#but i AM scared bc im 25 and i've never ever met anyone i feel even a fraction for what i feel for him

[bunnihearted]

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[bunnihearted]

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and no but fr it's easy for ppl to say im dramatic or too much or 'should just get over it'. but i've never had love feelings like this for anyone ever... i could go into depth but that's just the jist: i love this person so deeply so deeply it's so rare and so all consuming. and i might seem lame or stupid or pathetic but these feelings have been controlling me for 1.5yrs... (the crush developed fast). like actually controlling my life and idk what to do abt it. and it freaks me out bc i have gotten over crushes!!! i had one on a guy i knew and was friends with, but i didnt realize i had a crush until after we had 0 contact w eo. and it took me like 4yrs until i could think of him without chest pain and dread in my stomach??? then i had one on my physical therapist, but bc that relationship was strictly professional and he had no platonic nor physical interest in me, and i didnt even see him when my sessions ended, i got over him in 1 year and now dont even think of him. but this is different... it's also different bc it is the most "romance" (like incl. any share sexual and platonic and affectionate energy etc) that i've also received from my crush. like this is even harder for me to let go bc even if it wasnt an actual relationship, it felt close to one (esp so for me since i've never even had a relationship). plus my feelings and thoughts and sentiments i expressed wasnt one sided. so ..... like i am genuinely scared abt how i will get past this bc i cant live w this pain??? since im extra emotional like much more than an average person it hurts so fucking bad like so fucking bad. and it scares me bc 1) i dont wanna feel like this plus i keep thinking of it and 2) if i keep feeling like this it will close me off from meeting new potentional connections. so like yeah ppl can be dismissive all they want but i really dont want to feel like this bc it hurts so bad and it drives me insane and it is actually affecting my life... like im unable to function properly bc like ppl with whole full lives and are also not made like me might be normal abt things but.. this was al i wanted dreamed abt and just felt so much for and like idk what to do without it and idk how to function w it.

ok yeah maybe i sound crazy but like genuinely i feel insane abt it. and ppl just tell u to move on but like ?!?!?!?!? i dont know i dont know. if i met the first person i've loved like this at 25 ... what does that mean???????? if just crushes have taken me years to get past, how long will this take and how much will it hurt??? im like genuinely terrified bc i cant even imagine my life without them 🙃🙃🙃 i cant imagine wanting anyone else or feeling this way with anyone else 🙃🙃🙃🙃 and i know what ppl say ok i know i know!!!!! but i just cant?? idk how to process that bc im 25.. and i have /never/ felt this way.... maybe it just sounds crazy but i think i was made for them (but its sad when they arent made for me ofc</3). and might sound crazy but everyone are different and i just needed smth like this and idk!!!! yes i sound crazy idc im like so scared of emotions and how deep they are and idk what to do. bc apparently therapists dont want u coming to them to talk abt this and like ummmmm what if i cant let this go and keep going insane forever. i saw someone say they had unrequited love for someone for 10yrs and couldnt get over it. what the fuck?!?!? i wanna scream like how is this real 😦😦😦😦 is there any drug for me to take to lose all my emotions?!?!? 🫨🫨🫨🫨