#but honestly i love their interactions from this period and i love romanticizing the hell out of them

[olliequeen]

both of them about to die here separeted from the other passangers isolated from the world..... i'm with you the whole distance.... all these people think love's for show but i would die for you in secret

[aikoiya]

LoZ - Gerudo Tolerances

I don't get the insistence that the Gerudo, just by virtue of being primarily women, would somehow make them a very progressive, feminist culture. Especially the modern interpretation of feminism.

If anything, it's more likely to cause them to be very conservative. Especially in regards to homosexuality, childlessness, & transgenderism.

Because, think about it. An all-female society that still reproduces the same way as humans MEANS that in order to keep the Gerudo population from going extinct, every single Vai HAS to have an average of at least 1 child.

And that means that if even 1 Vai doesn't do this, then some other Vai has to pick up the slack by having 2.

I don't think a lot of fans are really getting just how very dire the Gerudo's situation is.

They only get 1 male a century & men are not allowed into their town, so in order to reproduce, they have to go out & search for a man to reproduce with. (And that 1 male cannot be the only stud of the Gerudo or their race would've died out long ago as a result of incest.)

That means that they could encounter monsters much more easily.

All this in a world that has things like Gleeoks & Lynels.

Which means that if every single Gerudo isn't strong enough or skilled enough as warriors, they could die without leaving someone else to take their place.

Which means in order to successfully maintain a birth rate if not above the death rate, then at least at equilibrium with it, just to account for unexpected tragedy, then these women should have, on average, at least 2 kids, if not 3 just to be safe.

Yet, you only see around 6 little Vai at most & only 2 of them are stated to be sisters.

That... is very, very bad.

So, I hate to crush ya'll's dreams of a feminist paradise, but heterosexuality & motherhood is most likely not only expected, but enforced with extreme prejudice.

Because even one Vai not having kids is likely cause for at least mild panic. 2 even more so. And I don't wanna even think about the sheer alarm that would occur if there were more than that.

Even if 10% of the Gerudo population is non-straight, it is almost guaranteed that they would opt to simply live life in the closet & seal it shut forever rather than come out of it. Because there's no telling what would happen. No telling how the other Vai would react. What they'd do.

Especially if that Vai has no sisters herself.

Please, keep in mind the fact that the Gerudo are at least partially based upon Muslim nations, where homosexuality is punishable by death.

So, yes. Of effing course, the Gerudo are gonna seem one-note & too focused on romance.

They are constantly on the brink of extinction.

If I were in their position, I'd be obsessed with finding a man too.

Hell, in their situation, it'd honestly just be more practical to have one-night stand after one-night stand until pregnant.

But that sort of habit does something to your sense of self-worth.

If anything, romance is most likely a pipe dream in most situations, but not the expected outcome.

Especially considering some of these women grow up without any male interaction. Period.

Hell! There's at least 1 Gerudo who has, apparently, never even seen a real man before! This is freaking canon! And it shows by the simple fact that this lady is unable to maintain eye-contact with Link!

I can't even fathom the emmense amount of stress & pressure that this would cause to a young person.

Which is likely why romance is so... romanticized!

To give these girls hope that they'll find someone who they can love & be loved by in return & live happily ever after with.

Life is already stressful enough.

This would likely be debilitating without something to hope for, even if it is impractical.

LoZ Cultural Masterlist

[dylanobrienisbatman]

I literally do not understand, like I really don’t get it, how anyone could think the Darkling and Alina make a good pair. I can seriously ship Alina with everyone (hell even Nikolai) but him, cause it’s just so obvious that he’s hurting her. I don’t know, it’s literally impossible for me to see it. I don’t like the Darkling like at all, cause I don’t really think he’s well written, that’s is. I don’t consider him a well written villain but if somehow I did, I still wouldn’t ship him with Alina? I’d ship him with an evil OC? Cause to me it’s just something that totally doesn’t work and IT’S MEANT NOT TO WORK.

And as a Malina shipper, I must say that I’m tired of hearing that Alina “chose Mal” over the Darkling cause that’s not what happened. Alina didn’t have to choose between two guys, that’s not what the story is about. This is about Alina REFUSING the Darkling and that’s it. She chose HAPPINESS, and her happiness meant Mal, Genya, Zoya, Nikolai, Tamar, Tolya, Nadia, Misha etc... It’s not about what love story is better. What made me love the ending of the series wasn’t that Alina “chose the good guy over the bad guy”, it was that she wanted to get away from something/someone that hurt her and she MANAGED TO DO IT.

And a book targeted for teenagers published in 2012 (aka the period were toxic relationships where romanticized SO MUCH) that treats such themes, it’s really far more interesting than a story about a girl falling in love with a villain.

(Sorry for the long ask lmao)

Okay, well, sorry for the long response, but this is a WHOLE mood.

I personally think the Darkling is a well written villain, but that's mostly because he has the exact effect on the fanbase that Leigh was trying to prove by writing him the way she did, that attractive men can get away with pretty much anything because of their charm and their pretty faces, but overall I find him pretty lacking in a lot of ways. As an abuser, manipulator, and groomer, so specifically in his interactions with Alina, i think he's great, but overall in the story i find him kind of meh.

But honestly same!! Like honestly, I'm not really someone who enjoys "dark" ships. There are a few 'dark' ships that I've liked over the years, like early days Damon/Elena and Chuck/Blair (lol... to your point about romanticized toxic relationships...), but I was a lot younger when I was really invested in those ships, and as I've gotten older I really don't see the appeal in them as much as I used too. So I'm probably not the authority on what makes a good "dark" ship. But to each their own! Ship what you want! But to me, i hate it. Why would I want my heroine to be with someone who abuses her? Why would I want a strong female character to end up with someone who subjugates and controls her, and harms the people she loves? It's just not for me.

And yeah!! It's the misinterpretation of the ending that truly gets me. Alina would never choose the Darkling. Even if Mal had really died, and Alina had gone fully insane, I still dont think she would have been with him. If she had gone dark and went full power hungry crazy, I think she would have still killed him (@mal-zoya said it super well in this post). He hurt her friends, people she loves, like Nikolai and Genya, like Zoya, like Ana Kuya and the other teachers at the orphange, like Mal, and he hurt her. Even if she decided she wanted to become this immortal all powerful evil Grisha queen, it still makes no sense to think that she would side with the man who enslaved her. It just... doesn't make sense.

Alina didn't choose Mal OVER someone else, (possibly Nikolai, but still... not really? she never loved Nikolai?), she chose the life she wanted over the lives she didn't want. Even after her powers were taken from her (she did NOT give them up, despite what some people want to claim), she still could have become the Queen with Nikolai, or spent her life revered as Sankta Alina, but she chose to go live an ordinary life, full of ordinary things, full of friends who adored her and children who admired her and a husband who loved her.

I think the biggest thing that always gets lost is that the men in the story that were her 'choices', much like the hunger games 'love triangle', aren't just love interests. They represent paths that Alina can take during the story.

The Darkling represents greed and corruption. He represents a path where Alina loses sight of everything that is important to her and becomes the evil she is trying to defeat. Alina choosing The Darkling would be her loosing herself to her trauma and becoming a malevolent villain who torments the people she was meant to protect.

Nikolai represents political power and the need to be loved and worshiped by the people. He represents a path where Alina gives up the things she has always wanted for herself in pursuit of status and political power. Alina choosing Nikolai, and becoming the Queen, would be her abandoning her true calling, as the savior and protector of the people of Ravka, to rule them instead.

Mal represents humanity, sacrifice, and her true self. He represents the path Alina begins and ends the story on. Discovering that she is the Sun Summoner thrusts Alina into a life she didn't want as a child and never wanted, even by the end of the story. Harnessing the power of Morozova hurts her, and almost kills her. Accepting Nikolai's proposal makes her feel lonely, uncomfortable, and out of place. Alina choosing Mal, and by extension an ordinary life with the people she loves, represents Alina choosing to follow her heart, and to use her power for its true intention, to protect the people of Ravka and the world.

The power of the Sun Summoner wasn't granted to Alina so she could rule the world as some malevolent god-like figure, or be worshiped as a Saint, or rule the world as some immortal queen. The power of the Sun Summoner existed so that one day, someone who was pure of heart could step up and save the people of Ravka from the darkness and peril brought by The Darkling. The power of the Sun Summoner was granted to Alina because she had a pure heart, and because of her pure heart, she could withstand the greed for power, the corruption of the amplifiers, and the draw of political power and fame, to do the right thing and bring balance and peace back to the world. Her story is a beautiful thing because it reminds us that sometimes, the most important thing we can be is human, and kind.

[tonguetiedmag]

interview: as it is

Wrapping up The Great Depression Tour with only a handful of shows left , I caught up with Patty Walters from As It Is just before the group rocked out a set at The Hi-Dive in Denver to learn more about his favorite vegan eateries, rare studio-moments during the recording of the band’s latest release, and what it’s been like welcoming in a new permanent member.

What’s been your favorite part about this tour apart from other tours you’ve done?

“I think the camaraderie. We love the bands we brought out as bands, and as people. We didn’t know Point North or Hold Close as human beings before this tour, but we were fans of their music and their art, and we’ve gotten to know everybody over the course of however long it’s been, probably about a month now-- it’s bittersweet. Sharptooth were some of my closest friends on warped tour of last year, we’ve seen them on pretty much every day off as well. It’s just been one big happy family honestly this tour; I think that’s the bittersweet part, is you have such a good time when everyone’s here and that just makes saying goodbye a little more difficult. It’s been one of my favorite tours we’ve ever done over 6 or 7 years now.”

What’s been your favorite song from The Great Depression to play live?

“​The Wounded World i​ s always going to be a standout because of the relentless energy of it--I’m just a big fan of songs that really go 100 miles an hour throughout the whole thing, it’s absolutely one of those songs. Equally, opening with ​The Reaper ​has been so much fun, and ​The Question, The Answer​ has been a nice intimate moment. We weren’t sure if we were going to be playing it out here; it’s been such a fun part of the set, it makes it so much more dynamic and intimate. So there’s a couple standouts, but I think ​The Wounded World​ is probably my favorite moment of the set, which is why it’s last in the set and it’s the biggest climax and finale that we possibly could have created.”

Is there any song you wanted to put on the setlist that didn’t make the cut?

“Yes-- and part of the nature and the reason behind is that Ronnie [Ish, lead guitar] is a very new member and only knows so many of our songs right now, so we were limited to songs that we were playing on our most recent EU and UK headline run, which is why this setlist bears so much similarity to that one. But equally, we put so much time and effort and thought into this set so that it does feel theatrical and ... special-- It’s a set that we have all crafted and believed in. Adding “​Such Great Heights” ​[The Postal Service]​ t​ o the equation out here has been really fun, so there were a couple that we did manage to sneak in. I think we’re getting Ronnie there maybe one or two songs per tour, just learning the entire As It Is discography slowly.”

When did you guys know you wanted Ronnie to become a permanent member?

“For a while, it’s been a long time coming. Ron was in the studio when we were writing and recording The Great Depression, but Ronnie has been family for a long time--we met Ronnie in 2015 on the Vans Warped Tour, he was living on our bus. He, in the interim period, served as every different touring crew member...you could imagine, as tour manager, guitar tech, driver, and merch. The thing about it--and I think it’s often a thing that gets viewed from one perspective-- is it’s not only ‘Did we want Ronnie to join?’ (which of course we did), it’s ‘Does Ronnie want to commit to these four people, this lifestyle where he doesn’t get to see his friends and family very often, where he doesn’t get paid as much as he probably could back home. For that reason I think we’re really flattered and humbled that he wants to commit the next however many years of his life to this band and us as people. The first real trial period of tour was warped tour of last year. That was Ronnie’s first time playing onstage with us, but we just kind of knew it in the back of our minds, and the back of his, that this was what we were meant to do together.”

Has the dynamic changed at all?

“Oh massively. Ronnie has the biggest personality of anyone I’ve ever met, for better or for worse; some days you’re not in the mood to be surrounded by such a loud presence. He’s one of a kind and he brings so much more energy and sincerity to what we do to our live performance, and engaging and interacting with our fans on and off stage, before and after the set.”

What’s a favorite memory you’ve made with another band on this tour?

“That’s a great question! Doing Disney world with every band on this tour was really fun, that was a really nice moment. We did an escape room with Sharptooth and Doll Skin in Arizona, that was really fun-- I had never done an escape room before, I don’t think most of us had. We were divided into four, which became two teams due to the nature of the escape room-- it was tons of fun.”

With the stark difference sound-wise between ​Okay ​and ​The Great Depression​, how have you seen the dynamic of your fanbase change, if at all?

“Well, that’s one of the most interesting, kind of humbling things is that, we were uncertain as to who was still going to relate to this sound, enjoy this sound. One of the most humbling things is that so many fans from all around the world, that have been with us for upwards of five years since we’ve been touring internationally are still coming out to shows-- and it’s like nothing has changed, even though so much has changed. I think it speaks to the authenticity of the art that people can totally really love what we do and really believe in what we do. Yes, we’ve embraced a much more aggressive, darker sound, but it was the only natural evolution for our sound as a band for sure.”

Whatever you guys release next, are you gonna take it slow? Do you have ideas?

“I have ideas. Although, it was a conscious decision to be more present and engaged during the release of ​The Great Depression.​ We started writing ​The Great Depression​ three weeks before Okay was released, so when everyone got to really appreciate and consume okay, we were busy creatively, consciously invested in this next album. We didn’t get to live in the moment of ​Okay as much, and I was very aware that it would be a mistake to do that again. We all have ideas for the next record, but we haven’t started writing just yet. Equally, there are exciting expansions of The Great Depression​ that people are gonna get to enjoy pretty soon--we’re really making this one last.”

What motivates you to get up and keep going every day?

“Honestly, I’ve just made more of a conscious effort to live every day for me, as selfish as that sounds. Being as painfully introverted as I am, the most minute interaction often claims a big piece of myself and my energy. So I very selfishly at times hide myself away in my bunk, or in a cafe or something like that. We’re just working on so many exciting things right now that I don’t really have the time or the opportunity to slow down-- speeding away on a million different As It Is related projects, that’s pretty exciting.”

With you spending a lot of time in cafe’s and such, what’s your favorite place when you’re traveling to stop and eat, a place you look forward to?

“I wasn’t familiar with, but loved Arlo’s in Austin, Texas. Although, the thing about seeking out vegan restaurants on tour is that they’re not always healthy, and I’ve made a more conscious, mature decision to be healthier on tour for everyone’s well being, because I feel like trash if I just eat fake meat and cheese all day. Some of my favorites... I wanna say it’s called ‘Blackbird’s Cafe​’ o​ r something, but it’s in Philadelphia. They do an amazing vegan philly cheesesteak, vegan wings-- they have these root beer barbecue wings. That was a rare, indulgent, ‘eat the trash, feel like trash’ moment, but it was worth it.”

How do you personally fight against writers block?

“Something that I’ve found only more recently--over the last year or so-- is that I hold some of my biggest influences to such a high standard, I put them on the tallest of pedestals. Some of my favorite writers/lyricists are Adam Young from Owl City, Lights, Motion City Soundtrack, Death Cab For Cutie, The Postal Service. Something I’ve done more recently is--yes, these artists have written some of my favorite songs--some of which I believe to be the greatest songs ever written-they have also written songs that I just don’t enjoy. I seek out those songs to remind myself that everybody is human, everybody falls shorts at least in my standards [when it comes to] music that I enjoy, and remind myself that just because these people are my biggest influences in the world, doesn’t mean that they write perfect songs every time. I love starting songs, and hate finishing songs. I start a lot more projects than I finish; partly because the potential of an idea becomes very romanticized in my head, and a lot of the time the actuality of finishing that idea isn’t as great as the potential that I see in it-- and that is a very difficult battle to win some days. What I do is remind myself that every great songwriter is human, and falls short, and doesn’t write 10/10 songs every day of every year.”

Who did you guys pull inspiration from when writing The Great Depression?

“So, we very consciously paid homage to post hardcore and emo bands, such as Armor for Sleep, Underoath..But equally, being a band from the UK, and having lived in the UK since i was five years old, I listened to so many british post hardcore bands that never got the international recognition that this band is fortunate enough to have recieved. We paid homage to bands like Hero for a Friend, Hell is for Heroes, Hundred Reasons-- the third track on The Great Depression,​ The Fire, The Dark​ is co-written with Larry Hibbitt of Hundred Reasons. If you’re from the UK, and you grew up in the 90s and 2000s there was no way to not know about this band. They were on mainstream radio, playing festival mainstages, a giant in UK rock music--but I guarantee none of our fans ever hear of that band, and getting to write one of our songs alongside one of the acts that we were paying tribute to was very cool, very surreal.”

The Great Depression also features a lot of smooth, instrumental transitions between sings--what was your favorite one of those to create?

“I think my favorite to create was the transition between​ The Reaper​ and​ The Two Tongues (Screaming Salvation)​. I don’t know if anyone knows this, I don’t know if I’ve ever said this, and I don’t know if you can even tell--but in the buildup into ​The Two Tongues​ there’s a sample of a song called ​The Prisoner’s Song​, and I don’t even remember who its by, but it was written in like 1925. There’s all this guitar feedback and eerie soundscapes, and our mad scientist of a producer, Machine, had the idea of screaming into the guitar pickups-- because screaming “salvation”, it made sense. [There’s] this never seen, never released video of Machine screaming “salvation” into the guitar. You probably can’t hear it- I can hear it ‘cause I was there: right before the song kicks in , there’s this very distorted sound. It’s a guitar, but you can hear that Machine is screaming “sal-va-tion” into the guitar, and maybe if you really listen closely you’ll hear it now. It’s one of my favorite moments, because i feel like modern music--not even just modern rock music--modern ​music​ isn’t as indulgent as it used to be. I used to read about all these incredibly indulgent studio stories that I just feel like don’t exist anymore, ‘cause no one has the time nor the budget to be as indulgent as some of the greats used to be. Getting to play around with silly things that ultimately don’t matter, but equally fulfill ​you​; ​that’s​ why they matter.” 

If you could spend one day jamming with a favorite musician dead or alive who would it be, and why?

“For me it would be Adam Young in Owl City. Just my biggest influence of all time, somebody that I just respect so endlessly. I think he’s just an expert in sound just as much as he is in songwriting, I just love everything he’s ever done.”

What’s a song--either on the setlist or not--just a song of yours that you hold a lot of personal meaning to?

“​Hey Rachel​. Just hearing audiences from every end and hemisphere of the world sing your sisters’ name is always going to be hugely sentimental and personal, and it’s a very personal moment of every set we play.”

What is a song you can rage to no matter what, something that gets you hype every time?

“​Clever Girl​ by Sharptooth. Anytime [when] we were on warped tour of last year I would seek out the Sharptooth set and just get a little more fired up, and a little bit more pissed off at the state of the world, and get a little more inspired-- it’s something that I’ve tried to catch as many times as I could on this tour, cause it makes me so much more excited for my set--it’s such a great song.”

If you had to describe your music to someone who doesn’t hear, how would you describe it?

“Where optimism and pessimism come to kick the shit out of each other.”

If you want to catch the group on their upcoming “The Intimate Depression” run, or see when they’ll be playing near you next Check them out Online:

https://asitisofficial.com/

https://www.facebook.com/asitisofficial/

http://www.fearlessrecords.com/artists/as-it-is/

https://twitter.com/ASITISofficial?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

Interview by: Liz Holland

[lasermeup]

LONG PSA: Regarding Killing Stalking

So guess who finished reading what’s available of Killing Stalking recently? That’s right, me! And that’s after seeing two sides of the–uh,  what we might consider the community I guess. So here are my loooong two cents regarding what seems to be the main issues with the series in context of those reading it and enjoying it aka the newly growing fandom.  This assumes you don't already understand how fucked up the story is and you're reading it and responding in an inappropriate way.

1. Please understand this is not a story about a healthy and loving relationship.

I repeat, this is NOT a story about a HEALTHY AND LOVING relationship. This is literally a story that is a study of two individuals, both who have a long list of trauma from their childhood that have shaped them into who they are “today.” Both individuals express several key behaviors and types of personalities that would make any psychologist, sociologist, and/or those who are studying mental behaviors, abnormality, and the relationship of individuals and their society perk up with morbid curiosity. Why? Because they literally are expressing traits that usually are linked to those we would diagnosed or be evaluated as within the spectrum of sociopathy/psychopathy aka antisocial personality disorder.

What IS antisocial personality disorder? Antisocial personality disorder as defined by the DSM-5 is the diagnosis assigned to individuals who habitually violate the rights of others without remorse. Those who are diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder tend to be individuals who showcase a lack of remorse for safety (mental, physical) of others and those who impulsive, liars, and highly manipulative (whether it is subtle or direct). Antisocial personality disorder diagnosed individuals also showcase a lack of guilt as well. Most importantly, they tend to disassociate themselves emotionally and mentally from their choices or acts.

The difference between psychopaths and sociopaths is the “root” of their risk. While both are individuals diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, psychopaths tend to be more based on genetics (so self focus) and sociopaths tend to be more based on environmental factors (so the circles in which the individual interacts with aka school, home, family, etc.).  This is NOT to say that psychopaths are not affected/can’t be affected/do not experience trauma relating to their social circles, but the difference between the two tend to stem from the source of their risk. 

P.S. High risk vs low risk : those who experience trauma, particularly extreme violence creates a higher risk for antisocial personality disorder for a multitude of reasons. It’s important to TAKE NOTE THAT THOSE WHO ARE CONSIDERED HIGH RISK DO NOT ALWAYS OR ARE GUARANTEED TO DEVELOP ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER. They are simply at higher risk to do so. 

P.S.S Antisocial personality disorder/psychopathy/sociopathy does not guarantee violence. Violence is not something that is a “must” or a “plus.” It is there in most cases but it is not the main reason for why someone would be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. 

2. Stockholm syndrome, stalking, and murder is not cute.

Like, I’m not even sure why this should be something to discussed because the truth and reality of it all is that those three words are not linked to anything positive at all. Stockholm syndrome is often seen as a mental adaptation to what is a very terrifying and traumatizing scenario.  It is a PSYCHOLOGICAL CONDITION that creates feelings of safety (and yes, at times affection) toward kidnappers or captors from victims and hostages. This, however, is NOT LOVE. This is your mind literally creating what appears to be a safer scenario in which survivability increases. This is not something victims choose to have. This is a condition that appears usually because of trauma. Romanticizing Stockholm syndrome is honestly disrespectful to victims who have gone through it because you are literally pretending it is something that people choose and something that is wanted or desired. No one should be wanting to be placed in a scenario in which you either make yourself love your captor or you go through hell. 

Stalking, again, is not cute. It is an act of violence against an individual because it ignores all the rights, desires, and autonomy of said individual. Yes, stalking isn’t always violent. Not all stalkers come to attack their victims but most stalkers know what they are doing is abnormal and outside the category of normative social interaction. Stalking creates intimidation, a false sense of reality for the stalker (because the perspective and view of the world from the stalker is very different from the view of the victim), and often results in acts of violence if that “reality” is changed or altered. ROMANTICIZING STALKING IS SO PROBLEMATIC I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START. This is a thing that is REAL and that affects people and causes FEAR. It isn’t something funny, or loving, or whatever you want to call it. It’s not fluff. 

MURDER IS NOT CUTE. MURDER IS NOT CUTE. MURDER ISN’T LOVE. YOU DON’T KILL FOR LOVE AND YOU SURE AS HECK SHOULD NOT BE THINKING BEING KILLED BY SOMEONE YOU LOVED IS THE BEST WAY TO DIE. Murder should NOT be romanticized because please don’t forget that murder takes away someone’s right to live without remorse or care about what they want. I mean, quite honestly, we shouldn’t be romanticizing suicide, double suicide (or lover’s suicides as some know them by) or murder. Period. Romanticizing it is taking away the truth of what it is. Redefining it as an act of romance ultimately adds into issues in which we ultimately condone these acts if they’re “acts of love” (which they are not). 

Romanticizing any of the above is pretty fucking shitty in general but to romanticize them within the context of Killing Stalking is even more so. 

3. Please take note that Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder are two very similar sounding things but are two very different diagnoses.

Those who are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder experience a series or a pattern of swings and these are often longstanding. Bipolar Disorder diagnosed individuals usually experience what is deemed as “episodes” or “periods” of mania. This means that they can experience depression (suicidal thoughts, lack of energy, loss of interest in hobbies, etc.) or mania (excessive happiness/anger/sadness, higher risk taking, impulsiveness) in episodes or periods. Both BPD and BD are “swing” disorders but BPD is long lasting and BD is alternating (though you can experience both depression and mania at the same time).  Romanticizing either of these are no no, by the way. And generalizing these as the same is also a no, no (as treatment differs for a reason and effects are different). 

Now let’s get to actual Killing Stalking part related part with the fandom.

1. This is not a healthy story and so you should not read it as if it is a normal, romantic, sweet, healthy story. 

Please look at what I wrote above if you honestly need a reminder about why this isn’t a story about healthy love or really, love in general. 

2. Stalking, psychopathy/sociopathy, disorders in general should NOT BE ROMANTICIZED or GENERALIZED.

People have gone through many things, many experiences. Many are also at risk for these disorders and/or others. Many people are also living through trauma or abuse. Romanticizing any of it is disrespectful to those individuals and also disrespectful to the scientific and health community who have worked their asses off to get rid of negative connotations and misleading bias toward these disorders and individuals who are diagnosed with these disorders. These are things that affect people, affect society. Treat them with respect. Going kyaa, Stockholm Syndrome!! I want that!! is not the way to go. And quite honestly, that’s seriously immature of you to even have that thought in the first place. And honestly, if you are interested, please consider picking up articles about these disorders and case studies. Educate yourself on these topics because trust me, it gives you a whole new perspective on actions and behaviors. 

P.S. If you have a fucked up definition (aka, one NOT IN THE OFFICIAL BOOK OF DEFINING THESE DISORDERS), don’t you put that definition onto people in real life. Just, no. 

P.S.S. this is also the same for real life serial killers. Bundy, Zodiac Killer, Killer Clown, Leather Man, none of them are meant to be romanticized. REAL PEOPLE HAVE DIED AS A RESULT OF THEIR ACTIONS. Okay? Okay. 

3. Please consider reading this as if it is a very creative, possibly exaggerated and visual mini study of a very intricate but also problematic relationship between two individuals with a lot of extreme history of their own. It’s a story about abuse but if you used a correct perspective (in other words, I’m saying if you read it with the understanding this shit is not representative of anything healthy or good or nice or LOVING), it can be a very good small study for those who are interested in a visual representative of how an individual can affect another individual and how personal traits, factors, and decisions can ultimately “change the game.” 

This is by no means to say you should take this story as if it’s a real case study because it’s not. It is, however, a direct and unsubtle visual thriller about a serial killer and a stalker and their history (personally and together). If you can look at it as all the sick shit it is, then that’s all you need. Don’t associate it with love, don’t force love on it, and you should be fine. In all honesty, as a psych major, I do find the story interesting because I just 1. do not see love in this, 2. do not romanticize this in any way, 3. prefer to analyze character development and the author’s depiction of disorders/behaviors. Which leads to—

4. You can enjoy the story for what it is without condoning violence or assault. Finding a story narrative interesting, even if it is violent, does not mean that you condone the violence in it or the actions or the behaviors or anything in it. It just means you find it interesting. This goes for characters as well. Problematic characters can be visually and emotionally interesting for individuals BECAUSE they are problematic. It does not mean that the individual condones that character’s actions. Now, if you think this shit is the bomb and you wanna go kill someone too for the sake of killing, then it has nothing to do with the story and it all has to do with you (and please consider talking to someone regarding your compulsions or desire on a very serious note). 

IF THIS STORY MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, YOU ARE WITHIN ALL RIGHTS TO GET IT AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE FROM YOU. Unfollow people, block posts, create a safe space for yourself. This is fine, this is good, this is preventative and healthy. However, if it makes you uncomfortable and disgusted and unhappily, please do not force yourself to go into it, to delve into it, and to essentially trigger yourself with anxiety, fear, and more. This is part of self care and self love – make your choices wisely for your own health even if it means crushing curiosity and getting away from the masses with opinions and arguments. 

Tldr; Don’t fucking romanticize or generalize disorders, problematic/violent behaviors (such as stalking and murder), don’t force yourself into triggered episodes so make decisions to create safety for yourself if you can, don’t shit on other people if they like it (honestly, no amount of problematic perspective on problematic behaviors condone spreading hate or violence) or if they don’t like it since a person’s interest in problematic characters or narrative or development does not suddenly make them problematic as well (because again, the relationship is not as simple as “I like thriller stories which means I AM A MURDERER!!!! I CONDONE MURDER!!!!”) , and don’t call it love or healthy. Take it as what it is and enjoy without the bullshit additions: an unapologetically in your face story about violence and abuse and two individuals. Educate yourself on topics of disorders, of behaviors, of trauma and abuse through articles, studies, etc. (not through the series ok because again, we have published journals for a reason) because it’s stories like these that can actually create interest and the desire to learn (which honestly, is always a good thing). 

CORRELATION DOES NOT EQUAL CAUSATION. I REPEAT. CORRELATION DOES NOT EQUAL CAUSATION. 

Also, JUST BECAUSE THERE’S GAY SEX IN IT AND ONE OF THE CHARACTER LOVES THE OTHER AND THEY’RE BOTH GUYS DOESN’T MEAN THIS IS “TRUE LOVE YAOI” or THE ACTIONS ARE OK. You can be gay and still be a murderer. I mean, srsly, look at John Wayne Gacy. Don’t you go romanticizing murder just because you want to look at it with rainbow eyes. Also, romanticizing murder within the LGBTQIA+ community disrespects and condones the violence in which queer individuals experience due to who they are and their identification and/or expression. 

Seriously. Just read it as what it is and be respectful to each other. If it isn’t your thing, that’s okay because it’s not meant to be everyone’s thing. If it isn’t your thing, take the steps needed to make yourself feel safe and good. Don’t let someone tell you that you can’t. 

And honestly, there is no problem in calling out those who are being problematic in a way where it affects other people (romanticizing/generalizing disorders or violence for example) but if it’s just someone who likes it because the story is interesting—??  If it is someone else’s thing, don’t pass immediate judgement and start demanding they off themselves because they’re a scourge to society or something. An interest in these types of things do not equate to a future murderer or a murderer in hiding. 

[xflower-childx]

The rise and fall

I've been meaning to write for a while but haven't brought myself to it. I know, I say this every single time I write, but it's true. I have more of a reason today though and that is pride. Boss lady gave me a raise and official manager title and it made me feel so good and proud; I had been hoping that it was coming and I've been working my ass off to get it and I knew she noticed and she's made it known and she takes care of like her 4th child and hell yeah I'm fucking proud of myself. I know that I can't go into any job without making sure that I can learn and grow there and its funny because when I was on the phone with mama bear earlier this week she had said that when I moved again that I should look for a more corporate job so I can move up in it and be financially stable. I see her side but I know that I wouldn't be happy doing that. I love being apart of small businesses and interacting more closely with the community. I love that during a pandemic we can bring joy, comfort, and normality to them when they need it the most with either their regular cup of coffee or a DIY cookie box to entertain their children for an hour at home. I’ve even been keeping in touch with boss lady about ways we can move forward to donate some baked goods to those in need, but there are a lot of hoops we have to jump through for that sadly and I am running out of hoops.... I’m happy and proud though, of all the hard work I’ve put in to learn and grow, from needing a bit more of a backbone to being confident in my abilities. I know I’ve earned this position and raise and that’s such a good feeling to have. 

So where does that leave the future? Well boss lady knows I’m moving. I keep her in the loop of all that and she knows nothing is stopping me from that... But she also knows that I won’t leave her without having another me. I’ve told her that as well. Although with Covid I don’t know when moving will be happening, I know that I aim for beginning of 2021 and I promised boss lady I wouldn’t leave her alone for Christmas (Mildly regret that promise but I saw the fear in her eyes) I know I have more to learn here though, and I’ve even been talking with BL about working with vegan baked goods too which is so exciting to be learning more of. I’m comfortable, but not too comfortable which is good. I’m comfortable enough to stay here longer and keep learning, but not enough to get stuck here. Like I said, I adore WS, and I’m happy here, but it’s still too small and not what I need/want.

Speaking of needs and wants, that leads us to our last topic. Our resent growing and learning period and that has to do with good ol Sunni. Now I knew from the beginning she wasn’t going to be a long term character in my story here, I romanticized it a bit, but ultimately I knew she wasn’t going to be around long which is why I think she was to easy to boot overboard. It’s interesting because I always say that I can write people off easily, and I can, I will try and fight it though for a good minute because I do care a little too much about people, but in the end if I feel someone is no good I will write them off (Aside from that one person whom I just can’t seem to shake... No matter hoe much I’ve told him I can) I think Sunni wins the award though for the quickest write off. I don’t know if it was the build up of like 2 weeks worth of high anxiety or me being so fucking fed up with her lies, drama and pretentious negative attitude or maybe just all of the above but honestly I saw her long text message about space and how hard her high maintenance life was and I was just done. I told her she could have all the space in the world, she then called me passive aggressive and I said that not really, I’m just over your shit. I later felt guilty for being a bitch and explained that I’ve been dealing with my own demons and needed to take care of myself, she ignores anything I said about my personal stuff and THEN THE BITCH GOES BACK TO HER DRAMA and then says ‘Oh yeah we should take some space and maybe I’ll message you later one when things have settled’ in a big ass text. I literally can’t count the time I rolled my eyes scanning the chapter book. I never replied. I have zero intention of replying, ever replying. She’s the face of ‘Hot girl Bummer’.

Soooo, yeah I know I was a bit bitchy with her, but Goddamn I was so fed up. I take pride in my patience with people, I can be understanding of nearly anything and I had quite a bit of patience with her, I listened to all of her drunken rants about this and that ex... Oh yeah and also that ex, oh and let’s not forget that other ex. Which at first was annoying because of my crush but honestly that crush died by the second real hangout because she was starting to be a bit... Much. like I knew she had quite a bit of growing to do on her own and I was happy to be a friend along for the ride but I started to notice how much she was playing me. I pointed this out to the BJS family and they agreed and said to cut it off. I have patience but I also have self respect. I realized this girl brought me more anxiety that any comfort and I hated that so she had to go. So yeah, Sunni turned out to be not so sunny. I think she was meant to come in to teach me though, about toxicity and self respect... Hold up maybe she was the Devil card I kept pulling... huh I should dive into that. I have quite a few cards to dive into though long before I being that bitch back up in my head though. R’s been making an appearance though too recently and that could just be from our light communication which has been nice though and I’ve enjoyed it. I wouldn’t mind bringing him back in though, like I said before, I’ve missed his friendship, and he’s been a pretty good friend recently, especially after Artie’s passing. I hope he knows how appreciated he was for that. 

Alright that’s enough for now. I’m going to go read some cards and then pass out.