#but i cannot ignore the blatant favoritism he showed dan over jenny and how that must have made her feel

[waldorfhistoria]

Man, this wonderful Jenny meta I reblogged has me thinking SO many thoughts, especially about the Dan-Jenny dynamic and this line in particular:

“one scene that stands out to me is when jenny steals the dress in season one and dan goes into talk to her and it’s so clear he’s had to take on somewhat of a parental role with her since their mom has been gone? and i’m sure that’s frustrating for both jenny and for dan. but despite taking on this role of care, he doesn’t treat her condescendingly or with any ire, he tries to be understanding and careful and thoughtful where rufus couldn’t be.” - @buffyspeak

And one of the things that’s so fascinating to me about the relationship dynamic between Dan and Jenny is that they essentially have about four different styles of sibling relationships, all nestled into their one.

At times, especially towards the beginning of the show, Dan and Jenny have a fairly “typical” big brother/little sister dynamic - Jenny is teasing and affectionately annoying towards Dan, Dan is teasing and affectionately exasperated towards Jenny, but they ultimately look out for and try to protect/take care of one another the way that siblings do. But there’s a shift, I think, when Alison leaves - Rufus is suddenly acting as a single father, and Dan is put in the position where he not only needs to look out for Jenny as her big brother, but as a pseudo-mother of sorts - he’s the one who ends up playing mediator between Rufus and Jenny’s growing conflicts, who tries to give her the advice and guidance that she’s not getting from either of her actual parents, and is even the one who Rufus, at times, turns to to talk out the parenting decisions he makes in relation to Jenny. Which brings up another facet of their dynamic that only grows as the show goes on and Jenny starts to struggle more and more - the golden child and the “problem” child.

One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of the Rufus discourse really hinges on whether a fan is paying more attention to Dan as a character or to Jenny, because the Rufus in Dan’s story is often a very different figure than the Rufus in Jenny’s. Dan’s Rufus is a compassionate, loving, fair-minded dad, who affords Dan a level of respect and independence while also upholding strong moral values he expects his son to live up to. Jenny’s Rufus, on the other hand, is a far more controlling and at times almost immature figure, sometimes fighting with Jenny like a peer rather than a parent - a father who fails to offer his daughter the same respect and understanding he affords his son. And while none of this is Dan’s fault, how can Jenny not be a little resentful of it, of him - that Dan is treated like a person while Jenny is often made to feel like more of a project.

And yet, in spite of that, I would argue there’s another dimension of their relationship that probably plays a key role in keeping them close as the series wears on - Dan and Jenny as childhood friends. This is something that I feel doesn’t come up in the show enough but is still interesting in light of the way their dynamic evolves - based on what we know of their upbringing, it doesn’t seem like Dan and Jenny had a lot of other friends coming into the Upper East Side. I mean, we’re told that pretty explicitly with Dan, given that Vanessa seems to be the only other person he’s really close to outside of his family, prior to dating Serena. But it seems like Jenny didn’t really have any other close friends herself - at least no one close enough to stay in touch with after she moves from public school to private. It seems like - especially in the space of time that Vanessa was living in Vermont - Dan and Jenny were likely each other’s two closest friends, and I think considering how enmeshed their later social circles become, that adds an interesting nuance as well. Dan isn’t just Jenny’s big brother, he’s also her sister and sometimes her mother and kind of her rival and always her longtime friend.