#but hey that's one way to make sure buck stays part of their family forever

[vampiritea]

was watching early 9-1-1 with my sister and then paused to talk about Buck and Eddie (as you do) and this conversation occurred:

@werewolfsmile: Buck will never leave Eddie and Chris. he's way too loyal and he also has abandonment issues so he's not gonna abandon them. So if Eddie never figures things out, I reckon Chris will eventually take matters into his own hands.

me: lmao I just pictured Chris turning 18 and saying "sorry dad but you had your chance. Buck, will you marry me?"

[mj-iza-writer]

Whumptober Day 11

Seeing Double - Convenience store - Loneliness - "leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist" (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)

"Whumpee, you can't run forever", Whumper, a police officer who picked on homeless people, yelled after them.

Whumpee rounded a corner, 'just a little farther.'

Whumper was catching up as Whumpee started to bang on a familiar door.

"Sanctuary please", Whumpee cried out, near tears, "please."

The door opened just as Whumper grabbed Whumpee from behind.

A figure stood by the door and glared at Whumper.

"How can I be of assistance", the figure stated coldly.

"Go back inside Villain, do not interfere", Whumper stated as they fought with Whumpee.

"I don't take orders from you", Villain crossed their arms, "Whumpee, what's going on?"

"Ow", Whumpee sobbed, and looked back at Whumper.

"You can let them go, they won't run", Villain stated.

"They'll run inside, and you'll slam the door", Whumper glared, "you did that last time."

Whumpee struggled, "I was trying to get food, then he showed up and yelled at me. Then, as I left the store, he started to chase me."

"You were stealing", Whumper stated.

"No, I had money, I kind lady gave me a few bucks, I was going to get food and a drink", Whumpee reached for their pocket, and pulled out some cash.

"I was called by the owner, they said you were being shady. They're tired of your kind stealing from them", Whumper argued.

"I was trying to read the different labels and prices", Whumpee sighed and looked at Villain, "I just wanted food, honest."

Villain's heart sunk when they heard those words.

"Clearly, there has been a misunderstanding", Villain frowned, "they haven't done anything wrong. I suggest you let them go."

Whumper sighed, but relented and released Whumpee.

Whumpee fell forward mid struggle.

"I'll get them. There will be a moment they won't get to you before I get them", Whumper grinned, "I swear it, even if I have to bother hero."

"Hero won't help you. They can't stand you. Hero runs charities for these people you pick at", Villain stated, "that is one thing me and Hero agree on, and I donate often to their organizations."

Whumpee had backed away from Whumper by now and was rubbing the area Whumper had grabbed.

"Whumpee, come inside", Villain ordered, and stepped outside to let Whumpee through the door.

Whumper frowned.

"Get off my property", Villain stated coldly, "you're not needed here."

"I'll get them, I'll get all of them and rid this city of pest", Whumper grinned evilly, and pointed at Whumpee who was only partially visible behind Villain, "and I'll start with that one."

Chills ran down Whumpee's spine.

Villain glared at Whumper, "and I will make sure you pay for it.... get off my property", Villain closed the door.

"I'm sorry Villain", Whumpee shook, "I didn't know what else....", Whumpee wiped their face.

"Hey its okay, as I always say, you are welcome here anytime", Villain led them down the hall, "how about you stay here for a few days, or honestly however long you need and want. I'll take care of you, you know that."

"I know, but I feel like I bother you", Whumpee hugged themself and looked at the ground while they walked, "I don't want to be in the way. I also feel bad for the others in my situation who don't have you to turn to. They have to deal with Whumper, especially if I'm not on the street to keep him off of them."

"As honorable as that sounds, you being a decoy for the others is not a good thing to do", Villain stopped as they had gotten farther into the house part of their headquarters, "there could be a chance you don't make it to me, and that's dangerous for you."

Whumpee nodded knowingly.

"Of course I refuse to tell you what to do as it's your life, but my advice is, stay here. You'll be safe and taken care of", Villain smiled, "you'll be part of my family."

"But what about the others? Whumper will just pick someone else", Whumpee sighed, "they aren't safe."

"That's for us to worry about", Villain grinned, "go into the living room, let's get you some food."

"Okay", Whumpee smiled weakly, "wait, you said us?"

Villain walked away, but pointed at the living room.

Whumpee poked their head into the room.

"Hero?", they gasped.

"Hey Whumpee", Hero laughed with a sheepish grin.

"What? Why are you here?", Whumpee walked farther into the room, "aren't you two enemies."

"Well yes, except for the subject of our troubled citizens. We both work together and try to help all of you as much as we can", Hero sat back, "I'm glad you got away from Whumper, I can't stand him, and I'm working on getting him removed and taken care of."

Villain walked in carrying a plate and cup, "here you go Whumpee.

"Thankyou", Whumpee took the things, and sat down.

Hero and Villain talked about a few more things before looking at Whumpee.

"What was the name of the shop you were at?", Hero frowned.

"Kay's Mini Mart, the convenient store on twelfth", Whumpee looked down, "I never went there before today, and I don't think I'll go back near it."

"I know that place", Hero nodded, "I always thought the owner was nice. I understand they were trying to protect their property, but they didn't give you a fair chance."

Whumpee nodded, "I'm not mad at them, I understand, but not all of us out there.... they just don't understand how the streets are... it's, it's hard. We don't want to steal, that's a last resort for most of us, but we also don't want to starve. It hurts to starve sir. Not everyone has someone to turn to either. We appreciate your shelters, but there's honestly not enough of them, no offence."

Hero nodded, "none taken, and I know. I promise more are coming as I get the funds."

Villain turned to Whumpee, "you would probably know. Where should the next one go, that's why Hero is here. We were talking about this when you knocked", Villain pointed at a map, "this is our city map, everywhere marked has a shelter either from Hero or a different organization."

Whumpee pointed right at a spot with out even thinking, "there", Whumpee sighed, "there is a heavy suicide rate in this area, and there is no hope for anyone there, or so it feels", Whumpee looked at Hero, "everyone in that area is pleading to whoever they believe in for a shelter. It's a tough place though, that's why there isn't one yet."

Hero smiled at Whumpee, "I promise that will change."

Whumpee yawned, then nodded tiredly at Hero, "they will be so happy to have you there."

Villain pulled a blanket from the back of the couch and covered Whumpee.

"I'm sorry, I'm tir....", Whumpee sighed and dozed off.

"I see Whumpee occasionally in the shelter, then they disappear for a while, and I get concerned", Hero looked at Villain, "is this a normal occurrence for them to run right to you like this?"

"A few years ago, I was wandering through town getting a few things. I rounded a corner just in time for Whumpee to run into me" Villain sat back, "I still remember their face, both apologetic and scared."

"What happened?", Hero listened with interest.

"They were new to the streets, and had gotten in a bit of trouble", Villain grinned, "law enforcement had chased them down the street for a few minutes before I showed up. Long story short, I claimed responsibility for them. The officer believed me and let them go with a warning."

Hero glanced over at Whumpee, who was snuggled into the blanket, happily snoring.

"They stay on the streets because of Whumper, they know they can run to me for shelter, and I will put Whumper in his place. Whumpee says it keeps Whumper off of the others", Villain frowned, "they stay here from time to time. They know full well, that day, I did indeed take full responsibility for them. I only wish they would stay here fully so I know they're safe."

Hero smiled, "so Villain does have a soft spot?"

"I always have a soft spot for homeless and struggling people", Villain sighed, "but yes, Whumpee has earned a special place in my heart."

Whumpee opened their eyes a bit later and looked around, Villain had turned on the television and was watching the news.

"Well, sleepyhead finally wakes up", Villain chuckled.

*Yawn*, "H-how long have I been out?", Whumpee looked around, "where's hero."

"You've been sleeping for a few hours", Villain grinned, "Hero had to leave, he had some work to do. He told me to behave tonight so he can do something."

Whumpee grinned.

"So I'm being good", Villain sat back, "he said to watch the news."

They both turned when Hero suddenly appeared on the screen. He was in an interview.

From the news:

Interviewer: "So why did you make this arrest?"

Background video showed Whumper being arrested and led by police and hero.

Hero: "I've been watching this officer, Whumper, for a while now. He has been a big terror to our homeless citizens since he received his badge. I just witnessed him threaten one of their lives. I do not feel safe and trust the safety of all of our citizens to this power hungry individual."

Interviewer: "Speaking of the homeless situation, did we hear you will be starting another shelter in a tough side of town?"

Hero: "Yes, I am very excited to start this one. I hear that this is a bad side of town, and no other shelters have been able to go in there. I hope to change that."

Interviewer: turns to the camera. "Hero is going to need help. Here is a link if you want to donate to his work with the homeless and others struggling. We will report more on Officer Whumper once we have more information. Goodnight."

Whumpee's jaw dropped the moment Whumper was being arrested, then stayed open through the entire interview.

"Well I guess I'm glad I stayed home", Villain chuckled, "I would have missed that, plus, it may not of happened."

Whumpee nodded.

"So with that then, Whumper is hopefully going to prison. Can you please just stay here?", Villain pleaded, "you will not be in my way at all, and I'd be happy if you stayed. I'd know you were safe. You keep giving me gray hair."

"Are you sure you want me to stay here?", Whumpee giggled.

"Yes", Villain groaned dramatically, "yes yes a hundred times yes."

"Okay, I will be happy to stay with you", Whumpee continued to laugh.

"Finally", Villain through their hands up in celebration.

"I have a home", Whumpee whispered as they realized more of what that meant.

"A home. A family", Villain smiled, "I am so happy you finally said yes."

Whumpee smiled, "thankyou so much."

"You're welcome", Villain smiled wider, "thankyou."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived

@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid

@monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz

@bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13

@notpeppermint @cyborg0109

@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots

@whumpbump @everythingsscary

@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr

@theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee

@candleshopmenace @whumpanthems

@lavndvrr @ivymyers

@starfields08000 @a-living-canvas

@lumpofsand @watermeezer

@indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains

@3-2-whump @risk606

@electrons2006 @paperprinxe

@whumprince @kaz-of-crows

@mis-graves @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94

@sausages-things @ragin-cajun-fangirl

@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud

@valravnthefrenchie @glennemerald

@jasperthecapser @does-directions

@deafeninglittlecrown @jumpywhumpywriter

[spiceandherbs]

I'm both a bucktommy and a buddie lover tbh. If Buck stays with Tommy and gets married to a man who makes him feel safe and loved in a way his previous relationships didn't? perfect. 10/10, would be content.

But also... I like the idea of Tommy being that safe space for Buck and Buck learning what he deserves out of a relationship -- learning that he matters too. While Buck is having this first queer relationship, Eddie heals. He does stuff for him, alone, because Chris is gone and he's coming to terms with the fact he's always had someone, and doesn't know how to be alone. But he learns.

And both buck and eddie are healing in different ways, but they're both so happy for each other. And then, when Buck and Tommy amicably part ways (maybe Bucks ready for a family and everything Right Now and Tommy isn't, idk), he tells Eddie that he's feeling more secure in himself than ever -- he's buck 4.0. Eddie says he knows what buck means - since he and his therapist have been talking, he's realized that he's probably gay, and he feels secure in a way he hasn't, ever.

and. it's said so casually and buck just congratulates him on finding himself and moves on, but later, his brain is just. stuck on it. Eddie is gay. it's on repeat in his head. Eddie is gay. Eddie is an...option? And then he goes to Maddie and is like "I loved Tommy but do you think I'm in love with Eddie?" and she's like "oh god, let's sit down."

But the thing is, Eddie already knows he's in love with Buck, and has been for years now. It was a realization he had in therapy -- that when he's been dating (really looking for a mom for Christopher because that's what he's Supposed to Do) he's just been looking for a woman version of Buck because that's what his parents wanted, but no one could ever compare. Because it's Buck.

So when Buck comes up to Eddie a week later like "hey so. I uh" Eddie, now sure of himself in a way he wasn't before, knowing buck the way he does, just goes "I know. I'm in love with you too." and he barely has a second to think before bucks on him, surrounding him, and theyre not really kissing because they're smiling too wide, but there's hoots and hollars and a few "about fucking time" remarks from the rest of the House.

idk I think it'd be great to see buck experience healthy, great love, and THEN find his forever love. Though it's not even really finding, is it? Because loving Eddie is like breathing.

[xunandran]

Tease (more than a) Tidbit Tuesday

Back again with some from my Eddie Diaz Coma story: Forever only exists in Dreams and Stories. This time, we're in the real world, three years+ post season 7, dealing with Buck and Tommy and Christopher. Buck and Tommy's marriage has been over for months, they've just recently admitted it. Christopher's still reeling from his father's accident.

Forever only exists in dreams and stories (unfinished)

The house is quiet when Buck opens the front door. “Tommy? I know I’m not supposed to be here today, but I have Christopher with me. I’ll get him settled in the guest room and I can stay in the office.” No response. Not unexpected. Buck points to the hall in the back. “Guest room is on the left past the bathroom. There are blankets in the closet.”

Christopher’s eyes linger on the kitchen and his stomach growls loudly, betraying his hunger. Buck doesn’t acknowledge it as the teen stalks down the hall toward the guest room. Buck sighs and sets down Eddie’s suitcase before walking into the kitchen to see if there are any leftovers or anything he can whip up. It takes little time to scrounge a couple sandwiches together that he quietly sets to the side of the door of the guest room. “There’s some food out here for you.” He lingers, fingers pressed against the door for a breath before walking back to his office at the other side of the house.  

Buck’s office is neat and organized. He has a modest desk with a laptop, a few files that he’s brought home from work, and a small planter, half-dead succulent and some decorative rocks that, given time, he’s sure he’ll figure out how to kill too. He wipes a thin layer of dust off the closed laptop. Has it been so long since he’s used it? While the laptop boots, Buck pulls his phone and dials a number, putting it on speaker. 

“Buck?�� Bobby’s voice is gravelly on the other end of the phone. 

“Hey Cap- er… Bobby!” He was never going to get used to not calling Bobby Cap. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“You didn’t wake me, Buck. Athena and I are just doing the crossword before we turn in. What’s up? You’ve not burned down my fire station yet, have you?”

“One forgotten lasagna, Bobby!” Buck tries to sound exasperated, but he can’t help but smile. It might be the first smile he’s had all day that feels remotely genuine and not forced. 

“Speaking of… Athena wants to know if we can expect you this weekend for the barbecue. Everyone else has already confirmed, and May’s even going to be in town and would love to see you.” 

Buck’s short smile fades. “I don’t know Bobby. I’ve got all this paper-”

“It’ll be good for you to see your friends, Buck. Part of learning to not let that job crush you is learning how to put it aside when you can.”

“I wish it was only work.” Buck sighs and logs into the powered up laptop. After a few updates patch their way through, the past punches him in the throat in the form of his background, a candid shot of him, Eddie, Tommy, Hen and Chimney after their medal ceremony. He slams the laptop shut like he’s grabbed fire. 

“So things aren’t any better between you and Tommy?”

Buck sighs again, leaning back in his chair. “We’re signing the paperwork this Friday. We’ve still got a couple of things to get sorted here, but we’ve gotten all the deeds and everything transferred into either my or Tommy’s name.”

“Where are you going to go?”

Buck can hear Athena in the background, but he can’t quite make out what she’s saying. “Maddie and Chimney said I can use their guest room until I can find an apartment. It’ll be good to see Jee.”

“And to be around family. I’m really sorry, Buck. I was really hoping you guys would figure it out.”

Buck sniffs, wiping away a tear trailing its way down his cheek. “Me too, Bobby. I guess I’m too defective for even the most patient person.”

“Don’t say that, Buck. These things happen.” There’s a rustle on the other end of the line, likely Athena taking their newspaper. Bobby’s voice is muted for a moment, as if he’s covered the phone with his hand. Buck sits and waits. “Sorry about that, Buck. How’s Eddie?” Buck sits in silence, staring at the phone. After all these years, Bobby still knows him perfectly, because he fills the space. “Ravi called me. He had a question about the fire house and he didn’t want to bother you.”

“He’s… He’s not good, Bobby.”

“I thought he was in El Paso.”

“He was. I don’t know what he’s doing up here. I have Christopher with me, but he hasn’t said.”

“How is he doing?”

Buck blinks back the stinging tears from the simple question. “He’s so angry, Bobby. I mean, I get being scared and lashing out, but this is deeper. I… I think he hates me, and I don’t know what I do about that.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, Buck. Like you said, he’s scared and it’s been what, three years? He’s processing some big feelings right now. You’re just going to have to give him time and space.”

Buck sighs in resignation. “Time’s the one thing I’m not sure we have…” Buck can hear the hesitation on the other end of the line. “Spit it out, Bobby.”

The older man sighs. “Then maybe it’s a good thing it happened here instead of in El Paso.”

“Why?”

“So you can address the things between the two of you that never got said… before it’s too late.”

Buck stares at the phone, Bobby’s words rattling around in his head. “I-I gotta go, Bobby. Give Athena my love.”

“Buck… Come over this weekend. Bring Christopher. You don’t have to go through all this alone.”

Buck presses the large red button and pulls his knees to his chest. The soft rock of the office chair is almost a comfort, and while he doesn’t get anything that could be considered restful sleep, he at least gets some sleep. 

===

For the last several weeks in the Buckley-Kinard house, silence has been the norm. Ever since *that* talk, Buck and Tommy had each done everything in their power to not be in the place at the same time as the other. Buck’s reason? It hurt. He didn’t know Tommy’s. He still hasn’t had the courage to ask. So when Tommy’s rich baritone laugh, the one that used to be reserved for him, echoes through the house, he perks up from a dreamless, uncomfortable sleep. 

He hesitates at his office door. He can smell breakfast, eggs and bacon. He imagines toast with jam and butter, Tommy’s tea cup, emblazoned with ‘world’s okayest pilot’, a white elephant gift from their first christmas together that Buck had picked secretly hoping that Tommy would trade for it. He did. His memory is warm and happy, a far cry from the cold loneliness of recent weeks. 

Tommy’s in the middle of some pilot story when Buck finally walks into the kitchen. His smile evaporates at Buck’s presence and with a small cough, he continues preparing his lunch. Christopher looks up from his plate of breakfast. Buck can’t help but notice there’s only one plate. He’s not surprised but still a little sad. Christopher also clams up, his elusive smile vanishing like the sun behind clouds. Buck tries to take up as little space as possible as he prepares his small coffee maker, one of the few remaining things in the house that’s his.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Could I request a Bucky Barnes x reader smut? Basically she and Bucky have been together for some time and maybe it’d be a little angst where the two are talking about the future and Bucky not thinking he can ever have a normal future? Which would result in soft smut and later reader being revealed as pregnant so Bucky finally gets his family

I’m Home

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary | based on the request ^^

Warnings | angst, smut, oral sex (m receiving), fluff, pregnancy, mentions of death

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

The Wilson’s boat rocked sturdily upon the water, swaying as the boats worked aboard. Your hand held the weight of a silver spanner, twirling it in your fist as though it were a knife, thinking of the long road ahead of you. Sam had the shield now, that was a good start, but still, there was a ways to go until the world recognised him as the captain that he was meant to be.

There was so much destruction ongoing in the world, what with the flag smashers, and whomever the power broker was, and surely, you knew on the shallow surface, that there would be masses more problems to arise. It was exhausting, to know that there was no end to the war on earth, and that you were surely going to be fighting the threats until you could no more.

Bucky felt the same; he had just gone from one war to another, losing everyone that he cared about along the way. Steve had given everything up to finally find peace, and yet, the two did not share the same opportunity. An escape was never laid at your feet, instead, the pair of you were trapped in the cycle of cruelty, being blended around in a shredder by reality.

“Hey.” A voice confiscated you from the lonesome containment of your thoughts; it was Sam’s hosting sister, Sarah. I’m her own way, though you doubted that she would never admit such a thing, she was a hero. She had become a widow, and not to mention she remained a stable mother to keep her boys afloat, as well as nurturing half the kids that lived within close proximity.

“Hi Sarah.” You put the tool down, giving her your ample attention as you stood, tugging your fingers into the loops of your jeans as you stepped out of the boat, and onto the dock. “Anything I can help with?” It hadn’t passed your attention that Sam and Bucky had disappeared, but not into ash like last time. Instead, they had walked off in the direction of the house, most likely meddling about with a ball, in the back yard with Jim and Jody.

“I just came to let you know I’ve made the sofa up for you and Bucky. Are you sure you’ll be all good, I could always kick Sam outta his bed and make him sleep on the living room floor?” The two of you had nightmares, if you were to be separated from him for even a night, it was certain that the pair of you would greatly suffer. That was something you didn’t want to burden any of the Wilson’s with, screaming in the middle of the night because flashes from your past struck an unconscious nerve.

“All good, and thank you Sarah. You didn’t have to let us stay here, we both appreciate it, a hell of a lot.” One thing that you had learnt throughout your years was to show gratitude. The smallest amount shared had the ability to spring up moods, and had even set you on a much more heroic path than the one that you had been originally been placed upon.

“You’ve earned your stay.” Sam’s sister shrugged with modesty, acknowledging the help that you and Bucky had not only given to Sam, but to her family’s legacy. The two of you had aided with fixing the old wreckage that had now returned to the form of a boat, keeping it afloat rather than permitting it to sink from the quarrels that Sam had with himself regarding fixing the damned yet meaningful port of transport.

“This life you have, it’s great. I get it’s not easy, but it’s beautiful. You have two wonderful kids, that you’ve done such a great job raising, and not to mention, these community that you have is so loving and kind, even to us outsiders.” The pair of you had paused outside of her front door, speaking. “Sam is lucky to have you, he truly is.”

“Well, maybe one day this life could be something similar to what you’ll have.” The sister of your friend smiled, though your mirroring expression retracted. In a stumble of thought, you shook your head, not believing that possibility. This all was... perfect. That was something that you had never had, nor would you think that you’d ever be permitted such a peaceful lifestyle.

“I don’t think that would work out.” You sincerely mumbled, feeling the sad swelling in your chest at the prospect of all the luxuries that life had denied both you and Bucky of. It wasn’t fair all the same, but the two of you were used to being denied human rights, let alone the simplicity of nothing more than a life together. “As nice as it sounds, me and Buck aren’t really cut out for all this I suppose.”

“The world does not choose who can and cannot have a family, there’s always a way. Just because you haven’t had the most ideal line of story does not at all mean that you can’t make it work, from as much as i know, you two deserve a life together, that doesn’t include being shot at, or shooting at other people. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta go for it, and hope for the best.” She gave you a final nod, before heading inside, and you trailed after her into her her residency.

The two of you went your separate ways, and there, you saw Bucky, sat up on the sofa, his hands clasped together as his eyes stared towards the tan bag, that concealed not the shape, but the Stars and Stripes of the infamous shield. It was much a relief that it was no longer in Walker’s toxic clutch, however its presence, among other things, were taking a clear toll on your boyfriend.

“You ever feel like we’re stuck?” The air was tense around you both as he spoke solemnly, it diverting to match the mood of his question. “Like we’re us, and I love us, but it makes me think that it’s it. Just me and you, on this path for the rest of our lives, never getting a compensated break, nor an average person’s future. I want this, what these people here have, not the combat that is aided by this metal arm, or the associations that stick to us like life lines.”

“All the time, it’s on my mind James.” With a sigh, you came to sit beside him on the couch, resting your head against his bionic shoulder. “I ever wonder if there’s a timeline of you and me where there’s none of this ruckus, we just have a nice little house in a quiet and accepting place, and maybe a kid or two in the future.”

“I’d give anything up for that.” He looked at you, almost wide eyed, as his hand slithered down onto your knee cap, rubbing small circles as he wore a blunt and endearing smile upon his infatuating lips. “I mean that Buck, that sounds...”

“Perfect?” He asked, leaning closer as he grabs your chin with his wondrous fingers, his nose brushing alongside your own as his puckered lips fell upon yours, earning a small hun of content from within you. “Because you’re perfect to me, and no matter what life we are encased in, I want to share it with you. I want stare at the night sky and watch the moonlight illuminate the side of your face, and the stars reflect in your entrapping eyes, that I want to look into like a medium’s orbs forever, because that is how I will see the future that I ever so hope for.”

“How long have you been working on that one Barnes, because you are usually not that smooth?” A small laugh erupted from your mouth, but you were quickly silenced as you felt a cold metal hand slither up and beneath the back of your tank top, rubbing along the seam of your spine, as his lips ran down the column of your throat, evoking small and delicate whimpers out of you.

“Shut up doll, because I really want to fuck you now, and those words leaving your mouth are making it kinda hard to concentrate.” A furrow imbedded between his brows, as you tilted your head at him, a smirk proclaiming your expression as you pulled the material over your head, and reached behind yourself to unclip the back of your bra.

“Kinda hard to concentrate, hun?” You asked nonchalantly as his gaze zeroed in on your bare breasts, his hands smoothing along your ribcage as he adjusted his grip of you so that he was palming at your breasts, and squeezing the nipples. “I want you in me baby, I’ve practically gone days without you inside of me.” Licking your lips, you reached down to palm your beloved through his layers, earning a positive groan from the former assassin.

“Hours, you mean. I fingered you on the road trip here.” Yes, that was true, however, it was only his fingers, not even the metal ones, and whilst you loved what they alone could do, he had to be discreet as you were sat on the back of the truck, which had carried the primary parts for the Wilson’s family boat. If you were to scream out, they’d have surely thought that you’d fallen off the back of the truck and pull over, or if they had much sense, they’d have noticed that there was more going on than two passengers sat side by side on the journey to their small neighbourhood by the docks,

“You heard me Barnes, otherwise I’m sure Sam wouldn’t have any problem if I came to his room in this state of undress that I am currently portraying.” Growling was never Bucky’s fortes, however the sound aggressively ripped through the tunnel of his throat, as he threw off his grey top, quickly unfastening his belt, as he awaited for you to strip the rest of your clothing before him.

But rather than doing so, as he stood before you, your hand had trouble resisting the sight of his cock that had bobbed to attention, and thus, you wrapped it around his toned flesh, giving it a couple jerks that had his head reeling back, before you tongued his tip, moaning to yourself at the taste of him invading your sensitive taste buds. “Love your cock.”

As soon as you said that, Bucky gently gathered your head in a ponytail so that it was free from bombarding your face, and groaned as quiet as he could as you sucked him in your mouth, running your tongue up the side of his shaft. “Is that a part of your dream world baby doll, the sight of my cock throbbing to be inching down that perfect little throat of yours?”

To answer him, you pressed your head down deeper, humming around him as your eyes ogled up at the sight of your super soldier, who was trying his hardest to keep his eyes open, and attuned to the sight of you. He held his bottom lip between his teeth, as you lightly gagged around him, pulling off him, and squeezing his balls, before running your hungry tongue along the middle of his sack.

“Always. It would be a dream if you made love to me right here and now though, I’m not sure I can wait any longer James.” Bucky took a long inhale, before ravishingly pulling down your jeans and panties in one go, and tossing you so that he was below your form, and you hovered over him, toying with his erect cock. “I love you so much Bucky, and I’m scared of what’s to come. I have a feeling that there’s gonna be a fight.”

“There’s always a fight doll face.” He rubbed his thumb soothingly across your jaw, pulling your hips down closer so that you were rubbing your slick folds against his standing cock. “But this is what we’re fighting for, the rest of our lives together. I’d be damned, one day after this, and if I were to die, I’d be a happy man. There’d be the memory of you to keep me forever happy in the afterlife, and not to mention, there’d be no more wars for me to participate in.”

“I’m not going to let you die Buck, even hypothetically. We saw how your little hypothetical synopsis went last time.” Tapping his cock against your clit, a breathy sound evicted from your lips, as you stared down at the two of you intimately touching, the sight alone making you more turned on and impatient. “No one is allowed to kill you, otherwise I’ll unleash hell on all their flag smashing asses.”

Giving him one last stroke, you guided his tip towards your entrance, removing your hand once you had him situated, so that you could rest it upon his sturdy shoulder, and sink down on him, the feeling of him stretching you being the most euphoric sensation that you had ever endured. Hushed moans ceased from the both of you, as Bucky’s hands gripped your ass cheeks, only adding to all of the pleasure that was erupting within you.

“Think your pussy is gonna kill me before anyone else does; your so tight.” His pitch had rose, as your fingertips danced along the left side of his handsome face, invisibly connecting the dots of his beauty marks. You allowed the pair of you to adjust for a simple moment, before you began to raise your hips, sliding up his super soldier rod, only to slide down it again.

The actions were repeated, as your own hands trailed down his warm skin, to drag down the golden lines of his vibranium arm, only to bring the weapon to your mouth, and kiss every black finger up, as you tried your best to muffle the moans that were hoping to reap free. “So fucking big, I love you and your cock.” You muttered, your sight turning blurry as Bucky realised that it was his turn to do the work, and thus, he thrusted up into you, making echoing sounds of your skin slapping together reverberate around the room.

“Love you more.” He gritted his teeth, pulling his metallic hand away from your numb lips, so that he could swirl the elegant digits around your clit, the action provoking whimpers to rapidly surpass your exterior, as you bit harshly onto your own lip, and screwed your eyes shut. “Cum for me doll, want you to cover my hard cock in everything you have. Come on baby, you can do it.”

Without much thought, as your mind was too scrambled to do so, you reached for Bucky’s spare hand, pulling it to your mouth as you sucked on his fingers as though you were blowing him. A low moan that was dialled down from the presence of his flesh digits, ran from your mouth, as you began to bounce your hips, chasing and eventually reaching your high. You came around him, pushing him too over the edge, his seed filling your walls, as you collapsed atop of him, huffing from exhaustion as you removed his salivated hand from the realms of your mouth, resting your head against his panting chest.

Stringed sighs fell from Bucky’s breath as he tried to catch his own breath. His hands rubbed your back, not only to comfort you, but also to subconsciously pull you closer against him, and his softening cock that was still inside you, and was keeping his cum plugged within your tender and pulsating walls. If life was easier, there’d be more time for this, and that, but for now, it was just every now and then. Maybe you’d win this fight and survive until the next one, but maybe, you’d lose and never battle again.

Life was precious, that was something that you had not only learned as an avenger, but also something that had been told to you by Isiah. That man thought that you deserved a normal life, no fighting, no super soldiers. He himself was the biggest yet silent critic of those with additional strength, but his opinion was never going to sway you, not as you stared out into Sarah’s backyard, and watched the man that you loved play with the boys.

They had the shield, and were whisking it through the air like a frisbee; dangerous, yes, but again, life could only amount to so much without an ounce of pain. A content and satisfied smile absorbed any pain on your face, you were enraptured with the sight of Bucky like this, he was like an uncle to these two kids. He was no captain America, that was for sure, but you didn’t want a man in Stars and Stripes, all you wanted was him to be at peace, and it was a fact unbeknownst to him, that you had made such an alternative to that.

“Still want all this?” Sarah emerged, a cheap yet formidable bottle of wine pursed in her hand, as she held two clear and tall glasses in her hand. You hummed, watching as she poured the thin red consistency into one glass, but as she went to fill the other, you held out your hand, shaking your head. The woman was confused, last time you had visited, and were entangled on her sofa with the limbs of your boyfriend and a shaggy old blanket, you had kindly accepted her offer.

“Sure do.” You sighed, staring out into the green abyss where Jim was hanging from Bucky’s arm like it were a branch. “How do you do this, this whole mother thing? I’ve never been able to wrap my head around how you make it look so easy, it’s just, you do such a good job.” Your palms rested flat on your thighs as you laughed at Sam ordering Jody to jump on Bucky’s back, as he fell down in faux defeat.

“It never is easy y/n.” She placed the open bottle down, along with the mismatched glasses, that were asymmetrical considering one was half filled and the other wallowed in emptiness. “But every step of difficulty is worth it. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss their father, but they’re my priority. For Jim and Jody, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do, and you’d understand that if you ever opened yourself up to giving your life of heroism up to have all this.”

“I might have to.” Twiddling with your fingers, glancing up at your boyfriend, realising that he was in fact not looking over, you clasped your intwined hands over your stomach, smiling softly to yourself. “And maybe not having another option is the best option for me and Buck, because we don’t have to fight with ourselves over being included in our duties, we have new ones.”

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Sarah asked, resting her nurturing hand upon the tile of your shoulder, prompting you to turn your face towards her. There was a conflict in your eyes, it was something that she recognised her younger self having once worn. It was the idea of putting everything aside, all for a child, everything that she had ever known, so that she could put her baby boy first. “Does Bucky know?”

“He will.” You shifted your head down, unsure of yourself. This had been what you had wanted, and whilst you still envied Sarah for the role she had, you were hurt. A part of you wanted to be an avenger until you were nothing but a soul drifting in the abyss of non existence, another didn’t want to let the knowledge of being a carrier for a new future crumble you. “I just need a moment to tell him.”

“I’ve got it.” She sent you a wink, picking up the items she had brought out, before she called on Sam and the kids to come inside. Sarah had gifted you the opportunity of revealing the truth to your partner with no one else around; you appreciated that. As he stalked closer, you met him halfway, sinking into his arms as he hugged you.

“Looked like you were having fun with the boys.” You verbally noted, loving the feeling of him running his fingers through your hair. “You’re amazing Bucky Barnes, to me and to everyone. I just, don’t want you to freak out on me, I have something big, really big, to tell you, and-“

“Baby, I know.” He smiled, pulling back so that he could look you in the face. “I have super human senses, I heard their little heart beat for the first time yesterday. We’re having a baby, and I couldn’t be happier about it. In fact, I want to ask you if you’ll accept my question of making Sam the godfather.” You nodded, tears standing in your eyes, as you brought the man down for a kiss.

“Yes. But I’m not sure that he’ll be praising us for making a baby when we technically created him or her on the couch inside.” Bucky shook his head at you, kissing your forehead before walking inside with you, preparing to tell the Wilson family, that had along the way became your own, the good news- well, not the sofa bit.

[chaoticforever]

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures | Yandere Tony and Yandere Steve x Male! Reader

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers.

Are two men with very different and very strong personalities. Both tend to get into arguments and didn't really have things in common. Well, until you came along and managed to steal the heart of Iron Man and Captain America. 

You, Y/N L/N. The newest member of the Avengers who was in your mid-20s and graduated from SHIELD academy, and ended up being recruited by Fury. 

And from the first day they laid their eyes on you, you've managed to turn everything around with just one look.

Created a dark, possessive monster inside the Billionaire and super-soldier. 

They loved every part of you and the sole purpose of their lives was to get you to be one of theirs forever. 

Of course, this has caused them both to argue more frequently than they did, and the other Avengers were getting fed up with it. So, they both resorted to doing many different things to gain your love and affection. 

Tony resorted to spending his wealth and luxuries. He's constantly spoiling you with gifts and even took you flying in his private jet with just the two of you.

Steve wasn't from this time, but he knew that if he wanted you, he needed to be himself, so that's what he did. He took you out to your favorite restaurants and other places to your liking. You seemed to be having a good time, which made Steve think he is winning against Tony. 

They wouldn't stop until they both succeeded in winning your heart. 

You and Steve were currently training in the gym after punching the punching bags. Though you didn't need to train, you liked training with Steve. Tony watched you both train through the cameras he had installed to make sure that Steve didn't try anything with you. 

Steve was a little more skilled in fighting than you, but he should learn to never underestimate you. Without warning, Steve threw a punch at you and missed as you did a special move and flipped him on the ground as he groaned. 

"How did you manage to do that?" Steve asked breathlessly from underneath you, blushing from the position you both were in. 

"Because I'm awesome and amazing." You said cockily with a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders as you smirked down at the super soldier, "Guess I'm stronger than you." 

In a split second, Steve flipped you over and pinned your arm down as your eyes widened in surprise. That damn super Soldier serum strength. Steve was now smirking down at you, "I'm still stronger."

He put his hand on your cheek, startling you slightly as you felt heat crawl up to your face. Steve decided to get a little bold and leaned down, slowly closing the distance between you two, but the sound of your phone blared throughout the gym. You both jumped, and you got up from underneath Steve to check it. 

Crap, I was so close to kissing him. Steve thought as Tony clenched his fist in his hand, feeling a sudden urge to call for his suit and shoot a lot of repulsors at Steve. 

I can't believe I almost kissed Captain America. What is wrong with me? You thought and shook your head, checking to see who called you and the unread message. 

Seeing the message made you let out a huff of annoyance. Steve frowned and walked over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look at him. 

"Are you alright, Y/N?" 

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just fine."

Steve didn't believe you, but he'll let it go for the time being, "Hey, are you hungry? I can make you something or we can go out to lunch." He smiled at you. 

"I would love to go out to lunch with you, but I promised Tony I would help down in the lab after I was done training." You sent him an apologetic smile. 

Steve clenched his teeth at the fact that you were spending time with Tony. He didn't want you to be alone with him. He hoped at least Bruce was in the lab with you, but then again, Tony would still try to make a move with Bruce there or not. 

"Mr. L/N, sir would like to see you in his lab now." Jarvis said. 

"Okay, I'll see you later, Steve." 

You left the gym, not knowing that you left behind a jealous and fuming Steve. 

You took a shower and changed as quickly as possible, running to the elevator and nearly bumped into Tony who had a coffee mug in his hand. 

"There you are, Y/N! I was wondering what was taking you so long." Tony said, stepping back into the elevator along with you and taking a sip of his coffee. 

"Just need to take a shower and change first. Training made me very sweaty," You replied, "So, what are we working on today?" 

"We aren't working on anything today." 

The elevator stopped and you both entered the lab, as you looked at Tony in confusion, "But I thought we were-" 

"Nope! You are going to try on the new suit I designed for you." He presses a button, which brings out the suit. 

"Wait. I'm actually getting my own suit?" You asked, trying to keep the excitement out of your voice, but failing miserably. 

Tony nodded, "Yeah, and with this suit, you'll have full optimal protection along with other special modifications. It'll be good for future missions as well." He boasted proudly of his new design. 

"It's perfect! Can I try it on now?" 

"I don't see why not. Go ahead!" 

He takes the suit out of the package and you took it, running into another room to get changed, but not before planting a kiss on Tony's cheek. He still stood in the same spot and blushed, taking a deep breath in. 

The suit felt amazing on your body. It was quite comfortable and nobody can ever say that you don't look good in this suit cause that would be a lie.

This black suit could help you blend into the environment better and look good at the same time. 

"I can't believe you tried to kiss him! And then show up down here in my lab!" You heard Tony speaking to someone in a hushed tone and you decided to listen in. 

"Mellow out, Stark. Don't act like you haven't tried to when you're alone with him." You heard Steve's voice spoken in a hushed tone as well. 

"Doesn't matter. I do what I want, and I want you to stay away from him." 

"I don't have to listen to you!" 

"I'd strongly suggest you do." 

"Hey, how do I look?" You step out and show them how your suit looks on you, putting an end to this unnecessary argument as they both looked at you. 

Both, Steve and Tony's mouths fell open slightly at the way you looked in that black suit, "...Hot." Was the word that came out of their mouth simultaneously and you chuckled. 

"I know. Thank you." You responded. Just then, you got a message on your phone and resisted the urge to sigh, "Sorry, Tony. I have to leave right now." 

"What? Why?" Tony narrowed his eyes as Steve stood next to him, waiting for your answer. 

"Well, one of my friends from SHIELD Academy wanted to meet up with me." 

"And what's their name?" Steve asked.  

"His name is Tyler and I forgot we made lunch plans together, so I'm going to go and get ready. I'll see you guys later. I won't be gone for more than an hour."

Quickly, you walked out of the lab and left behind two people together in a room with one sole purpose. And they realized that someone else might be in their way. 

Around twenty minutes later, you were done getting dressed, wearing a casual outfit. It was probably a little much for going out with a friend. Oh well. You always dress to impress. 

"Where are you going looking that good? A date, perhaps?" You heard Natasha ask and turned around to see her in the doorway with Clint, smirking at you. 

"If you must know, I'm not going on a date. Just going out with a friend." 

"Oh c'mon. There's no way you're going out with a friend when you look that hot. It's totally a date," Clint said, "I bet you fifty bucks he's gonna have sex." 

You rolled your eyes, letting out a snort, "It's not a date and I won't be having sex. Tyler just wants to know what's been happening in my life and how I fit in around here." 

"Well, make sure to tell him that you fit in just fine around here. This is your home." Natasha tells you. 

"Home." You whispered in a flat tone, putting on your jacket and shoes. 

"Yeah! You're an Avenger now. It might not feel like home since you're still pretty new here, but it will soon." Clint chimed in and you nodded with a smile. 

You went down to the living room where all the other Avengers were sitting and said your goodbyes. Then, you walked out of the tower to go and meet Tyler. 

XXXXX XXXXX 

"Come dance with me, Y/N." Tyler asked, placing his drink down and offering you his hand with a smile. You two went out to lunch before coming out to a bar. You two had an interesting conversation. 

Even though you said you would be gone for an hour, that turned into three. 

"Um, right now?" 

"No, when we are old and gray. Of course, I meant right now." You rolled your eyes but took his hand and he led you onto the dance floor where other couples were dancing as well. 

Soon, you were wrapped in his arms, swaying to the rhythm of the music, "Remember what I told you to do. Take out the Avengers before it's too late." 

You let out a sigh, not wanting to have this conversation right now or at all for that matter. Unfortunately, some Hydra agents did invade SHIELD and recruited Tyler. They were trying to recruit you too, but you didn't want to be a part of that. 

You didn't want to hurt or kill the Avengers. You actually liked them and saw them as family. You wanted to protect and help people, not hurt them. 

"I don't want to have this conversation right now." You stated and lifted your head up from his chest to see that he looked like he was struggling to breathe and frowned, "Tyler? You alright there?" 

Suddenly, Tyler collapsed onto the floor, passing out as some people came over to see what happened. You were about to check on him when a Hydra Agent came over and placed a hand on your shoulder, "Get back to the tower. You have a job to do. Don't forget." 

You let out a dramatic huff but walked back to the tower. When you got back to the tower, you went straight to the bathroom and splashed some water on your face, drying it with a washcloth. 

Fuck it, you decided that you aren't killing any of the Avengers. You were basically a member now. You get to save people's lives and that's what you wanted to do. Hydra would have to kill you before you think about hurting the team. 

You entered your room at the exact moment someone knocks on your door. Ugh, seriously? You wanted to blast your music and read a book or something. Who the hell is knocking at your door? 

You opened the door and Tony and Steve were standing in the doorway, "Hey, Y/N. How was your date?" Steve asked, voice dripping with bitterness. 

"It wasn't a date," You corrected, and sighed in slight exasperation, "But I had a good time. What are you guys doing here?" 

"Cap and I came here to ask you a question." Tony spoke up confidently. 

"What is it?" 

Suddenly, both Steve and Tony grabbed one of your hands, startling you slightly.

"Y/N. We really like you. A lot."

"And we want to know who you like back." They pulled you closer to them, gripping your waist in a possessive manner. 

You looked back and forth between both of the men standing before you, clearing your throat roughly. You've known for some time now that they had a crush on you. It wasn't hard to tell. 

You liked both these men a lot. Though the way you liked them was different than the way they loved you. Their obsession ran deep and there wasn't anything they wouldn't do for you. 

"...I kinda like both of you." You said and watched them closely for their reactions

"Well, we don't mind sharing you," Tony declared, "You want to be ours, right?" 

"Yeah, I'll be both of yours." Oh, you didn't know what saying those words would do to the genius and the blonde.  All you wanted to do was take a nap after the crazy day you had. 

And that's what you did. 

You fell asleep in a matter of minutes as Tony and Steve laid on both sides of you, cuddling with you in content. 

"Didn't I tell you that everything would work out perfectly?" Tony questioned. 

"I hate to say it, but you were right, Tony. And I'm glad that you were right." Steve responded, wrapping his arm tighter around your waist and kissing your neck.

Once you left the lab, Tony and Steve could only think about the fact that you were going on a date with some guy and they couldn't let that happen. 

They didn't want to do this, but they created a partnership of sorts to make sure that no one else could have you. They didn't want to share you. Both of them wouldn't stop trying to win your heart and kill each other. But, you know what they say. 

Sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures. 

Everyone wants to at least fuck you. I mean just look at you, so they needed to work together to make sure you were theirs, and theirs alone. 

Tony had placed a 24/7 tracker on you when you first joined the Avengers with audio and video. He was able to track and see you all the time. 

Watching as you laughed and talked with Tyler like he was your whole world sent both men bubbling with anger. 

Using his connections and wealth, Tony hired someone to put a drop of poison that he created himself in Tyler's drink which would kill him in a few minutes. 

Steve ended up killing the person who Tony hired to do it. They couldn't have him telling anyone about what they did. 

You messed with their minds with only a look and they couldn't help, but love it. 

Tony has been with plenty of men in the past. None lasted long since he was a playboy, but no one ever made him feel this way and he couldn't let you go. 

Steve was pretty much familiar now with the concepts of same-sex couples. And when he first laid eyes on you, a man, he knew that you needed to be right in his arms. 

And now, you have given yourself to both of them. Oh, you didn't know what you just did because you were with them forever now. 

Escaping is impossible and they would do anything to make sure you belonged to them. They had no intention of ever letting you leave them.

XXXXX XXXXX 

[extasiswings]

15 + buddie

15. "Shouldn't you be with her?" On ao3 here.

When Eddie is eleven, his class gets a new student. Her name is Maria Esparza and her family is from Arizona. She has dark curls that look like they would be soft to touch and a smattering of freckles across her nose and she’s so smart—always reading and forever raising her hand in class, always with the right answers—but she never acts stuck up about it.

He thinks she’s beautiful and when he gets home from the first day of school he promptly announces that he’s in love. He doesn’t understand why his mother laughs or why Sophia rolls her eyes and calls him an idiot when he’s perfectly serious.

He’s in love, he insists, and goes on believing it for three whole weeks until he gets up the courage to give Maria a flower at recess and she looks at him like he has two heads. The rejection smarts for a couple of days, but then he’s fine. So, he figures...maybe it wasn’t love after all.

Eddie is fifteen when he finds his eyes slipping too frequently to Diego Reed in autoshop, lingering on the other boy’s long, dexterous fingers, his forearms, the sharp edge of his jaw. Eddie can’t explain it, he just knows those stolen glances make him squirm, make him flush, make him feel too warm and like his very skin is too tight.

Diego steals Eddie’s first kiss two weeks before winter break, pushes him up against the back wall of the shop where they’re hidden by a truck and licks into his mouth with a confidence that Eddie can’t imagine ever having when he himself can’t even figure out what to do with his hands. But it makes his knees weak and leaves him breathless and panting when Diego pulls away with a smirk and tells him not to say anything.

It’s not love—for one thing, Eddie knows he’s not supposed to love boys, and for another, the only time he suggests it might be anything at all, Diego gives him the same look Maria had once upon a time and walks away—but it’s nothing he’s ever felt before. The next year, Angelica Phelan asks him to go to the winter formal and he gets to second base in the science lab when they slip away from the chaperones. It’s different from kissing Diego. But it’s just as good, he enjoys it just as much, and part of him is…relieved.

He doesn’t think about that too much.

Eddie is eighteen when he’s not watching where he’s going and runs directly into his future on the sidewalk. Thankfully, the only casualty is Shannon’s coffee, and after she snaps at him for not paying attention and he offers to replace her drink—well. They close down the coffee shop, emerging, startled, from conversation only when interrupted by a mildly disgruntled employee trying to lock up. Eddie walks home in a daze, Shannon’s phone number burning a hole in his pocket, and he’s simultaneously elated and terrified because it’s never been so easy being with someone, he’s never felt so seen so quickly. He’s old enough to realize that love at first sight is bullshit, but he thinks he could fall very fast.

He’s right.

They take things slow because Eddie wants to do things right, doesn’t want to risk confusing love with the heady cocktail of teenage hormones and sex. So he knows by the time he does fall into bed with her, eight months in, that he’s in love. Really in love, thinking about the future in love, factoring her into the mix when he thinks about what the hell he’s going to do with his life in love.

And then Shannon gets pregnant. And it’s too soon, he loves her but it’s too soon, and he’s terrified all over again—

He loves her though. He loves her. And she’s pregnant so—they get married. He wants to do the right thing.

At their wedding the readings are selections from Song of Songs and Corinthians.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud....Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...

With all due respect to St. Paul, Eddie doesn’t think he knew what the hell he was talking about. Or at least, maybe he did, but he was being pretty damn aspirational and left out a few things.

Because after the wedding…after the wedding, Eddie learns a lot more about love.

Love is beautiful, yes. But love is also…trying to do the right thing and fucking up. Love is fighting and knowing exactly what to say to cut the deepest and not always holding back. Love is forgiving, but after a point finding it difficult to forget.

Or maybe that’s not love, maybe that’s just marriage. Maybe it’s a little of both. Because love endures—sure. Love endured with Shannon even when trust was nonexistent, when their marriage was fractured, shattered pieces strewn across the floor ready to draw blood if either of them tried to pick them up.

Love isn’t enough. That’s what Eddie knows. Or maybe it is, maybe love would have been enough to fix what was broken if it hadn’t been his. Shannon’s gone, so they’ll never be able to have that conversation. He’ll never know the answer.

Love endures. Eddie kind of wishes it didn’t. It would make a lot of things a lot easier.

But…it’s fine. He’s fine. Shannon dies and he locks that piece of himself away and has no plans to ever fall in love again.

Then again, God has a funny sense of humor and never seems to resist an opportunity to be an asshole, so of course…he does. Slowly. Quietly. The threads slipping through the cracks in his walls so carefully that he doesn’t even notice until they’re twined around his heart, unspooling through his blood, through his veins with every pulse. Eddie doesn’t notice.

And then he gets shot and it’s like being hit by lightning, an electric shock of clarity down his spine, rooting him in place as he meets Buck’s eyes.

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

***

Eddie despises recovery.

He’s never been good at being still, at being useless, at being left alone with nothing but his own head. And maybe he’s not entirely alone—he has Christopher, after all, and Christopher is understandably a little clingy now that he’s home from the hospital—but Christopher sleeps and has play dates and spends time in his room and just in general isn’t in Eddie’s space every second of every day.

And then there’s Buck. Buck who offered to keep staying on the couch to take care of everything they needed when Eddie came home from the hospital. Buck who Eddie sent home to his own bed with promises to call if he needed help because having Buck so close after Eddie’s little realization was stirring him up, making everything a million times more difficult in his head. Buck’s still over frequently, but it’s less dangerous if he’s not staying overnight, if Eddie can’t wake up and be tempted to walk out to the living room and pull Buck into his bed. Not for anything sexual—he’s on too many medications and too immobilized for that even if it was remotely a good idea—but to be held. To feel wanted. To feel safe.

He knows Buck probably wouldn’t say no, wouldn’t think anything of it except that maybe he’s a little raw and fragile, which he is. Which is exactly why he can’t ask. So. Removing the temptation it is.

But. Being left alone with his own head is a terrible idea. He’s in pain because he lowered the doses of his pain meds so he would stop worrying about developing any dependency. He can’t sleep without waking up with screams trapped behind his teeth and the smell of blood and gunpowder in his nose. And he can’t stop thinking about Buck. About being in love with Buck. About wanting Buck. About whether he could ever have him or whether he’ll ever be okay enough to be in a relationship. About whether Buck could ever want him back or if he’ll ever feel safe enough to risk their friendship by even asking.

He broke up with Ana the second he was able to figure out how to do it without feeling like a complete dick. But he hasn’t told Buck that. He doesn’t know why.

And then there’s—

The key turns in the lock and Eddie starts, looking up from his place on the couch. Christopher is with his abuela for the night, and he didn’t expect—

“Hey,” Buck calls, stepping through the door. “I brought dinner.”

Eddie stares.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, before he can stop himself. “Shouldn’t you be with Taylor?”

—Taylor. Buck and Taylor. Which, Buck waited weeks to tell him about, hedging about why he wanted to know if it was okay to invite her to Eddie’s welcome home party. Which, Buck only did admit to when Eddie called one night at 2AM and Taylor answered Buck’s phone.

Eddie clears his throat, the question sounding a little too sharp and accusatory to his ears.

“I just meant,” he adds, softening, “I thought you said you had a date tonight.”

An odd look passes over Buck’s face.

“Isabel called me,” he replies. “She said you were by yourself, asked if I would check on you. We rescheduled, it’s fine.”

Eddie nods once and pulls the couch throw tighter around his shoulders with his good arm. A petty, possessive piece of him is pleased. That Buck’s there. That Buck would drop everything for him.

He’s always been wary of Taylor. Even way back when they first met and she was prowling around the station filming everyone and flirting with Buck. But now? Now he’s jealous, his stomach twisting at the very reminder that she has Buck the way Eddie wants him.

But at the same time…he hates that. Hates the jealousy, hates feeling possessive. Because what claim does he have over Buck’s affections? None. Especially not when he can’t even admit to loving him outside his head.

He hates it because he knows that more than anything, Buck deserves to be happy. And maybe Eddie could make him happy, but—

Even if Buck felt the same—and Eddie isn’t convinced of that, doesn’t have the arrogance to assume—what right does he have to say please, to say wait, to ask Buck to put his life on hold indefinitely while Eddie sorts through the tangled mess in his head in the hope that one day he’ll finally be ready? He can’t be that selfish. Especially not with Buck.

Buck deserves to be happy. Even if that’s with Taylor Kelly. Even if it means Eddie loses him.

He doesn’t get to be jealous.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Eddie replies quietly. “I’m fine.”

Buck sets the bag in his arms down on the coffee table.

“You don’t look fine,” he points out. “Actually, you look like shit. Isabel was right to call me.”

“I’m fine,” Eddie repeats. His heart pangs at the concern in Buck’s eyes. “Really, it’s okay—you should—you should—”

Go. Call Taylor back. Enjoy your date.

He wants to do the right thing. He really does. But the rest of the words refuse to leave his throat.

Buck shakes his head anyway. “I’m not going anywhere,” he insists. “So tell me what’s going on. How can I help?”

Eddie bites his lip. Drags his hand over his jaw before making a face. The messy, overgrown scruff is itchy and difficult to manage on his own, and the foreignness of it doesn’t help him feel grounded in his own body when he wakes up gasping in the middle of the night.

“It’s stupid,” he says.

“I’m sure it’s not,” Buck replies. “And I’m here, so you might as well just talk.”

I’m in love with you, Eddie thinks. And I can’t sleep. And I can’t shave. And everything hurts. And I just want to stop being afraid—

He swallows. He can’t say all of that. He can’t blow everything up that way.

So, he picks the easiest one.

“I can’t shave with my left hand and it’s driving me insane.”

Buck blinks. Then he laughs as the worry in his brow smooths out.

“That’s it?” He asks. “Well, that’s easy. I can do that. Come on.”

And that’s how Eddie winds up sitting on the bathroom counter with shaving cream all over his face while Buck wets a razor and steps between his legs.

His breath catches.

“You good?” Buck asks, his voice low. His eyes are soft and focused, and Eddie almost regrets everything because the proximity—god, the proximity. He’s been so cold since the shooting and Buck is so warm, heat spreading through Eddie’s body from every discrete point of contact. Buck tips his chin back and Eddie lets his eyes slip closed.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “I’m good.”

The razor drags along his skin. Neither of them say a word, the main sound in the room the drip of the faucet when Buck rinses the razor between passes. They’ve always been physical with each other, but this sort of thing is new. Intimate.

Eddie aches.

His eyes open a crack to watch. Buck’s lower lip is caught between his teeth, and having every ounce of that focus on him is…intoxicating.

I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Buck steps in closer, Eddie’s legs spread ever so slightly wider. A spark of heat flashes through him and he inhales sharply—Buck’s startled enough that his hand slips and the razor nicks Eddie’s jaw.

“Shit,” Buck swears. The razor clatters into the sink. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

Eddie opens his eyes the rest of the way. “It’s fine,” he assures. “What, you think I’ve never cut myself shaving before? It’s still better than I would have managed myself.”

“I’m—” Buck looks stricken, his fingers reaching out to gently cradle Eddie’s jaw only for him to snatch them back almost instantly, the tip of one faintly smeared with blood. His hand trembles.

“Buck,” Eddie says quietly. Buck’s eyes are fixed on the red smear and Eddie is sent back—

Watching his blood splash across Buck’s face and not realizing at first that it was his. Being half-delirious on the way to the hospital worrying that Buck had been hurt—

All this time, Buck’s been moving forward, pushing ahead, for Christopher, for him, for everyone, and Eddie knew he wasn’t entirely okay, knew he was fucked up from the moment in the hospital when he said I think it would have been better if I was the one who got shot, but since Eddie’s been home, Buck has seemed…better.

Maybe not. Maybe he’s been struggling to pretend as much as Eddie has.

Eddie twists around to grab the towel draped over the faucet and wets it enough to wash the rest of the shaving cream off his face, feels the sting of soap and water in the cut. And then he reaches out to grab Buck’s hand, wiping the blood off of his finger.

There’s something profane about blood staining skin. And something sacred in the act of washing it clean.

Eddie wonders if anyone helped Buck wash his blood off when he was in surgery. Taylor, maybe.

But no, that doesn’t feel right.

Buck probably did it himself. Alone.

“Hey.” Eddie squeezes Buck’s fingers. When Buck doesn’t look at him, he reaches out and curls his hand around the side of Buck’s neck, tips Buck’s chin up with his thumb to force him to meet his eyes. “Hey. It’s okay. I’m okay. No harm done.”

Buck breathes out shakily. His throat works, his face passes through a million stages—finally, his hands fall to the counter on either side of Eddie’s hips and his forehead drops to Eddie’s good shoulder. Eddie lets his hand slip around to the back of Buck’s neck, his fingers combing up through the short hairs there. He turns his head and he’s close enough to kiss the side of Buck’s, but he holds off. It feels like it would be too much. Too much when Buck doesn’t know how he really feels, what he really wants. But even just this—the closeness, the touch—is good. Needed. A balm to the itch under his skin.

When Buck turns his face into Eddie’s neck and inhales, Eddie thinks maybe Buck might need this just as badly.

“I’m okay,” he repeats, closing his eyes again as his fingers comb through Buck’s hair. “We’re okay. We’re okay.”

They stay like that for a long time. Buck’s phone rings out once, but neither of them moves to answer it. Eventually, Buck lifts his head and clears his throat roughly as he steps back.

Eddie’s hand falls away from Buck’s neck. He feels the absence keenly.

“You good?” He asks. Buck nods. His eyes are red.

“Yeah,” Buck replies. He pauses. Shakes his head. “No. But—can we just—can I just finish this for now? I want to finish this.”

Eddie watches him for a moment. Wets his lips. Then finally nods and passes over the shaving cream again.

“Sure,” he says. “I trust you.”

I love you.

Maybe…maybe eventually he’ll be braver. Maybe eventually, both of them will be free at the same time and he’ll be whole and healed, or at least something closer to it than he is now. Maybe eventually…love will be enough. Maybe.

For now, he has this.

[sinner-as-saint]

‘Till We Bleed Out - 5.

Vampire!bucky x reader AU

Part 5 of this series. 

Run-through: Your car breaks down on a deserted road on a rainy night. You have no other option but to seek shelter from the nearest house you could find; the mansion, which happened to be the talk of the town for its mysteriousness along with its equally mysterious owner, Mr. Barnes. The universe can be tricky sometimes but the fact that you found yourself at that mansion’s doorstep at that time was no simple coincidence. That one night changes everything forever - quite literally. True love, past lives and creatures from folklore; turns out it’s all real. 

Themes throughout the series: vampire!bucky, fluff, smut, angst 

a/n: So this is it, the last part of this series! Thank you for your loving words and support my babies, I love all of you!!!

You woke up with a smile on your face. 

You felt Bucky’s cold face pressed against yours, his lips kissing along your jaw. “Morning, sweetheart.” He mumbled. 

You opened your eyes and found yourself staring into bright blue ones. “Hi.” You whispered. You noticed he was dressed and ready for the day already. 

“I’ve got a surprise for you.” He said with a smirk. You gently caressed his face, not wanting to leave the warm bed just yet. 

“What surprise?” You asked, knowing he wouldn’t tell you obviously but trying your luck anyways. 

“Get dressed. It’s waiting for you downstairs in the kitchen.” He winked at you, making you think harder on what the surprise could be. He kissed the top of your head and walked out of the bedroom with a devious smirk on his face. 

You got ready as fast as you could and stepped out of the room. You saw Wanda at the end of the stairs and when she smiled at you, you couldn’t help but rush to her and give her a hug. “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you.” 

She ran her hand soothingly down your back. “I knew you wouldn’t. But you’re back now, and that’s all that matters.” She gave you a warm smile. “Now go, they’re waiting.” 

You smiled and walked towards the kitchen, thinking back on what she said. They’re waiting… who was ‘they’? 

As you approached the kitchen you could hear multiple voices, you slowed down just to hear a little more of the conversation they were having. You picked up multiple voices; some speaking over others, some silly banters, some trying to calm them down, Bucky and other voices speaking in hushed tones.  

“I can hear her.” 

“I can hear her heartbeats.” 

“She always smells so good, doesn’t she?” 

“Have you spoken about turning her yet?”

To that question Bucky responded, “Yeah, we’ve talked about it. But I want to give it some time.” 

“Does she remember us?” 

“Did you hear a word he said? Yes, she remembers all of us.” 

“Uh guys, can we eat please?” 

“Pete we’ve waited over a century, can’t you wait a little longer?” 

“No the kid’s right, I’m getting hungry.” 

“What are you talking about, you ate on our way here?” 

“So?” 

“Guys, shut up.” 

“Tell me, was she irritated by my little trick?” 

Bucky responded again, chuckling “No, she understood it was important.” 

“Did she-,”

Whoever was about to say something, stopped at once when you stepped into the room. You could hear your heartbeats ringing in your ear. Before you, gathered in the spacious kitchen, were all your friends. You felt your heart getting heavy as you tried to process everything. 

“Hi.” You couldn’t say anything else, your voice was getting shaky. Your lips started quivering as you began tearing up. Your friends, the family who had your back no matter what, they were here. You were all here, under the same roof. 

One moment they were all staring at you in shock and the next you were being almost tackled to the ground as the result of a gigantic group hug. You held onto a broad shoulder to prevent yourself from falling, lifting your head up you saw that it was Thor. 

“Hello, Y/N.” his deep voice greeted you, teasing you of course. 

A rather extensive round of hi, hellos and ‘we missed you’ later, you heard Bucky’s voice speak up. “Try not to crush my wife.” 

You heard a collective round of sighs. “She’s not your wife yet.” Tony pointed out and at the sound of his voice, you rushed to him for another, proper hug. After your family cut ties with you, Tony was the closest thing you had to a father figure you had. “Hey kiddo, I’ve missed you.” 

You felt his cold arms around you. “I’m so glad you’re here.” You pulled away and his brown eyes reminded you of all the times he was there for you even when your own father wasn’t. 

“I believe I need a hug as well.” A smooth, very familiar voice spoke up from behind you. You turned around and smiled bigger than you had all morning. 

“Steve!” You jumped in his arms. 

Hug after hug, multiple ‘we missed you’ and ‘don’t you dare leave us again’ later, everyone gathered around the table. It was one of the best mornings you’ve ever had, now finally reunited with those who meant so much to you. 

While most of your friends were busy having a silly banter over something like they always do, you looked up and smiled at Bucky who sat on the other side of the large kitchen island. He smiled at you, staring deep into your eyes. He knew what you meant. 

You tried to eat but there was this lump in your throat, as happy as you were; you were also an emotional mess. In a good way. You were used to your life being this perfect, but here you were. 

For the rest of the morning, you all caught up with one another. Your friends told you about all the new members who had joined your inner circle, promising you that you’ll meet them soon enough. 

“We’ll be around. We’ll always be just one call away.” Tony spoke on behalf of everyone as they all stood at the front door, putting their coats back on; getting ready to leave. “We’ll visit again. Soon, okay?” he opened his arms and you rushed over to him and hugged him tight. 

When they all left, the house was quiet again. You closed the large wooden front door and stared at it, with a soft smile on your face. You felt warm inside. You felt surrounded, safe and complete. 

You turned around and Bucky was standing at the foyer, hands stretched out for you to take. You approached him and leaned in for a hug. He hugged you immediately, tightly. “You okay, baby?” 

“Yeah,” you replied, your eyes watering just a little. “I’ve missed them. So much. I missed everything, I-,” you choked on your words as the tears fell down your cheeks. “How did you do it? I wouldn’t have survived so long without you.” you held him tighter, your hot tears wetting his cold skin. 

“Hope. And your memories kept me alive I guess. Still, I died everyday. But I knew you’d come back again, someday like you promised.” He gently stroked your hair. “And you did, that’s all that matters.” 

You stayed like that for a while, just letting him hold you. After some time you spoke up again, “Thank you, Buck.” 

“What for, sweetheart?” 

“For bringing me home.” 

---

2 YEARS LATER. 

---

You put your book down on your lap as you leaned against the headboard of the bed. You looked over to find Bucky fully focused on his newspaper; sat on the couch by the bed. 

“You’re staring.” He said without looking up. 

You chuckled and walked over to where he was sitting. You snatched the paper out of his hands and settled down on his lap instead. He smiled, spreading his legs apart slightly just so you’d be more comfortable. 

“Turn me.” you whispered and watched how he went from playful to serious in less than a second. He was hesitant, you could tell. In the past years, you brought up this topic quite a lot of times and each time his answer would be the same - ‘no, not now.’ 

He opened his mouth to talk, but then shut it because he couldn’t figure out the right thing to say. 

“I spoke to Nat a few days ago, she’s willing to do it if it makes you uncomfortable. Buck, I understand, it’s okay I-,”

He cut you off. “No, I’ll do it. Just…” he sighed. “I’ve held your lifeless body once. It killed me.” He closed his eyes and pushed his face into the crook of your neck. “I’m not sure I’m strong enough to watch you die again.” 

You cradled his face, giving him a kiss on top of his head. “It’s not the same Buck.” He groaned upon hearing that. “Hey, look at me,” you said softly, pulling away to look down into his ocean blue eyes. “I’m not going anywhere this time. I’ll be here, forever.” 

It took a moment, but he finally said, “Okay.” 

“So it’s a yes?” 

“Yes.” 

You smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss. But he wasn’t planning on letting you go, Bucky pulled you closer and kissed you senselessly, deeply, passionately for God knows how long, but you could feel your underwear getting completely soaked.

“Buck…” you pulled away for a moment, wondering if he was trying to avoid doing what you asked him to. 

He gave you a soft look, “I need to hear your heart race when you cum for me. One last time. Please?” He mumbled against your skin as he kissed along your jaw. 

You giggled and gave in, inching closer to him again while your lips found his. He kissed you softly, his kiss slowly getting more and more needy. You found yourself being pushed down onto the couch with him hovering above you. Your clothes were off your body and carelessly thrown onto the bedroom floor in less than a few seconds. 

“I love you,” he mumbled, “so much.” His hands ran down your thighs and reached your knees. His eyes remained focused on your face as he parted your legs, settling in between them. His hand ran down your legs and your skin felt tingly at his touch. His hand reached out and he ran his knuckles along your wet folds, making you shudder at his touch. 

His eyes grew darker as he watched your squirm under him as he lazily played with your clit. He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours again, slipping his tongue back into your mouth, eagerly. You felt his tongue stroke the top of your mouth, and his hands touched you wherever he could; your breasts, your waist – leaving trails of goosebumps wherever his fingers touched your skin.

Pulling away from the kiss, he stood up again and took his shirt off, and his pants; leaving him just as naked as you were. He climbed onto the couch again and lowered his body until he hovered just inches above you. His strong arms supported him above you and your hands gripped onto his broad shoulders.

He looked into your eyes for a brief moment then his head dipped into the crook of your neck, biting your skin playfully and making you squirm and giggle under him as you felt his sharp fangs grazing your skin lightly. 

You felt his body pressed down against yours, and everything was right in the world. “You drive me crazy…” The tip of his nose ran along your throat and right to your ear, where he whispered all his obscene thoughts, making you all hot and bothered.

“Fuck me, please...” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair and he lifted his head and stared into your eyes again. He saw the desire and lust, but also the love. The love which had transcended through time and found its way back to him again. 

With a slow, steady push, he inserted his length into you. You shuddered as you felt all of him, his stubble tickled your skin as he kissed your lips repeatedly. You heard his ragged breaths right by your ear as he removed himself out and pushed himself back into you again.

You moaned out loud, unable to hold back the sound which escaped your lips. “Let me hear you, baby” he whispered into your ear and kissed the skin beneath your jaw. 

You let out a loud moan as he found your sweet spot, and you felt him smirk against your skin. You moaned again and again as he bit and licked the skin beneath your jaw, all while slamming into you relentlessly; stretching you and pounding into you like his life depended on it.

Your nails sank into his skin as you felt a pressure forming around your lower region. Bucky quickened his pace and pounded into you harder than before; the sounds of your skin slapping one another resonated around the bedroom. 

The tip of his cock touched your most sensitive spots and your back arched off the couch – your chest pressing against his. “Fuck…” his voice cracked as he whimpered in your ear. His moans always messed you up in a good way.

You feel your walls clench around him, and tighten around his thick member; making him swear out loud.

“Cum for me, sweetheart. Come on,” he panted in your ear, kissing the side of your face and gripping your jaw with his hand. 

He didn’t slow down as you felt your orgasm wash over you, he kept pounding into you as your eyes rolled back and you moaned out his name as you came – hard. You whimpered at how he kept slamming into you even after you came, and your face burned as you felt the knot forming again right at your core.

Bucky fucked you relentlessly; not even stopping even for a second. He panted and groaned at how good you felt and wished for this moment to last forever. Unable to form coherent sentences, you moaned as you felt your second release approaching. Your legs were numb, and your body moved along with his. 

You felt your mind clouding with lust again. He gently bit down on your shoulder as you lifted your hips to meet his thrust; chasing your release. Your body trembled under him as you came again; gushing out around his cock while he still pounded into you. 

He pushed his face into your neck as he came right after, moaning and panting as you gently ran your fingers through his hair. He kissed along your throat, making you giggle uncontrollably. 

“Hey, you promised me something.” You reminded him. 

He sighed and got up from the couch, grabbing his clothes and putting them on again. “Wait here, I need to go get something. I’ll be back in a bit.” He kissed your forehead and walked out of the room. 

You showered in the meantime, wondering what could he possibly need. When you walked out, you found him pacing around. 

“Hi,” you walked over and wrapped your arms around his torso. He relaxed once he felt your touch. “Where did you go?” 

Instead of answering he handed you a little vial of some sort, with a dark liquid inside. “Drink up.” 

“What’s this?” you questioned, taking it from him.

“It'll make you a little drowsy. You won't feel the pain,” he gently caressed your face. “And when you wake up, everything will be fine.” 

You nodded. Taking a deep breath as you emptied the vial into your mouth. You cringed as you swallowed. “It's bitter.” You pointed out. 

Bucky smiled softly, pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, letting his lips linger on your skin. “I know baby.” He mumbled. 

You stayed there, in his arms and noticed that your vision started getting blurry. You held on to him tighter. Your heart began slowing down as well, he could hear it. You felt his lips along your jaw, kissing you gently as though coaxing you into something. He kissed down your throat, and you felt his fangs against your neck. 

“I love you so much, sweetheart.” He mumbled, nipping at your skin gently; still a little hesitant. 

You got a little nervous. He noticed as your grip tightened around him. “Buck, I…” 

“Shh, don't fight it.” he mumbled against your skin. He kissed his way back up to your lips again. “Let go baby, I'm right here.” he whispered against your lips. 

And that was that last thing you remember before everything went black. 

-

You woke up feeling different. A good kind of different. You felt energized, well-rested. You blinked a few times and took a few seconds to reorient yourself. You were in your bedroom, the one you and Bucky had shared over the past years. 

You sat up and noticed that you were hyper aware of your surroundings. The light was too bright. The birds chirping outside were loud, you could hear the winds bristle against the branches. You immediately felt your pulse. You had none.

Oh. 

You heard footsteps. Moments later Bucky opened the door. He walked into the room with a lovely smile on his face. "Hello sweetheart. Welcome back."

Just the sight of him filled you with unexplainable joy. You jumped out of bed and rushed to hug him. “Bucky!” in doing so, you knocked the two of you down on the floor. 

He laughed and held on to you, "I forgot how strong newbies were." He kissed the top of your head, “Hi, baby.” 

You straddled his waist, pulling away from the hug to kiss him. “I've missed you.” you whispered. You figured you must’ve been gone for a day or two. 

“I've missed you too.” He replied, kissing you back. 

You got back up and pulled him up as well. “We have to tell Nat! And everyone, they-,” 

He cut you off, chuckling as he ran his fingers through your hair. “Don't rush sweetheart, we have all the time in the world now.” 

You slowed down, realizing he was right. “Yes we do.” You leaned in for a hug, just wanting to be close to him. He wrapped his arms around you, swaying the two of you gently. 

“Can you promise me one thing?” he asked. 

“What?” 

“That you won’t leave me alone for so long again.”

You sighed, trying to imagine how hard it must’ve been for him to be alone for so long. “I promise.” You pulled away to look into his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere now. I’m here.” 

He smiled softly. “Do you remember what we used to promise each other when we first got together?” 

You giggled, remembering. “That we'll stay together forever, until we bleed out?”

He chuckled, remembering how young you both were when you made that up. The promise/ inside joke was that neither of you could physically die from bleeding out therefore by saying so, you were promising each other forever. 

“Yeah.” He smiled and leaned in for a gentle kiss. He pulled away moments later, pressed his forehead against yours and whispered, “Together, ‘till we bleed out.”

Fin.  

a/n: to everyone who showed their love and support for this series, ily!! 

[multiplefandomfics]

Everything happens for a reason

Pairing: Bucky x reader (Former Steve x reader)

Warnings: cheating, angst, pregnancy, semi-public sex, Steve’s an ass in this one,

Words: 5213

A/N: Well this escalated quickly! When you have too much time at work stuff like this happens :D!

I have no idea how they do a c-section or any medical terms of that field other than the stuff I’ve seen on Grey’s Anatomy so forgive me when the birth is wrongly described.

“Babe? You home?” you called out to your fiance excited to tell him the news. No response, so you ventured further into the dark hallway.

You could see light coming from under the bedroom door. Thinking nothing of it because it was already relatively late, you walked to the room and opened the door.

You had not expected the sight before you though. You’re husband to be in the throes of passion with not one but two women.

Shocked, you slammed the door shut again which caused the threesome to startle.

“Honey? Why are you home already? I thought you were gonna go for a drink with your friends.” he called out to you while ripping the door open again…..

“That’s your excuse to cheat on me? That I was not going to see it? WHAT THE FUCK STEVE! We wanted to get married!” you screamed at him and then threw the engagement ring towards his head.

You stormed past him into the bedroom, grabbed some clothes and necessities from your closet and stuffed them into a suitcase. He tried to reason with you, that he wanted to feel free one last time and could pass up the opportunity of a threesome. Like that was actually an excuse.

Everything he said was ignored and so 5 minutes later you sat in your car and that was when the dam broke. You wanted to cry and yell at the same time. How could you have been so stupid as to think someone as honorable and good looking as Steve Rogers was not gonna follow the temptation of so many willing women at some point? You wiped your tears away and contemplated where you could be going for the night.

After thinking for a while you had figured out that most of your friends were also Steve’s you didn’t know if they were going to take his side or yours.

Natasha was not the right idea, she would probably break into his house and kill him in his sleep if she found out he cheated on you like that. And maybe you were in the right mindset to let her do it right now. Wanda and Vision were out of town and Tony would only tell you “I told you so”. That left only one other person in the world you liked enough to see right now. Bucky Barnes. So without further notice you drove to his apartment complex and rang his doorbell at 1am with a packed suitcase in your hand.

“Yes.” you heard a groggy voice through the speakers at the entrance.

“Ehm, hi Bucky. It’s Y/N. Something happened, can I come up?” you were already close to tears again. He must have noticed so he was immediately wide awake and buzzed the door open.

You took the elevator up to the 4th floor and he was already standing in the doorway to his flat only in boxer shorts and a t-shirt.

“Hey, doll. What happened? You look worse for wear.” he looked concerned and let you inside.

“I feel awful for disturbing you in the middle of the night. But I didn’t know where else to go.” you fell into his embrace after he had opened his arms.

“It’s okay darling. Now tell me what happened please.” he inquired.

“Of course. Where do I start?” you frantically searched for words.

“Best if you start at the beginning.” he smiled encouragingly.

“Yes, sure. So tonight I wanted to go for a drink with a few girls from work but didn’t feel alright after work so I rainchecked last minute and went home. But when I stepped into our bedroom, oh Bucky it was terrible, Steve wasn’t alone. There were two naked girls in bed with him.” you had fat tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Impossible. Steve is not a cheater. You sure you saw that right?” The doubt in his voice made you angry.

“I know what I saw Buck!” you got defensive.

“Okay, I believe you. It’s just that I never saw Steve disrespecting someone like that. I’m so sorry for you doll.” he looked genuinely affected by the whole situation and he could understand how Steve could hurt you like this.

“But that’s not the worst part yet… The reason I didn’t feel great and didn’t go out with my friends is… I’m pregnant Bucky and Steve doesn’t know.” you looked downwards.

“Fuck! That is getting more and more complicated. But congratulations doll. You will be a great mom.” he hugged you close. “How about I’ll make you a cup of tea and then you try to sleep a bit.” he suggested.

“Alright. Thank you Bucky. You are my best friend.” he smiled sadly at that statement. He wished you were more than just friends. Maybe now he would have a chance somehow.

Before he could get up though his phone rang.

“It’s him Y/N. You want me to ignore him?”

“No, then he knows I’m here for sure. Tell him you haven’t seen me.”

“Okay, will do.”

“Steve? Do you know how late it is?” Bucky asked with his best impression of a just out of bed voice.

“I’m sorry pal but I need to find Y/N. I did something stupid and she left. Do you know where she is?” you could hear Steve through Bucky’s much too loud phone.

“I’m sorry Steve. I haven’t heard from her. You just woke me up.” he lied.

“Damn! I need to make this up to her. I’m so sorry. If she comes to you, could you tell her I need to speak with her, please? I love her too much to lose her.” you swallowed more tears threatening to escape.

“Sure, buddy. You wanna tell me what happened?” Bucky feigned cluelessness.

“Maybe later Buck. I have to call the rest of our friends.”

“Alright, but don’t do anything stupid.” Bucky said and Steve hung up.

“You heard him, didn’t you?” he asked you.

“Hmm.” you confirmed.

After you had drank your tea he left you the bed and slept on the couch. When you snuggled into the covers they smelled so delicously like Bucky. A mix of soap, coffee and something uniquely Bucky. For one split moment you had thought about asking him to sleep next to you but that would have probably sent mixed signals and you didn’t know what you wanted at the moment.

You woke up feeling cold. Shivering slightly you opened your eyes and noticed that the blanket had fallen off your body onto the floor. Sitting up you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and the realization of what had happened struck you a moment later.

“Chin up! You are a queen! Don’t let that idiot make you cry again. He’s not worth it!” you told yourself and got up to get some food.

“Good morning, Bucky.” you greeted him while he was standing at the stove making scrambled eggs and bacon.

“Good morning to you too. How did you sleep? And do you want some breakfast?” he asked cheerily.

“I slept like a baby and hell yes I’m so hungry.” confirming his suspicions.

Bucky and you ate together in comfortable silence. Until he spoke up: “So Y/N you know you can stay here however long you like and I don’t mind kicking Stevies ass for what he’s done to you but you should at least tell him that you are with me. I can’t lie to him forever.” he really had a point.

“I know. Thanks again for taking in a stray in the middle of the night. And I know I will have to talk to him eventually. He hurt me so bad but I’m more afraid I will give in again when I see his puppy dog eyes although I can’t trust him anymore.” you looked so lost. Bucky wanted to wrap you up in a blanket and never let you go again.

That week you called in sick. You couldn’t stand the people at work.

And when you came back on monday, guess who was standing outside our office building with a exagerrated flower buquet.

“I’m sorry babe. I shouldn’t have done that to you. You are the best thing that has happened to me. Please don’t leave me.” he begged. You had to admit seeing Captain America beg was a sight for sore eyes.

“Hello Steve. You are correct you shouldn’t have cheated on me and I am deeply disappointed in you. Thank you for apologizing but I won’t come back to you. You have broken my trust and I can’t just give it back to you. I will be over in the next few weeks to get the rest of my stuff out of your apartment and leave my keys. Now I have to go work. Bye Steve. Oh, by the way, you will have to call all our friends and family that the wedding is off. I’m not doing that.” and with those words you turned away from him and clapped yourself menatlly on the shoulder at how confident and sovereign you had handelt that situation.

If you had thought the deal was over there you had definitely celebrated to early.

Of course Steve found out you had been staying with Bucky all along and was mad as hell.

He suddeny stood inside the apartment, however he got in there, and started throwing insults at Bucky and especially you.

“Here you are you little slut! Have already replaced me, hm. How long has this been going on? You preach something of trust and here you are fucking my best friend behind my back! I should have known.” he raged.

“Calm down you idiot. There is nothing going on between Buck and me. He has just been a friend when I was hurt needed one.” you yelled back enraged at the accusations.

“Who do you wanna tell that, Y/N. Do you think I haven’t seen the way you two look at each other?” he was still so angry. You had nevern seen him this full of rage.

“So what it is none of your business anymore anyways.” you knew you couldn’t bring him to believe you anyway. He needed to find a different cause of why you wouldn’t come back to him than the simple reason that he had cheated. He wanted to blame you, not himself.

“Could you please leave now? I don’t feel so good.” you suddenly felt your lunch coming back up to greet you and ran to the bathroom.

The men heard you puking. One knowing the reason the other not.

“What’s going on with her? She sick?” Steve asked Bucky.

That was your clue to burst through the bathroom door.

“I’m pregnat you ass! You cheated on your pregnant fiance!” you yelled and stormed into Bucky’S bedroom, jamming the door shut behind you.

Steve looked aghast at Bucky “did you know?”

“She told me the night she came to me. She had wanted to tell you then. That’s why she didn’t go out with her collegues.”

“Fuck! I destroyed everything, haven’t I?” he asked Bucky in defeat.

“Give her time. She probably won’t want to marry you, maybe not even be your girlfriend again but maybe she will at least let you see your kid.” Bucky stated matter of factly.

“But I wan’t more Bucky. I want her.” he whined.

“Well, you had everything, pal. But you destroyed it. I better go talk to her. You should really leave her alone for a while.” he clapped Steve on the shoulder, maybe a bit harder than necessary and went after you.

“Y/N? He’s gone.” Bucky carefully stuck his head into the room. You were lying on the bed, on your back staring at the ceiling.

“Good.” you muttered. “I couldn’t stand him anymore. I’m afraid Bucky.” you confessed. “I can’t raise a baby on my own and I don’t know if I want Steve involved.”

“I can understand your worry but I don’t see any reason. You are so caring and selfless you will be a great mom. And if you let me I can help you. Kids seem to like me apparently.” he encouraged you and smiled.

“Thank you, Buck. I definitely will need your help. I am going to be a single mom and that’s completely okay.” you smiled at him.

“That’s what I wanna hear. Now, you hungry after everything just came out?”

“Yes. I’d like Pizza please.”

“Alright, princess I will order some.” he stroked your cheek and got up to get the delivery running.

“So he actually cheated on you? I would have never expected that from Steve. He always seems like a gentleman. Unbelievable.” Wanda exclaimed.

“Yeah. Absolutely insane. But congrats on the pregnancy though. You will be a rockin’ mama.” Nat hugged you. “And we will help you with whatever you need.”

“Thanks, girls. You are amazing. You know I want you to be godmothers, right?” you asked.

“Hell yes. We’re in.” Nat squealed and you never heard her squeal.

Weeks ticked by and you really searched for an affordable apartment somewhere close to your workplace. That was harder than you anticipated though.

After 3 months of moving in with Bucky you had still no place of your own and you constantly thought you were overstaying your welcome.

“How are you two doing today?” Bucky asked you as he came home.

“We are fine. Had a lot to eat and listened to some music. By the way my OB was able to find out what we are having. You wanna know?” over the past months Bucky had become more a father to the baby than Steve had been. Steve rarely called or wanted to now anything about you or his baby. Bucky seemed more than content to take up the role of its father.

“Hell yes I wanna know. Tell me!” he ordered exited.

“Alright, drumroll…. It’s a…. girl.” you announced.

“Oh, wow. Great. A mini you not a mini Steve.” he laughed and you had to laugh too.

“Buck?” you asked suddenly.

“Hm?”

“I want you to be in this girls life. As more than just her mommys friend. More as a rolemodel. A…” you stopped to think about your next words carfully. “More like a dad.” and out it was. Now you only had to wait for his reaction.

“You want me to be her father? Hmm. On the one hand I would love to. I feel so close to her already but on the other hand I don’t want to affront Steve. Even after everything he is my friend. Can we talk about what there is between us first? Maybe if we have that settled all will slip in place.” he suggested.

“Maybe you are right. What is there between us in your opinion?”

“Look Y/N, I have always felt a connection between us. Although I would have never acted on it because you were Steve’s girl, it hurt everytime I saw you with him. And when you got engaged I seriously considered moving abroad so I wouldn’t have to see you building a life with him. If I could imagine myself as the man by your and your daughters side? Of course. There is nowhere I’d rather be. And we are practically living together already anyway.” his confession only superficially shocked you. You knew there had always been feelings from your side too. That’s why it had been so easy to confide in him. He took your silence as hesitation and became insecure “I mean if you don’t feel that way I will accept that. I swear I can be just a frien….” he wasn’t able to say more because you had already stopped his rambling with a bruising kiss.

“So you do feel it!” he observed.

“Of course I do you dummy. You have always been there for me. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it was actually you who I should be with.” you apologized.

“The most important thing is that we have that figured out now.” he kissed you again and you melted into it.

“Yes, we do.” you smiled.

Another few months flew by and you had started to stay at home because you were constantly feeling dizzy or nauteous when you moved.

“Bucky come here. Now!” you yelled for your boyfriend one snowy december morning. Alarmed he stormed into the livingroon where you were parked in front of a movie with a cup of hot chocolate and a really big blanket over one of Bucky’s hoodies.

“What’s wrong? You okay?” panicked he jumped onto the couch next to you. “No nothing is wrong. Here- Give me your hand.” he gave you his right hand and you pressed it to the place on your belly were you had just felt her kick. When she did it again he almost jumped out of his skin. “Woah, what was that? Was that a kick?” he asked astonished.

“Of course Buck. What else was it supposed to be?” you laughed.

“She is strong. Damn so cool.”

“And she keeps kicking even more when she hears your voice. Maybe she likes it if you sang to her.” you smiled expectantly.

“Oh, no. No one wants to hear me sing. I have a terrible voice.” he refused.

“Steve told me differently. He said you were in church choir together as boys.” your smirked at him.

“He told you that.” he sighed.

“Oh, yes he did. So come on. Sing something for our daughter.”

“Our daughter?” he asked, you realized what you had said and blushed.

“I like the sound of that.” he grinned from ear to ear and that was the moment you were 100% sure that he was it for you.

“I love you so much.” he whispered and kissed first your protruding belly and then your mouth.

You were speechless. “I love you too Bucky.” you replied.

Your daughter grew everyday. Everytime you went to an ultrasound at your OB Bucky was by your side and although the doctor knew he wasn’t the babys biological dad she said that he was doing so much better than most fathers to be. He took so much pride in your baby girl that you almost burst with love for him.

After 9 months of carrying her it was finally time to let go. When the contractions started Bucky rushed you to a hospital and although he didn’t want to he called Steve. And Nat and Wanda of course.

The doctor and midwife did their exam of you and the baby quickly before figuring out that something was wrong.

“She is lying sideways. We can’t deliver her naturally. We need to get her by c-section or you will both die.” the OB made clear. You knew things like that could happen. You had mentally prepared for anything but now that it actually came to that you were more than afraid.

“Wo should stay with you? Only one person can.” the doctor informed you.

Steve, who had just entered the room and had heard everything of course assumed immediately that he was gonna be invited into the OR with you.

“I want Bucky to stay with me.” you whined. Steve got pretty angry and almost ripped the door off its hinges when he left. “Bucky I’m afraid.” you whispered to him. Uncaring of Steves abrupt departure.

“I will stay with you, doll. Through everything. You two will get through this.” he encouraged you.

“Thanks Buck. Let’s get this baby into the world.” you said.

“Good attitude.” the doctor approved.

They rushed you into the OR. Bucky never leaving you and holding your hand the whole time. During the procedure itself you were awake but you got a spinal anesthesia to numb everthing from your belly downwards.

“I will keep a pretty ugly scar Buck. Don’t you mind that?” you asked him a little drunk on meds.

“No sweetheart. I love you so much I don’t care about scars. You don’t care about mine either, do you? Scars are just proof of what you have gone through and survived. That’s what you always used to say. Isn’t it?” he quoted you.

“Yes maybe.”

“Plus it will always remind of our beautiful daughter. That’ll be worth it, don’t you think?” he asked.

“Yes, sure. I love you Buck.”

“I love you too and you are doing so great. Isn’t she doc?” he asked the OB.

“Oh, she’s doing great. Everything is perfect.” she answered but by the nervous facial expression she had on her face and the rushing nurses surrounding her Bucky knew that something was wrong.

Suddenly a baby cried. Relief flooded through Bucky. “Look there she is.” he pointed to your right and you rolled your head over and smiled. Then you passed out.

“Y/N? Y/N!!!” Bucky yelled. “What happened?” he asked the doc full of panic.

“She lost a lot of blood but we are giving her donations now. Go see your daughter and we will do everything we can to save her.” she explained to him. But Bucky would not be Bucky if he left your side.

They sewed you up and 3 hours later you awoke in a brightly lit room. Beeping machines by your head. You looked around, complketely confused until you saw the cutes thing you had ever laid eyes on. Your angel of a boyfriend was sitting next to your bed in an armchair, holding your baby daughter to his chest and singing softly to her.

You started weeping immediately. Still high on drugs and hormones.

“Baby what’s wrong? Are you in pain?” he asked worried.

“No, I am just so happy. You two really are a sight for sore eyes. I can’t contain the love in my heart.” you kept crying happy tears.

“Would you give me our baby?” you asked politely.

“Oh, of course honey.” he got up and placed the blanket wrapped burrito into your arms. When you saw her crystal blue eyes and slightly dirty blonde hair you had to hold back new tears.

“What should we call her?” Bucky asked you.

“I always loved Autumn as a girls name or maybe Freya. What do you like better?”

“I love them both. Double name? Or keep one for the next baby?” he suggested.

“You are already thinking about a second child?” you laughed. “Give me a bit of time to recover and then I would love to have another one with you.”

“Sure so Autumn or Freya?” he asked again.

“Let’s go with Freya. It’s such a unique name. And strong as hell. I think it suits her.” you chose.

“Great. I love it. And I love both of you.”

“Has anyone been in here yet?” you asked him.

“Not yet. I wanted you to see your daughter first before the others came barging in. Steve nearly broke down the door when I refused him to come inside. I handled him and security told him if he didn’t calm down he needed to leave and he wouldn’t be allowed back inside.” he broke down the events of the past few hours for you.

“That sounds so not like the Steve I know but seems like that is who he became. I think if you hand me a glass of water for my parched throat first you can let the others inside.” you instructed him.

After downing the entire bottle of liquid the whole party came trampling into the room. Steve pushed the rest rudely out of the way. But instead of asking how you were doing after losing so much blood he just grabbed your daughter out of your hands to look at her. It didn’t take 3 seconds before the infant was crying like crazy. Steve startled and immediately handed her back to you. “Why is she always crying? She’s definitely yours.” he commented. Bucky gotreally angry at that comment while you tried to calm your baby.

“I think you should go, pal. You are irritating her with your attitude.” Bucky suggested nicely.

“Who do you think you are? You are not her father. I am.” he turned beet red.

You finally had enough. Handing Freya over to Nat who took a step back, you sat up a little and faced Steve. “In the past 9 months Bucky has been more a father to her than you could ever be. He was there when I hung puking over the toilet bowl. He brought me the strangest snacks without asking twice about it. He always had the nicest words to say to me no matter how depressed I felt. And where the fucking hell were you that whole time?” you asked him angrily.

That made him stop still. “You left me!” he tried to defend himself weakly.

“GET OUT!” you yelled at him.

He obeyed because he knew he couldn’t say anything to make the situation better.

“Wow, that was intense.” Wanda commented.

“He needed to hear that.” you said.

“Yes, he did. And now to you and your daughter. She is adorable. What’s her name?” Nat changed the topic.

“Thank you Nat. Her name is Freya. I have always loved that name.” you answered.

“That’s a beautiful, strong name. Fitting!” Wanda commented.

“So when will you be able to get out of here?” Nat asked, still holding your baby.

“I don’t know. Haven’t spoken to a doctor yet.”

As if on cue the door opened and your OB entered.

She told you that everything was healing and that you needed to stay for another day and then you and your baby could go home.

Three weeks later you had already accustomed Freya to her crib. You went on walks everyday. Bucky always by your side. Protecting you both like a wolf protects his pack.

Six months ticked by like nothing. Suddenly Freya was already playing with her mobile which was hanging over her bed. She was very attentive. Crawling all over the apartment fast enough that you almost couldn’t catch up.

It was fulfilling to be a mom but also tiring. You needed a day off so as the nice godmothers that your friends were they took her from you for 24 hours. At first you slept in. You would have happily stayed in bed all day but Bucky had other plans.

So you took a shower and put on a nice dress but you forwent the high heels cause you still had swollen feet sometimes and couldn’t walk in them anyways.

“Where are we going Buck?” you smiled.

“You will see, doll.” was his cryptic answer.

He drove out of town until you reached the hills. Parking the car somewhere in the middle of nowhere you got out of the car and he pulled a picnic basket out of the trunk.

“A picnic? That’s so sweet.” you swooned.

“I thought that would be nice.” He seemed somehow really nervous.

When you had found a clearing he put everything down and you two sat and ate. Sandwiches, fruit, cheese, crackers, chocolate covered strawberries. Everything was so delicious. “Thank you for this Bucky. It’s the best date I have ever had.” you complimented.

“It is wonderful. And I would like to ask you something.” he turned so he was kneeling in front of you and pulled a box out of his jacket pocket. You clapped your hand in front of your mouth and tears sprang to your eyes.

“Y/N I have loved you for so long. We have a great life together, a wonderful daughter. I would like this to hold forever. Will you marry me?” he asked.

You threw yourself into his arms and he crumbled underneath you “YES! Of course I will marry you Bucky. I love you so much!” you confirmed.

He put the ring onto your finger and you kissed deeply. The kiss turned heated quickly. You, still lying on top of him, wriggled your hips. He turned you on so much you wanted him right that moment.

“Woa, hold on doll. You sure you want to do this here?” he mumbled against your lips.

“Don’t wanna wait any more. Waited too long.” you mumbled back.

His hands immediately went to the zipper on your back and pulled it down. You sat up so you could wriggle your arms free and pulled the dress over your head, leaving you in your panties and bra. “So beautiful.” he groaned and buried his face in your boobs, nipping and sucking hickies only he would be able to see later.

All the while you frantically ripped at his clothes, pushing the jacket off his shoulders and unbuttoning his shirt. Then you roamed your hands over his muscular chest intensely. Grinding down on his growing erection got you so wet. You hadn’t gotten any action in over a year and you knew he hadn’t either so this was likely going to be over way too soon. You had to savor any moment that it would last.

With his help you got him out of his jeans and you saw that he was not wearing any underwear. “Naughty boy. No underwear?” you commented, smirking.

“More comfy that way. Why don’t you make it even more comfortable and sit on my dick, doll?”

“With pleasure.” you moaned and sank down on his massive cock. “Fuck!” you groaned at the slight discomfort. You felt like an inexperienced virgin again. “Shit. Don’t stop.” he moaned lustfully.

You rocked your hips sensually and he met you with every thrust.

He hit all the amazing spots deep inside you and you felt your high approaching way too fast. “‘m so close, baby.” you moaned with your eyes closed. Just lost in the pleasure of every stroke inside you.

“Me too. Wanna come together. Open your eyes, darling.” he panted.

So you did as he had asked and when your eyes met his baby blues you lost it and came all over him. That in turn triggered his orgasm and he spilled inside you.

Breathing heavily you slid off of him and cuddled into his side while he pulled a blanket over you.

“That was so great.” he said.

“Hmm, and you know what? I’m still not on birth control again. Maybe… we’ll soon have a mini you running around.” you smirked.

“I would like that very much. Life is always better with a sibling.” he kissed your head.

Well and what can I say- 9 months later you gave birth to a healthy, dark haired baby boy which you named Ben. Your family became the most important thing in the world. You didn’t even want to think about a scenario where you hadn’t found out that Steve cheated on you. You were the happiest when you were with Bucky. That’s where you belonged.

[libraryofloveletters]

Love To Loss

Eddie Diaz x Reader 

Warnings: mentions of childbirth, disagreements 

Category: Angst 

Word Count: 3k

Author’s Note:  this was a product of my insomnia so here we go, also yeah I don’t know why it ended so abruptly but yeah :) 

pt.2: Loss to Love 

--

Was love real ? 

Was it worth it ? 

All the pain and broken hearts and despair, was it all worth it if in the end, I got to come home to you ? 

No idea where you were going, where you’d end up or who you’d end up being but you never let that stop you. That’s how you could yourself outside the fire station. You weren't looking for a job, in fact you were looking for someone, someone you had lost so many years ago. The station was quiet, not sure if you were allowed to be in here when no one else was, you paced the empty station. 

The sound of a horn made you look up, there was a fire engine that was waiting to reverse in and you were in the way. The door opening and shutting, a man walked towards you. “Excuse me, you can’t be standing there” he says, pointing to the side of the station, you step out of the way, allowing the truck to reverse in. You watched as he instructed the driver, the back of his jacket read Nash. He wasn't who you were looking for but maybe he could help you. The fire engine began emptying, one by one they stepped out. 

“Can I help you ?” the same man returned to you. 

“Um, I think you can. What’s your name if you don’t mind me asking ?” 

“Bobby Nash, you are ?” he stuck his hand out

“Y/n “ you shook his hand. He had a fatherly aura to him, the type that made you feel safe and comfortable, like you didn’t have to worry about anything. Bobby smiled at you, “what can I help you with, y/n?” 

“I’m actually looking for a friend. I lost touch with him a while- actually more than a while, it's been years” 

“I’d love to help but what makes you think I can ?” 

“All I know is that he's a firefighter. I just thought on the off chance, maybe you’d be able to point me in the right direction” 

“Who’s your friend ?” Bobby asked

“Edmundo Diaz, he goes by Eddie” 

Bobby let out a laugh, your brows furrowed. Either there was good news and he knew him or there was bad news and Eddie had vanished or something horrible. You braced yourself for the answer. “Eddie’s one of ours. He's not in right now, his shift starts at..” Bobby glanced at the clock, “3, if you’d like to wait.” 

“Yeah, that’d be great” you smiled. The two of you headed up the stairs, he introduced you to the team. Buck, who was more than happy to show you around, Chim who was also welcoming and super funny and Hen, who you instantly liked and knew you’d get along with. “Can I get you something to drink ? A cup of coffee? Water ?” Bobby rounded the counter, “water is fine, thank you” you took a seat on one of the stools. 

“So y/n, how do you know Eddie ?” Buck leant forward, elbows on the counter and his attention on you. “We grew up together” you took a sip of the water. Buck’s head tilted slightly, almost like he didn’t believe you. His brows furrowed “c’mon, there has to be more to the story than just you growing up together” 

There was, but were you ready to open that back up ? To tell Eddie’s friends all about why you lost touch to begin with ? 

A dry chuckle left your throat, “sure you can handle the whole story ?” you smiled at him, he nodded eagerly. “Oh yeah, I'd love to know. Eddie isn't really one to talk about his past” 

Good to know somethings didn’t change. 

“Take a seat, you’re in for a story” you patted the chair beside you, Buck sat and once again, his attention back on you. You started from the beginning. 

El Paso, 2008. 

Hot summer days didn’t even begin to explain the type of weather you were having in Texas right now. The bedroom window was open and Eddie’s back was turned to you. He had been taking a nap when you arrived, the whole point of you coming over was to help him pack up his stuff. Laying beside him, your finger traced over his shoulder, moving down to his back. Tracing shapes and drawing your own little pictures against his skin. “Mhm, Shan- stop” he mumbled as he shifted in bed. 

Your heart sunk in your chest. 

“Not Shan” you teased, “just me” you sat up, your back resting against the headboard. Eddie’s eyes opened slightly, squinting from the sunlight in the room. “Oh hey” he rolled onto his side, his head now on your lap and his arm tossed over. You smiled at your best friend, if this was the last memory you have with him before he leaves, that's fine. 

You’d keep this day in your mind forever, but just the good parts. 

“Come on sleepyhead” your fingers running through his hair. He groaned, “5 more minutes” 

“You’ve been sleeping all day, mom says you gotta get up” Eddie flips onto his back, head still on your lap as he looks up at the ceiling. The room is quiet for a few moments, the only noise coming from outside through the open window. You break the silence first, “do you really have to go ?” you ask him as he gets up. “You know I do,” he sighs as he looks back at you before he pulls his bag out of the closet. 

“I don’t want you to leave” you begin taking some clothes from the closet, folding them and setting them on the bed. “And you think I want to leave ?” Eddie grumbles, you could hear the annoyance in his voice. 

The two of you have had this conversation countless times, honestly it was the only truthful conversation the two of you have had in the last few weeks. There was an unspoken level of love between the two of you, far more than just the typical loving your best friend goes. It was more than that but Eddie was with Shannon and he says he loves her, so who were you to go and admit your feelings now. To ruin what he had with her. It would break your heart to break his so you never said anything. Instead, you stayed quiet, telling him that you’d miss him when he left and helped him pack. The rest of the afternoon was quiet, neither of you speaking, quiet exchanges as you shifted around the room and passed things to each other. Eddie sits on edge of the bed, watching as you fold a shirt, his hand wrapping around your wrist. Humming, you go on folding until Eddie tugs on your hand, nodding towards the spot beside him. 

Sitting beside him, once again, the room is silent. So silence that you hear the thoughts in Eddie’s head. “Y/n, I-” his sentence is interrupted when Sophia knocks on his door, sticking her head in the room. “Ed, Shannon’s here to see you” she pulls the door in halfway before leaving the two of you in the room. Eddie looks at you, he opens his mouth to say something but you shake your head. “Go,” you breathe, “don’t keep her waiting” giving him a small smile. “Are you sure ?” he asks, his hand on your back. You hum, “I'll be out in a minute, I just have to call my parents” Eddie nods, leaving you in his room. You lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Letting out a sigh, all the possibilities running through your mind

What if you never get to see him again ? What if he comes home a different person ? What if he doesn’t come home at all ? You couldn't leave things unsaid, you couldn't let him leave without telling him out you really felt. 

Walking into the living room, Eddie sat on the recliner, Shannon on his lap. “Oh y/n” she smiled, “I didn’t know you were here” you gave her a small smile back. “Yeah, came over to help him pack” she turned back to Eddie, “why didn’t you call me? I would have came over” 

Seeing them together, you couldn't go tell him how you felt now. He was happy with Shannon, they were in love. 

El Paso, 2011. 

Over the last 3 years, Eddie had returned home a few times. Most of his visits home had been spent with family and Shannon, you’d see him for a few hours or if you happened to stop by his parents’ place for dinner. Within the last 3 years, Eddie had also proposed to Shannon, gotten married and had a baby on the way. 

Eddie called you earlier to let you know that Shannon had given birth and he now has a son, Christoper. You of course promised to come by and see him and the baby and you made good on your promise. 

“Hi, I'm here for uh Shannon” your fingers tapping against the nurses bay counter

“Last name hun ?” she handed you a visitor badge and a pen, “uh, Diaz, I think ? I’m not sure if she chang-” your sentence interrupted by your best friend calling for you. “Found them” you gave the nurse a smile before heading down the hall towards Eddie. 

“Y/n!” his arms stretched out, waiting for you to hug him. 

“Eddie! or should I say dad ?” you gave him a hug. 

God it felt good to be back in his arms. 

“Congratulations on the baby,” you smiled, “you're a baby yourself, I can't believe you have a kid” you teased, giving his face a little squeeze as the two of you walked in. Eddie’s arm was over your shoulder and your arm around his waist as the two of you entered the room, Shannon’s look was enough for Eddie to let go and take a step to the side. She gave you a smile, “nice of you to come by y/n” 

“Of course, hope you don’t mind” 

“Oh no, of course not! You’re Eddie’s best friend” 

The baby began crying, “he’s got a pair of lungs on him huh ?” you chuckled, Eddie smiled as he picked up Christoper. Fatherhood suited Eddie, from the way he picked up Chris to just the way he looked at him, he’d go to the ends of the earth and back for his son. “Do you want to hold him?” Eddie stepped towards you, Chris had settled now. “Um, yeah” taking a seat in the chair, Eddie handed Chris off to you. You smiled at the little boy in your arms, you couldn't believe that your best friend, the guy you grew up with, the guy who was barely not a kid himself, had a kid. 

“Hey lil man- oh you're so cute” you cooed as Chris yawned. Looking at Eddie who was now sat on the end of the bed, “The two of you have a beautiful little boy” 

El Paso, 2017. 

Eddie found himself on your doorstep with Christoper. Knocking on the door, you opened it. “Hey,” your brows furrowed, not that you minded the unexpected visit but you were confused. “Come in buddy” you helped Chris inside and Eddie followed the two of you inside. 

“Did you two have dinner? I could order a pizza or I could make something ?” 

“Can I have ice cream ?” Chris asked you, taking a seat on the couch. You glanced at Eddie who nodded. “Vanilla or chocolate bud ?” 

“Both!” his enthusiasm made you chuckle, “coming up kiddo” you smiled at Chris who was already flipping through the channels. Eddie followed you into the kitchen, the two of you on autopilot, your movements in sync, not a word being spoken. Most of your memories with Eddie have been the quiet ones, not a word between two of you, just moving around together. Eddie got the bowl of the cupboard as you got the ice cream. 

“What caused the visit ?” you asked, scooping the ice cream into the bowl. Eddie gave you a look, leaving you in the kitchen for a moment to give the ice cream to Christoper. You could hear the two of them talking, Chris telling his father how his favourite show was on tv and Eddie telling him try not to spill ice cream on himself and that he'd be in the kitchen. 

Eddie returned, heading straight to the fridge to get a beer. “I take it dinner didn’t go well ?” you ask, sitting on the counter. Eddie let out a chuckle, “well wasn't even in the house tonight” 

“What happened ?” taking the beer from him and taking a sip of it. 

“They think it's a bad idea to move across the country with a kid, that Chris needed stability and apparently- they’re the only stability he’s ever had.” Eddie groaned. You understood his frustration, you didn’t have a kid but you get what it's like to have parents who are trying to contradict your life choices. 

“And you're sure you want to do this ? Move to LA?” 

Eddie’s brows furrowed, he looked at you. “What do you mean? Are you siding with them ?” 

“No, of course not. I’m just asking if you're sure if you want to move” 

“Of course I am. I need to get out of here, Chris needs a change, somewhere that doesn’t constantly remind him of his mother.” he sighed 

“Eds, you know if you move you’ll be on your own. I don’t agree with your parents, you should be able to take Chris wherever you want but you won’t have the help you have here. You have your parents and me and Chris has his friends, are you sure you want to do this ?”

“Are you going to stop me ? Like you tried to stop me when I enlisted ?” he grumbled. If Chris wasn't in the house, you sure as hell would have cussed him for that. “How could you say that ? I didn’t try to stop you, I just didn’t want you to leave, which was the truth by the way.” you roll your eyes. 

“Listen, I just came here for you to say bye to Chris because we're leaving tomorrow” Eddie begins walking out of the kitchen, you grab his hand. “What ? That’s it? We're going to leave things like this ? You being mad for no reason ?” 

“You’re the one that doesn’t want me to move on” Eddie’s voice raised slightly

“Are you kidding me?! Did I try to stop you ?” your voice raises as well. Eddie pulls his hand from yours, Chris comes over and gives you a hug. “Bye y/n! see you soon!” he smiled at you, you looked down at the little boy, your arms wrapped around him. “See you soon kiddo” you lean down and kiss the top of his head.

You follow Eddie and Chris to the door, watching as Eddie helps Chris into the truck. Watching as he pulled out of the driveway and down the street. 

----

“And that was the last time I saw him.” you sigh, Buck’s mouth hung open. “Are you serious ? He didn’t call or write or even text ?” he asked you, you shook your head. “Nope, not a word since then. He changed his number and that was that” 

“Y/n?” the voice called, the voice you hadn’t heard in years. Glancing over your shoulder, there he was. 

Eddie Diaz, your best friend. 

He looked good, healthy. He hasn't changed besides for the shorter hair which he was pulling off rather well, it was a change from the fluffy hair he had the last time you saw him. 

“What are you doing here ? How’d you find me?” Eddie asked, he was shocked to see you and you couldn't blame him. You were shocked to see him and you came looking for him. 

“Uh- honestly I don’t know” you chuckled, “to which question ?” he looked over at you

“Both” you gave him a smile. 

“Yeah, okay. You need to go, I have a shift” Eddie tells you. “Eddie, we don’t have any calls right now. They can stay, I don’t have a problem with it” Bobby tells him, Eddie nods. “I get that Cap, but I have a problem with it” Eddie turns to you. “You need to go” he tells you again, you didn’t want to fight with him, especially in front of his team so you nodded. Turning back towards the team, you give them a smile, “it was nice to meet all of you” 

Heading down the stairs, the sound of footsteps behind you makes you stop, looking over your shoulder. Buck was behind you, “y/n wait!” 

“Everything okay ?” 

“Oh yeah, where are you staying ? I’ll talk to him, maybe he’ll change his mind” 

Buck was sweet, his efforts were appreciated. “Do you have a pen or a piece of paper?” Buck pulled a pen out of his pocket, he couldn't find a piece of paper so he stuck his hand out for you to write on instead, you chuckled. Writing down the address and your number, you hand the pen back to Buck. 

“That’s the address and my number. The number’s for Eddie or for you if he doesn’t want it” you smile at him, Buck’s cheeks got red. Poor guy was flustered which made you smile, at least your charms still worked on someone. “Seriously though, thank you Buck. It’s nice to know Eddie has people that care about him” Buck gives you a smile, watching as you watch out of the station. 

Buck wasn’t the only one who watched you walk out, Eddie did too, from the balcony. The topic of you and your visit was dropped. No one asked any question or said a word. The day went on as a normal shift. 

----

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @keenmarvellover​ @venusrosepetal​ @mikaelson-emma​ @beth-winchester21​ @averyhotchner​ @fernandaweasley2​

[tuiccim]

Terrigenisis (Part 19)

Pairing: Stucky x Inhuman!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5K

Summary: After undergoing terrigenisis unwillingly your life is turned upside down when you are deemed too dangerous to return to life as a civilian. You are put with the Avengers team to train and rebuild. As you hone your powers and skills, you must also decide if you can find home and love again. Or is your curse to be a lonely wanderer forever?

Warnings: Fluff, Smut (NSFW 18+)

Dividers by @fireflygraphics

Terrigenisis Series Masterlist

It’s the night of Tony’s party and you are in your room getting ready. You exit the bathroom after a shower to see a gift box on your bed. It’s wrapped in a blue bow and you know it can only be from two certain men. The note reads “To the most beautiful woman in any galaxy, please wear this tonight. We love you.” Inside you find a beautiful dress. It’s blue and has a style reminiscent of the 40s. You do yourself up and put on the dress. A knock on the door has you grinning as you answer it. 

“Wow. You look beautiful.” Steve says, returning your grin. 

“Beautiful doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Bucky charms.

“It’s a good start,” you kiss each of them. “I love the dress. Thank you.”

“It looks great on you, doll.” 

The party tonight was one of Tony’s penthouse parties at the tower. Only family, partners, and close friends were invited. After arriving, the three of you made rounds greeting everyone. You’re excited when you finally make it to Sam. 

“Hey Sam! Wanna introduce the beauty on your arm?” you grin widely. 

“Of course,” Sam puffs out his chest as he motions to her, “This is my girlfriend, Kaziah.” He gives her each of your names and you spend twenty minutes or so chatting with all of them. Kaziah is sweet and you enjoy meeting her immensely. You are distracted a few minutes later when Loki strolls in wearing an all black suit. 

“Well, don’t you look like a million bucks!” you hug his neck as he chuckles. 

“You like it?” Loki preens. 

“Very much. You look great. Are you still planning to go back to Asgard tomorrow?”

“Yes. And before you ask, yes, I’m going to tell her.”

“Yay. I look forward to your return and hearing how it went. Can I introduce you around a bit?” 

“Lead the way.” Loki offers his arm. 

You guide him to different groups introducing him, smoothing any ruffled feathers, and making him feel comfortable in the setting. Loki relaxed as the evening passed. You enjoyed yourself, spending most of your time with Steve and Bucky, dancing, eating, drinking, and having fun with your friends and people you know and trust. It was fun. 

A couple of hours in, you notice Kaziah sitting by herself on one of the couches. Sam is in a group nearby with Rhodey and a few others cutting up. You grab an extra glass of champagne and sit beside her, holding out the drink to her, “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Yeah, there is always that little bit of awkwardness when you don’t know many people.” Kaziah flashes a nervous smile. 

“I understand,” you laugh, “I was basically dropped on the team with no warning, having never met any of them.”

“Wow. But it worked out? You’re dating Bucky and Steve?” She asks. 

“It worked out better than I ever hoped. And, yes, we are in a relationship together. We know it’s not conventional, but we’re very happy.”

“I saw you with Loki earlier. Are you with him also?” Kaziah asks carefully. 

“No. Loki is a good friend and we train together. He’s a really good guy once you get to know him.” You happen to catch his eye across the room and he smiles at you. That’s when you feel the ice pick to your head and immediately open your mind to him. 

“You’re needed in the rooftop garden, darling.” Loki’s voice drifts into your mind. 

“What? Why?” You asked confused. 

“I don’t know. I was just asked to relay the message quietly.” Loki’s chuckle echoes through your head and you grin.

“What was that? It looked like you were having a conversation.” Kaziah asks curiously.

“Oh, nothing,” you answer evasively, “Will you excuse me?”

“Uh, of course.” Kaziah looks confused. 

“It was nice talking to you.”

“You, too.”

You head to the elevator while looking for Steve and Bucky but, not finding them, you shrug and hit the button for the rooftop. Suspicion and curiosity curl in your stomach as the elevator goes up. When the doors open, you notice a trail of petals leading into the garden. You smile as you follow it.

--

Steve and Bucky had spent most of the day of Tony’s party shopping for you. They found the perfect dress to give you fairly quickly but finding the perfect engagement ring had proven nearly impossible. They didn’t know what they were looking for exactly but everything they were shown just wasn’t the one. It had to be perfect. As they visited the sixth jewelry store, they knew time was running out. The proprietor showed them several options but then, recognizing both men, he smiled and kindly suggested they check the antique store next door. He told them his brother was the owner and he kept a beautiful selection of estate jewelry. 

Steve and Bucky weren’t sure what he meant by estate jewelry but since they weren’t having any luck at traditional jewelry stores they decided to give it a try. The owner greeted them immediately and guided them to the jewelry case while offering to show them anything they’d like to see. 

“Buck.” Steve’s eyes go wide as a ring catches his attention. 

“That one? It’s not very traditional.” Bucky asks.

“Neither are we.” Steve chuckles. 

“You’re right about that. And the ring. It’s perfect,” he turns to the owner, “Can we see that one?”

“Of course. It’s one of a kind. I’ve never seen another like it. It came from a family in upstate New York. I thought it was a lovely piece.” He hands over the ring nestled in a small heart shaped box. 

“This is it.” Steve says.

“It’s perfect,” Bucky agrees. 

They paid for the ring and exit wearing grins. Tony had agreed to help them with the proposal and was having the rooftop garden turned into a paradise. Now they just had to get you to the roof and the rest would fall into place. 

--

The trail of petals leads you into the center of the rooftop garden where your men stand with smiles. Bucky and Steve are both handsome in their suits. A small table of desserts and champagne are off to one side. The garden is filled with lights and candles. There are blooming flowers everywhere and you have no idea what is happening. 

“What is all this?” you ask, all smiles. 

“We wanted tonight to be special.” Bucky says. 

“It’s beautiful,” you smile but tremble as nerves set in. What could this be about?

“Doll, we love you. You’re the love of our lives and this relationship is everything we ever wanted. So, we have something we want to ask you.” Steve says. He and Bucky take a knee in tandem and each take one of your hands.

“Will you marry us?” Bucky asks, looking up at you with a grin but you see the fear behind his eyes. You look at Steve and recognize the same expression on him. 

“M-marry? You want to, to ,to get married? To me?” you stammer. 

“Yes.” They say in perfect unison. 

They hold up a ring and you stare at it mouth agape. A star sapphire set in a halo of diamonds. The ring was obviously a vintage piece and it was the most beautiful piece of jewelry you’d ever seen. 

“You’re serious?” you breathe as tears flood your eyes.

“Yes.” Bucky says. 

“Absolutely. Please marry us. We love you so much.” Steve says. 

“Yes! Yes, of course I’ll marry you! Yes! I love you both. So much.” You exclaim as the men surge to their feet and swing you around. When your feet touch the ground again, Bucky takes the ring out of the box and places it on your finger. 

“It’s a star sapphire since both mine and Bucky’s symbol is a star.” Steve explains. 

“Blue because honesty always comes first in our relationship.” Bucky says. 

“Surrounded by diamonds because our love will always surround you.” Steve continues. 

“And antique because you’re marrying two old men.” Bucky chuckles. 

You laugh but stare at the ring that they chose with admiration, “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“Let’s toast to our engagement.” Bucky goes to open the bottle of champagne. The three of you share champagne, strawberries, and cake as they tell you about how they decided to ask you and their day of shopping to find the perfect ring. 

You stare at it saying, “I never thought I’d get married again. I just assumed in this relationship we’d just be together.”

“You are okay with getting married, right?” Steve asks. 

“Yes! I want to marry both of you. I guess it will be more of a commitment ceremony since we can’t legally get married,” you explain.

“Actually, I’ve been thinking about it and I think you and Steve should get married legally and we can have a commitment ceremony for the three of us. There would be a lot of protection for you in being Mrs. Rogers.” Bucky states. 

“I’m… I won’t be changing my name. I never did with Charlie.”

“You don’t have to. Bucky, you hadn’t said anything about this before. Are you sure?” Steve asks. 

“Yes. It just makes sense. If you’re okay with it, doll.” Bucky says. 

“I get it from a legal standpoint but no matter what the THREE of us will be married,” you smile. 

Steve nods, “While we’re on our honeymoon, Tony is going to renovate our rooms into an apartment. We just have to pick a date. We-”

“We can go over all the details later,” you interrupt Steve. “Right now, I’d like to go to our room and celebrate with less clothing on.”

“I love the way you think,” Bucky says as he helps you to stand and kisses you. 

Steve grabs the bottle of champagne and bowl of strawberries, “I’m sure we’ll work up an appetite.” He winks and kisses you. 

You can’t keep your hands off each other in the elevator and find yourself sandwiched between the two men with their lips wandering over every expanse of exposed skin. You stumble into the guest room the three of you are staying in and gasp. The room is full of flowers, a small table covered in candles and food, another bottle of champagne, three fluffy robes with your names embroidered on them and matching slippers, a wedding planning book, and a note of congratulations from Tony and Pepper. 

“This is so sweet! They are so thoughtful.” you exclaim. 

“They definitely know we plan to work up an appetite.” Bucky chuckles. 

“We should get to it. Unzip me?” you whisper. 

“My pleasure.” Bucky complies and gently guides the dress down for you to step out of it. You’re wearing a beautiful lingerie set complete with garter and heels and both men devour you with their eyes. You sit on the end of the bed, lean back on your arms and cross your legs while eyeing the two. 

“Naked. Now,” you say playfully. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky grins as they shuck their clothing quickly. When both stand before you gloriously naked you look them up and down, licking your lips. You go to them and put a hand on each of their chests before lowering yourself to your knees. You stroke both of their cocks and take turns swirling your tongue around each of their heads. 

“You’re both so good to me. I love you so much. I love fucking both of you.” You make comments each time you switch between them and they’re both looking at you with a feral expression as you praise and tease them. 

“Fuck, doll.” Bucky says as he grabs you and pulls you to your feet, “Get up here.” His mouth claims yours and Steve is behind you in an instant, removing your bra, cupping your breasts and kissing your shoulders. You feel his hard length pressed to your ass and Bucky’s pressed to your mound. You moan loudly as their hands and mouths wander over you, divesting you of your lingerie.. 

“I… I want to try something,” you moan. 

“Anything, sweetheart. What do you want?” Steve asks with his lips against your neck. 

“I want you both inside me. Both inside me at the same time.” You say breathlessly. 

“You mean, both of us inside your pussy, doll?” Bucky clarifies. 

“Please. Want to feel all of us together.” You whimper. 

“If it’s too much, you have to tell us, doll. Don’t let us hurt you.” Steve says as he picks you up and carries you to the bed. “Promise?”

“I promise.” you agree as he lays you in the middle of the bed. 

“Fuck, that’s hot. I want inside you so bad.” Bucky groans from behind you, both men are flush against your front and back. He pulls your leg up and runs his fingers through your slick folds. He dips two fingers inside to ensure that you’re ready. A third finger is added and you moan loudly. 

“Bucky, please. I need you. Please!” You beg. 

Bucky’s head finds your entrance and slowly presses in. You stare into Steve’s eyes as you grab Bucky and encourage him on. Bucky thrusts into you a few times languidly, working your pleasure and coating himself in your slick. “Come on, Stevie. Our girl’s ready for you.”

Steve slides his cock against you to coat himself before slowly pressing his head in. You gasp at the sensation. 

“Okay?” Steve groans. 

“Yes, it’s good. Don’t stop.” you moan and then cry out as Bucky gives a gentle thrust. 

“Fuck, baby, feeling both of you is so hot.” Steve groans. 

“Then don’t stop. Keep going, please.” You whisper. 

“Move, Stevie. We need it.” Bucky groans. 

Steve presses in by millimeters and keeps checking in. You feel so incredibly full and the pleasure is immense. When Steve stops again, you begin to roll your hips, loving the friction of feeling both of them in you. 

“Oh, fuck.” Bucky moans as he takes a gentle bite out of your shoulder. 

“I can feel both of you. Fuck, it’s so hot.” Steve says as he begins to move with you. 

Your moans mingle as you cling to each other and writhe in pleasure. 

“Oh, God. I’m…” the words fail you as your body shakes with the orgasm. The intensity nearly takes your breath and once it subsides you feel it immediately begin to build again. 

“You’re trembling and clenching so tight, doll. You’re so fucking perfect for us. So perfect. Fuck, can’t believe we found you. Love you so much.” Bucky groans as he begins to move a little more quickly. 

“Buck! Can feel you. Feels so good. You both feel so good. Want it to be like this forever.” Steve moans. 

You’re trembling uncontrollably. The words, the men, the intense pleasure are enveloping you, body, mind, and soul. You cry out as you fall over the precipice again. Your body shudders and your hips move of their own volition. 

“Oh, fuck. Fuck.” Bucky groans as he releases inside of you.

Steve’s hands cup your face and he kisses you intensely before his own orgasm overtakes him and he presses his forehead to yours. As he comes down from the high, he whispers to you, “Bucky’s always been right about you. You’re perfect for us.”

“You are. You’re perfect for us.” Bucky says, wrapping an arm around both of you.

You lift your hand and look at the ring that sparkles on it, “We’re perfect together.”

Part 20

Tuiccim’s Masterlist

Updates and taglist: Due to the unreliable nature of tags, I no longer keep a taglist. Updates for series are made twice a week. Please follow my sideblog @tuiccimfanfiction​ and turn on notifications for updates. All series and new stories will be reblogged to it. You will only receive notifications when a new part or story is out! Nothing else will be blogged to the page. I can’t thank you enough for your support!

[sunmoonandeddie]

feelings are fatal (18/24)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, past steve rogers x reader

word count: 3,655

summary: After the events of Endgame, you struggle to come to terms with what you’ve lost, though you’re learning that you still have something to gain.

chapter warnings: swearing, violence, being stood up

masterlist

a/n: This is part two of my blog birthday surprise!

Bucky’s face was set in a fierce scowl as he stormed into the new Compound, fighting every urge he had to punch a hole into the wall with his vibranium fist.

Actually, no. He’d use his flesh one. Just to prove he fucking could.

And just because he needed to get out some anger.

Except, he didn’t think it would diminish the fury he felt.

Because yeah, he was fucking pissed. He was pissed at himself, he was pissed at you for listening to him (which just came back to being pissed at himself), and he was pissed at every fucking bad guy that had dared to ever cross his path.

“Bucky? Buck!” Sam called out when he saw him enter. He’d been on a run and his phone had been off, so he had no idea about what had happened. “Buck, man, what’s going on?” He asked as he wiped the sweat from his brow, running after him.

“They got her,” Bucky said, his voice a low growl.

The way that Sam’s heart sank inside of his chest was written across his face. “No. No. Fuck.” He fell into stride with Bucky immediately. “Tell me what happened. Every detail.”

Everything in Bucky’s head was going haywire. All his therapy appointments, everything Dr. Raynor had ever told him disappeared.

Because all that mattered was getting you back, and he didn’t care who the fuck he had to hurt to do it.

So he did his best to lay out everything just as it had happened, though he didn’t go into… full detail about your little attempt to hide in some random van. His protectiveness reared his head at the thought of spilling the details of what you two had done in private.

A gentleman never kisses and tells, after all.

Especially not if he wanted to kiss and kiss again.

And, oh, did he wanna kiss again.

But he wouldn’t get to unless he got you back.

“Okay, first things first, we need to call the whole team in,” Sam said, already calling out to FRIDAY to alert everyone.

“I can’t think. I can’t think. I CAN’T THINK!” Bucky screamed, his face red as his flesh fist hit a glass window that looked out onto the gym. He barely even recognized that it had shattered, or that there were now agents looking at him like he was crazy.

“UNCLE BUCKY!”

Freezing in his tracks, his heart stopped when he saw Morgan running towards him, holding her stuffed Iron Man plush. “H-Hey… Hey, Morgan,” he said as he crouched down, catching the littlest Stark in his arms. “Did you guys all make it home safe?”

The little girl’s hands fisted in his shirt as she held onto him. “Yeah, but mama said all my friends and everyone is gonna stay the night here,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

Bucky knew what that meant. Pepper thought it was too dangerous for them to go home.

“Uncle Bucky, where’s Auntie?” Morgan asked after a moment, pulling back to look at him with those eyes that were just like her father’s.

“She is… She’s…” Bucky broke off, not sure how to tell her. How could he tell her that he’d failed her? He hadn’t kept you safe. “We’re going to get her back, okay? And she’s gonna be safe and sound.”

She nodded, her lower lip wobbling. “C-Can you give this to her when you find her?” She asked, her voice barely audible as she held out the Iron Man plush. “S-She didn’t have it with her when she went missing…”

“You know what, Mo? You’re so very right,” he said as he squeezed her close. Kissing her forehead, he fought back a wave of tears. “And I bet she’d really appreciate soft pillows in her room and maybe some homemade cookies when she gets back. Do you think you and your friends would be willing to make some cookies?”

The little girl needed something to focus on for the time being, and it was the least he could do. If she didn’t have something… Well. He really didn’t think she’d be able to handle losing you so soon after losing both Natasha and her father.

Though he didn’t think any of them would survive it if you were hurt beyond repair.

As soon as she was gone, the pissed off look came back over his face.

“Bucky?” Wanda breathed out as she entered, holding Vision’s hand. “What happened?”

“She was taken from the Coney Island aquarium,” Sam said, already having booted up all the tech that could possibly help them find you.

The witch looked horrified, her eyes focused on the super soldier. Like she was reading his mind, seeing the memories and what he’d gone through just earlier that day. Felt the anguish that he’d felt when he’d realized she wasn’t at their meeting spot. “Well… Guess that means we’re just gonna have to get her back.”

The doors suddenly opened, and everyone turned to see Steve Rogers storming in, Peggy following close behind.

“Where the hell is she?” The elderly man demanded, looking livid.

“We came as soon as Pepper called,” Peggy said, unable to keep up with the aging super soldier.

A frown covered Sam’s face as he glanced at Bucky. “Did you know Pepper called them?”

He shook his head, his fists clenching. He didn’t know where this was going, but he didn’t like it. At all.

Sure enough, Steve was still barreling straight for him. “What the fuck did you do?!” He shouted as he shoved at his former best friend. “Huh?! Where is she?! How the fuck could you lose her?!”

That… That shame, that self-loathing, was rising higher and higher in Bucky’s chest. Even as Steve was shoving and spitting at him in his anger—still incredibly strong even for his age—he didn’t fight back.

Because he was right. He’d lost you. It was his fault.

“HEY! HEY!” Sam shouted as he got between them and pushed back at Steve, making him stumble back away from him. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! How fucking dare you. You don’t get to fucking yell at him like that.” He was staring him down, unwavering.

And Bucky had realized it before, but it was hitting him all over again just how much he loved Sam, and just how much Sam loved him. They might not say it much, but they were best friends.

Sam believed in him, trusted him, even when Bucky couldn’t trust himself.

Even when Bucky was possibly at fault for losing you.

Steve looked shocked, blue eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Peggy had gone silent beside him.

“You don’t get to say shit when she almost died because of you. How many times did you send her out on her own when we were on the run without telling anyone else?” Sam bit out, half turned towards Steve and half turned towards Bucky. “Did you ever tell him about the other times? After we dropped Bucky off in Wakanda so he could get Hydra’s programming out of his head?”

Tensing up, Bucky’s eyes flickered between the two. “What do you mean? What other times?” He took a step towards Steve. “It was just the grocery run time, right? And you… you told me it wouldn’t happen again. You just weren’t thinking.”

Everyone except for Sam was looking at Steve in alarm, in horror. They knew that he’d neglected you for his Captain America duties, but sending you into dangerous situations on your own more than once?

“You said you wouldn’t say anything,” Steve said, his tone even as he glanced down at the ground and then back up.

“No, I told her that I wouldn’t say anything because she begged Natasha and me not to. Because she loved you enough to wanna protect you, to hide the shitty way you treated her. Because she knew how your friendship with Bucky would suffer if he knew what you did,” Sam shot back. “But you know what? You don’t deserve protecting anymore.” Running his hands over his head, his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. His deep, earthy brown eyes were glassy as he stared at the man that he’d followed into the line of fire, the man that he’d become a criminal for. “And just because we’ve forgiven you for abandoning us, for abandoning her, doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten. You better check yourself before you ever come at any one of us again like that again.”

Bucky knew how much Sam considered you a part of his family, having taken you to visit his own family in New Orleans. And Steve should’ve remembered that Sam defended the people he loved tooth and nail.

Sometimes he just forgot that he was included on that list.

He pulled the man away from the group of people and into a random tech room, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said, voice trembling. “I… Thank you. For defending me.”

“Hey, man,” Sam said quietly as he seemed to peer right into his soul. “I know we had a rough start, but you’re my best friend. And shit, you’ve done the same for me before…” He eyed him for a moment, leaning back against a desk. “We’re gonna find her, you know. There’s nowhere we won’t look, no stone that won’t get unturned.”

Bucky sniffed as he suddenly felt a wave of despair come over him. “What if we never do? What if… What if I’ve lost her forever?” The centurion let out a broken sob as he fell to his knees, the pain taking over his body. “Oh, God… Oh, God… S-Sammy, I can’t lose her again. I can’t do it, I won’t survive.”

The handsome man immediately crouched in front of him, grabbing his face. “Hey! Hey!” He said sternly, getting him to look into his eyes. “You can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep blaming yourself, and yeah, I know that’s all that’s been going through your head because you always blame yourself.” Sam took in a deep breath, intentionally sucking Bucky into their usual panic exercise where they worked to match their breathing. “So, what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna take a few minutes to calm down, okay? And then, once we’ve gathered ourselves, we’re gonna figure out where our girl is and we’re gonna kick any asses that even try to get in the way of us bringing her home.”

“Tonight was… Tonight was fun,” you said softly as you stepped into the cold, dark lobby of the Avengers Tower. The flower stall was shut down, as well as the coffee shop. The night guard stationed to your right gave a small nod of acknowledgement as you two headed for the elevator.

It was late. Really late.

But it had been a really good eleventh date, and you hadn’t wanted to go home, and neither had Steve, and so you two had gone from dinner and a movie to a late night stroll through Central Park. For your first date in public, it had gone… really well.

Of course, you could’ve done without the constantly being stopped by random people so they could get a selfie or an autograph from Captain America.

That was the price you paid, though. And considering how well the date went, you supposed you couldn't complain.

Though, you didn’t blame them. Steve was… beautiful. More than beautiful.

Sometimes you could ignore the aching in your heart that you felt for someone else when you were looking into his eyes.

“It was,” Steve chuckled as his right hand touched yours where it rested on the inside of his left elbow. He hit the top floor that the main elevator would take you to, the one that only the team had clearance to get to without getting special permission.

The elevator music filled the silence as you tentatively leaned your head against his shoulder.

“Maybe we could… have a drink?” He suggested faintly in your ear, taking in the scent of your shampoo.

Playfully gasping, your free hand moved to rest on his broad chest as you looked at him. “Mr. Rogers, are you attempting to give a nineteen-year-old alcohol?” You asked like a properly scandalized southern belle.

Steve groaned dramatically, leaning his head against yours in a show of affection you hadn’t exactly been expecting. “Doll, are you teasing me?” He asked, sounding a little breathless. “Because I just… still don’t want this date to end…”

You two had come a very, very long way from yelling and insulting each other on that fateful mission just a few weeks ago.

It amazed you just how many dates you’d been on in a little under a month. But Steve had asked you to go on a date when you’d gotten back to the Tower from your mission, and then proceeded to have that date thirty minutes later in the form of turning on a movie and laying out a picnic blanket with a bunch of pillows and food.

It had been sweet, especially when he’d propped you up against the pillows and carefully massaged your hurt ankle, going from your yellow painted toes up to your calf. His strong hands worked your muscles, undoing knots you didn’t even know you had. You two had fallen asleep there together, and you’d woken up together, his arms around you and your head on his chest.

And he’d asked you to go on another date with him, which had happened two days later.

It had been a series of dates happening every other night if not every night sometimes, a whirlwind courtship.

And you wouldn’t change it for the world.

Well. Actually…

No. You weren’t in the Red Room anymore, and the Soldat had never truly been yours.

The Soldat most likely just felt sorry for you, another little girl in a line of little girls trying their best to not be executed before they turned eighteen.

You were here now, at the Avengers Tower, with Steve Rogers nosing at your hair and holding you close enough that you could smell his aftershave.

And he wanted to have a drink with you.

This was someone you could have, someone you could love. Hell, you’d be lying if you tried to say you weren’t already falling for him. But not only were you falling for him, but he could fall for you and truly be with you.

Something you’d never gotten with the Soldat.

Granted, part of that was probably (definitely) your age. But your point still stood strong.

The strong, calloused hand on your hip tightened as you nodded, turning your head to press your nose against his cheek. “I’d really like that… A drink… and for this date to not end…” Your hand on his chest drifted down just a little, teasing his abdomen. “Maybe we could put on a movie… or some of those jazz albums you have…”

The chuckle that tickled your ear was dark and breathy, and you felt a kiss against your temples. “That sounds perfect.”

As soon as the elevator doors opened, he whisked you towards the second elevator that took you up to the third floor up. Thankfully, no one on the team was around to see you two rushing through the common area. Your heels clicked against the tiled floors as he led you to the end, where his door awaited the two of you.

You’d been to his room before, though sometimes you forgot just how big it was.

Definitely bigger than yours.

“How come your room is so much bigger than mine?” You whined as he let go of you to throw a record on his little turntable before sauntering over to the mini bar he kept. “And you can’t even get drunk on normal liquor.”

“I mean… I usually just have Asgardian mead stocked up…,” he admitted sheepishly as he reached into the mini fridge to grab a bottle of mead and a bottle of vodka. “But I… I got some stuff for if you… if you ever stayed over… or just… hung out here.”

It’s sweet. Really sweet.

“Thank you,” you said softly as you sat on the bed, running your hands over the soft comforter. “I’ve never drank before… So you’ll have to make something you think I’ll like. Because I… I have no idea what… drinks…” You were rambling. And you were extremely aware that you were rambling.

And you were pretty sure that he was aware that you were rambling based on the smile that was spreading across his face.

He came back over with a lowball glass, holding it out as he kneeled in front of you. “Here we go… Vodka with cranberry juice and a little bit of Red Bull. I know it sounds weird, but it actually tastes pretty solid.” Steve carefully slipped off both of your heels as you took the drink and sipped it, watching your expression closely. “What do you think?”

“Delicious.” You couldn’t help but giggle, feeling a little like Cinderella. “Thank you…”

There was a heat in his eyes that you’d glimpsed before in passing, but now… The way he was looking at you made you feel hot and a little sweaty. “Doll…”

“Steve,” you breathed out, heart pounding. Soft jazz was floating through the air as he tentatively took the drink from your hands and set it to the side. “Please…”

The super soldier slowly pressed his lips to yours, guiding you onto the bed. “Is… Is this okay?” He asked, cupping your face before kissing you again.

“I… I’ve never… you know,” you said, letting out a weak laugh. You hadn’t wanted to admit you were a virgin, but well…

Baby blues softened as he sat up, pulling you with him so you were sitting chest to chest. “Do you want to? I’ll be gentle… I’ll make it good for you.”

“I do… and I know.” You couldn’t help but smile as you leaned in and kissed him, falling back onto the sheets.

An hour and a half later, you curled up against him, perfectly sated and ready to fall asleep right then.

“How do you feel?” Steve’s fingers ran soothingly up and down your spine, sending tickles along your skin.

“Sore… But in a good way.”

There was a permanent grin etched on his lips as he stole another sweet kiss, holding you close. “I meant to ask you this before we got back here… but I got nervous…” You could feel his heart rate increasing under your cheek. “I… Would you… Would you wanna be my girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” you said with a laugh on your lips as you rolled over to lie on top of his chest, smiling against his lips. “Yeah, I’d love that…”

You stared up at the woman in front of you, your heart sinking. “Madame B… I… I thought you…”

“What? You thought I died?” She asked with a laugh, shaking her head. Stepping further into the cell, she took a moment to look you over, to really take you in. “You’ve gotten fat, malen’kaya.”

“Don’t call me that.”

A familiar smirk painted her face. “You’ve gotten braver since you’ve been gone… How long has it been again? A decade or so?” Madame B moved to crouch down in front of you, grabbing your chin roughly in her hand and squeezing. “I got to see you on the news… Fucking Captain America, huh? Thought you had that locked down… Though, I’m not sure how your precious Soldat feels about it…” The demon picked up immediately on the way your body tensed, and you scooted back until you were pressed against the cool concrete of the wall. “You think we didn’t know? We’ve had eyes on you ever since you… escaped. Natalia, too. You were never too far out of our grasp…” Her thin, bony fingers ran down your cheek, before sharply slapping you. “Are you really so stupid that you thought you could escape us? I raised you better than that.”

A wave of indignation rolled over you, and you straightened yourself up. “You didn’t raise me. If anyone raised me, Natalia did. You’re… You’re a…” Everything you had suppressed while you were in the Red Room was coming back, building like a tsunami. Unable to find the words, you spit in her face, your chest heaving as you watched the way she flinched back in disgust.

Madame B suddenly slammed your head back against the concrete wall, causing stars to bloom in your vision. You could barely focus as she reached into her pocket and flicked open a knife. One of the ones you used to practice with in the Red Room. “You’re going to regret that,” she hissed, her hand wrapping around your throat and squeezing hard. Your hands clawed at her, trying to get her off of you, but it was like you had no strength at all, still weakened by whatever they’d injected into your neck. “I can’t kill you… We’ve gotta wait until your Soldat comes to rescue you for that… But that doesn’t mean I can’t make you cry a little.”

Your voice went out as she brought the knife to your face and slowly ran it along your cheek, slicing open your soft skin. The white hot pain felt like it would overpower you.

But all you could think about was the fact that Bucky would be coming to rescue you at some point or another, and he’d be walking right into a trap. They’d drag him right back to that chair they used to torture him, to wipe his identity away. They’d turn him back into the weapon he’d worked so hard to not be anymore.

And for the first time, all you could hope for was that he never found you.

[astro-rain]

delicate; b. barnes

chapter thirteen - “sober desires & the reminiscence of a winsome smile”

delicate masterlist

word count: 4k

synopsis: wakanda gets a visit from our favorite captain, two drinks is too much rum for a reticent psychologist, and bucky knows (& feels) more than meets the eye.

pairings: bucky x fem!reader

[A/N]: this took so long to write but WHEW this chapter!!!! pls let me know what you think >:D

The knock on the outside of his hut was followed by a deep accented voice, one that he had heard before.

"Sergeant Barnes?" it called.

Quickly enough Bucky was outside, facing the king of Wakanda himself. He wasn't sure exactly what to say. You see, the majority of their past interactions included the Black Panther trying to kill him. T'Challa was kind and Bucky trusted him. It was just... a little awkward given the history.

"Your highness," he greeted.

He smiled bashfully at the title.

"I have some news for you."

Bucky's head cocked to the side, curious. News? Should he be worried? He hadn't been expecting anything.

"Captain Rogers is on his way here. He was alerted about our recent complication with N'Jadaka," he said, referring to who Bucky guessed was who Y/N called Erik Killmonger, "and he asked to come check in, make sure you're okay."

Steve was coming. His mood was immediately uplifted. He hadn't seen his oldest friend for months. It was weird to have Steve feeling the need to make sure Bucky was okay; it was usually the other way around. Nonetheless, he was excited. And he had the sudden urge to tell Y/N.

- - -

READER

"Sharon. Hey," she said into the phone.

The friends hadn't spoken since Y/N left for Wakanda - security measures since Sharon helped Steve and betrayed the... well everyone.

"Y/N!" Sharon greeted. "How is everything? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, no I'm totally okay. The Killmonger thing was more the royal family's deal than mine. I was just hiding out in some bunker with Barnes."

Concerned weaved its way into Sharon's voice. "Oh my god. Did anything happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, historically, stress hasn't affected him well..."

She wasn't sure why she almost got offended. "No... he was completely fine. He doesn't lose control out of nowhere and turn into the winter soldier. It's a lot more complicated than that... We were fine."

"Oh, that's good. Listen... I'm actually on my way to Wakanda right now."

"You're-... what?"

"Steve needed to check in on Bucky after Killmonger. Wilson and I are coming too."

They must all be together. It makes sense considering what happened after the disaster in Berlin, and then the airport fiasco in Germany and then... everything in Siberia.

Aw, they're in hiding together, Y/N joked in her head. She almost laughed out loud.

"Oh. Is that safe? For you? For everyone?"

"I've been careful. We've all been careful. But, things don't always go as planned. And T'Challa feels bad about putting you guys in a dangerous situation when he was supposed to protect you."

"It wasn't his fault."

"I know. We all know. But, it's kind of his way of making up for it: letting us stay so that Steve can check in on Barnes and we can cool off for a bit."

"Was Rogers mad?"

"Well, he wasn't thrilled that his best friend was trapped alone in a country that just got taken over..."

He wasn't alone.

"...he was mostly worried," Sharon continued. "Still is."

"Right."

"Alright, well I got to go. We'll be there in a couple hours."

"I'll see you. Be safe."

"See you."

- - -

BUCKY BARNES

"Hey Buck," the happiness in Steve's voice was genuine as he patted his oldest friend on the back in the middle of an embrace. "How you been?"

"A hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you, that's for damn sure," Bucky smiled.

Sam Wilson stood next to the star spangled man with a plan. Bucky briefly glanced at him.

"Wilson," he deadpanned.

"Barnes," he returned the greeting.

"I was worried when T'Challa told me about Killmonger," Steve said. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that they let you stay here, but I just didn't think I'd have to be worried so soon."

"It's alright. Everything turned out okay and I was fine the whole time. You don't have to lose your head."

"I'm not losing my head."

"You never had it in the first place."

The blonde changed the topic of conversation.

"You were with that therapist right?"

"Yeah."

"What do we think about her?" he asked with equal parts caution and suspicion. "Do you trust her?"

Bucky wasn't sure why he was almost offended.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, you know what happened the last time you were with a psychiatrist..."

"Yeah well, this one doesn't have a personal vendetta against the Avengers."

"You sure she's alright?"

He looked serious, and Bucky could see the genuine concern etched into his friend's face. Steve was truly wary.

"I'm positive. She's helped so much since I've been here. I really trust her."

"Okay, if you say so. I trust you."

Bucky smirked. "Hey uh... is Sharon with you?"

Sam said nothing but radiated a smirk to match Bucky's perfectly, a kind of smirk that only a ball-busting best friend cracks.

"She is..." Steve replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh nothing. Just wondering, that's all."

"She said she wanted to talk to a friend."

"Oh, she's probably with Y/N."

"Who?"

"Y/N. Dr. Y/L/N. 'The therapist.'"

"I didn't know they were friends."

"Why do you think Sharon recommended her?"

"She said she knew 'the best' person to help."

"That true. She's crazy smart."

"As long as she can do the job, I'm all for it, no matter whose friend she is."

In a short-lived thought, Bucky wondered what Steve Rogers would think of who else Y/N was friends with. He wondered if Steve would think it was strange to be friends with your doctor, or if he'd be pleased that Bucky had gotten close to someone, anyone else in this world.

"How long are you guys staying for?" Bucky asked.

Steve rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "Honestly, we were only planning on staying for like a week or so. We've been moving throughout Europe, and the other day, when we were in Prague... it was almost really bad."

"We need to stay low for a while," Sam added.

"What did you do?" Bucky asked, used to Steve getting himself into trouble.

"It's a long story..."

"What did T'Challa say about it?"

"He said to take as much time as we needed," Steve filled him in.

"You know, I'm startin' to really like this guy," Sam nodded, smiling. "Obviously when he went all cat murderer on you, he was a bit of a pain in the ass. But now? Guardian angel."

Bucky shook his head at Sam's nonsense. What an idiot, he thought. He wondered what Y/N would think of Sam, but then a more pressing question popped into his head.

"Where are you guys gonna stay?"

"I'm guessing there," Steve said pointing behind Bucky.

When he turned around, Bucky was shocked but he also wasn't. Behind and around his hut stood three more just like it, but slightly smaller. He could've sworn those weren't there yesterday, but that's the beauty of Wakanda. They were ten steps ahead of the rest of the world and he guessed that included speed building as well.

"I will never stop loving this place," he admired.

-

He tried not to sound too eager when he knocked on her door. She looked shocked but didn't really try to hide it.

"Oh," she sounded confused. "Hi, Bucky..."

"Hey," he grinned. "I have a proposition for you."

Her eyebrows lowered as her lips twisted into the most devilish smirk. She could communicate an entire joke with just her face.

"Not like that!" he exclaimed.

She laughed, smirk morphing into an endearing smile. "Like what then?"

"Steve wanted to have like a bonfire sorta thing to catch up since we're all together for once. You know, just like drinks and stupid stories from the forties. D'ya think you could part with your paper work to grace us with your presence?"

"Oh, uh... are you sure?"

"Of course. I'd love to have you there."

She wrung out her hands. "I don't know, Buck. Is that really appropriate? To have your doctor hangin' out with your friends?"

"That may be, but that's not what I'm asking. I want my friend to 'hang out' with my other friends."

Out of her composure seeped a meek smile. The air felt softer to him.

"And maybe you can analyze Wilson and tell me what his biggest fear is later," he added.

She snickered.

"Okay. Lead the way, James Buchanan."

-

The fire was a monster, roaring and crackling with all the life in the world. Bucky loved it. He loved the warmth, the heat, the lack of cold.

"I'm gonna get another drink," Y/N said. "You want anything, Buck?"

"I'm all set," he smiled, gaze lingering for only a second too long.

"Sharon?" she turned. "You?"

The blonde shook her head. "Oh, I think I've had plenty."

Surrounding the fire sat five chairs. All but one was empty as Y/N went to get her second drink. Of course they were in Sam's hut, Bucky thought. After all, even though it was Steve's idea, Sam was most excited about the whole thing, actually sitting down and just relaxing instead of fleeing from belligerent governments.

"Therapist's pretty," Sam noted with a smirk once she was out of hearing range.

"Y/N," Bucky corrected, mind going completely elsewhere. "She's so smart."

"Smart enough to call you Buck..." Steve said, catching on to Sam.

"What?"

"She calls you Buck."

"Yeah, so? You do too."

"Yeah, but I've known you longer. And I'm your friend."

"She's my friend too," he shrugged.

"She's your doctor..."

"And I'm a hundred year old man with one arm trying to get un-brainwashed in a country that the rest of the world doesn't even know exists. None of this is conventional."

"...fair," Steve said, with only a little bit of skepticism. "Are you guys close?"

Does spending hours alone talking with someone in a hidden bunker make you close? Does them comforting you after a nightmare and then subsequently allowing you to get the best night sleep you've had in forever? What about making daring voyages to quaint waterfalls and laughing a kind of laugh that makes your heart swell? What about-

"Buck?"

He shrugged. Again. "I guess so."

Sam narrowed his eyebrows. "How close?"

"Wilson," Sharon admonished exasperatedly. "Y/L/N's his doctor, come on. That's inappropriate to suggest."

Sam put his hands up in mock surrender. Briefly, just briefly, Bucky imagined kicking the leg of Sam's chair and watching him fall back. He didn't, obviously. But it would have been funny if he did.

The seemingly never ending conversation was cut short when Y/N returned, drink in hand, and took her seat next to Bucky.

"What'd you get?" he asked, demeanor subtly but swiftly changing into something lighter, something happier.

"I don't know, but it has rum in it," she shrugged sardonically before clinking her glass with Bucky's.

"Cheers," Sam raised his glass, trying to engage.

Y/N wordlessly, and with a half-smile, raised her glass in his direction.

"So," Steve started, comfortably crossing his legs and leaning back into his chair before asking Bucky, "you wanna know what actually happened in Prague?"

"Do enlighten me. I've been waiting all night."

"Jerk."

"Punk."

The rest of the night went on sort of like this. The group took turns telling stories and then listening. Cracking jokes and then laughing. Everyone but Y/N, Bucky noticed. She just... sat and drank, livelihood only extending to the borders of her seat.

He hadn't seen her like this before, and he found himself stuck halfway between confused and worried. Had something happened? Had something wrong been said?

He kept an eye on her as dusk melted into night. He told himself it was because he was concerned, but that was only in addition to the way he was magnetized to how she looked with the light of the fire gleaming on her skin.

After she would finish a drink, she'd stare into the fire for a little while, before leaving to get another. When he made sure no one was looking at him, he'd look at her. Discretely. At her eyes. The reflection of the fire in her pupils made him wonder if she would burn the fire before it could ever burn her. He was all too aware of the heat that accompanied her gaze. It was a ravishing burn that made him ache for the searing feeling as soon as it was taken away.

He didn't dare think of it for too long or else he would get distracted. And someone would call his name, pulling him out of a trance he didn't want to be caught in. A trance he wasn't sure he wanted to admit that he was in.

The night remained as such until someone - he couldn't remember who - said they were tired, and everyone bid their farewells, and wished their good nights.

Y/N spared about a side hug to Sharon before walking off on her own. Bucky half volunteered, half insisted on tending to the fire to make sure it went out, only to ignore it as soon as everyone was gone and follow after his psychologist.

He caught up to her as she was in the middle of opening the door to her living quarters.

"Y/N."

She turned around in the spot, door wide open, staring up at him.

He bore into her eyes, looking at something, noticing her dilated pupils and hazy stare.

"You're drunk," he said, but it sounded more like a question.

"Yeah."

"But you don't seem drunk?"

"I'm not wasted," she padded into the room, carelessly leaving the door wide open for him to walk through. "Just drunk enough to remember why I didn't drink in college."

She rubbed her eyes.

"Think I want another one," she sighed, heading for the door with a bitter smile. "More rum."

Bucky gently closed the door, maneuvering himself in front of it, and blocking her from exiting. Another drink is definitely not a good idea.

He changed the subject. "Why didn't you drink in college?"

Her eyebrows raised, introducing a look that said Really? You think I don't know what you're doing?

"Wow, look at you being the voice of reason for my otherwise inebriated brain."

Nevertheless, she cooperated.

She sighed. "It just... makes me miserable. I'm a sad drunk."

"Better than a mean drunk," he offered.

"Possibly. It's a real mood killer, though."

"That why you were off all night?"

"Off... ? I don't know, I guess so... I'm usually pretty inconspicuous when I'm drunk. Didn't think anyone would really notice."

There was no hesitation when he spoke.

"I did."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry. Just... why did you keep drinking if it only makes you miserable?"

"Alcohol is a depressant," she breathed mechanically, as if speaking was difficult. "It depresses your nervous system, then you get disinhibited. Then you don't care about rationality and just drink! Then in the moment it feels kinda good... but then it makes you sad... and then you need more to blur the feeling away. It's like... the worse you feel, the more you need to drink... but then the more you drink... the worse you feel..."

"How are you drunk but still talking... sorta still like you usually do?"

She smirked, looking like she was trying not to laugh. He was glad she was smiling.

"Maybe you're not the only one with heightened metabolism as a result of the serum..."

He looked at her quizzically, amused. She wasn't making total sense, but he couldn't find it in himself to give much of a damn. She smiled, again.

"Kidding. I just have outstanding self-control."

She plopped down on the floor, deciding that she no longer wanted to use her legs. Fine motor function was overrated for intoxicated people.

He sat down with her, next to her.

"If I tell you a joke will you be less sad-drunk?"

"I already am 'less sad-drunk.' I wasn't before, but," she took a breath in, "now you're here, so... improvements have been made."

"That's good 'cause I was worried before."

She glanced up at him with brazen eye contact. Her face held a mixture of what looked like a confused and pained expression, as something changed. Some sort of realization or reality check.

She wiped her hands over her face. "God, this is so ridiculous. I'm sorry. You shouldn't be worried about me, that's not your job. I'm sorry. I should just go to bed, and you can leave..."

"I know it's not my job. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I was alright- it... it's not like I was crying at the fire or something. I was fine."

"After your second drink, you were silent almost the entire time."

"You were counting my drinks?"

Not exactly.

"I was paying attention."

"To what?"

To you.

"You completely turned into yourself. Your elbows and legs were drawn in close to your body: unrelaxed and almost apprehensive posture. You were nonverbal, didn't make any jokes, no sarcastic commentary. I was literally purposefully saying things I knew you would correct or tease or laugh at and nothing. I was waiting for a 'smartass' or a 'there's a reason behind everything' explanation or anything science related. But there was nothing."

Her face was blank. It took her a second to catch up. Blinking slowly, she shook her head, eyebrows furrowed, all emphasis on the word. "Why?"

Her tone was truly confused. It was like she, in her heart of hearts, for the life of her, could not believe he was concerned.

"Y/N you're my friend," he chided. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She averted her gaze. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I don't know."

"Look," his voice was soft. "I know you know everything and you know my mannerisms and micro-expressions and you know when I'm lying and whatever else 'cause you're a genius psychologist. But is it really that hard to believe that, after all the time we've known each other, I know you a little too? That I saw you for once instead of you always seein' me?"

"I think you're the only person who sees me."

The words leaked out before he thought to analyze them, tone lower than a whisper.

"Well I can't seem to look at much else."

He had never felt such potent silence. Did he just fuck up majorly? They just sat, on the floor, eyes glued to each other like twenty year old dried cement. He didn't think he could move away if he tried.

"I see you now," she whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"Blue," she breathed. "Your eyes are so blue. I don't... think I've ever seen that shade of blue."

It happened exponentially slowly, but the closer her face got to his, the more his chest felt like it was going to burst in the best way possible. As if liquid light poured into his lungs, inflating his chest and igniting every nerve with adoration.

Her lips hovered over his so lightly it was as if it wasn't even happening, like her affection was a ghost. But it was happening, and he could feel it. He could feel the softness in her lips and the smell of the rum she drank as they combined into the wondrous dual sensation that permeated throughout his brain.

They weren't kissing by any stretch. Their lips were hardly touching. However, in that moment, he was at her mercy. He was prepared to bend the laws of nature to her will if she would allow the continuation of this feeling for even a fraction of a second more.

Until it stopped and she waned away like the moon bidding adieu to the morning sky.

Her voice shook. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't... it's-"

"No. It's not okay. It's not okay."

He leaned back, examining her face. She looked confused and embarrassed and scared.

"Y/N, it's fine. It's okay, seriously, don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry, I'm... I'm drunk and I'm disinhibited and it's affecting my judgement and making me impulsive. I'm sorry."

He couldn't be exactly sure, but it sounded as if she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince him.

Neither of them moved a muscle.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

She was silent, frozen. It reminded him of a past conversation about the fight or flight response.

Bucky stood up and offered his hand to the woman sitting on the floor in front of him. "Here."

She took it gingerly and stood up with him before wide eyes stared into his apologetically.

"Please don't feel bad," he pleaded. "Barely anything happened."

"Still..."

"Why don't you just get some sleep and we can talk tomorrow. I promise it won't seem like such a big deal when you're sober."

She nodded but they both remained motionless, hands still together. He knew they needed to let go, but her hand didn't move, and she just kept looking into him.

"Okay," she whispered.

She walked him to the door, hand still in hand, and until he was forced to let go of her to open it. He stepped, ever so slowly, out of her room and onto the grass outside. He looked up at her, the doorway between them suddenly feeling like worlds of distance. They stood on opposite sides of the open door like statues. Bucky didn't know what to do and he wasn't sure what to say.

He settled on a, "Goodnight."

He tried not to make it sound so weak and timorous but he failed entirely. He didn't want to leave her like this. Guilty and alone. God knows he knew what it felt like.

Her voice was dry and quiet. "Goodnight."

He wasn't sure when the door shut or which one of them had shut it. The only thing he was sure of was the feeling of formidable regret pooling in his stomach.

On one hand, there was regret for letting her lean in and get so close because now he was scared that their dynamic was ruined and worried that Y/N felt awful. On the other hand, there was regret that he just let her pull away. Regret that he didn't lean in more and shamelessly drown in her. Regret that he didn't unapologetically suffocate himself with the softness of lips, the inebriating smell of rum on on her tongue, and the utterly bewitching taste of her he was sure would follow.

He wasn't sure what he felt, to be honest. He was a muddle of emotions of which he had no idea how to sift through. Momentarily, he wished he was drunk so he wouldn't have to think so hard. Then, he remembered the saying, "drunk words are sober thoughts," and he was damn glad he was stone cold sober; he could only imagine the things he would say to her if he was drunk.

This lead him to pondering, it got the gears in his brain turning. It made him wonder. Maybe... just maybe... if drunk words were sober thoughts, then what if drunk actions were sober desires?

Thinking like this could cause him read the situation completely differently. Thinking like this could make him read the situation in such a way that conceived the slightest sliver of hope for emotions gone repressed. Hope is dangerous...

Hope is dangerous, so Bucky shoved it down into the deepest cavern of his brain, the very same cavern where his feelings for her resided. It was a monster in a cave, growling and hissing menacingly. Intensely.

It scared him, this intensity. It scared him so much that the only way he could fall asleep was by thinking about the way James Buchanan sounded when she said it with a winsome smile.

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[mxndoscyarika]

Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice (Sam Wilson x fem!Reader) | Chapter 1: Snickerdoodles

Summary: Being best friends with Sarah Wilson was simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing you’ve ever experienced. You felt at home with the Wilsons, and helped raise Sarah’s children after her divorce and the Snap. But harboring feelings for her brother, Sam, and not being able to do anything about it hurt more than it should. When he comes back home between leads on Karli Morgenthau, with Bucky in tow, you can’t help but feel a spark of hope.

Ao3

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Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice masterlist

Author’s note: It’s been a very long time since I’ve written anything for Marvel, so I hope this is ok! I tried to keep the story canon-compliant, so you can think of this as sort of an elaboration on Sam and Bucky’s time in Louisiana. Enjoy, and let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my taglist!

Warnings: food, mutual pining, jealousy, tfatws spoilers

| next >

“Careful, AJ, the tray’s hot,” you warned as AJ and his brother burst through the doors of the house. They still had their backpacks on, the zippers and keychains jingling as they ran up to you with all the energy two young boys could hold. “What’s going on?”

“I think a better question is: what are you doing in my house?”

Your eyes widened. You recognized that voice. When you looked up, you were greeted with Sam standing at the entrance of the kitchen, his own bag slung over his shoulder.

“Uncle Sam is home!” the boys cheered, running back to Sam and smothering him with hugs. They easily reached past his waist by now; they couldn’t stay little forever.

He looked as great as you remembered, his kind smile and sparkling eyes making you feel butterflies in your stomach even after all these years. No amount of high school sleepovers with Sarah, weekend dinners, or summer drives could’ve changed that. The fact that his shirt fit him perfectly definitely didn’t help, either.

“Welcome home, Sam,” you greeted, unable to keep a smile off your face. Fidgeting with your hands, you explained, “I’m doing some baking to test recipes and also make dessert for Sarah’s box lunches. If I knew you were coming home, I’d have gone to pick you up.”

The last couple times he’d visited, you were busy at work. And as much as you wanted to stop by, you knew Sarah missed her brother. It would’ve been selfish for you to show up during their short reunion.

What you didn’t know was that Sam went through his visit waiting for your car to pull up on the driveway, or park by the dock. Sarah had called him a lovesick puppy.

“Don’t ‘Welcome home, Sam’ me, come here.” He waved you over, lifting his arm so you could slip into his embrace.

Laughing softly, you hugged him tightly around the waist and rested your head against his shoulder. You tried not to think too hard about how you fit perfectly against him, the warmth and strength of him like the missing piece of the puzzle that was your life. “We missed you a lot.”

“I missed you, too,” Sam replied softly, his arm tightening around you just a little. The soft rumble of his voice made your heart flutter. “I really need to come back more often. Next thing I know, the boys will be as tall as me and you’ll be married to the luckiest bastard in the world.”

“Not that lucky,” you reasoned, pulling him along to the tray of cookies. “I’ve been doing lots of recipe testing, and my apartment is already full of cookies and cakes. It would drive anyone crazy. I don’t think even the biggest dessert person would be able to stand it.”

His eyes lit up at the sight of the cookies. “I didn’t know you knew how to make snickerdoodles. Can I have one?”

“Go for it,” you said, touching the edge of the tray to make sure it wasn’t hot anymore. “You can be my taste tester. The ones in stores are always too sweet, so I figured I would make my own.”

“I’ve been telling you: your baking skills are unmatched,” he said. A moan left his lips as he bit into the cinnamon-sugar cookie, causing your face to heat up. “Between your baking and Sarah’s cooking, I’m surprised neither of you have opened a bakery or restaurant. The line would go down the street.”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly in the best position to open a bakery these past few years,” you noted, leaning against the counter next to him. Your day job wasn’t fulfilling, but it was what you needed to stay afloat. Baking, on the other hand...it was a dream. If you could spend your days baking instead of sitting in an office, you would. But you dreamed of a lot of things. You didn’t quite realize how close you were until you looked up and found yourself face to face with him. His gentle smile and soft eyes made you look away quickly, not wanting him to think you were staring. Although you totally were. “Anyways, what brings you back here?”

The door opened again, and in walked Sarah and Bucky Barnes, the two chatting away with bright smiles on their faces. You hadn’t seen Sarah quite that energetic in a long time; being a single mom and keeping the family business afloat definitely wasn’t easy. Even with your help in taking care of the boys after the Snap, you knew Sarah had a lot to shoulder.

“Who’s this, Sam? Your new partner?” you asked, walking up to introduce yourself. Meanwhile, Sarah busied herself with getting AJ and Cass to calm down and start on their homework.

“More like coworkers,” Bucky said, shaking your hand. “We figured that since there’s not much going on right now, we might as well lay low. This is a very nice house, by the way.”

Smiling, you replied, “It is. Well, this is Sarah’s house, so I guess you should be telling her that. I’m just helping out however I can.”

“I know, she told me about you on the way here,” he said, his voice soft like velvet. “All good things, I promise. Though it didn’t take me long to realize how great you are.”

Well, that caught you off guard. You couldn’t help but smile shyly and wave him off. “Oh. That’s very nice of you-”

“Hey Buck, why don’t you get settled in? We’ve still got some work to do on the boat.” Sam interjected, coming up behind you. Resting his hands on your arms protectively, he continued, “You can set your bag down in the living room, and we can figure something out for the night.”

---

A couple days later, everyone was sitting around the dinner table, chatting over plates of peach cobbler. The chunks of golden fruit glistened with sugar and cinnamon, half-buried in buttery crumble and melting vanilla ice cream. You’d made it after work, driving from your apartment to make it with the Wilsons and Bucky. Sure, you could’ve made it at home and brought it over, but there was something special about a freshly-baked cobbler that was still bubbling from the oven.

“-And then Sam came over and took over peeling and cutting the peaches,” you began. “So-”

“And so, everyone made it through the prep with all their fingers intact,” Sam finished, laughing at your pout. Mimicking the way you held the paring knife, he explained, “The way she was holding the knife was terrifying! My blood pressure shot up just by watching her.”

He’d gently pried the knife out of your hands, insisting that he knew what he was doing. You’d rolled your eyes but obliged so you could focus on making the crumble. No matter how long you knew each other or how many times you proved yourself, he always had to butt in. It must’ve been an older brother thing, much to your dismay. As great of a brother you knew he was, you didn’t want to be his little sister. You wanted something more than that.

“Oh no, you sit back down,” Sam started, making you pause your cleanup. He went around and stacked up the empty plates, shaking his head fondly. You tried not to look too lovestruck as his arm brushed against yours, the touch gentle and warm. “Bucky and I will take care of the dishes. You girls just relax, ok?”

You watched them go, your gaze lingering on Sam’s broad shoulders. That was one thing that made you fall in love with him; whenever he was around, you felt safe and cared for. His hugs were a luxury, and his kindness a rarity in today’s society. Maybe he thought you would get married, but you wondered why he hadn’t found the one. He’d looked so handsome at Sarah’s wedding, you could just picture him standing at the altar someday.

“I saw that look.”

You blinked. “Look? What look?”

Sarah smirked and rested her head on her hand. “You can’t fool me. I saw you making those googly eyes at my brother.” When you sank into your seat in embarrassment, she laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not mad. Actually...I’m excited to see where this goes.”

“Nothing’s going anywhere,” you said, rolling your eyes. It didn’t matter that you had feelings for Sam. After all, you were his sister’s best friend. If anything were to happen between the two of you, it could affect their relationship. You couldn’t do that to them, not after everything they’d been through.

It was hard enough to see him knowing that you were such a big part of Sarah’s life. Telling him would put that all at risk. What would Sarah tell the kids if you couldn’t ever come back?

“There’s always a chance,” she reasoned, keeping her voice low to make sure no one else could hear. “Besides, something tells me he wouldn’t say no. And I’m sure the kids would love to have you be their official aunt.”

You smiled, trying not to give into the glimmer of hope. “I guess we’ll just have to see what happens, then.”

Meanwhile, Sam and Bucky were huddled around the sink and covered in droplets of soapy water.

“You are an actual child,” Sam chuckled, flinching as Bucky flicked some suds at him.

“Not as childish as you for not telling her that you’re in love with her,” Bucky jabbed, rinsing a plate under the water before handing it to Sam for drying. “How long have you been at it, birdy?”

Sam sighed and shook his head amusedly. “You really want to go there?”

“I’m just saying, it’s kind of hypocritical that you can flirt with your sister’s best friend but I can’t flirt with Sarah,” Bucky said, giving him a knowing look.

“You do realize flirting with your coworker’s sister is worse, right?” Sam rebutted, putting the dried dishes away. “If you hurt her-”

“You’re changing the subject, Sam,” Bucky interrupted, letting the water rinse away the soap residue before shutting it off. Crossing his arms, he said, “You haven’t answered the question.”

Unable to look him in the eyes, Sam sighed and said quietly, “18 years.”

Bucky’s brows shot up. A mischievous grin appeared on his face, “Almost two decades. You’ve got it bad, huh?”

Bracing his arms on the counter, Sam smiled to himself. “We met shortly after I joined the military. We only got to know each other a little before I had to go again, but...she was something more to come home to, you know?”

“Wow, you talk like she’s your wife,” he teased, recalling the way Sam had held you. “Do you plan on ever telling her?”

“And risk making things awkward for my sister if she doesn’t feel the same way?” Sam shook his head. “I can’t do that.”

“Well, how do you know she doesn’t like you back? She looks at you a lot, always gets that cute little smile whenever you talk-”

“Wait, cute?”

Bucky held his hands up. “I’m just making an observation.” He smirked. “One that seems to get you a little jealous, am I right?”

“No-”

“You’re lying, I can tell by your body language” he cut off, smiling softly. Gesturing towards where you and Sarah were sitting, he said, “Let me just say this: if you don’t ever tell her, one day you’re going to feel much more jealous when you’re sitting in the audience of her wedding.”

---

“Hey Sam?”

The man jogged down the stairs. “You called?” He reeled back as you turned around with a forkful of funfetti cake, narrowly missing his face. “What’s this?”

You looked startled at how close he was, still holding the fork up. “Oh, I was just wondering if you’d taste this and tell me if it’s sweet enough.”

He chuckled softly and leaned in. “Of course, honey.”

Warmth spread through your body at the pet name. His lips closed around the fork just as Sarah walked in, drawing your attention away from the man in front of you.

At first, you were confused as to why she was grinning like a cheshire cat, but then you realized something: you were feeding Sam.

Your bodies were nearly pressed against each other, your free hand resting on his bicep as you fed him the cake. You became keenly aware of how close your faces were, and how at some point he’d rested his hands on your waist. Part of you wanted to savor this moment because it wasn’t likely to happen again. Another part of you wanted to run away and hide for doing something so ridiculous.

Sam turned his head and froze. Heat rushed up his face as his sister shot him a knowing look.

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[remmysbounty]

Hellooo! Can i request a torres x reader where reader is very important for bucky, they’ve been living together like a family in brooklyn so when reader starts dating torres bucky starts acting like a dad and gets very protective??❤️

Thank you 😊❤️❤️❤️

O M G can we all agree that Bucky being like a protective dad is the most perfect trope everr also I know I am messing up the timeline here but screw it

Ahhhhhh I’m gonna write this one and then I’m gonna write the other one that’s sitting in my inbox and ahh I just want to write all the requests sitting in my inbox and I’m sorry for taking so long I really really really am 🥺

💛 thank you to all of you though for still supporting me and sending me requests

It first started when you graduated college, your living situation turning from perfection to nothing. Bucky could see the despair and worry in your eyes, you didn’t even have a job to pay for a place for yourself but you still needed a stable place. And yet to him there was already a simple solution to your worries, “How would you feel about living with me?”

Part of you was shocked and yet another part relieved, “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You could never bother me kid,” Bucky pulled you into his arms, much like a parent comforting their child would, “Alright?”

You smiled for what seemed like the first time that day, “Alright.”

Moving in with Bucky seemed to make your somewhat familial relationship even stronger, you’d help Bucky with his nightmares and therapy while he watched out for you and tried to provide advice when you wanted some.

At first, you knew the neighbors looked at the two of you oddly, one woman going as far as making a comment about your relationship which only made you laugh so loudly that you got even more stares. But after a while they started to see the relationship as just the way the two of you explained it, family.

You built a little place for yourself in that apartment in Brooklyn, having family meals every morning and night, movie binges and book binges while sharing the couch. You’d go on dates only to return in need of a comforting embrace from Bucky and occasionally you’d try to get him to go out as well. And yet it was a life you enjoyed.

Then Sam stepped in and it was no longer just Bucky and you living in that Brooklyn apartment but now Sam, Bucky and you traveling the world, stopping criminals, and enjoying the places you stopped at a long the way. But not once did you ever see the possibility of maybe moving out one day- until you met Joaquin.

Bucky knew you were a goner for him the second he saw your eyes. You were entranced by the young man, your eyes watching his every move almost begging him to step closer to you. And all Bucky felt was worry, worried and scared at watching you possibly get your heart broken by the soldier in front of you so he did the one thing he could think of, he blocked your view.

“Hey,” you pouted softly at his rather obvious response, only to look into Bucky’s eyes and see everything he was imagining and pause. He had become an open book just for you.

“I’ll be fine,” you whispered no longer trying to get a peek at the soldier whose name you still didn’t know. You could feel his eyes on you however, although you were pretty sure it was out of confusion as to what was going on with you and Bucky and not admiration.

Bucky nodded, “I know, I just-“ he struggled to find the words, so you reached over and grabbed his non-metal hand squeezing it softly. Your way of reminding him that you know, even if he didn’t say the words you always knew.

“Good, so let’s get this one over with and then maybe pop by Sam’s so I can watch you fail pathetically at flirting with Sarah.”

“Are you two down with your whole family talk?” Sam stared at the two of you in his usually taunting way.

You winked at Bucky, “Oh ya, we were just talking about our plans to stop by your place after this, might finally convince Buck to ask Sarah out.”

What made you smile though was seeing the soldier whose name you still didn’t know laugh at how you made Bucky and Sam react.

Then Bucky made you want to punch him, “So Sam, you gonna introduce us to your friend or what?” smiling directly at you as he asked.

Sam, being Sam, caught on to what Bucky referred to and sent a smirk your way, “Right, this Joaquin Torres, we just call him Torres though. And just letting you know Buck he is trying really hard not to fanboy on you right now.”

“Oh please, as if you didn’t fanboy the day you met Steve and then Natasha,” you turned to Joaquin, happy you finally knew his name, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Joaquin smiled in return.

You wanted to freeze that moment in time and remember it forever, only to hear Bucky’s soft growl breaking your daydream.

The mission came and went as quickly as you were expecting it to, and next thing you knew you were preparing to leave the base, not expecting Joaquin to walk up to you, clearly looking nervous.

“Hey,” you spoke softly, hoping it would help calm his nerves.

He smiled back at you in return, “I was wondering if maybe you’d- I mean you don’t have to say yes- but if you’d want to grab a coffee sometime, whenever I’m in the city or maybe after one of these missions, whatever you’re up for.”

“I’d love to.”

Joaquin’s smile grew and once again you wished you could inscribe that smile into the depths of your mind and just pull it out whenever you wished to see it again. Then his smiled dimmed slightly and you rolled your eyes because you knew exactly who had come up behind you.

Not even bothering to turn around you spoke, “James stop it, I swear to god if I hear another growl coming from you-“

Bucky sighed softly.

You smiled against Joaquin, “please don’t leave, let me just talk with this idiot okay.” He nodded his head, stunned by how you just treated the super soldier standing behind you.

Pulling Bucky away you constantly looked to see if Joaquin continued to stay there, happy to see that he did.

The two of you stood there, staring at one another. You broke first, “Bucky,” you whispered softly, “you know this isn’t going to change anything right? We are a family.”

He couldn’t look at you as you spoke, ashamed at how his protectiveness had come out, and yet he felt your piercing stare, waiting.

“We are family,” he whispered in return and then brought you in to the tightest embrace you’d eve received, happily giving it in return.

You tapped on Bucky’s back, signaling to him that you needed air, and yet continued to hold on to him as the two of you separated, “Now I’m gonna go talk to Joaquin, okay?”

Bucky nodded and sent a smile your way, “You know if he hurts you I’m going after him.”

You smiled and laughed, “I know. Just maybe don’t mention that until we actually go on a date.”

You walked up, happy to find Joaquin still waiting, “So about that coffee? You free now?”

“Ya I’m free,” Joaquin smiled as he answered.

“Perfect, lead the way flyboy.”

——

Joaquin Torres: @pascalpanic @cleversturmhond @booksmusicteaandanimals @cooluncleboba @autumnleaves1991-reads @marvelouss-marvel @mischiefmanaged71 @the-and-sign-anon @barzal-burakovsky @young-romanoff

[half-bakedboy]

All Too Well

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz Rated: General Contains spoilers from season 5 episode 2: Desperate Times

Summary: “Is that enough?”

Buck spits the words right back, more venom that Eddie could have tried to muster. He doesn’t mean to. He really doesn’t. If anything, he had tried to keep his emotions at bay the second Ana’s name lingered between them.

But he does.

Because if that’s enough for Eddie, why doesn’t he love Buck?

Or a look inside Buck's head during their panic attack talk.

(read on ao3)

Buck has never been one to hesitate before talking to his best friend, but he sees Eddie with an arm over his face, lying down for the first time since Ana and Christopher left, and his feet feel like they’re stuck to the floor. 

He takes a few deep breaths, preparatory, anxiety-reducing, reminders that he’s breathing and that his best friend is hurting. He’s the one to make things better, to get Eddie through everything, so why is he hesitating? 

“Hey, are you sleeping or just pretending?” 

He knows the answer but is grateful when Eddie actually speaks. 

“I was actually trying to until you interrupted.”

Sarcasm, that’s— good. Buck isn’t sure when sass and thinly veiled annoyance became good but he isn’t about to overthink it like he has been for the last hour. 

“I’m exhausted,” Buck offers. He thinks that maybe if he shares something small, Eddie might be willing to give in return. “Uh, how are you feeling?” 

Buck knows the answer to this question, too, and he finds himself secretly hoping Eddie answers in sarcasm so he can truly convince himself that things are okay, that his hesitation was unwarranted.

“Hot,” Eddie drawls, “I’m sweating out of places I didn’t know I could.”

Well, Buck did ask for sarcasm. He didn’t expect the glint of arousal to strike through him like lightning, though. 

Or the quick jolt of panic as he rakes his eyes over Eddie’s body for nothing other than symptoms, an indication of what might be wrong because, for the first time since he’s met Eddie, he doesn’t know.  

“Not like a cold sweat though, right? Any chest pains?” 

Buck yearns to reach out, to feel Eddie’s pulse in his wrist, press a palm over his forehead to check for a fever. Hell, he would go grab a blood pressure cuff and EKG monitor from the ambulance if Hen and Chim wouldn’t yell at him. Buck considers it more than he should because he needs to know that Eddie’s really okay before he drives himself crazy. 

Eddie just stares, unimpressed. 

“You don’t give up, do you?” 

Nope, Buck thinks, though he wouldn’t risk saying it out loud. After a long exasperated sigh, Eddie relents, “I’m fine, Buck.” Like Buck is actually supposed to believe him or something. 

“People who are fine don’t go and see cardiologists,” Buck responds. 

He’s clutching the clipboard in his lap a little too tight and he feels it. The way his knuckles burn, the way his fingertips crease the papers he’s been pretending to focus on all day. He hopes Eddie doesn’t notice. He hopes that he does.

Because Eddie is a lot of things, but he isn’t oblivious. That oblivious. Buck sighs. 

“You need to tell me if something is wrong,” Buck finally says. 

It’s not a request, it’s an order. One that he’s not sure Eddie will follow, but one that he hopes will get the point across. 

Because Buck is scared.  

He’s been terrified ever since Eddie’s blood splattered all over his face, since he watched the nurses shove a tube down his throat and make no promises. Since Eddie sat beside him, alive and well, and trusted him with the most important thing in his life—in Buck’s life. 

That fear has only risen ever since he saw the way Ana smiled up at him during his welcome home and the way Eddie grinned right back, the smile Buck had too long convinced himself was his own. How comfortable she looked mixed in with his family, the family Buck started to consider his. 

He’s scared because he’s never felt so much, so strongly for another person since— No, that’s not right. He’s never felt this way about anyone . 

Eddie isn’t just another person to destroy him, another partner to tell lies and fall away. He isn’t going to be replaced in Eddie’s life just because he has someone else, someone who might know what’s going on in his head and doesn’t have to demand an answer. 

Eddie is different, he always has been. And Buck has to hold onto that. 

He does even when Eddie speaks again. 

“It was a panic attack, not a heart attack,” Eddie sighs as he sits up. Buck knows he’s irritated but he can’t bring himself to care. He has always mildly irritated Eddie, why should this time be any different?

Actually, he finds himself gripping even tighter at the clipboard—at hope— when Eddie admits to it. 

Panic. Of all the things Buck thinks Eddie is going to say, panic isn’t one of them. 

“Since when do you panic?” 

Then he considers the number of times he’s woken up in sweat-soaked sheets that felt too much like Eddie’s blood and tears in his eyes that he can’t seem to wipe away fast enough as they burn his cheeks. The pain of his sobs that still tear through him when he remembers the lost look on Eddie’s face in the firetruck, asking if Buck was okay like it mattered. The feeling of failure when Christopher’s hand patted softly at his shoulder.  

“That’s what I said.”

Something flashes in Eddie’s eyes that looks like surprise, realization, but Buck pushes it aside. He can’t cling to hope too tightly. He knows how that works out for him in the end. 

“I don’t panic,” Eddie huffs and then exhales, “except I did.” 

“Okay, well, what triggered it?” Buck lists off the reasons for his own panic, expecting a match, but Eddie doesn’t stop him to agree. 

He stops him to argue and it isn’t what Buck expects. 

“That wasn’t it,” Eddie interrupts exasperatedly. “If I’m being honest with myself, I—”

When has Eddie ever been dishonest with himself? 

“I think it was Ana.” 

Ana. The name that spirals in Buck’s mind too often when he has to remind himself that Eddie isn’t his. The name that only passes his lips drenched in sarcasm or malice or a thin veil of hope when he doesn’t think too much about what he is saying. 

The name that sparks nerves, anxiety, fear, dread, confusion— 

Panic. 

“Uh,” Buck stutters, hoping his heart beating out of his chest isn’t obvious, “I thought things were great with Ana.” 

He watched Eddie kiss her on the cheek during her surprise visit, watched as Christopher hoped out loud for a new mom, a wife for his father. Sure, he didn’t react exactly how Buck had expected, but he didn’t seem to panic. 

Or he did and Buck was too focused on his own misery to truly see it.

“She’s been a godsend through all of this, staying with Christopher, but… I think that’s what’s causing the panic.” 

He sounds so sure, so confident that there couldn’t be anything else, which is the Eddie that Buck remembers. Buck isn’t sure it’s the Eddie he wants to see at this moment, though. He wants to see Eddie happy, Eddie making plans for his future, Eddie beaming at the thought of being in love with a perfect person, the one that Ana seems to be. He wants Eddie to feel the joy that comes from spending time with him, the way Buck does. 

“Somehow we became a ready-made family and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” 

He says the other word that haunts Buck’s nightmares. 

Buck always thought he knew what family meant, what family was supposed to be, then his parents stopped caring. Then Maddie left and he was all alone. He thought he had found his family at the one-eighteen soon after and he was happy. God, was he happy, for the first time since he could remember. 

Then he met Eddie. 

Then he met Christopher. 

How defines his family is a little cloudy now. 

“So what are you gonna do?” 

And isn’t that the question of the day, the minute, the seconds that he spends gripping onto the clipboard in front of him to keep his hands from reaching, comforting, desiring. 

Eddie shakes his head. 

“I’m just gonna stick it out. Ana’s been the first woman I’ve wanted to spend this much time with since Shannon…”

“Stick it out?” 

Buck flashes back to his own attempt at sticking it out. Convincing himself that eventually, Eddie will realize what they mean to each other. His plans to stick it out even if it meant he wouldn’t be as happy as he could be, had pretended he deserved to be. He was going to stick it out because he would have Eddie in whatever way he could. 

“That’s not how you talk about someone you’re in love with.”

Buck’s not sure if he’s talking to himself or Eddie anymore. 

“My kid loves her,” Eddie shoots back, heat in his voice that doesn’t match the worry on his face. 

Buck’s not sure if he’s talking to himself or Buck anymore. 

“Is that enough?” 

Buck spits the words right back, more venom that Eddie could have tried to muster. He doesn’t mean to. He really doesn’t. If anything, he had tried to keep his emotions at bay the second Ana’s name lingered between them. 

But he does. 

He wants to grab Eddie’s shoulders, shake them until his brain wobbles into sense, kiss him and mutter the words back to him a million times over. 

Because if that’s enough for Eddie, why doesn’t he love Buck?

Is that enough? Is that enough for you to love me back? Is that enough for you to spend the rest of your life with me instead? For me to stop pretending anyone else is going to be a better fit for me than you? 

Because I love your kid more than anyone in the world, Eddie, and if that’s enough, then… 

Why not me?

Eddie’s silent for a moment too long, a second prolonged into a minute, that might have lasted forever if Buck didn’t break it. 

“Eddie, I’ve been Ana. I know what it’s like to be in love with someone who’s not all the way in.”

He thinks of his parents first. Then he thinks of Abby. Even Ali flashes through his tired mind. 

But nothing lingers like Eddie. Nothing has ever lingered like Eddie. 

“Deep down you know it and it hurts. It hurts worse than the truth.” 

Buck’s lived through a lot of truths. His parents creating him for spare parts, Abby leaving him and not looking back, Ali unable to handle the one thing he loves most in the world— loved most in the world, past tense because there are two things, two people , that have that title now. 

He’s lived through being in love with his best friend, his best friend’s family, his best friend’s son. He knows what it’s like to hold onto that hope that maybe, just maybe, someone won’t abandon him, someone won’t think he’s not enough. He has held onto the hope that someone loves him—not in the way he wants, but loves him just the same. 

Briefly he wonders if knowing Eddie doesn’t love him back would hurt more than not knowing. 

Buck shakes his head instead of saying any of his thoughts out loud. 

“So if you don’t wanna hurt Ana, you owe it to her to be honest.” 

Buck isn’t sure whether he’s talking to himself or to Eddie. 

“It just feels like a lot, man.” 

And Buck? He knows the feeling all too well.