#but i couldn't be bothered to study for it again which probably should have told me enough abt whether going into this again is a good idea
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seaofreverie · 2 months ago
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So busy with Sparkstember that I almost forgot that I go back to school on tuesday
#honestly maybe it's better this way. i'd rather just not care at all rather than be super stressed about it#just like i've been doing with every little thing for most of my life#might have missed the date when we were supposed to choose our elective courses. well whatever Lol#and i still don't even know what my schedule is or what classes i have this semester oopsie#well the university itself doesn't seem particularly pressed about giving us the schedule either#but i'd probably better still read up on the classes at least before they start#i don't have high hopes for this year just like with the last. probably should just stop pretending that i still want to study anything atp#this wasn't even my first choice of a course bcs i had to prepare for that damn exam to be accepted for my preffered one#but i couldn't be bothered to study for it again which probably should have told me enough abt whether going into this again is a good idea#i'm so tired just thinking about it but i know that actually looking for a job and then having a job will be a thousand times worse so uh#but at least i'd have my own money and start doing something ughhhh. useful maybe. who knows what it will be though#i have no ideaaaaaa. but this feels like just putting off the inevitable. like at some point i need to get my shit together#i will probably report at the end of the next week about how i'm so done already#i don't really knowwww mannnnnm. i don't feel like i had any vacation at all even though 3 months have already passed#and i also sort of didn't prepare something relatively easy to do that would have given me an actual document#that would confirm that i actually finished that part-time school thing last semester#can't really be bothered to come back to it at this point though#well at least i learned something actually useful and interesting from that and that's enough for me tbh#and a lot of it is also relevant to my current area of interest (digital drawing and computer graphics in general)#well speaking of which i'd better just get back to drawing now lol. just one more left to finish!!!#in short i guess that my new way of dealing with stress is just ignoring it all#well it's worked in some way at least so it can't be an entirely bad thing lol#goosepost
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carbondioxidewater · 3 days ago
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Make A Move (Pt. 5)
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footballplayer!Sukuna x fem!reader
genre: slow-burn romance, college au, fluff, angst
warnings: none so far
word: 3.1
(-> Pt. 1) (-> Pt. 2) (-> Pt. 3) (-> Pt. 4) (-> masterlist)
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On sunday morning, you woke up early, even though you hadn't been sleeping much. The events of the previous day came back to you one after the other. First, you thought about the game and Sukuna's impressive skills in it.
You reflected on the motorcycle ride with him and how he drove you to the Rainbow Bridge just so you could see the city at night. That must've been one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for you. You turned over on your side in your bed, smiling.
And then you remembered how you almost kissed and how he treated you completely different later at the party than when you were alone. A feeling of embarrassment washed over you again at the thought that everyone present had noticed Sukuna not wanting to kiss you. Not that you were dying to feel his soft lips, probably salty from the sweat - no, that wasn't it. Because even if that were the case, it was more the fact of how and why he rejected you that was bothering you.
But asking him was out of the question. After all, you still had enough pride left to not give him that pleasure. After all, he wasn't obliged to kiss you. You shouldn't let anything show, otherwise he might get the wrong idea. And with that mentality, you went to your first lecture on Monday.
After the lecture, you entered the cafeteria. Today they cooked vegetarian pasta again and it always tasted delicious. You grabbed a plate, had it filled up, and walked over to the where the silverware was. As you were putting down your tray, someone spoke up directly from the side.
"I got your message, by the way."
You weren't startled this time.
"Did you know that people usually greet each other before starting a conversation?" you expressed calmly and Sukuna burst out laughing. You always managed to entertain him.
"Sorry, hi princess."
"Hi." you said quietly, a gloomy feeling at the nickname. "What message?"
"Yuji told me he should wish me 'good luck' from you."
"So?"
"Well, I certainly was lucky, after all you really came. But..." he didn't finish his sentence, obviously waiting for your reaction. Was he really trying to flirt with you again? This man was difficult.
You took your tray and moved towards one of the tables. Of course Sukuna followed you and sat down on the opposite chair. You sighed.
"But what, Sukuna? What do you want?" you asked in annoyance.
"You should give me your number. I couldn't even make sure you got home safe on Saturday." he flashed his shiny white teeth at you.
"Why do you care? I went home with my friends." you said, but not snippy, more in a neutral tone.
"I know that." he simply returned and didn't seem to have anything else to say. He just looked at you.
Seriously? He doesn't mention what happened at all? Well, if he can act like nothing happened, so can you.
"I don't like being watched while eating." you said bluntly and Sukuna couldn't help but smile.
"Why, are your table manners so terrible?" he countered. You puffed.
"Aren't you hungry?" you then asked, whereupon he told you that he had already eaten.
"I saw you and with you the opportunity."
"The opportunity for what?" you then questioned.
"Asking you for your number."
"You have my address already, that should be enough."
You would not let him get any closer to you.
He chuckled and you ate the first forkful of pasta.
"So you don't want to give it to me?" he carried on.
"Obviously not."
"Okay, I'll find a way. Oh, and enjoy your meal." he winked at you. And then he stood up and left the table.
Finally you could eat in peace.
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You didn't see him for the next few days, which gave you enough time to concentrate on your studies. It was thursday evening and you had to give in your assignment for neurolinguistics, the due date was today. You quickly finished explaining how the priming effect works, when suddenly Utahime entered your room with the mail in her hand.
"Oh, are you finished for today already?" you asked, referring to her job, to which she nodded.
"But look at this!" she said, astonished, and waved a letter in front of your face.
The letter was addressed to you, but had no sender. Strange.
You opened it and the content was a single sheet of paper with a few lines written on it.
"You're right, your address is enough. If you don't want to give me your number, I'll have to try this way ;)"
Your face immediately heated up, you never thought he would go out of his way like that. But what was he doing that for? What was his ulterior motive?
Utahime saw your shocked face and read the letter. Then she laughed.
"Wow, he's really trying. Have you eaten yet? Should we order something?"
And together, you ended the evening with a juicy pizza.
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But on the next day, you found a note in your locker too. You opened the folded paper and it said:
"Meet me under the bleachers"
Oh God, your heart was pounding. Just what was he thinking?
You decided to meet him at the stands to ask him to stop this whole thing. Even though you were really flattered by the attention, it still hurt your ego that he apparently thought he could win you over like that. Was it working? Maybe a little, but he didn't have to know that. And you definitely wouldn't fall for it any further.
When you finally got there, there was no sign of him. You asked the few players practicing on the field about him.
"Sukuna? No, he's not here. As far as I know he has a philosophy class right now."
Philosophy? You didn't even know that was his second subject. But that explained why he was around you so often, because philosophy and linguistics were taught in the same building. But why did he send you here then? Nothing he did made sense and you were slowly getting fed up with this chaos.
You were just on your way back into the building when all of a sudden, you bumped into someone's back on accident. He turned around and to your surprise, it was the menace himself.
"Careful." he laughed lightly. But you were a bit pissed at him right now and just walked past him. He walked after you.
"Hey, where are you going?" he yelled.
"I don't feel like playing your games. Find someone else to annoy." you said without even looking at him.
He grabbed your wrist and brought you to a stop. When you tried to escape his grip, he blocked you with his arm and caged you in.
"Calm down. What's going on with you?" Sukuna exclaimed.
"No, what's going on with you? Why do you leave those notes in my locker, arrange a meeting and then don't come?"
"That's what it is about?" He chuckled. "Now do you see how complicated it is? If I had your number, you would have known when I wrote the message."
You were flabbergasted, was that really his plan behind all this? To show you the need to exchange numbers?
"Or you can just write the time next time!" you spat out.
"Next time? So you like when I leave you letters?" he smirked and upset you with his presumptuous words.
"Don't twist my words..." you pouted and looked to the side. He let you go now, you had calmed down.
"Then what do you say: We have another game next Friday. If we win, I get your number, if we lose... well, you can choose."
"Why do you want my number so badly?" you probed.
"Because I like you. You're fun to be around."
This confession knocked you off balance, but you swallowed your speechlessness. In the end, two could play that game.
"Okay, if you lose, you'll never ask me for my number again." You smiled mischievously and he followed suit, tilting your chin upwards with his big hand before responding.
"It's settled then."
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You stayed at Shoko's for the weekend, since you wanted to binge-watch the new season of your series. Utahime didn't like the show and had to work anyway, so it was just the two of you tonight.
After a few episodes, however, it turned into a deep talk session. You told Shoko everything that had happened with Sukuna so far and she reprimanded you for getting into this 'pact'.
"His team will win either way, the only ones who would have a chance against them are the UOT." she explained and you thought about her words.
UOT? Of course! They say their quarterback is on par with Sukuna. They are the biggest rivals!
"Are they gonna play against each other too?" you wondered.
"I think not until the very end of the season. That's the most important game after all."
The end of the season... So in about 8 weeks. But wait a minute...
"How do you even know that?" you stared at Shoko in amazement and she looked up at the ceiling.
"A few of my high school friends are on this team. Utahime knows them too."
"What? Why am I only finding out about this now?" you shifted in your seat, grinning at her. She shrugged.
"I never thought it was important. After all, you haven't been interested in football until now."
You nodded. Then your phone rang. You took it from the coffee table and saw that it was Utahime, but before you could even pick up, she already hung up.
"Who was it?" Shoko interrupted and you told her, but you two didn't think much of it.
You thought that maybe she called you on accident, so you sent her a message asking "are you okay?" and checked her location. She was still at the hotel. A few minutes later, she finally replied and confirmed that everything was indeed alright.
"Okay she just replied, she's fine. But next time we're all together, you two have to tell me more about your mysterious old friends." You waggled your eyebrows and Shoko laughed.
"Yeah, yeah, even if there's not really much to tell."
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And then you were back in the stadium, this time, on your campus. It was a home game and the people on the stands were louder than at the last game, but this time you secured yourselves better seats. You were sitting in the front row now!
At the opening, all of the players walked onto the field and turned to the audience. Sukuna waved at the big crowd, his eyes moving from left to right, and finally rested his gaze on you, a small smirk spreading on his face. And then it was kickoff. As always, Sukuna's leading skills ensured a successful first half. It was clear that the team had been a unit for a long time, as well as they complemented each other.
After the first half, there was the usual break and you used it to quickly go use the bathroom. The line was long though, of course you weren't the only one who had to go after such a long time. But luckily, it quickly emptied and after you were done, the break was almost over. While the water was tingling on your hand, you heard a few girls coming in, chattering. You recognized the cheerleaders, one of them was the blonde girl named Manami.
"So, how are things going with Sukuna now?" asked Manami's friend.
At the mention of that name, you became very wary. You felt like you were eavesdropping, but you couldn't turn off your hearing sense after all.
"I think he likes me." Manami said the words dreamily, but you couldn't listen to their conversation any longer, because if you stayed at the sink for too long, you would attract their attention. You dried your hands and then went out the door.
What was their true relationship to each other? She thinks he likes her? What is he doing for her to think that? You had a weird gut feeling on your way back and when your friends noticed, they asked if you were okay. You lied to them and, thank goodness, that feeling disappeared as soon as the second half of the game started again.
And as Shoko predicted, your team won. The others weren't bad by any means, but Sukuna isn't feared in the world of football for nothing. He once again secured a great victory and after the game ended, his teammates all ran towards him to celebrate.
They picked him up and carried him to the front of the stands while you and the others clapped for their success. Many shouted his name, others shouted for the other players, but his grinning, smug look was only on you.
His comrades let him down and the crowd slowly started to leave the stands as Sukuna continued to keep you under his spell. He stepped on a bench in front of it, leaned his elbow on the railing of ​​the stands and pulled out a small piece of paper from his pocket. He pressed it between his fingers proudly and held it in front of his slightly tilted face, a mischievous smile on it, so that you could make out the numbers on the note.
You narrowed your eyes in an attempt to see more clearly and as the digits became visible, you recognized them as your phone number.
How did he-
You were about to ask him that, but Aoi intervened, jumping onto the bench and putting his arm over Sukuna's shoulder, happily dragging him into the locker room.
When you finally came down the stairs, you decided to wait for Sukuna outside. Your friends were talking about something you didn't pay attention to.
Then the door opened and you walked towards Sukuna expectantly, but he was stopped by Manami at that moment. You saw her putting her arm around his and how she walked to the parking lot with him. That made you abandon the whole plan and you went back home with your girls.
When you got there, you got a message from an unknown number.
unknown number: not even curious how I got your number?
That was definitely Sukuna. Your mood immediately worsened. You just couldn't figure him out. You threw your phone on the bed and made yourself something to eat. Cooking should calm you down, so you put on some music and started chopping. It took half an hour before you got the motivation to text him back.
you: aren't you out with the cheerleader right now?
You sent the message and threw your phone away from you again. Why had you been so direct? You were about to take your phone to delete the message, but Sukuna had already replied.
unknown number: oh you're curious about something else I see. u stalking me? ;)
you: no, I just saw you two together after the game. hope you had fun.
unknown number: yea sure had.
you: good for you.
Somehow the message came across as more bitter than you anticipated, and Sukuna also noticed the harsh tone.
unknown number: wait, you weren't seriously thinking I was after you, were you?
you: of course not? I was being genuine.
You were not. He typed.
unknown number: well then, that's good.
And then you left him on read. Asshole.
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The whole weekend was spent trying to figure Sukuna out, but as much as you tried, his motives remained unclear to you. You even started listing different possibilities together with Shoko and Utahime, but for every idea there was something in Sukuna's behaviour that didn't add up. You set up three theories:
REASON NUMBER ONE: He really just likes you platonically. But then why did he flirt with you sometimes, why did he almost kiss you, why did he put in such an effort into getting your number?
REASON NUMBER TWO: He was just trying to get into your pants. Maybe there was something going on with this girl, Manami, and he didn't want her to find out. But then why did he never make a move on you like that? Apart from the teasing, he's never been disrespectful or dirty towards you.
And, this was the most unlikely one, but,
REASON NUMBER THREE: He had a serious interest in you. But then, why wouldn't he just be straight forward? Why was this girl all over him at all times? And why didn't he do something against it? Or was he keeping the both of you as mere options?
Whatever it was, it was getting on your nerves. And you decided you wanted to make clear to him that the both of you should either be friends or nothing.
You were just taking a few things out of your locker when there was a sudden bang next to you. You took the last book out of it and then looked at the source.
"Boo." Sukuna called out, pressing his lower arm against the locker. He was wearing a simple white sweater with the sleeves rolled up, but it was so tight that it highlighted his broad, big chest. His hand was clenched into a fist, which meant that you had a perfect view of his flexing muscles as well.
You gulped and tried not to let on how attractive that was to you, because you couldn't afford to seem weak in front of him.
"Wow I'm so scared." you commented and closed your locker.
"I bet you are, now that I've got your number." he claimed. Then you faced him.
"Where did you get it from anyway?" you wondered. You still didn't have a single clue.
He smiled wickedly again.
"Why don't you ask your friend Utahime?"
Safe to say that's not what you expected coming out of his mouth.
"You're lying." you doubted.
"Why would I do that?" he replied with a foxy grin.
You took a deep breath.
"Alright, I'm gonna ask her later. But can we stop with the constant banter, it's giving me a headache."
"Oh, why's that?" he came closer, but you pushed him away again.
"It was fun in the beginning, but it's getting annoying now. Let's just be normal friends." you proposed.
"Friends?" Sukuna raised an eyebrow gently, considering your words and quirking a small smile. "You wanna befriend me?" he seemed oddly delighted about that. You didn't know if he was poking fun at you or not.
"Yeah, isn't that what you wanted?" you inquired, dumbfounded by his reaction.
"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Alright, let's be friends then." he stared down at you, a gleam in his eyes that you couldn't make out.
Yes, it would definitely be better to be friends. That way, he wouldn't constantly irritate you with his mixed signals.
And with that, your friendship with the star player began.
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RAHHH he's so confusing!!! Wdym you send me LETTERS to contact me?!?!?! And then say you're not after me? ARGHHH
What do you think his intentions are? As always, reblogs and comments are so so appreciated! I wanna hear your thoughts about it so bad! <3
taglist: @miakxn @aureliaborea @nonamevenus @silkija @sad-darksoul @joh-ahae @mysteriaqueen @rebirthbunbun @inflatabledinosaurs19
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nomatterwhatnomatterwhere · 1 month ago
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Feels (Warm) like Sunlight
max verstappen x reader
author note's: this story has been floating in the back of my head for longer than I am willing to admitt, so although I'm not really sure about how I feel about this , I hope you enjoy it even a little bit
Feels ( Harsh) like Winter Wind
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You were really beautiful.
You always had been but that night you were much more beautiful than he remembered.
The dress you were wearing seemed to be sewn on you. For you.
You shone that night, maybe more than the lights that brightened the terrace, maybe more than the stars.
It was one of the things that drove people to notice you, to approach you, not that you were aware of it, anyway.
But it wasn't that that led him to you, it was your laughter: a sound he would have recognized among a thousand, a sound he wouldn't have been able to forget, even if he tried.
It was strange, seeing you again after so long. To see you again in person.
It tasted like remorse mixed with regret.
You and Max had known each other since middle school, when you were kids with social problems who were only comfortable on the Kart track.
Max used to race there, on karts. The kart track was practically his home. But for you it was a different story: you were at the top of the class, the teachers loved you, and not all the students seemed to like you, and Max knew this despite the absences because of racing.
It was clear, any place you were in was illuminated by your presence alone.
Yet that light was not warm. Max knew this well.
He knew it because the light you gave off when you were at the kart track, though smaller and dimmer, warmed everyone around you.
The atmosphere was different when you were there, and Max had seen it with his own eyes: no one on the staff would point out to you that there were places you couldn't be, not when you asked them if everything was okay, if they wanted some water, if they wanted one of those milk candies you always carried around.
Max didn't ask, he didn't know you, he had no reason to ask. He was there for the karts.
The kart track owners had taken you under their wing, considered you a daughter.
They were your foster parents, after all.
You weren't quite sure if the staff knew, that you weren't really their daughter, but given how they turned a blind eye to some things, they probably thought you were really the owners' natural daughter.
( How could you not think so when it was obvious you were their daughter: it was obvious in the way they looked at you, the way they talked about you, it was the light in their eyes that made it obvious.
You were the only one who did not see it )
You had said it yourself once when his father had dropped him off at the kart track.
You were at the reception desk, doing your math homework. You asked him if he wanted to be driven home, since the go-kart track would be closing soon and going home alone could be dangerous, he told you that you didn't have to worry, and then you offered him a milk candy.
You had started doing this every time his father left him there: asking him if he wanted to go home and then offering him a candy after he refused.
When he came back from competitions you would get him the list of school subjects he was supposed to catch up on, sometimes you would give him your notes.
You started studying together, there at the reception table.
His father didn't seem bothered, in fact, since studying with you Max's grades had improved, and as long as he was doing well in school the too many absences didn't matter.
“He has a strange way of showing that he loves you.”
You should have been in class, but he had received permission to leave the classroom because of the situation between his parents, divorce papers and all, you, on the other hand, had simply decided to skip class.
( which was strange on your part, which is why you were only sent home with a reprimand.)
You had been sitting on the steps of the emergency stairs when you had told him and he was eating one of your candies, you gave him the whole package.
You had talked about you, about your biological family that you knew existed but didn't really spend time with, about your foster family that you didn't really feel a part of but were grateful for, about the fact that you hated studying despite the fact that studying came easy to you and that sometimes you thought it was the only thing you were good at, about a book that looked interesting but you hadn't bought because you had three other books looking at you judiciously from your nightstand waiting to be read, about a scarf that you thought would look good on him but you weren't sure he would like the fabric and that maybe you could go shopping together.
You had talked about everything that had crossed your mind in order to give him something else to think about.
You could have listed the characteristics of cockroaches and Max would still have listened to you.
He liked your voice; it was cozy, warm, gentle.
Completely different from what he heard at home.
You were not exactly his safe place, but at that moment you were what he had closest to a pleasant place.
Following his parents' divorce and his moving in with his father, your relationship had strengthened.
You continued to see each other at the kart track, study together, sometimes even went to his races, even when they were not in your immediate vicinity, even when your priorities should have been other
“I understand that the race has your undivided attention and interest, but the literature assignment will not do itself alone.”
Again, his father did not seem bothered by your presence; when you were there Max had better performances-he cared about making a good impression when you were there.
It was nice when you complimented him, meant every word, were genuinely happy for him.
It was less nice when, at the end of the race, he wasn't the first person you complimented because you were talking to someone else
It was the same in school, too. No matter how out of place or socially awkward you felt, your light attracted people, just as it did for moths.
It was obvious, how every time there was someone trying to get your attention, even for a moment, to enjoy your warmth. And you, like the kind person you were, gave your undivided attention to those who demanded it.
It was annoying.
But then, as if sensing it, you would find him in the crowd and run in his direction, smiling, congratulating him on the race.
He didn't even realize the smug look he took on when you preferred him over everyone else; it was his sister who had pointed it out to him.
It was his debut in Formula 1 and his race had ended after 32 laps due to engine failure.
His mood was not the best when he had returned to the pits, but he was not the only one, as you seemed rather annoyed as well
“Some people can't take no gracefully” was what Victoria had said after your umpteenth frustrated sigh and his raised eyebrow ‘ One of the older guys asked her out and she turned him down, but the guy wants a ’valid reason.' Not even the time difference seems to stop him.”
He wasn't surprised: you were pretty, people liked you, and more than once Max had witnessed guys asking you out. A couple of times even girls.
That wasn't new.
What was new was the fact that someone demanded a valid reason for a rejection.
What the fuck did that mean? You were not required to give any 'valid reason,' but knowing you, you had already given the asshole an explanation.
It bothered him. The situation bothered him. It bothered him that he never noticed your situation.
“I'm pretty sure she thought about throwing the phone into the street, hoping one of the cars would run over it-”
“Then I thought it might cause serious trouble” you had inserted yourself into the conversation after spending a good quarter of an hour on the phone "Sorry about the race, you were doing well-ugh" you had just leaned into him when your phone had started ringing again, but you refused the call, as you had for the three that followed because ”I came for you, not to talk on the phone”
“She kept rejecting every other call because ' you deserved all the attention you could get-wipe that look off your face. You're disgusting.”
Max didn't think he was disgusting. There was no reason why he should hide the satisfaction he felt at being the recipient of your attention. Especially after a debut that had not yielded the desired results.
He is not sure what happens next, not sure when your attention becomes part of the background, not sure when your presence is no longer needed for better performance, not sure when your light, your warmth, are no longer the same.
He is not sure when all this is happening, because otherwise he would have noticed how you started to stop showing up at his competitions, to stop sending him good luck or congratulatory messages, to remove yourself from his life.
Because otherwise he would not have felt so bewildered when, after years, he heard your voice again and realized that you had only disappeared from his life, not from his family's.
That you were no longer an integral part of his life, but he was no longer an integral part of yours.
He had been leaning back, sitting with his back to the wall, as he listened to his mother and sister talking to you in the next room, blissfully unaware of his presence.
Your voice had remained the same, always warm and kind, as you mediated between his mother and Victoria about Victoria's current boyfriend, as you updated them on your plans for the day, when you would show up for lunch at their house now that you had finally moved to Monaco, what to expect from the new radio show you would be hosting.
Max had no idea you lived in Monaco, had no idea you worked in radio, had no idea you were a well-known name, even outside the radio world.
He found out the next morning, while listening to the column you had talked about the day before, when your co-host introduced you as the host of the most popular late-night column. Not only of your radio station, but in general. Or when one of the guests very shyly asked if they could be invited on your youtube channel, which you had accepted without any problem.
Before Max knew it, with your gentle voice that smelled like home,and your being able to talk about anything while putting others at ease, you were back to being what he had closest to a pleasant place.
It was your voice that listened when something in the race didn't go as planned and he had to calm his nerves. It was your videos he followed between training and simulator sessions.
You would talk about the pros and cons of doing a job like yours, in the public eye but whose physical and mental stress many ignored, recounting some funny episodes, making some criticism of the system, sometimes inviting guests to take the floor and express their thoughts.
Occasionally you would talk about your life, what you liked and what you disliked, the more or less peculiar hobbies you had, as you got ready to go to work or work-related events.
Those were Max's favorites, which in a rather unhealthy way, felt that he was a part of your life again.
It was during one of those episodes, one of the rare live ones, that he realized he was still part of your life. Indirectly.
“Is there an F1 race or something?” you chuckled slightly ”I guess that means you can hear the noises. Uhm-” you had looked to the side, then started walking ”I mean someone sure is racing but is not an F1 race, sorry. Just karting” you had arrived near a track that Max knew well, having spent most of his life there, apologizing for the noise by raising your tone of voice as you picked up the passing karts ”I'll make sure to pass the compliments tho. Pretty sure they'll be happy to hear someone thought they were F1 drivers”
You had said this with a look that to Max seemed nostalgic, or perhaps he hoped it was; he selfishly wanted to believe that you were thinking back to the time you both had spent there.
Since you 'revealed' you had spent most of your life between races and motors, your audience had not only expanded, but had also begun to ask you for content about that world you knew from the inside.
It was frustrating, walking around the paddock and having the feeling of having heard your voice in the confusion, of catching a wisp of your hair among the people and feeling like he was hallucinating in some way when he couldn't find you.
It was even more frustrating when you had talked on the radio about how much you would love to be a correspondent at a Grand Prix or when on the channel you had seemed so enraptured to be in the paddock, to talk to anyone who could - and would -have a chat with you, which to be understood, was really a lot of people, from drivers to mechanics to fans.
Everybody seemed to be enchanted by you, Max was sure they were, because he was enchantment too and he yearned for the warmth that they had felt. He yearned for it as much as he yearned to win every race.
Never before had he longed as in those moments to go back in time to when he didn't have to hope you would turn in his direction, that you would be in the same place as him, that you would be beside him.
That your attention was on him because you wanted it, not because he asked for it.
When he had heard your voice he really thought he was in the grip of some auditory hallucination, because you had said so yourself, that when you could you preferred not to attend.
“Although it may not seem like it, I don't really like staying in crowded places for too long, I get easily overwhelmed by all of that.”
He had tried not to jump whenever he heard a sound that sounded like your voice, but it was impossible not to when he heard your laughter.
Not when he was so sure he wasn't imagining everything. Not when you were so close-
You were talking to someone Max didn't know, but you both seemed engrossed in whatever you were discussing, at least until your interlocutor had been pulled into another conversation.
You physically relaxed, releasing the tension in your shoulders, as you shifted in search of a slightly quieter place before throwing yourself back into the fray.
You leaned against the parapet, running your gaze through the crowd, watching people from your little bubble.
Unlike in the past, you no longer seemed to sense his presence, because no matter how much Max stared at you, hoping that like in the old days somehow, he could still be the recipient of your attention, just like that, effortlessly, just because you wanted him to.
It didn't matter you hadn't met his gaze, he couldn't take his eyes off you, now that he had a chance to have you back in his life.
You didn't noticed he had approached you with two glasses of champagne, so absorbed in your thoughts.
It took you a millisecond too long to recognize him; it had been obvious when your eyes had widened and your shoulders had stiffened again.You looked like a deer in the headlights.
He had never gotten such a reaction from you. It did not felt good.
You accepted the glass with a slight smile, even though you had not the slightest intention of drinking its contents.
It was strange, he didn't know what to say to start talking to you. He rarely did not know what to do, how to act.
As a pilot he was used to deciding how to act, in the time of a blink of an eye, because in a job like his, hesitating for a second too long could be lethal.
These were decisions he had to make, and he couldn't overthink, because at that moment, in that car, on that circuit, in that corner or on that straight, he has to start and finish first. Even if it meant being unfair.
The media had exaggerated about him, but he still was Mad Max.
Yet at that moment he did not know what was the best thing to do, to say. He had too many things on his mind and none at the same time.
“It's been a while, hasn't it?”
You had always been good at putting others at ease, at making a situation less burdensome, your work showed that, and maybe it was something that was inherently part of you, but the way you had spoken to him was not what Max had hoped for.
It was still your voice, warm and gentle, tasting of home, but it was different from what he remembered, from what you used in videos or on the radio, from the voice he associated with you.
From his pleasant place.
There was an undertone that he didn't recognize ,that he couldn't associate with your person.
It felt a little cold, sharp. Like the air on the terrace, not cold enough to feel at the poles, but cool enough to bother you.
You still emanated that light, that warmth. He knew it, he had seen it only a few minutes before, but now it seemed feeble.
“Less than you think.”
At his words, blunt as ever, you had turned in his direction with a confused expression but before you could ask what he meant, he continued
“Why didn't you come to the Redbull pit?”
“Sorry what-”
“Why didn't you tell me you were coming to the races? I could've-”
“ I didn't have to tell you tho” you interrupted him by crossing his eyes as you leaned your arms on the railing ”We hadn't talked in ages, I couldn't just text you. It didn't feel right, you know?”
It didn't feel right to you to do a lot of things, you were like that as a kid and hadn't changed even as an adult, but he didn't think you would find yourself saying something like that to him.
It was true that you hadn't been in touch for a long time, and certainly mending relationships takes time, but he had never stopped to think about the fact that you might feel uncomfortable, as if you were disturbing him, in talking to him.
He was the person you preferred over everyone else
“Didn't think you knew I was there … Was it Vic who told you?”
He and Victoria talked, sure, but it wasn't like Vic was talking about you. Not to him, at least.
In fact, when they were both at their mother's house, and she happened to be on the phone with you, Victoria would switch rooms if he was around. She did the same when she was talking to someone about you and he was within earshot, if she didn't change the subject directly, let's be clear
“Heard you on the radio.”
His was a half-truth, if he had told you that he followed almost religiously every social communication from you he would have sounded more like a stalker than he already felt.
There was another silence, a little less tense than the previous one, which was short-lived anyway
“Heard the news” you had finally met his gaze ”for all that matters, I'm sorry.”
It hadn't taken him long to figure out what you were referring to; the fact that he and Kelly had broken up had been making the rounds on gossip sites even before they officially broke up, and once official they had been one of the most talked-about news stories in and out of the paddock.
It was a courtesy apology, but the fact that you were apologizing was somewhat ironic considering how much you were, albeit indirectly, involved in the situation.
The relationship with Kelly had been his corner of heaven since it began.
Kelly understood him on levels that no one seemed to reach, probably also complicit in her family history and her relationship with Daniil.
She did not marginalize him as most of the grid did.
She did not treat him like the kamikaze kid the media liked to write about.
She didn't look at him as if he might collapse into a thousand pieces like you did.
Being with Kelly made him feel good; he felt almost like when he was racing on the track, it was a great feeling.
When he was with Kelly he felt … understood.
Not to mention how he felt when he was with P: they had so much in common, Max could read them, those similarities, he could see so much of himself in the little bundle of tenderness that she was
He had a soft spot for P, and P seemed to have the same soft spot for him.
Or at least that was what the people around him said.
After a while, however, everything had become repetitive, boring, stagnant.
It wasn't bad, but not as pleasant as it was in the beginning either.
Something was missing.
The same something he sensed when he heard your voice, when he watched your expressions change.
It was something that made Max never tired of listening to you, that you never came across as boring, never dull.
Kelly knew this; she was neither stupid nor blind.
He didn't know how she knew, but it didn't matter so much.
Not when their last conversation had ended in screams and slamming doors.
“Mmmh” he didn't think there was any way to respond to what you said, so he merely nodded, ready to change the subject ”I can get you a pass, if you plan to watch the race.”
You laughed lightly, and Max felt that warmth again
“ If I plan to watch the race?” you had lifted your lips in that smile you used to make when you were joking ” I don't think you will ever find someone who's not here for the race. Well, they sure have other things to do, but you know what I mean.”
Yes, he knew. Formula 1 at the Montecarlo circuit was almost a sacred ritual, not only for people like you who lived there, but for the entertainment world in general.
Formula 1 was not called 'circus' by chance, the silly season was now intrinsic to its essence as Formula 1
“I appreciate the thought, but I already got my pass, but thank you,” you said as you began to walk away from the rail.
“Even for Quali?”
Max knew he had just made you a difficult offer to refuse, and it wasn't just your stopping to look at him, scrutinizing him, as if you were watching him for the first time, that made it obvious.
“You … have my attention.”
You were about to say something else, it was quite obvious, but Max was nevertheless pleased with your choice of words.
He was again the stated object of your attention, and he wasn't sure there was a feeling that felts as right as that
He had been talking to Raymond, while you pretended not to listen, deciding to focus on what was around you
Max didn't almost heard what Raymond was saying to him, so taken by the small, but sweet, smile on your face when you had heard the smile in Ray's voice greeting you
You had known Ray for as long as you had known the Verstappen family ,he had been his father's manager, it had seemed natural that he would take care of Max as well.
To be honest, Max didn't think you had who knows what relationship, he didn't even remember ever seeing you speak togheter, but from the small reaction of both of you, it seemed to him that he was missing something.
You gave him your email, your work email because you checked that one the most, so that Ray could contact you to get the details he needed.
When the call was over, you had thanked him, and asked him to apologize to Ray on your behalf for disturbing him at that ungodly hour. He had tried to reassure you; Raymond was used to keeping late hours.
That had earned him a look from you that was meant to be scolding, but had lost its value when you had chuckled, shaking your head
“You really are awful.”
And then Max had felt himself going back in time to when you were two kids with social difficulties, only unlike Max, you had stopped feeling comfortable only on the kart track.
Although you were sidelined, lots of people had come to say hello, to chat with you, to take pictures that you could post.
To enjoy your warmth, your light.
And you didn't seem the least bit uncomfortable, no longer hiding behind your kind smile and no longer giving the attention that was asked of you just so you wouldn't come across as rude, just because you were kind.
You were aware of your light, you had learned to handle it.
Perhaps, it was that awareness that made you so beautiful
you had always been but that night you were much more beautiful than he remembered.
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joi-me-hoi-me-noi · 11 months ago
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Featuring Sukuna and Itadori as brothers teehee
A/n: I got this wonderful idea from nessieart's artwork of sukuna and megumi... I love nessieart but I'm not tryna bother them by @ing them like a mad woman...anywho enjoy
MODERN-DAY SUKUNA CRUSHING ON READER
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You were looking for Yuuji around the building, he told you he wanted to talk to you.
You round a corner and there's 2 of them
Itadori just laughs and introduces his older brother to you
"Uh..nice to meet you. I'm L/n Y/n."
You hold out your hand for him to shake when he walks over to you. He just stares at you, no emotion on his face. Did he not like you or something? All of a sudden, his hand shoots out of his pocket and plops down on your shoulder.
He keeps eye contact with you and then smirks.
"Hey."
You looked in shock and Yuuji couldn't even look at the scene in front of him.
"Bro, you're cringing up the place."
Sukuna had to skedaddle even if he didn't want to but being pushed by Yuuji just reluctantly helped him to leave.
You wanted an explanation after that whole cringe fest.
"Yuuji, I need an explanation. I never knew you had a brother." You place your hands on your hips, staring daggers into your friend.
"Okay Y/n, imma explain now."
He explains that his brother wasn't here, he was in Kyoto for some studies and came back just now. He pulls a picture out of his wallet of them smiling with the words 'happy graduation' above them.
You take the picture from his fingers and look closely at it.
"H-He went to school?"
Yuuji nods, smiling wide.
"He graduated?"
Yuuji nods but looks to the side like 'of course'.
"Impossible."
"What do you mean impossible?"
The way you look at him tells him everything he needs to know.
"Nevermind but you should hang out with us while you can. He might leave again and he can probably answer your questions better than I can."
So with that, you began hanging out with both Yuuji and Sukuna
They had the cutest relationship to you, even though Ryomen would call his brother a brat sometimes which would cause a small quarrel.
During this time, you had a sleepover at their house.
When you awake in the morning, you overhear a conversation between the two siblings...
You press yourself against the wall near the kitchen and listen in on their conversation.
"Aniki [older brother], have you seen my-" Yuuji pauses and then makes a noise. "What are you doing?"
"Making lunch."
You peek around the corner, making sure you aren't seen by Yuuji or Ryo.
Yuuji quickly pads over to his brother's side and peeks over his shoulder.
"Careful. You almost burned down the kitchen last time you cooked."
He looks closely at the counter. "Why are there 3 boxes?"
You hear a small thump against the floor, signaling that Ryo pushed Yuuji back.
"I watched tutorials this time...one's for L/n."
Yuuji opens the bento boxes and lets out a snicker with his hand covering his mouth. The bentos are decorated so it looks like different animals.
"This is so corny but cute as hell. What are you, 5?"
"What's that supposed to be?" He points at one of the bentos.
"It's a F/a!" He slaps Yuuji's hand away from the bento.
Yuuji lets out another laugh and then a long 'aw' while approaching his brother.
"Who would've thought that my big scary brother has a crush~?"
"Fuck off brat!"
Ryomen has a big blush on his face, focusing on finishing up the bento boxes. You blush at the fact that he might have a crush on you. You decided that it's time to stop eavesdropping on their conversation.
You stand and make yourself let out a loud yawn to announce yourself to the both of them.
"I smelt food."
Yuuji is about to say something but Ryo elbows him to quiet him.
"This bento is for you L/n."
You take it from his hands with a smile.
"Thank you Ryo but remember, you don't have to call me L/n. Y/n is fine."
You open the bento box and smile at the animal he created for you.
"Is this a F/a?!" You smile while eating the food on the top of the bento.
He smiled and nods proudly...you sadly, really couldn't tell what it was, thank God for him telling Yuuji.
You and Yuuji were originally supposed to train with Gojo-sensei but now Ryomen is babysitting the both of y'all
Gojo is such a child...
"All you have to do is just help them train, physically."
"So, pretty much beat them up?"
He looks back at Yuuji with the most fiery expression, showing off his cursed technique.
"Yeah pretty much. Sorry kids, I got a date with destiny!" He kisses the side of his phone and leaves the field as quick as possible.
You and Yuuji's mouths become agape then you both turn toward Ryo. He laughs and removes his top layer to reveal...a tank top. You were really hoping he would be shirtless but whatever, it still works.
Yuuji takes his top layer off as well, revealing his red hoodie. You removed yours as well since everyone else was doing it.
"Well losers, let's fight."
And fight y'all did. FIGHT FOR Y'ALL LIVES THAT IS!! BRO IS GOING CRAZY!!! HE'S GONNA KILL Y'ALL IF HE AIN'T CAREFUL.
You both end the training session breathing heavily on the floor, fistbumping Yuuji. Ryo pulls you both up onto your feet. He pushes Yuuji's jacket into his hands while he gently hands you yours.
"Come on brats, I'm hungry and y'all need to change quickly. We're done for the day."
You tag Yuuji and run back inside of the school before he can catch you. You two change quickly and walk back outside to his brother.
"Let's go, I'm paying for the ramen."
You guys walk through the streets, just conversating with each other. Then Itadori spoke up.
"If Aniki and I were drowning, who would you save?"
You don't think long about your answer, you smile and blurt it out.
"Well because of my cursed technique, I could save you both."
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hb-writes · 23 days ago
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Let It Be
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Summary: Emma is stressed and needs to vent, but all of her siblings are busy. Christian finds the time anyway.
Characters: Christian Grey & Emmeline Grey (OC)
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Emma wasn't asleep, but she easily could've slipped into a nap while she lounged on a blanket in her parent's backyard. It was a perfect day—unseasonably warm and sunny for the middle of autumn—and she was grateful that her Chemistry professor had taken pity on them, canceling their afternoon lecture so no one had to stay in a dark auditorium on what would probably be the last nice day until spring.
She usually would have stuck around campus to hang out with her friends, but home had been calling her name, meaning the place where she grew up, and not her apartment in the city or Christian's penthouse. Her parents weren't home from work when she arrived, but Emma didn't mind the time alone—or more accurately, time to be alone in Ryan’s presence. She hadn’t seen him since they arrived, but assumed he was watching over her in some manner.
Emma tried not to think about it. She tried to tune out her security detail's constant presence. Tried to imagine he wasn't pacing the yard or constantly looking over to where she was laying in the sun with headphones shoved deep in her ears, a third Beatles album blasting in her ears as she held her eyes shut, cherishing the feel of the warm sun on her skin. With those things in place, she was just able to imagine she was alone.
Emma jumped when something nudged her bare foot and she opened her eyes to find Christian standing above her. He was dressed as if he had come straight from the office, though he had lost his tie and jacket at some point, his shirt sleeves carefully rolled to the elbow.
"Why are you here?" she asked, pulling an earbud free though the music still loud in one ear as she propped herself up on her elbows.
"I ended my day early."
Emma lifted her sunglasses to study her brother. "The Christian Grey I know doesn't end his days early."
"And yet here I am," Christian offered with a smirk that Emma was certain had reached his eyes even if she couldn't see through the dark tint of his sunglasses.
Emma thought of pushing further, of asking why he was here specifically, but she didn't bother, assuming that he was only here because she was here. Because Ryan had told him, or because Ryan had told Taylor, who then promptly informed Christian.
Emma couldn't properly remember the last time someone hadn't known precisely where she was located, which was part of the reason why she had been laying out in the backyard tuning out the world to Beatles album after Beatles album to begin with.
She lowered her sunglasses. "Well, what did I do wrong now?"
"Something, I'm sure," Christian answered as he glanced around the yard. "Your class was canceled?"
"Yup, Dr. Ellis is my new favorite person," Emma answered. "You should give your employees the rest of the day off. Might improve your approval rating."
"A company can't run if—"
"You're not working and the company seems to be running just fine without you," Emma interrupted before resting her head back on the blanket. "And anyway, I was really referring to your personal employees, ones like Ryan." Emma tilted her head in the general direction of where she assumed her security was standing—or more likely, pacing.
"I already did," Christian answered. "He's inside debriefing with Taylor right now.
"Figured there's no point in making them both work if we're spending time together."
Emma pushed herself up on her elbows again.
"I thought you were busy this weekend."
"I am," he said, "but I could make myself available for a few hours right now. Do you still need to talk?"
A bit of emotion swelled in Emma's chest. She had put the message in the group chat with her siblings, asking if anyone wanted to spend the weekend at their parents' home, or even just visit for a bit. 
Emma hadn't expected her sister to be free. She knew Mia was still in California. And Elliot was apparently working out of town, an unfortunate coincidence. Christian had declined, too. He had some charity thing to attend and work meetings, and yet, here he was.
"Come on." Christian held a hand down to his sister to pull her up to her feet. "Let's take a walk."
"How did you know I wanted to talk?" she asked as she stood and slipped into her sandals, her hands still grasped in Christian’s for balance.
"I'm your brother, Em," he answered. “I just know.” 
It was that simple, and Emma once again felt the warmth of emotion swell within her as they fell into step.
"So, you want to take out the earbuds and tell me what's—"
Christian stopped himself when Emma held out her free earbud.
"Can we listen to a song first?" she asked. Christian accepted the earbud and Emma fished her phone out of her pocket, the intro of "Let it Be" coming through as Emma hit the button to restart.
They were both quiet for the song's duration, walking side by side for the entire 4 minutes and 3 seconds, and Christian waited while Emma stopped to delicately wrap the cord of her earbuds before stashing it away in her pocket along with her phone.
"I think that's my favorite song," she said. "It calms me."
"Me too," Christian agreed. He had half a mind to once again prompt Emma, to ask her what she wanted to talk about, but she spoke up before he could.
"What's your favorite song?" she asked, as she started walking again.
The temptation to lean into efficiency,to steer his sister back to the matter at hand, was strong as ever, but Christian allowed himself to let it be. He knew Emma would come out with whatever was concerning her in due time, and it wasn't as if Christian had any place else to be for a few hours, so he pulled out his phone and began searching through his own playlists, needing only a moment before he pressed play on a new rendition of a classical piece that was his current favorite.
"I like it," Emma said. "It's calming."
"It is," Christian echoed.
"Text me the name," Emma said, and Christian nodded as he copied and pasted.
Emma pulled her phone from her pocket and scrolled through her brother's message, a whole list of songs there on her screen.
"They're all calming. You'll like them," he offered. "It'll help with the stress."
"How do you know I’m—?"
"I'm your brother, Em," he answered as he put his phone away. "I just know."
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annab-nana · 11 months ago
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peter: 86. “i meant it when i said i wanted to start a family with you.”
list f. Feeling the delicate coldness of the snowflakes on your skin
oh i can feel the angst with a happy ending coming on
warnings: not proofread, pregnant!reader
❀ masterlist ❀
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you and peter had been through a lot. when you met him freshman year at midtown, you knew he was the one. you fell in love with him before it all. before spider-man. before uncle ben, tony stark, and aunt may died. before you were forced to forget him.
even after strange's spell, you found your way back into peter's life and fell in love with him all over again. true love always finds a way, right?
peter had since then told you that you didn't meet him for the first time during your second semester of college, but actually when you were fourteen and shared your whole story up to the present. it was so weird to hear, but you believed every bit of it because you'd always felt this unexplainable connection to peter. he was just providing the explanation now.
and maybe it was because you two had all of that history that your relationship now moved so fast. you had only known peter—from what you could remember—for about six months and you were staring at a positive pregnancy test.
if you had any true recollection of your past with peter, you probably wouldn't be as scared as you were, but you had no idea how he would react. if you knew him like you should, if magic hadn't been involved, you probably would've taken the test with him near. until you could gauge his reaction, you decided to keep the news to yourself.
"you sure you don't want a drink?" peter asked you when he refilled his cup. finals were over so naturally, peter's roommate harry osborn invited you both to a party.
after being cooped up in your dorm studying for the last couple of weeks, you immediately said yes when peter asked if you wanted to go without thinking about the fact that you couldn't drink. you could still have fun with peter though, if it weren't for the looming guilt of not telling him about your situation that followed you like a plague.
"yeah, i'm good," you told him, trying your best to not raise suspicion, "i'm not thirsty."
peter's eyes were on you as he took a sip of his drink. something isn't right, he thought. "are you okay?"
"yeah, i'm good." your fingers fiddled with the sleeve of your sweater to distract yourself.
"it's just," peter sighed when he couldn't figure it out, "you seem different. like you're acting different and you almost never turn down a drink unless you're sick or something."
you cast your eyes down to where you messed with your sleeve in an attempt to hide the tears that rushed to your eyes—damn hormones. you blinked rapidly to will them away before muttering, "i need to tell you something," and grabbing peter's hand to lead him away from other people.
the only place you could find with any privacy was a bathroom by the front door.
"you might want to sit down for this," you forewarned him which only caused his worry to skyrocket.
after following your instruction, he let out a light chuckle in an attempt to make things a bit more light-hearted than they seemed. "y/n, you're starting to freak me out. what is it?"
"okay, i don't know how else to say this other than to blurt it out, so here it is. brace yourself." you took a steadying breath. "i'm pregnant."
peter froze like a deer in headlights, the exact opposite of what you needed from him.
"peter, please say something."
"i-" was all he uttered before deflating and shaking his head.
normally, you would be more understanding of his obvious shock. normally, you would give him all the time he needed to think about this. normally, you would wait for him. but you couldn't right now. your mind was telling you to leave before he did.
so, that was exactly what you did.
you walked straight out of the bathroom and then out the front door right into the cold snow. you would've been more bothered by the temperature if your skin wasn't hot with embarrassment and your heart heavy with despair. each little snowflake that hit your face melted quickly into your flesh and dripped down to join your tears.
maybe a minute after you'd left the party, you were whirled around and met the eye of the boy who could now speak. "i'm sorry. i- my mind blanked, i'm sorry, but y/n, i need you to know that i love you and am here for you every step of the way on whichever path you choose. whatever you decide, i will be there, holding your hand."
"even if i keep it?"
peter could tell by the look in your eye that that was the way you were leaning. he nodded with a smile on his face. "especially if you want to keep it. i meant it when i said i wanted to start a family with you."
your brow furrowed, alerting peter of his mistake.
"we've had a few conversations about the future before the spell. i wanted a family with you then and i want one with you now."
"yeah?" you couldn't help the tears that fell freely from your eyes now.
"of course." the brunet brought his lips to your forehead. "i love you. always will. now, let's get you inside before you freeze to death."
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darlenicy · 15 days ago
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@trixweek day 3 || Backstory For The Trix || fanfiction (kinda)
Okay, so this is a headcanon I have which is canon in my rewrite “It could have been us” and the rewrite of that “Sisters by blood”.
The Trix are three sisters: Icy is the oldest, Darcy is the middle child, and Stormy is the youngest sibling. Their family name is Whisperia (no props to 4kids for anything but this name is cool, and I wanted it to have a connection to the Trix). The Magic Dimension is split into white-magic and dark-magic (sometimes also referred as black-magic) people.  The Whisperias are an old noble family from Eraklyon who is known to be dark-magic. A century ago, when Domino fell under the influence of the Ancestral Witches, the Whisperias were their most faithful allies. Domino fell, but so did the Ancestral Witches and even though the planet and the royal family of Domino were lost it was seen as a triumph of light over darkness. It was later propagated especially from the Company of Light who spread their victory over the Ancestral Witches and their underlings in the whole Magic Dimension. Therefore, the Whisperias have been in disgrace for a long time now. They, however, weren’t robbed of their titles. Since the family fell into disgrace their economic situation became worse and worse. They were nobles, yes, but over the centuries they impoverished, and the family itself became smaller and smaller. Those who were able to, chose another name to live by.
The daughter of the last Lord of Whisperia, Malicia, is said to have murdered her whole remaining family to gain a certain power (which was never proven, it is also possible that the family members died of a disease which spread over Eraklyon by that time). This power however, should guarantee the new awakening of the Ancestral Witches and bring back the family’s fortune. People already avoided the family at any cost but now even more. Malicia never married but gave birth to three daughters in as many years. It is unknown who the father or the fathers of the girls are. Malicia’s state of health was diminished by the births (and probably by the spell connecting to them), and so she withdrew from the public and didn’t leave the family’s mansion anymore. It was rumored that the three daughters, later the Trix, where somehow the reincarnation of the Ancestral Witches. As the rumors took over, King Erendor forbid the people to talk about this to avoid panic. He declared the rumors as nonsense, saying it was just a way Malicia was trying to make her family important again. (The fact that Malicia never spread the rumors herself didn’t matter to the King).
So, the Trix grew up as outsiders. Nobles, but poor nobles. The Whisperia family had only two remaining servants: an elderly butler and some kind of Nanny to the Trix who was also the cook and cleaner of the house. The three sisters grew up being avoided by everyone, knowing that their once glorious family fell from grace and had no importance anymore. Icy always hated it, thinking their family deserved better. Darcy suffered in silence and Stormy tried her best to make their reputation even worse. Their mother was often sick, spent most of her time in her absolute dark room in bed and told the Trix nothing about their possible fate and legacy and also never spoke of their father(s). 
Icy, real name Isobel, concentrated on becoming powerful and very trained in magic. Her goal is to bring back her family’s greatness at all costs. She always had the best grades and studied hard even though she already is very smart. The loneliness in school still bothered her but she couldn’t talk about this with her sisters. She was the oldest, the one to protect the others, since her mother couldn't because of her health. The only one she entrusted her sorrows was Blance, a horse her family owned. The Whisperias used to breed horses a long time ago, but when the family became poorer, most horses were sold. Blance, a white mare, was one of the few who remained. The day, the faithful horse died (no nice story and Erendor is responsible for it), Darcy thought, that her sister’s heart froze to death. Icy has a huge hatred for King Erendor. Oddly enough she becomes friends with Prince Sky in her early teens and later maybe even more. When Icy met Lilith at Cloud Tower, a witch from Solaria whose family’s roots reach back to Domino, a lot changed. Lilith told Icy about the Dragon Flame, the most powerful power (lol) in the Magic Dimension. Icy sees it as a chance to bring back her family’s honor (Zuko vibes but more extreme). She wants the people to suffer hard for looking down on her family and if the powers of the Ancestral Witches can help her with that, the better. She finally confronts Malicia who admits that the Ancestral Witches are indeed the Trix’ ancestors. But she still refuses to tell icy anything about her birth and how exactly she and her sisters are connected to the Ancestral Witches.
Darcy, real name Darcelle, as said before, suffered from being alone and shunned by everyone. Over time, left alone with her thoughts, she began to wish all the people who avoided her only the worst. Her thoughts became pitch black, and she developed the power of reading minds early as a kid. As she grew up, she perfected her powers so much so that she could not only read minds but also manipulate them. She found out about her powers, when a girl bullied her in school. One day that girl was mean to her once again and Darcy’s anger turned into power and controlled the girl who almost impaled herself with a pair of scissors in art classes. It was a bloodbath, and the girl only barely survived. Darcy was scared for life of her own powers but also impressed. The situation made her fear the dark and being afraid that someone could take over her body (after all the stories she heard about her family and especially herself and her sisters). Her mother told her to turn her fear into a weapon. From that time on she lingered in the old library of their mansion, reading the darkest books and developing her powers. She’s probably the one of the trio with the most knowledge of the black arts.
The thing Stormy (real name Beatrix, and she hates it) felt most, was anger. Anger about her family being shunned. Anger that she and her sisters never found friends. Anger, that their mother never told them anything. So, she gave no fucks about anything. She misbehaved at school, tortured the kids that bullied her or Darcy (no one dared to bully Icy. One glance of her was enough, so the people just shun her). It became so problematic, that she got expelled at many primary schools. She never attended the private school for girls, which every noble girl on Eraklyon attended at 12, but instead attended a normal school with a very bad reputation. No other school wanted her. She became the kind of girl your parents warn you about. Very low morals and only doing the things she likes. It was hard for Icy and Darcy to look over her, since they were at different schools. Her big sisters always tried to influence the girl in a more positive way, but it looks like they failed. Especially when Icy and later Darcy went to Cloud Tower in Magix, they completely lost their influence on her youngest sibling. Stormy enjoyed that freedom and tried many things out: from boys, over alcohol to drugs. She’s seen and done it all.
By the way, the name “Trix” was given to their coven by Icy, after Lilith died. To Icy the only important thing in the world was now her two sisters, the three of them – Trix.
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maximumkingdomstarlight · 1 year ago
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Arrogant hearts (Gojo Satoru x F!reader)
Chapter 2
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walking on the usual road, which led to the Jujutsu high... with Gojo Satoru who was your senior was more silent than you thought it would be, unless for the occasional questions from him...
"so, How was the USA?" he asked.
"it was alright" you replied, looking around, trying to recollect the memories back from your old school
"That's a vague answer, but it's okay... what did you do there?" he questioned, almost as if he wanted to keep the conversation going. "surely, there were no sorcery schools there" he added with a smirk.
"I... studied in a university" You were totally not interested in giving him every information about your life in the USA.
"What did you study?" he asked, making you wonder when you'll get close to your destination to get away from all his questioning.
"Art" giving one-word answers was your specialty, which was the sole reason you were always alone. with no friends or any lover.
he nodded in response, which made you relieved for a second thinking his annoying questions were over, but the other second he asked you again "Why are you so silent? Don't you like me?" he asked with a blank expression.
what kind of a question was that? Of course, you didn't like anyone, who invaded your personal space. which you loved so much, you were only comfortable talking with your mother and your sibling, and your best friend who was still in the USA.
you smiled, the sweet fake smile you put on every time you see and talk with people "I am not very sociable, you probably do know that, and I can't keep up with conversations" the same excuse, the same lame excuse you give to everyone who asks you unnecessary questions about your unsociable ass. 
He could sense, that your smile was fake... why though? was it the same for everyone? or was it specifically to him, because he was annoying? he knew that he was annoying, and enjoyed it when people got uncomfortable because of him.
he frowned and got closer to your face, too close "I'll have to fix that then since you are a precious junior"
"was" you corrected, taking a step back again "and I don't think it would be easy, my best friend tried it and became quite like me"
he laughed loudly "Your best friend did? Is your best friend in the USA?" he asked with a smile.
"yeah," you replied.
"Don't worry, I won't change... I'll change you... at least, I'll change the way you are for me" he smirked. "I'll make sure you get comfortable around me, you need a best friend in Japan too y'know?"
"I have one though" you replied, making his smirk a frown. 
"Who is that lucky person?" he asked.
"Nanami" you replied, he was the only person in your age group, and you two were friends since you were high school students. 
"Oh, he doesn't match you" he replied casually "You know? opposites are the best together"
you couldn't deny it, it was the same with your best friend in the USA, so you just stayed silent.
Gojo started walking again, you tagging along next to him, the leaves crunching every time you two took a step, he was silent again... he was wondering why you weren't asking him about the things that happened in the school when you were gone, what happened to Geto Suguru, maybe Nanami had told you everything, maybe you weren't asking because you thought it might make him uncomfortable.
Which was true, you didn't want to make him uncomfortable, and most of all, you felt guilty for not being there for your school when it needed you...
"here we are," he said while gesturing for you to go into the Tatami room.
"thank you" you replied again with that small smile... 
'why isn't your smile coming from your heart?' he thought to himself, not like he smiled from his heart all the time, but he did sometimes smiled, laughed... not like you. which made him irritated. at least you should not smile or you should smile genuinely' That's what he thought because it won't bother him so much if it was your way, not smiling. but you smiled, but it didn't touch your own heart.
you waited until he decides to leave, which he didn't "Why aren't you going in?" he asked "Do you want me to open the Shōji for you?" he smirked.
"I was waiting until you leave" you replied.
"oh no, I am coming with you, I told you that I was on my way to meet Yaga too, right?" his smirk never left his face. which was more annoying than you could ever imagine.
you slide the door open to see Yaga Masamichi, who was once your teacher but is now a principal making cute dolls. he looked at the two visitors "Oh, Y/N, Nanami informed me about your arrival" he said while indicating you to come in. "and you are late again Satoru" he added to the tall man beside you, who was crossing his arms. 
"what's the big deal? you were making your dolls anyways" Gojo said with a frown "and I had to bring your former student to you" he said while pointing at you.
Yaga sighed in irritation and looked back at you. "Y/N, what are you going to do? are you going to continue where you left off or are you going to live as a non-sorcerer like you did in the USA?"
this was the question you were stuck on, you gave it a lot of thought even when you were in the USA.
"huh? isn't that obvious? you should continue where you left off" Gojo interrupted your train of thoughts by jumping in. "there aren't many sorcerers, so we could need your help you know? and your cursed technique, don't waste it... use it for some work"
"Satoru, let her think," Yaga said. "do you need time to think?"
"no, I think what Gojo said is true, it's better for me to continue, or else... why would I even come to Japan, to live as a non-sorcerer?" you agreed to Gojo, well his words did have a little impact on that decision.
"That's what I am saying" Gojo smirked.
"Well, then you can assist Gojo with his teaching" Yaga announced making both of you surprised 
"I don't need any assistance" Gojo argued, his frown was clearly visible.
"I can work on missions" you added. 
"you are just going to work on missions? I want you to work with Satoru, so you can recollect the basics again, I don't think you practiced when you were in the USA"
which was true, you never had a reason to practice when you were living as a non-sorcerer. you glanced at Gojo, who was looking at you for your answer.
  "if Gojo is okay with it, I guess I can assist him"
"you are going to call me teacher?" he asked with a smirk
"No" you replied, trying not to glare at him. he laughed at you trying to be respectful.
after talking with Yaga for a little while, you two walked out of Yaga's Tatami room to the cold afternoon
"Well then, my lovely assistant, I'll introduce you to my precious students," Gojo said in a cheerful tone. he seemed too cheerful about this little arrangement.
he took you to the male dormitories and knocked on a room "Megumi~ I bought a friend~" he said in a sing-song tone. a groan was heard from the room before a boy with bluish-black hair opened the door. 
he glared at his teacher and looked at you "Who's this?" he asked. 
"your new assistant teacher" Gojo smiled.
you bowed a little "I am L/N Y/N, nice to meet you"
"Fushiguro Megumi" he replied and shot a suspicious look at Gojo "Are you sure you got permission before getting an assistant? especially a female assistant?"
"What are you saying Megumi?" he said in a fake innocent tone "Yaga was the one who assigned her" Gojo smiled proudly. which made Megumi raise an eyebrow in disbelief.
 hearing all the commotion, the boy who was next door came out with a manga in his hand. "oh, hi! who's this?" he asked with a smile
"Nice to meet you, I am L/N Y/N" you slightly bowed.
"hi! I am Itadori Yuji" He smiled cheerfully.
"This is your new assistant teacher," Gojo said making the boy's eyes widen.
"Really? I hope we have a good time then"
Itadori Yuji and Fushiguro Megumi seemed to have very different personalities. 
"Let's go to meet the last student," Gojo said while stuffing his hands in his pockets "You two coming?" 
"sure" they nodded. and the three of you were walking toward the female dorms 
"I've never seen you here before, are you a new sorcerer?" Megumi asked.
"I had to leave the school and lived in the USA for a long time" you replied 
he nodded, yuji got very interested in the USA, so asked questions from time to time, and Gojo silently listened. 
"We are here," Gojo said while knocking on a door.
"What?" a girl, with short brown hair, appeared with an annoyed look. "a new student?" she asked looking at you. 
"Nice to meet you, I am L/N Y/N, I am your new assistant teacher," you said with a slight bow.
"Kugisaki Nobara, an assistant teacher, huh?"
"you did that three times now, don't you get bored?" Gojo asked you with a smile
"Is there any other way I can do introduce myself?" you asked.
"Learn from your senpai"  Gojo smirked. making the two males and the female's jaws drop 
"you are his junior?" they asked in unison.
"yes, I was Gojo's junior," you said, confused why they looked surprised.
Gojo seemed happy with the atmosphere "Shall we go get some dinner? to celebrate your new assistant teacher" he smiled. Nobara and Yuji seemed very happy that they were already walking towards the exit of the dorms.
A restaurant in the middle of Tokyo, it was lit up very beautifully... you sat down next to Gojo and the three students were sitting across from you two. 
"This place hasn't changed," you said while remembering the countless times you came here to eat with your classmates.
"True" Gojo replied looking at you with a smile. Nobara nudged the two boys to look at the couple sitting across them, it seemed they were comfortable and content even though you two weren't a couple...
after a lot of disagreements, the three teenagers decided what to eat. after a while all of you were eating Nigirizushi, Gojo was the one who recommended it by saying he'll pay.
after eating you all decided to head back to the college. "what about your sleeping arrangements?" Gojo asked after the three teenagers went to their rooms.
"I'll stay in a dorm room until I find a place to stay," you said remembering Yaga saying you could use a room. but you really wanted to stay in your own place, you've gotten used to that when you were living in the USA. 
"that place is still vacant," Gojo said "The house next to mine in my apartment," he said with a smile
"Why are you so fixated on the idea of me living next to you?" you voiced your question.
"just... want to catch up," he said with a shrug, hands in his pockets as he walked to the middle of the small bridge, the water was flowing underneath you two...
you leaned on the wooden railing of the bridge, you two were still on the college property. you sighed softly. "not like we have good things to catch up," you said, the senior and you never talked much during the short time you attended the college, and everything that had happened after you left the college, Yu Haibara, your classmate dying, Geto Suguru being a curse user, killed by his own best friend's hands. they were not happy memories... but you wanted to ask something from him...
"did it hurt?" you asked while looking at the dark blue water shining from the moonlight.
"no comment," he said leaning against the railing just like you.
"what did I expect?" you muttered
"What did you expect?" he asked with a smile
"I don't know, maybe..." you shrugged "I miss him, it hurts or something" You felt bad after saying that... 
"Do you miss him?" he asked. "he did act as a true senior, not like me" he shrugged, you couldn't feel, see or hear his emotions.
"I respected him" you replied with another sigh. you really wanted to change the subject "You are single?" you asked as the only thing that came to your mind.
he chuckled looking at you "You want to change it?" he asked with a smirk.
you smiled softly "Even if i change it, it changes quickly, doesn't it?"
"At least you smiled genuinely this time" he said with a smile, he took off his blindfold "Why do you hide it?" he asked, getting close to your face, your heartbeat was quickening. something that never happened before when he got close to you, your gulped, eyes frantically searching for an escape. he held your chin softly forcing you to look at his deep blue eyes.
"You should smile more genuinely, at least in front of me"
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quotidian-oblivion · 1 year ago
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OOOOOOKAY! ANOTHER 76 LINES, BUT THIS ONE IS FOR:
Bruce Wayne Writes Fanfiction AU
Here's the link to Tim gets de-aged to a toddler.
Catwoman straightens up from her squatting position on the roof. Her cat-o-nine tails swaying by her hip and the moonlight bouncing off her suit. 
"Why?" she asks one more time. "Why should I?" 
Batman doesn't move, too overcome by his mission's desire. "I already told you," he says gently. 
Catwoman looks away, casting those beautiful dark eyes onto the grime-spread road. The streets may not be a pretty sight, but they are Gotham's own, and that is enough. 
"You told me why," Catwoman says. "But I… it doesn't—"
"It takes time. Catwoman," Batman says. "You never claimed to be doing good work, but I see you. I see you give out food to the poor citizens of the streets. Hand out clothes in winter to Gotham's children. Save strays from whichever situation." And he has. More than once. "I've told you your why, but I will say it again. And again. And again." 
Catwoman's shoulders tense, but she still doesn't turn to face him. 
"Why? Because I 
Bruce slammed the backspace button on his keyboard and didn't stop until the whole page was blank. When there was nothing except dust particles and a hair on the white screen, he pushed the screen of his laptop down none too gently. 
He lifted the screen a little to see if there was any damage because hell if his secret fanfiction laptop was cracked. All his work would be lost. Thankfully, it was okay. 
Bruce sighed and leaned back on his study chair. He was meant to be reviewing the shareholder profits and sending the brokerage and whatnot to Lucius, but he suddenly had an idea for his main series and… well, he got a little too carried away. 
Batman wasn't supposed to reveal his love for Catwoman until two fics later, he used the words 'says' and 'why' too many times, there was too much unnecessary description, and Batman once again had too much dialogue. 
Of all the things Bruce had struggled with writing fanfiction, having Batman stay in character was the hardest part. Maybe it was because it was easier to be Batman than write him, or it was because the Batman in his fics had a better handle on emotions than he did. Fanfiction was therapy after all. But with all the unnecessary description, he felt like one of those lusting male writers who got everything wrong. 
Why couldn't his plot just cooperate with him? 
Bruce shook his head to clear his thoughts. He should just get back to work (canon work, as he liked to call it) and be done with it. Maybe then his characters—especially fucking Batman—would work with him. 
-------------------------------------
A beeping alarm sounded through the study and Bruce looked up from his Pinterest page (which he was there for inspiration, he definitely wasn't distracted). He checked his watch and found the Bat-signal glowing. Gordon had called. 
He tapped the black-against-yellow bat and Catwoman's icon showed up. 
Bruce grinned. Perfect. Now he could refresh his mind and write the characters to be more in-character. 
He quickly closed all the tabs, brought the security on the secret laptop back up, closed it, and put it in its hiding place under the desk with a removable wooden bottom lid. Then he steadied himself and ran out of the room. 
Alfred was already at the grandfather clock. He spun the hands and the clock moved aside for Bruce to enter and zoom down the steps. 
"Red Robin, what's the status?" he asked Tim who was in front of the Batcomputer. 
"Uh, Catwoman just tripped the alarm to the new Gotham Ancient Civilizations Museum. Probably on purpose to gain your attention.”
Bruce grunted. “I’ll go alone. It’s only Catwoman. It won’t take long.”
“Why? You planning on hooking up with her again?” Tim grinned.
Bruce didn’t bother with a reply. He had heard it too many times before.
He got ready, all while thinking about the things he needed to fix in his fic. This was his fifth series and he was four fics away from finishing it. He liked writing the whole fic out before posting it, because who knew what would happen to him if something got to him in his canon job? The fic would be abandoned forever, and no one would know the ending.
No, that couldn’t happen. Which was why he wrote every fic’s ending in a way that could be the finale, but still slightly open if he managed to get back to it later.
Gearing the Batmobile up, he zoomed out of the Cave. The nerves and the high associated with going out into the night increased, making a corner of his lip lift a little. He loved his canon job. In more ways than one.
Writer Poll Game
Saw this tag game on @taralaurel 's blog. Here's the link to her poll post. Hope you don't mind me joining in!
Rules: make a 24 hour poll with the names of your wips and then for whichever wins, write one sentence in each wip for every vote it gets. (Idk if you post the stuff you've written on tumblr or not, so imma just presume it's a choice and see what happens first)
Most of my wips don't have titles yet sorry. I have a bunch of wips so I'm fitting as many as possible :)
HO HO HO, LET'S SEE HOW THIS FARES, YEAH?
No pressure tags: @sardonic-sprite @tristicorde @wakkoroni @cygnusdoesthings @pevensiechase @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego @ah0yh0y @uncertainwallflower
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wito-chan-bla-bla · 2 years ago
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heyy can you that Y/n talks everyday with Opera and Kalego is jealous...
I don't know if you wanted a story with such a plot, but... What happened, it happened!
~
Was this situation commonplace? Definitely not. Did she humiliate the dignity of the demon who got into her? Definitely yes. But there was nothing to be done about it.
The corner of the school building was a surprisingly convenient place to keep an eye on the demons passing through the gate. The trees cast shadows, the students were making noise as they walked forward, the student council members were shouting, greeting the newcomers, so no one paid attention to the gloomy demon standing not far from the gate.
But everyone paid attention to two adults communicating a little further away from the main crowd of students.
It was no secret that Kalego was afraid of Opera. Naberius tried desperately not to meet them either during work or during his leisure time. Fortunately, he rarely left the school or dormitory grounds, so he rarely saw a demon like a cat.
But lately it has become restless in Hell, so Opera brought Iruma and his friends to school every day, saying goodbye to them and returning home to continue working. Of course, sooner or later Naberius should have been noticed. The only question is which particular member of the Naberius clan Opera noticed.
Yes, yes, Kalego watched as a demon, to whom he is ready to show the bases of his wings at any moment, communicates with a demon that Naberius would like to never see again in his life.
And it would be fine if it lasted a few days, well, or a week at most. But no! Almost every day Opera stopped at the gate and waited for (Y/N) to come to talk to their kohai. And such conversations irritated Kalego.
Was he jealous? Pf-f! What kind of stupidity? Of course not. You promised to be with him even if the demon king was against this marriage. Besides, Kalego is not just a demon from the street! He is an aristocrat, he is strong, smart and handsome. Why would you go to Opera?!
Naberius wasn't jealous. He just... wanted to protect you. Yes, you studied in the same class as Kalego, and therefore you know the demon with cat ears as well as their serious kohai, but…
Okay, why lie?! Kalego was jealous! But this is normal for demons, each of whom is the owner! So no one can blame him!
But still... Naberius could not accept the fact that every evening he, hugging you, feels the smell of his senpai. He couldn't put up with the fact that you talk to Opera every day from morning to late afternoon instead of sitting in a room with Kalego and checking homework in pleasant silence. He couldn't accept that you were laughing so loudly at the jokes of the demon with red hair!
(Of course, Naberius wasn't very good at joking, but his heart skipped a beat every time you told a joke and laughed yourself. Kalego just looked at your face and started smiling, feeling a pleasant feeling of calm and warmth).
And now you're telling your jokes to Opera! (Probably Naberius shouldn't have rolled his eyes every time you were joking and told you to get busy). And you let them hear your wonderful laughter! And hug you! Shouldn't you belong only to Kalego?!
The demon hurried away before his senpai caught up with him. And along the way, he will need to figure out how to show that you belong to him and only to him…
The demon's eyes widened as soon as he noticed his senpai's gaze. Opera was looking right at him. The demon suddenly opened their arms, and you fell into it. The director's servant firmly but gently squeezed your body in their arms, and then looked at Naberius again, Opera stuck out tongue at him.
Kalego could feel his eye twitching.
*+*
You looked up from your work and looked at the irritated Kalego. He's been walking like this for the last few days, and you've been trying not to bother your spouse too much. Naberius is not one of those who prefers to talk about their problems with others. Usually the demon takes a short break to think about what is happening in his life, and then rolls up his sleeves and solves any difficulties that life has thrown at him in a couple of hours.
You were sure it was the same this time. Of course, you were still smiling at him in the corridors, making sure that he did not forget to eat, distracting his class so that Kalego could spend some time in peace and quiet. Just until you tried to circle around your husband like a bee around a flower, chatting with him about very insignificant things.
–I made the documents you asked for. Here you are.
You handed him the papers, but the demon didn't take them. Weird… This time, after all, I managed three days before the deadline…
You awkwardly pursed your lips and stretched out your hand more strongly to still give the documents to your husband. But he didn't take them. On the contrary, he looked at the sheets filled with letters with even greater dissatisfaction.
–What is it?.. – did I make a mistake somewhere? Did Kalego-chan really learn to feel errors in documents before he looks at them?!.
–You're not wearing a ring.
–Ah?..
–There's no wedding ring on your finger.
You looked down at your left hand and shrugged. Students from your husband's class talked to you quite often, so they would immediately notice a beautiful, but simple decoration adorning your ring finger. You didn't want them circling around you like mosquitoes trying to bite your thigh and asking you to tell them who your spouse is. Kalego also didn't want to be asked questions, so even among the teachers, few knew that you had been Naberius for a long time, since your colleagues addressed you by name.
So you and Kalego didn't wear rings. (At least on the arm). And you were surprised that your husband talked to you about it not just now, but right at school!
–It will distract students from my notes on the blackboard, – you said with a laugh, putting the documents on the table. The demon pursed his lips.
–Why don't you start wearing it?
–Ah?.. – who are you and what did you do with Kalego-chan?!
–We are married after all. I want you to remember that you belong to my clan now.
It sounds more creepy than romantic. You shrugged your shoulders, pursing your lips. Kalego, meanwhile, crossed his arms over his chest.
–But you yourself wanted no one to know about our marriage. Or am I wrong?
–Right. But a lot of time has passed, no one will be surprised and try to "congratulate the newlyweds". So you can start wearing a ring.
–What about you?
Kalego sighed heavily, and you involuntarily twitched. He doesn't trust me? Is he afraid that I will start flirting with someone? But why? I love Kalego-chan as much as he loves me, I say it and show it almost every day! But then why does he doubt my feelings?
–My class is still too immature to adequately perceive this news, – Naberius flashed his eyes and took the documents. – I want you to wear a ring from tomorrow.
–Okay ... – you whispered softly, looking at the wall.
Maybe Kalego-chan wants to remind himself that we are married? Yet lately, due to work, we spend little time together… It's decided! I'll invite him to the opera. This rich boy loves events for the smart and educated.
You smiled as you went back to work.
*+*
–Opera-senpai, I didn't expect to see you here!
Kalego turned pale and quickly ran away, muttering something about the toilet. You exhaled with relief, glad that your husband understood your hint. Opera has excellent hearing and sense of smell, so they would definitely be able to detect Naberius sooner or later. And so you distracted your senpai on yourself and allowed your husband to escape.
The demon with the cat ears twitched those ears themselves and turned to you. Opera smiled and took a few steps forward to embrace you.
–And hello to you, (Y/N)-chan, – your husband, hiding behind some column, jerked. – Are you here with Kalego-kun? – the demon began to look around, funny twitching ears on head.
–No, unfortunately. Kalego-kun couldn't come today, and I didn't want the tickets to be uselessly lying on the shelf of the closet. That's why I'm here. And why did you decide to come to the opera today?
–Iruma-sama is going on a date with Ameri-san. Of course, Iruma-sama claims that he is just keeping his friend company, but I strongly doubt it.
You giggled and invited the demon to take a walk, asking about places along the way. It's so good that Opera-senpai is sitting far away from us. When there were only a few minutes left before the opera began, you went to look for your husband, finding him not in the best mood.
You were sure that Kalego would be happier as soon as the music started playing. But he didn't. He sat the whole performance straight, with the most displeased face he could make. You were actively sweating, trying to roll down the seat. Usually your husband would tell you some interesting facts about music and songs, and you were not so bored. But today he was quiet, so you had to not only die of boredom, but also feel a huge pressure from Naberius.
A little later Kalego joined you. He angrily collapsed on the bed and didn't even hug you.
You didn't go home with your husband either. Opera insisted that you need to be escorted, since Kalego "could not come”. You tried to run away from them, but the demon said that they would come for Iruma, so they can go with you.
When you arrived home, Naberius was now also angry. You decided to just cook dinner and go to bed.
Is he offended by me?!
(Y/N)-chan smells so strongly of Opera-senpai that I'm already having nightmares, even though I haven't fallen asleep yet.
You drew your legs up to you and wrapped yourself more tightly in the blanket, closing your eyes. Fortunately, when you woke up, the arms of your beloved demon habitually hugged your waist. That's good. Otherwise, you would definitely have gone crazy.
*+*
–And where are you going to go?
You stopped, having stopped sorting through clothes. Smiling shyly, you shuffled in place, looking at the wall. What if he's angry that I'm spending time away from home again? We've been talking so little lately…
–I'm going for a walk.
–With whom? – Kalego asked cautiously. Not with Opera-senpai, not with Opera-senpai!..
–With a close friend of mine, – you answered vaguely. Fortunately, it worked. Great, it's not Opera-senpai. (Y/N)-chan has always called them only "senpai".
–Shall I escort you? – Naberius asked, already much less tense.
–No, it's all right! But you can close the door behind me.
You hurriedly changed your clothes and went out into the corridor. In front of the front door, Kalego hugged you, hiding his nose between your head and your shoulder. Today, (Y/N)-chan doesn't smell like Opera-senpai. How good…
You waved your hand at him and left, hastily opening your wings and flying away. Kalego watched you go for a few seconds, and then he closed the door and went to check homework…
In the evening.
You turned pale when Kalego pinned you to the door. On the one hand, you were scared. On the other hand... your husband's hair was sticking out in all directions, making him a little wild, his cheeks were flushed, he was breathing heavily, pressing hard against you. You couldn't help but blush in response to these changes in your husband.
You swallowed, pressing against the door. He's definitely mad at me. You were shaking, watching your husband, who was staring at you with his eyes almost red with anger. (Y/N)-chan was with Opera-senpai! And now again our whole bedroom will smell of them! Again! Again! I can't stand it!
And then you heard his tail whizzing out from behind. And it wasn't a good sign...
–Is some kind of demon more important to you from the outside than your own husband?!
Eh? He thinks I don't communicate with him much because I'm cheating on him?!
–Why do you spend every day with them?! You want to kill me?!
Eh?!. Who are "they"? I don't even remember communicating with someone whom Kalego-chan could consider his "opponent"!
–Is Opera–senpai a better conversationalist than me? Don't you really believe that I, your husband, can always listen to you and help you?!
Eh?! Does he think I'm cheating with him with Opera-senpai?! But it's not like that!
You quickly shook your head and slapped your hands on Kalego's hot cheeks. The demon was breathing heavily, looking at you with a slight pity.
You laughed awkwardly and hugged Naberius, hugging him to you, forcing his face into your neck.
–Are you... are you really jealous of me for Opera-senpai?
Kalego froze, refusing to admit that he was jealous. He tried to justify his annoyance by saying that you are talking to Opera. But in fact, he was unhappy that you talk so much to someone else.
Naberius wants attention too. He just doesn't know how to ask for it.
–Kalego-chan, – you called him affectionately, since there was no stranger nearby, – don't worry, I don't like Opera-senpai! I only love you! I know I haven't spent much time with you lately, but I promise that I…
You didn't have time to finish. Kalego irritably sniffed your skin, which Opera had touched before, and then interrupted your monologue with one movement. And it was a bite.
You squealed in surprise, feeling your husband's teeth gently dig into the skin of your neck. A few soft kisses have been left here and there to ease your pain. And then he wrapped his wings around you, hugging you tightly to his chest, practically pinching your ribs in his grip.
– I don't like that you spend so much time with Opera-senpai. I don't like that you've been hugging them more than me over the last month. I can't stand the smell of them on you every time you come home, – Kalego moved away to look into your eyes. – I know they do it on purpose to annoy me. But I can't help myself. I swore to protect you, (Y/N)-chan, – you involuntarily smile, hearing the suffix that your husband used even in a private setting quite rarely. – And I will protect you from Opera-senpai, even if you don't consider them dangerous.
You laugh softly and hug him back. Probably, if it were anyone else, Kalego would have sorted out the problem long ago. But with your senpai, he couldn't do that. That's why he been annoyed for the last few weeks.
You patted him on the back, wanting to offer to go cuddle in the bedroom, but suddenly Naberius made you fall to the floor, before gently kissing the ring on your left ring finger. He put you on his lap, still hugging and covering you with his wings from the rest of the world.
–Uh, Kalego-chan?..
–You will no longer pollute our bedroom with the smell of Opera-senpai! Don't even think about it!
–Then you'll have to hug me harder so I don't freeze, – you snuggle up to him, touching the soft sweater with your hands, and put your head on the demon's shoulder.
–Do you want a very interesting fact?..
–There are no facts that two naked bodies emit heat more efficiently!
–In general, I wanted to tell you that bats are also engaged in pollination of cacti, but you yourself have set priorities for yourself.
You open your mouth and bite the demon's sharp ear angrily. He exhales softly, his cheeks flushing red again for a second. Then he turns his head, the tip of his nose touching yours.
–We'd better kiss each other now, before I hide you from Opera-senpai in our bedroom for the rest of our lives.
–As if you could do that!
–We both know I could.
–It's not true!..
You are interrupted again. But this time with a kiss. But you don't mind, you just hug your husband harder by the neck and come off just for a moment to kiss his bruises under his eyes and strongly prominent cheekbones. The demon has been sleeping badly lately, and all because of the smell of your senpai in the bedroom.
But he's going to have a good sleep tonight. And you will have to pay for spreading the smell of a particular demon in the house. Because Kalego will hold you so tightly to yourself that you will practically not be able to breathe. Naberius will cover you from the world with his wings and "tie" to himself with a tail that will wrap around your leg.
But at least you will be able to see his smile after so much time… Therefore, one sleepless night will not affect your life too much. The main thing is for Kalego to be calm again and not growl at his colleagues when they asked what happened to him. And Opera... well, you can always meet with them at the end of the month, when your husband will need to hand over a huge number of reports and documents to the director…
Bonus (?)
Opera snorted and almost laughed, but you raised your eyebrows in surprise. You have only recently been able to talk to them again, because Kalego started dragging you around the school with him in his spare moments, imperceptibly holding your hand, leaving his scent on you and as if showing those who know that it is better not to mess with you.
–Is there something wrong with me? – you asked, awkwardly rubbing your neck.
Opera still couldn't help laughing, but was able to get a mirror for you. They handed you a small object, pointing to the skin of your neck. You frowned, looked at yourself in the mirror and...
–W-why did he do it?!
You looked with great embarrassment at the dark spot visible on your neck exposed to the whole world. Before work, you rarely had time to look in the mirror, and after school, your husband preferred to hug you and hold your hand, so you couldn't look at yourself either.
And only now you could see the darkened skin that all your colleagues and students saw...
–It seems that someone very much did not want me to approach you, (Y/N).
You could only quickly turn up the collar of your coat to hide the trace left by the hickey and bite, and mentally yelled. I will take revenge on you, Kalego-chan!.. Somehow…
Opera continued to giggle while you squatted and tried to figure out who you could take the scarf from to hide the school marked by your husband. But it was useless. Everyone has already seen who you belong to…
Before the bell rang, before you were supposed to go to class, you could only mentally shout one thing: "The damn husband is an owner!.."
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etherealyoungk · 3 years ago
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familiar solace - hoshi
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wrote this a while back when i needed some comfort. if you're having a hard time and you read this, i hope this comforts you <3
i sighed, closing my eyes, resting my head on the side of the seat. i closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. If hoshi was here, he'd know exactly how to cheer me up. Just then I opened my eyes and there he was, standing in front of me, with a smile on his face. I was actually confused if I was dreaming but his "are you okay?", snapped me back to reality. looking forward to seeing him :(
"oh..hi", i told, surprised to see him since he said he couldn't make it tonight. he studied my face and must have realized something was bothering me and his expression softened immediately and he sat down next to me, facing me, taking my hand in his.
"are you okay?", he asked worried, pouting.
i didn't know how to answer this. was i okay? i sighed.
"i don't know. iI just had a really bad day and i'm really tired", i told softly, not meeting his eye.
"how come you're here? i thought you said you couldn't come?", i asked, confused.
"oh, i wanted to surprise you!", he told a little brightly and i gave him a small but tired smile.
"you haven't had dinner yet right, let's go. i'm sure some good food in your tummy will make you feel better", he said getting up, putting his hand out for me, which i took gladly and we both walked to a nearby restaurant, which hoshi said was supposed to be good.
hoshi held my hand as we walked and it was a sort of a familiar comfort i had missed. we reached the restaurant and we ordered. we were in the corner booth of the restaurant, hoshi opposite me. h asked me how my project was going - the reason why i had to work late this week and also the reason why i had a bad day today.
our food finally came and i served little on my plate. i picked up my fork and played with the food a bit, my appetite was suddenly gone. i forced myself to at least take small bites since Ii didn't want hoshi to worry. as we ate, i let hoshi do most of the talking as he had a lot to fill me up on, but somewhere my attention wasn't on what he was saying. he must have noticed this.
"babe? are you okay?", he asked me once again. "why aren't you eating, you don't like the food? should i order something else?", he added, concerned, putting his fork down.
"no, it's not that. i'm just not so hungry", i confessed and he immediately came over to sit next to me.
"what's wrong, you're worrying me", he asked again, his eyes holding worry and a slight sadness in them.
"just... i had a bad day plus staying late to work is something i don't like to do but i can't say no", i finally let out. he looked at me with understanding, nodding. he knew i couldn't stay up too late. but working late hours for the past week messed up my sleep schedule and made my body confused, so i ended making some stupid choices, like today morning.
"i kind of messed up something today and got a good scolding, it wasn't nice. it was just really humiliating", i added softly, my eyes slowly tearing up.
after putting up with all this stress and anxiety for the past week, it built up, and now as i was telling hoshi, letting everything out, i finally felt some sort of relief. a few tears rolled down my cheeks and he froze for a few seconds, not sure what to do. i don't really cry in front of people but today i just let go. a few more soft sobs escaped me and he quickly grabbed some tissues and handed them to me. he scooted closer to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his chest. i leaned into him, sniffling.
thank god we were in the corner so no one else would see me cry.
"hey, it's okay", he told gently, wiping my tears away with the sleeve of his shirt. i blew my nose, which was a runny mess, trying to look elegant but failing.
"gosh, i probably look ugly when i cry", i said, wiping my nose once again.
"no, you don’t", he said. "and the next time your struggling or having a hard time, tell me. don't deal with it alone. i'm always there for you", he told me, and his words warmed my heart. he kissed my temple and being in his embrace gave me some comfort.
he got his plate from the other side and placed it next to mine and continued to sit next to me and eat instead. now that i had vented everything to him, it left me so much better and my appetite somehow came back. i ate some more and he looked at me fondly as i ate, happy that I was feeling better now.
we finished eating and were walking back to the bus stop, where his car was parked. just as we were nearing the car, he told me to wait by the car and that he would be back. he ran off before i could ask him where he was going. i made my way back to the car and waited. he came back after two minutes, smiling, and stood in front of me.
"tada, he told, presenting me with a rose. i couldn't help but smile back.
"just wanted to surprise you with something", he told.
my heart swelled at this action. this made me feel better.
we drove back home and he dropped me at my doorstep. both of us lingered there, not wanting to leave or say goodbye yet.
"thank you for today", i told sincerely and he smiled.
"of course, and remember, i’m always here for you", he told once again. i took two steps forward, closing the gap between us, and engulfed him in a hug. he hugged me back immediately, his hands wrapping themselves around me. i pulled away, looking at him, still in his embrace.
so...how about a kiss now?", i asked sweetly.
he chuckled.
"how can i say no to that", he told cutely, leaning forward, kissing me. i kissed him back and his lips parted against mine. his hand went to my face, cupping my cheek as he deepened the kiss. my hands held onto the collar of his coat, slowly pulling him closer. he broke the kiss, and he looked so happy like he was a love drunk. i pecked his lips once again.
"if you continue this, you're gonna summon the tiger inside me", he told playfully. i giggled at this. and he proceeded to imitate the tiger by doing an adorable rawr followed by the tiger paws.
"goodnight my love", he said, planting a kiss on my cheek.
"you too", i replied.
he stole another kiss from me before walking back to the car, making a heart with his hand as he walked backward and giving me more air kisses. yup, he was definitely love drunk. i laughed as he grinned wide, making my heart full. my precious tiger <3
--
i hope you liked this, i'd love to know what you think! my inbox is open to chat :)
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ncity-carrotcity-tancity · 2 years ago
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#4350 part 1 - Bus stop
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#4350 masterlist ao3
"Did you see your prince charming today ? Did he wake you up from your sleep with a kiss ?" your friend asked with a knowing look.
You growled.
"I hate you so much."
They giggled, delighted.
Or in which reader developped a crush on the stranger she fell asleep on in the bus.
pairing : joshua hong x f!reader - seokkwan and soonhoon blink and you'll miss it
tags : strangers to lovers ; meeting on the bus ; pining from a distance ;
warnings : nothing
part 1 words : 2k
total fic words : 14k
_____________________________
"Did you see your prince charming today ? Did he wake you up from your sleep with a kiss ?" your friend asked with a knowing look.
You growled.
"I hate you so much."
They giggled, delighted.
Honestly, only you could manage to develop a crush on the stranger you fell asleep on in the bus.
Deep sigh.
_____________________________
Few days earlier.
You pouted.
You were so tired, your day had been so long and, may you say, kind of shitty. You had just argued with your partner for your project due tomorrow which was halfway done (he was supposed to do the other part) and your mom called telling you the family dog was sick.
You shook your head. Last night, you went to bed later then usual, which only made your condition worse. You wish you could say it was because you studied extra hours but you just got caught into your show and finished a season in a night.
Dumb fuck.
You sighed for what seemed to be the millionth time today as the bus #4350 finally arrived.
You jumped in, beeping your card as you entered.
Without even looking where you were sitting, you paired your earbuds to your phone and put your soft playlist on. You weren't planning to doze off, mostly because the drive was only 15 minutes long, but as soon as the first notes of Evermore from Taylor Swift sounded, you passed out.
_____________________________
You woke up as a hand softly brushed your shoulder.
"Hey, hum..." a voice murmured too close to your ear.
You jumped.
This couldn't be true. You couldn't have fallen asleep on the shoulder of the stranger sitting next to you who happened to be extremely handsome.
"I- I'm so sorry. Oh my god !" you blathered, your face probably red.
"No, no problem ! You actually smelled so nice-" the pretty boy's eyes became as big as a fist as he gasped. "I mean, you didn't bother me ! But you should hurry or you are gonna miss the next stop."
You blinked, lost, but quickly snapped out of it and took a look outside to understand how long you had been taking advantage of pretty boy's shoulder.
You were indeed one stop away from your apartment.
You collected your stuff as fast as you could as the bus' doors were already opening.
You turned around to thank the boy and to apologize once again. He shook his hands, telling you it was really no problem.
You hurried out of the bus before the doors would close and watched it leave.
You stood there for a second, as if under a spell, and it suddenly hit you : how could he know which stop was yours ?
_____________________________
"Please tell me you asked for his number," your best friend said with a pleading voice.
"Cole ! Have you even listening to a single thing I just told you ? I rushed as fast as I could off the bus not to miss my stop. How in the world would you want me to have asked for his number ?"
You heard them sigh.
"Well, at least he must take this bus everyday, just like you..."
"I wouldn't even know, it's always so full of people."
"Next time you can talk to him and discover what his name is !" they exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Supposing I would see him again, why would I ever try to talk to him after I embarrassed myself like that ?" you scoffed.
"Because he embarassed himself too and he very obviously must have observed you, otherwise he wouldn't have known your stop !"
You sighed.
"You're giving me a headache. How are things with your girlfriend ?" you jumped on the first subject possible.
"That's low y/n ! You know I don't wanna talk about that," they pouted.
"Sorry...should we grab something to eat and relax in front of a movie ?" you suggested to apologize.
"You pay for the food," they retorted immediately.
"Of course," you laughed and hugged them.
_____________________________
You took the bus again and this time, you inspected it carefully to find your boy.
You saw him, a book in his hands, probably at the same time as he saw you.
You both averted your gaze, a sligth blush on your cheeks.
You walked past him and took a seat behind him on his left, the perfect place to stare at him creepily without him noticing.
Saying you were disappointed you didn't greet each other would be a lie. Not that it mattered that much, obviously, you didn't even expect to ever become his friend.
You put on your earbuds and choose a playlist before rising your eyes to inspect him carefully.
Last time you hadn't had the time to really look at him.
His hair was parted and a messy curly. It was quite long and an ash blond that looked nearly grey.
You noticed that his eyes that you first thought were a dark brown were actually a lighter hazelnut. They were the prettiest when the sun kissed his face and you could see their true colour.
He was wearing a simple white t-shirt under a beige blazer and some pants that were a darker beige.
He was always careful of his posture, probably not even doing it on purpose.
He looked...good. Damn good.
The free seat next to him seemed extremely inviting but you shook the thought out your brain.
You rose the volume on your phone and stopped staring at your bus boy.
He left the bus two stops before yours and you once again exchanged a look when he jumped off, but this time he nodded his head to you and you replied with a smile.
Maybe your heart melted.
_____________________________
The next afternoon, you had waited all day to see him and maybe simply greet him ? Nothing incredible, you weren't trying to become his friend anyway.
But when you entered the bus, he was nowhere to be seen.
You didn't know why you were disappointed. It was not like you knew his agenda and he was supposed to take this bus every afternoon. He could have decided to take the one before or the one after, to spend more time with his friends or to work at the library. He may have a job and had to stay some extra hours today. Or maybe he didn't take this bus every afternoon like you did.
You didn't even know why all these thoughts were crossing your mind.
You frowned and put on your music to distract yourself.
_____________________________
You saw him again the next day.
He was sitting next to the window, staring at the landscape outside.
You thought he wouldn't notice your presence but he suddenly turned his head as you were looking for a seat. He smiled and you shook your hand, murmuring a timid "Hi" as you sat a few seats before him. He waved back.
You had your back against the window, enabling you to see both the front and the back of the bus (and casually to steal a look from him from time to time).
This time you noticed he had an habit to stick his tongue out to wet his lips and when he seemed lost in his thoughts. It was adorable.
You found yourself displaying a soft smile. What were you doing exactly ? For all you knew, he could have a significant other.
You sighed.
_____________________________
Once again your crush wasn't in the bus when you walked in. You pouted. You wanted to actually approach him today.
One stop later, you saw the man himself jump on the bus, immediately looking for something (someone) in the crowd and his face lighting up when he saw you. He lowered his gaze with a cute smile.
A hand pushed him and he stumbled. He turned around, frowning. The boy behind him laughed and said loud enough for you to hear :
"Come on Shua, people are waiting behind us !"
He wasn't alone today ?
Pause.
'Shua' ?
You hummed, with a little smile. You knew his name now. Or at least his nickname.
That was a start right ?
'Shua' rolled his eyes and you giggled.
"Come here !" his friend exclaimed, grabbing his hand and sitting just in front of you.
You took a glance at Shua's friend and noticed how, him too, was perfectly handsome. He had long dark hair and his face was... angel like.
They began to talk and you noted that they seemed extremely close. They constantly nudged each other playfully, laughing at everything the other said.
It warmed your heart. You had to admit they were cute together.
You noticed your boy had a habit of putting his hand in front if his mouth when he giggled softly.
Sometimes your boy would cry a "Jeonghan !" desperately when the other boy was messing with him but all this 'Jeonghan' would ever call your bus boy was 'Shua'.
You exchanged a look with both of them once or twice, smiling kindly before gazing away.
Way to be subtle y/n...
As you were approaching Shua's habitual stop, you saw them grow excited again, your boy doing anything possible to shut Jeonghan's mouth as the other one had a mischievous smile.
You heard him murmur : "Jeonghan no ! I'm not doing it !" as his friend was laughing out loud and staring your way.
"Fine..." his devilish friend started and he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and scribbled something on it. "Then I'm doing it !"
Shua's eyes grew bigger and he tried by all mean to take the paper but Jeonghan was seemingly holding onto it for dear life.
"Han ! We are not doing that !"
"We aren't, I am !"
You fake caughed to hide the laugh that escaped your lips. This Jeonghan really seemed like a pain in the ass. You liked him.
The bus eventually opened the doors in front of their stop and Shua tried one last desperate move to extract the paper from his friend's hands, which worked but the paper flew away, right next to your feet.
You being a sneaky snake, you hid it under your shoe as the boys were looking for it.
Before they could run outside, the doors closed and the bus departed.
"We missed the stop !" Shua complained, turning around to poke his friend. "You're such a pain in the ass Yoon Jeonghan !"
"If you weren't a wimp, we wouldn't have missed it Hong Jisoo !" Jeonghan retorted, poking him in return.
'Hong Jisoo', huh ? You wondered why the 'Shua' then.
You remembered the little piece of paper under your shoe and kneeled to grab it.
As the two of them were still arguing, you approached their seat and cleared your throat.
"Hi !" you greeted with your softest smile. "You were looking for that ?" you asked, handing them the paper.
They both stared at you, clueless, but Jisoo pushed your hand lightly, returning it to you.
"Y-you can keep it..."
You looked at your hand then glanced back at him and you were probably displaying the same dumb awkward smile as him.
You felt like butterflies wings were tickling your skin where he just touched you and like your heart was seconds away from exploding.
The bus stopped and you blinked, putting an end to whatever spell you were under.
Jeonghan chuckled.
"That was intens-"
Before he could finish, Jisoo pushed him to the doors.
"Bye" he just told you and they jumped off.
You exhaled.
That's it, you were whipped.
_____________________________
"That's so romantic oh my god !"
You sighed.
"How weak must I be for him to simply touch my hand and now all I can think about is him ?"
Saying Cole was delighted was an understatement. They were jumping everywhere and asking for all the details.
"And ? What did the paper say ?"
"I don't know. I didn't open it, it's not mine."
You felt a slap on the back of your head.
"Ow !" you protested.
"Y/n y/l/n ? Are you fucking dumb ? He gave it to you ! Where is it ?"
"He just said that I could keep it, probably because he didn't know what to do with it anyway..." you retorted.
"I can't believe you just said that...Where is it ?"
You looked in your back pocket but didn't find it.
"I... don't know," you answered dumbfounded.
"Don't bullshit me, where did you hide it ?"
Your friend jumped on their feet to look for it and search all your pockets uselessly.
"I must have lost it," you said rising your shoulders.
"There could have been his phone number on it ! He wanted you to text him !" they exclaimed, borderline screaming.
"Well, I don't know where I put it. And I really don't think it was his phone number to be honest."
Your friend was emptying your school bag and they turned around.
"Y/n, you do understand that this boy is as much, if not more, into you as you are into him, right ?" they seriously told you.
"I am not sure about that and you can't be either because you have never seen him !"
Cole groaned but didn't say anything because they knew this was where the discussion was ending.
_____________________________
Later that night, as you were opening your book to study, you saw a piece of paper fall from it.
You smiled, recognising it.
You opened it curiously, excited to see if what Cole said could be true.
You read the few lines written on it and opened your mouth, scoffing.
Well, in your defense, you were right, it wasn't Jisoo's phone number.
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catzula · 4 years ago
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(Don't) Let me be the judge of that
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a/n: enemies to lovers w Osamu. Nothing more to say.
genre: mostly fluff, enemies to lovers au, fem!reader
warnings: Osamu being an ass in the beginning, swearing, mentions of social anxiety, 5.6k
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《Synopsis: Osamu Miya is too judgemental for his own good, never accepting he's simply wrong. You're here to change that.》
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Osamu Miya had a habit of judging people. It would take him one look and a few seconds to decide whether he liked someone or not, the answer often being the latter. But the worst part was just how stubborn and maybe a bit self-centered Osamu was. He trusted himself a little too much, and it was impossible to change his opinion of someone after he had made up his mind, and if he didn't like someone, that was it, he would never grow to like them.
Or so everyone -including Osamu himself- thought until you entered his life.
~
You weren't surprised to feel the brown pair of eyes looking your way when your professor announced the project was in pairs. "Decide on your partners until the end of the hour and give me a list of the groups." He told the class and leaned back in his chair.
"Y/N!" You heard him before you saw him, a mop of bleached blond hair coming into your view right after. "Hi, Atsumu." You offered him a smile as you pocketed your phone, tilting your head when he frowned in response. "I already told you, Y/N, it's 'Tsumu to you!"
"Why?" You sighed annoyedly. Having had the conversation once before, you knew damn well he wouldn't stop until you did what he wanted, but you still chose to resist.
"Because," the boy whined, "it's a sign of our friendship. Only my friends and 'Samu call me that, and I want you to call me by my nickname, too." You chose not to talk about how he excluded his twin from his friends, knowing that would only lead to another argument. 
"Who even came up with this stupid name? It doesn't make any sense, it's only one syllable shorter, and it's even harder to say!" Atsumu's warm-brown eyes narrowed. "It's not stupid!" He protested, pouting until you gave up.
"Okay, okay, whatever. 'Tsumu-kun. There, happy?"
"Tsumu." The blond corrected with a grin.
"Kun." You added (to rile him up)
"Only Tsumu, goddammit! We're close enough."
"Are we, though? We only know each other for... what? A week?"
"A month!" Atsumu gasped as he corrected you. "And it doesn't matter how long we know each other, okay? It's a matter of how well we connect." His frown got deeper when you made a face, muttering something about him being cheesy, so he decided to switch strategies.
"But you always call me by my name when we're alone, Y/N-chan." Words spoken as flirtatiously as possible, Atsumu never missed the chance to tease you.
"A-atsumu, what the fuck, don't make it sound weird!" You exclaimed, already aware of the murmurs starting to spread around the room and the eyes turning on you both.
"There we go," Atsumu grinned when he heard his name falling from your lips, "wasn't that hard, was it?"
"You just had to be a little shit." You sighed, and his grin only spread wider. "I am a little shit, aren't I? Thank god I'm handsome. Anyway, I'm writing our names down." 
"It feels like we're getting married, seeing our names standing next to each other like this." He sighed, wiping the nonexistent tears from the corner of his eyes as he handed the paper to the person sitting behind you. You heard someone gasp at his words, and you never wanted to hit someone with a chair this much in your life.
"Shut the hell up!" You whisper-yelled, only feeling your anger growing when he sent you an innocent look. "What? I'm just saying-"
"I swear to god," You flared, "I'll tell everyone that one time you ran out of the library screaming when you saw a cockroach if you don't shut up." His grin disappeared as soon as you spoke the words, eyes widening and mouth shutting.
"You promised to never talk about it!" You had to admit that it did feel powerful to see him so panicked, face flushed, the sleazy look that was almost always in his eyes nonexistent and replaced with something similar to fear.
"It's up to you wether I talk about it or not." You shrugged.
~~~
"Woah, you look tired." You heard a familiar voice say as he plopped right next to you on the bench, holding a homemade bento in his hands, wrapped too neatly to be made by him.
"And whose fault is that?" You muttered, trying to conceal your murderous intent towards him. Even just thinking about your day gave you headaches. You groaned when he shrugged, focusing on unwrapping the bento box. "Yours, idiot!" 
"What did I d-" You winced when he spoke after taking a big spoon of rice and showing you everything that was in his mouth. 
"Your fans wont let me be! Ever since we started hanging out, it's almost like I'm being harassed."
"That's not necesarrily my fault." Atsumu shrugged, proceeding with another bite of his food. 
"It is, actually. I know you like to tease me, but if you keep saying shit like 'oh look our names together, feels like we're getting married' or that fucking 'you call me by my name when we're alone' you make it worse! You know how many people came up to me and asked if we were sleeping? One even asked me if we were engaged! We've known each other for two weeks, for god's sake!"
"A month." Atsumu corrected, shutting up when you sent him a look. "That's not even the worst part. Whenever I don't give an answer, or the answer they want to hear from me, people start to-" 
They started to get mean. Some even insulted you without batting an eye, speaking of how you weren't even pretty, that you had to be sleeping with Atsumu to be near him, and many fucking more.
"What?" He asked. "People started to what?" You knew he could sense how tense you were starting to get, but you always started to fight with him whenever he asked if people were bothering you, never answering his question, despite the answer being obvious. 
"Nothing, its just frustrating." You shrugged, taking a bite out of your meal to stop yourself from talking -or crying-. 
"Look, I can guess what's going on." Atsumu sighed, "and the only reason I can think of of you not telling me what's happening is that you don't want me to interfere, but you should tell them to piss off, already." He advised you the same stupid sentence he had been advising the past few days, ever since he noticed how his fans acted towards you. 
"Yeah, thanks for the advice, jackass. It would be easier if you stopped being so extra." You muttered into your cup full of coffee, feeling a tinge of guilt, putting the whole blame on him and not admitting you probably should tell people to mind their business already.
But you just weren't the type of person that was comfortable with talking to people you didn't know or know well enough, and you certainly weren't going to tell people to 'piss off' so comfortably.
You gulped when he sighed. "Okay, sorry, you're right, and I went overboard. But I gotta go to training now. It'll end around 5 p.m, so come to my place at 6?" He raised to his feet as he took one last sip of his drink when he finished his food.
"And if anyone asks you if we're married again, you have my permission to say yes." He grinned, patting your hair twice before you rolled your eyes, but couldn't stop a giggle from escaping your lips. "Oh, thank you, gracious lord." You cried out dramatically, scoffing when he pinched your cheek. "Exactly."
~~~
"I'm going into shower." Atsumu announced as Osamu shuffled through the fridge. 
"And?" The grey-haired twin asked from the fridge without pulling back, locating the eggs, and taking some out. "Do you want my help or something?
He expected an equally sarcastic comment from his brother, lifting his head as he closed the door of the fridge. "Cook for 3 today, a friend's coming over." He heard him say instead.
"A friend?" Osamu quirked his brow, ready to laugh given the punchline, but it never came.
"Yep." His twin answered instead, popping the p like some idiot middle schooler. "She's nice, you'll like her." He grinned, and Samu was already sure that wouldn't be the case. "Is this the girl ya can't stop talking about?"
Osamu couldn't say he wasn't interested since it was rare to see his brother drawn to anything but himself and volleyball, especially not to a girl. And judging by how Atsumu spoke about you, it was evident he had a particular liking to you.
The smug grin on Atsumu's face gave Osamu his answer, to which he grimaced. "don't wanna hear a fucking sound."
"She's coming over to study, you pervert! We have a project together."
"Yeah, whatever, I said what I said." Osamu shrugged, turning his back to Atsumu and started to chop the vegetables, unable to shake off the unlucky feeling pooling in his stomach.
~~~
"Oi, shit-head, does yer friend have any allergies or somethin'?" Osamu knocked on the bathroom door that had steam coming from the gap beneath it. He waited as Atsumu closed the water. "Eh, I'm not sure." 
"Yer not sure? How long do you even know her?"
"A month." Atsumu answered, turning the water back on. A month? It wasn't like Atsumu didn't get close to a girl he knew for such a short time, but Osamu had never, ever seen Atsumu bring a girl home.
"Hurry up, already, what the hell are you even doing in there?!" Osamu shouted, knocking on the bathroom door and holding back an urge to kick down the door when he heard the happy humms of his brothers.
"Oi, idiot, I'm telling you- goddammit." He clenched his teeth when he heard the doorbell. 
"Hurry up or you're not eating." Osamu knocked one last time before he rushed to the door to let you in. 
He opened the door without thinking of opening the lights as well, and since it was well after the sun had set, he couldn't see what you looked like, but he knew he wasn't expecting- well, you.
You were bent forward, trying to undo the messy knot your shoelaces had formed when the door opened. Sending a glance at the silhouette standing at the door, you turned your attention back to untying the mess your shoes were. 
"Hey, Atsumu." You muttered without taking another look, assuming it was Atsumu who had greeted you. You didn't see how Osamu's face soured, dark-grey eyes narrowing at your form with some hostility he couldn't help.
In your defense, the light wasn't on, and you hadn't taken a good look at the boy standing before you, so it wasn't exactly your fault for not realizing it was Osamu, right?
No.
Strike one.
Osamu hated when people mixed him with Atsumu. Did they not see the bright platinum gray hair, clearly different from his twins piss colored one? Osamu hadn't dyed his hair for the sake of looking nice, and he certainly hadn't sat in the hairdresser for hours long just to get mixed up with his twin again.
You had noticed your mistake as soon as you stood up and looked at the tall figure staring at you, leaning on the door frame and his arms tied on his chest almost defensively. "O-oh," Osamu heard you mutter softly, not sure as to why your voice sent goosebumps down his arms. "You're not Atsumu."
The somewhat disappointed tone of your voice made him furrow his brows. The smile you had on your lips dropped as soon as you locked eyes with the grey ones, familiar yet strange, and Osamu could feel himself getting more irked by the second.
The truth was, you weren't exactly disappointed, mostly embarrassed and a little surprised, although the unsatisfied look his eyes held kept making you even more nervous. He waited as your eyes wandered over his face, over the scowl resting on his lips, looking so mean and hostile, you found yourself taking a defensive step away from him.
"I- uh," Osamu's scowl didn't move an inch when you forced a smile at him, and you checked the time on your phone to break the eye contact. "Atsumu told me to come by at 6, and... is he- is he home?"
"Yeah," The boy talked for the first time, and you noticed how his voice was deeper than his twin's. It was nicer, too, you thought. "He's in the shower, though he should be-"
"Y/N, you're here!" You heard the twin you were familiar with speak your name, standing in the entrance, hair still wet and dripping with excess water. 
"Don't get cocky, I'm here for the project." You rolled your eyes with fake annoyance, unsuccessful at hiding your smile. Osamu felt something in him shift as he watched the change in your demeanor, feeling- what, jealous? 
"You met 'Samu?" Atsumu approached you, not missing the tension hanging in the air. "Y/N, this is the inferior twin, 'Samu, as you can also tell. And 'Samu, this' Y/N." He introduced you, making you laugh awkwardly, but Osamu kept his glower. 
"Don't mind him, he can be an asshole sometimes." Atsumu whispered at you, which anyone even passing by outside the house could hear. "Look at who's talking." You told him with a snarky quirk of a brow, making Atsumu frown. "Mean."
The blond pulled you towards the living room, making you settle on the couch and plopping next to you. Osamu caught the glance you sent his way when he didn't sit, leaning against the wall that was across you, instead, and you found he still had that frown that seemed to be imprinted on his face.
Osamu's frown was deepening on his lips at how comfortable you looked next to Atsumu, the friendly banter you had the exact opposite of how uncomfortable you looked next to Osamu. Maybe it was the natural competitiveness that came with having a twin, but Osamu hated this feeling. Why couldn't you smile at him like that, too? Yeah, maybe he was acting like a dick, but wasn't Atsumu also?
"Go dry your hair, idiot, you'll get sick!" Osamu heard you tell his twin, watching you hit him with the nearest pillow. "Hm?" Atsumu turned to you with a grin, leaning towards you for easy access to his hair. "I thought ya could do it for me?"
Osamu watched you with interest as you glared at his twin with annoyance. "I hope you get sick." You narrowed your eyes at him. "If you keep this attitude around other people, I'll kick you."
"Alright, alright, I won't flirt with ya when other people are around." Atsumu grinned, and Osamu felt his appetite vanishing. "I'll just leave." He muttered to himself, closing the door behind him just after hearing your answer to his twin.
"Don't flirt with me, ever?" 
You had spoken it with such genuine annoyance that if you had listened closely, you could hear Osamu laughing from the other side of the door.
~
So, the meeting with his twin was anything but successful.
Osamu was very blunt with how much he hadn't liked you, his glare reminding you of the ones Atsumu had whenever his fans approached him, cold and cruel.
Grey was clearly the superior choice, though, that you found yourself thinking as you gazed at the blond. "What? Lost in my handsomeness?" Atsumu teased you when he noticed you weren't paying attention to the project. You had to hold yourself back physically before you said something along the lines of how his twin was hotter, but you knew he wouldn't talk to you ever again, so you shut your mouth and took the teasing. 
Luckily, Osamu was barging through the door before Atsumu could continue, bored-looking eyes finding you two where he had left you. "Dinner's ready." He told you and left the room.
"Food," Atsumu salivated, jumping on his feet the moment he heard his brother, ready to sprint to the kitchen. You shuffled awkwardly in your place when you felt his warm-brown gaze on you, expecting you to stand up, as well, and eat.
"I- uh," you muttered. "I'm not really hungry, and I ate before I came here." Lies. "Can't we just finish this project instead?"
Strike two.
Just as he started to think you weren't horrible, Osamu gasped from the other side of the wall when he heard you (the walls were thin), his teeth clenching in annoyance. Really? Did you prefer doing a fucking project over his food? The food he had cooked?
Osamu was never a forgiving person, but this- this was something he could never forgive, he decided on the spot.
"Oh, come on, stop bein' a baby." Atsumu told you, pulling you by your hand on your legs, he knew you well to understand you were hesitating to go there because of his brother. Or more as he was making you nervous and you would rather not eat than go in his presence. "Osamu's the best cook around, you'll see." He joked so you could relax a little, making you giggle nervously.
Strikeout.
Osamu flinched at the words, eyes narrowing on you as you entered the kitchen. Did you doubt his abilities? 
You thanked the boy as he placed your plate in front of you, steaming hot food, smelling so good that you wanted to bury your face in it, but the grey gaze hovering over you was making you so nervous that it made it impossible for you to take even a small bite.
"Do ya like it?" Atsumu asked you, noticing how you were nudging the food with your fork without eating. You flinched in your place, your friends' voice pulling you out of your thoughts and back to reality, to which you mustered a smile and nodded. "Yeah! Yeah, it's- it's delicious. Thank you." You turned back to Osamu, who scoffed at your words, causing you to frown. 
You could tell he didn't like you one bit, even though you weren't sure as to why, but you discarded the thought. He was free to like or dislike you, which, in this case, was the latter, though it stung a little since you thought he seemed nice when- well, when he didn't frown at you.
He seemed like the type you would either get along or hate mutually.
He had obviously chosen the latter, and both Atsumu and you could feel the almost hateful air coming from Osamu as he glanced at you with a disinterested, blank face. "Did ya have a bad day or something, 'Samu?" Atsumu broke the silence, and you felt like you could finally take a breath. "You look like someone kicked ya in the nuts."
"Fuck off, 'Tsumu." 
"Nah, you've been acting like a dick all day. What's with ya today?"
"I said fuck off!" Osamu warned his twin another time, this time successfully silencing the blonde. 
"Thank you," You broke the awful silence that followed Osamu's voice. "The food was delicious." You told him after you finished your food. You could still feel his gaze over you as you placed your plate in the sink and retreated to the living room. 
"Your brother didn't like me very much, did he?" Osamu heard you mutter to his brother after he had left, too, feeling a fracture of guilt in his chest as he caught the disappointment in your voice.
"It's just... 'Samu. Don't worry about it." Atsumu told you, closing the door behind you.
~
Osamu was hesitant to knock on the living room door.
It had been about two hours since you had gone in, and knowing his brother- he couldn't be sure as of what's to happening.
"Oi, 'Tsumu!" He barged in the room, discarding the thoughts before he gave up. 
"Shut up." Atsumu whispered, eyes lifting from his phone screen for a second and glancing at you. You, who was lying on the sofa and- sleeping?
"She fell asleep." Atsumu grinned at his brother's questioning gaze. "I'll carry her back to the car. Can you drive her home?"
Osamu didn't hold back his snicker when Atsumu's voice dropped volume as he asked the favor from his brother, still not able to admit to himself the defeat.
"Your hair is still wet, idiot," Osamu mumbled, his eyes wandering over your figure. "And I will not take care of you if you go out and get sick."
"What?" Atsumu grinned mockingly. "Are you gonna carry her then? Be a hero for the girl you've been acting like an ass all day? What the fuck was up with you today?"
"I don't like her." Osamu shrugged.
"She's not the kind of girl you think of her as." Atsumu quickly responded, already aware of what his twin had decided about you. Atsumu knew Osamu too well, his stubbornness even more, so he wasn't exactly surprised when he shrugged. 
"Let me be the judge of that, and I don't have to like her."
"Whatever, you do you. But you know, you don't have to dislike her just because she's my friend, too."
Osamu stood silent, eyes falling back on you. He knew Atsumu was partly right, but he had his reasons not to like you, right? Osamu pocketed his car keys, nodding at his twin and lifting you off the couch.
Atsumu grinned at the audible gulp his twin took when you shifted uncomfortably in Osamu's arms, snuggling your body closer to him, your hand fisting his shirt unconsciously. 
You woke up with Osamu hovering over you, and it took you a second or two to notice you were in a car and he was tying your seatbelt. He was so close, yet so careful not to touch you, his smell -a different perfume than his brother's- filling your newly awakened senses with him, him, him. Your eyes met his when he tied it and pulled back, a brow quirking up as his frown settled on his lips. 
"Did I wake you up?" He muttered as he retreated to his seat, running his fingers through his hair as he fixed his mirror, pushing back the few stray strands back from his face. Osamu turned back to you when you stood quiet, a sarcastic smile quirking his lips upwards, but it fell as soon as you talked.
"Wh- uh, where's Atsumu?"
Osamu clenched his teeth, not knowing why it angered it so much that his twin was the first thing that came to your mind as soon as you woke up.
"Home." Osamu gritted through his teeth. "I'm dropping you home, 'Tsumu gave me the address."
He glanced at you when you stood silent. "He doesn't have a license." Osamu couldn't help but add, a feeling stirring in him when you laughed at that. "So he failed the exam and you passed? That must've been a blow on his ego."
"Oh, you have no idea." Osamu found himself laughing with you.
Silence. He could feel your growing anxiety, and you could tell he was nervous as well, the taps of his fingers on the stirring wheel echoing in the car. His hair reflecting the colors coming from the road, yellow, red, and green, the features of his face illuminated, you thought he looked too handsome to be true.
"Why are you friends with him?" Osamu blurted out after a few seconds of silence, but the question didn't seem to surprise you. "Why is anyone friends with anyone?" You teased.
"Atsumu isn't exactly the type people wanna be friends with." 
"Hm," he heard you humm thoughtfully, not answering the question. "If we're asking questions, well, here's one. Why don't you like me?"
He could feel your light gaze on him as he kept his eyes on the road. It wasn't if he liked you or not, but you asked him why. He found himself wondering where that annoying meak girl he had met inside went. "And you don't like me."
"No," you answered honestly, which he found amusing. "You're mean."
"And 'Tsumu isn't?"
He turned to you when you shrugged. "Well, Atsumu is, too. But there is a difference, you know."
"And what is that?"
"He's a naturally mean person." You explained as if it made perfect sense. "He's just mean, he doesn't try to be meaner or nicer. You, on the other hand," you looked at him. "I don't think you're naturally mean, not as much as him, at least. I think you're purposefully being mean, and thats why I don't like you."
You met his eyes when Osamu turned his eyes from the road to you when the car stopped at the red light, grey eyes glistening with reds and yellows from the road. Your eyes followed the small smile that appeared on his lips, and you couldn't help yourself from thinking how soft they looked. How much more handsome he looked with a smile, even with one as cruel as he had now.
"I just don't like you." He told you with as much spite as possible, not sure why he was deliberately trying to hurt you. His brows furrowed when you laughed at his answer, instead.
"You certainly aren't the first." 
"What does that mean?" He asked without missing a beat, the tension now almost solidifying in the air. His heart was hammering in his chest, eyes watching your smiling lips as he waited for your next words, your chest heaving in sync with his, and you were so close, so close that if he leaned even just a little-
"You only met me today, Osamu-kun." He felt goosebumps climbing his back as he heard his name from your lips for the first time. "You know me for what, a few hours at most, and here you are telling me you just don't like me." The cynical tone of your voice made him send you a glare, his hands working over the gear when the red illuminating the car turned green.
"People like you do this a lot, you know. Judge people by one or two mistakes they do, not even anything major, but things you don't like, and deem them unworthy of your time. And how much I hate it when they boast about it, too. What, do you think you're so perfect? Don't you ever make any mistake?"
"People like me?" Osamu repeated, uncharasterically silent after all those words you had spat. "Yeah, shallow people." You answered, but you weren't looking at him anymore as you tapped the window instead. "We're here." 
You were silent as he stopped the car, pulling to the side, and watched you open the door. "You know," he finally spoke, rolling down his window before you were too far. "You say I judge people so quickly, but you did a full-blown analysis just now, and you say I'm the one to judge quick?"
"Tell me, Osamu." You bent forward a little, leveling your face with his. "If you can promise me that you didn't think, ah, I know this type of girl, even once tonight, I'll take it all back and apologize to you."
You smiled when he stood quiet. 
"Goodnight, Osamu. Thank you for the ride." You told him before walking back to your house.
~
"Ya know, with the amount of time you spend here, you may as well move in." Osamu told you gruffly, eyeing you from his side of the couch. Your eyes followed him as he took a bite out of his food, adam's apple bobbing up and down.  
"I'll move in as soon as you leave." You answered with a fake smile, turning your eyes away from his as soon as you realized you were staring, hoping he hadn't noticed, but he had. 
"Yer sure ya want me to leave?" He quirked a brow at you, making you grimace. "Never been more sure." 
It had been about a month since you met Osamu, and it was like this ever since. Osamu never missed the chance to take a jab at you, or he couldn't sleep. You never backed down from it either, the fights going back and forth until either Atsumu got bored and pulled you away or one of their friends called you out.
You didn't enjoy it like they thought you did. In fact, it was getting tiring and annoying, but you couldn't stop yourself from taking a jab at Osamu whenever he shot you a remark.
He looked at you when you sighed, brows quirking up in a silent question. "When's Atsumu gonna be here?"
Atsumu had told you to come to his place that day, telling you he would be there in a few minutes after you and he had something to do, but as always, he was late at least an hour, and you were now stuck with his brother. 
"I'll just go home and meet you up later." You had told the blonde, but he had insisted you stay. 
"Have you ever seen 'Tsumu come somewhere not at least two hours late? I bet he won't be here for at least an hour more." Osamu chuckled. "I'm hungry." He added right after, eyes finding yours.
"And? You need me to cook?" You snickered, not expecting him to stay silent, looking at you for a few more seconds and rolling his eyes as he turned around and went to the kitchen. 
Your brows furrowed in confusion at the antic. Surely Osamu wasn't- he wasn't asking you if you wanted something, was he?
"At least open a movie or something as we wait." Osamu muttered from the kitchen. 
"Do you have something on mind?" You asked, feeling weird at how soft he suddenly was acting. "No, pick one."
"Okay," you muttered to yourself, emphasizing the 'o'. You thought of opening a volleyball match, Atsumu always liked it when you did, and maybe he would- no, why were you even thinking of what he would like? He told you to open whatever, hadn't he?
Still, despite reasoning with yourself, you were jittery as you opened a random comedy show from Netflix. Trying to focus your thoughts on the show playing, you did your best not to think about the silver-haired boy inside, failing miserably by how your mind wandered to him and the odd way he was acting today.
"Say, ya never gave me an answer as to why yer friends with 'Tsumu." He entered the room, carrying a tray with two plates and forks inside. The crooked smile on his lips was making your heart beat twice as fast, even though you didn't want to admit it, and the way he focused on holding the tray on balance, the slight crease between his furrowed brows. Osamu Miya was too handsome for his own good.
"Thanks," you muttered half-heartedly as you took the plate from him, not even aware it was an olive branch he was sticking out. Osamu's face fell when you didn't spare him or his food another look. "You never gave me an answer of why you don't like me, so I guess we're even." You laughed, smile wavering when he didn't laugh along.
He sighed, eyes glancing at you and then back at his hands. It made you antsy, making you feel like something was wrong.
"You chose this to watch?" He turned back to the not answering you. He shifted in his place when you hummed, "I can change it i fyou want." The way he hadn't made fun of your choice of the movie yet, was too uncharacteristic of him.
"No, its okay." He answered instead, ending the conversation -if you could even call this one. You ate in silence, tv playing in the background, though neither of you cared of it, your gaze meeting now and then until you couldn't take it.
"What is wrong with you?" You couldn't help but blurt out, turning the TV off and facing him. You watched him as he quirked his brow up, looking at you questioningly even though he knew what you meant.
"What is wrong with me?" He repeated.
"Why are you being nice?"
He turned back to face the tv after a beat of silence, looking somewhat... shy? What the-
"Wh-what was that?" You asked when he mumbled something, the answer so silent that it was inaudible. "I said," Osamu repeated, eyes still focused on his plate. "You told me you didn't like me because I- uh, I was rude."
His voice was still uncharacteristically quiet, but this time you heard him loud and clear. That didn't mean you understood it, though.
"What do you mean?" He heard you ask, your voice laced with something resembling suspicion, you scoffed when he stood quiet, standing up to your legs and picking your plate off from the table. "If you're trying to tell me you want me to like you, I'm not buying it."
"You're not buying it?" He repeated, mirroring your movements and standing up, making you realize how much taller he was than you. The way he was looking at you- what was it, hurt? No, it couldn't be. Anger would be more like it. 
"Is there no way of winning with you?" He asked, following you to the kitchen and placing his plate a little too roughly on the counter. "You say you don't like me because I'm rude. I try to be nice and you fucking ask me what's wrong with me? What do you want me to do, disappear?"
Now, there was no denying that Osamu was, indeed, hurt, as his face soured when you stood quiet, staring at him blankly at his question. "So you hate me this much." He muttered to himself, running his fingers through his hair. 
"I don't know why you expected me to like someone who has been nothing but rude to me since the moment we met." You shrugged, but a part of you wanted to tell him it was a lie, and despite everything that you- well, you liked him. 
The glare he sent your way was enough to make you choke on the breath you took, taking a step forward to you, close enough for you to feel dizzy with his scent.
"Well, that concludes it, I guess. This was stupid, anyway." Osamu muttered, but he was so close- so close that you could almost feel the heat radiating from him, your eyes fixated on his lips, and if you just leaned forward- a few millimeters was all there was.
"What was- what was stupid?" You whispered, noticing his gaze was also wandering on your lips. Your heart suddenly started thundering in your chest, and you couldn't even ask yourself what's happening? What are you doing?
"This," Osamu breathed against your lips, his gaze so intense over you that it sent chills down your spine. He finally leaned forward, doing what you wanted but couldn't do, the word "apologizing," being the last thing you hear before you felt his lips on yours.
It was a soft kiss, nothing similar to how you thought Osamu would kiss -not that you had thought on it, or so you told yourself-, this kiss was deeper, irrational, amazing. 
"Do you always apologize to people by kissing them?" You asked when he pulled back, smirking at the way your chest heave, feeling a tinge of pride at how breathless he had left you.
"Hm?" He hummed, not wiping that damn smirk off of his face, it even grew wider when he noticed you pressing your fingers on your lips, still in shock, "I don't apologize to people." 
It was true. 
No one had ever seen Osamu Miya change his opinion about something, about someone. He would never admit he was wrong yet apologize.
But here he was, standing before you -just as breathless as you were- apologizing. 
"Maybe you should apologize more." You told him with a sly smile, to which he happily complied.
~
"I wanted to make peace." He told you, sitting on the couch right beside you, refusing to look at you, though. "I've been trying to act nice for a while now, but you seem to- you don't like that."
"A while?" You repeat. "You were never nice to me!"
"I was trying." His brows furrowed at your protest. "But you always had something snarky to say, and I couldn't just stay silent, could I now?"
"But- what? You were always the one who started them!" 
"Was I?" He asked, giving you the time to think, watching your face in disbelief fall into a look of 'fuck, he's right.'
It was you who started the fights, despite thinking it was him all this time. Upon recognizing that, you started to see the times he actually was nice to you, which you had always discarded or turned a blind eye.
Biting your lip guiltily, your turned to him. "I might... owe you an apology." You muttered, very aware of how his eyes glinted, gaze falling back on your lips. "Well," he told you, smiling. "I can't disagree."
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tinysushimark · 3 years ago
Text
My Everything (HRJ)
1.7k words. (Fluff)
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Sometimes you wished you could run away from college and then run a café and live with your boyfriend.
You looked up at him, he was playing on his phone, why was he so relaxed? He has finals too next week. "Renjun! Don't you have to study?" You said.
"I'm done with my course." He said looking back down at his phone.
You sighed, he was always one step ahead of you, even when you were in school he used to teach you things because he was done. Now, even in college he was done before you. Even though you had different majors, you had the same college and fortunately, your classes took place in the same building.
A sigh escaped from your lips as you looked at the amount of chapters left. "What's wrong baby?" Renjun said, sitting next to you.
"I have 3 more chapters left, and exams are next week." You said. "Anything i can help with?" At this you snickered.
"Babe you're an arts major, how are you going to help me with Company Law?" You smiled and looked down.
"I am smart." He said.  "I never said you're dumb."
He stood behind your chair and started massaging your shoulders and neck. "Renjun what the-" He shushed you. "Get back to work." He kept massaging your shoulders.
"Renjun stop. That fucking hurts."
"You're stressed it's all pent up-"
"I told you to fucking stop it." You shouted at him, shooting a death glare.
"Why are you being so mean? I'm just trying to help." Renjun spat at you.
"You're clearly not helping, so how about you leave? You're just adding on to my stress with your completed course." You shouted at him.
He picked his bag up and slammed the door on his way out, making you flinch a little.
Asshole, that's the only word that came to your head once he left. His temper is very very short. Sometimes you wondered why you dated him and got annoyed at him. You had noticed how nowadays, the way he dealt with you had started changing.
He'd shout and slam doors. He never did that before but he was doing it nowadays. He is definitely bored of you and wants to break up with you, this is what you thought.
He on the other hand was very stressed, it wasn't about studies, it was about his family. After he left for college, he got to know about the fights which happened back at home. His mom and dad were fighting a lot more than when he was back at home. It had driven him off the edge that he wasn't there to stop his parents. He was an only child, so he'd end up persuading them to stop fighting, but he couldn't do it from here, in college. The only person who'd listen to him was getting annoyed at him too, you. He thought that he was the problem, probably everyone around him has problems because of him.
You weren't able to complete your course because Renjun decided to stay the nights in between semester and took you out so much. If he would've told you to study, you'd be revising by now. He forgot that you leave everything for him. He hadn't told you anything about what was happening back at home. He applied to the same college as you because he didn't want to lose you but he slowly understood that he was just a distraction for you.
Renjun didn't speak to you the entire week, and the week after that. You were done with your exams but still no contact or trace of Renjun.
You called him multiple times those weeks but he didn't pick up, knowing that he was probably busy revising, you left him alone. You needed the space.
After your exams were over you went to his shared flat, one of his flatmates saw you in an alleyway and smiled at you. "Mark, have you seen Renjun?"
"Renjun went to college, he must be back by now though." Mark said.
"Ok, thanks."
"If he isn't home, you can just wait on the couch, he'll be back soon I think." Mark said.
You nodded, bidding Mark a goodbye and walking to their apartment. Renjun had told you the password to the apartment, all his flatmates knew that he had a girlfriend and they didn't mind it. They were friendly and got along with you.
When you unlocked the door and got in you saw a girl in the kitchen, around the same age as you.
"Oh Mark you're back?" She said and turned around. "Hello." You said and she smiled at you. "Who are you by the way?" She asked you, the question took you aback.
"I'm Rejun's girlfriend." You said, her mouth formed a small Oh. "What's your Major and Year?"
"I'm a final year in BCom."
"I'm a first in year Mass Media. Oh by the way I'm Mark's girlfriend."  She said and passed a cup of coffee towards you. "Renjun isn't home, how about you wait here till he's back? He said he wanted to get some groceries." Mark's girlfriend said. She was younger than you and Mark. Mark was doing his post graduation and she was in her first year. You and Renjun were the same age.
When Renjun had moved in only Mark was living here, before another guy named, Jeno had moved in. You had found yourself a reasonable one flat apartment but slowly it's cost was rising which was a problem for you, but you kept living in it.
"We're looking for a flatmate." Mark's girlfriend said, trying to break the awkward silence. "Oh, where do you live?"
"The apartment above."
The both of you started talking about college and she told you details about the flat and the empty room. It seemed decent and you thought about it. "Can i see it?" It was a chance to be closer to Renjun, he wouldn't have to commute so much to see you.
Renjun came back home an hour after you had arrived, Mark and his girlfriend kept you entertained. They made you coffee and spoke to you.
When Renjun came home, you saw his red face, which was puffy.
He saw you and stood at the door frozen. Slowly tears started to fall from his eyes and your movements were quick. You ran to him and hugged him. He fell on his knees near the shoe shelves and you hugged him. He cried into your arms and you soothed his back.
"What's wrong Jun?" You asked softly. Instead you got a louder sob for a reply.
His grip around you tightened and he cried for a few minutes before pulling away and pushing your hair back from your face.
"My parents are getting divorced, and i thought i lost you because you lost interest in me-"
"Renjun I love you." You said hands caressing his cheek. "Why didn't you tell me about all this?"
"I didn't want to burden you, and I thought you'd get affected."
"Renjun, if it's bothering you and is a problem to you, it's my problem too." You said smiling at him.
"They've been fighting a lot lately, since i came here."  Renjun looked down at the floor. "I wasn't there to stop them."
"Renjun, its not your fault." You put your hand under his chin and made him look up at you. "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself."
"But I should've been there and because of me you weren't able to complete your course on time, its all my fault."
Your boyfriend who was almost a head taller than you, suddenly seemed like a small lost child who you wanted to coddle and sing to. He looked so troubled and sad that your heart hurt. It wasn't his fault, he blames himself for everything.
You remember the time when you were cutting vegetables and got a slight cut, he blamed himself for it, saying that he knew that you dont know how to use a knife so he should've been the one cutting the vegetables.
He was harsh on himself and as much as you believed you could change it, you couldn't but you wanted to.
"Renjun, its not your fault that i didn't study, it's my fault. That's on me."
"If I hadn't stayed the nights, you'd be done."
"Renjun you stayed over the weekends, i always had weekdays but i ended up wasting them, it's on me." You explained to him.
"What about my parents? That's totally on me. I shouldn't have left them knowing how hostile they are towards each other."
"If they were hostile towards each other did you ever consider that they were both stressed together. They didn't want to be together Renjun."
He finally looked at you, eyes dejected.
"I want to break up with you."
"Why?"
"I'm nothing but a distraction to you."
"You are my driving force. You're like a miracle to me. I wish you could see that."  You connected your foreheads. "You're the person i look forward to each day, knowing you'll provide me comfort and that you'll be there to listen to me."
"And i wish i could show you how much i feel for you, It can't be expressed in words." You whispered, planting a small kiss on his cheek.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on and  for keeping you in the dark." Renjun said.
You nodded. "You're not gonna hear the end of it, they annoyed me so much over the phone about who'll keep the pearls and me." Renjun said. "Honestly, your mom deserves the pearls." You said looking into his eyes.
A small giggle came from his chest. "Yeah she does."
That's when the door opened and Jeno entered. "Renjun, its dirty here-"
"Oh hi Y/N!"  Jeno smiled and waved at you. Mark slowly pulled Jeno, "You're ruining their moment dude." Mark muttered under his breath.
All of you laughed and ate ramen for dinner, enjoying each others company.
"Renjun, Mark's girlfriend told me there's a room upstairs that's empty. I was thinking i should move in there." You said when he brought you to his room.
"Actually, i was about to ask you if you wanna move in together, Mark wants his girlfriend to shift downstairs, we can have the entire apartment to ourselves." Renjun smiled. "Plus my house is closer to our college."
"Yes, I'll move in with you."
New beginnings awaited you two, all full of happiness and sunshine with a few rainy days, but no storm lasts forever, all of them pass, and bring along sunshine again.
Read More: Masterlist
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hops-hunny · 4 years ago
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You’ve Been Dethroned
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Pairing: Hermione x POC!Reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Summary: Hermione goes off in search for who’s replaced her as head student and is surprised at who she finds.
Nothing could describe the look on Hermione’s face when she finally had it confirmed that she had lost her place as top student in all her classes. She had heard the rumors circulating the castle all morning but didn’t worry too much about it because after all, she had been at the top of her class for years. Who could possibly replace her now especially during this time of year? She hadn’t believed it until she heard two professors discussing the matter along the halls. Her face took on a scowl as she recalled the event that she came across only moments ago.
Hermione turned the corner, heading on her way to meet the boys in the library. She was in quite a pleasant mood due to her performance on her recent potions exam. After she excelled on it she found herself thinking 'how on earth could the rumors be true'? She had always been on top and there’s no way she could stop now...or so she thought. “Did you hear about Miss Granger? It was quite a shock to me when Miss (l/n) surpassed her marks.”  she heard Mcgonagall. She watched with wide eyes as her and Hagrid conversed.
“Hermione is a smart gal, but so is (y/n). She’s brilliant. Got like a 6th sense for magical creatures.” He said with a nod. She couldn’t believe it. Her spot was taken by some girl who she didn’t even know? Who was this (y/n) (l/n) anyway? She couldn’t have been in gryffindor cause she had never once heard of her. So, who was she?
Hermione held that thought as she walked into the library. The anger and frustration was radiating off of her causing many people to stare as she stormed over to where Harry and Ron sat. They both looked up at her as she made her way over, giving each other a shared look. As she neared, they both pretended to be working on their essays. She slammed her books on the table, gathering the attention of both her friends and a brief but harsh ‘shh!’ from Madam Pince. “Bloody hell ‘Mione, what’s up your arse today?” Ron said, causing Harry to kick his shin under the table.
She rolled her eyes glaring at him. “I know you’ve heard about...argh! I can't even begin to fathom what happened. Merlin, I’ve worked so hard for the past 4 years just to be replaced by some dimwit.” She said, opening up her ancient runes book, trying to concentrate on the pages. After she realized she had read the same sentence at least 4 times, she closed her book with a sigh, glancing up at her friends.
“(L/n) is actually pretty nice, Hermione. Especially for a slytherin." Harry said, recalling the few times he had spoken to her. He offered her a soft smile in hopes the small gesture would provide some ease of mind to her.
"Yeah and besides, she clearly couldn't be that dim-witted if she passed you in not just one but all of your courses." Ron chuckled out, which was shortly interrupted by Harry kicking him again. Hermione shot him a glare, taking what her friends said into consideration. Her curiosity was starting to get the best of her. Who was this girl? It was obvious the house difference is why she had never noticed her. 
“Of course she’s a slytherin. She probably did this on purpose! Do you know where I may find her at this time?” She asked, packing her things. She was quite determined at this point to find this abstruse girl who had risen as the most “intelligent” in the castle. She had told herself that it wouldn’t come to this and that she wouldn’t hyperfixate on it. She didn’t have to be the best, did she? She knew how smart she was and that should have been enough. However, the nagging in the back of her mind said otherwise.
“You’re not serious are you? Merlin ‘Mione! Just let the girl have it, I don’t see why it’s such a big deal.” Ron shook his head, sighing as he finished his statement. He looked up at his friend and as they locked eyes, he knew she was being quite serious. As most things were, she wasn’t going to let this go until she got into the bottom of it. Him and Harry looked at each other before both coming to the same conclusion.
“She usually hangs around the quidditch pitches. But I don’t think that’s a...good idea.” He sighed, shaking his head. Hermione was already out of the library by the time he could finish what he was saying. That girl was as stubborn as she was smart.
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As Hermione neared the area, she asked a few wondering students where she was. Most of them gave her an odd look, others shrugging because they simply didn’t know. She finally got the answer she was looking for, heading to the stands trying not to get in the way of the ongoing practice that was there. She scoured the stands eagerly in search of the girl, finally coming across..her? She let out an audible gasp as she looked up at her. This couldn’t be the girl, could it? She took in her appearance causing her blood to boil. The girl had a mess of (h/l) (h/c) hair on her head, her tie hung loosely around her shirt, which was untucked and half unbuttoned. She had her papers scattered around in which Hermione could only describe as ‘disorganized chaos’. She was currently laughing about something with two slytherin girls, Daphne Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson. As Hermione neared the girl, they all turned their attention to her.
“Ah Hermione, to what do I owe the pleasure?” she said adding a smug smile. Hermione felt her cheeks heat up at the gesture. She couldn’t deny, there was some charm to the messiness of her appearance. She looked her up and down, noticing the way her brown skin gleamed beautifully in the sunlight before clearing her throat. She couldn’t forget what she had come to do.
“Don’t play coy, (L/n). How did you do it? Did you cheat? Cause it appears to me you’re just goofing around most of the time.” She snapped, standing directly in front of the girl. (Y/n) rolled her eyes and scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. She leaned forward, their faces close together. Hermione’s cheeks flushed at the action as she tried to remain composure.
“Although that was very forward and rude of you, I'm going to give you a pass because of how lovely you are. But to answer your question, no, I didn’t cheat. You don’t have a stick up your ass constantly to be good at something. Yeah, I do slack off a lot but it’s all in good fun. I’m quite serious about my studies.” She said softly, her eyes flickered to the girls lips for a second as a thought crossed her mind. She reached forward slightly tucking a few strands of loose hair behind Hermione’s ear. “I’d be happy to show you a few of my studying tricks sometime though.”
Hermione was quite taken back. Her heart beat so loud that she was surprised no one could hear. She couldn’t deny the girl was beautiful. Entrancing dark brown eyes, each strain of curly hair coiled perfectly. She usually found herself being quite brave. She was the girl who always had a quick witted response but she was stumped. She didn’t trust her voice at the moment so she opted for a nod. (Y/n) smiled.
“I guess it’s a date then!” she said. She thought for a second before pecking the gryffindor's cheek. Hermione’s cheeks were red as poppies at this action, quite stunned. She brought her hand up to her cheek, feeling the gloss coat the tip of her fingers. Yy/n) winked at her before turning back to her conversation with her friends. Hermione began to walk off, not even bothering to meet Harry and Ron back in the library. Instead, she wandered back to her dormitory in a state of dazed wonder.
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“So let me get this straight, you started to put extra effort into your studies just to get my attention?! Why didn’t you just, I don’t know, talk to me like a normal person?” Hermione giggled, stroking her girlfriend's head in her lap. It was a nice spring day so the two had decided to take their studying near the lake instead of the stuffiness of the library. Usually they’d get a lot done but (y/n) had been feeling very affectionate this particular day. So, in turn, their books had been long forgotten and tossed to this side. 
“Well, I had to do something big, something grand. I wanted to impress you.” (y/n) said as she flipped onto her back, reaching up to caress her girlfriend’s cheek. “That and I knew you’d be too bloody stubborn to actually talk to me. Even Merlin himself couldn’t get you to communicate with any slytherins.” she giggled as she finished her statement. Hermione gasped, smacking her girlfriend on the shoulder which caused her to giggle more.
 The gryffindor’s eyes held a mischievous glint to them as she got an idea. She picked the sun kissed girl up bridal style before running over to the lake and throwing her in. She laughed as the girl floated back up to the top gasping as she looked at her counterpart. (y/n) quickly grabbed her arm dragging her in with her.
So much for a study date.
A/N: Hey guys this is my first imagine so please lmk if you enjoyed it! I have a few more things that I’m working on currently.
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anonymous-swiftie · 4 years ago
Text
If you are on twitter, please retweet this:
https://twitter.com/ASwiftie00/status/1334245577933148164?s=19
Dear #Swifties,
I'm new on tumblr, and I really don't know how to use it.
I know you are the best supporters of the music industry and I'm here to ask your help.
I'm fighting with a crippling depression, that due this covid situation just got worse.
I'm at my lowest, I truly don't know if I will make it through this time.
I always dreamed to talk to Taylor, since I was a teenager. She is the only one that make me feel like I do fit in this world.
I've created this account because I know she is very active here, and I'm trying to reach her with this part of my story.
You can read everything below.
I didn't write any personal information because I don't want this to be seen by my family or somebody that can recognise me.
I don't want upset anyone.
I know that everyone hope to meet or chat with her, and so you are probably wondering why you have to share this here.
You're totally right, maybe it's a stupid idea to ask you this, but I haven't anything left in my pocket to fight this situation, and you're my only hope right now.
Thank you.
#taylor #swift
*******************************************
Dear Taylor,
I keep writing and deleting this, over and over again.
I feel so dumb to write my personal story here, but this truly is my last chance to feel better and try to overcome this giant monster called depression.
I genuinly don't know if I can make it through this year. It's the worst period of my entire life and i don't even know if it's worth living this hell anymore.
I know you have millions of supporters (that probably write you every single day, and they are all better fans than I am, that's for sure) but I know that you proved, time after time, to be so down to earth and to use your time to read your fans messages.. so, in this moment, I'm just trying to share a part of my story with you.
You are the one that make feel understood, since I was like 13teen.
I'm so sorry if my English isn't very good but I'll do my best.
I'm not very active on social media , because I'm very shy when I have to talk about myself.. but If this could work, I must do it.
I will try to send a letter, If I can find the strength to mark this feeling on paper.
**IF I'M WRITING TO SOMEBODY FROM HER STAFF, PLEASE JUST LET THIS MESSAGE REACH TAYLOR**
I'll try now to resume, because I don't want to bother you too much.
This has been a crazy year so far, and the all the time I spent by myself during the lockdown didn't help at all.
This situation brought me back to childhood.
I spent a lot of my days back and forth in hospitals, due to my allergies.
I had to wear a mask all the time I wanted to go outside to avoid severe allergic reaction (that's why this Covid thing awakened some hurting memories)
I didn't have real friends back then, 'cause I've spent most of the summers at home, watching other kids playing around, from my window, or from the windows of my classroom.
It was so hard to make new friends, because the only thing that other kids saw was my mask.
I was the masked kid.
I was the strange kid.
I couldn't play with them.
Everytime I tried to play with them, the only thing I heard was "oh you are ill , I don't wanna be like you so stay away".
This situation made me start to write things in my personal diary.
I wrote small sentences, as a kid, and that was the only thing I could do alone inside an empty classroom during all summer.
This situation continued  for many years.
I wasn't the cool kid before, I wasn't the cool guy after.
The only things that let me enjoy those days were writing and listening to your songs.
I started to listen to your music thanks to my English teacher. She was a fan of folk and country music and she gave me a pic in which you were singing near a lake (I still have that photo somewhere, I strongly remember the white banner with your name written in red on it) and told me to listen to the cd she gave me that day.
I immediately fell in love (I think I still have a crush on you, I'm sorry).
I loved your album. I loved your voice. I loved the lyrics.
I remember having a "test" in school: each one of the class had to write their favourite lyrics and let the others guess the song.
If the someone guessed It, We could play the cd.
I chose Love Story and I translated it in Italian.
The class guessed the song, and I played it.
After the lunch break I went back to my desk and I saw some bullies that were breaking my cd-album and they started to laugh at me because I loved your music an I loved writing poems.
I was a boy so I was a loser because I enjoyed those things.
That felt terrible, but I continued to love your songs even more .
Those were my inspiration to write and to study english.
I felt so good when I listened to your album and this still happens.
Then I went to a private high-school.
Nothing changed, I still was the nerd guy that always got good grades and I have to say that the first year was quite good, but the second year was the start of the apocalypse.
I choose that school because two girls that I knew from childhood went there.
One of the cool new guys started to spread a fake "news" about me.
He said to everyone that I was the boyfriend of one of the two girls that I mentioned before.
So he was the cool guy and one of the girls believed him and told me to f*** myself.
The other girl was her best friend, so you could imagine by what happened next.
After 14 year spent together, I was nobody.
I didn't have "friends" in that class anymore.
I didn't say hello to anybody for 4 years, and nobody would say anything to me.
Nobody to talked with me.
That's great when you're a teenager.
I hated to wake up every morning.
I had an eating disorder, I lost like 22pounds in less than a month. Got hospitalized twice. I kept vomiting for 3 years, every single morning before school.
During that time I only talked with one of my cousins, who lived like 2 hours by car from me.
He was older than me but he always tried to help.
He knew that I loved to write poems so he started to give me guitar lessons.
I made it through a lot of things thanks to him.
I'm sorry, It's hard for me to write this part of the story.
I still get emotional when I think about this.
On the 10TH of December 2013 (some days after his birthday) we received a phone call from his mother: She warned us that he didn't return home after the last working shift.
I wrote a message to him like 3 hours prior to that phone call.
Never had the opportunity to get a reply again.
This year is the seventh year that he is missing.
That destroyed me.
I felt empty.
I felt like nothing couldn't help me.
I still feel that everytime I care about someone in my life, it will disappear someday.
This have happened several other times.
You know when ignorants say that men don't cry, is real bullshit. Men cry. I cried a lot.
I wrote so many poems , lyrics, thoughts in that period of time, that I destroyed my hands.
That was the only way to close my eyes and let me reach another reality because the real one was way too much for me.
Be a sensible man in this world is somehow a curse.
All these things made me afraid  even to hug someone 'cause I feel I'm too ugly or just to scared to be refused.
I will stop here my story, but there's so much more to tell.
I make it through all of these things and memories because I keep dreaming that one day I could meet you and we could talk together.
Dreaming about the fact I could spend a day with you made me find the power to battle my depression.
I'm 25 now and this year I'm not dreaming anymore.
I was going to start again university, I wanted to get a degree in marketing and have the chance to live in the us.
For years I believed that I would make it and hopefully be part of your marketing team.
I'm so stupid. All these years I kept dreaming to avoid pain.
I wanted to pursue my passion and continue to write lyrics but all I was doing was putting myself in unrealistic realities.
This covid situation made everything clear.
When everyone had someone to facetime (or video call) I was alone.
When everyone had someone asking them "how are you?" I only had myself looking in the mirror saying: "Will I ever feel better?"
I've never been the one for anybody, and I think I'll never be.
I won't be the one among all your fans to realize his dream.
Nobody likes me, and I'm exposing myself once again just because I want the opportunity to smile at something that could happen to me.
I'm tired to smile only for others best moments.
I've always seen the sun through a window.
I want to feel happy.
I want to burn my face with the sun.
I'm so sick of hiding my pain,
sick to cry when I'm alone in my car before going to work,
sick to let my eyes rain on my pillow every night.
I'm sick to say to my mother that I'm fine, just because I don't want to make her feel bad.
It's not her fault.
She is battling with a degenerative autoimmune disease, why I should put other weight on her shoulders?
I didn't give up to my weakness before because I don't want to hurt her.
I always say to her that soon she will feel better, that's why your song It's stuck in my head.
But when she won't be here anymore, how I can go through all of that?
I don't even know if will ever get better for me.
Will this pain ever stop?
Sometimes it's so hard to live and so easy to die.
Hope that my dream to spend some time with you can become true.
Thank you for everything, you gave me the strength to go on for many years.. But this time is so hard to put on my armor and continue this battle.
But is this even worth if thy I try to surround myself with people and I always feel lonely?
D.
@taylorswift @taylornation @jackleopards-thedolphinclub
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