#but i did say i dont want views i just want to inflict MY views on others

[maid-of-the-golden-deer]

video essays id like to make (not to get popular just bc i have many Inconsequential Opinions and some are better voices than written and as of rn i have literally no one to rant to) at some nebulous future time:

1) how dimitri fireemblem fails to fill the role he was written for and how ppl have used him as a tool for fandom misogyny and racism, 2) the missed potential of okuyasu and the groundwork araki laid and failes to follow up on, 3) criticizing nintendo and gamefreak is good and important but you have to remember the pokemon mainline games are, in fact, made for young children and not you, An Adult Who Only Engages With Your Childhood Franchises Because Youre Afraid To Branch Out, 4) what weve lost abandoning episodic tv, and finally, 5) the underestimated detective: christie, columbo, fletcher, and rian johnson

[princescar]

Gonna talk about my favorite song (Android Girl) as my favorite ship ever (Matsunashi) dont mind me (I need it, my life has been HELL this past week)

Im going to do my fave Eng cover lyrics first, then im gonna pull the two choruses and the second verse from the official eng translation. Also im gonna look at this song from the perspective of my boy Yasuke.

[let's make a paradise for only us two,

can you believe i ended up with you?

"c'mon and stay, you never come around..."

this jealous give and take make memories we hate so you can sing out loud]

I feel like this is a FANTASTIC beginning, not only for the actual song, but to establish Matsushima. They were each others WORLD, they wanted to live their entire life with the other. But its also that give and take. They sacrifice so much of themselves for the other and they still feel unbalanced, especially with how Yasuke constantly feels used but acknowledges that Junko was always there when nobody else was. This also gives Yasuke the need to keep Ryoko at arms length, unsuccessfully.

[hurting me, hurting you, over and over

we said we would stop, but it was all talk, a lie to one another

we hide the truth with wordplay and rhyme

a secret language you won't get just by looking into our eyes]

This truly represents both Yasuke's constant cruel words, and sometimes actions, but also Junko's need to inflict despair onto the ones she loves. But at the same time, its their game. Its their way of communicating with one another. Yasuke says that it took up until the tragedy to realize how obsessed with despair Junko actually was, and to me that reads as though he viewed her inflicting despair onto him like how he inflicts cruel words onto her. He never truly means those things, and he thought Junko didn’t either. Its their secret game, their language.

[this love that has slowly rotted away

hidden by the delusion tax we pay

wake up, hey!

when will you realise?]

Not much here, but I definitely see this as Yasuke realizing that their love is no way healthy, and he wants her to recognize that. Even though they will never do anything to fix it.

[android girl, you're making me lose my mind!

i don't know who you are anymore its as if you were never mine

yet i, yet

i believed in you all this time]

Yasuke losing his mind by the end of Dr0, all thanks to Junko (AKA Android Girl). By the end, he literally feels like he never knew her and that she was just using him for her own benefit. Even when all HIS feelings were genuine. He spent most of his life truly believing that Junko loved him, and that belief is totally shattered by the time he dies.

[android girl, how long have i felt this way?

the kiss i shared with you was so painful that it took my breath away

i know, although

we restart, we fall apart together, what we have will drag on in this way forever!]

I see the first lyric both as how long has Yasuke loved her, but also how long has he hated her. I can see him asking himself when resentment began to grow and how did he manage to love a person like Junko. The kiss line also will forever remind me of the kiss scene between them, and how she uses poison in her lipstick to paralyze him. The last line, i personally prefer the translated ver, but the way Yasuke keeps trying to save both Junko AND their relationship. They are stuck in the loop of give and take. And Yasuke just wants the old her back. He wants to restart with Ryoko.

["oh gosh, you're just so cute!

what shall i do with you?"

i'm gonna puke..

these pleasantries are nice, but don't go biting more than you can chew!]

Yasuke being the little shit he is and refusing genuine affection. He keeps pushing people away, but he knows Junko can see past this, so he has no incentive to stop. Having your own mother forget and start to hate you has GOT to affect your self esteem in some way, and his constant isolation is a clear sign of that.

[make it stop, make it stop, there's so much guilt and regret,

i don't get how i can forget and start to hope again

and we haven't even come to the end

so much for promising "together forever", we aren't even friends!]

I see this as him regretting both the things he did to protect Junko, but also him betraying her by keeping her as Ryoko. He’s extremely pessimistic and constantly worries about everything, he cant just forget about everything and start living a normal life with her. Also the fact they it isn’t over, he still has things to cover up for Junko, loose ends to tie. The last line, Junko literally promised that they would be together forever, but i find it so fascinating that he only refers to Ryoko as either his patient or his acquaintance. Despite Ryoko calling him her friend.

[is it fine to "indulge" in you again?

will i ever feel the same as i did then?

yes or no?

tell me 'cuz here we go!]

Yasuke wondering if he should allow himself to get close to Ryoko, to indulge in the old Junko he had practically lost to time. And him wondering if he will feel the same with Ryoko as he did with Junko. He’s constantly struggling to keep her away but to also protect her, he doesn’t know what HE wants from this.

[android girl, you're making me lose my mind!

i'm yours now and forever, but do you even like me deep inside?

guess i've, guess i've

been lied to this whole damn time!]

That second lyric fits soooo well. He will always be Junko's, even after shes gone, but him wondering if she even loved him to begin with, or was she just pretending. At the end, he truly believes that he had been lied to his entire life, and she never gave a damn about him.

[android girl, how long have i felt this way?

still coming after me with that knife, i guess some things will never change

and so, although

we'll restart and fall apart together, what we have will drag on in this way forever!]

Nothing much different with this one but, like. The knife line. Guys. come on.

The rest of the lyrics repeat the two choruses, but there is a lil something.

[android girl, how long have i felt this way?

the kiss i shared with you was so painful that it took my breath away

still though, still though

my ego doesn't wanna let go

i hate you more than you'll ever know!]

Yasuke hating Junko so much in the end, that he kills her for his own sake. Even though he still loves and cares for her, he cant keep going on, so he tries to end it. He doesn’t want to let get, but he has to.

God this song KILLS me. Now time for the translations.

[Android Girl, I've gone out of my mind.

You've become mine and mine alone, but "who" exactly are you?

And to think I've trusted you

all this time, all this time]

Ryoko was truly "his", but there where times he couldn’t tell what was Junko and what was Ryoko. He didnt know who she was at the beginning of chp 3, still cautious that it was Junko. He wanted no part of her to remain in Ryoko.

[Android Girl, what was my feelings for you again?

The kiss we shared hurt so badly, I had to shut down my breath

All this time, all this time

No matter how many time I reboot this love, it cant possibly change, not even by a little bit]

I prefer this last lyric over the other, mainly because its exactly what he’s doing. He’s rebooting her, over and over. But it wont change anything, no matter how hard he tries. I feel like it encapsulates his motivation sooo well.

["Gosh, how adorable

Whatever am I going to do with you?"

I've had enough of that

Gotta resize those heart-fluttering complements]

Feel like this gets the "Yasuke likes the complements but cant handle how they make him feel so rejects them" point across sooo well.

[Annoying, annoying concurrent offences

I dont even know what I'm supposed to hope for anymore

Is it still not time for the end credits yet?

"We're always together, no matter where"? Thats seriously cringey.]

I also love this one alot, just the way it expresses the way Yasuke would feel both frustrated and hopeless. He just wants this whole thing to be over and done with. Also that last line is so in character for him, you could tell me it was a line from the book and i would definitely believe you.

[Is it ok if I were to indulge myself in "sentimentalism"?

Can I wish for those days to come back?

Yes or no?

Tell me]

Nothing much, but I love how this one feels more stuck in the past. Yasuke just wants THAT Junko back, they one who made everything ok. He wants to go back to the days where he could believe that.

[Android Girl, I've gone out of my mind.

Do you love "me" now that I've become yours and yours alone?

looks like you’ve deceived me

all this time, all this time]

Yasuke wondering if Junko loved him, or having a puppet to string along.

[Android Girl, what was my feelings for you again?

How many times did you seek me out with those rust consumed arms?

all this time, all this time

No matter how many time I reboot this love, it cant possibly change, not even by a little bit]

Nothing much again, but the line change is VERY different. I do sees this as Yasuke thinking back to all the times she needed him and wondering if it was because he was the only one there and thats the only reason she did. Do like the change, but this also keeps the robotic theme with Android girl, that works well with Junko

Anyway this song drives me insane, it fits SO FUCKING well. UGHHH

[darkfictionjude]

How would MC's family and the RO react to an MC who is painter and their paintings are special sometimes really creepy and sometimes absolutely beautiful, MC doesnt know it but the paintings are capable of sharing memories and are tied to supernatural phenomenon like:

figures inside the paintings moving in and out of their frames, the paintings eyes following people and the overwhelming sense of being watched, disembodied voices, item generation one in specific generates infinite amounts of money which a certain sibling exploits which is ironic given the painting is based on them.

the RO's and MC's family touch the painting called Mad House which is a painting MC did based on their stay in the asylum what they dont know is MC uses painting to vent their feelings and emotions something unbeknownst to them is the painting is capable of sharing the memories of their stay at the asylum to anyone who touches it:

[Painting description]

The painting depicts nightmarish view of patients strapped to asylum contraptions on ceilings, walls and floors being experimented on, drugged and beaten by doctors. the doctors all having nightmarish faces smiling at the suffering they where inflicting and the patients having expressions of fear, pain and horror on their faces.

I am in awe of the amount of detail in this, really get description.

Imre:

Of course he would go in research mode on how this phenomena happened. Then he would ask to touch the Mad House, because he wants to understand what it was like. As he’s looking at it he asks mc to paint him. He wants to see how you see him.

Nia:

She wouldn’t believe it’s true. She would think it’s like the Mona Lisa, an illusion. Because admitting that would admit that she always thought mc was different and not in a good way. The paintings aren’t really moving, she thinks. It would terrify her and she would tell you to never paint her.

Lorcan:

He would at first be very scared. Like a moving horror film. He would ask mc to cover them up when he comes over. But sometimes he would get drunk and stare at the Mad House for a long time. Feeling something he doesn’t know the name of.

THE CROWNS

Victor: he doesn’t know shit about art. He thinks it’s a trick and that this shows mc is not better and maybe he needs more harsh measures of them.

Prudence: she does like art. But would despise these. She would tell mc to either keep them in the attic because if she found them around the house she’s burn them.

Sally: he would be worried, very worried because all he wants is for mc to be better. If this is how degraded their mind is he doesn’t know what to do to help. He doesn’t understand to begin to help. It tears him up.

Percy: you’re saying this is me? And that I can give myself moneyyyyy? You’ve just become my favourite sibling. Did I tell you I love you? I love YOU MC!

Orla: she would not want to look upon them. Or touch them. Doesn’t want to understand mc. Doesn’t want to create sympathy for them when they never had it for her. Though Mad House would intrigue her, somehow she could understand.

[away-ward]

Did you notice the conversation that the horsemen had in that Lolita class in high school perfectky describe their characterisation.

Michael thought the teacher, Lumbert loved Lolita, when in fact, Lumbert groomed Lolita. Now what have Michael been doing to Rika since she was born? Grooming her as a show of his "love"! Especially after that snippet in Corrupt's epilogue. (Michael grew up always being denied what he wants, and he felt restricted with his options, so he always made sure to go against everything he thought was "rules" to him.)

Kai thought its was abuse and it wasnt on the fault on the girl to be responsible of the situation. And how did he responded to Banks' love with Damon? Yep, he called them out because their co-dependency was borderline abusive and weird as fuck. (Kai grew up to a good home but his father was strict with him, from his choice of friends, manners, education, etc. and Katsu didnt like Gabriel and Damon. AT ALL lmao.)

Damon said "abuse felt like love" because of his relationship with Natalya and Gabriel. Gabriel grape Natalya and Natalya grape Damon. It's a cycle. So Damon's response was like how he felt being Lolita instead of looking at the situation in a birds eye view. The difference between Lolita and Damon though, Damon kept on excusing his problematic behaviour and inflict those similar pain towards innocents, especially the ones he loved most like Banks, Will and Winter.

Will said something like "why did Lolita still went back to hop on Lumbert's dick and not speak up then" and this solidifies Will's characterisation of making things about himself (because he always felt like nobody would choose him) instead of putting himself in Lolita's shoes. And look at the way he responded to Emmy's abuse, it was always "why did she never told me about anything", "you couldve told me and my parents wouldve yada yada yada", instead of just being there for her after he found out something weird about her situation. He was insensitive about the whole situation, not because he was naive or thought the world was good, but because his character was selfish and unkind first before he was anything else. At that age of 17, only a person who's so unkind and selfish would ever say something like that. Mind you, i never went through what lolita, emmy and damon went through, but i cannot ever imagine go so far as being insesitive like that to people, even at the age of 14. It was too much. Will's response, even at worst, shouldve been like Kai. There was no excuse for him here.

I think the Lolita class conversation was very interesting, but it was never really brought up much. It perfectly shows us how, even if the horsemen would help emmy then if she asked, they most likely wont halp her the way she needed to be help, patiently, kindly, and sincerely. They just werent ready for this conversation yet, if not, Damon wouldnt have kept his problem to himself and thought nobody woukd help him with everything, no? Thats why this story was never as easy as just "opening uo to people". The people that they open up to, should be on the same wavelength as them, because then, they would be like Corrupt Michael who just shouted at Rika when they found out about Miles Anderson. Even if Damon who had spent his youth wth the horsemen cant ever fully open up to his friends about his home situation, why would Emmy, a stranger to them was able to open up to the horsemen too.

And as much as Emmy knew about Banks, and even though we never git much Emory Banks in the past or presence, i was glad that this story didnt took the ridiculous route of an 18 year old girl suddenly manage to defy patriarchy and high profile men and criminals to save a girl her age in a well restricted mansion. Like think about the security, their financial situation, Banks education... the logistics of having another live in your life after saving them... crazy. I like that PD didnt do some Wonder Woman shit with their storyline, because i dont think its possible.

What do you think about these?

I did notice that! But I haven’t been able to put it into words like this. Thank you!!!

I wouldn’t say Will was selfish and unkind in his response though. Not to disregard your opinion, but the way I see it, he wasn’t intending to be insensitive. He was just privileged enough to be ignorant of what abuse can look like and how it can make a person feel. He needed to have his eyes opened to reality. But Will’s always had autonomy, so it makes sense to me that he wouldn’t necessarily understand how someone who appears to have free will would choose to stay in a bad situation. The key word being “appears.”

If he understood the reality of how abuse can make a person feel, how autonomy can be stripped away from a person even though it doesn’t appear that way, and he still called them weak and blamed them for their situation, that would be a different situation for me. I’d be more inclined to agree with you. And this isn’t to say that I think Will handled everything in the correct or right way, but people grow and mature at different rates and a big part of Will’s story is how he resisted growing up and accepting reality for so long. Understanding and sympathizing with an abuse victim takes maturity, which he really didn't have at the time.

Whether his ignorance was intentionally turning a blind eye to the obvious, or a byproduct of his privilege is up to the individual, I guess. I choose to think it was a byproduct.

I haven’t thought about why they were discussing Lolita, other than it was a quick way to bring up abuse and for Damon to get in that quotable line. But what I took from it was that none of these kids, save for Damon, were really thinking something like that could be happening to in their midst.

I still think Damon would have kept everything to himself. I don’t know if it’s pride, or shame, or him just being messed up, but I have no doubt that even if he were sure that his friends could and would help him and not judge him, he would have kept that to himself as long as he could.

The horsemen get mad when they see what they perceive to be injustice. They don’t think about why they think that way, just that they feel angry because they saw or heard something they didn’t like. And that’s part of the problem throughout the series: they reaction to things, and not always with thoughtfulness. And we can disagree with how they react – their actions – but not always why they’re upset.

Of course, they’re mad about Anderson. They think he’s scum to begin with, and now they know he’s attacking women. They don’t like men attacking women, so now they’re mad. It’s as simple as that for them. As a reader, removed from the narrative, we know it’s stupid that they yelled at Rika. But their reason for being mad is valid.

And it goes on like that. They learn of a situation, they react, and then they think. So, I don’t think Damon was worried about their reaction – even if they didn’t understand, they would have been of his side. I truly think this was a pride thing. Or Damon being Damon. He likes his secrets.

With Emmy, obviously it makes sense to us that she wouldn’t open up to them. She has no reason to rely on them for anything. She’s been so alone for years, and they certainly aren’t her friends. But from their perspective, obviously they wouldn’t have let the abuse continue if they’d known about it. Does she think they’re heathens????

easy answer: “yes, you idiots, because you haven’t shown anything different,” but they don’t know that.

Oh yeah, when Damon told Emory about Banks my first reaction was “why? What is she gonna do? You already know that Emory is barely handling her own situation, why are you trying to add to it?” And didn’t Banks have people in the house and a mom she can turn to in truly desperate situations? Like, I know she never went to high school, but she’s been doing his homework and we know she isn’t dumb. But Damon is Damon and like the rest of them, his reactions aren’t usually the most logical.  

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I really enjoyed reading them.

[s1ll13rg00s3]

Sorry if my english is not very good. I am not the same anon, but piqued did do this before, and her apology really seems like she's more concerned with her reputation than anything?

She even did the same to the people calling bi women dick worshippers and shit at first. She coddle them, say that she'll always empathize with them even if they choose to express themselves in "unfavorable ways", say that lesbians can't harm bi women anyways so what's the problem, that they are just tired of bi homophobes and we should have compassion for them, and make several excuses on their behalf like that. Message is clear she "condemns their behavior" but she is still treating them as people like the ones who need defense.

I do get why lesbian loneliness tugs at her heartstrings and I do get why that is first instinct. But first instinct is not beyond critique sorry.

I want her to understand what having our abuse belittled and ignored in turn is something a lot of bisexuals go through and also makes us suffer a lot. We also have hearts and we also have community traumas and this is an important one. So many of us are rape victims and our sexuality is used against us in response. She seems to think that attack on bi rape victims is fine thing to publish, and people should have taken her ignoring it for disagreement. i do not see how anything about the lesbian loneliness thing makes that logic make any sense, how does that make it so ignore equals disagreement?

but ok even in that alternate reality. Does she not think it is triggering for us to see comments like that? Does she not think ignoring as if it was nothing important still is really hurtful? and is still part of the the system that treats us bi rape victims as worthless and nothing? Maybe it's not what she thinks, it's how she treats that matters. She says she is sorry but I am not sure what she is sorry about if she still thinks this part is not an issue and bisexuals are being annoying and demonizing her over nothing? It very confuses her apology. Maybe she thinks her mistake is she was not clear and we misunderstand that she agrees entirely with her anon. That is one problem, but treating the attack on our trauma like is this is just relatable venting to ignore is itself very cruel and shows you don't think our trauma matters that much.

And even if she is sorry and understands now, we are still allowed to feel hurt that she treated us like that in the first place. If she didn't want us stupid bi rape victims to have strong feelings about it maybe she shouldn't have posted it. Or she could have clarified herself. That ask was up for a week before she got called out. Didn't look like she gave two shits how it affected bi people before that, she only came here to defend her reputation it feels like, and she only respond to people being positive to her like she thinks our anger and hurt is stupid and unreasonable. So adding that and her previous behavior just not sure how sincere she is even if she is very nice and polite.

I dont know much about her views beyond the single conversation I had with her a few weeks ago so I can't speak to anything she may have said in the past.

I think its fine to be upset, like it's very hurtful to see the sexual trauma inflicted upon an entire group be minimized. I do see the sexual violence against bi people as a systemic issue, there isn't a bisexual person I know (male or female) who hasn't been sexually assaulted... but even if it wasn't systemic, when is making light of sexual violence ever "punching down"?

You could be right and maybe she just wants to look good and the kindness and understanding was mainly lip service, but I don't think she has any ill will towards bi people but is just someone who doesn't want to be the bad guy so she avoids addressing uncomfortable topics. I do agree that when you do that it is up to individual interpretation what your stance on an issue is and so you will probably end up at least indirectly cosigning something you dont agree with... but it's also something I've done in the past irl to avoid conflict so I'm sympathetic, it's uncomfortable to feel torn between hurtingor upsetting someone you don't want to hurt (especially if you identify with them on a deep level) and condoning things you think are wrong, and I know I personally wouldn't want to be judged based on moments like that instead of my own words.

Honestly, my general feeling (not regarding bisexual issues or feminism but kind of anything leftism in general) is that we can be really quick to write people off who are not perfect but also who don't really want to meet us in opposition. Like I said, if you are hurt I don't think its your responsibility to be building any bridges regardless of if the harm was intentional or not. But if you're not hurt, it can really only do good to try to find common ground, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, you know?

Given the current information I have I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe people who have more information than I do are going to see things differently.

[weirdsht]

warning: a long ranting character analysis ahead. its a character analysis but i put my own personal experience in it hence why a rant. also my vocabulary sucks and i might use wrong words im sorry in advance difuhgopeihpgerty

not sure if this is because i'm a humanities student or its just i can relate because of what i realized while trying to find out about myself but i have some 2cents about Cale's personality.

everything happened late to Cale and that has a big impact on his beliefs and values

it was too late when he met the Soos and became freinds with them. it was too late when that grandma doted on him.

because from what i learned its hard to undo your mindset specially when it has been built up since you were young

consciously or unconsciously

from since he was young cale probably unconsciously concluded that he isn't worth that much and that things could always be worse than this

thats why as long as his alive that's good enough for him. even if his barely on the edge of living with his plate in shambles

like even though Jung Soo and Soo Hyuk and other people he has met later on showed him and tried to teach him that what his doing isnt okay. that he should have higher standards and not just settle for "at least i'm alive". they can't really reset years of accumulated mindset

basically what im saying is its nearly impossible to undo trauma guys

specially with what he went through during his childhood since childhoods always have a great affect in our lives

it doesn't matter if the treatment change or the one inflicting it is gone, once you get used to thinking like that it's hard to turn back y'know

idk how to explain so i'll give a personal example instead

my mom is an overachiever and is very intelligent, and as her child she also expect me to be the same or even surpass her, she's also someone who has a lot of trust issues specially in relationships

imagine that mixing and being projected lol

so for years its just her grilling me to do better. saying that i'm lazy and not putting enough effort on my studies because i can't maintain being a honor student, not realizing the fact fact that maybe, just maybe it's just that i'm not as smart as her. even her standards are crazy high, just passing isn't enough heck a passing grade is a fail for her (asian mom's amiright)

and that also became detrimental to my social life because she's always comparing. she also keeps engraving that they don't really care for me and such and u know the typical manipulation

but nowadays she's calmed downed a bit. she's more open about me having friends and she isn't as strict about me being an honorable student

did that change anything? not really lmaoo

because in the back of my mind i'm thinking that if i dont do well she's gonna have an outburst again, or if i tell her about my friends she's going to say all sorts of things again and i don't want to lonely again. and so the result is me being constantly on guard and her wondering why im hostile

i hope that explains how it greatly affect things

you bring those thoughts and beliefs with you even when you grow up. even when things get better. whether you realize it or not

its really just something you can't get rid of honestly

and that's what i think happened to cale

unknowingly getting the share of White Star's curse made him lose everything he loves and care for

his parents dying

his uncle abusing him

him getting abandoned

just the world falling in ruin

all those things probably made him unintentionally come to the conclusion that he isn't really worth much, and view things that other people would consider necessity, the basic necessities, a luxury

i'd like to believe that maybe he was slowly getting rid of that toxic mindset when he was with the Soos

then boom

they dead now

and so since that's what happened the one time he let his guard down his walls built up even more and his coping mechanisms got worse than they originally were

so probably thats why he acts the way he does when he finally became Cale

that's why this lovable mfer is so guarded, oblivious and so annoyingly dense

i just want for him to break out of it honestly. it wouldn't even matter to me if he realizes it or not. tbh him not realizing it is probably better. just accept the love being given to you damnit

and i thank you, thank you for coming to my ted talk HAHAHAHAHAHHASDGIUUSTPGW

[k0kichiimagines]

hhshhckd saeran brain rot time

you can request other characters for this, including other versions of Saeran!

- mod kokichi

[GE] Saeran Choi N$FW alphabet

CWs: N$FW

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Very soft, he usually gets a cloth to clean up and then holds you for a bit, fingers tracing your skin and whispering soft words to you. Sometimes falling asleep.

He'll run a bath afterwards, pretty bath bombs included.

At some point he may question what you enjoyed, mostly if you tried something new.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

At first he doesnt like anything about himself. He starts to love himself through how you love him, starting with his hands.. or more how his hands look on you.

On you ? Everything, but he loves your neck // collarbone when hes more in his Unknown persona, hips and thighs generally. He loves kissing or holding your hands during your moments as well.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He likes cumming inside or on the sheets, you'd have to ask him if you wanted it anywhere else tbh.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Probably when you first entered his life, and for the first time he started getting thoughts about someone. Not just feeling aroused, but feeling it towards someone in particular. Both Ray and Saeran felt nervous you would hate him if you found out.

Also unknown has an exhibition kink, i know this is GE saeran but i have to get it out there.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

No experience, I doubt he watches porn tbh but he did *some* research. He's not innocent on his kink knowledge.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary! He loves having you close to him and having your front view exposed to him, seeing your face and etc. Any position he can see your face he likes.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He might make some light jokes here and there, very soft ones and not common. He might even softly tickle you in a teasing way once or twice. For him, sex is very intimate and loving and he wants to make it feel relaxed and stuff.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Okay i feel like this depends on what you hc happened to his hair. If you take the dye route, then no it's still red. I personally see it as being from the elixir, so i think it'd be white with some red here and there.

Yes i think he shaves every now and then, just trims when he's feeling lazy.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's so intimate and loving in everything you do together, especially so during sex. Even kinker stuff holds intimacy and love for him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Not really. I feel like he's able to keep himself usually in check, and now he has you he doesn't feel the urge as much. He does a few times though, if you ever caught him he'd freeze for a second, debating how to respond.

He used to, during the Mint Eye and stuff, but even then only very rarely. Perhaps more often once he saw you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise kink!! Orgasm denial.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Honestly anywhere. He prefers private areas, such as your house (again, anywhere. but the bed is comfortable so usually there). He dreams of having wide open fields and gardens, so in a closed off area there is good.

In public? Yeah he's down, not often but the excitement of hiding and keeping both of you silent gets to him at times.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You. Just whisper at him, or subtlety imply something, maybe trace your fingers close to his crotch. He'll get the idea pretty quick.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never degraded you or want to be degraded. Teasing? He's okay with it, but both from his childhood and the Mint Eye degradation would make him uncomfortable. Same with inflicting pain or choking.

I think tying him up would only be a sometimes thing, he wouldn't suggest it unless you wanted to and he'd only want it a few times.

Otherwise probably just stuff like vomit, piss, y'know.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Ohhhh he likes spoiling you, he's a giver.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Yes. (Depends on the mood, and what you want. He's a big romantic so he likes the slow mood, but equally having you beg for him to move is... hot)

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He likes them! Just not too often, he prefers sex-sex.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

YEP, depends on what of course but he's down! Just maybe don't expect non-stop kinky stuff with him.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

When he first gets out the mint eye, not more then one. As he heals and recovers he can go for longer and go for more rounds, just give him time.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Owns none, i dont think i need to explain why.

He's not too fussed on toys, if you have handcuffs or whatever you want to try he'll use them, and may even find one he likes, but he doesnt have a big preference for them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He's always a tease, even in his after ending he teases you softly. Anything from words, to moving his fingers painfully slow, this man is a tease.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He definitely makes noises, soft whimpers and gasps mixed in with sentences that sometimes trail off (but you know what he means). He'll get a bit loud at times, he might kiss (or bite) you to silent himself.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Your first time having sex together is going to be very slow paced and gentle. In his own words, your his first love, but that also makes you his first everything. Sex including. He has a few nerves of his own, and he would prefer if you two spend time exploring each other the first time.

If you're not a virgin you can give him guidance, but even then you'll be learning together, even more so if you are a virgin.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I've read that circumcision is pretty popular in South Korea, however due to his childhood i honestly don't know if he would have gotten it done. His mother might have, equally she may not have,, i looked it up and apparently its done very young a lot of the time so probably yeah??? man i dunno i dont have a dick okay im out of my depth here 😭

ANYWAYS i think hes 5 to 6 inches or so, not woah really big but equally not small.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Hmm, I feel like he's not always horny but equally he's quick to get in the mood - if that makes sense? He has a good control over his emotions (sometimes), but equally if you push a button he's gone.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Pretty quick, he prefers if you fall asleep together though so he usually waits until you're sleeping.

[seriouslysam8]

Hello, Sam!

I have just started reading your series Moments in Time that I saw Breanie recommended and I must say, it is absolutely wonderful so far!

Croup: This was not at all what I expected! I stumbled across this universe recommended on Breanie’s tumblr and thought I better start in order. PUH-Tunia really is a bitch! You can just see the abuse already inflicted on him and he’s only three! The mental anguish of a three year old being told he can’t have nice things because he breaks them can’t have been good for poor Harry! No wonder’s so unsure of everything later on. Yelling at him because he’s sick like it’s his fault! Im surprised she even gave him medicine! Wanting him to sleep outside in the “frigid air” and only deciding not to because the neighbours might see really says a lot about her personality. Ive never read anything from Petunia’s point of view before but well done. I hate her even more than before. I look forward to following this new adventure that is your moments in time universe. Great read!

The Boggart of Grimmauld Place: This was just so heartwarming! Harry getting to spend even a little time with Remus and Sirius at Grimmauld Place was what was missing from canon. Memories of his grandparents, learning about them. It was just lovely! When Harry is ashamed of wanting Sirius to embrace him a little longer my heart ached for that poor boy who never got to feel real hugs and affection. He thinks he should be ashamed for wanting to feel it and he shouldnt! I blame for petunia for that. I meant to say that in Croup how she touched his forehead to check for a fever and he flinched like he’d been expecting her to hit him. Poor poor little Harry. I love how you play on the connection here between Harry and Sirius and even parallel it to the Potters and Weasleys. Harry being surprised that he would be in Sirius’ will at all. Harry just being surprised that people care about him. Makes me want to just give him a hug! What abeautiful story! Thank you.

Hide and Seek: This was so fun! I love the thought of them all playing hide and seek in Grimmauld Place and everyone joining in! Remus and Tonks making out in the cupboard was the best! It was definitely my favourite part and Sirius just teasing them! Hermione thinking something happened between Harry and Ginny. I loved how Harry opened up a little to Ginny. You could see he was actually really comfortable with her in a way he’s not with people. Absently massaging her wrist, touching her. He was caught up in her without realizing he was caught up in her. Adorable! The second addition was wonderful! I love how Ginny just took control, loosening his tie, taking off his jumper… they are the superior couple! While I am a tad disappointed to not see them making out at the end, I loved this story. Thank you.

Seventeen: Wow! This was a story I didn’t know I needed. Harry and Ron lovingly admitting they’re brothers warms my soul. I love that touch of giving them matching watches! Was that canon? If not it should be. Mrs weasley feeling guilty over Sirius is so like her. She loves and cares for Harry as if he’s her own son and it’s wonderful to see. The last bit with Ginny was perfect! They definitely had to do more than the uninterrupted kiss and I love how Harry just basked in her. The end made me so sad! His heart breaking over missing her birthday, lost opportunities. Very beautifully done! These one-shots are amazing and I look forward to reading more of them. Thank you.

The Demise of Walburga Black: This was absolutely amazing! The image you crafted of them laughing like lunatics as they destroyed her portrait was awesome! What I like most so far about your writing is how you gently weave in Harry’s relationship with the Weasleys. I love the idea of George moving in with him and Ron, that Harry would offer his home to him like that. I love that Harry goes to Mr Weasley for renovation advice. I think its so hot that Harry would renovate the Muggle way (so sexy to see men in a tool belt and I’m going to assume he’s shirtless and sweaty). I love that it was Angelina’s idea and how you casually had Ron toss in that George and Angelina were already sleeping together. George not really being drunk, is that because he drank a lot to cope with Fred’s death? I think it is. Harry’s reaction to being caught by Mrs Weasley, how his guilt eases into pleasure that Mrs Weasley would call both himself and Ron George’s “younger brothers” and his glee in being lectured by her in a motherly fashion. And dont even get me started on the scene with Ginny! The way he gushed on his drunken ramblings about making a home with her and wanting to raise a family and her not wanting to get her hopes up because he’s so drunk! I laughed out loud when Harry said that drunk Harry wants to do dirtier things with her or something like that. Just wonderful all around! Where’s Teddy in this story? I know he lives with Andromeda in canon but I thought I read that you have Harry raising him. Ah well, maybe the next tale will answer that question! Thank you.

That’s all I’ve had time to read so far, but I just wanted to say thank you for writing such a rich and vast universe! I can definitely see why Breanie recommends you so much! I have a few questions if you don’t mind.

1) What made you decide to write a story about Harry’s early childhood from the point of view of Petunia instead of Harry?

2) Do you think Petunia and Vernon physically abused Harry when he was little? It’s fairly obvious he had psychological abuse, but do you think there was more?

3) Do you think Ron and Hermione knew Harry had never played childish games like hide and seek as a child? Do you think the others knew and that’s why they all agreed to join in?

4) When do you think Harry actually started to notice Ginny? Was it in his fifth year and he just didn’t realize or do you think it was later? There is the scene where she puts him in his place over the possession bit and of course when they get kicked out of the library together. What are your thoughts?

5) Was it canon that Ron and Harry have the watches of Mrs Weasley’s brothers?

6) Do you believe George could handle his alcohol better because of his age or were you insinuating he had become accustomed to the drink after losing Fred?

7) Where is Teddy when Harry lives at Grimmauld Place? From the summaries of your stories I got the impression Harry raised him. But I haven’t read any further so I may be wrong.

Sorry for so many questions, but I am curious. I look forward to reading more. Thank you for your time. You’re amazing and I love your work! Thank you.

I have been following your review journey and getting more and more excited the further you get into the universe!! I am going to try my damndest to answer all these asks you’ve sent today but I have an incredibly busy weekend, so it may take me a little bit to answer them all especially if you’re asking specific questions since I won’t have access to my computer a lot. So, I will answer all your asks, but give me the weekend because I want to give you the best and most detailed answers I can!

1.) Honestly, Croup and Brontide (I promise, no spoilers) are the reason I started this as a series. I mentioned Harry had croup a lot as a child in Brontide and then wanted to write a companion piece. I thought, what better way to demonstrate Harry’s childhood then telling a story through Petunia’s POv because she’s absolutely horrible. Plus, I didn’t think I could get into the mindset of any other POV for that story.

2.) I definitely think there was physical abuse as well. It’s indicated in the books (Harry knowing to dodge away from a frying pan or something). So, I do feel they did physically abuse him as well. He has a few scars to show from it.

3.) No, I don’t think they knew. Maybe some suspected it but not know. I think everyone was just sick of cleaning Grimmauld Place and wanted to do something fun. It didn’t matter it was a child’s game. They just wanted something to do.

4.) I think he started to like Ginny as a friend in fifth year. I think he started to notice her as someone more than just Ron’s little sister. I don’t even think he noticed how he felt comfortable around her in fifth year either. I like to think all the dots started to connect earlier than 6th year but Harry just didn’t know what it all meant. Then 6th year come and he’s like crap… I really her! But it was building, unknowingly, to Harry before then. Ginny had been slowly forming into her own person in Harry’s mind and he felt comfortable and liked what he saw. He just didn’t connect it romantically at that time.

5.) No, the watches isn’t canon. I wish it was though. Honestly, when I wrote it, I totally forgot they mentioned Ron getting a brand new watch in canon until months after I wrote the story.

6.) George was a bit of an alcoholic after the war. It’s mentioned more in-depth in Brontide. But he definitely held his alcohol better because he has been spiraling into alcohol abuse for months by that point.

7.) So, again it’s mentioned in Brontide, but Teddy lived with Andromeda for the first year of his life before Harry gained custody of him. Andromeda didn’t feel comfortable with Harry raising Teddy at first. Once she got to know him and see how much Harry cared for Teddy, she handed over custody to Harry so that Teddy could live a more normal life and have parents and siblings.

[ralunix]

I decided to give some people HOPE for Adam's redemption even after the.... Board assault situation.

(Redemption might even happen at the end in a dramatic... "Reedeemed at death." but for him might not be death... Who knows he might take the fall for someone or go to jail.)

People seem to not notice Adam is capable of reading the room well... Even with Langa he noticed the disappointment on his face that he was not Reki.

Now why would he slam Cherry in the face?

From his point of view its a wake up call, Adam needs a partner... In Joe's words"We are not alone. " Adam can see Cherry and Joe's chemistry he might have hated how Cherry is.... Playing at 2 tables without realizing... Cause he clearly likes Joe even if not romantically.

Adam wants someone for himself witch is why he is after NEW skaters... Cause he already knows the old ones.

Before going out with Cherry and Joe.... And in that time he always had a partner... Someone who showed him how to skate... Who gave him some freedom and gave him happines... Someone he could fall on from the abuse he suffered at his aunts hands... And that was Tadashi.... But Tadashi had to say he has no opinion.... Well if you are someone who can read a room.... And all of a sudden someone you care of says that.. That would hurt as hell... Additional TADASHI teached him how to skate, he gave him this love and passion and freedom.... He gave him all that next to his real love even if just as a friend just to shove it away in front of danger...

Hmmm... Tadashi bailed... In front of danger? And what does Adam do with all the new partners? He gets them in danger.... Cause he is interested to see who will remain standing by his side..not walk away.

Cherry couldn't be his partner... He is already Joe's... So he didn't even want to skate with him because of this...he didn't want to love him.

Adam's beef is with loneliness.

Reki ended up freaked out... And this is why Adam didn't even consider him or others.

He wants someone new and who is not taken and is able to manage him and not leave in front of danger.

He pulls people in and showes them the way and tests them.

You don't get punished out of nowhere...

So all the pain he inflicts is punishment.

For what?

For trying to get close to him without the requirements needed.

This is why Tadashi standing up now is so awesome.

I think Adam does see Tadashi as a real threat.

Cherry's beef was boring cause the beef Cherry had was mostly with himself and not accepting people change or the fact he has feelings for Joe...

Oh additional random...

Adam is more of a obedient dog to his aunts... Tadashi went out of the rules to reach Adam and that to me seems as a strong move.

Did you know your heart can't make the difference between my heart beats fast I am in love and my heart beats fast I am scared?

This is why they end up in the weird rainbow tunnel.

So dont worry @ainosk8 it can still happen.

[bigskydreaming]

I’m still thinking through names I like for Cass better than Orphan or Black Bat (which I don’t hate like I do Orphan, but I’ve always felt that the name Black Bat came more out of just ‘come up with something franchise themed’ than trying to find something for Cass specifically), for when she’s not Batgirl or Steph is instead. Not for any particular project or anything, I’ve just been stuck on that train of thought since falling onto it the other day.

I think I’ve given up on it being Red themed lol. My dreams for Batfam symmetry are doomed to come to naught. C’est la vie.

Currently though most of the ideas I have are all central to or revolving around communication or connection, because I honestly think those are thematically so PIVOTAL to who Cass is.....but the danger is something like that coming across as ironic due to Cass not being particularly talkative in a lot of peoples’ interpretations or views, and its absolutely not meant to be, not for the reasons I’m thinking.

Like because the thing about her childhood is....there’s so much to focus on that was fucked up about what David Cain put her through, its impossible to have a specific place to ‘start’. But I think something that definitely at least has to be way up there is the isolation he forced her to live most of her early life in. Deprived of even the POSSIBILITY of connection to others. Because connection is so fundamental to what makes us human. As well as to what makes Cass “Cass.” Cass THRIVES due to the connections she chooses for herself. Don’t get me wrong, she’s fully capable on her own, its not about suggesting she’s reliant on them.....for me, its more about the triumph of her having the freedom and CHOICE now to connect herself to as many people as she chooses, when originally her father had meant for her to basically exist APART from society. Emphasizing the importance of connection and communication to Cass is like, a definite fuck you to her dad and his plans for her, a symbol of her freedom and independence. 

But also its not JUST that, because its also just about the sheer joy of connecting for Cass, because its the fulfillment of dreams she never really expected to become reality. Because as much as her life with David defined a large portion of her childhood, she was also shaped in no small part by the years she spent on her own....where even though she was out from under Cain’s thumb, she was still influenced by the specter of him and everything he’d ever said to her. She kept herself apart from society for the most part, even though now technically she was free to mingle among it if she chose....because she felt guilt-ridden over the death she’d been party to though it had never truly been her fault and she was very much Cain’s victim there as well as the man who died, rather than him being her victim.

But the point is, a lot of the second half of her childhood was spent in silence as well, albeit self-imposed silence....except also no, fuck that, it wasn’t self-imposed because she was still suffering from the trauma of her worldview being so heavily shaped and influenced by her abusive fucknugget of a father, who’d essentially spent years convincing her that words weren’t for her, that communication, that connection, those were things for people other than her but would forever elude her because she just wasn’t BORN to partake in those things. She stayed outside of society, made no real effort to figure out if she COULD learn to communicate like others did, because her abuse in no small part had revolved around making her believe it was just her place to be silent, her role. That a weapon didn’t need words.

So in the family and fulfillment Cass found later in Barbara and Bruce and Steph and others, like.....it wasn’t just about her finding companionship or even a sense of purpose or direction......she found a voice. Even if she speaks more with sign than out loud or even if she has trouble translating her thoughts into words or sign language due to learning disability or the like, Cass very much COMMUNICATES, she connects, she has things to say, and she more than anyone understands the importance of a voice, whether spoken or written or signed, of the power inherent in just being able to use it and express oneself.

And its equally key that Bruce and Babs and others didn’t GIVE that to her, because how could they? It was something she had all along because the reality is no matter how hard he tried, it was something Cain couldn’t truly take from her. All he could do (and make no mistake, I use “all he could do” to emphasize the ultimate failure of his attempts to control her rather than to dilute the extent of trauma his abuse did inflict) - but even his attempts to cut her off from people and isolate her via an inability to communicate.....they relied wholly on denying her the tools and opportunities to learn how to make use of her voice, of the things she wanted and needed to say. 

So its not a gift that Babs and Bruce bestowed on her, because it wasn’t something anyone COULD give her anymore than it could fully be taken from her. But they did help her find that she had things to say and she had ways to say them. That she deserved to be heard and understood as much as anybody, and that she had so much in her that had just been waiting for someone to tell it to and ways for her to do that. They helped show her how to connect her voice to the right audiences for it, to communicate to people who would hear her and as Batgirl and Black Bat.....to people who NEEDED to hear her. For whom the things she could communicate via her actions and protection as much as anything else.....like that was a message they needed to hear themselves due to the abusers and villains in their own lives.

And I just see that as so.....triumphant for Cass is the word I honestly keep going back to the most.

I’ve called Dick’s approach to vigilantism his form of performance art. Carrying something that holds great importance to him even if others might overlook its significance, into what he does as a vigilante in ways that everyone he helps benefits from. Even if they don’t realize that his light-hearted performances even while sweeping them out of the path of danger is as much to help buffer them from the trauma of what is happening to them and how much they’ve already suffered.....those are as much a part of his aim to protect and make peoples’ lives better as his actual martial arts.

In the same sense, I consider Cass’ approach to vigilantism her form of connectivity. Its her message to people who need to hear, to see, to believe that there is help for them out there, that there is someone who wants to come for them, someone who wants to bring them out of whatever hole or isolation or danger they’ve fallen or been forced into....they need this as much as Cass needs it to be able to say look at me, look at my actions, I did that, I said that, that was ME.

For Cass, I feel vigilantism is about finding her voice, finding ways to put into message form others can understand even on a primal level the things she wants to communicate, that she wishes had been communicated earlier to her...that everyone deserves to be connected, to have connections, and to just....speak. In whatever form they can or choose to.

Its about the ability and freedom to use her voice, to impart her messages....and see those things have IMPACT. Be heard. Seen. Communicated.

And for those reasons I keep coming back to something like Songbird, but its ugh....its such a Catch 22. It would be so easy to misconstrue, but honestly I think it fits what I’m describing so well and like.....whatever, ultimately it doesn’t matter since this is just a headcanony thing anyway and not going to actually change anything, but like....I am The Undecided.

(Also I know Marvel already has a Songbird, but a) I dont care, like Marvel is stupid so umm why would that even matter yeah thats what I thought and b) I mean Songbird is an easy name to attach to any color one wants to make part of her name and ascribe particular significance to. Like she could be Red Songbird? Scarlet Songbird? Yes? No? Give up the dream Kalen, Big Red, Middle Red and Lil’ Red just ain’t it? Ugh, fine. Booo.)

But anyway, that’s what I’ve been musing on.

[hominginstinct]

Ayo I read your essay and I hope you don't mind addition but IMO, I dont think Phillip and Roland are supposed to be parallel or Roland seeing himself in Phillip. Phillip's entire theme seems to just be him accepting his sorrow and sadness and act upon said sadness, this is reflected even in his corrupted Distortion form where Argalia noted that "poor thing, he just wants to cry" rather than a burning anger like with Xiao or Roland. Arguably the part of embracing sorrow could stretch to Roland since that man also has that things going on but ultimately they went on a complete different direction as character for me to feel said parallel imo which maybe for the best

And I think Roland kinda just generally allergic to the general mindset of "I sacrifice other people/myself for the better good" in general which said mindset is spoon fed to us before the Wedge Office reception which is understandable since the entire working of the Wings and the City is also just sacrificing people for humanity advancement which he himself loathes and has been hint to even be a victim of it one or few time so it would explain why he would not take well to Phillip without having to feel related to him honestly

yeah no i totally appreciate the addition! i don't necessarily disagree with your points. unlike xiao or yan, philip doesn't directly parallel roland or angela. but i do think he's still representative of roland, especially because he's part of the ensemble.

the rest of the post is under a read more because this one's even longer (and also quotes a few passages). also i'm gonna refrain from talking about the songs because that would turn into an entire essay of its own. warning for endgame spoilers under the cut.

the members of the ensemble all represent some aspect of roland (and the trauma of the city in general): deception (pluto), alienation (elena), a loss of control (jae-heon), conformity (eileen), his "that's how the world works" attitude (tanya), and so on. the sephirot represent an opposing point of view on the beliefs held by the ensemble members.

philip himself is juxtaposed against malkuth, who feels that she's responsible for, well, everything. believing that she would be helping carmen and the experiments, she only accelerated the lab's demise. being resurrected in lobotomy corporation makes her feel like she has to atone for her sins, but that only leads to covering up her guilt by adapting a "weakness is death" mentality. after her meltdown, malkuth finds the will to face her past, to see her mistakes for what they are and learn from them. meanwhile, what philip wants is to live in a world where he wouldn't feel desire or loss. a world without greed, where he wouldn't be hurt in the pursuit of happiness. a world without history, where he wouldn't have to confront his past or his mistakes.

in general, philip is set up as a foil to xiao. they both deal with very similar topics, like love, survivor's guilt, and greed/loss, but their situations end very differently. roland does directly resemble xiao, and his connection to philip is a lot more abstract (his agony is abstract and enormous, after all). i don't think philip is meant to really parallel roland in his entirety, but to instead represent roland's history and future, the conflict inside him, his choices.

at the end, his despair and greed could consume and distort him entirely, forever cutting off his potential for change. once he kills angela in his bad ending, he's just an empty husk with a gaping void -- there's nothing left of him but his sorrow. alternatively, he could let go of his grudges and make the choice he wants to, selfishly "abandoning" angelica so that he can move forward, like xiao did.

with regards to wedge office, i do agree that he's probably talking about the city, rather than thinking about his own motivations. however, i also feel that the distinction doesn't necessarily matter. from the wedge office pre-battle cutscene:

Roland: Few things are as dangerous and nasty as selfishness in the guise of “for the sake of someone else”…

Angela: I think I know what you mean. The determination to work for the good of others can be a dreadful and loathsome weapon.

Angela: Especially if one strongly believes that the justice they’re pursuing is worth sacrificing for…

Angela: They’re blinded by self-righteousness, and have no regards for their surroundings. They don’t care what happens to others.

Angela: They justify themselves for pressing forward pursuing their justice, crushing everything in their way…

Roland: Wow… This might be the first time we understood each other for real. I’m touched, man.

angela is definitely talking about ayin here, but ayin's cruelty is all she's ever known. she doesn't know how to live without hurting and taking things from others. roland is in pretty much the exact same situation in relation to the city. he despises the city and the cruelty it runs on, but he doesn't know anything else. that's the exact reason the ensemble exists in the first place; the city is structured to inflict trauma on its inhabitants, and they're forced to inflict trauma on others to survive.

roland is dangerous, nasty, and selfish, all in the name of someone else. up to this point, he's been making the excuse that he's living for someone else, telling himself that he's getting revenge for angelica's sake. he turns a blind eye towards his own feelings and mistakes, and tells himself that he's nothing like philip -- that's that, and this is this, after all. ironically, that only makes him more like philip.

i don't think he consciously recognizes philip as being anything like him. i do think that his hatred for himself and his hatred for the city are essentially the same thing. what philip's going through reminds him of his own guilt and trauma, of the ugliness of the city -- the same ugliness that festers within himself.

furthermore, angela knowing exactly what he's talking about, roland remarking that they see eye-to-eye for once... that one feels a lot different after roland's speech after the black silence fight:

Roland: A dimwitted egoist whose sight is limited by their own selfishness… A proper fool chasing after immediate results…

Roland: That’s what you are. And who I am…

Roland: The same logic that dictates us was bound to be our downfall one day…

Roland: If we really cared for ourselves… Neither of us should have made this choice.

Roland: It won’t last long that way… Being selfish isn’t about keeping an eye on yourself and nothing else.

Roland: We had to take a good look at the things around us and engrave them in our hearts.

Roland: Everything is interlinked, after all…

and sorry for pulling out philip's ensemble page again, but i do think that it beautifully describes the true ending, for both roland and angela.

Even the failures and misery of the past were all part of the voyage leading up to this moment, so I'm thankful that I managed to achieve something for once. I might have drowned in my own tears and sorrow back then, but ultimately, I'm grateful for the choice I made… and all the things in the world.

all this has really just been a messy and long-winded way of saying: that's this, and this is that. but hey, this game's all about the journey, right? hopefully this was an interesting read at least, haha.

[theblogtini]

I LOVE Michelle Obama & Rihanna but I do NOT like Beyonce. Am I racist? No.

Imho, Michelle and Rihanna are true Queens & authentic. I dont like beyonce, never have. Everyone has someone they dont like and people they do like. I once had a someone call me racist because I didnt want to hang out with them but guess what? THEY WERE DEALING DRUGS! Like, no thank you. I will not be caught up in that.

We are trying to end racial injustice. Screaming racism at every turn, every criticism, is a disservice to those who face it daily. It makes things worse.

I’m with you. I love Michelle Obama (& Barack - I really just want to go to a BBQ with him for some reason, he seems so chill! Lol) and I love Rhianna but I’m not a Beyoncé fan. Or rather, I’m not a huge fan of her music. I mean it’s good just not my fav. And Beyoncé’s fans are so intense that I think that’s a bit of a turn off for me - like being a casual Beyoncé fan isn’t a thing - either you’re in the Bey Hive or your trash. And I don’t like that. & obviously she has no control over that lol but it just makes me be like “eh I won’t even attempt it” buuuuut anyway, I digress. All that is to say that I agree 100% - you can dislike someone for any # of reason & that doesn’t at all mean it’s bc you’re racist.

I do feel that your last statement is a slippery slope. I do agree - if you cry wolf at every turn eventually people stop listening. BUT you also can’t tell someone what to feel or what their perception of the situation is, ya know? *I* know that I’m not a racist for not loving Meghan or Beyoncé’s music - but if I did something that a black person felt was racist & they called me out on it I can’t say “no no you’re wrong you didn’t feel that way.” I can tell them I didn’t MEAN it that way and we can have a dialogue about it and hopefully come to middle ground where I’ve learned something and been exposed to an area I can be more aware of and they can learn I’m not a bigot lol. But I can’t tell them not to feel it (but can defend myself graciously and fairly and compassionately).

Edited to add: the “uppity” thing is a perfect example. Never in my life would I have thought it had any sort of racist connotation. And it’s not really a word I use generally. BUT I’ve learned something & now it’s a word I WILL NOT use bc even tho I wouldn’t mean it racially (even if I was using it to describe a white person) that doesn’t mean it’s not going to be perceived that way & I would never want to unintentionally inflict that hurt on someone (even if I did think they were being snobby or whatever) - disagreeing with someone’s poor behavior doesn’t make one racist, but using racially charged/sensitive terms to describe it is wrong, insensitive, & yes could be viewed as racist if you know the history & do it anyway.

[sloppy-butcher]

Can I get uhhhh Kazan/Oni and a reader who’s also a killer? 🥺

this is my first official piece between killer and killer and I was rather excited to write it. There are a lot more variables to consider when doing a killer x killer thing so apologies if this seems vague

but I’ll do anything for Kazan UwU. The reader will be gender-neutral. THANK YOU for the ask! hope this is okay

also, sorry if this seems smaller than my other pieces, i’m trying to refine my works so that i don’t have to write so much

HeadCanons for The Oni (Kazan Yamaoka) with a Killer! S/O

Kazan would regard you with the utmost respect and maybe even view you as a worthy equal. You’d just have to first earn it. Normally, when he would encounter the other killers in the Fog, he would scoff and turn his nose up at them. All were below him, weak dogs, not warriors of great battles or heads of respectable family names. He, of course, regarded you the same way when he first met you. To him, you were smaller and “less threatening” and that to him was enough to justify his feeling of superiority over you. But you proved him wrong. Over time you would demonstrate your capableness to inflict pain and death upon others, you would rack up the most kills pleasing your master the most out of all Its little pets. You were the Entity’s lapdog, your name always being brought up in Kazan’s conversations with the Entity.  He was constantly being compared to you and it boiled his blood. But eventually, he caved and began to take interest in you.

Kazan would come to you seeking advice, his chest fuming with shame and anger. The Entity was upset with him and he was confused. He did what he thought he had to, he killed them all with no hesitation, gave the survivors no chance to try and escape his wrath. You would chuckle at his ignorance and explain to him that his method was not what the boss wanted. You would have to teach Kazan that he wasn’t just a butcher anymore, he was a concertmaster, an artist, a conductor of suffering and hope. It wasn't just about end results, it was about the build-up to the end. Kazan would look at you with eyes of confusion and a mixed brain, you were speaking tongues to him. You would spend the next few nights consistently instructing him on what to do, drilling it into his thick skull that hey, maybe letting them go and prolonging chases will make the Entity happy. When you were at your wits-end, the task of teaching the samurai ogre making you wish you were dead, Kazan stomped up to you. He crossed his large arms over his bloated chest and without saying it, bragged about his merciless victory. You had done it, the impossible. This was when Kazan really began to respect you as a warrior. He viewed you through the eyes of not a war-machine but of a cunning and effective killer.

You two would have your bad days. The angry and all-consuming fire which the Entity feasted upon would grow and expand, consuming your common sense and reason until you were left with nothing but undesirable rage. The two of you would become inconsolable, burning beasts of destruction and death, and when your fires would reach their peak Kazan and you could not stand to be together. It was a mutual decision, better to stay away than to allow your fires to expand and consume one another. But after the Entity had Its way with you both you would find your back to each other with your tails between your legs. It had drained you so completely that now you were just tired and embarrassed by how easily you were manipulated by your boss. You greet each other with soft grunts or distant looks and you would stumble off to a spot where you both could just sit together and recoup some lost energy. During this time of fatigue, Kazan would allow you to sit extra close to him and maybe even allow you to lay your head on his shoulder. He didn’t see these actions as signs of weakness because, in those moments of quiet and exhaustion, Kazan craved your touch and comfort.

You both are killers, and in essence, both of you are beings who have lost a part of themselves that makes up the human condition. Now imagine, a stonewall desperate for the softness and comfort they lack and seeking it in the only other being present, which just happens to also be a stonewall. Affection is an odd topic when it comes to you and Kazan, neither of you knowing how to take that first step to being kind, slow and gentle. But what makes up for your initial deficiency in human contact is your ability to relearn it together. Hand in hand you and Kazan can learn to experience all those sweet little nothings that makes people happy and content, a journey of rediscovering the joys of the human condition.

Some days you will have to be the one initiating affection, reaching out to hold his hand or snaking your arms cautiously around his waist. He never pushes you away, secretly wanting physical contact as much as you do but being too prideful to act on his own urges. If you pull away from him prematurely expect him to grunt with dissatisfaction before following your retreating hands and replacing them back onto his body. It was his way of saying to stay with him and to not let go.

On the odd occasion that Kazan was the one to ask for affection, he would simply hover over you, drowning you in his shadow. He wasn’t going to use words to convey his intentions rather relying on you to pick up when he demanded attention. His favorite thing to do, something you would have to always watch out for, was as you walked past him while he was sitting he would grab you and swiftly pull you onto his lap. It was a humiliating position but one you would ease into. He was warm and big and he would suffocate you with his sheer size and weight. He was your wall, keeping out all the little voices that would otherwise want to hurt you. And you were his core, calm and collected, giving him gravity and sense.

!NSFW! Kazan is a huge man and is obviously a top. Even if, by some miracle, you were bigger than the mountain himself, he would still insist that he would be the one giving you pleasure rather than receiving; it’s an ego thing. He would be amazed by the size difference between you two and would often find himself hesitating when you would present yourself to him. His large, clawed hands would hover unsure and nervous about touching and possibly hurting your smaller body. Take his hands and guide them to your exposed flesh, welcome him to explore your body and he will be forever grateful. When the motions get going and things start to get more wild and rough, Kazan will still wait for clarification from you. He’d slow his pace and annoyed by the disruption you would growl, “What are you waiting for?” That was enough to send him on a mad frenzy, going into you at a relentless pace. You weren’t weak, he remembered, you were a warrior like him. And you could take whatever he dished out.

[captaincoffeegirl515]

I just started watching the Snowpiercer tv show and let me tell you, it's an awesome show. I've just finished episode 7 but I really need to rant.

Spoilers under the cut.

I hope the Folgers die painful deaths, especially their shitty spoiled sadistic murderous little bitch daughter. Can't believe they let her get away with killing 3 people and personally cutting their dicks off beforehand so she could hear and watch them scream. WHAT THE FUCK?? They literally found her guilty by unanimous decision but suddenly the higher power just goes 'oops nevemind let's let the serial killer off with zero consequences bc we dont wanna upset the rich people'.

Fuck that spoiled bitch's smug face when she got away scot free. And fuck her rich af parents that spoiled her and used their rich influence to let her get away with it.

And she's all 'but this guy I loved was the one who forced me to kill people'. Bitch please. Look at her face whenever shit happens. She revels in it. She enjoys inflicting pain. It's obvious she was the one who planned to kill those people.

God I want that pile of shit to die so bad ohmygods.

And I'm watching with my sister but I can't talk about it with her because she doesn't want to be 'political', which this show has heaps of. And bc she thinks the first class people deserve to have their amenities bc 'they paid for it'. Like are you fucking kidding me? So what if they paid for it. They don't do shit on the train, they don't work, they just eat and play and enjoy and have all this excess and waste so much. They are literally leeches on that train.

And they got the gall to think they deserve more than the other classes bc the lower classes got in free by rioting and rushing in when the train was about to leave. Well guess what? If there were no workers, all those spoiled first class people would not last at all. Clearly, the lower classes are more important because they help keep the train alive. They raise the animals and fish, they do the planting, the cleaning, the electricity, the entertainment, EVERYTHING.

But my sister doesn't get that. She still thinks they need the rich people around and let them keep their place. And she doesn't want to talk about it bc according to her 'we have different views and that some of what we think can be wrong'. Like she literally thinks that me saying there shouldn't be a first class is wrong. What??

Like literally there were 15-20 people in first class out of a train filled with 3000+. And they were using up so much of the train, Come on!

God she is so privileged. She has no fucking clue. But honestly, what did I expect from the same person that wrinkled her nose when she had to hand out relief goods to the poor bc she didn't like their smell.

So anywhoo. Rant done. But please don't let this dissuade you from watching the show. It's incredible. Definitely political with the class warfare. I love the acting, especially from the main guy. His eyes are so expressive and soulful. Trigger warnings though for gore and blood.

Oh and kudos to the actress playing the Folger's daughter. She played the spoiled rich kid perfectly and I absolutely despise her character.

[thelittlehansy]

How many things Hans share with domestic abusers ?

I just cant count the number time i read that hans remind them of their toxic abusive ex. Hans has already be link to "domestic abuser " in fanfic.  in some modern AU fanfic  i read Hans beats anna because you know...he is the villain. I also saw that there was some fanfic where Hans rapes anna and elsa 🤢 because you know....he didnt even kiss anna but he would totally do it because yeah....he is the villain.

And just people imagine the worst about what if hans succeed into marrying anna.  So lets back to one of my favorite things.

List 🤓🤓

This times how many signs hans share with abuser in the movie ? i took an article on the web about the subject.

1-CHARMING.

“Initially, he showers his woman with praise, adoration, and attention. His courtship is sweet and intense filled with phrases such as, “I can’t live without you.” He quickly pushes for an exclusive relationship or engagement.”

Yes he is charming ! There was love at first sight this is  very much possible hans said things describe above maybe he even means some of them because again...that scene when he is alone smile smitten  by anna under the boat. The only difference is that there was specific reasons about the fact that he ask quickly Anna to marry him he didn't have times the gates were going to be closed and he could said goodbye to his key to the throne this is why he propose so fast to anna. So the comparison with abusive relationship and what is describe above dont seems really honest as they was an explication to his behavior if he could have times to seduce her during a long time ,  he would have done it  i think (?) one the thing we know about him is that he is a very very patient person.

2. JEALOUS.

“He views other men as a threat to the relationship and accuses you of flirting with everyone from his brother to the mailman. “I know you are looking at him.” The irony is that he often is the one who is cheating.”

Behavior never show in the movie we dont know how he would have reacted to kristoff presence. when his show his "true colors" hans show us that he dont cares about anna and that   she is last of his worries.

X

3. MANIPULATIVE.

“This man is very intelligent. He knows how to detect your weak spots, and he uses your vulnerability and past pain to his advantage. “You were abused as a kid because you are so ugly.”

He never said such an horrible thing like what is described above but...he is smart he us manipulative he did use others people vulnerability ! So very much positive !

but again there is still these problem  about hans being manipulative ? ..who put totally in question hans manipulation in the movie toward anna and seriously put doubt about how much he actually manipulate anna.

 His smitten smile when she left also present in kids book who tell “ hans is smitten by the princess”  the fact that anna called him lunatic and not a liar in the book a  frozen of shadow. and hims admitted he did not manipulate her at all in a frozen heart

4. CONTROLLING.

He wants to know where you are going and who you are with at all times. He may check the mileage on your car or follow you to the grocery store. He often refuses to allow you to work because you might “meet someone.”

Behavior never show in the movie again once hans reveal his true colors he show us that he dont give a damn about anna.

X

5. A VICTIM.

“His poor choices are everyone else’s fault. When he loses his job, gets into a fight, or a business deal falls through, it’s always because of the other person. He is never at fault. “You make me hit you.””

Behavior never show in the movie when he reveal his true colors we dont know.

X

6. NARCISSISTIC.

“The whole world revolves around him. As the “little woman who is beneath him,” it is your job to meet his every need. He is the master; you are the unworthy slave. It’s invigorating for him to know that everyone around him “walks on eggshells.””

Behavior never show in the movie with anna or with the others people  also we dont know.

X

7. INCONSISTENT.

“Mood swings are a common trait for an abuser. One minute he seems happy and sweet, the next he is pounding his fist.”

Honestly i will not say behavior not show in the movie but more contradictory behavior hans really knows how to stay calm , tolerate frustration and Someone like that would have never succeeded  to did what hans did. I think He will act more like the duke of weselton if he had mood swings.

X

8. CRITICAL.

“No matter how hard you try you will never be able to satisfy this kind of man. He thinks nothing of degrading and verbally assaulting you. “You are a stupid, fat, disgusting tramp. You can never leave me. No other man would have you.””

Behavior not show in the movie at all.we dont know if we cant satisfy hans or if he degrade others people and verbally assault them. Then  again he left anna at the end he didnt tell her "no man expect me would want you" but the contrary he break her heart and leave her.

he said to anna that she was desperate for love and was willing to marry him just like that which was true and also an opinion shared by both Kristoff and Elsa and the audience.

the part when he said “you are not a match for elsa” he was responding to anna.

So thats left us with only one thing the “ oh anna if only there was someone out there who loved you”. and trying to deduce that from  this line Hans will said to anna the kind of stuff describe above is....extremely exaggerated. Behavior not show in the movie

not enough evidence.

X

9. DISCONNECTED.

His main goal is to isolate his victim from family and friends so that you are totally dependant on him. “Your family causes too much trouble for us. I don’t want you seeing them anymore.”

Again behavior not show in the movie he never tried to isolated anna when he show his true colors hans dont give a damn about anna anymore. Even the argument between the sisters was not intentional on his part anna arguing with elsa was far from being his goal since him what he wanted was elsa benediction and anna behavior was the last thing that he needed and just the fact that he wants to kill elsa as we all know is in order to be king not to isolated anna from her family. 

X

10. HYPERSENSITIVE.

The slightest offense sends him ranting. Everyone is out to “get him.”

Behavior never show in the movie  there was the moment with the duke of weselton  but the duke was not even criticized Hans but anna and Hans reaction was to assure his plan.

so we only have hans responding to anna that not this is her that is a not a match for elsa during his betrayal scene. So again based yourself on that and deduce “omg he is hypersensitive” is...exaggerated. We need more evidence. So in the end we just dont know again !

X

11. VICIOUS AND CRUEL.

A significant number of abusers harm children and animals as well as a partner. Inflicting pain and intimidating others is what gives him power. “I’ll kill you before I’ll let you go. If I can’t have you, no one will.”

Behavior not show in the movie he is able to show kindness to animals as he show it with Anna horse. We dont know about hans relationship with children and his whole relationship with animals. 

X

12. INSINCERELY REPENTANT.

He will swear to never “hit you again.” But unless he receives professional help and strong accountability it’s very unlikely that he will change.

Behavior never show in the movie the betrayal scene.

X

IN CONCLUSION : , we dont know. we just dont know if Hans had a behavior similar to domestic abuser with their girlfriend/spouse and if Anna would end up in a abusive relationship with him. 

honestly (that’s  only my opinion ) but judging by his behavior in the movie , his plans , his desire i think Hans would not have been an abusive Husband but an Absent Husband only interest by his job and not his queen since the start even if he liked Anna at some point his big dream to be king is what is the most important to him.

So  again  the only thing he has in common with domestic abuser is that he is manipulative but even that...hans manipulation on anna...is put in question everywhere in the beginning of the movie...books...vidéo games where it say he has a crush on her.All of the rest we just dont know or he saw contradictory behavior.

Hans never show us to be jealous , controlling, possessive, physically abusive , oversensitive , blame others and play the victim , oR inconsistent.  and even based on the movie we just cant affirm that hans is someone that verbally insult person since he never show that behavior again in the movie.

So hans acting like a domestic abuser is as true as a headcanon for someone who will like the idea of him being one. 

We just dont know how would have been his marriage with anna. All of this assumptions about hans characters to me really as based on the fact that we compare abusing someone and someone trust and put them in the same case.  This is not any better but this is believe  are two very different things. 

 i also have read lot of time woman said " hans was nice to anna and then show his true colors" then they compare that to abusive domestic relationship. But the thing is that an abuser once he show you his true colors he began to be controlling, jealous, physical abusive , emotionally abusive. Hans once he show his true colors. he leave anna he abandon her the comparaison is not very great here since in the end Anna yes would have trust issues but did not  suffer of abusive relationship victims suffer. 

We also learn think about Hans in his backstory in the frozen Franchise so yeah we dont have confirmation this is canon to the movie but this is very much canon to the frozen franchise and officially publish and approve by disney : He was not an abusive child.  he never abuse people on the contrary he was abuse by his father and brothers both physically and emotionally.  (the majority of people dont reproduce this behavior once adult but reject it) he Hates violence and is someone peaceful. He is not controlling over person but situation. He has all his life being bully because he is not cruel  and hates his father view on social darwinism and how he treat their citizens. He is used to criticized and be called a disappointment. He also dont play the victim. again the only thing confirm by his backstory is that he can be manipulative.

so i m gonna finish that post with that gif who show us that Anna is not scared of Hans. something again that rarely or just  dont have in domestic abusive relationship in real life.

[tatticstudio55]

So what's your opinion of dorne? And the martells? While i like them amd feel sorry from them, i also feel like Grrm writes them just for the shake of 'training&failing' at least in asoiaf. In all the pre-stuff they are probably coming right after the Targs in regards of... everything. But as you said the main plot now is basically justice & revenge (understandable) but they end up pretty much killing themselves and starting (civil) wars, that won't turn out in their favors.

2/5 As you said the attempts of getting the plan done, always end badly. But i feel like grrm wrote them... Dumb? I guess? Or really fucks with them? Because like, overall each character that we known of got at least some of there plans worked out. Somehow... But with the martells like... Not only dose none of their 'plans' succed, they also end up worser off? And i feel like that only because of stupidity? Or mabey i dont get it...

3/5 Or mabey i dont get it, but the plan: send 1 member of the royal family out for a very dangerous mission, where you have more than a 50% chance of dieing, seems like the worst plan ever a feudal house could work out? Or they also seem to be pretty naive? Like Dorans plas he spins over decades, are only ones who need a immense a mount of luck to succed? Like the marrige of AriannexViserys and later QuentlynxDany, then is trust in his family, daughter, destiny and to a point even divine justices?

4/5 Same goes with Quentlyn and his belief, in his destiny, about heros, song, the honkr of his father, his romantical view of the world. Even oberyn & his daughter... They seem all to act so tough and deep, while all of them overestimate themselves, becasue they all seem to believe they are coming out as winners, since there is somewhere divine justice? Arianne also, she all talks about how she has learnt, but of what i have read so far, she just seems as naive as before?

5/5 They all remind me a bit of book! Sansa, because in my mind, they all are a bit naive somehow? Like i have nothing against the Martells and them wanting revenge is totally understandable, but they seem like hopeful children, who then act rash, if their not-well-thought-out plan, dosent succed. And i dont think it will get better whwn FAegon arrives. Lets say I would be really surprised if someone survives, other than Ellaria & her kids.

Eh, I think they’re pretty sharp in general. I mean, ok, the Oberyn vs Mountain fight had no fairy tale ending, but it wasn’t a complete failure either. Oberyn managed to 1) inflict mortal wounds to Gregor Clegane while also ensuring that he’d die in the most excruciatingly painful way possible, 2) get a public confession from him, hence putting Tywin in a very delicate position and humiliating House Lannister, 3) his death ironically did wonders to stir the pot between Dorne and the Lannisters, which he probably would’ve wanted anyway, and 4) probably managed to poison Tywin Lannister while he was at it. It’s a popular theory, anyway. Here’s what Oberyn DIDN’T manage to do: 1) stay alive, and 2) make the Mountain publicly admit that the order to rape and kill Elia were from Tywin. A pity, but still... not bad. And Quentyn was dumb for trying to steal a dragon, but he still managed to smuggle inside the blockaded  and under siege Meereen in ADWD AND get inside that dragon cave to begin with. Gotta give them their due. Let’s wait and see what’ll happen with Arianne and Myrcella now. 

I remember reading once - forgot where - that whatever Stannis did, Dany did better. That in asoiaf you’ve got the “real deals’ and the “wannabes”. Well, I think the Martells are the read deal to the Lannister’s wannabes. Arianne is everything Cersei wish she was. The Doran/Arianne relationship is a positive foil to Tywin/Cersei. Put Quentyn and Oberyn together and you’ve got Jaime, except Oberyn is much cooler (well, was... sigh). The Martells can play the Game just as well as the Lannisters, but unlike the Lannisters, they don’t win by cheating. They’re just as cunning, but they also have a moral compass, unlike the Lannisters. They have more class, more integrity, better sass, and while I agree that it’s possible that both families will bite it by the end, House Martell will be remembered as the pretty cool ones with a prince so bold that he defied the Mountain in a single combat, while House Lannister’s legacy will be the memory of a self-glorifying hypocritical asshole who died on the toilet.