#but hey good news is i slept some and i'm so stoked for some of my clients asfdsgfdg shit is exciting

[cursedfortune]

bad news is i didn't really get to do rp stuff this week like i wanted. good news is i caught up on a lot of work. it's super exciting, too, cause a couple of them are finally moving forward to finalize their work of official publishing and i'm so happy for them. :') side bonus to good news: i've written out a framework to all the asks for the fortune reading bit. so all i have to do is write them up. ^^ if anyone still wants in on it, just go here and read how to.

hope you're all doing good. stay safe. <3

[apocryphalfiles]

Static. Part 3

Keita suzuhara

Lover? did he have one? Probably. He still wasn't absolutely sure on his feelings towards her yet. On *****. His mind was a haze as the scene changed. He felt like somebody was speaking to him. As if somebody's sentiments were reaching him.

"If I remain oblivious to the problem somebody dies. If I ignore the problem everything fades away until there's nothing left in the world."

It was an abstract concept. He felt as if he existed between yet another waking and sleeping state. All he knew was that he'd made the wrong decision back then.

"Satan, you mean satan right?"

He asked, choking out her name. Was he awake, was he asleep? Was he talking aimlessly on the street like some kind of weirdo, he didn't know anymore. Everything felt like an ambiguous haze, but he was ready for the next scenario at least.

The dull, pointless ending stoking the fires in his heart.

Ha-Satan   "Hey, Keita... what am I?" Ha-Satan asked one night, lounging on the tatami mat next to Keita as he relaxed on his futon. This room looked like the sleeping area of a ryokan. The sliding door was behind them, to the side, a wooden table with a CRTV playing a news channel that was so incomprehensible it might as well have been static, and in front of them, where her gaze was focused, a door opened out onto the balcony where the full moon hung in the night sky. The cool summer breeze blew into the room and with it, the soft scent of mineral water carried up from the spring that rose from the hot springs.

"I want to say it's been a long time, even if I slept through much of it. Why were we waiting for so long? Maybe we should just have said 'screw it' to history's trials and enjoyed ourselves instead. We could've done so many things, like find a deserted island and build a resort on it, or build an Arabian merchant empire and live in a desert palace waited on by servants wearing those sexy outfits that show your stomach. Why didn't we? Oh, right. It was you who wanted to do things properly." She sighed and rolled over onto her back. She sounded tired.

"This was your trial. You're the one who dragged me into this, Keita, so it's all your fault. The least you could do is take responsibility. Well, all I ever really wanted was to see humanity thrive."

"So, it's okay. I guess it doesn't matter what happens to me."

Deep in the forest, a tall woman was pinned to a wooden cross driven into the soil with nails. A small woman- no, a wooden doll wearing a Victorian-style green dress decorated with black lace and a thin sewn with the symbol of a crucifix over the forehead- ran around her with a watering can, desperately trying to put out the fire eating the kindling at her feet. No matter how much she poured, the meager amount of water falling through the holes in her watering can wasn't enough to douse the flames, and she started to cry pitifully as she ran back and forth, continuing her efforts no matter how futile they were.

"But I'm a loser." Ha-Satan sighed. Even though she wasn't projecting her voice at all, it was easily heard over the crackling of the flame crawling up her legs. "Always have been, always will be. All this power, but I always lose when it matters. I couldn't do anything back then, either. Am I going to have to watch this keep repeating? How many times will it go on? I really, seriously... hate 'Gods.'"

And you're the worst of them all.

A man with long blonde hair and a presence like the rotting animal scraps thrown out in the back of the butcher shop dumpster waited behind the burning stake with tears running down his face. "Ahhh, Satan- ahhhh, Satan!" He wailed, a sound that choked out the good doll's cries. "I promised you victory. Was it not enough? Was I still unable to overcome fate, after all of this?" Was he laughing, or was he crying? It was impossible to tell. The air was filled with the stench of burning flesh and the acrid taste of tears. "Will you not cry out to me even now? Do you truly hate me that much? Please, at least now, say my name! Look at me!"

Like a puppet with its strings cut, the shadow dropped to his knees, his face in his hands. The flames crawled up the woman's waist and chest, eating her clothes and then feeding on the bare flesh underneath.

"Then, shall there be no other choice- I'll at least grant you the peace that your heart desires above all else, the final death."

Satan was to burn alive She would become nothing but ash, just like everybody before her. Honestly why even try at this point. It was all fated to end this way, wasn't it? Try as they might they all just lived foolishly. Just lived and died.  

This blonde man prayed to Satan's demise. Her final death.

His fellow classmates would be taken to god knows what until he suffered in the world all alone by himself.

Altera would suffering and die for all eternity.

Everything was due to his own personal failures. Because of how cruel and evil he'd been in the past the world would suffer. Because he didn't react fast enough way back when people would suffer. Time and time again his actions caused others to suffer.

It was best to give up right now and just fade away...

...

...

...

A world where Altera's rotting corpse lay on the ground, her guts spilled out like spagetti. A dog had walked over and started gouging on her remains. Doubtless it would gobble her hole.

SLASH

The entire scenario had been slashed and removed. Cut as if somebody running scissors through a reel of film. Everything started turning to static. The program was rejected by the only editor that mattered.  Cut and tossed in the trash bin.

The japanese were being shipped into internment camps, likely to be raped, tortured and executed. Toys for their new masters to do as they wished with them.

Humans were just cattle to be used until they were executed. The second coming of Christ orchestrated it himself.

The Japanese were just pigs.

And as he raised his spear up high to end it all...

SLASH---

The scenario was cut again. Cut like a pair of scissors.

The world became engulphed in static as the projector flickered out.

The editor rejected this cut outright. Hell he threw the whole reel in the trash bin and set it on fire. None of this footage was useable. In his word 'just trash, start from scratch.'

Satan burned. The flames beginning to eat her flesh as she was crucified.

SLASH

A boy suddenly cut space and time, bursting into the scene as he reeled his arm back. Slash slash slash slash slash.

He cut the flames, cut the stake she was being burned on, cut her clothes, cut everything that could be used to harm her.

Keita Suzuhara skidded on the floor, grabbing Satan bridal style before finally straightening himself. His scarf blew dramatically in the wind.

He held the woman tightly, his eyes becoming resolute.

"If this is to be our fates, I reject this shit outright. Sorry this makes for a boring ass story. The kinda guy who would write it has a few screws loose you know? I think I could write a better story with my eyes closed. So I'm gonna. No ifs ands or butts."

He looked over at the blonde man, preparing for some altercation or what have you.

If somebody was going to try to twist it to a bad ending he'd reject that scenario and cut it too.

Kikuei   The blonde man fell still, blending into the background. The flames stopped- stopped, not that they were put out, they just froze, like the recording of a fireplace had been paused. Only the doll remained animated, fidgeting restlessly with her water can, watching Keita.

When Keita looked at the stake and his reflection and then back at the woman he'd saved, he'd realize the girl in his arms wasn't Ha-Satan anymore, but a Japanese schoolgirl with long black hair he'd never met before.

"You say that, but... I mean, you're just talking tough, right?" About the power to cut through the despicable endings that defiled this happy world- no- "It's not like you've ever slept with her... I think. I was wondering if you were actually straight or not."

Keita He looked down at Kikuei raising an eyebrow as he held her tight in his arms. He still didn't let her go, instead a sigh escaped his lips as he closed his eyes. Well, at least things were sorta turning to normal, weren't they?

Truth be told Keita wasn't unattracted to women... He was just horribly nervous about getting sexually close to them at this point, sociopathy aside.

Of course he wasn't going to tell this girl that.

Kikuei   "Is it really okay to be calling yourself a Tsundere?" Was it better or worse that he was self-aware? This was a question even she from her vantage point above the world couldn't answer.

"Does that mean you're waiting until marriage? That's very Christian of you. Although I'm not sure it makes sense for the Devil to get married. She doesn't exactly mix well with churches..."

Midori(bot)   The tense atmosphere of the scene had dissipated and turned into casual relationship talk, and the doll was left gaping in confusion. It didn't look like she'd succeeded in putting out the fire, but it wasn't spreading anymore either. "I-Is everything... okay now?" The tall woman didn't seem to be burning at the stake, but she'd also gotten shorter.

Keita "Yeah don't worry it's all hunky dory. Nobody's gettin hurt anymore. Aight?"

Midori(bot)   "Oh, thank goodness..." The doll collapsed with relief. The watering can tumbled out of her hands onto the forest floor, clattering against a nearby tree. "I- I didn't know what to do. And there was so much fire. I- wahhhhh-!" Even though she was just a doll, she started wailing.

Keita He set Kikuei down, kneeling next to the doll.

She was real then.. Huh?

"H-hey you alright? The fire's all out. YOu didn't get attacked by anybody while you were here, did you?"

Midori(bot)   The doll eventually stopped crying after Keita approached her. "I- I didn't get attacked. But it was scary... I don't know where I am. All of this... I don't want to see someone get hurt in front of me, if I can help it." She lowered her arms and looked up at the purple crescent moon in the sky. "It feels like everything is in a dire state... Why is this happening now?"

Keita

He struggled to find something to say, staring up in the air as he felt the cold air on his skin.

"... No idea. I'd like to know that myself. But... If bad things happen the best thing we gotta do is fight against it, you know? DOn't give into despair and what not. Always keep your chin up... Hey, what's your name?"

Midori(bot)   "My name is- Midori." The doll answered with a shaky voice. "I'll try to fight... I'll do the best I can... but that doesn't mean it'll work out in the end." Just like then, she tried her best, but it didn't do anything.

Keita "I don't mean physically. Physical punchin ain't always gonna solve everything. There are other things you can do. What are you good at Midori?"

He decided to ask the spooked doll like girl. His voice was more gentle than usual.

Midori(bot)   "W-well... I can do administrative tasks, like notifying everyone about personnel updates, organization of new scenes and chapters, and managing randomization functions like dice rolls..."

Keita suzuhara

"Wh-what the heck are you some kind of internet managemant bot or something? I think I heard about them on forums? Or are you a robot?"

He asked, pulling on her cheeks a little bit.

Midori(bot)   Her cheeks didn't stretch at all because they were doll cheeks. They just felt smooth to the touch. In fact, her skin was made out of wood or something that felt like wood. "I am... a Midoribot. My job is to keep the world running smoothly." Though that was really Izanami's job.

Keita suzuhara

"My name's Keita. Alright midori bot. I need your help with something... If you're job is to keep the universe running smoothly, then I want you to do something for me, alright?"

Midori(bot)   The doll's eyes lit up almost immediately at the chance to be useful, and she raised her head and stopped crying. "I will! Anything!"

Keita suzuhara

He stood before her, reactivating his soul formation. It glittered brilliantly in the darkness as the wind picked up again, blowing his scarf as he looked down at the small doll. Heroically, something quite unlike him.

But ah well.

If he was gonna look heroic he wanted it to be now.

"Spread the word about me. Keita suzuhara, the second coming of christ. The real champion of this world whose gonna keep it from dying."

"In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost I'm gonna come right in and wreck anybody whose gonna destroy this world. All apcolyptic shit heads and nihilistic losers They'll fall to my holy blade, Exorcist Rev 2."

So he made his holy declaration to the small doll before him. To his holy chronicler.

Midori(bot)   "...Oh!" Now that she got a good look at it in the violet moonlight, that blade Keita wielded was quite the sight. It reminded her of the weapons wielded by shonen heroes in the sorts of chuunibyou books that her master liked to read and write.

"I promise!" The doll agreed with fervent enthusiasm. "Then, this is a pact between me and you...!"

Keita

He gave her a thumbs up.

"Gotcha. And make sure to make me sound cool, got it?"

He requested. THAT was the important part, clearly.

Midori(bot)   "Understood! If it's for the sake of the world, I'll preach your story for as long as I keep running!"

Kikuei   "...Keita." The schoolgirl finally interrupted Keita's heart-to-heart with the distressed doll who'd somehow been thrown in here as a bystander.

"Do you want to know about me and Altera? Or is this already enough?"

Keita suzuhara

He thought for a moment, before nodding his head.

"Yeah... Might as well get all this mystery shit outta the way involving you two, alright?"

[galadrieljones]

I'm so sorry you're feeling crappy, that's the worst when you're pregnant. TMI Tuesday stuff! How are you feeling about being a mom to a new little one again? Any concerns about the transition from one kid to two? Also, not really a question but I love seeing you putting out more art lately! You have such a sweet style and I'm really enjoying seeing it so often again.

Hey! Firs thanks for your kind words. I just slept a bunch and am feeling a little better. I should probably try and eat some crackers now that the worst is past lol. I get so afraid to eat after this sort of thing happens, but alas, food is necessary. 

I’m not super nervous about adding kid #2. Of course, I’m always stressed out about my time. Luckily, I teach at a university, and my husband does too, so we both have a lot of free time and we parent basically 50/50. It takes a lot of stress off. But no matter what, I have a strong tendency to get selfish with my time. Like doing my creative things, writing mostly. What’s weird is that I’ve been 100000% more productive as a creator since becoming a mother. I think it’s true that you just learn to cut out the stuff that is less meaningful to you, and so while, yes, your pool of interests and commitments gets smaller by necessity, it shows you what really matters. So I think it’ll be okay. But yeah like of course I’m not super stoked about those first like, 8 weeks lol. At least I know what’s coming now, which does make it feel less scary, it also makes it feel more.....dreaded lol. Like waking up five times a night ugghghghghghghghghghg.

Thank you so much for your note about my art!! I feel good about it lately and this is very validating. For whatever reason, I’ve been slammed with a massive creative rush in these last couple months of pregnancy. I think my brain is like, “bitch do shit NOW” almost preemptively lol. Thank you thank you

TMI Tuesday - Ask Me Anything ^_^

[askjennie]

Hey Jennie I (19F) recently started at a new uni and met a guy like noone I've ever met before. The things he says are like the exact things I'm thinking and I we've been through a lot of similar struggles. I've never been this comfortable around someone so quick before and for the first time I would actually consider a relationship with him but I don't know if he likes me in that way. (pt 1)

Continued: We’re definitely friends and he’s put in effort to catch up with me. We’ve even shared a bed after drinking one night but we both just slept and kept it platonic, I don’t know if he just views me as a friend but we do seem to have gotten pretty close pretty quick (2 mths). Anyway just wondering if there’s anything to look out for to indicate what way this is going to go. He’s a genuinely great guy and I’ll be stoked to be friends but it would be nice to know if there could be more. (Pt 2)(p.s I’m extremely inexperienced so there’s no way I have the confidence to say anything to him unfortunately. (Pt3)) thanks so much in advance

Jennie: I think the main things to look out for are a) physical contact and b) compliments/verbal hints (here’s some more info on that). If it seems like he makes more physical contact or says nicer things to you than he would with another friend, there’s probably a good chance he likes you. If you like him, try flirting a little and see how things go!