#but i cant rn it hurts! but it thankfully didnt get worse so i should b back at it soon

[gaemms-chamois]

prepping for winesday. detective ines and phantom thief w back again

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent personal medical long post

Im so fucking sick of being in such bad back pain, nothing is going right for me

I was ready to go to the store for groceries bright and early, but I have to wait for a medication delivery which usually comes between 10-12. This means I have to be sitting downstairs the entire time, since I physically cannot reach the door fast enough if im in my upstairs room. (Even when I'm not injured, its been a problem!)

My mom, grandpa, and I all need the store. But I can't go, even if we take two trips (mom takes grandpa, comes back and takes me), because in the past when we had to do this, granpda decided to go hang out in the garage and not notice the delivery. So i HAVE to be home and ready until it arrives.

Its fucking bullshit that the online pharmacy REQUIRES signature for delivery (they didnt for my first couple shipments, ive been on this med for a while now). Its an ability issue because the delivery people dont wait around more than like 30 seconds. Its a convenience issue because then I have to block out my whole day just in case they come late. (I took a chance and made a phone appointment for 240pm).

So i wait all fucking day. 240 rolls around (my mom downstairs said shed listen for the delivery) and id been waiting in the only place i Know gets cell reception in my room and i dont get the call. 15 minutes later, I get a voicemail notif. Fucking great. I never got the call because i live in a fucking deadzone. I have to get up and lean over my counter and plants to get mildly better reception by the window (i am injured and this was extremely painful for my back). Appointment finished thankfully, but i didnt tell the psych how bad i am rn, because i did not have the energy to stand at the window longer than needed to get refills.

Still no delivery. My mom takes grandpa to the store. My back is all aggravated from sitting on the hard/no back support chairs downstairs all day (i cant go to the couch because its too hard to get up from while im hurting/its hard even when im not hurting because its got the footstool added onto it so its like as long as a bed)

So i sit downstairs more while crying because the pain is getting worse, but no one else was home so i had to. They return and my mom is like 'okay lemme take you now' uh, no!! Grandpa isnt gonna sit around for it. And also. Im hurting way too much, i physically cannot go to a grocery store at this point after sitting with no back support all day and twisting over my plants for the phone.

Mom says shell listen for the door again bc i cannot sit downstairs any more. I get maybe 5 minutes and my back starts to relax a little and my mom comes and goes 'i gotta go get gas so i cant listen for the door'

FUCK, MAN. WHY DIDNT YOU DO IT WHILE YOU GOT GROCERIES?! To top it off, she pushed in the chair i was sitting in (its extremely painful to twist! So pulling it out to sit is super hard for me!) I sit there and its unfuckingbearable i see a ups truck drive around our private street and leave, so theyre probably not coming today, and im in excruciating pain so i go back to my room crying and shaking lmao

My mom gets annoyed with me for complaining about the chair (AGAIN!) And rolls her eyes when i say she shouldve got gas before, like

Fuck off man i am in such bad pain i should be in the fucking er right now

If id known id be downstairs all day i wouldve taken a pain killer but its too fucking late in the day for me to take one now because i gotta take 2 different sleeping meds to get any sleep at all and i dont want them to interact

I fucking hate everything about this man

Oh, and i was gonna contact verizon support about being in a deadzone but it was like "lets fix dropped calls. We recommend: Call us now!" DID YOU NOT SEE THE PART ABOUT DROPPED CALLS. The only other option was to instant message and i dont have the spoons for that right now, i just wanted to send like an email ticket or something

Im supposed to be in a 5g area but its literally a deadzone in my whole house and property, no bars of reception at all, and this isnt a mountainous part of town! Ughhhh

I hate not having the ability to do all of this normally, having an injury is making everything Nightmare Mode difficulty. Having tmj treatment (teeth aligners and mouth guard) is making eating a Nightmare Mode task. Even chewing soft ramen was excruciating. I cant physically cook because of my back and im out of easy food (see: planned grocery trip for today which never happened) so its like. Okay. Guess im not having dinner. Especially not after how badly my back got aggravated today.

And guess what. Im gonna have to do it all again tomorrow now since the delivery isnt gonna happen today. Ill take a painkiller tomorrow, but the uncomfortable chairs is a fact of life i will not be able to escape, since i HAVE to be able to reach the door in like 30 seconds.

All of this couldve been prevented if theyd just let me get a no signature delivery. Its a private street no one comes all the way up to our house, like the only mail theft we had was at the mailboxes on the main street (before we got a locked one).

I COULD call the pharmacy next time to ask, but then were back to the issue of trying to make a phonecall from this house! I had issues last month where i couldnt log in to order my rx because they wanted 2fa and because i live in a dead zone i couldnt get the confirmation texts or calls! It SUCKS. (And i cant do wifi calling because our internet is shit and has like a 5 second lag)

Life has been so fucking miserable for me for like the past 2 months and the last 2 weeks have been even worse because of my back going out and its not getting better.

I cant get into physical therapy because the local place isnt accepting new patients! So like. Thats great. Dunno what i can do about that since i cant go out of town.

Im seeing the chiro but i couldnt get in today because i had the rx delivery and phone appointment lmao (also i was really hurting after the last visit)

Guess im just supposed to suffer lmao

This shit is fucking ridiculous and im so sick of it

The sad thing is that it could be worse. Its been a few months since my last endo flare up and i havent been able to stop worrying about that looming spectre either

That really would be the fucking cherry on top lmao

But the back injury situation is sadder because its something that CAN be treated, its just that treatment is unattainable for me due to living in a small rural town and not having a car. I dunno if i even could drive in this much pain tbh its hard enough being a passenger

So thats my vent. Things really fucking suck for me rn. I just want today to be over. Im in too much pain.