, but i hope someone signs off on the intros in the last chapter, or that theres something to pick up on to discover it ourselves, or maybe its not important, but i really gotta know eventually.

someone mentioned days ago about something like not being into wishfulshipping and then something about sourgrapes was mentioned, i really dont remember that well, but i started to pick up on it throughout, especially with all the camping scenes, and remembering you liked sourgrapes so much, and is it possible to confirm that thats a ship in this fic? or, has a possibility? i think i’m picking up on it, but it could be friendship, im not sure.

these next two are the last two for now i think. first, viewpoints, because this story delves into such a cast of characters and i think the same story told from the viewpoint of others would be so interesting, like told through the eyes of benga or touko, or even elesa possibly, and if you ever like wanna divulge in that or after you get done wouldnt mind someone taking a shot at it and working with for accuracy reasons, that would be pretty cool. and you have your first volunteer.

second and last is the n thing. i think a little is just meta, which i want to make a full post on later in time, so this may or may not tie in not sure. just, real brief, isn’t n such an interesting character? i really just, i dunno if i like him like i like others, but i really find his dynamic interesting. keeping it short, bc meta, the boy really grew up differently than a “normal” human. the proper socialization was there, sort of, because he can walk and speak and was educated like hes a math geniusa nd stuff, but he wasn’t socially educated. a lot of people dont realize the two are different, i didnt until i took an intro to sociology course this past fall semester. anyway tho. he really wasnt socially educated, and you can see that through all representations -cant speak for spe actually i havent read the arc yet- even in the anime, though far less likely than i would have liked, having rewatched the n arc a few days ago. the disconnect from people is there. n had tutors, but other than that he was in a room with his only company being pokemon formerly abused by people. that was it. not even normal pokemon, but those he had to gain the trust of first because they were misled by trainers. he doesn’t really know how to act with people. he talks fast, hes very blunt, he doesnt know the meaning of personal boundaries, et cetera. he was, practically, raised in a cult. led to believe only the cult’s beliefs. and its only through getting out of his room and around unova, at least in the game, that he begins to develop his own thouhgts and ideas and morals, that he begins to doubt what hes been preached his whole life. this is getting a bit like so im gonna cut, but i just, n is such an interesting character. the tie in. already, in the tv announcement, his voice is ethereal and i could picture it, could play the sound in my mind based off the anipoke and the gens voices, because both of those are genuinely how n sounds to me, i can see it perfectly it just works like there is no other voice for him. i could picture that when he spoke. and already, with the dreamy, far-off gaze, and it hardening, i can see his characterization is going to be so great in the middleground, and im so excited. i recently finished a fic where his characterization to me was absolutely perfect, and even as it evolved, that standard didnt diminish, because the evolution was so seamless and good that the changes to him felt right, felt realistic.

im realizing now this sounds like a do-good-or-there-will-be-consequences thing, which is not my intention. im just, i really wanted a story with n, one i knew would be good, and the middleground is it at the moment. and i know youll do a good job because i liked tac so much, which featured n, and already its the little things with middleground!n that are already so good, and this was really just me saying thank you and i cant wait, and so thank you and i cant wait for more. i cant wait to see more of n, no matter how small a role, or how big iunno, he plays, its already so good for such a complex character with such a grey background. morally grey, ethically grey, realistically grey, just grey. 

all in all, the middleground is amazing so far, i love it so so much, and once again, i cant wait for more. thank you for such an amazing piece thus far, lu. its past 6am now so its taken me a bit to get through this post, i hope the majority makes sense. and i cant wait to see what comes next with the story.

[1a-little-obsessed1-blog]

School with the MAGCON boys pt 1

hey im Zahra. im 15 born and brought up in London, England. my father travels alot for work which means i have to go with him, my mother isnt here with me anymore she died while giving birth to me but ive learnt to stop thinking bout her as much...im proud of my father, although i may have been an accident he doesn't treat me like one, he treats me amazingly he’s been there for me through thick and thin, hes taught me so much and when we’re traveling from country to country ive been enrolled in so many classes, including self defense classes to help myself become a stronger female as a whole. I have the grades of a high level collage students so im basically never behind on my studies. my father had me at age 17 with my mum who was 16 at the time, they had the most beautiful love story yet so real, my father a man of his word, a gentleman he charmed my mother and they had me. after i was born my father didnt know what to do so i lived with my grandparents most of my life seeing my father come home from school tired but he always smiled when he saw me.

more on school. I was moving to a highschool in Chicago,i was looking forward to it but i felt that i would be very left out, i was the dork. my hair was black, long, thick and wavy with a few red highlights, my eyes were dark and my lashes were long. i had a very petite body, tiny waist and small hips. i was a decent height only 5′7ft  one could cal me innocent and i agree its ture heck i haven't even had my first kiss yet!

the school i went to was more of a local school with the usual crownds from what i could tell. There were the Jocks, popular bitchy girls, the nerds, emo’s and the “freaks”. i walk in with my Dad i wore blue jeans, a white top, bomber jacket, white vans, a small hand bag and my huge geeky glasses. i didnt wear much make up just a bit of eyeliner and highlighter. We were given a tour of the school, it wasnt that big but i knew i was still gonna get lost.

i get to my first lesson late. as always. I knock on the door and enter. “oh, and who must you be sweetie?” said the teacher at the front. 

“hello, im Zahra im new here.” i say, my British accent standing out.

“ok hunny! go have a seat and ill be right with you im Miss Dina,”

I Nod and take a seat at the back. that was the only available seat. i adjust my glasses and get a pen, pencil and ruler out of my bag. i look around realizing there were a few familiar faces. That’s when it hit me, i realized there were a few viners here, Matthew Espinosa, Jack J and Shawn Mendes. i look to my left and  felt a tingly sensation in my stomach as i took a closer look at who sat right beside me. Nash Grier. OMFG i felt really shy but then i snapped out of my shock and returned to what the teacher was saying.”Now Class who can Name the three enzymes needed for digestion along with their uses?”

my hand shot right up in the air without me thinking. “Yes Zahra?”

“the first enzyme is Carbohydrase this breaks down starch and sugar, the second is  Protease this breaks down proteins and lastly is lipase this breaks downs Fats and Lipids.”

“Excellent!”

i felt everyone’s eyes piercing at me i could feel my face slowly becoming a tomato. i felt really panicky and queasy, my panic attacks were bad but i didnt need one now of all times, ive barley been in the classroom 20 mins. i started to lower my adrenaline levels and i slowly returned to my normal state. I was given an exercise book to write in but i didnt need it. my grades were amazing and i already knew all of this. but i still wrote as much as i could. it was about 5 mins until the lesson was over so i started packing my things up.i  reaching my bag and looked at my planner, it was a small planner but it was sentimental to me it had pictures of me and my classmates in France, Germany, Beijing and Poland. I missed them but i cant get attached to people too quickly. its not good for me at all. I flip through the pages to see if i had any empty time slots that’s when  i saw a particular name pop up (my dad writes stuff in here to keep me on track) says the Jhonson family are coming for a meeting. i mean it was cool but i was praying that it wasn’t the family of the person who i think it is. I her my pencil drop on the floor and i lean under the table to look for it. “uh.. here.” i look up and Nash was holding the pencil. i take it from him and put it in my bag. “Thanks...”

“So your british?”

“yeah. well i havn’t seen London in 6 years...” I reply.

“ what do you mean?” he asked me.

“I Travel alot, so i go to a few different schools in different countries, but im usually home schooled if my dad is free.”

the bell rings and our class was dismissed. I head out of the classroom and start walking through the hallway, i see a crowd of guys. i push through them minding my own business before i hear a few murmers. “Thats the new chick!” another voice said “Damn she looks finee” i hear another say “She’s probably a hoe” i feel anger build up inside me waiting to be released. but i just keep walking faster and faster. 

----Later----

It’s lunch time and im alone. So much for being socially awkward. I had a lunch packed in my bag, Salad and water along with a small can of pringles. i look for somewhere to sit but everywhere was taken... i felt like shit but then again Having no one to leave is better than having a ton of friends who ill have to say goodbye to. I feel a light tap on my shoulder i turn around and see a girl she looked a little older than me but definitely around 16 or 17. she had curly hair and freckles.”Hey! I haven’t seen you around are you new..?” she says with a bit of cheer in her voice. “Why yes im Zahra, and you are?” i ask her. “My name is Mahogany LOX im 16 you ca Call me LOX, your accent is adorable!!”she squeals. “Thanks...” i say. “come sit with me and Shawn.” 

I followed her to a table where she sat down next to Shawn. she introduced me to him and we all were like bestfriends.. the vibes they were giving out were so warm and positive. I talked to them about life and school and about who i am and what i like to do. i felt like i could talk to them for hours. We ended up swapping numbers at the end of lunch. my last lesson of the day was calculus which meant more stuff i already knew. 

----end of the day----

it seemed like Mahogany and Shawn got along with everyone but i seemed to be the awkward one. i was walking out to the parking lot of the school when im approached by Jack G. “Hello there...” 

“Uh.. hi?” i say

“So you wanna met up some time late and go to my place?” he says with an arrogant tone.

“Sorry im not Netflix and chill sessions and by the way i dont think im gonna let you into my pants that quickly.” I say.

he attempts to put his arms aroung my waist before my fighting instincts kick in and i grab his hand and twist it. he   shrieked in pain and moved aside.

“So i see your playing hard to get...” he says with a little bit of annoyance in his voice.

“No i just dont fall for fuckboys like you.” i walk to my bike and cycle home.

i get home and put my helmet on a little table by the front door. “PaPa are you home?!” i shout across the house.

“im in the kitchen hunny! go put something nice on we have guests coming over!” My dad says.

“Ok dad but promise me you wont bring up anything to do with my grades” i say.

“how can  i not when i have such an amazing daugher?” he asks.

“whatever dad im going upstairs see ya in 5 mins”

i run up to my room and look through my cupboard. i choose a pastel blue dress with a pair of black tights and i put my hair up in a pony tail leaving my fringe out.. i run downstairs and join my dadin the kitchen. i sit on a chair and watch him cook. “so how was your first day?” he asks.

“a bit awkward at first but actually pretty good. and i made two friends.” i say with a little grin on my face.

“Any boys?” he asks with a bit of sarcasm in his tone.

“Dad if there were i would’ve told you, but as i said for the millionth time, guys aren’t into me im ugly.” my cheer went down and he turned around and hugged me.

“my beautiful girl is growing up thinking she’s ugly? im a terrible father!!!”

“No papa your an amazing dad!”

“My baby girl is growing up... i will always love you. you look just like your mother. you know that right?” i see his eyes glisten with tears.

“I know dad... i know. now dont cry otherwise im gonna get emotional!” i say trying to put a little bit of humor into the situation.

“Well i thnk ive passed on the wrong genes. have fun dealing with being an emotional wreck.” i see him smiling and i giggle.

the door bell rings and i run to answer the door and i see a woman with a smile on her face standing there holding the hand of who i presume was her husband, and right there i saw...Jack.

“Mr and Mrs Jhonson?” i plastered a fake smile and shook their hands. my dad came from no where and escorted them to the dining room. I walk tot the dining room and get my phone out before my dad starts speaking. “This is my daughter Zahra shes just been enrolled iin our local Highschool.”

“She’s in my biology class” Says Jack. 

i look up and look back down at my phone and start texting Mahogany.but no reply. i go up to my room and sit downon the windowsill as i watch the clouds slowly shift out of sight. i sit there for about 20 min until i hear knocking on the door.i walk over to the door and open it. “Hey..” jack said leaning on the door frame. 

“What do you want?” i say slightly annoyed.

“just wanna chill...” he says trying to act cool.

“Well i have better things to do and besides do you really wanna end up like your friend or worse?” i say slamming the door.

---- 2 hours later ----

Finally they’re gone and now i can return to my normal life. i get ready for bed and put on my “more revealing” night wear on. i fall asleep at 9:30 setting alarm for 6:30.