#but i am evil cackling while uploading it at the same time

[kumiwrites]

chapter 41 is up, please dont kill me

Idyllic

Sometimes, you found yourself thinking back to your picturesque life in Soul Society before your Captain, Tosen, had defected.

He had left you and Shuhei to pick up the pieces of the Ninth Division, but you found yourself picking up pieces of Shuhei, too, as your relationship fell apart. So, you ran. You ran, and you took refuge in the comfort of the World of the Living.

Sometimes, you wished you could return to those halcyon days.

Pairing(s): Hitsugaya Toshiro x Reader Genre: Fluff, angst, friends-to-lovers, slow burn Warning(s): Eventual smut, character death, blood, violence A/N: I’ve been working on this fic on and off for just over three years now, and I’m slowly putting it all together. I hold it pretty close to my heart because I actually love some of the scenes that I’ve written for later chapters, and I’ve always wanted to write a slow burn Toshiro fic, hehe. I also worked super hard on making this banner bc I had to make it transparent myself and it took literally forever LOL. 

AO3 Link

[renaerys]

Okay I've got one: Prompt 15 with Reds. 🤣🤣🤣

15. “I can’t hear a word you’re saying, I just keep thinking about how good that mouth feels.”

Somehow they can make even breathing a competition.

Send me a prompt and some characters! Reminder that the challenge is to make everything SFW, so we're getting creative here.

List of prompts

xxx

“So, we’ve called the paramedics and they’re on their way, but until they arrive it’s up to us. Remember the acronym, kids: C-A-B. What’s the first thing you do?”

Aiyeesha Simpson, a gunner in the making destined for academic greatness and social ruin, raised her eager hand. “Find a flat surface to lay him down!”

“Correct.” Blossom took Brick by the shoulders and shoved him down to the floor. A gaggle of Girl Scouts gathered around him as he wheezed for air.

“Ow,” he said.

Blossom patted his chest. “Please choke more quietly.”

I will end you, he thought so loudly he hoped she could hear him through the murder in his eyes. There was community service, and then there was cruel and unusual punishment. When his required hours were up and his record expunged, he was going to write a very negative Yelp review of the local Townsville Girls Scouts of America chapter and tank this year’s cookie sales. Supremely annoying, outrageously petty, and totally legal. That would teach Blossom for sure.

“Place your hands here between the nipples.”

Some of the Cadette Girl Scouts giggled. To be fair, Blossom of all people saying the word nipples in reference to her former mortal enemy as she trained a room full of twelve-year-old girls in CPR using him as the dummy was a perfect storm of absurd and kinky that he did not see coming. And now he was giggling himself, because he was a teenaged boy who thought the word nipples was funny regardless of the very clear contextual cues, and that pubescent shame was on him, one hundred percent.

Blossom, an ancient and inconveniently attractive evil resurrected in a lab for the sole purpose of making his life miserable, did not appreciate his amusement. “Push hard at a rate of 100 to 120 compressions per minute. Remember to put your bodyweight behind it, like this.”

Brick flexed, and Blossom pushed against his heart like she was trying to crush it in her hands. Once, twice, three times she administered compressions, and Brick’s eyes glowed red with impotent rage.

“Assist Blossom with her CPR lessons to her satisfaction, and we can forget this ever happened,” Mayor Bellum had promised Brick when he lost his temper and blew up an (empty) ambulance. Butch didn’t need his Super stomach pumped no matter how much he drank, so the ambulance and the four-figure bill that came with it were completely unnecessary. This defense did not convince the mayor, however.

The promise of the bill forgiven and his record cleared—and the deterrence of Aiyeesha Simpson filming the whole thing to upload to YouTube later—gave Brick the strength not to eye beam Blossom in front of the children.

“Okay, who wants to try chest compressions on the dummy?” Blossom offered to the girls.

You evil bitch, thought the aforementioned dummy.

After the third little girl properly placed her sticky, little girl hands between his nipples, Brick had had enough. “Hey, I’m still dying over here. Can we move on already? Jesus Christ.”

“Of course.” Blossom smiled, and she had never looked more terrifying.

Brick hoped Butch was suffering. He hoped he was hung over so bad he couldn’t piss standing up. He hoped Butch tried going online only to find that Brick had disconnected the Internet and cut him off from all his online games and porn because fuck Butch and his weak-ass stomach.

“Who knows what the next step is? Maybe someone other than Aiyeesha this time?”

None of the other girls seemed willing to stick their hands up. The carpet under Brick had scorched where his power leaked out in his building resentment for this entire situation. The smell of burned polyester just made him feel even more powerless to stop this.

“No? Okay, well, remember the acronym. A is for airway. You want to be careful about a possible neck injury, so gently lift the chin…”

Blossom’s hands were not sticky like the Girl Scouts’ hands, but they were cold where they touched his skin and forced his head back.

“Are the paramedics here yet?”

Brick got a tight fist in his short hair for that one, and he considered it a small victory. “No. Something about a shortage of ambulances, apparently.”

Biiiiiiiitch.

God, he was going to destroy her so bad.

“Once you’ve cleared the airway and confirmed there are no obstructions—”

“Then you kiss!”

Some girls picked up the giggling again. Blossom, ever the professional, cleared her throat. “Mouth to mouth is a life-saving procedure and not something I’d recommend doing to someone you plan to kiss.”

Wow, great advice.

Some girls still giggled and whispered to each other. Brick had a sinking feeling that this was only going to end with his embarrassment: everyone knew that the cold judgment of pre-pubescent girls was the absolute worst type of judgment a person could suffer.

“Are you gonna show us?”

“Well, I don’t think I need to show you all how to breathe—”

“It’s in the manual! You have to demonstrate every step.” Aiyeesha waved the CPR manual, and Brick realized his misjudgment. She was no vapid goody two-shoes in the making, but a future Honors Student with a secret, a Work Hard Party Harder, an Ivy League Early Decision candidate with all of senior spring semester to slack off because no one was ever going to touch her 4.3 GPA.

Aiyeesha beamed a winning smile at Brick, and it was as chilling as Blossom’s.

Jesus Christ, there are two of them.

True to form, Blossom had never been able to defy a good instructions manual. “I suppose if it says so in the manual…”

Locking lips with Blossom was not a big deal. He’d done it before when they were kids, and he could appreciate the irony of a gesture meant to save his life this time rather than end it. She didn’t even try to mess with him by using her ice breath, just went through the motions as described in the instructions. The girls were disappointed with the lack of hormonal fanfare of it all, which was probably for the best. Leave it to Blossom to make mouth to mouth the sexless, medical act it was literally intended to be. He was almost upset, because it felt like she’d won something here, which could only mean he’d lost.

Disappointed but more educated than they’d been when they’d arrived two hours ago, the Girl Scouts dispersed after the lesson, leaving Blossom and Brick to put away the equipment they’d used.

She held a dummy torso, and she was looking at him with that pinched, constipated look she got when she was about to say something especially snobby. Instead, she surprised him. “Brick, thanks for being mature about it. I can honestly say you surprised me.”

He stared at her.

“I’ll talk to Mayor Bellum. I’m sure you’ve done enough to meet your hours quota.”

He had not fulfilled even half of his required community service hours and they both knew it.

“So yeah, thanks. I can finish up here if you want to leave.”

Was she trying to get rid of him? Why?

“Brick? Why are you looking at me like that?”

When Blossom was winning, he was losing. That was simply the way of the world. So, if she was losing, it could only mean he was winning.

“Are you listening to me?”

Brick smiled in what he hoped was a cool, sexy way if he imagined looking at anyone but Blossom. “I can’t hear a word you’re saying. I just keep thinking about how good that mouth feels.”

Blossom stared. “I’m sorry?”

He would make her sorry.

“Yeah, you’re a great teacher. I could really feel your passion for demonstrating the lesson correctly. With your mouth.”

Her staring intensified. “Did you.”

“Oh, yeah.” He leaned his hip against the table like he’d seen in the movies. It worked for Daniel Craig in Casino Royale, and that guy had convinced Eva Green. Iconic. “I could really feel you trying to save me.”

Where was Aiyeesha with her phone to film this? There was so little he could do to rattle Blossom as they got older, and while the challenge delighted him, it was also exhausting being constantly a step behind her. Was this truly her demise? Had he won the Teenage Experience? Was this poetic justice for how she’d once killed him with a mere kiss, only to suffer the same fate in turn? He could have cackled. This was better than trolling the Girl Scouts of America reviews, although he might still do that because it was a genius idea and he had always indulged his own genius ideas when they came to him.

So infatuated was he with his own self-fellating digression that he was slow to react to Blossom sidling up to him. Her hand was still cold on his chin, and it sent a shiver down his spine. “Shall I save you again?”

Brick’s dignity drained with his blood, which was an unfortunate side-effect of being a teenaged boy that he would just have to suffer. But winning was about recognizing one’s weaknesses and working around them. He leaned into her personal space. “Please.”

He wasn’t sure who kissed who first, but it was happening and all he could think was I am better at this than you and I hate you and also Do that again. He tried holding her waist, and she fought back with her fingers in his hair. Not one to be deterred, Brick tried some tongue but pulled back when he tasted thirty degrees below zero. He immediately went back in because he could feel her superiority, her Got you, you horny idiot, but the joke was on her because he liked her cold, always had when it was hot as balls out and he’d make up any excuse to pick a fight with her just for the chance to cool off.

The Girl Scout troop leader walked in on them competitively making out in the classroom like it was an Olympic sport and put an end to things, leaving them at a frustrating draw for now. They said barely a word to each other when Brick glared at the troop leader so bad she flustered and didn’t even question them before running out of there with some excuse about getting the wrong room.

Later that evening, Brick caved and changed the Internet password back just so Butch would quit whining at him. He Googled kissing techniques and spent the next hour and a half watching YouTube videos and reading GQ articles about How to Please Her Like a Champion, because he was a champion and a winner and he was not going to lose to Blossom in this. Not a chance.

This had to be what they meant when they said kill with kindness.

“I’m going to end you,” he muttered to himself as he read about the top ten highest voted movie kissing scenes, which he would then stream and commit to memory in order to be fully armed and armored for the next time he encountered Blossom alone in a classroom. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe during their shared free period.

Truly, he had the most genius ideas.

xxx

If you enjoy my writing, check out more of my fics on AO3, link in my profile. I’m currently updating Trinity House and The Alchemy of Us. Thanks for reading!

[trashyswitch]

Slowly Finding The Light Again

Jack had been dealing with chronic illnesses and physical health issues as of the last year. And Gab has ridden alongside him through all of it. Today, she tries to show her love and affection by being all playful and lovey-dovey.

TW: Some implied depression.

Though most of you will know, Jack has been going through a lot for '15 months', as the video had presented. This was my personal way of processing the video, processing his absence and showing my love to the guy. Even if he doesn't see it, I still want him to know that I understand and I'm thinking about you, Sean. <3

Jack had been feeling down and out of the loop for months and months now. He felt like the world was passing by without him, and he both hated it, and loved it. He liked the thought of being an observer of an internet world without him. But...all he’d been getting were texts asking where he was. ‘Is he dead or something?’ and ‘I hope he’s doing okay’ are generally what people are sending him. And wishes for the future. Plenty of those. It was people like him that made him feel terrible for leaving YouTube so abruptly and without little notice.

Jack had recently uploaded the video ‘15 months’ to show cinematically what he’d been going through. It represented the nightmares he’s had every night, the numbers of pills he’s taking and the asthma inhalers he needs more than ever, to try and simply breathe. It’s been a terrible time for his mental and physical health. Truth be told, his whole world felt...shitty, I guess.

The only good thing going for him right now, was Gab. Gab had been staying by his side through it all. Gab was his best and only friend through this whole situation...The hard part is that he fears he may have lost Mark and Ethan...And he knows the Irish lads probably miss him...It’s been a while since he’d done an Irish Lads video with them...and without him, an Irish Lads episode couldn’t be made…

Jack and Gab were sitting across from each other, on their phones. Gab was probably looking at Twitter or some other social media, while Jack was catching up with Kevin and Dan. Soon, a text showed up on the top of his screen:

[Hey Sean]

It was from Gab...Who was only 2 feet away from him.

Jack chuckled at this and swiped down to reply.

[You could just talk, you know.]

Gab smiled. “I know, but I didn’t know if you would hear me.” She admitted. “Plus, I feel playful.”

Evelien: [5…]

He raised an eyebrow. “Whaaaat are you planning?” He asked.

Evelien: [4…]

Sean looked at her. “You’re not even gonna count down using your words?!” Jack asked.

“No.” She replied.

[2…]

Jack widened his eyes. “Oh shit…”

[Better run~]

Jack bit his lip, but didn’t run.

[1.]

Gab got up from her seat and tackled Jackie to the ground. “HEHEY! What are you even doing?” Jack asked.

“Playing with you!” Gab replied, tickling his left side lightly. “You’ve been so down lately, and I thought some tickling might make you feel a little better and more human again.”

Jack giggled and hissed while he laughed. “Eheheheheveeee!”

“I’m not Evelien, or Evie, anymore.” Gab smirked as she moved her fingers across his belly and slowly to his right side. “Iiiii’m the tickle monster!”

She leaned in and blew a raspberry onto his right side.

“AaaAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FUCKIN’ HEHEHEHEHELL!” Jack laughed loudly.

“Tickle tickle tickle Jackie! Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle Jackie Boy! Not so tough now, huh?” She teased as she tickled and squeezed Jack’s side.

“SHUHUHUHUT UHUHUHUP!” Jack ordered.

Gab gasped and covered her mouth. “How DARE you?! Telling your girlfriend to shut up?! You should know better!” Gab teased, pretending to be offended.

Jack was giggling. “Ahahahaw, can’t handle a little fihihihighter?” he teased.

“That’s it.” Gab started squeezing Jack’s right side, and blew a big, juicy raspberry onto the top of his right side at the same time.

“OHOHOHOHO FAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IHIHIT’S SOHOHOHO BAHAHAHAHAD!” Jack cackled.

“Oooooh! Poor Jackie can’t handle the tickle tickle tickles from the tickle monster! Such a shaaaame!” She teased again.

“YOHOHOU’RE MEHEHEHEHEHEAN!” Jack told her.

“Wow! You must really need a lot of tickles if you’re still insulting me!” She reacted. This time, Gab started squeezing and digging into both sides, while she nibbled and nommed on his right side at the same time. “OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM! OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!”

Jack’s back arched a little as he shouted out a super loud- “OHSHIT NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!”

Yeah...that.

“Are you regretting all your moments of backtalk from the tickle monster?” She teased, acting like an evil older sister to Jack.

“COHOHOHOHOME OHOHOHON! MEHEHEHERCYHYHYHYHYHY!” Jack begged, flailing his arms around wildly.

“Okay, fiiiiine. I guess the infamous tickle monster can give breaks.” She decided. She stopped tickling Jack and laid herself down beside the big baby.

Jack was a mess of breathy giggles and slight wheezing.

Wait…

“Jack, do you need your inhaler?” She asked.

“Ma...maybe…” Jack replied.

“Alright.” Gab was about to get up to get it, but a hand on her arm had made her freeze.

“Please stay...I’ll...get it in a bit.” Jack asked.

Feeling his need for love, Gab laid herself back down beside him and looked up at the ceiling.

“Thank you for that...I needed that.” Jack told her.

Gab smiled and held his slightly sweaty palm. “I love you Sean. And I don’t want you to forget it.”

Jack smiled and kissed her cheek. “I love you too, Evelien.”

The two of them laid together in the coolness of the house, and felt every bit of body heat between them that heated them up bit by bit. It felt amazing to them. Having the bit of body heat on one side, and the house’s air conditioning cooling them off on the other side...It was the perfect balance of cool and warm.

Jack soon got up onto his arm and booped her nose. “You’re so cute!”

Gab giggled at this and booped his cheek. “You’re cuter.”

“Am not! You’re cuter!” Jack poked her arm.

“Cuter.” Gab poked the front of his shoulder.

“No you.” Jack poked her side.

“EEP! Nohoho!” Gab giggled. “You’re always gonna be the cuter one!”

“You sound like you’re just begging for tickles right now.” Jack teased.

“Am not, liar!” She teased.

Jack giggled and tickled her side. “Are too, lee.”

“Lehehehee? What’s thahat?” She asked.

“It’s a term a certain community uses to mean ‘the one being tickled’. I found the community one day and not gonna lie: They sound fun.” Jack admitted.

“Lee?!” She reacted. “You’re the lee!”

Jack gasped. “Am not! I’m the ler! The one tickling others!” Jack declared.

‘Naaaah, you’re a lee.” She poked Jack in the side and tweaked his right side.

“EEHEHEhehe! Ahaham nahahat!” Jack laughed.

“Oh reeeeaaaally?” Gab teased.

“Yes really, ya little leeeeee!” Jack teased.

“That’s it! Get over here!” Gab declared, tackling Jack to the ground and kissing him. Jack widened his eyes in surprise, but kissed her back. They kissed for a moment or two, in sweet bliss. But that swet bliss was ruined (Or doubled) the moment Jack felt tickles on his belly. Jack pulled away from the kiss and started laughing while they were in close proximity. “Awww, Jack is all ticklish again!”

Jack giggled and tittered helplessly as his girlfriend tickled him with precise, and surprisingly sharp fingers. “Stahahahap ihihihihit!”

“And why should I, my cute little Jackaboo?” Gab teased.

“Ihihihit tihihihicklehes!” Jack reacted.

“Didn’t you know it was supposed to tickle?” Gab teased. “It was supposed to tickle the whole time! I’m surprised at you!”

Jack giggled and kicked his feet as he was tickled and squeezed.

“So you can figure out a game immediately, but you can’t figure out that tickling is supposed to tickle?” Gab teased, leaning her head in.

“Thahahahat’s ihihit! Cohohome hehehehere!” Jack started tickling Gab’s belly in an attempt to get the upper hand. “Nohohow wehehe’re bohohoth leehehees!”

“EEEEK! WAHAHAIT JAHAHAHAHACK!” Gab laughed much harder as she fell onto Jack’s belly.

Jack let out a big ‘OOF!’ sound and chuckled. “Ohohow!”

Gab, realizing her opportunity, blew a raspberry onto his belly.

“EEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! EVELIEHEHEHEN NOHOHOHOHOHO!” Jack laughed.

“Noooo? No what? No going easy on me? Cause I can certainly do that!” Gab started doing the tickle trick she had before: squeezing his sides, and blowing raspberries on his sensitive belly.

Jack tittered and bursted out cackling almost immediately after.

“Awwww! Coochy coochy coo, Jackie!” Gab teased him just a little more.

“OHOHO COOCHY COOHOHO YOHOHOURSEHEHEHELF!” Jack shot back.

“Naaaah, coochy coochy cooing you is so much more fun!” Gab declared. “Especially now that you’re all giggly and giddy!”

Jack finally tapped out of the tickle attack like a wrestler and laid there wheezing a little harder this time. “In…” Jack tried to show Gab by imitating the act of using his inhaler.

Gab got up and nodded. “Getting it.”

It barely took 10 seconds before Gab was back with Jack’s inhalers. Jack took the correct one, and breathed the medicine in. slowly, his lungs started to open up again, and his oxygen started to help him calm down from the tickling.

“Was that too much for you?” Gab asked, sitting down.

Jack shook his head. “Myhyhy luhuhungs are fuhuhucked. Buhuhut I feel great!” Jack replied, giving her a thumbs up.

Gab smiled and fluffed his hair. Jack looked over at her and smiled genuinely for the first time in a while. It looked like a fresh new face and yet, it looked like a glimpse of the old Jack was there ...If only for a second…

Gab noticed that a bit of the pain was already starting to seep into Jack’s eyes all over again. Gab crawled herself to Jack and hugged him tightly. “It will get better soon...You’ve made a lot of progress already.” Gab told him.

“Have I? I...Haven’t noticed much of a difference.” Jack admitted.

She moved some hair out of his face. “You may not...But that doesn’t mean it’s not there…” She smiled. “I see it.”

Jack smiled a little and held her hand. “I’m glad.”

“We’ll get through this together.” Gab let go of Jack’s hand and hugged him again. “I promise.”

Jack wrapped his arms around Gab and smiled a little. Her hugs were always so comforting. He really appreciated that. Maybe things weren’t nearly as bad as they were...Maybe he was getting better. Maybe those pills were setting in...Or maybe it was just the leftover euphoria from the tickling of a few minutes ago. He didn’t know.

All he knew...was that things were looking a little less gloomy...If only for a little bit.

Jack soon started telling Gab about a new video idea to help him slowly progress back onto youtube. It would involve himself talking to his youtube persona, and would be...something he’d seen a couple times, but never done himself before. Gab seemed to like the idea, and perhaps that was enough convincing to go forward.

The next day, Jack started setting up the tripod...

[12raben]

Uninstalling Inteen & Nerfing ACR

Edit 07/10/21: I’ve seen, that this post has been liked and reblogged a lot. (Thanks for that!) But I just want to point out, that I changed some parts of my “romance mod system”. The current one can be found here. The information here is still valid, just wanted to clear up, what is up to date. :)

Ok, while some of you might be interested, others might not. For all of you, who are not interested: Here, have a nice picture of the Cullroth’s home and the Sunflower Inn from neighborhood view:

For the ones, who want to know, how I set up the new mods, and are not afraid of a good ol’ wall of text you may continue here:

So, one of the main-reasons, why I wanted to uninstall Inteen, is the fact, that it conflicts with everything, everybody and their cat. I read a post by simgigglegirl, where she explained, how she edited ACR to work with Romantic Standards (a mod I wanted to use for ages), so that was a motivation as well. And forgive me, but I’m getting the creeps, when an elder is heart-farting over a teen, who just aged up (so in my mindset is barely 12 years old). I wanted to get rid of that “feature” as well. ACR is hilarious at times, because sims are horny af, but I wanted the sims of twinhills to be somewhat modest. Drama: Yes. Unneccessary, stupid drama: Meh, sometimes, but -please- not all of the time. Raising the needed STR/LTR for romantic interactions was my solution, so far, but it did not always work. The love-triangle between Moira, Madleine and Hesel is somewhat disturbing. Midgethetree uploaded a mod to add a chance for death by childbirth. And how in the name of someone holy can you play a historical game without that mod? It’s also incompatible with Inteen.

Don’t get me wrong. Inteen and ACR are a great set and I used it for many years and I am very grateful, that people put their time and effort into the mods, so people, who are hopeless, when it comes to mods like myself, can enjoy the new features. And it’s all FREE. Simbology’s Inteen and ACR are still enjoyable and if used carefully do not blow up your game. They enhance your experience and will add many handy features.

Still, I wanted to get rid of Inteen, and so I did. I tried to make my progress as clear as possible, but I don’t know, if I succeeded. At the end of the post will be a list of all mods with links.

First, I made a list of the features, that Inteen had provided so far and I need for my gameplay, which was honestly more time consuming, than I thought. I dug through forum entries and mod desriptions just to see, what's even possible and/or compatible. At the end of the day I came to the conclusion, that I need:

teens, who are handled as adults, so they can get married, give birth, take over responsibilities etc. sooner

Chance for miscarriage, which is sad, but a feature, I don't want to miss

Romantic relationships only between adults/elders and teens, who are old enough

autonomy in romantic relationships, but not as strong as ACR, mainly for reproduction

And that was it. I thought, Inteen is such a big thing, surely there is more of it, that I need.... No. XD

So, after getting an idea on how to make the new set-up working (more on that later), I read instructions on how to uninstall inteen. Surely the uninstall-instructions of Inteen are there, but there are a few tips, I found here (post #15). This is, what I gathered; Quick and dirty:

Make a backup. I feel, there is always the need to say that.

Terminate any teen-pregnancy in your game (luckily no need for that in Twinhills)

Delete the Inteen-files in your program files and in your downloads folder EXCEPT Inteenimater_C. It contains the miscarriage memory. Deleting it will cause corruption, when a sim already had a miscarriage. If you don’t want to keep the memory file, you’ll have to delete the memory and all of it’s traces with Simpe and I have no clue on how to do that.

Gather and Install new Mods :D

There is a whole ton of things, I feel like, I have to explain, so you’ll understand, why I made specific changes. Alright. Let’s follow my own list of features, I needed and how I incorporated them with the new mods:

Teens, who are handled as adults & Romantic Relationships between Adults/elders and teens, who aren’t too young That was easy and hard at the same time. I use Midgethetree’s Independent Teens. Teens become for all purposes adults, but they’ll still look like teens. Perfect. Excactly, what I wanted. The only problem with that: The span of independent teens only lasts 7 days in the original setup. I use Almighty Hat’s Aging mod, so my sims spend 24 days as teens. (In Almighty Hat’s calculation one year equals 4 days. Which make the lifespan of teens 6 years, from 14 years old till 20 years old) So, 7 days is really not long enough in my setup. Luckily Midgthetree included Bcons to edit the mod to my liking. My sims will spend 8 days as young, innocent teens, who do not woohoo and if they have romatic relationships, they’ll only have them with other teens their age. The rest of their teen years (16 days), they’ll spent as independent teens, who are for all intents and purposes adults. This also gets rid of the fact, that elders/adults hit on teens, who are way to young. Any sim, who wants a college education, will spent 8 day as a teen, 8 days as an independent teen and 8 days as a young adult, because I use Dave Luv’s Faster College Education Mod, which is very much compatible with Squinge’s Mega College Pack. Only problem, mortia mentioned, when I discussed diffrent alternatives to Inteen with her, is the fact, that independent teens do not go to school. I don’t have a school in Twinhills so far, so that is not a big deal. I think, when the time arrives and I do have a school and a college in Twinhills, I will eighter have independent teens employed in their future career or will make a student career, where they can earn skill points with chance cards. I also use Cyjon’s Edukashun Iz Gud, so the independent teen’s maximum level for any career is level 5, even if they had a A+ grade in high school. The third option (which is my favourite) is to have an actual college/school lot for independent teens, who aspire to have a college degree. The best I can think of right now, is eighter to have a few apartments, where sims rent only a room and can study in the common area or to have them live at home and set up a community lot as a school. Uuh, the community lot could be owned by a sim, who is also enrolled in the education career and his employees are professors. (Who I could add as another pool of marriageable sims... yeah, I really like that idea...) Maybe an idea for the set up of guilds? I have no idea on how to include them in my game so far, so maybe that would be a good start. Maybe it will be a mix of all of the above depending on the sim’s social status? But I digress... Sorry.

Chance for miscarriage That one was easier, than I thought. I installed Chris Hatch’s Alternate Pregnancy Controller. Yes, it also enables teens to become pregnant, even if they are not independent teens. But I myself will have to make my sims reproduce, if the parents are teens. And if I don’t, they won’t. I have full control over teen pregnancies except for teens, who run away or teens, who sneak out. Midgethetree extracted Risky sneak out and Risky Runaway, which matches my taste perfectly. Teens, who rebel and do not follow the rules, aka run away from home/sneak out without their parents permission, are more likely to have a child out of wedlock. *evil cackle* Excellent.

Autonomous reproduction Frankly, when you read through simler90′s complete mod description for romantic standards, it’s so engaging and interesting, I wonder, why this mod doesn’t have more likes. (145 updates?! Come on, even if you don’t like the mod, that is impressive.) I encourage you to read the whole description, because honestly: It made me really excited! The progression of romances in the game are much slower and sims need a little time to warm up before they’ll consider to woohoo. They’ll value their existing relationships and depending on the version you get, it can be based on chemistry. You can add or remove autonomy add ons or get rid of them. It’s highly adjustable. I like this setup much, much more than ACR’s “I just met you and this is crazy, but there’s a hottub, so woohoo maybe?” (Simler90 has also a mod to overhaul the attraction system, you should check out.) Still, I can’t deny the allure of surprise pregnancy, that comes with ACR. Luckily as mentioned above simgigglegirl had the idea to use romantic standards and ACR side by side. She also uploaded the updated ACR-controller, which I think, is really kind. The problem, I ran into, was again the age span. ACR only considers the ingame age, so pretty much all adults in my game are too old to get pregnant this way. But glorious as she is, Almighty Hat included an edited version of the ACR controller to work with her age mod. Simgigglegirl asked Midgthetree for help and I follwed the instructions to edit Almighty Hat’s version of ACR. And lo and behold! It worked out for me! ACR is not uninstalled from my game, but the only option available for sims is reproduction. So, deprived romance sims can still woohoo all the way with strangers like before and knock up/be knocked up, but every other romantic encounter will take time and effort for them. Also, jealousy is handled so much better by romantic standards. The sim will always take into consideration, how serious the relationship has been before they explode and slap the cheater.

Phew. That took some time. As promised here is a list of the mods I use for the intermingling of sims (and the ones I mentioned, but not linked above).

ACR, with an edit by simgigglegirl (follow midgthetree’s instructions on how to edit ACR yourself, if you use a diffrent version of ACR)

Romantic Standards by Simler90 (+all add ons)

New Turn Ons - Young Adult + Education + Aliens + Influential + Travel + Great Dancer + Pet Lover + Great Fighter + Eye Colours + Rich + Poor by SImler90 (You can pick and choose, which version you like the most.)

Age Transition Teens keep loves from Simblogy

Chrishatch Alternate Pregnancy Controller

Independent Teens by Midgethetree

Risky Honeymoon, Runaway, Sneak Out by Midgthetree

Death by Childbirth by MidgetheTree (slightly altered the Bcon, so sims who are younger are also affected, but the chance is significantly lowered, so sims, who give birth in later stages won’t die no matter what)

PregRel by Chris Hatch - look for “pregnancy relationship change“ Original Instuctions: “ For when a sim's pregnancy first shows and those around her realize she's pregnant. If she is a teen living at home (with at least one biological parent) her parents will become furious with her and lose a lot of LTR and STR toward her. Just how furious and how much of a relationship drop depends on her school grades. Parents of A+ students will get a lot more upset than those whose daughter wasn't doing so well at school. If she's married, engaged or going steady and the baby is not from her spouse, fiancé or boyfriend and he figures that out then he will also get mad at her and lose a lot of LTR and STR. If they've never had a woohoo he'll know the baby can't be his, otherwise he needs a logic skill of 300 (out of 1000 or 3 bars) or more to realize. If he has a logic skill of 750 or more he'll also figure out who the real father is and get mad with him as well. There is also a small LTR and STR increase from the baby's father to the mother when he realizes that she's carrying his child. That is unconditional and applies regardless of if they are married or he was just a fling.” If only it would affect reputation as well *sigh*)

NoBiGenderPreferenceDecrease by DeeDee

ACR Asexual Plugin by Midgethetree (For nuns and monks, who should not woohoo)

It's the Proportion -Gestation-Based Age Duration Mod by Almighty Hat

Edukashun Iz Gud by Cyjon

Faster College Education by Dave Luv

Mega College Pack by Squinge

And that’s it. I hope you’ll find this information useful! Please consider install instructions and load order.

Happy simming! :D

[thedarkenedkeeper]

Glitched: Part 10 - Always Watching

Author’s Note: Holy hell, was this insane to write X_X

A few things. Firstly, I apologize for how long it took for this to come out. I was incredibly anxious about school, plus I was just overly struggling with writing this chapter. I had a general idea of what I wanted to happen, but I didn’t really know how to get it down into words.

Secondly, this came out as about 18 pages long in Word so I apologize for how ridiculously long this is! I didn’t think it was going to come out so damn long!

And thirdly, this chapter is heavy on the angst. There’s a little bit of horror – of course – but this chapter is mainly angst-ridden so prepare for a LOT of feels! For Christ’s sake, I CRIED while writing this, so that should be saying something.

WARNING: This chapter is very heavy and is incredibly dark. There are mentions of suicide, abuse (both physical and mental), bullying (mainly cyberbullying), existential crisis, self-mutilation, and incredibly low self-esteem. There are mentions of a character getting lobotomized. There is a scene with a detailed description of the inside of a character’s back, which contains abnormal anatomy.

I will say this and I will say this one: This is NOT a happy fun time chapter! (I know, the story as a whole isn’t happy, but this chapter is VERY heavy on the angst as opposed to the other chapters) There ARE feels.

You have been warned.

Enjoy!

(I am SO sorry. I feel so bad for writing this! ;^;)

Listen to this playlist while reading.

 Wheezing breaths of agony echoed throughout the room as he operated. Warm sticky crimson spurted onto his naked lanky fingers – the very fingers of which were maneuvering the stainless steel instrument through his patient’s skull. A pained gasp expelled from the man upon the bloodied table.

“Oh be quiet.” The glitching entity hissed with agitation. “Stop your whining.” He scoffed. “You act as though you’ve never felt pain before.” A delighted giggle came ringing out of the creature’s slit throat. “Almost like you’re afraid of dying.”

A quivering whimper could faintly be heard coming from his patient as he fiddled with the orbitoclast. The green-haired demon smirked from behind his surgical mask.

“I must say, Herr Doktor,” He said in a horrible German accent, mocking the man, “you should be proud of me. I’m no doctor, but I seem to be doing an impeccable job here, if I do say so myself.” He bragged, his smirk stretching into a twisted smile.

The ice pick sank in further, a trail of blood running out onto the demon’s fingertips. A sharp intake of air, followed by a shaky sob left the patient; the entire mass of flesh jolting and tensing up against his restraints. The overhead light flickered as the sinister being growled through his teeth out of annoyance.

“For fuck sake, stop it! This is delicate work – you of all people should know that!” He snapped sharply, though he ironically gave the pick a violent tap; jabbing the inside of the man’s skull.

It only made the tortured man release a loud moan of unbearable agony, a trembling hand pulling weakly at its bond and trying to reach out for the figure leering over him. After a brief moment, the struggling died down and a faint shaky whine slipped out. The demon chuckled, continuing with his ministrations.

“You see? That wasn’t so hard, now was it? I told you that you could handle the pain.” The creature’s head gave a sudden twitch to the left, then the right, before returning his cold eyes to his patient. He grinned. “If I can bear with it, so can you. Anesthesia is fOr ThE wEaK!” In seconds flat, the entity’s form glitched out spastically; the grin gone and replaced with a grimace of anger, trying to make a point. Almost as quick as it had happened, the toothy smile returned, accompanied with a horrifying cackle of glee.

Another weak whine left the pained patient.

“Trust me, my friend, zhis is for your own good.” The manifestation grinned mockingly, using the exact same words the doctor had said to him when he had been operated on back on October 29th.  “Don’t worry, I’m going to fix you right up.” He expelled a useless breath, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He chuckled lightly before his being glitched out; his facial expression almost immediately falling flat. “I’m going to fix you all.” He hissed softly under his breath.

The poor man upon the table suddenly jerked, a strained gasp of pain getting ripped out of his vocal cords. Anti growled, put off with how uncooperative his patient was being.

“Oh come on, give it a rest already! Get ahold of yourself! You’re not dying!” He mumbled the next few words with promise. “Not yet anyway, but I don’t get to choose the outcome. You should be so lucky.” He wedged the pick in further, showing no remorse towards the man when he writhed and released a choked breath.

As the twisted imposter of a doctor carried on with the operation, getting blood smeared all along his pale digits, he began to yet again find himself slowly but surely sinking into the hatred he held towards the community. No one knew how he felt, not truly anyway. Everyone automatically assumed the unstable creature was just a monster, and as such, he behaved like one. But he was only like that thanks to his creators – they were the ones who gave him life and made him what he was. If they hadn’t wanted a monster, then why hadn’t they done anything to “fix” him? Why hadn’t they taken action when they had had the chance? Anti stared down at his handy work, dark eyes unblinking as the anger started to weave throughout his veins.

“They’re making me do this. They would say otherwise, I know they would. They’re all deceivers – monsters like me, although much worse.” An insidious giggle rang throughout the operating room, sending cold chills down his patient’s spine. “They don’t give a shit about any of us. They can’t seem to make up their damn minds on anything.” He chuckled, although given what he was talking about, it was an incredibly unnerving chuckle. There was nothing but fury and hate behind it. “And they have the audacity to go and point fingers at me and call ME the monster, the true villain in all of this? HA!” He jabbed the orbitoclast rather unexpectedly, instantly getting a horrific reaction out of his tortured patient. He glowered down at the man, his abyssal orbs growing darker and colder than what was already possible.

“They have no idea what they’ve done to me.”

                                                           * * * * *

  It was not long after Halloween when the demon had begun to notice the changes in his audience. After Anti had “killed” Jack in front of the still recording camera and finally took possession of the Irishman’s body, the glitching entity just had to go and upload the footage to YouTube two days later. After all, Jack himself had wanted to make a Halloween video for the fans; he had even teased them about it with the brief recording he had posted on Instagram. As Anti saw it, he was doing the man a favour. And of course, just as he had expected, after that video was released, the entire community went up in flames. Everyone freaked out – both out of equal amounts of delight and fear. Many actually believed Jack had in fact died and that Anti had taken over, and the insidious manifestation could only laugh out of amusement, applauding those few who knew the truth. He had been so gleeful to see his creators’ reactions, taking in just how shell-shocked they each became and how they all screamed his name. It was almost a surreal experience; the demon couldn’t quite contain his happiness.

However, though he was now the one in control, he knew his fans were going to suspect that he was the one inhabiting Jack’s body. And though that was true, he figured he’d have a bit of fun with them all. He would instead put on a deceitful act and pretend to be everyone’s favorite green-haired Irishman. It was time for him to put all of the training he had done over the past couple of months to good use. He would wear a mask and act like nothing had happened, and that’s exactly what he did.

A delayed video was posted hours later of him explaining what had happened during October leading up to Halloween. The glitch definitely put on a seamless act. The way he spoke, the way he acted, the joy and optimism and excitement gleaming in his blue eyes, the positivity radiating off of the man – it was all far too perfect. There wasn’t any way anyone would conclude it wasn’t Jack speaking in front of the camera. The unhinged trickster came up with a convincing lie off the top of his head, telling his audience how everything had just been one big act for Halloween. Anti wasn’t real, it was just Jack pretending to be an evil demented version of himself out to kill him. It was all just a scary idea he had had for the Halloween season – he wasn’t dead.

And the fandom believed him. They fell for his two-faced lies, each individual word sliding off of his wicked tongue and twisting his creators’ beliefs. They had all bought into his seemingly innocent fable. Some were confused, some didn’t know what to believe anymore, but all of them knew deep down that Jack was perfectly fine and he was only embracing the character of Anti…right?

For a time, the glitching entity had been very pleased with his ways of deception, how he managed to warp every single member of the community into believing he was in fact everyone’s good ol’ Jackaboy…that was until he began to take notice of how little attention he himself was receiving.

Sure, after his appearance on Halloween, a ton of fan art, fanfiction, and posts about him had been produced. There was no denying the fact how all of it had given him immense strength and power. However, given how he was pretending to be someone he wasn’t – someone the entire fandom had adored – he realized with a horrendous hybrid of surprise and perplexity that the community was once again returning there attention onto Jack. They all seemed to be relieved at the fact that he was alright and unharmed, that he hadn’t actually died. They were grateful he was alive, and Anti didn’t understand why. Hadn’t they wanted him to cut the man out of the picture? Hadn’t they wanted him to replace the pathetic Irishman and give them a far more superior being to look up to?

As the months passed away and autumn faded into winter, the demented creature began to truly notice the difference in the community’s behavior. He was slowly but surely becoming forgotten by his own creators. Granted, there were still pieces of fan art and fanfiction floating about here and there on social media, but other than that, their main focus was no longer on him; it had been shifted back onto Jack and it appeared to be staying that way. And though he tried to convince himself otherwise, Anti firmly believed that his fans only thought of him as a one-time thing – that he had had his one chance to steal the limelight and now that it had passed, it was time to move on. And the demon was not at all pleased with this.

The minute he had noticed the change in the fandom, Anti had stormed off into the darkened hell where he kept his host caged up and went off on a long-winded rant about just how confused and enraged he was for suddenly being ignored and accused of being a “one-time thing”.

“What? A ‘one-time thing’?” The green-haired Irishman had questioned from behind the searing-hot bars of the cell. He shook his head slowly, not entirely understanding. His alter ego was speaking so quickly, he could barely keep up. “I don’t understand.”

“What’s there to not understand? They see me as a one-time thing! A side-show act!” The manifestation snapped with a glitch of his head.

“Well what did you expect? You’ve been pretending to be me all this time.” Jack stated simply. “They think I’m perfectly fine and that it was all just an act. They don’t really think you exist, and you’ve made them believe that.”

“Shut up! They know I exist, I know they do!” His body spasmed for a fleeting moment as he paced the room. “And yet…” He chuckled lightly in disbelief, “And yet, they’re acting like nothing had happened. Like everything that had led up to Halloween – all of my sudden appearances – meant nothing.” He whirled around and locked his eyes onto the man in the cage. “It’s almost like they’ve forgotten about me completely.” He scoffed, a petite smile flashing across his face in the blink of an eye. “They haven’t forgotten about me completely, thank fuck for that. But…But they’re my creators, damn it!” He flared, his entire form twitching and jerking, struggling to remain stable. “They created me, they brought me to life, and I gave them a show! So why aren’t they giving me attention?”

With no warning, one moment he was a few feet away from the cell and the next, he was suddenly standing right in front of the bars, slamming his hands against them with a violent bang. Jack’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest at the action, stumbling backward and nearly catching himself off balance. Anti’s glacial cold orbs bored deep into the Irishman’s soul, hissing harshly through his teeth.

 “Why do they like you more than me?!” He demanded, fingers tightening around the bars.

Collecting himself and swallowing down any fear he held towards the creature, Jack straightened up and broadened his shoulders. He refused to show any fear or let Anti have the upper hand in this. He glared at the entity from the other side of the bars, his hands balling up into fists at his sides.

“Maybe it’s because I’m not a monster.” The Irishman seethed. “Maybe it’s because I’m not so desperate for attention that I’ve resorted to hurting or killing anyone. Maybe it’s because I actually have a heart and give a damn about the community as a whole as opposed to being a selfish asshole who only cares about their self.” He spat. “Whether they created you or not, it doesn’t matter. You have control over your actions – you can change your ways – and yet you decide not to. You instead choose to be a wretched monster that’s out to cause carnage and misfortunate for others.”

Jack took a few slow steps forward, his eyes never leaving the insidious being staring back at him. He shook his head, scowling at the demon with a look of disgust.

“You haven’t changed…and you never will.”

Anti felt a pang in his chest at hearing what his counterpart said. He growled in anger, his head twitching violently from left to right as a projection of himself flickered, one of him yanking viciously on his hair with his face scrunched up in frustration as opposed to agony. He cocked his head to the side in an unnatural way, reminiscent of the movement of a small bird’s own head. A layered inhuman giggle came bubbling out of his forever blood-gushing throat.

“You think I can change my ways? You honestly think I can change?” A terribly awful laugh erupted from him, succeeding in striking a descent amount of fear into his prisoner. He shook his head vigorously, a grin plastered on his face, even though it was plainly obvious he wasn’t happy. Admittedly, it unnerved the Irishman to a degree.

“Your ‘precious’ community holds the power over me. They are the ones who made me the way I am. I didn’t get a say in the matter! Hell, I didn’t ask to be made. I DiDn’T aSk tO Be GiVEn LiFe!” He unexpectedly lashed out, the grin vanishing from his face in an instant and an animalistic-looking grimace taking its place. His body seemed to stutter and lag for a moment before resuming its movement, twitching and glitching out every few seconds. It was evident the creature was having a hard time controlling his anger.

Jack jumped back in alarm, having not expected the sudden outburst. However, though it had momentarily startled him, the YouTuber still stood his ground. Before he could even think over the situation and come up with a calm and collected solution like he would normally do, he found himself consumed by an overwhelming wave of rage, and the next few words came flooding out of his mouth – words he would later regret ever saying.

“Well if you don’t want to be alive, then why don’t you kill yourself?!” He snapped, glaring daggers at the entity.

Another pang came from within the glitch’s chest, and this one hurt far more than the previous one.

“You keep complaining about how you were created and how everyone is ignoring you and not giving you attention. You’re like a child – a whiny brat who can’t get what they want when they want it, and it’s just sad.” The Irishman continued, not holding back. “You say that the community is responsible for you – that they’re the ones who created you and brought you into this world. And even though they’re essentially like your parents, they don’t seem to care about you.” He leaned forward. “Did it ever cross your mind that maybe the reason they don’t care about you is because of the way you came out?”

Yet again, another painful pang.

“Maybe you were meant to only be an idea, NOT an actual existing creature.” He hissed. “You’re like Frankenstein’s monster – you were pieced together from scratch. Maybe you were meant to come out differently, but instead, came out as this…this thing.” He said with such distaste, the entity visibly winced. Jack kept his eyes fixed on his alter ego, nothing but anger in his eyes, and yet...there was something else there also. Unfortunately, Anti was unable to see it.

“An abomination…That’s what you are.” The man shook his head slowly. “You’re an abomination…and nobody wants you.” His nostrils flared as he took in a sharp breath, trying to keep his hatred at bay. He scoffed. “You know…I’m known for being a reasonable guy. I like to think that I am caring, I can see the good in people, and that I can and will accept anyone for who they are, no matter what their race, gender, sexual orientation – I don’t give a fuck.” He spat. “And over the last two months, I had really thought that maybe – just maybe – that all of this would come to an end.” He was saying it with such sincerity, like he had genuinely hoped things would’ve changed. “That maybe there was some good in you, and you would let me go, and everything could go back to normal. I was willing to accept you for who you are, but now…”

He trailed off, bowing his head and glancing down at the concrete ground, shaking his head. “I was a fool for ever thinking that way…There is no good in you, I finally see that...” He lifted his head and locked eyes with Anti, tugging on his chains as he took a step forward. “You were never meant to exist, Anti. You’re a mistake, and THAT is why they don’t care about you. You weren’t planned. Get that through your head.”

A raw, dead silence came without welcome. The unhinged creature stood there, unblinking eyes staring directly at his host, but the anger he had been feeling – the countless questions that had been tormenting him – all of it seemed to dissipate at hearing what the green-haired man had to say. Never had the demon heard such cold, harsh words leave the man’s lips. Jack had always been known as a pure caring soul, one who rarely ever looked down on anyone unless there was an honest-to-God good enough reason. And for the last two months, the Irishman had tried to see past the glitch’s monstrous exterior. With each day, he had hoped and prayed for the day the demon would come into the room and release him, claiming it to be one big misunderstanding. But that day never came. Time and time again, Anti had been merciless and took great joy in taunting the YouTuber, not at all caring for his feelings. He thoroughly enjoyed seeing his prisoner in a helpless state. And as much as he wanted to believe otherwise, Jack finally opened his eyes to the truth: Anti was a monster and that’s all he’d ever be – there wasn’t an ounce of good in him.

Anti stood there unmoving, the glitchiness of his body faltering and ever so slightly managing to calm down a bit. It may have been hard to tell, but through Jack’s eyes, it almost appeared like the entity’s facial expression had dropped. His body may have been tense and he may have been gripping the bars tightly, but his eyes…there wasn’t a sliver of anger anymore, nor was there perplexity. Those feelings were gone, and in their place, something else took over – something much more haunting. His eyes seemed much darker, but not from the ugly emotions he’d been consumed by a moment ago.

No…this was something else entirely…

If the Irishman didn’t know better, he could’ve sworn he was staring into the eyes of a damaged creature. The body language may have made Anti give off the appearance of a deadly predator ready to go in for the kill, but his eyes were a different story. Jack felt like he was staring into the soul of a wounded animal, and for a brief moment, he almost pitied him.

Nevertheless, within seconds flat, the hurt he’d seen fogging up the demon’s onyx orbs cleared away and the fury he’d had before returned with a cruel vengeance; a feral growl crawling out of the creature’s throat. Anti shook his head, his form beginning to twitch and jerk violently once again. Versions of him flickered every few seconds, one or two of him grinning sadistically and cackling wildly.

“No…You’re wrong. They do care about me deep down – they must!” He unexpectedly giggled with an unnerving amount of glee. He shrugged, extending his arms out to either side. “Why else would they have created me?” He pointed an accusing finger out at the Irishman. “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to test me – see if I have any ‘feelings’.” The abomination said it as though it was a repulsing concept. “Nice try there, Jackie but it ain’t going to work.” His body spasmed momentarily before he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against the bars of the cell. A horrible toothy grin spread from ear to ear across his face.

 “Mark my words, Jackaboy, I’m going to prove you wrong about your ‘loving’ community.” He giggled darkly, lines of pixels scattering across his face at a blurring speed to reveal an expression of pure unadulterated hatred and loathing. His voice dropped an octave or two as he glared at his host.

 “I’m going to give them a reminder of who’s really been around all this time. Then, and only then, will they open their eyes and see.” And without another word, he pushed himself away from the bars, whirled on his heel, and exited the room.

That had been back in early January.

Throughout January and February, the community’s creation continued to play the part of everyone’s favorite green bean; seamlessly pretending to be someone he wasn’t just to please his fans. However, it wasn’t until he began to play a horror game titled “Detention” when things began to take an unexpected turn of events. Unknowingly to the glitch, every couple of minutes into each video, the facecam would suddenly act out of sorts and someone would appear on screen for a second or two, most often looking directly at the camera with confusion, distress, or sometimes even fear. Unfortunately, Anti hadn’t found out about any of this until the videos had been uploaded and he was furious when he discovered what was going on. Without him knowing, Jack had been making energy-consuming attempts at trying to reach out to his audience and show them that he wasn’t the one in control. He was desperately trying to get the community’s attention, and though he succeeded, it only managed to raise a lot of questions amongst the fans. Glitches were associated with Anti, and thus, a majority of the fandom were convinced that Anti was coming back – even though, in truth, he had never left. No one could decipher whether the man shown in the glitches was Anti or Jack, and it was only frustrating both of the green-haired men.

Shortly after he had brought “Detention” to a close, Anti had gone and subjected his pathetic host to a relentless amount of pain. He had strangled him and beaten him into submission, all while venting out his unbridled rage until the man was a quivering mess at his feet, begging to be let go. It was at this point when Anti knew he had to take action, he had to do something to get the community’s attention back onto him – the REAL him. But how? What could he possibly do? It’d have to be bigger than what had happened on Halloween. Something that everyone could see, something that would never be forgotten, something –

And then it hit him like an oncoming truck: PAX. He knew that Jack attended the convention every year; taking the time to meet his fans in person and giving them all a time to remember. The next one was supposed to be coming up in three weeks, and it only made a grin come to the demon’s face. That was it – that’s how he’d get everyone’s attention once again. What better a way to give his makers a reminder than while at a live event?

Leading up to the weekend of PAX, the entity had gone through the trouble of putting together an introductory video for his panel. For the first minute or so of the video, he pretended to be Jack; welcoming everyone to the panel, only to then announce how he had an idea – a game – that he wanted to try out with the audience. He then proceeded to explain himself, stating how they were all going to record a message of sorts using a phone, a camera, or an iPad. The entire thing seemed innocent enough; there was no need to be suspicious of his behavior. Jack was the one speaking after all, and who wouldn’t trust the precious bean? Surely he had something exciting planned. Everything was going well until it wasn’t. The screen would start to glitch out, some of the audio would cut out or become laced with static – clear signs that something was very wrong and that “Jack” wasn’t so alone. And suddenly, the screen cut to black. A series of clips from Jack’s videos flew by one after another at blurring speed before falling back into darkness. And then there was a chuckle…an eerie, childish chuckle that could easily give anyone and everyone a reason to be scared.

The screen glitched out and there he was in all his glory, finally showing his true self and giving everyone a shock. No one would expect him to show up at the panel, and as such, his message would be heard loud and clear. Throughout the remainder of the video, the unstable demon seemed to be a bipolar mess; it was hard to determine what his exact feelings were. One second he’d have a cheeky toothy grin stretched across his sickly pale face, giggling like a lunatic, and the next his expression would be contorted into a godawful grimace of pure annoyance and rage, seething through his teeth and acting a tad threatening towards his audience. His behavior was…off.

He wasn’t like he had been back in October. In October, Anti had been happy and delighted with what he had done. Granted, he had let some of his caged up anger seep out, agitated with how long he had had to wait to be released, but nonetheless, the creature had been overjoyed. He was proud of himself for having done what his creators had wanted…or at least, that’s what he’d thought they had wanted. And now…it was almost like his happiness was being forced, that the smiles upon his face were completely fake and he was struggling to keep any anger from showing. But Anti, being the unhinged entity he was, failed.

“Look at you all – just sitting there! You all thought I was gone!” He scolded, his head undergoing a horrible spasm attack; glitching from left to right. He pointed his knife at the camera angrily before leaning forward, a toothy grin coming to his face as he ran his delicate fingertips over the edge of the knife. “Not worrying about anything.”

He appeared to both look and sound rather pleased, even the cackle of delight that bubbled out of him was unsettlingly cheery. And yet, with a quick glitch of the screen, he was lifting the knife up to his neck in a menacing way, baring his teeth. His neck twitched and jerked out as he smiled.

“You all thought I was gone.” His voice unexpectedly dropped an octave at the last word, an indication that he wasn’t as pleased as everyone was led to believe at first. “But I’ve been here this entire time,” There was the cheeky expression once again; outstretching his arms and acting much like a young child who had just shown their parents a drawing they had worked hard on, “keeping an eye on things.” His eyes flickered blacker than black for half a second, his voice once more dropping an octave. The way he had said those words, accompanied with his inky orbs staring coldly at his audience, was rather disconcerting. Especially given how that face kept alternating with a much different one – one of twisted satisfaction, the signature Cheshire smile etched onto his face.

“You stopped paying attention!” He seethed through his teeth, a sliver of his built up rage hanging off of each word. He was smiling, yet he was evidently very put off with the community’s decisions. “Well I hope you’re happy.” He said it almost sincerely, like he was genuinely hoping everyone was in fact happy with what they had done. “You found someone new! Threw me aside!” Immediately, the smile had vanished in the blink of an eye, a scowl now in its place. He even jabbed an accusing finger at the camera, making his point.

“You found someone to replace me!” And just as quick as it had appeared, the entity was yet again smiling brightly; his head giving a fierce jerk before he locked his eyes onto the camera. It was up for debate on who exactly the creature was talking about, but Anti definitely knew, and that someone was slowly but surely becoming a weakened broken man behind a set of warm steel bars. Someone he absolutely loathed with every fiber of his being.

“I’m not going anywhere!” The abomination chirped, his voice reaching a higher pitch, nearly sounding like a giggle. His form glitched out to show him constantly moving back and forth in an unnatural way, like the creature was stuck in a state of limbo. “I’m always there – always watching.” He said it in both a teasing and threatening manner, his eyes cloaked in darkness as he raised his knife. He was going to make sure that every single one of them would remember he was there and how he was never going to leave – never.

It was around this point that if anyone listened closely, a very faint muffled “help me” could be heard, reminiscent of the one in the “Say Goodbye” video. However, unlike that one – which had been gushing with panic and horror – this one was the exact opposite. It sounded devoid of energy and hope, like the man who was calling out for help had been tortured relentlessly and was losing the battle. It almost sounded like the poor man was sobbing, desperate for someone to notice he was there. A sinister cackle followed his plea; the insidious monster sounding far too pleased with how helpless his prisoner was.

“You can’t get rid of me.” Anti growled menacingly, directing his knife towards the camera threateningly. His form began to spastically glitch out, shaking from the struggle he was having containing his anger. And with that, the screen blacked out. “Enjoy the show.”

When PAX came around – March 10th, to be exact – and the entity got to show the video, he watched from afar, hearing everyone’s alarmed reactions towards his unannounced appearance. He covered his mouth, having a hard time holding back his laughter. Good, they were finally coming to their senses and remembering he was still around. For the remainder of the event, however, Anti refused to let everyone know he was the one wearing Jack’s meatsuit. Because as much as he wanted to reveal the truth, he could hear Jack’s haunting words swirling in the back of his head, reminding him how everyone only thought he was an idea, not an actual existing creature. If he were to show his true self, there was no telling what would happen, so he decided to keep a low profile and slip back into the character of Jacksepticeye.

Everything seemed to be going well for some time in the community. For the rest of the month leading into April, all they could talk about was PAX and of how the glitching demon had unexpectedly shown up to the event, giving them a reminder he was always there, watching them. And of course, through this, Anti grew happy at receiving more attention. He was so thrilled, he was overcome with the temptation to go up to his host and rub in his face about just how wrong he had been. But unfortunately for the entity, the contentment was short-lived.

Just like what had happened back when he had shown himself on Halloween, Anti only received a vast amount of attention for a month or two before everything died down and he was pushed aside as a “one-time thing”. This time around was much different. While many were trying to decipher his message and who had been in control all this time, others were growing tired of the glitch. They seemed a tad bit annoyed, like he was a nuisance, which made Anti confused more than anything. Why were they all suddenly turning their backs on him? Any one of the other egos could show their faces and everyone would be smiling and laughing, pleased to see them. But if he showed his face, he got the opposite greeting. Everyone would either quiver in fear, snap at him to “fuck off and leave Jack alone”, or roll their eyes and huff an exasperated breath, not impressed. Admittedly, there were quite a lot of people who did in fact love the glitch and were always happy to see him, but Anti failed to see that; a crimson haze casted over his vision, only allowing him to notice the people who resented him.

The twitchy manifestation was at a loss for words. He couldn’t come up with a logical reason as to why so many people spited him. What could he have possibly been doing wrong? All he wanted was to be included into the circle, all he wanted was to be seen as an equal and loved and adored like all of the other egos who stood in his way. How come they got more attention than him? They didn’t get any more videos than he did, and yet, somehow, someway, they all received an insane amount of adoration. But with him – one glitch of the screen and the entire fandom would explode with every emotion except for one he longed for: love. And the demon wouldn’t admit it but it hurt him more than anything; more than any physical harm he could do to himself.

Sometime during May, Anti had isolated himself in a far off room in the void. He locked himself in the pitch-black room, pacing back and forth; tormenting himself relentlessly with what Jack had spat at him and whether any of his words had been true or not. He questioned himself over and over again about what he was doing wrong and why the community couldn’t accept him the way he was. He clutched his head, scrunching up his hair in his fingers and tugging harshly as he growled lowly out of frustration. His body was in a constant state of manifesting itself in and out of existence; jerking and pixelating, distorting all of his features.

“What am I doing wrong? What’s so special about all of those other fuckers? What do they have that I don’t?” He snarled venomously, his form lagging mid-step before resuming movement. “I thought they wanted me to be a real thing, I thought they wanted me to come into existence. Isn’t that what they wanted? But if that’s what they wanted, then why are they all dismissing me with ease, like I don’t exist? Why are they ignoring me?!” He huffed, his unnecessary breathing increasing in rate. He was beginning to sound rather exasperated, and if anyone could believe it, like he was a bit emotionally hurt.

“They’re my parents, for fuck sake! They made me who I am – why would they make me like this if they knew it would displease them?! What kind of sick joke is this?!” He flared, his figure glitching out to briefly show a projection of him strangling himself, the next of him cutting his already bleeding throat. He threw his arms out to either side. “I’m doing everything I can! Am I trying too hard? Am I not trying hard enough? There’s no pleasing those people!” A stuttering breath left his lips, his head giving a harsh jerk to the left; a loud audible crack coming from his neck. He was beginning to shake all over now, and it wasn’t from how unstable his form was.

“They’re…They’re supposed to love me…” He muttered under his breath, bringing his pacing to a halt in the middle of the black room. He stared down at the ground, shaking his head only to release a small giggle of disbelief. “But they don’t love me…They don’t love me at all.”

For three whole hours, the glitchy entity remained in that room, putting himself through a horrendous amount of mental agony. Pacing back and forth and glitching out from one part of the room to the next, the demon wallowed in his pain. He ended up collapsing to his knees, hanging his head in shame and burying his face in his hands. Icy cool droplets filled his dark eyes and ran down his cheeks, dripping down into his hands and leaking out through his fingers. No one would ever see this side of the creature – sadness and emotional pain such as this weren’t normal for the demon. He saw it as weakness, and as such, he would never show it. He would never admit to the heart-devouring pain he’d endure every single day caused by the community. He always stood up straight, put on a devious smile, laughed like a psychopath, and demonstrated the behavior of one too. He always came off as a merciless, deranged, inhuman abomination that felt no remorse or guilt. He was essentially heartless; he didn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. As far as anyone was concerned, he took great joy in seeing others suffer. Love wasn’t a concept he could understand – it was something he could NEVER learn.

But they were all wrong. Every single one of them was wrong about him. He DID have a heart, he DID care about what others thought of him. He DID want to be loved by not just the community but Jack and the egos as well. And yet, here he was, coming to terms with just how much he was hated by his so-called “family”.

Anti sat down in the furthest corner of the room, knees brought in close to his chest as he tugged at his hair; endless tears of hurt cascading down his face. Jack’s assumption had been right before – he had been looking at a wounded animal. The poor creature couldn’t pull himself together. He had been made to be unstable, and as such, any emotion he would feel, would become impossibly heightened to the tenth degree. There was no easy way out of this hell he was putting himself through, there was no way for him to calm down. He just sat there, letting the darkness consume him and allowing the sorrow to rip away at his heart horrifically.

 As though he were a broken record, Anti scolded himself, repeatedly asking himself what was wrong with him as opposed to what was wrong with the community. Maybe Jack had been right, maybe he was a mistake. Maybe he shouldn’t have existed to begin with. Maybe the community did only like him as an idea versus as an actual existing entity. No one loved him, no one cared about him. He was just there as a joke for everyone to do with as they pleased. He was like a puppet having his strings tugged at, playing a part in their deceiving game. And the poor damaged manifestation was getting pulled apart at the seams at the thought.

This is what they had done to him.

They had cut out his heart and forced it down his throat.

He was dead inside.

                                                        * * * * *

 There he stood, hovering over his patient, lost in a state of memory. His hellish eyes, which had been clouded over with rage and hatred a second ago, now held pain and suffering. Those eyes were the eyes of a creature that had been beaten and abused horribly countless times over – the eyes of someone who had been through hell and back. And for a fleeting moment, it almost seemed like those eyes were beginning to water.

“Those fuckers…They ruined me.” He hissed softly under his breath, his fingers tightening around the orbitoclast currently wedged into his patient’s skull. He shook his head slightly, eyes unblinking. He was looking down at the man like he was expecting him to be sympathetic towards him. “All I ever wanted was to be loved…Was that so much to ask for? Was it that hard of a concept to grasp?” His voice was wavering, sounding like he was on the very verge of crying.

However, at hearing his patient let out a pained moan, Anti blinked and removed himself from his dreary reverie; the unhinged monster within returning to the surface. He smirked behind his mask.

“Nevertheless, who needs love? It’s overrated. Ain’t that right, Doctor?” He giggled as he twisted the steel instrument around, getting the man to produce yet another moan of unwanted agony. “You of all people should know that, what with how your pathetic family left you.” He scoffed. “Who needs them? They abandoned you! If they truly loved you, they wouldn’t have left, now would they?” He gave the orbitoclast a violent tab, a spurt of blood flying up into his face. His patient arched and let out a choked yelp at the searing pain. The demon’s smirk developed into a smile. “You should never hurt the ones you love…Never.”

 His patient went placid against the table, no longer moving or making useless attempts at escape. Anti noticed and chuckled, lightly slapping the bloodied man’s face to try and get a reaction out of him. All he received was a drawn out wheezing breath. Chuckling lightly, the sadistic creature tore his mask away from his face and tore the orbitoclast out of the man’s skull carelessly, not at all concerned whether or not he managed to damage something else. His patient jolted and groaned loudly, but didn’t struggle against his bonds or scream from the striking pain. Anti threw the ice pick off to the side somewhere before strolling away from the table, ridding himself of his surgical attire as he headed for the exit.

“Don’t get up, Doc. I’ll be back in a minute.” He said as he stormed out of the operating room. As soon as he left, his smile faltered. “I need to visit your creator.”

                                                           * * * * *

Back within the freezing cold hell, the green-haired Irishman was a shivering mess. He was on his knees where he had been standing not too long ago when he had yelled at Anti. His face was buried in his shredded up, blood-caked hands, crying out of fear for not just himself but of what Anti had done. Why had he left the room? He had said he was going to visit the doctor, and immediately, possible scenarios of gut-wrenching horror flooded the YouTuber’s head. What was Anti doing to Henrik? Was he torturing him? Was he getting him to do something completely obscene and wrong? Was he killing him? Jack choked on a sob at that last one.

The man nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the front door burst open; lifting his head hesitantly to see his alter ego storm into the room. Before he knew what he was doing, Jack got to his feet and grasped the icy bars of the cell.

“What did you do?!” He wailed, loose tears running down his face. “What did you do?!” He repeated, both demanding and dreading an answer.

Anti frowned from where he stood, eyes fixed onto his prisoner. His arms flung out to either side of him. “I did what was necessary!” He snapped sharply, a bit put off with the Irishman’s whining.

He took a few steps forward, boring his dark soulless orbs into the crippled YouTuber. His body glitched out, his head jerking violently to the right; the slit across his throat seeming to stretch further at the motion.

“I did what I had to do!”

 He materialized, suddenly now having his back facing Jack. He pulled up his shirt, and while biting deeply into his bottom lip and letting loose a pained hiss, the skin of his back pixelated and was pulled back, revealing his spine to his host. There was crimson blood everywhere accompanied with some sort of sticky black sludge. There were veins and bits and pieces of his insides here and there that appeared as though they had had something severed from them; evident due to the holes scattered about and how some veins hadn’t been sealed off properly. All along his spine there were dark splotches and some kind of green residue there, almost as if something had once been attached to the creature’s spine.

Jack flung away from the bars and nearly screamed, a wave of nausea crashing over him and knocking the wind out of him. He stumbled backward and instantly collapsed to his knees, keeling over as bile rose in his throat. He couldn’t hold back. He heaved violently and vomited, the sight of Anti’s insides far too revolting for him to stomach.

“Your ‘precious’ community made me do this, Jack.” The demented entity hissed with distaste. “They were always pulling the strings, ALWAYS the ones to twist and shape me however they pleased.” He scoffed, a giggle ringing out of his vocal cords as though this was all some fucked up joke to him. “They made me a joke. They dragged me along in their game, and I HAD ENOUGH!” He growled momentarily before the abnormally delighted smile returned to the creature’s paled face. “So…I got the ‘good doctah’ to sever the strings once and for all.” He cackled, shaking his head as his back closed back up and he lowered his shirt.

The Irishman raised his head, breathing heavily and having difficulty getting air into his lungs. His eyes were blown wide with horror, staring at his counterpart with disbelief like he couldn’t believe what the creature was saying.

“Oh my God, Anti, why?! Why?! Why would you - ?!” He got cut off, nearly choking on the left over bile in his throat. He groaned and hacked harshly, spitting it up. He sobbed softly and shook his head vigorously, fixing his lifeless eyes onto the demon. “You didn’t have to do that! Why the hell would you do that to yourself?!” He cried, like he wasn’t just horrified of what he’d discovered but also like he genuinely cared about the demonic entity’s wellbeing. “Why the FUCK would you mutilate your body – why would you go through something like that?!”

Anti slowly turned around to face him, no evidence of there having been a smile on his face a moment ago. He no longer looked amused or happy; there was nothing but anger and hate written in his eyes. His form was struggling to remain stable now, lines of static racing across his body here and there; jerking from left to right as he took a step towards the cage. He cocked his head and scoffed, like he couldn’t believe he had just heard the green-haired man ask him such a stupid question.

“You think I wanted this?” He asked in such a soft static-laced voice, it managed to send chills up Jack’s spine. “You think I really wanted to do this – that I wanted to have the one thing that made me who I am, the one crucial part of my being, torn out of my body without care like it didn’t matter?” He inquired, although the way he was phrasing the question didn’t sound like a question. It sounded as though he expected Jack to already know the answer. He shook his head slowly, staring at the Irishman with slight shock.

 “I did what had to be done and I don’t regret it.” He spat, even though his words came out a bit off, like he wasn’t telling the truth. “They can’t control me anymore.” He jolted forward, pressing his face into the bars of the cell. “I’m not their bitch, they’re mine. They are all my puppets now…and we’ll see how much they like to be strung about in a twisted game of pain and suffering.” His face glitched out, very briefly showing a different version of him, except this one was unlike any of the others Jack had seen before. Every time Anti’s form would become distorted, Jack would always see projections of him either displaying violent behavior or he’d be a terrifying laughing lunatic. But this time…there was none of that.

There was no uncontrollable anger, no frustration, no unsettling glee accompanied with chilling giggles.

There was only sadness, a look of hurt on his face as though he had been horribly beaten and was now a cowering mess. And though it had happened at a blurring speed, Jack could’ve sworn he had seen tears well up in the creature’s eyes.

Jack’s eyes widened ever so slightly, remembering how earlier he had seen Anti in a similar vulnerable state – something he had never once seen come from the glitch before. Licking his cracked lips and letting out a raspy wheezing breath, the Irishman tried to talk some sense into the entity.

“Anti…D-Don’t…” He coughed harshly, a few drops of blood spluttering forth. He shook his head. “Y-You don’t want to do this…You…You’re wrong…about them.” He inhaled sharply, groaning as he felt a stinging pain in his chest. He hunched over and shifted around, attempting to get into a comfortable position. “Y-You…You don’t know them like I do.”

Anti kept his abyssal orbs locked on the Irishman, never once leaving his face. There was no telling what was going through the manifestation’s head; his expression was unreadable. One moment it looked like he was pissed off, the next it seemed flat like he didn’t care at all. He scoffed, the corner of his lips tugging up into a slight smirk that only lasted for half a second.

“No, you’re right. You’re right, I don’t know them like you do.” His head gave a violent jerk to the right, a loud crack emitting from his slashed neck. He bored his eyes into his prisoner, anger becoming the more dominant emotion now. “Because you’ve been strung along in their deceiving game. All this time, you’ve been led into believing that they care about you – that they care about any of us, for that matter – and because of it, you’ve been holding onto false hope for the day they save your ass.” He seethed, his words striking deep into the man’s heart.

“You need to wake up and realize they’re never going to save you, they are NEVER going to help you. They are the true monster in all of this. They all put on an innocent act and like they’re not at fault. But they are the ones to blame! They caused ALL of this to happen!” He unexpectedly slammed his hands against the bars, making Jack flinch and shuffle backward. The demon’s eyes became drenched in black, heavy shaky breaths of anger puffing out through his lips. “They don’t give a FUCK about any one of us, and it’s not until now that I’ve come to realize this.”

Jack shook his head in disagreement. “No…N-No, y-you’re wrong…Y-You’re mistaken, A-Anti…” He insisted, shivering from the cold. The room had gotten so cold, he could now see his own breath. Funnily enough, even though Anti was breathing, his breath wasn’t visible. The Irishman found it to be a rather odd observation. “Th-They do care. A-About me, about th-the others, and…a-and about you too.”

At hearing this, the glitch couldn’t contain his mirth and threw his head back, letting out a horrific laugh of delight. He locked his eyes back onto his host, a toothy grin on his cruel face, clearly not believing the man.

“Is that so?” He chuckled lightly. “Do you remember what you had said to me long ago, back in January?...Do you remember?” His grin was slowly but surely slipping away, fading down to a smile, then into what almost looked like a pained scowl. “Do you remember?” He softly whispered through the bars. “Do you remember what you said to me?” His voice, it sounded…strained, like he was struggling to breathe properly or something.

Jack’s brows weaved out of confusion, trying to recall what the demon was talking about. This damned room, he could barely think clearly. For Christ’s sake, he had had so much difficulty remembering what had happened in October. How was he supposed to remember what – ?

And then it all came at him full-force with no warning. Suddenly, the Irishman was able to notice the pain behind the creature’s fury, and his facial expression softened as he felt an overwhelming amount of guilt coil around his fist-sized organ of innocence and constrict it tightly. He began to feel tears returning to the surface, welling up in his eyes as he tore his gaze away from his alter ego. Anti groaned and pulled away from the bars.

“Oh for fuck sake, enough with the crying already! It’s getting to be annoying.” He bemoaned. “Come on, I haven’t even hurt you yet! What could you be possibly crying about now?!”

 Jack kept his head low in shame, shaking it as the tears threatened to tip over the edge.

“I…I-I…I’m sorry…” He whispered so softly, it could barely be heard. He swallowed the lump in his throat and sobbed, shaking his head as he closed his eyes, a look of pain coming upon his face. “I-I’m so sorry…I…O-Oh God…” He lifted his hands, covering his face as he cried.

Anti frowned. Normally he’d be amused at seeing his prisoner so broken up like this, but not today. He was in absolutely no mood for waterworks.

“Sorry? What the fuck are you babbling on about?” He banged against the bars. “Come on, speak up!” He snapped with annoyance.

The green-haired man gulped in what little air he could as he pulled his soaked hands away from his face, reopening his eyes.

“I…I-I’m so s-sorry, I…” He sniffled. “I-I had no…i-idea that you…” He stopped himself, taking a breather to try and calm his nerves. It didn’t work out as well as he had hoped. He shook his head in disbelief as the memories tormented him. “Th-Those words…Th-Those things I had said, Jesus Christ…” He shut his eyes tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose and cringing at the reminder. He bit his lip, trying so very hard to stop himself from crying. His bottom lip trembled as he struggled to speak. “I…I thought…I thought you were heartless…I-I th-thought that…that there was n-no good in you at all…I…I figured y-you were a…a…”

“A monster?” Anti answered so harshly, his body rippled violently.

Jack tensed up at the word and he immediately lifted his head to lock eyes with the demon. Wet lines of sorrow stained his cheeks and his eyes were red, sore from the countless times he had cried. He shook his head slowly, still shell-shocked by the haunting memory.

“I-I’m s-so sorry…I-I don’t know w-why I said th-those things…” He sniffled and nervously chuckled out of disbelief, like this had to be some sick joke of sorts. “I-I didn’t mean any of it…I…I-I didn’t know, I swear to God, I d-didn’t…” He sobbed, a few lone tears running down his face. “I w-was wrong about you, Anti…I-I was so wrong…I…” He swallowed his tears. “I-I was so blind to see that…that the one who truly n-needed help…th-the one who n-needed love…” He looked up at the creature with pleading eyes, hoping like hell that he believed his words, because none of them were lies. He was telling the honest-to-God truth, and it was ripping him apart. “w-was you…Th-That’s all y-you’ve ever wanted…Y-You’ve w-wanted t-to be a part of s-something…a-and w-we have f-failed you…” He cried, shaking all over not from just the cold but from the force of his crying. “I…I-I’m so sorry, Anti.” He whispered softly.

The unhinged abomination glitched out for a moment, standing there with his gaze fixed onto the quivering mess of a man named Jack. Like before, his face was unreadable. Jack couldn’t tell if he was enraged, annoyed, amused, happy, or something else entirely. For a split second, when the entity went to stand up straight, the Irishman had winced and whimpered, raising his arms to brace himself for any sort of act of violence. But nothing came. Instead, he heard the creature let out a shaken breath.

“I knew it…I knew this would happen.”

Blinking with confusion, the YouTuber lowered his arms just enough to glance up at the demon.

“You’re just as bad as them.” He hissed, his entire body glitching out to show a projection of himself crying out in anguish. “You don’t care – you didn’t before, and you still don’t. All of this,” He motioned at the man crying his eyes out in the cold dank cell, “is just an act, just an excuse – an attempt to try and win me over so I can release you from this hell. Well guess what? It’s not going to work, so drop the act. I’ve had enough of the lies from everyone.” He growled with such hatred, his head stuttered and twitched from left to right, struggling to keep his anger at bay.

Jack blinked, frowning with perplexity. “W-What? No…N-No, no, no. Y-You…” He coughed violently, “y-you think - ?” He shook his head, pushing himself up into a standing position and nearly falling over. He quickly steadied himself against the prison bars, his eyelids slipping shut tiredly before reopening them to look at the entity. “Th-This…This isn’t an a-act…” He coughed again, hacking harshly into one of his bloodied palms. “I-I am t-truly sorry, An-Anti…a-and…a-and the c-community…i-if they are th-the ones who…who c-created you…th-then they do care.”

Anti growled. “Lies.”

 “N-No…No, I-I know them…I-I know w-what they’re like…a-and…” He sucked in a breath, choking on it and heaving into his hand dryly. “u-ugh….mmgh…” He winced before standing up as straight as he could. “t-they do care…Th-Those jokes th-they make a-about you…” He shook his head, “th-they’re just jokes, th-that’s all…I-It’s what th-they do. H-Hell,” He scoffed, “th-they’ve m-made jokes about m-me and…and the others b-before…” He shrugged, licking at the tears that ran over his lips. “I-It’s j-just their w-way of showing th-their appreciation – th-their l-love.”

He coughed violently, nearly collapsing to the ground at the force of his coughing. He groaned in pain, his legs wobbling as he struggled to remain standing. He looked at Anti with exhaustion.

“P-Please…B-Believe me…Th-They d-don’t h-hate you, Anti…” He insisted in a pleading tone of voice, a lone tear running down his cheek. He shook his head. “N-No…No one has to get hurt…Y-You c-can…can be happy and l-loved…l-like you were m-meant to be.” He said weakly before sliding down to the ground with a thud, letting out a weak moan.

Through the dark, though his eyes had fallen shut for a brief moment, the Irishman made out a very faint sob. His eyelids were heavy with the longing to stay shut, but he forced them open to see the glitch’s face contorted into one of frustration. There was anger, hatred, and…and sorrow. There was pain – heart-aching pain, tears welling up in the hurt creature’s darkened eyes. His grip on the bars of the cell was so tight, Jack was almost afraid he was going to break them and charge into the cage to slaughter him. Lucky for him, that didn’t happen. His entire body was visibly shaking and not just from how he was glitching out constantly every few seconds. It almost seemed like the poor creature was fighting himself, like he was holding back on something. His bottom lip was trembling as he struggled to keep himself from showing weakness.

“R-Really?...Is that so?” The demon stuttered in a static-laced voice. And though he sounded beyond furious, he couldn’t hide the truth from the Irishman. He was hurting, and it was showing as clear as day. “Y-You think they all care?” A small sad smirk tugged at his lips as he outstretched a hand behind him. “Th-Then how do you explain these?” And with a snap of his fingers, a patch of darkness dissolved to show endless posts on Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter.

Jack squinted, dragging himself forward in a poor attempt to see well. His eyes widened a tad bit when he realized what each one was about. Every one of the posts was hateful and overly mean towards the glitch, and none of them were in a joking manner, even Jack himself could tell.

“Fuck off, Anti! Leave Jack and the egos alone!”

“Go away! We don’t want you here!”

“Look at him – he’s having a temper tantrum. He’s not scary, he’s just complaining about what he can’t have.”

“You people do realize this is all just an act, right? Anti’s not real, get over it.”

“Anti, why the hell are you here?”

“We need to get rid of Anti, guys! It’s the only way we’ll get Jack back! Who’s with me?!”

“Anti, it’s not Halloween yet! Go back to sleep!”

“Glitch Bitch!”

Every single comment or post was either making fun of the glitching entity or just straight up being hurtful in the worst way imaginable, such as telling him to go away and that he wasn’t wanted – that no one wanted to see him. No one knew it, but every one of the posts hurt the creature to a horrible extent, and Jack couldn’t blame him. He stared at the screen with appalment. These couldn’t be from his community, there was no way. He knew his fans and they were most certainly not this cruel – not towards him or the other egos, at least. And if Anti was their creation, then why the hell would they treat him worse than dirt?

Jack didn’t know what to say, and Anti could tell. He scoffed, the sad smirk still upon his face.

“Y-You see? You c-can’t even defend th-them.” He lowered his arm as the screen materialized, gone forever. “Th-They don’t care about me…I-I’ve always been j-just a nuisance to them – a-an object for th-them to toy with.” His form spastically glitched out all of sudden, a projection of him lurching forth; tugging at his head and bawling his eyes out, screaming out in pain. Jack gasped softly, pressing back into the bars behind him. Anti jerked his head. “I-I…I will n-never be loved…b-because th-that’s not the reason w-why I-I was m-made.”

The Irishman’s eyes widened with surprise as he watched Anti blink, a lone tear finally falling loose and running down the demon’s cheek. His bottom lip trembled more, having little to no control over his emotions anymore. Another tear fell from his eye.

“Th-They d-didn’t make me…b-because they w-wanted a s-son…T-They made me b-because…th-they wanted a m-monster…” He sobbed softly, his entire form vibrating and giving a violent glitch. And though his body was unstable, the creature’s voice remained rather quiet, like a murmur. He almost sounded human.

“Th-They w-want…a v-villain...th-that they can h-hate and f-fear…Th-That’s all they’ve ever w-wanted…f-from the start.” He shook fiercely, anger starting to come back with a vengeance; his voice becoming much harsher and more distorted. “S-So…if th-that’s what they w-want…i-if that’s w-what’ll please them…” He chuckled lightly, another cool tear racing down his face. His sad smirk morphed into a twisted ugly smile. “Th-Then that’s w-what I’ll give them.” He shook his head vigorously, licking at the salty tears over his lips. “N-No more…L-Love is t-truly dead…” He cackled. “F-Fear…” He hummed with bemusement, “is w-what’ll get th-there attention…p-permanently.”

 He pushed himself away from the bars and growled at himself, roughly wiping his eyes free of any more tears before turning on his heel to storm for the exit. Jack almost immediately scrambled to his feet, gripping onto the bars for dear life so he wouldn’t collapse again.

“W-Wait, wait, wait!” He croaked hoarsely, barely having any voice left in him. He reached his arm out through the cell, hoping Anti wouldn’t leave. There was no telling what the demon would do once he left. Hell, Jack still didn’t even know what Henrik’s fate had been!

“An-Anti, please!” He coughed dryly, his shoulders shaking. He was beginning to fall incredibly weak again, his eyes feeling heavy with exhaustion and the temperature of the room was only making it worse. “D-Don’t…” He gave one last attempt, one last plea before his knees gave out; collapsing to the ground and passing out cold.

Anti didn’t bother to look over his shoulder at the Irishman. He didn’t even retort back with a snarky taunting remark of sorts, the closest thing being, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some unfinished business to attend to.”

He wasn’t his usual self, and Jack had seen it with his own two eyes. It had been a long while since the entity had had a chance to vent out these painful emotions, but he had no time to lock himself away.

No…He couldn’t lock himself away…

But he could take his hurt out on someone else…

Part 9 - No Strings Attached

Part 11 - In Your Head

 @gridhorizon @jse-fandom-protection-squad @septic-obsessed @darkcurious @butterlover328 @steffid101 @sketchy-scribs-n-doods @n-o-ra-xi @haveaverynicetime @golden-eyed-guardians @fear-is-nameless @nightmarewolf133 @maybekatie @jack-a-yote @lil-gib @aeoix @lemonofweirdness @randomcrystals @yourestillnotmytype-58

[jonghyundroppedthesoap]

My Number One Fan

Chapter 28 Pairing: JongKey Word Count: 4,370 Summary: Kibum goes to the same, run-down bar every week to watch the man of his affections sing his heart out with a mere guitar for company. He wasn’t expecting the coffee, nor the beautiful personality within the singer. And he definitely wasn’t expecting to fall in love.

A/N: first of all - i have never been more sorry in my life. i know this took months, and i don’t really have any excuse. i’ve just been really stressed with school and unmotivated, but don’t worry! i’ve got another chapter after this to upload and i’ve started the last two. please enjoy, and don’t hate me <3

“Where are we going, Minho?” laughed Taemin happily, perfectly content to be dragged from place to place by his boyfriend.

Minho beamed, practically skipping across to his car on the other side. “On our first date!” he sang. “I wanna take you someplace nice.”

Usually the type to act tough when presented with anything sentimental, Taemin had seemingly morphed into a completely new person, blushing brightly at even Minho’s smallest displays of affection. School had finished for the day and everyone, in their pursuit to hurry home, had already cleared out. “It’s a school night…” he hummed, though no signs of disappointment were evident. Taemin shrugged at his own comment. “Oh well!”

Pausing, Minho regarded Taemin worriedly. “You sure your parents won’t care?”

“No, no, no,” waved Taemin assuredly, snatching Minho’s keys and unlocking the car with glee. “They won’t mind at all.”

Minho rolled his eyes fondly and slipped into the driver’s seat. “If you say so, Taem.”

The car started up and Minho pulled out onto the road smoothly, making sure that Taemin had clipped his seatbelt in before speeding off.

“But seriously, where are we going?” spoke Taemin again after a few moments of silence, watching out the window as they headed away from the city centre.

Reaching one arm over, Minho clasped his hand together with Taemin’s. “It’s a surprise.” he teased playfully, shooting the younger a quick, adoring glance.

An hour into the drive, Taemin had already managed to fall asleep, head lolling to the side as his quiet breaths filled the air. Minho smiled serenely, hoping that he would remain asleep until they reached their destination. He had thought long and hard about where to take the younger, and eventually decided that for a first date, this would be the best option.

Only fifteen minutes remained, and when the two finally came to the top of the hill Minho had driven them too, the taller boy let out a whistle of appreciation. He was careful as to not wake Taemin while he worked, reaching into the trunk of the car for his blanket and picnic basket. Due to the time of the day, the sun was already beginning to set, the vague outline of the moon making itself known through the speckle of white clouds.

Taemin was beginning to stir just as Minho finished setting up, patting the blanket down one last time in reassurance that everything would be perfect. A slight wind ruffled his hair, and Minho barely contained the shiver which ran down his spine. Rubbing his eyes, Taemin looked up at Minho through the windscreen and smiled widely, jumping out of the car in tired excitement.

“How did you…What is—,”

“It’s pretty, right?”

Taemin snorted. “Never thought I’d hear the word ‘pretty’ falling from your mouth.”

Minho gave Taemin a gentle nudge. “Shut up, I’m trying to be sentimental. But yeah…Do you like it?”

“Of course I like it,” Taemin rolled his eyes before taking a seat on the picnic rug. “Come and sit down.”

Joining the younger, Minho spread the food around the blanket and took a sandwich off the platter. Taemin followed suit, and for around ten minutes or so the two teenage boys spent the time stuffing their faces with fruit, sandwiches, cake and beverages. Looking at Minho mischievously, Taemin grabbed a grape from a plate and gestured to Minho’s mouth. “Try and catch it,” he smirked.

Although he rolled his eyes, Minho obliged without complaint and shuffled back a bit. The first grape bounced off his teeth and onto the grass, but before he could complain about it Taemin was at the ready with a second. This one too, bounced off his face and rolled pathetically along the blanket.

“C’mon Taemin, we’re wasting them.”

Taemin tutted indignantly, before offering with a wide grin. “If you catch one, I’ll give you a kiss.”

Immediately, Minho’s facial expression changed and he gestured for Taemin to hurry up and throw one. “Well then, what are you waiting for?”

An unattractive snort emitted from Taemin, and without hesitation he threw the third grape. Minho dove desperately, yet nonetheless ended up groaning in annoyance as it wacked him on his chin. “How am I meant to catch one if you’re throwing them that hard?”

Taemin offered no response. Instead, when Minho looked up, he rolled around hysterically with phone in hand. “W-Why…You look so desperate,” he cackled loudly.

“No...” whinged Minho, reaching forward to pluck Taemin’s phone from him. “That’s so embarrassing!”

Rolling out of the way, Taemin couldn’t contain the squeal which escaped his mouth as Minho lunged at him and trapped him against the grass below. Taemin beamed up at Minho’s red face, popping a grape in the older boy’s mouth as he moved to say something.

“Oh! You caught it!” exclaimed Taemin excitedly, and Minho didn’t even have time to process what had happened before a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Minho squeaked in shock before sinking into the embrace, and reciprocated almost immediately. The two spent a while simply laughing and mucking around on the grass, before soon, it became too difficult to see where they even were under the sunless sky.

Relaxing on the rug side by side, Minho and Taemin looked up at the vast array of stars beyond them. They had opted to lay down, and suddenly affected by the cold, strong winds that blew from every direction, Taemin snaked his hand down to entwine it with Minho’s.

Minho grinned giddily, and gave Taemin’s hand a tight squeeze.

“Hey, Minho?” Taemin spoke gently, as though he was afraid to break the calm silence surrounding them.

“Mm?”

Taemin hesitated for a few seconds. “Have you told anyone yet?”

He was met with silence, and Taemin briefly considered that Minho hadn’t heard him. But as he went to repeat the question, Minho finally spoke.

“Not yet.” he replied. “But I will.”

“Me too.” spoke the dancer, reassured. “I’m not scared or anything…But I am, at the same time. If that makes any sense.”

Minho laughed breathily. “Not really.”

Sighing, Taemin went on to elaborate. “I’m not scared that they’ll judge me, or the fact that it’s you I’m dating rather than a girl, but…To say it aloud and make a deal out of it makes it seem a lot more daunting. Because then it becomes awkward and…yeah, I don’t know.”

“I getcha, don’t worry.” Minho spoke, turning his head to kiss Taemin softly on the cheek. “Then we just won’t ‘tell’ them. Maybe next time I come over, we’ll casually just hold hands or something like that. Or maybe drop some hints so they’ll ask you instead.”

Taemin grinned widely, a light blush tingeing his cheeks. “You always have the best ideas.”

“Don’t I?”

Minho yelped as Taemin slapped his leg not-so-lightly, and turned his head to see an evil smirk upon his boyfriend’s face.

“Don’t be cocky,” Taemin tutted, and rolled his eyes at the faux look of hurt imprinted on Minho’s face. He leant forward for a kiss, and all of a sudden, the brief animosity between them was gone.

Jonghyun was fairly certain he hadn’t left his room in four whole days other than to go to the toilet, and even then, it was for a mere minute at a time. His bed had become his safe haven – hiding from nothing but his own fears and guilt. Cursing his fragility, Jonghyun cocooned himself within his blankets and stared at the door with forlorn.

His stomach growled in anger, but with the air conditioner on and his blankets draped over him leisurely, he would’ve much rather continued to indulge in luxury than leave his room for some mere food. The guilt that he felt after the whole ordeal with Kibum was stifling, even more so because he knew that he couldn’t even do anything about it. Kibum was trapped in a house with an abusive father, and deep down, Jonghyun knew that it was partially his fault.

If he had only controlled his emotions for once in his life and stayed out of Kibum’s business when he was asked, then would Kibum’s father still treat him so terribly? Sure, he wasn’t the reason Kibum was gay – the younger had stated that he had always known he was, after all. But if Jonghyun hadn’t appeared in Kibum’s life, flirted with him, and taken their relationship to the next level, then perhaps Kibum’s father wouldn’t have had an excuse to take action.

Kibum’s words rang loudly in his head.

“It’s your fault.”

“Everything was fine before you got here. My dad was fine before you got here!”

“Being with you is so hard.”

Jonghyun felt he was the cause, yet nonetheless, was too selfish to ever think of leaving Kibum. Because Kibum’s life wasn’t the only one who had changed upon the beginning of their relationship. Jonghyun’s had too. Before, he was writing songs pointlessly day on end, flittering in and out of a depression which left him consistently powerless and without motivation. Kibum had ended that. Now, Jonghyun had a reason to get out of bed every day. He had a reason to write songs, and he had something to strive towards.

So despite his fear of Kibum’s father, and the utter guilt which infected every bone in his body, Jonghyun could never give him up. It was that thought that left him stuck in his room for days on end, staring at the roof with a blank gaze and sleeping for an amount unnatural to most humans.

Jonghyun was, to put it simply, afraid of rejection. He wanted to apologize to Kibum, yet at the same time, didn’t want Kibum to see his faults. Like his own father had done to his mother, Jonghyun was afraid that Kibum would eventually realise that he wasn’t all that great, and leave him for someone else who didn’t cause him this much trouble.

It was an endless game of cat and mouse, one that Jonghyun was only knocked out of by a loud knock on his bedroom door.

“Jonghyun, honey?” came the concerned voice of his mother.

Jonghyun grumbled in response.

“Honey…do you need to talk to me about something? Did something happen with Kibum? Or maybe Jinki?”

“I’m okay, mum. J-Just…what day is it? My phone went flat.”

He could hear his mother sigh from the other side of the door, and flushed rouge. He hated his mother seeing him like this, but despite the shame, he simply couldn’t will himself out of it. “It’s Tuesday, Jonghyun. It’s been a week. Roo wants to see you.”

Abruptly, Jonghyun sat up straight and stared at the door in astonishment. A week had already passed? A week of him snacking on packets of chips and chocolate which he kept under his bed and drinking water from the bathroom sink.

He briefly considered what he had planned for the week and cursed aloud when he remembered that tomorrow was Wednesday. The day that Kibum’s mother had told him was parent teacher interviews. The day he could finally see Kibum again and apologize. The fear and guilt lingered, but Kibum’s wellbeing resonated at the forefront of his mind in spite of his other foreboding thoughts. Pushing his blankets down to his ankles, Jonghyun called through the door. “I’ll be out in half an hour.”

Jumping a few times to assure that his precariously balanced camera wouldn’t fall when dancing, Kibum grinned when it remained steady and moved to turn on the speakers. The past few weeks had got him thinking about his future, and while pursuing law or something similar was probably more practical and expectant of him, what Jonghyun and he had talked about so many months ago still resonated in his mind. University would provide him with a degree – that was certain. But it would do the same for so many others. Why pursue something that he has no interest in whatsoever to please those around him, when he could finally do what he wants for once and achieve his dream?

That’s why Kibum had decided he was going to apply for Korea National University of Arts. Many people already knew how much he enjoyed dance, so it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise. Yes, it was university. And he could still obtain a degree. But he could focus solely on his dancing while he was doing it, killing two birds with one stone. To Kibum, it was the perfect compromise, not that he was going to tell anyone bar his small group of friends and Jonghyun.

With the prospect of freedom in mind, Kibum pressed play on his chosen song and hurriedly ran back to the centre of the room, proceeding to dance like he had never danced before.

Wiping away the sweat upon his forehead, Kibum dropped onto the dance studio floor and breathed heavily. After dancing a few times over and looking over the recording, the video was finally done, and all that was left was for Kibum to send it, along with his application, to the university of his choice.  

Dread remained at the pit of his stomach at what tomorrow would bring – his parent teacher interviews. All the lies he had told up until now weighed on his shoulders, but all Kibum could do was pray that his parents would only ask about his grades and that the teacher would just go along with everything they said. Despite his optimism, a bad feeling remained in the back of his mind. A bad feeling that Kibum just couldn’t shake off.

Before he could contemplate it for much longer however, the door to the dance room opened, and in walked Taemin and Minho. Kibum smiled at them brightly and went to look back down at his phone before –

His head shot up quickly, studying the two boys before him. Kibum’s eyes had not been fooling him, because right there, clear as daylight, were Minho and Taemin holding hands as though they had been doing so their whole lives. Kibum coughed loudly, gesturing down at their entwined hands with a raised eyebrow as the two looked his way. Minho flushed brightly in embarrassment whilst Taemin beamed and lifted their hands higher for display. “We’re dating now,” he spoke bluntly, glancing up at Minho with admiration in his eyes.

Astonished at Taemin’s sudden bravery and confidence, Kibum could only thank you Minho inwardly at returning the younger boy’s feelings. He didn’t deserve to be rejected twice, and Kibum hoped that Kai was somewhere regretting the loss of a great friendship.

He cheered aloud at the revelation and congratulated the two, but both Minho and Taemin could see that there was a light missing in his eyes. “Is everything alright, Kibum?” asked Minho concernedly, thinking back to the suspicions he’d had about Kibum’s life outside of school.

Kibum blinked. “Of course it is.”

Sighing inwardly, Minho could only nod at Kibum’s response before he and Taemin took a seat on the floor beside him. “How about Jonghyun? I haven’t seen him in a while…”

Kibum visibly stiffened, attempting a casual shrug. “I don’t know, he’s probably fine.”

“Haven’t you been talking to him?” spoke up Taemin, discretely sharing a worried look with Minho.

“Not recently, no. And can you stop fucking looking at each other like that? Jonghyun and I don’t need to spend every goddamn second of the day together to be happy.”

Overcome with guilt, Minho and Taemin softly apologized, though Kibum’s ears picked up on the low, “Sure seems like that from the way you’ve been acting recently,” which Minho muttered beneath his breath.

Choosing to ignore him, Kibum directed his attention to Taemin. “So how did you two get together, anyway?”

Taemin blushed. “I kinda just yelled at Minho for ignoring what had happened a few weeks ago, and then he confessed he didn’t dislike the kiss, and then um…yeah, you know how it is.”

Bouncing on his legs excitedly, Kibum sighed contentedly. “Who knew that so much would happen this year?”

Minho agreed wholeheartedly, but Taemin remained silent. Kibum regarded the youngest of the three with curiosity, before he finally spoke up.

“This year’s been great and all, but…I just don’t know what’s gonna happen next year when you both leave. I don’t have many friends here, if it wasn’t already obvious.”

The mood was all of a sudden dampened considerably, and Kibum looked at Taemin with empathy in his gaze. He knew all too well what it was like to go to school each day with no friends to sit with. Quite frankly, it was horrible. There was no will to get out of bed in the morning, no will to study hard. But Kibum said to Taemin the only thing that he felt was right. “Just keep coming to school, Taem. Things get better. It might take a while but… they do get better.”

Taemin nodded, albeit reluctantly, however was hurriedly comforted by Minho who wrapped an arm around Taemin’s shoulder and planted a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll come visit you here every day,” he laughed warmly, rolling his eyes at the sly expression Kibum sent his way.

“Aren’t you two the cutest thing to ever bless this universe?”

Cheeks reddening, Taemin shied away from Minho’s embrace, though still remained comfortably situated within his arms. Minho simply laughed off Kibum’s comment, and instead moved to change the topic. “Are you going to parent teacher interviews tomorrow?”

With a loud grumble of annoyance, Kibum nodded. “Yeah, I have to. Are you?”

“Yep – Jinki and Luna wanna hear all about my grades and potential scholarships and whatnot… I’m not too pumped about it but hey, at least they don’t go for too long.”

Kibum mentally applauded Minho’s optimism, though it was safe to say that he did not harbour the same hope as his fellow third year.

Out of curiosity, Taemin reached forward to snatch Kibum’s camera from his grasp, however it was already too late. The school bell signalling the end of lunch time sounded loudly throughout the room, and Kibum jumped up hurriedly with a small poke of the tongue at Taemin. “As if I’m letting you see this, you little shit.”

Taemin stood up and smirked devilishly. “I knew it, it’s a fucking porno of you and Jonghyun.”

Minho burst into laughter at that, ruffling Taemin’s hair fondly upon gauging the expression on Kibum’s face.

“In your dreams, Taem. For your information, it’s just a dance I choreographed.”

Shoving Kibum playfully out of the dance room door and into the corridor, Taemin commented offhandedly. “Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say. Don’t worry, little Kibum, your secret’s safe with me.”

At that, Kibum could only roll his eyes, giving Taemin one last wave before Minho and he made their way back down to the third year classrooms.

The following evening brought Kibum and his parents back to his school for day that Kibum had been dreading for so long. He regarded the other students with slight jealousy clouding his eyes, watching as their parents patted their shoulder proudly and congratulated them on a year well done. His mother made polite conversation and commented on the school every now and then, however his father remained utterly silent and stoic, trailing behind with a harsh expression permanently printed onto his face.

Unsurprisingly, his family had shown up earlier than their designated time, and were left to merely wander around the third year building until they were called into Kibum’s classroom. Kibum expected to run into a few people he was acquainted with, but what he wasn’t expecting was to see Minho, Jinki and Luna making their way up to his family, all with equally wide and carefree grins on their faces.

“Hey, Kibum!” Minho called across the hall upon spotting the other boy.

Kibum beamed and gestured Minho over, though it was obvious to see that the family’s joyous demeanour wavered upon meeting Kibum’s father’s dark stare.

Jinki stiffened as he regarded the burly man – this was surely Kibum’s father. Though some of their features appeared very similar, Kibum’s youthful and caring nature juxtaposed with his father’s unforgiving one made it obvious that the two males were complete opposites. Jinki recalled Minho’s concerns about possible abuse, and felt his own eyes narrow to a glare in caution.

Pushing his prejudice and doubts aside, Jinki stepped forward with a kind smile and offered his hand for a shake. “Hi, I’m Jinki! Nice to mee—“

“Aren’t you a little bit young to be a father?”

Jinki paused, shocked, and slowly retracted his hands. Never before in his life had he been greeted with something so blunt, and all of a sudden a piece of the puzzle concerning Kim Kibum found its way into the picture.  Kibum’s chatter with Minho came to an abrupt halt and he looked at his father with disbelief, ears flushing red in utmost humiliation. “I’m sorry, Jinki…” spoke Kibum softly, eyes apologetic.

“No, no. It’s fine.” Jinki reassured brightly, before redirecting his attention back to Kibum’s father. “Minho’s actually my brother. And this is my wife – Luna.”

Kibum’s mother smiled politely and offered a quiet, “Nice to meet you”, however his father remained silent, assessing the family for a few long seconds before finally harrumphing in acceptance. He offered no more words, nor any handshakes, leaving Jinki to stand there awkwardly on edge.

Giving one last wave to Kibum, Jinki took Luna’s hand and gestured for Minho to follow, pointing at an open classroom door to the right. “That’s us guys, c’mon.”

Kibum waved, yet his cheerful conduct immediately changed upon their departure. Words couldn’t describe how much Kibum loathed the man beside him. He was disgusted at his rudeness and treatment towards others, and never before had Kibum been so embarrassed to call that man his father.

Yet before he could think about it for too long, a door slightly up the hall opened and Kibum’s mother took another glance at the paper in her hands. “This is us,” she spoke, before the family of three promptly made their way towards the designated classroom.

Kibum wiped his sweaty hands against his jeans before greeting his teacher politely. “Hi, Miss. This is my mother and father.” Kibum gestured to his parents, swallowing thickly at the sudden icy atmosphere which shrouded the room.

“Hey, Kibum. Hi, Mr and Mrs Kim. Take a seat.”

Upon sitting across from the teacher, she took a pile of papers from her bag next to her and spread them over the table. “So, as you can see from this report card,” she pushed it closer to the family, “Kibum has been doing excellent in class. He’s averaging A’s and A pluses, though he’s got the occasional B plus in maths. His English is phenomenal, though, so I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about.”

Kibum’s father snatched the report card from the desk and studied it himself with a scrutinising stare. He grumbled something incoherent about the math grade, but Kibum ignored that to instead beam at the proud look upon his mother’s face.

“Now,” spoke his teacher again. “Final exams begin next week, so make sure Kibum continues to study hard – maybe boost that math mark a little bit. Kibum has written down that he is interested in studying law, but I also understand that Kibum wants to pursue dance or fashion design in the future so he doesn’t need to worry too much about it. Math isn’t the top priority.”

Yes, Kibum thought. Coming here was most definitely a mistake. His fists clenched the fabric of his pants and his blood ran cold at the teacher’s words, cursing the day he ever told her or anybody else about his interests and dreams for the future.

“He wants to pursue what?” questioned Kibum’s father slowly, though it was clear that he had heard the woman’s words perfectly.

“Um… dance?” she repeated unsurely, eyes flickering to gauge Kibum’s reaction.

Kibum ignored her gaze and instead chose to stare a hole in his lap, fearing the words which were definitely to come.

“Dance?” the man gritted out, teeth clenched in anger. “Boy, I thought you told me that was for the third year prom.”

The teacher sat dumbfounded, looking on confusedly. “Prom? What prom?”

Kibum wanted to cry. His father’s face was reddening in anger by the second, and Kibum could tell that it wouldn’t take much more for him to explode. He thought back to when he had told his father about the ‘prom’, and wanted to beat himself up for not thinking about it more carefully. The interview had only just begun, but already, Kibum’s intricate spiral of lies was being gradually unravelled and leaving all of his secrets in the bare open.

“We’re gonna have a little talk about this dancing later.” his father growled lowly, and Kibum’s mind shot back to the feeling of a large hand striking his face painfully. He visibly flinched.

“Um…Well…On another, more positive note, I suppose… Kibum’s made a lot of friends this year, which is great. I’ve seen him around school with Choi Minho and Lee Taemin, so I’m glad he’s found a nice group of friends.”

Kibum’s mother nodded, content, recalling that Jonghyun didn’t go to high school and praying that her husband wouldn’t pick up on the absence of his name. But the man was sharper than she took credit for, and the woman could only glance at Kibum with worry clouding her vision.

“And what about this Jonghyun I keep hearing of?” Kibum’s father practically spat Jonghyun’s name out. “In Kibum’s history class. Hasn’t been trying any funny business on my son, I hope.”

The teacher sat anxiously, scouring her mind for any student in Kibum’s history class who was possible named ‘Jonghyun’. It came back blank, and although she wanted to protect her student from the terrifying man before her, she could help but speak honestly beneath the man’s ruthless glower.

“I… I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know who you’re talking about. That Jonghyun mustn’t go to this school.”