#but i also really just wanna make more vast error art

[minimoll7]

The one thing I like about drawing slimes in that simple, chalk style, is that its nice and quick. A huge reason why I don't really post art that much anymore at this point is that I don't like how long it takes, I start a lot of stuff but never really finish them

But this drawing style is a lot quicker and doesn't hurt my hands as much. I'd love to apply it to other stuff tho, not just Slime Rancher art. I just don't know how well I'd be able to pull it off. It is lineless art but because of the brush I'm using, some colors don't stand out as well as they otherwise would. Not sure what exactly I'll do but I think I can figure something out, eventually

[saiyuri-dahlia]

For the character ask (you know I have to): Shad

I know you had to do it and I am very happy that you did it because I am always ready to talk about Shad. In fact, I’d be more sad if no one sent me Shad whenever there’s a character/shipping post.

Why I like them: He’s just so adorkable in the same vein of Milo Thatch or Otacon. And I don’t know how much of it is projection or canon at this point, but I relate to him quite a lot. He’s a nice guy and a good male option to pair with Link to have just a sweet, healthy relationship with—and there was a time where those options were very limited.

He’s good at reading but he wants to help, even though he doesn’t feel like he can contribute much—except he can. He gets visibly happy when Link says yes to listen to his research but also gets super pouty face when you tell him no. He’s got big blue puppy dog eyes that you can’t say no to and this one defiant curl that rests on his forehead

Why I don’t: There’s not too much to dislike about Shad, but I’m not a fan of the little Oocca faces on all of his buttons. Also, the fact that he has Oocca faces on his buttons makes me wonder how the Oocca have not already been discovered or depicted in some historical artifact. Like, how can he know what something looks like when he’s the leading researcher on the thing he’s trying to discover that no one else has seen before? How does he have Oocca faces when he’s never seen an Oocca before???

Favorite episode (scene if movie): When he’s in Kakariko Village studying the Owl Statue I love how he looks in his idle stance in the glow of the surrounding lamps casting an orange light on the red ochre walls around him.

Favorite season/movie: Not applicable, since only the one game, y’know. I’d love to see a direct TP sequel.

Favorite line: "Well, I'm formidable at book reading, but I lack, shall we say, physical skills.” Same, Shad, same.

Favorite outfit: He only has the one, lol But I also like seeing fan arts that put him in fancy clothes that he’d wear at Royal functions. And sweaters. Shad probably has so many sweaters. Shad probably even has lightweight summer sweaters because he looks good in sweaters.

OTP: Shadlink—I’m gonna try to be brief here but first, there’s the really nice opposites attract dynamic that they have and the ways that their differences in personality and skills can complement each other nicely. And there’s a nice height difference between them that I enjoy. That’s the long and short of it. For a more in depth explanation, see my body of work for reference.

Brotp: Ashei and/or Ilia— I want at least the four of them to be one big friend group that always has each other’s backs, ready to ride or die at any trouble, but also willing to call him out when he’s being a twat. Also, to tease him mercilessly about his crush on Link and play matchmaker for them.

Head Canon: Too many to count, but Shad is one of those students that the vast majority of his professors can’t stand. He always asks too many questions, takes too detailed notes, isn’t afraid of pointing out errors in their lectures, and is unfortunately their best student and the only one that ever raises his hand to answer their questions to the class. And the thing is that same feeling for some of his professors is mostly mutual from Shad. He’s often bored and half-asleep while growing increasingly vexed that somehow his esteemed professor in Zora literature doesn’t see much difference in Upper Zora versus Lower Zora in translation and believes it’s no different than saying the same word in a different accent when the connotations of words can mean vastly different things depending on the two.

Unpopular opinion: I’m not sure because I don’t think fans have much of an opinion of Shad to begin with. I have seen a handful of TP playthroughs that make fun of Shad and give him a mocking name or a silly voice, which I find disappointing because his character doesn’t do anything to warrant such mocking, aside from him being a nerd. It got really tiring to see, so much so that I don’t watch TP playthroughs anymore.

A wish: Most of my wishes for Shad involve a long and happy relationship with Link, but I know those will never be made canon. Something that could be made canon, however, is that either Link tells him about the City in the Sky or takes him there in a sequel game...and that Shad is Link’s companion throughout the whole game.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Okay, I’m gonna side-eye the manga for a bit on this, but I don’t wanna see him get his heart broken. Don’t let Ilia break his heart. Ilia and Shad both deserve better than that. I hope that it’s a mutual, gentle letdown. I want them to be able to remain friends, and not for there to any awkwardness between them.

5 words to best describe them: adorkable, well-educated, sweet, thorough, classy

My nickname for them: Bird Nerd, my sweet baby, my darling son, my little duckling child, cinnamon roll

[artificialqueens]

Échappé / Chapter 10 (Branjie) - DenDenMonMon

A/N: All through this story I have thanked svpermodel for the prompt, and every single one of you for taking the time, not only to read, but also to comment on this story. Yet, there is one person who I have purposely left till the very end. Bernice, thank you for being the amazing beta that you are, for always cheering me on, for calling me out when needed, and for understanding my poor, Mexican, Spanish speaking ass and never judging my million typos, spelling errors, or invented words. This story wouldn’t be half of what it is today if it weren’t because of you. Now, here’s the final installment of the amazing journey that Échappé has been. Thanks for riding it with me and hopefully you will join me on the next adventure. -Monkey.

AO3 Link

Chapter 10

Vanessa wiped her hands on the apron tied to her waist.

Instrumental music filled the air around her.

All the dishes had been washed and the leftovers had been wrapped and put in the fridge. She looked around the vast kitchen, making sure that not one thing was left out of place.

A content smile took over her face. She never imagined, not even in her wildest dreams, that this would be her life, that this would be her house, her kitchen. Her eyes travelled across the many utensils and cooking devices, from the complex coffee maker to the state of the art oven that she still couldn’t fully understand. And the kitchen was not the only impressive room. When she walked through the hallways of the place she got to call home, it felt almost unreal. If someone had told her years ago, that she was going to be living in a mansion-like house, she would have laughed in their face. She never expected to have such an amazing life, and she made sure to be thankful for it every single day. The little girl in her, the one that made the arduous trip from Puerto Rico, always reminded her that things shouldn’t be taken for granted.

The sound of high heels echoed through the wide corridors, breaking her out of her bubble of gratitude. Craning her neck, she managed to see the shadow trying to tip-toe past the kitchen entrance.

“Elena?” Vanessa called out.

The figure stopped, hunched at the realization of being caught, then stood straight. “Vanessa, hi,” Elena said as casually as she could, purposely staying away from the light cast from the many bulbs in the kitchen. “I was just heading out.”

Vanessa removed the apron and threw it on the island. “Well, come here, baby girl. Lemme give you my blessing. I’m praying to all the saints and angels that you have a good night.”

“Geez, thanks, really. I just… don’t wanna be late. Lemme–”

“Nonsense!” Vanessa insisted, her hands motioning for Elena to move closer.

Reluctantly, the girl listened. She walked towards Vanessa with slow steps. She wasn’t even in the room yet when Vanessa realized why she had put some distance between them.

“Oh, no! You ain’t going nowhere dressed like that!” Vanessa exclaimed, her eyes rapidly registering the short dress, the tight waist, the deep cleavage, the spaghetti straps.

Elena’s shoulders dropped dramatically as she sighed deeply. “Vanessa, come on.”

“No,” she stated firmly. “Don’t you be getting no ideas. You listen to me and go change into something decent.”

Crossing her arms on top of her chest, Elena squared her shoulders up. “You can’t make me. I’m going to be twenty one next month. I can drink, I can vote, I can wear whatever I want.”

“Not while you are living under my roof, mija.”

Elena stomped her feet on the floor, one at a time, just like she had subconsciously learned from Vanessa. “You mean Brooke’s roof.”

She finally understood. Vanessa had heard the saying many times, but words had never hit her like a ton of bricks before. If she were wearing any pearls, she would have been clutching them right then and there. Instead, she had to settle with wrapping her fingers around the pendant of her favorite necklace; the one that Brooke gave her on their first anniversary. It was a golden plate that spelled Toes. The capital T and the artistic tail of the letter s dug into her skin, still, the pain on her palm didn’t come close to the one in her heart.

“I-I can’t believe… the level of… disrespect!” Vanessa heard the spirit of her mom putting words in her mouth. She had heard the same words coming from her mother when she was a rebellious teen, and now she was the one pronouncing them. “My mom warned me,” she thought out loud. “You are gonna pay once you have your own kids, she said. I never thought I would get my punishment from you; not after everything I’ve given you.”

Elena rolled her eyes, unaffected by the Hispanic guilt that Vanessa was trying to play on her. “Okay, okay. My bad. I didn’t mean to be rude, okay? I’m sorry,” she apologized, extending her arm across the breakfast bar, knowing fully well Vanessa was too far to reach. “Just… I need to make a good impression.”

Vanessa lifted her hands in the air, her brown colorized curls caressed her spine as she threw her head back. “Your brain is all you need, mama. That head of yours is so fucking smart, they are gonna be blown away by your intelligence.”

Suddenly, Elena was eleven again, smiling shyly and blushing at the compliment. Vanessa had always believed in her, she was there for Elena, pushing her to be better. Ever since that rainy day, almost ten years back, when Elena’s life had been turned upside down, Vanessa promised to always be there, no matter what, and she had kept that promise. The girl said goodbye to her biological mom that day, but she welcomed a best friend, a guardian angel, to take over that empty spot. Vanessa had fought for her, had done so much to stay in her life, all because of the endless love she had for the girl.

It took months. The trial for Elena’s custody had been long, hard, and expensive. They were not blood related, and the law said the orphan kids should stay with the immediate family. Elena had her grandmother, even an aunt from out of town offered to house her. Vanessa wouldn’t have it. That was her baby, she had helped her grow up; she wanted to adopt her and continue doing so. Above everything, Vanessa loved Elena as her own daughter already, and she made sure that Elena never forgot that. Not even ten years later, when Elena was getting ready for a Christmas dinner, trying to impress all the important partners of the law firm she worked for.

“Yeah, I guess,” Elena agreeing with her landed Vanessa in the present of their argument. “When they talk to me, they will know how smart I am. With this,” she said pointing to her outfit. “They can look at me and see that I’m not just a boring nerd, that I can also be fun.” She shook her shoulders, trying to make the conversation take a lighter tone. “Plus, this shows off my dancer’s legs. You know how hard we have worked for them.”

For a moment, it almost looked like Vanessa was considering the arguments. Almost.

“No,” Vanessa repeated. “That’s a slutty dress.”

“It’s yours,” Elena stated, annoyed.

Vanessa didn’t miss a beat, she shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, just because Imma slut it don’t mean you have to be one too.” And that was it, that was the end of the conversation. “Go up, change, and check with me before you leave.”

With a loud huff, Elena turned around and marched down the hallway.

“Count to twenty-five, cause ten ain’t gon’ be enough,” Vanessa shouted after her, then continued to herself, knowing fully well the girl could no longer hear her. “My ass had to count to forty the other night. That didn’t lead me nowhere. Blame your mommy Brooklyn for being so damn irritating.”

She didn’t wait, Vanessa trusted Elena enough to have a better judgment, and went up the stairs to get ready herself. She turned off the lights as she went. It didn’t matter how much money they had now, there was no way she was going to let the power bill run up. She was constantly reminded that there was no need for her to worry about things like that. Even if she had all the money in the world - and Vanessa was pretty sure they did - there was no way she was going to change her ways.

During a heated argument, Brooke had accused her of keeping a poor mentality. ‘You were taken out of poverty, but poverty will never be taken out of you,’ had been Brooke’s exact words. She had been right, Vanessa proudly agreed with her, disarming Brooke and forcing her to drop the subject.

Over the last decade, Vanessa and Brooke had had many ups and downs. Their love life had been one hell of a roller coaster of emotions, but they wouldn’t have had it any other way. Brooke, asking Vanessa to direct the center with her, had been a decisive point for them. Accepting to work together secretly meant admitting their feelings for the other, which they openly did a few weeks later. There was nothing to hide, they were in love and wanted to be part of each other’s lives. By the time the center was fully rebuilt they were already living together; and when Vanessa signed as a partner of the ballet company, an engagement ring waited for her on the last page of the contract. Their lives were joint professionally, personally, spiritually.

Spending so much time together only ensured that their big personalities were meant to crash more often than not. They were both stubborn and had very clear visions of what they wanted, which caused trouble at every creative meeting they had together. If things got really bad, they wouldn’t even talk to each other. Then a business trip would come along. Vanessa would travel to Miami, or Brooke would go back to Canada for a few days, and they would miss each other so much that the stupid dress color was no longer important.

It had been a long time since they last had an actual fight. They had learned to read each other, and finding common ground came easier with time.

Vanessa stopped at the top of the staircase, where a big painting of the family adorned the wall. Elena sat on a chair in the middle of the canvas, her eyes were cast down, as she read the book on her lap. To her right, with her hands placed on the back of the chair, and a leg extended behind her, Brooke was painted dressed in ballerina attire, head to literal toe. On the other side, striking a pose, Vanessa stood with her chin up high. Her sweet expression had been perfectly captured by the artist, who painted in extreme detail the sparkling fabric of her dress, the toned leg she had fully exposed, even the color on her toenails looked flawless.

She remembered how fun that session had been. Elena hadn’t had a problem, she only needed to sit down and pretend to read. Vanessa didn’t have an issue with posing, not even in the high heel sandals she was wearing. Brooke, who had insisted they all posed together for the painting, was the only one struggling. She constantly fell off the relevé, her back leg would get tired, the tiara slipped down and blinded her every other minute. They laughed and joked about how frustrated Brooke got. Ultimately, they decided to take a picture and let the painter do his magic on his own.

That was just an example of how beautiful their life was as a family.

As Vanessa made her way to the master bedroom, she look at all the pictures hanging on the walls. The hallways were decorated with the most important days of each of them. There were images of their wedding, Vanessa and Brooke looked into each other’s eyes, filled with love, smiles nailed to their faces. Both of them captured signing Elena’s adoption papers, came right after. The next one was at Vanessa’s graduation, when she received her bachelor’s degree in business administration. All the girls from the center and most of the ballerinas had been there, celebrating with her. The timeline of their lives continued with the photos of Madam Charles retiring, and Brooke becoming head of the ballet company. There hadn’t been a better option to direct the well-oiled machine that RuPaul had created than Brooke.

Vanessa pushed the door to their room with a smile on her face. She had really made lemonade out of lemons. And then, she spotted the tallest glass of lemonade that, up to that day, still quenched her thirst.

Brooke stood in front of the mirror. She had nothing but her underwear on, the black lace highlighting her pale Canadian skin. The strapless bra dug into her back, right where her muscles have gone soft and small rolls had taken place. The round ass was fully exposed, it may not have been as firm as before, but it still made Vanessa’s mouth water. The tiny thong disappeared right in the middle of her butt, covering only a portion of Brooke’s crotch. Her hair was pulled up in a tight bun, small pearls went around it, making the hairdo look even more elegant.

“You are never gonna believe what that daughter of yours tried to pull off with me?” said Vanessa in way of a greeting.

Without removing her eyes from her own reflection, Brooke smile. “I knew you were not going to approve that dress.”

Shocked filled Vanessa’s expression, who tried to talk to Brooke through the mirror. “Oh, oh! You saw it and didn’t say nothin’?”

“I did see it,” Brooke stated, matter-of-factly. “I told her to either change or walk really fast. Guess she wasn’t fast enough.”

“Ah, so this’ your fault then?” Vanessa crossed her arms, clearly upset, but Brooke simple shook her head.

“I did nothing wrong.”

“You are giving our daughter permission to be a hoe,” Vanessa pointed out.

Brooke chuckled, a can of hairspray travelling to cover the back of her head. “I’m not gonna apologize because I’m not in the wrong. Sorry.”

It was Vanessa’s turn to laugh. “Bitch, you just did.”

“Did what?” Brooke asked confused, not really following the conversation when her attention was mostly on herself.

“You said you were not gonna apologize then said so– You know what? Never mind, you are not even paying attention.”

“Of course I am.” Brooke spoke as she bent over, trying to grab her lipstick from the vanity. Her position only gave Vanessa full access to her butt, earning her a playful slap. “Hey!” She yelped as she rapidly turned around, facing a smiling Vanessa.

Their eyes met and it was as if time had stopped all together. It didn’t matter if they were just meeting each other for the first time or if they had been together for ten years, the admiration for the other still filled their eyes and warmed their hearts. Vanessa closed the gap between them, ducking her head as she wrapped her arms around Brooke’s waist. They didn’t move, even their breathing slowed down. Vanessa felt the heat exuding Brooke’s chest, and pressed her cheek even more firmly against her skin.

Brooke caressed her hair, pushing it back a little. “Hi, baby,” she whispered before pressing a kiss on the crown of her head.

“Hi, Mami,” Vanessa replied looking up, the smile still pasted to her lips. “I’m happy you didn’t put that lipstick on yet.”

“Huh?”

“Now I don’t feel bad about doing this.”

With a stretch of her neck, Vanessa connected her lips with Brooke’s. Smiles crashed with each other a couple of times, but soon the playfulness turned into real kissing. They both closed their eyes and allowed the moment to carry them away. There was no need for fight for dominance, and tongues didn’t battle for power anymore. It was all a well rehearsed dance that they had learned over time. Heads moved side to side in perfect synchrony as passion took over and the air around them became hotter.

Brooke took a step back, then another, Vanessa took the chance and pushed her against the wall. A loud huff left her lips, probably at the feeling of cold concrete against her hot skin.

Vanessa pushed her knee between Brooke’s opened legs. The height difference had never represented a problem for them, and it wouldn’t be this time either. Brooke bent her legs slightly and pressed her core against Vanessa’s knee. She rocked back and forth with her eyes closed and her mouth opened. Vanessa watched Brooke pleasure herself with her body, feeling her own underwear getting soaked by the image alone. She needed more, she needed to be an active participant of Brooke’s moment of ecstasy. Each of her hands went up to cup Brooke’s breasts. The hard wiring of the bra made it difficult for her to reach her goal. It took one desperate move, accompanied by a grunt, for Vanessa to pull down the garment, forcing it to hang loosely around Brooke’s waist. She opened her eyes in surprise, both at the sudden movement and at Vanessa’s groan.

She wanted to say something, it looked like Brooke was about to object, but any coherent thought flew out the window when the first finger went in. Brooke didn’t even register when Vanessa moved the thong to the side, but every nerve ending stood at attention when the second finger penetrated her.

The feeling of Brooke, tight around her fingers, her wetness dripping to her palm, was enough to make Vanessa shake with want.

“Baby, we can’t do this,” Brooke reminded her.

Vanessa knew, still didn’t stop. She slowly moved in and out, taking her time to explore a body that she knew by heart.

“We are going to be late,” Brooke insisted.

“I don’t care.” Wrapping her lips around a nipple, Vanessa tried to reply. “We can do as we want.” She sucked hard, at the same time that she pushed a third finger in. “They can’t tell us nothing.”

In the midst of moaning and panting for air, Brooke tried yet again to find her voice. “Bu-but Trixie and Katya–”

Nothing more needed to be said, Vanessa dropped her shoulders and released the breast from her mouth. “The fuck you had to bring up those hoes for?” Carefully, she moved her hand away, cleaning her fingers on a towel sitting next to them. “Talk about a mood killer.”

Even when she tried to pronounce those words in an angry tone, Vanessa knew Brooke was right. It was the opening night of the Nutcracker, a show that they both had been working very hard on. Once again, like a tsunami, the changes she had experienced in the last few years, hit Vanessa. She would have never imagined herself being the creative producer of a play of that magnitude, yet, there she was, getting ready to see it come to life, along with her wife. Her wife. She was married to the woman she had learned to love, because it came as a learning process. It hadn’t been love at first sight, or any other bullshit used in the movies. They had known each other to the very core, stripped the good, the bad, and everything in between, before they could see that they were meant to be together.

The memories of all those times Vanessa rejected Brooke flooded her mind. She hadn’t been easy, she had put up a fight, a pointless, useless fight; because Brooke had always wanted the best for her. Falling in love had come as a plus, an extra that made every other struggle worth it, an addition that changed her life only for the better.

Fully dressed, and with her makeup finished, Brooke went around and pulled Vanessa’s zipper up. “What are you thinking about, baby?”

“You know that step, that dance move,” Vanessa said, turning around. “You have your feet together, then you, like, slide them open.” She used her hands to explain the movement, hoping Brooke could follow her thought process. “You know which one, you do it a couple of times. Open, close, open, close.”

Brooke grabbed their coats, placing Vanessa’s around her shoulders. “Yeah, I know which one. Why?”

“Because that’s us, bitch. Before we knew we loved each other. We went like that when we first met; open and close, open and close. That was us! What’s the name of that step?”

Brooke laughed openly, pulling Vanessa closer to her as they made their way downstairs.

“That’s échappé, darling.”

“That’s us!” Vanessa repeated with a smile. “Échappé.”

The End

End Notes

Written 20190615 - 20191120

[lizardswithoutlegs]

HOOOOOWOWOAH BOY

ART ASKS

when i walk into a building i get to eat everybodys pencils and they cant say no

do it 

( also thanks for asking ! ) 

itd bother me a lot less if everybody came to my apartment and took one of these beautiful eggs

YEAH UNFORTUNATELY IM STILL..... WORKING THROUGH THE SAME WAITLIST but im comparatively REAL CLOSE to being done with it and i should be opening up sometime later in...... the Year

Boy Have I

theres This messy thing from a while back and then also

THIS, from even FURTHER back, when i didnt realize how fucking RED all the outlines on my things were because of the monitor i was using, two for the price of one

why not both

i do Not but it you ever see me walking on the street please throw handfuls of teeth at me theyre the only things my wretched body can digest and im always hungry

OH MAN ok so, an art telephone game is based on, of course, the game telephone, where one person says a phrase and then whispers it to the next person, and so on and on until the person at the very end says whatever they heard and if its done right the final sentence is wildly different than what you started with

an ART telephone game is the same kind of concept, except one person draws out a scene or character, and then other artists draw THEIR interpretation of whats going on, and so forth until the last person can end up with something COMPLETELY different than what the first scene was

youd think thered be less room for error with drawings, but as each person ONLY sees what the person ahead of them has made, they can get PRETTY OUT THERE - im gonna be a part of pythosarts game, and theyve done a couple of em before - for example one round started with THESE as the first two drawings

and then fourteen interpretations later, ended up with these as the final two

its good its real good

I Cant Control Where Bigfoot Goes, I Can Only Take Note Of Where Hes Been

YEAH, sort of ! on the main, iguanamouth, i have a bunch of different tags for art depending on what they are but not really a catchall one, BUT i do have an art only blog where everything gets tossed over ! 

HONESTLY THE ADVICE i got is basically what all art advice is gonna boil down to eventually - you gotta just. do it. you gotta DO it

absolutely nobody you know who draws things well started out at the level theyre currently at, and putting down the things youre visualizing onto paper is a combination of getting the the technical aspects down as much as getting the idea in your head

and that goes with figuring out anatomy and how bodies are put together ! ive got to use references for a Million things,. especially the dragon hoards - theres absolutely nothing wrong with using references for your drawings ! and being able to create accurate representations of things without looking is something that comes more with drawing something over and over and memorizing the body shape more than just, feeling like you should KNOW how to do something

so dont beat yourself up for needing references. if youre trying to shy away from them a little bit but still cant make something look nice without em, try using several different reference photos to put together an entirely different pose ? 

theres ALSO the SHRIMP METHOD, which is great for practicing and getting good at one particular thing - this probably isnt SUPER HELPFUL but good luck ! 

god i tried. exactly ONCE maybe fourish years ago but it wasnt art, i was trying to stream the lion king movie and i had no idea what i was doing, i didnt realize i needed to wear headphones so the sound wouldnt snowball into a feedback loop of my own voice that never ended but i kept laughing and it kept distorting worse and worse, like the audio version of saving and resaving something as a jpeg

it was just me and my friend ronni in the stream and ONE other person who never left and never said anything and i kept addressing them out loud like WHO ARE YOU and that only compounded the noise problem and eventually i gave up

anyway i havent tried since

i uhhhhh dont think i COULD, really - fear especially is something thats kind of subjective and one persons Big Terror could be neutral or even cute to another person

like for me i used to have a lot of childhood fears about the ocean, and how deep and dark and vast it was, to the point where i couldnt play a lot of water levels in video games, even ( but i had almost drowned several times when i was Very young which probably had, a little somethin to do with that )

maybe sometime ill try to explore things IM afraid of, but its hard to encompass a psychological response in an image !! could be a fun experiment, though ! !

a few PLANT ANIMAL AZKZ, HUH, DONT HAVE A WORKING Z KEY

SHIT DUDE THESE ARE... SO GOOD thats the official name EVEN IF i didnt use. a daffodil as the flower base. it doesnt matter 

yes

i got A BUNCH of flower and plant themed suggestions and theyre all REALLY GOOD ( way more than these ) but straight up im taking a break from em for a while - if anybody is else is reading this though you should definitely tackle one of em

WASABI ASKS

Do Not Feed Animals The Paste

i keep going back to read this ask because you could replace wasabi with my name and its the exact same. its the same. i feel like i have to hide somewhere

this was real and this is the award they gave us

there were other awards but the judges refused to give them out. they burned them in front of the other dogs. we won

it depends on the age ! wasabis pretty much an adult, so her sheds are pretty infrequent ( usually once every 7-8 months ) BUT when she was still growing back like 6 years ago, she would do a full-body shed every other month !

wasabi accepts tokens of appreciation in the form of : fruit, green beans. No Exceptions

i would never seperate wasabi from her hands

absolutely..... not. not even a little bit h h hh a this isnt a disney animal companion, i dont even know what “kind of like a dog” means with , a lizard who cant make any vocalizations or get up on their hind legs or NOTHIN sometimes if i hold a piece of fruit on my hand and she reaches for it she gets confused on whats what and tries to bite my fingers instead

ONCE WHEN SHE was attacking her reflection in a mirror i put my hand in front of her face to break eye contact and she SUNK HER TEETH RIGHT IN THERE but immediately let go like “oh whoops”

lissten . . .  wasabi is so sharp, just absolutely everywhere, and these are the sharpest. the grabbers

heres a lil battle damage from earlier today actually

this is pretty tame BUT the long long lines are from claws, and the thinner, closer together ones are from holding her and her scales scraping against the skin. so not even just the Body is completely safe ! this is not an animal youre gonna wanna get your face real close to if theyre in a walkin mood

she doesnt even MEAN to scratch the shit outta me, its just kind of a byproduct of being a big tree lizard. her tail is absolutely the worst thing to get hit by though. the WORST. lucky me she doesnt attack anything that isnt a dog or a vacuum cleaner or her own reflection

ahhh i got her when i was 16 ! and i dont know her exact age but she was somewhere between 3-6 months when i get her - SHES probably closer to 9 years, but ive had her for about 8

LENGTH THOUGH...... the last time i measured her she was just barely under four and a half feet, but that was a few months ago and its possible shes. Just Slightly larger. shes currently sleeping as i type this so i guess we will never know

duel me

too late for coats..... its all tail action now

ROCK ASKS AND ALSO ASKS ABOUT PUTTING ROCKS IN YOUR MOUTH

oh MAN i feel you . . . . . . . . . . i dont think i could actually Bear To Eat any for real but some of em. just. they. i gotta. just. bite on em a LITTLE just a little bit, a tiny bit, a nibble

when i was real young i used to tap things against my teeth to tell what kind of substance they were made of based on the feeling/hardness/density WHATEVER and i still sometimes do it when im checking stuff out and. it uhhhhh sure is interesting finding out not a lot of people did that

a handful of these delicious raw agates, just for you

please stop spying on me

i DO NOT but you may eat this piece of bornite

meet me at the airport and ill cover your bus fair

theres a lotta different ways to figure out what kind of rocks you got but when you have absolutely no clue on where to start your best bet is to search for the biggest distinctive features of it, and try to narrow it down based on the results

like for something like these pieces of chalcedony, you could try “waxy green translucent mineral”, and from the search results find a few candidates that might be what you have on hand, and then look into each one to see if you can get a definite answer 

ive got a handful of rock and mineral guide books that i always pick through whenever i snag something im not sure of, and if youre REAL into it those are always something you could start keeping an eye out for 

now this is a REAL superficial way to telling what something is and wont be useful for a good chunk of minerals ( as a lot of samples can look really close to something else ) and THIS is a much more in depth way of telling something apart, but its also a lot more time consuming ! so good luck. and good eating.

Just Try And Fucking Stop Me

ANIMAL ASKS THAT ARENT............ ABOUT MY LIZARD

im married to this one actually

fuck. ok. heres. a secret. a In the ask Post secret. wasabi goes through a period that lasts a month every single year where she carries eggs in her gut, and spends that month not eating and digging around in everything, trying to find the right spot to lay these eggs. and. when it happens i never know what to do with them, and i dont want to just THROW THEM AWAY so i. eat them. i eat the eggs. i fuckin eat the eggs dude

Theyre All Goddesses

unless you plan on having your lizard roam around outside whenever they want, the outside environment doesnt really matter much for most reptiles as long as you set their habitat up right ! BUT i do know that australia has bans on certain reptiles ( iguanas are one of them ) and so youre gonna have to look up whats actually available in that area 

 bearded dragons are native and those are always a good option, but so are a lot of geckos - its really gonna depend on what youre into ( but i dont really recommend anoles if thats an option, because theyre fast as Hell and dont like being handled )

what the fuck is a bee

oh geez im sorry ! i remember going through this with spiders a lot when i was younger to the point where looking at photos of em used to be a fuckin, TRIAL 

you could try a really gradual exposure deal, where you start off with getting comfortable with just images, and slowly working your way to dealing with one in a controlled setting ( like a petstore, maybe ? not HANDLING em or anything, but just being near one in a way where its absolutely impossible for them to touch you )

the shitty thing about this kind of phobia is that even if you KNOW its irrational theres sometimes not a lot you can do about it, but if you can stand looking at photos of them you could try learning up about them, and finding out the types of species youre likely to encounter around your house, and seeing how many ( if any ) are ones you should avoid ?

i know some people that have major problems with snakes are because theyre unsure if the ones they find are poisonous or not, and it might go a long way to confirm that the reptiles you meet wont be able to harm you even if they TRIED ( which is gonna be the case with a lotta house geckos, they cant do SHIT youre a GIANT )

very VERY few lizards have venomous bites, and the worst most of em can do is give you a bloody finger if theyre large enough, and even then its usually not much worse than a cat scratch !

still though, if youre really serious about trying to get past this, dont force yourself too quick into what you think you SHOULD be, and take tiny steps outta your comfort level when you can

this probably isnt uhhh SUPER helpful hh hhah but good luck !  shit im going through this post and its like ALL reptile photos. im sorry

i feel about them, with my hands

MMM it shouldnt HURT them unless theres something Really wrong, considering its a natural procession of growth, BUT its definitely itchy as hell, to the point where reptiles trying to remove it will drag their bodies over stones or walls tryin to get it off

sometimes wasabi drags her whole hind foot over her head like a dog to get it off and it is. a Sight

ahhh honestly there arent a lotta reptiles thatre gonna do much more than TOLERATE the touch and not really, enjoy it, like a dog or cat or bird

but speaking from experience with wasabi, youll probably want to avoid most the head and stick with the top of the back near the sides - wasabi doesnt enjoy having her tail messed with much either, but shes ok with her dewlap and feet being touched

the most important thing to keep an eye out for when youre touching one is their body language, because  THATS gonna be a dead giveaway for whether you need to back off or not

closing their eyes is a sign of stress, not enjoyment ! same with tilting the head back, but if thats ALL theyre doing then youre probably not gonna face any retaliation

B U T if theyve got an extended dewlap with a raised body or tail off the ground, not a good idea to interact with em ! thats a defensive posture, and you risk getting hit with a tail or even bitten if your hand gets too close

youve got more to risk with males, who are way more territorial and generally larger, but if they seem pretty chill when you approach and dont stand up and stare at you, youre probably in the clear

COCK of the ROCK

I HAVE im so jealous of anybody whos got to see one in person - actually handling one is a level beyond that which i could even comprehend

OTHER THINGS.....

no but i was bit by a pigeon once

this is the only joke i know

i fuckin WISH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ayy im into it - honestly i havent been following the band so much as just kinda, picking up whatever anybody else mentions and so my knowledge on Gorillaz Lore is pretty uhhhh h hh h scattered but im definitely interested in seeing where this goes

i remember watching the first and second season and it being pretty good - some of the episodes and jokes are hit and miss but you absolutely got me with the creature and alien design

havent seen any of the third season yet though !

i mean the fruit ones could be pretty up there 

how bout. an abstract concept. who cares about physical forms wheres the dragon of melancholy 

why come theres nothing to eat in my apartment but bread. im good otherwise but its all just bread

i havent watched either of em in YEARS and YEARS but i distinctly remember. these lil dancing mushrooms

oh wait FUCK 

FUCK !!!!!!!!!

no... NO.... she is not allowed to eat ANYTHING from the plan shelf, try as she MIGHT

im a little mad that this sill isnt bigger because the only other one that gets sun is in my room and wasabi WIll... absolutely eat those. no doubt. a convenient and expensive salad, for my awful gremlin 

god im looking at these and its all jade plants isnt it

little golden books taste the best but they can make you sick if you have too many at once. my favorite genre for snacking is sci fi fantasy but anything over 300 pages tends to get a little tough if you dont break it up with smaller chunks. non fictions always a gamble because the taste is wildly different each time but you can usually tell how ripe it is by the cover color

ayy im already a big fan of some of their stuff, ive got a couple songs from them in my music tag - im especially into i miss you and their shut up and bring it here remix

TOP FIVE THINGS

1

2

3

4

5

this is barely related but once i filled up a bathtub with water and then dumped about ten bags worth of mint tea into it and then just. soaked around in the tea. listen it was really nice. id try the cheese

i dont have any ships but i was on one of those model pirate boats once for a school trip. our boat was named naruto and the other one was named sasuke and the captains shouted “make them kiss” and ran them into each other. everybody on board drowned

youre trying to trick me into googling yoshi without shoes and its not going to work

me reading this message from the safety of my apartment :

nice try, but wrong again ! : )

THIS IS GOOD info, thank you

oh SHIT the other side of paradise, take a slice, life itself, and season 2 episode 3 are all my Big Faves

the way you phrased this makes me think you already have a strong opinion on it

hey uh. coming from a person who was absolutely CONVINCED that theyd be dead in the future when they were 12, a not insignificant part of that was me feeling that there was something irreversibly wrong with me for not behaving or acting in certain ways based on what was going downstairs

and obviously im still HERE but it means i can understand how devastatingly terrible it can feel when youre that young and it seems like the way you behave and feel are flawed, or dirty, and anything that can lessen that feeling and make you comfortable in your own body is huge, can save your life

not that im saying its always a LIFE OR DEATH decision !

i guess if youre viewing it as adults forcing a child into making decisions that you dont think theyre capable of understanding its easy to be hesitant about getting behind it, but nobody is forcing a child to be trans. nobody has tricked them into feeling this way. you cant just walk in and get started on treatment on an immediate whim - some programs require 2 YEARS of concrete evidence before theyll even consider it

i feel like you should try speaking to the parents of trans children before you really put down a concrete opinion on whether this is a good or bad thing, and seeing the difference ( if any ) its made in their lives 

people whove detransitioned, or found they had ultimately a different identity than the one they were exploring could also be an avenue to look intto ! i have several acquaintances who, after a period of years, found they werent trans but wouldnt take back the time where they were figuring out if they were, and i know this doesnt invalidate the friends i have who ARE 

ultimately this is what it boils down to for me : Its Sure Gotta Beat Being Dead

i WILL give you that ive definitely seen a lot of overreactions to seemingly innocuous topics on this website

but youve also got to keep in mind that everybody who is saying these things MEANS them, and to them theres a completely reasonable explanation to why they feel that way

im not saying you should blindly accept any criticism you get, but to instead try to get a grasp on WHY theyre responding the way they are instead of immediately dismissing it

its because i cant drive and they wont let me sit in the front on account of the smell

NICE THINGS

AHHHH I GOT.. a bunch of other really sweet messages to the point where id feel weird about putting em ALL UP BUT... IF YOU SENT ME SOMETHING i can promise i absolutely saw it and it made my day better and just, holy shit, thank you for taking time out of your life to say anything to me at all

because you didnt have to, even a little bit

youre all beautiful and im kissing you on the mouths all at once. no take backs