#but his dad is sorta strict cause he was in the military

[thedocs-in]

Military School Pt.2

Apologies for taking so long on this. Life got a little hectic around Christmas time, and I just haven't had the time since. But things have finally calmed down enough that I had the chance to make those edits.

But here is part 2, I will get part 3 up as soon as possible. But it might take a bit since I have to re-write it. And hopefully I can get more Cecil art done. As well as drawing his dad because, fuck it, why not.

Link to Pt.1

TW: blood, injuries, mentions of the foster system

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Walking through the empty halls with his father, there was a growing tension between the two. He was dreading the ride home, knowing as soon as they stepped through the door, he was gonna be on the receiving end of a tongue lashing. While his dad rarely yelled at him, this situation was different. He was on the verge of getting kicked out of the only high school in town and there weren’t many options for him.

Exiting the school, he was hit by the warm evening air. Despite the sun nearly being down, the air still felt sticky. Looking around he noticed only a handful of cars in the parking lot. Given how long he had been sitting in the office he wasn’t surprised. Normally he would’ve been home by now, but he wasn’t expecting to get into a fight after school. A fight that the jackass senior started and was blaming him for. In his own defense, he didn’t throw the first punch. But it didn’t matter.

Reaching his dads’ car, he reached for the door handle before being stopped when his dad called for him. “Hold up. Let me check your nose first.”

Turning around, he faced his dad and braced himself. As his father’s fingers prodded at his nose, pain erupted, and he violently jerked back.

His dad hummed, “Hmmm… should be an easy fix. I can put it back into place as soon as we get home.”

His father stepped back and walked around to the drivers’ side. Sighing, he pulled open the passenger side door and slid in. Shutting the door behind him. As he buckled himself in, his dad started the car and pulled out of the parking space.

For the most part it was a quiet ride, the radio was off, and the only other sounds would be the occasional passing car that would break the silence.

A few minutes go by when he finally mustered the courage to say something, “So, should I be packing my bags for Marlin academy?”

For what felt like forever they both sat there in silence, nothing but road noise filling the void.

His dad sighs, “Were you telling the truth? Were you really just protecting your friend?”

“Yeah, that senior threw the first punch when I went to talk to him.”

“You really went to just talk?” His dad raised his brow.

“Yeah, I really tried to deal without fighting this time.”

His dad got quiet for a moment, “I know you wouldn’t throw the first punch without a good reason. You’re not getting off easy at home by the way, you will be doing all the schoolwork you’re gonna be missing as well as extra chores…” His dad paused for a second, “You really went off on that kid, not gonna lie though, he did kind of deserve it. Probably learned to act that way from his dad.”

“Kind of like how I got my foul mouth from you?”

His dad chuckled softly, “Yeah kind of… Listen, you can’t keep getting into fights, or at least ones that severe. One day someone will call the cops on you, and I won’t be able to help you. I know you don’t like it when assholes get away with doing bad shit, but you can’t always take justice into your own hands. You’ll find yourself in a situation where you’ll just have to accept the consequences.”

Looking down at his hands, they ached in pain. And he knew they were gonna be bruised tomorrow. He started to use the rag to try and wipe off the blood.

His dad must’ve seen him messing with his hands, “Knuckles hurt?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” He replied as he rubbed his thumb in between in knuckles.

His dad smirked, “I’ll get you some ice when we get home. Hopefully you didn’t break anything, I can’t do anything about that. Honestly… and I’m not trying to encourage you or anything, but I’m impressed that you were able to kick his ass.”

He smiled, “Kinda makes you think that he’s not all that great of a football player.”

The older Stedman laughed, “Haha, no shit. I wonder what’s more hurt his ego, for getting his ass handed to him by a 14-year-old, or the fact that he’s gonna be missing some games till he’s off probation?”

“Probably both.”

Silence quickly took over, nothing but the sound of the road and the occasional passing car.

After a couple minutes they finally pull into the driveway of their little home. Hopping out of the car, he started to make his way to the front door when he heard his dad call him.

“Go get the first aid kit and meet me in the bathroom, gotta get the mail first.”

Nodding his head, he bounds up the front porch and unlocks the front door. Going inside.  and goes straight for the first aid kit in the laundry room. Grabbing it, he darts to the bathroom down the hall and sets it on the bathroom counter.

Looking in the mirror, the skin under his eyes and across his nose was starting to change color; his lip swollen. Dried blood stained the lower half of his face and neck.

As he inspected his face, he heard the door open and shut. Keys being tossed into the bowl by the door. And his father’s footsteps coming towards the bathroom.

Turning to the door, his dad stood there. “You may want to leave your shirt on, it’s already ruined. Might as well use it to keep blood from getting anywhere else.”

Nodding his head, he stepped aside to let his dad grab what he needed.

“You know the drill, edge of the tub.” His dad washed his hands, glancing over at him briefly. “Do you need something to bite on?”

Thinking back to the last time he broke his nose, he remembered how he had bitten his cheek so hard last time he could taste blood for nearly two weeks straight. “Yeah, I don’t want a repeat of last time.”

His dad held out a scrap of leather that came from an old belt. Taking it, he remembered all the times he’s had to bite down on it when he got hurt. Usually from doing something stupid, like the time he climbed the tree in the backyard and the branch he was stepping on broke out from under him; resulting in a nasty cut on his leg that required stitches. Putting the scrap between his teeth, he braced himself.

Finished at the sink, his dad sat down on the toilet, “Alright, the sooner this is done the sooner I can start dinner. You ready?”

Taking a deep breath, he nodded. He watched as his dad used a little rod to push the broken bit of bone back into place. Biting down on the leather, he squeezed his eyes shut. Trying his best to block out the pain.

With a click, he felt his nose pop back into place. Slowly opening his eyes, tears blurred his vision. Through blurry vision he watched as his dad’s packed his nose with gauze. Which only sent more pain throughout his face. Blinking, he cleared his vision and looked at his dad. The same serious expression plastered on his face.

Soon his nose was all patched up and his dad leaned back, “Alright you’re all done, you know the drill be careful with your nose. Painkillers are in the cupboard, make sure you take it now, so it’ll kick in sooner.” His dad stood up and was about halfway out of the bathroom door before stopping, “Oh, and take a shower before dinner, you’re uh… smelling a little ripe. And be sure to tape up your nose as soon as you’re done.”

Nodding his head, he watched as his dad strolled out of the bathroom. Leaving him to get cleaned up. Standing up, he went to his room. Rifling through his closet for clean clothes. Grabbing the first thing he saw; he quickly went back to the bathroom, taking the painkillers before hopping into the shower. Within 15 minutes he’s cleaned up. Before exiting, he taped his nose up. Silently, he walked out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen, ruined shirt in hand.

Walking into the kitchen, his dad had his back to him. Focused on the stove, finishing up their dinner.

Holding up his shirt, he makes his presence known, “Hey dad, inside or outside garbage?”

His dad turns his head, “Hm? Oh, uh, outside, just make sure you bury it under the other stuff. Hate for the raccoons to shred your shirt on the front lawn.” His dad chuckled. “That’d be an awkward conversation with the neighbors, don’t want them to think I beat you. Dinner will be ready any second, made some soup, so be quick.”

Going out the backdoor, he walked over to the garbage can. Pulling off the lid, and pulling a few bags out, before burying the shirt deep in the trash. Replacing the lid, he went back in the side door and looked into the dining room, his dad already sitting at the table.

His dad motioned for him to join, “Dinner’s ready.”

Sitting across from his dad, the two of them silently ate their dinner.

As he ate, the situation of the whole situation started to settle in. Causing a knot to form in his stomach. Setting the spoon down, he stared at the bowl in front of him. Wondering what was going to happen.

His dad noticed, “You okay? Does it hurt to eat?”

Shaking his head, he continued to stare at the bowl, “Do you think they’re gonna believe me? I know you said you weren’t gonna send me to military school, but it’s not like there any other high school in town. Except maybe the Catholic school.”

His dad set his elbows on the table and put his hands together. He was quiet for a minute and sighed. “I’m not sure. Honestly, it seemed like principal Owens was on your side, considering how ‘jackass’ had reacted, but I’m not sure. I’m certainly not sending you to the Catholic school. Nothing against the church, I just don’t think it would be a good idea to send you to a Catholic school. You’d get yourself kicked out on day one. No offense kid, but you swear too much for someone your age. But that’s on me. As for the military school, it may be our only option, considering driving you back and forth to the next town over wouldn’t make things easy.”

His dad leaned back in the kitchen chair, “You may have screwed the pooch on this one kid. But no matter what happens we’ll figure something out, we always do.”

He laughed nervously, “You could always send me to live aunt Sarah or uncle Ollie, and I could go to school where they live.”

His dad stiffened up, and his expression changed to one that was a mixture of sadness and concern. “Hey, hey! I don’t want to hear that. I threaten you a lot with military school, but I’m not gonna send you off to live with relatives. I refuse to be one of those parents that pawns their kid off on someone else when they get out of hand. I know I’m a bit of a hardass, but I just want what’s best for you.”

His dad rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “I didn’t have my parent’s growing up, and I don’t want you to go through something like that. It doesn’t matter if they are my siblings, I’ve got nothing against them, but I want to raise my own damn child."

A sad silence took over the Stedman household, both of them staring at their dinner. A twinge of guilt rose in his chest; his dad rarely talking about being raised in the foster system after his mom had died, but he should’ve known better than to bring it up.

He sheepishly broke the silence, “Dad, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”

“Don’t be, we both got screwed in the family department.” His dad scoffed, “I mean for fucks sake the only person I’ve met on your mother’s side, is your mother.”

The rest of dinner passed quietly, and the two did their evening routines, winding down from a hectic day. Hunched over his homework, he heard a knock at his bedroom door. Looking at the door, his dad stood in the open doorway.

“Lights out kid, you may not be going to school tomorrow, but you’re not staying up all night.”

Nodding his head, he closed his math book and sat up, “Yes sir.”

His dad then walked away leaving the door open, light from the hallway illuminating his room. Getting up from his desk, he shut off the desk lamp as he walked away. Padding off to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Looking in the mirror, a large purple bruise had begun to grow. Spreading across his cheeks and his nose. Sighing, he spit out the remaining toothpaste in his mouth and went back to his room. Exhausted, he crawled into bed. Reaching up he shut off the lights above his bed and quickly passed out.

[99liners]

What would the tatemae men be like as fathers?

kaiho!jjk: the overprotective dad, especially if he has a baby girl. would be extremely protective of his daughter and extremely strict with his son. he's the disciplined guy, would go full military!dad on their asses. waking them early in the morning (around 5:30am) so they can go on a run and exercise with their father every single day. it's non-negotiable. on the other hand, he would be lax with their studies, would obviously ground them if they fail classes but as long as they pass, he doesn't really care about getting the best grades and stuff like that.

enouement!kth: would spoil his kids rotten; expensive branded clothes, bicycles, cars. always complaining how he doesn't get to see his kids grow up cause he's just so damn busy at the hospital being the head of surgery. the type to deliberately drive a wedge between his kids and their perspective of their momma tanaz just so his kids favour him over her (which hardly ever happens). would motivate his kids to become a doctor like him (as if he is the only doctor in the household) but in the end, whatever they choose is fine by him. he is a sweet dad at the end of the day, would go to any lengths for his kids. also, lol, detests his kids being friends with jjks' kids 🤣 but the respective kids are actually best friends to his very dismay.

nodus tollens!pjm: the overclingy dad. won't ever ask his kids to become a dancer, it would completely depend on their choice but would absolutely be devasted if they even THINK of moving out after they turn 18 or after college. their asses ain't going anywhere. they are going to be with him for the rest of his life. other than that, he is a soft and gentle dad. buys them literally whatever they ask for even if rei scolds him for that,,, he goes all "but how am i supposed to say no to those puppy eyes!!! 🥺" never gets angry at his kids, rather the type to frustrate others with his actions. if wifey rei gets angry at the kiddies then pjm gonna play the referee while knowing very well that the discord is because of him.

adronitis!knj: he is the chill dad. literally chill about everything. he has given moon all the freedom in the world. all he expects is that she ( + and any other siblings she might have later on) has to excel in studies. she kinda sorta has to choose something in the STEM field, any subject of her choice but it's gotta be STEM. also, no getting grades lower than the 2nd position in the class or expect to get grounded for the next eternity. he is very strict when it comes to study. would always review her homework/articles/project but moon usually asks help from momma aria cause that's easier lol. less criticism. and dad joon is grumpy cause he just really wanna help.

psychomachy!jhs: he is the nice dad lol. he tries to bond with hyuk alright but he can never, for the life in him, understand why video games or specific genre of movies and TV shows are interesting to hyuk. he doesn't understand hyuk's sense of humour, more like the humour of the whole generation. he tries 🤣 but fails miserably and complains to dany how he's just "too old for this shit". future wise, he will groom hyuk to take over his position someday. he won't expose hyuk to the whole traditional side of jung family but yeah, he is traditional himself so, of course, hyuk would learn that stuff indirectly from him (mannerisms, behaviour, etc).

i am not at liberty to discuss liberosis!myg or aphotic!ksj

[pwnyta]

POKEMON DOODLES. BETCHA DIDNT SEE THAT COMING.

These mediocre doodles are mostly for Omi. Theyre not even real characters from the games/show... its just... dont worry about it. Since im lazy its all just sketchy doodles. ((A shit ton of them under the cut!))

Hugo (Nat- ):

Candy (Nat- Naive): A not all together newbie. Im sure she was delighted to get he codename... and then less delighted that there was someone already called ‘Candyman‘.

Scarecrow or just ‘Crow’ (Nat- Modest): A spooky man who’ll fit whatever roll he needed for. Very flexible. Has an easy personality to deal with though hes not very forthcoming about himself personally... might be better in a job like this.

Lock (Nat- Quiet):

Doc (Nat- Careful): He has a lot of information on almost everyone... aside from Sickle whos doctor is Emanuel. Hes not a fighter and refuses to evolve because his tail was mutilated and he can be a Slowbro anymore. Hes somehow gained a weirdly dark organ harvester rep... maybe because hes rarely seen and peoples imagination go wild... but to the people under his care hes just a nice, tiny guy who does a good job of patching them up quickly. He will smuggle drugs however because now he gets to work in better conditions under Sickle... hes also got a strange morbid sense of humor.

Wisp (Nat- Hasty): An ice queen type, kinda haughty and smug but shes got the skills to back that up so no one can talk shit. Like ‘sure shes an asshole... but shes not wrong‘. She tries to work WITH people just so she can get them the fuck away from her as quickly as possible. She doesnt appreciate people overstaying their welcome and prefers to go solo. If she needs a partner she prefers another woman or at least a pretty man... but someone like Link or Skim would be better.

Skim (Nat- Sassy): Honestly just a nod to Catwoman in general.

Father (Nat- Serious): A very religious man, mute, demands perfection. If you work for him and fuck up and embarrass him youre in for a world of hurt.  No matter how fond he may seem to be towards someone this is true. He doesnt play favorites and he doesnt want anyone under him to stagnate. You push yourself or HE’LL PUSH YOU. The operatives working under him are jokingly referred to as his ‘kids‘. Toward his equals he can be respectful... or maybe just tolerant.

Perma (Nat- Adamant): A cruel efficient lady. Has a thing for blades which is possibly why she has no trouble working for a guy like Sickle. The fact hes not interested piques her interest in him even more.

Gadget (Nat- Rash): Tries to be a fun gamer girl but her short temper makes it hard. Some suggest her codename should be ‘Tripwire‘ because of how unpredictably dangerous she can be... but she disagrees BECAUSE SHES A FUCKING DELIGHT. Can be a bit of a troll... and not the goofy fun kind (the malicious I’ll ruin your life if you cross me kind).

Blink (Nat- Calm) A Very obedient and very smart. Has a really droning dull voice and never loses his temper. Hes good at calming a certain Luxray down.

Mele (IDK)

Wool (Nat- Sassy) Plays dumb and pretty but hes rather clever and is a fun loving fella. Has a French accent. Master of disguise!

Wreckingball (Nat- Hardy): Has no real talent or skill. Hes just a tough bastard you call in if you need to fuck some shit up. Hes probably one of the more pleasant agents in Sickles crew and is chummy... probably not the greatest idea considering his coworkers are a bunch of shady assholes.

Mittens (Nat- Jolly): Hes another rather nice agent of Sickles. But hes not a dumbass like Wreckingball and has become of the head of the Sigma divison. He is a bit reckless tho. He can shoot his arms off and use them as weapons so he occasionally wears prosthetic arms and spends a lot of time with Doc.

Prick (Nat- Impish) Hes a smarmy lad who enjoys talking vaguely and annoying people. HIS NAME IS APPROPRIATE AND HE LOVES IT.

River (Nat- Naughty): Flirty and dangerous. Hes a killer but hes quick and efficient doesnt draw out anyones death. Not because hes nicer or squeamish or anything its because torture isnt in his job description. Hes great at getting people to think he honestly cares and like using built trust to crush his victims. He also like cucumbers! He somehow gets along well with Madam even though theyre both just being fake bitches.

Madam (Nat- Mild): Looks very dainty and delicate and uses peoples desire to please a pretty woman to take advantage of them. Shes not shy about minor edits to peoples memories to help her get away even though its illegal.

Cleo (Nat- Docile):

Cresent the Shiny Lycanroc (dusk form. Nat- relaxed)

Link the Golisopod (Nat- Quiet)-

Methuselah the Drampa (Nat- Mild)

Viola the Chatot (Nat- Naughty)

Sandstorm the Flygon (Nat- Adamant)... Her personality is like that of a strict teacher dont let her have a ruler unless you wanna get spanked. Shes neat and detail oriented and because shes so outwardly respectable... no one would ever suspect shes a fucking thief. Shes a collector of rare and valuable books and of course prefers original copies. Her social skills arent grea unless shes pretending to be someone shes not and gets embarrassed if she reveals too much about herself to anyone.

Cavendish the Tropius (Nat- Lax). Her personality is like shes on autopilot, she gets shit done but shes sorta checked out. Shed much rather just stay home but she also got expensive tastes and shes not rich.

Alkaloid (Nat- Lonely): A gloomy lass that craves companionship. Shes not great at making connections to people which is fine for her position but really wants to have someone to click with. After she lost her eye she became even more distant with people. Shes rather fond of Doc though their relationship is rather one sided... her projecting some strange friendship on him because he cares for her and keeps her secrets... but hes a doctor and its kind of his job.

Blanco (Nat- Quirky): A vain dramatic ladies man. Is a skilled in his job (of course) but he hates when hes gotta tone back his extravagant life. After a long job he likes to surround himself with lively people and have some fun. He thinks he works VERY well with others and thinks himself a perfect partner.... most find him obnoxious and a lot have told him so... he just takes all criticism as jokes and lets it roll off him. If nothing else hes very positive!

Mistletoe (Nat- Serious): He seems cold and scary but hes a man of honor (for a guy who tortures people for a living anyway). He refuses to harm anyone weaker than him and is very caring of children and will step in if he sees some injustice if he can. Rouge agents, traitors,and shit like that though... hes ruthless and is very good at prying information out of them.  His hobby of developing new and dangerous poisons/chemicals are often tested on whoever hes toying with. ((He should have spots on the light red parts of his jacket... I forgot them IDK how OH WELL. I wanna tweak his costume a bit anyways. Vileplume colors are so bleh.))

Dust (Nat- Calm): Outwardly very charming but theyre not as sweet as they seem on the inside. Dust doesnt need to bring their victims in any kind of room to do their dirty work and prefers using their dust and psychic abilities to just mind fuck their victims into submission.

The Candyman the Alolan Muk (Nat- Quiet) is an annoyingly patient man and the perfect guy to call if you need to teach someone a lesson. If no one else can do it... THE CANDYMAN CAN. IDK what that Mr Mime did but he pissed Sickle off... Candyman has one weak point and thats his poor eyesight... and he’ll get very annoyed if you touch his glasses.

Doc gets a penpal.

BB Sparky helps Boat be a Pichu with the clever use of feathers and a pink marker.

Lees a hit with his mommas work friends.

Lee and his kids. (Sam and Sparky are his kids occasionally.) Hes a stronk boy but his health isnt the best... even Sam can feel a little guilty and worried when he causes trouble for his friend.

Alex is not an easy man to anger and hes very dangerous when hes angry but no matter how pissed off he is... just seeing Lee can sweep that all away. Alex can get away with a lot... but Lee still wont let him wear his preferred fighting attire. QQ so mean.

I revamped Boats friend Arcane. Hes a cop. ...he mostly hangs out with other dogs but also Boat. Nice guy, very righteous but also kind of a prideful asshole sometimes.

Ray revamp.

I made Sandy shiny because the black looked cool.

Some cops.

Another scientist

TAPUS!!!

Halos childhood friend turned criminal.

Stan and Davy fam!! Stans mum is a detective, his dad is a stay at home dad.

Davys mum is an ~*~ARTIST~*~ especially in fashion but shes flexible and creative... and very spontaneous and his dad is former military turned workhorse for his wife. Hes good at sewing with all his tentacles.

Although her desire to have a kid was random and ill thought out... they werent as awful at being parents as he thought.

Another Ray! Mega Manectric and Hebenon.

BB Pokemon Quest crew.

I forgot to add Ho-Oh Lugia

And the trios.

[raccoonpatriotism]

260 [Random, Useless Headcanons 📂] from @homeofthevan | Part 2 Explosive Boogaloo

1-100: Here

101: He’s always had an, uh, ‘excellent’ temperament with old women - starting from being forced to help out at Old Folks Homes to get him out of the Orphanage. 

102: He yells to show he cares. 

103: He also yells for the sake of it.

104: You have to constantly say his name if you want him to continue to be part of the conversation.

105: that’s why he so often repeatedly uses names, nicknames, a simple ‘son’ when speaking to people.

106: He assumes everyone’s just like him until proven otherwise.

107: Along with what I said earlier about him not being empathetic; he really isn’t able to visualize himself in someone elses shoes unless he’s been walked through, like, a specific a few times. 

108: He respects Miss Pauling the most out of everyone he knows. 

109: Smissmas and Thanksgiving are tied for his favorite holiday.

110: Jane really likes Halloween though, and isn’t a grump on Valentines day. 

111: <- Jane’s password for anything he owns that requires a password. More 1s if necessary.

112: When he’s thirsty he’ll go to the nearest form of water for hydration - catch him just drinking out of the bathroom sink - leaning up as he wipes his mouth, chirping, “Hello, private.”

113: He guzzles coffee like it’s fuel, but he has a very strict, No Caffeine after lunch protocol.

114: Decaff is for WIMPS.

115: Jane plays the trombone.

116: Subsequently, in most music, he appreciates and hums along with the bass parts.

117: Modern AU-Jane may be a Call of Duty fanboy, but he respects Halo for being another accurate depiction of life on the battlefront. 

118: Speaking of modern Jane, the Military didn’t accept him in the 80s either.

119: His love for the military lead him to believe for sure he’d be accepted he was the Perfect Patriot and his enlistment would be a surefire way to help fund his transition--

120: But of course, as strong as he had become he’d spent his youth very sick and with the possibility of the illness to return along with a terrible psyche eval and 80s typical transphobia that lane was firmly closed.

121: At least he had DOOM to fall back on. And he was physically strong enough to hold down jobs to at least pay for testosterone.

122: And then Call of Duty came out and he became an early era streamer. (Went viral as one of those guys who basically RPs being an actual soldier in the voice chat.)

123: BACK TO CANON JANE because those headcanons just.. plain, aren’t useless. canon jane doesn’t have to deal with transphobia. tch.

124: He’s not the best to have on your football team as menacing as he is. He’ll start tackling everybody. Running the wrong way. Trying to steal the ball from his teammates.

125: If you tell Jane something’s American after he criticizes it, watching him backtrack is really fun.

126: Jane doesn’t get sick often, which is good because he is insufferable. Either goes full isolation straight up outside somewhere. Or is whining to everyone and everyone how it’s not allowed that he can’t be burrowing somewhere outside.

127: His hands are always warm - if they’re cold he’s probably having an Episode of some sort. 

128: Rock and Roll helps his tinnitus, though he’ll still refer to it as Hippy Garbage. Like most music.

129: Jane could probably tapdance if given proper shoes. Mmm no, he’d stomp through the floor. Horse level clomping.

130: He’ll be the hype-man for anyone on his team.

131: Despite not being a fan of mint flavoring, he loves himself a candy-cane.

132: His thumb isn’t double jointed - seeing someone showing off their double jointed-ness would have Jane proclaiming magic was necessary.

133: LT. BITES lightning round!! Lt. Bites sees jane as its “General” 

134: It got the bite taken out of its ear fighting over sour cream - it won.

135: Jane doesn’t give any raccoons a higher rank than Bites.

136: Lt. Bites doesn’t crave human flesh or anything, but it likes the sensation of biting people!

137: Jane has tried to get his raccoon a job at RED.

138: You can tell when Jane is having a really good day on the battlefield because you’ll round the corner and there’s Naked Soldier.

139: He’s waxing poetry about the beauty of the Male Form, take it in you soft quivering maggots. 

140: I can’t get the image of Jane crowd surfing out of my head? That’s, like, his ideal dream for being recognized for his heroics. Medals and a mosh in his Honor.

141: Anytime he sees a Bald Eagle he entirely stops what he’s doing to place his left hand over his heart.

142: Jane loves The Art of War and is still awaiting Sun Tzu’s next book.

143: [ Alcohol ] Jane only sees ghosts when he’s starving, drunk, or suffering from a concussion. And it’s merely a way for such a boar minded guy to internalize what’s going on around him.

144: He can touch his toes keeping his knees straight.

145: Jane has minor ice-skating knowledge, as most growing up in the midwestern united states do. He’s not, good, though, he’s really intent on Taking Steps instead of gliding.

146: Put him in front of a piano and he’s holding out on finger and pressing down on one key at a time like an old man at a desktop keyboard.

147: Jane is ready to beat up your father. 

148: Especially if your dad is shitty, unleash good ol’ Solly on him.

149: While he favors picking his nose with his pinkies, neither of his pinkie pads have any feeling.That makes them a little less dexterous when the time comes.

150: He’s always aching to be active, his brain will take things literally if it means he’ll be doing something.

151: Rum pineapple juice and malibu caribou -- Er. He doesn’t like pineapple flavoring. Isn’t a fan of mixed drinks in general? 

152: He’s capable of staying out of the picture and not picking his nose, often times if things aren’t focused on him he’ll just sorta.. Stand out of the way playing with his hands - rifling through his pouches. Some times he’ll even, *gasp* pay attention. 

153: He really likes to but in with his opinion is the thing.

154: He’s an American and his ideals must be heard.

155: Merasmus out here having doing the most for Soldier, in helping him reintegrate back into society. You think he’s bonkers now?? Psh. You should’a seen him fresh home from Poland.

156: He’s shown up to Civil War reanactments with a real gun.

157: Jane is incapable of yawning silently.

158: Stairs are overrated.

159: Catch Jane with a lukewarm mug of water pouring coffee grinds directly into it and saying “Damn, that’s a fine cup of Joe.”

160: Only. 100 left? Sweet Joseph Wetnurse of Jesus He’s got dirty blond hair leaning toward brunette.

161: Any righteous death deserves a warrior’s burial - That’s why you’ll find Jane, helmet over heart, giving a stirring eulogy about the Toilet from the Men’s Restroom that Got Unearthed and Shattered By... Nobody In Particular. 

162: He will just join in large groups of people  - like protests? He’ll just fall in line and preach his own stuff which sometimes doesn’t exactly align with the group at large.

163: i asked myself, would jane pick someone else’s nose? Yes.

164: His hugs are always really warm.

165: He would notice his wallet being pickpocketed - unless it was replaced by something the same weight. He’s like a temple from Indiana Jones.

166: Mentally? Jane’s fine with being alone, but. That leads to him living in a box or a room straight out of that “Damn, bitch, you live like this?” comic.

167:  Despite deep cold being triggering to him (SEE HC, 67.), he loves snow-forts and hot chocolate because those are great American past-times.

168: next one is this post’s 69 brace yourselves! Jane’s never truly in silence, the constant whistling in his ears will see to that. That’s why sometimes, when it is quiet, you’ll catch Jane looking into space like he’s trying to see where the sound is coming from.

169: Important to note, he ain’t popping a boner any time he’s fighting nude. Or, really, fighting any time. Intent is really important for him. (If he gets all rubbed up on, though, Well,)

170: Jane is under the assumption that everything he comes up with is ingenious and people like Red Spy are holding society back by ignoring such wide plans.

171: He’s secretly soothed by everyone on his team’s voices.

172: First off, himself. He loves to hear himself talk. Mostly fueled by self-important intent, the tenor of his own voice also soothes his eardrums.

173: Pyro’s is muffled yet energetic - and never fails to get Jane pumped up.

174: Scout’s got that accent that is pure and simple, American. Soldier may not listen to half of what he says, but for background buzz and funny colloquialisms 

175: And, Engie's accent garners a whole other sort of American respect out of the Soldier. As far as soothing goes? Engie’s is like butter.

176: Soldier hate’s Heavy’s accent on principle, but below his American Stubbornness is a love for the deep, thoughtful symbols Heavy provides. Plus, y’know, he appreciates a fellow loud guy.

177: Demo’s voice makes Solly a happy man. It used to make him furious, an all Scottish accents did, but more recently it makes him feel nostalgic. 

178: Jane would swear up every mountain he can that there’s nothing positive to be found in Spy’s accent, but zoning out to such poised speech patterns and rounded vowels is a common occurrence. 

179: When Sniper gets that gravelly tone going on, when he takes things really seriously? Jane like that.

180: Jane can’t find it in him to be really put off by anything Medic says during surgery, so his voice only causes a feeling of safety throughout the Soldier. He can’t get enough of hearing Enthusiasm in the Medic’s voice.

181: He doesn’t believe the Police can arrest him because they aren’t the official Government.

182: He looks at a baby and is like “What animal is this?”

183: Big hands.. talented at giving massages.

184: BEWARE HIM BREAKING YOUR SPINE - just specify ‘and don’t kill me’!

185: Jane doesn’t gossip so much as, be around people who are gossiping which makes him want to make up some Hot Goss. Also, he’ll act like every rumor someone else shares is spoken truth.

186: Jane picked up finger guns from Scout. He either uses it constantly or doesn’t use it for weeks at a time.

187: He lifts, broskis.

188: Jane will talk about trucks because the Average American Male is expected to. He knows nothing about cars.

189: He’s an impulsive liar, so caught up in in his web of ‘things he says to impress people’ that he believes everything he says. So are the woes of being an adult with ADHD.

190: He goes between being smell-blind and having the scent skills of a bloodhound. It’s probably a mental thing, because there’s no in between, but Jane doesn’t know anything.

191: i’ve been working on these for 5 days at this point... i hope they’re appreciated JANE prefers..soft food. jane Does Not lov the cronch.

192: Which is what makes cashews his favorite nut. they’re soft-ish. and they have just enough crunch to not gross him out.

193: He loves immediate gratification. 

194: Beyond joining the Military? Jane’s never had a solid plan for his future. Lives too in the moment. 

195: As long as he’s having fun, Jane’s a pretty content guy.

196: Any artistic skills he may have once had go into making Maps for war planning sessions.

197: He’ll fall victim to Sleep Paralysis occasionally and, once able to move, will spend the rest of the day curing ghosts and Merasmus’ magic.

198: He was SUPER into Howdie Doodie Time in his youth, and being put in front of any reruns will have him basically hypnotized into silence.

199: He’s proud of his ass.

200: Jane can keep marching pace for hours at a time. And if he’s not lugging around his rocket launcher he can keep marching for an entire day no pausing. 

201: Jane isn’t shy about telling jokes, because he believes everyone has the same sense of humor as him.

202: He knows karate but refuses to use his knowledge because it is not an American Form. He will stick to brute strength and loud yelling thank you very much.

203: He’s the type to state every time he’s going to use the bathroom. Like, people can be having a serious conversation and hes like, “I am going to take a shit now!”

204: Jane’ll go a week without washing his hair, but he always brushes his teeth two times a day.

205: He gives a damn good kiss.

206: All Human Nudity is safe for work. As it was God’s Intention to make people strongest when not held back by fabric.

207: All he wants is recognition.... for his good deeds...

208: He’ll have staring contests with the Sun. He’s yet to win, but that damn star shouldn’t get too comfortable.

209: Much like his pinkies, his feet have been crushed, blown up, and bruised so many times that he doesn’t have much feeling in them either.

210: He’s never washed his bellybutton.

211: He prefers savory to sweet, but he prefers sweet to sour.

212: Half assing is not in Jane’s vocabulary.

213: His brain will get stuck on simple Math - like, he tries his best to figure it out, it’s just.... Numbers..... they are a construct. And so he’ll end up pondering what 5+7 is for, like, 5 minutes.

214: Jane is constantly torn between wanting to be a Figure of Authority and also being a man born in the trenches following orders.

215: Have I mentioned lately Jane fucks? 

216: Jane’s room is sparsely decorated, but it’s only because he’s not materialistic and doesn’t generally receive gifts.

217: He’s more than willing to strip Right This Moment and fight something.

218: Jane’s not afraid to call other people losers.

219: He crops his own hair once a week. Same day he’ll do his wash.

220: Jane’s stubble grows in really fast, but he can’t deny the feeling of having a freshly shaved jaw is amazing.

221: If a teammate is struggling emotionally..... Jane walks away.

222: If they’re struggling again, /then/ Jane will give them some uncalled for American Advice. Like, meaningfully yelling “GET OVER IT, YOU SLOBBERING FOOL.”

223: He has a very, very high pain threshold. 

224: He accidentally walks into walls all the time.

225: He can’t magically see through his helmet - he just knows everyone’s feet super well.

226: It’s good that Lt. Bites is a wild, self sufficient animal because Jane is terrible at pet care. And child care. And any sort of care.

227: On the very rare occasions Jane gets overwhelmed with depression he’s a shadow of his former self questioning the sanctity of American Ideals and wondering aloud if War really is the answer to his problems.

228: Next day he’ll be fine and forget he was ever upset.

229: He’s never gotten a real back massage before, if he were to get one he’d probably literally melt? Some women he’s slept with liked to say sensually ‘oh what a big tense man you are’ and, like, weakly rub his back. they didn’t get paid to fix this man’s back muscles LMAO

230: Any backwards period-typical beliefs about women went out the window upon meeting Miss Pauling.

231: His love for America is truly as pure as it gets.

232: Jane’s pretty xenophobic, but he can learn better, I’m sure. he’s gotten his ass kicked for being ignorantly racist and he grew to be a better person.

233: He takes really well to learning things through violence, the only issue is.. dealing with Soldier Being Violent.

234: There’s nothing a fist to the face won’t fix.

235: He’s not much of a napper, his brain being far too active to let him rest during daylight hours.

236: He’s constantly moving, even in sleep.

237: Hell, give him a few hours after being knocked unconscious and he’ll start wiggling something around.

238: He doesn’t stop to smell the flowers, because if they wanted to be smelled they’d approach him.

239: He believes in the good of all humans, it’s just buried down past his Fight Everyone radar.

240: He only likes musicals about fighting Hitler.

241: His biggest regret is not punching Hitler.

242: He does not fear death, he does not fear punishment. He lives for his ideals and if he’s taken down believing in himself? Then that’s okay.

243: Jane needs deodorant reminders.

244: He takes personally being betrayed as people betraying the country of America.

245: (oh shit i slacked off it’s been like two days since i wrote something, Who Is Soldier?) CEREAL THEN MILK, MAGGOTS

246: Jane doesn’t know the word migraine so he really can’t describe how he feels.

247: Look, he loves his friends, he loves his guns, but he’s stingy with the word.. Love because that’s what he feels for America and the country will always be number one.....

248: Jane’s not too partial to sarcasm outside of combat, but it’ll find it’s way into his speech. His tone is usually hammed up to signify he’s joking around or being cruel.

249: He’s like a cartoon character, he can only understand sarcasm if it’s Funny to at the moment.

250: Jane likes his hair being pet.

251: He likes his hands being played with as much as he likes playing with other people’s hands. (A lot.)

252: He loves dogs, but is more of a cat person. Dogs and him just echo energy and HYPE feelings back and forth at each other until they pass out and then Jane feels more emotionally exhausted than hanging out with people.

253: The weirdest parts of rom-coms make him cry. 

254: He appreciates a good non-american explosion, but he has his preferences. 

255: You show Jane genuine kindness and interest and he’s like, Yours. Jane vc: Are you the vice-president?

256: If he were to have a reptile for a sidekick instead of a raccoon, he would have a turtle.

257: He can be delicate when he needs to be, but cracking eggs is a different story.

258: While not too partial to sugary beverages - he has a figure to maintain, root beer and ginger ale are his go-tos.

259: He can appreciate a salad! Jane Doe will eat his greens!!!!

260: Soldier has no tattoos, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be open to getting any. Just never crossed his mind.

SWEET SPIRIT OF JOE BIDEN AM I FINISHED?

thank you,... for reading my garbled thoughts.. for respecting The Soldier... and for being a creative individual. But mostly the respecting Soldier thing.