#but his centaur scrooge haunts my dreams

[frustratedpker]

My Ducktales knowledge

I finally admit that I have never watched Ducktales (I know, shame on me) so I ‘ll try to recap the show solely based on memes and posts I see on tumblr

Let’s do this!

It’s the duckverse but they have square heads

They all live together at Scrooge’s gigantic mansion, idk where he keeps his money and there’s a super ripped housekeeper lady

Everyone is afraid of said lady

Donald is a tired, underpaid millenial and a mood who gets dragged around by his hyperactive uncle

There was a point where he got jinxed to speak coherently and the fandom freaked out so I guess that for the rest of the show he has his usual pwaphwaphawahpwapha speech

He raises his three nephews by himself because Della pulled a Dreamworks mascot and somehow accidentally ended up on the moon

There’s also a fourth kid whose name I think is Webby

WHERE. DID. SHE. COME. FROM?? Whose is this kid? Where are her parents? Is she Donald’s illegitimate daughter? Is she another niece? I have no idea! I think they just  f o u n d  her and decided to keep her. Is she’s kinda of a stray taggalong?

She looks cute but there’s a spark in her eye that says she could kill me

Della while on the moon gets adopted by an alien robot lady goddess and has a cool prosthetic. She’s not very mature for an adult but she’s badass

At some point there is a granite ripped centaur with Scrooge’s head? WHAT IS THIS THING? I ‘ve never seen it talk so I guess it’s some kind of supernatural entity who stalks the gang

Goldie is also there! But she is an ex-partner of Scrooge from Klondike and now lives with them in the mansion? For some reason whoever they encounter ends up living with them

They live together and are practically married but they still won’t admit their feelings

In the Klondike days they danced a tango in a lava cave and she may have been or may have been not trying to mug him at the same time

BuT LeT tHe LaDY LeAD

and then she knocked him out with a shovel and disappeared from his life

Goldie has big dick energy

Goldie and Louie are the bad bitches squad built on their mutual love for exploitation

I stopped seeing Hewey and Dewey after some while so I guess that they were suffocated by Louie’s distinct personality

Scrooge is like 200+ years old but looks 80, I wanna know his secret

There’s an ancient god, Beak-Hercules, who falls in love with Donald because he finds his grumpiness and tiny physique adorable. He wants to keep him with him forever to worship at his altar but Donald gets away

Speaking of relationships WHERE IS DAISY? Is she ok? Is she dead?? Is this the reason why Doanld looks so sad all the time? Boy, I don’t trust this series! Give the boy back his fiancee!

Gyro is a hipster and probably a coffee addict but his fashion sense is cool

Magica is also there with a killer eyeshadow and shadow voodoo powers kinda like Dr Facilier from Princess and the Frog. She went a little bit too hard for that No 1 dime

There’s an edgy teenager who does black magic? WHERE DO ALL THESE KIDS COME FROM? Don’t they have parents? Duckburg social services better explain themselves

There are also characters named Launchpad and Drake (?), I know them from another series, they’re a pilot and vigilante respectively

They’re also husbants and have a daughter

But I have no idea how they ‘re related with the gang. I ‘ll take a guess and I’ll say Donald’s pals from the pub he once ended up to at 4am after a Duck Avenger mission

In the latest episodes Donald became a merman and the main guru of an underwater hippie gang

He ran away because his past life was to much but his family like the selfish beings they are go to fetch him because they don’t respect his voyage of self discovery