#but i csnt even do that i struggle making more or keeping the ones i already have so LOL

[paradisaeaparedrae]

I just want to gush about my baby and our future and what they do for me so don't mind this 💚🧡

Oh my God im so in love with them. They're so perfect for me. I've been struggling really hard with my identity and you know what they do? Accommodate me every chance they get with little to no mistakes ever and we just move on! They make me feel like I'm not delusional, they actively encourage me even if its silly. They make me feel comfortable with who I am, who I want to be, and who I might be. They called me a pillow prince and I LOST IT (in the best way) omg my heart omg

They take care of me so well. They were put down before because they "wouldn't be a provider" because they struggled to find a good job that paid them what they're worth, meanwhile I have 10000s of gifts from them and even a get well package after my surgery. They bought me a Kaveh sweater and the matching Alhaitham one for them, they got me Haikaveh house keys i have dangling on a necklace, we have matching dendro magnets. I have hand written cards, makeup, books etc. They buy me lunch atleast once a week since I struggle to move around from reconstruction and I've lost over 30lbs. Not only that but they're saving up so much money and even got their passport application done to hopefully be able to be here on our first anniversary at the end of October.

They never were comfortable with the thought of having kids because of their OCD and phobia, but here we are, talking about having kids. What it would be like for me to have their babies. And they are the ones bringing this up!!! Oh my God we want a family so bad. To be a domestic family and settle down. To have kids right away. For them to hold me and put their hands on my stomach 😭 God I want to give them all the kids, I can't wait to be their homemaker. To be my dream of being a parent and making a house a home.

I can't believe we dated for a few months when we were kids on tumblr. We went thru so many ups and downs. So many friendship breakups but we always came back. And it turns out we weren't the problem but others in our lives keeping us apart when all we wanted to be was best friends. We've grown so much and I've never been happier. And truthfully? Over the last 8/9 years? I've never stopped loving them. They have always been my other half, and I csnt believe I got them back.

I love my Alhaitham. They always found me they always kept me safe. Even when I didn't want to hear it. Even when it was hard. And I fall more in love w them every day

[thisdogpaystaxes]

i work really hard and i can't win. i'm doing really bad at work learning my new position that i busted my ass to get and i feel so dumb and i can't even try to talk about it bc i cry bc i'm so sensitive to it bc i really want this and i want a good work life balance but i can't have that if works not computing. i haven't been able to work properly in months and it's bc i haven't been taking my adderall.

i transfer for my new job on monday. I DONT HAVE A CAR! my fucking car is still broken and being worked on. i've poured my savings into this car, my savings that i'm trying to use for school. the one thing i care for most. school. my fucking little dumb seemingly unattainable dream of being a therapist :D how am i gonna get to work bro.

i start grad school in three weeks and i'm so scared. every time i try to get mroe familiarized i'm interrupted by some shit. it's so expensive and i fear nothing will click bc nothing is at work. i'm scared that if it does click, i'll still struggle because i'm working 40 hours and i don't know what i'm even doing. i feel like i'm pouring money into the one thing i want most and i'm gonna fuck it up!!!! this is all i want!!! i just want to be a therapist so fucking bad but there's road blocks!!!

i know i need to be patient and grind for what i want but i'm gonna fuck it up! BC GUESS WHAT THERES MORE

my cyclothymia is doing its thing and i'm really sad and depressed and unmotivated and i can't feel properly. i've been with this guy for a few months and he's awesome. he treats me perfectly, he takes care of me, he gets along with my family- and is also a lot older than i am. but that's not the problem. i just can't do a relationship and ** ***** high key like things just haven't been the same i just randomly stopped feeling the same way about him but he's so in love with me and i thought i felt the same but then i saw my friend and her partner and it made me realize i'm not :) i know what i'm like when i'm in love and immm jsut not. or maybe it's different but he's not the one i don't think and now i'm like oh

but is that me talking or my incapability of feeling that rn bc i'm depressed. i'm also convinced i just won't find romantic love in this life and i've been saying that bc of the love i have for my friend sis honestly enough.

i love my girl friends though like i literally can't get enough of them and they are why i'm alive. they're my favorite people ever!

i would like to add that my body is ruined. it is upsetting. bc even if i make it i will die young. my hips are so fucked i can barely walk. i keep getting infections. and candida overgrowth in multiple ways. and my brain is rotten. my hands keep cramping and having trouble moving bc my bones r fucked. which is giving me tendinitis. i have an eating disorder so i either binge or starve. bc i don't feel hungry just sick if it's even that. and i drink a lot!

but at least i'm trying right.

and like i'm so capable of dealing with other peoples problems like i have a lot of chaos but i really can and that's why i want to be a therapist bc like fuck let me help you!!!

but things just keep happening. and people in my life keep needing me at times when i just need to be alone and detox and try to be okay. my soul is being torn apart by the limbs. all of these things i just talked about are happening consistently one after another, where the physical deterioration is sprinkled between the life situations. and it sucks. things won't stop happening i just want peace so bad like a day of no physical pain or mental anguish bc im in a rough fucking spot and it's just exhausting

this is me trying. i'm trying i'm trying i'm trying like i'm doing my fucking best but i csnt stay awake bc of my brain and my body both being so injured. and i keep hurting the people around me, not all but yeah the men. always hurting men. not my kiggs though he's my angel baby. they don't deserve it, im just destroyed!

[nepenthendline]

Helping S/O through a panic attack -  Tanaka, Daichi and Hinata

I hope this is ok to be done in bulletpoints since theres multiple characters, but I hope you are doing a bit better, and this helps you even just a little. I totally understand the pain of panic attacks and I’ve used how mine are for these so I hope you can relate to this too ❤️

Request: This is kinda an emergency request (I feel bad for saying that Bc yeah) but can you please do tanaka, daichi and Hinata helping an s/o through a terrible panic attack? Like they csnt breathe and they feel like they’re going to die? It’s okay if you Cant no pressure :)

Tanaka:

he has no idea what’s going on when you start crying, hunched over clutching your chest

he panics a lot too when he sees you like this, he’ll instantly be at your side,  holding you tightly in his arms, asking you what’s going on

through your hyperventilation, you manage to get out in a whisper that you’re having a panic attack

he’s going to ask you if he needs to call an ambulance since he can tell it’s extremely bad, but you shake your head and grab onto him

he has no clue what to do, but he will do and try anything to get you to feel better

he lifts you up to sit in his lap and holds you close to his chest, one arm around you to support you and one stroking your hair

he rocks you back and forth as he tries talking to you about random things to calm you down

he’s near crying himself when he hears how heavy your breathing is, and the whines of pain you let out as your hands and head go numb

if you try and tell or gesture to him that you can’t feel parts of your body, he’ll do his best to massage them, trying to get the blood flowing and soothe you with his touch

he’ll whisper sweet words to you, telling you how well you’re doing, how much he loves you and that you’re going to be ok

if you tell him that you’ve been through this before, he’ll remind you that you got through it last time, so you can and will get through it again

once you start to calm down a little, he’ll only leave your side to get you some water and food, other than that he is going to have you curled up close to him all night so he can keep an eye on you

if you fall asleep, he’ll stay awake for the whole time in case something happens so he can look after you, he’ll also do a lot of research on his phone while you sleep about how to care for you once you wake up, and what to do next time if this happens again

Daichi:

while he doesn’t know the full details and care for panic attacks, he has had to help Asahi multiple times through his and he’s come across a few tips and techniques to guide someone through them

as soon as your breathing gets heavy, he’ll lay you down and hold you close to him, reminding you that you’ll be ok and that he is there with you

he’s firstly going to check that your physical state, such as if you’re getting too hot, too dehydrated and how your eyes are responding, then he’ll focus on getting your breath steady and calming you down

he’ll hold your hand in his to steady your shaking, and let you grip onto him tightly

taking deep, long breaths, he’ll ask you to try and breathe with him, breathing in for 8 seconds, and breathing out for the same - even though you struggle through it, he always encourages you to keep trying

he will tell you that he is there to take care of you, and that once you get your breathing under control you’ll start to feel a lot better

he’s much more logical in his approach rather than emotional - of course he tells you how amazing you are doing through this, but he also knows there are things he needs to check up on, and techniques you need to go through in order to help you

he stays extremely calm throughout the whole time, helping you to feel a bit calmer too

when your breath has slowed down a little, he’ll try to recenter you back in the room, using techniques such as asking you small questions so your attention will be on his voice and answering him, rather than your panicking

once you get to a manageable level, he’ll grab you some water and a sugar snack due to possible dehydration and a crash of energy

he’ll also make sure you get some rest, and will be with you the whole time

Hinata:

when Hinata first sees you having a panic attack, he also thinks you’re dying

he’s going to panic a lot, and probably start crying at the fear of you being ill or loosing you

once you’re about to whisper out, or write down that it’s a panic attack, it doesn’t really stop him from panicking but at least he knows you don’t need urgent medical assistance

he has no idea whatsoever about how to help panic attacks, so he just holds you close to him and continuously tells you that you’re going to be ok, and that he’s there for you (he’s more telling himself that than you)

when your breath gets even heavier and more staggered, he knows this is way out of his depths to deal with, so he’ll turn to calling Asahi to ask him what to do, since he knows the third year tends to panic a lot too

with some advice from Asahi (and some more panicking from both of the boys) he’ll ask you to follow his deep breathing in hopes it’ll help reset yours

he’ll also talk to you to try and take your mind off it, such as telling you about volleyball or some of his recent matches

he follows everything Asahi tells him to do exactly, like getting you water, making sure you’re breathing deep enough and laying you down so you can rest

he’ll play with your hair and stroke your arm until you settle down and fall asleep

he’s going to cry to himself a little afterwards since it’s such a scary situation to deal with for the first time, but he’s dedicated to learning more about how to help you in the future