#but i cant have a goddamn chocolate bar that doesnt taste like shit

[rxttenfish]

just kind of fucking losing my mind here going insane and getting worse and worse and not understanding why im having these reactions

ive basically lost all pleasure for food or. anything. really. so i just tend not to eat because i get nothing from it and most food tastes disgusting and inedible and at best it tastes like Nothing. and recently i HAVE been craving chocolate which is spectacular because i finally found a type of chocolate that actually tastes good again and not just like disgusting slop. but the only place that has it is an hour ago. and i cant drive.

so i ask my family to tell me when were going to that city again (because were rural) and then they just. dont. dont tell me. so i cant wake up in time for them to tell me theyre going or get ready to go myself or have any chance of going and getting it myself. and i tell them to please just get me the stupid chocolate then. and i swear they maliciously go out of their way to avoid getting it just going to the same store or even GETTING CHOCOLATE OF THE SAME BRAND THAT I CANT EAT (ITS NOT EVEN A SPECIAL KIND I JUST WANT THE NORMAL ASS MILK CHOCOLATE). and theyve been doing this for two months and getting more and more snide when i ask about it or wondering why i cant just eat other chocolate or why im getting upset at all.

and im just so out of it lately and it happened again today and i dont even feel like i can be upset because its such a small petty thing and just. aaaaaaaAAAAAAAA.