#but he's very conflicted about his involvement and not quite ready to embrace the demands of “fatherhood” lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

edythe-cullen · 4 years ago

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I was inspired by @panlight with her Charlie!Vampire Hunter idea and this Drabble sprang from it. So enjoy!

Everything happened so fast.

Blood, horror and terror all at once. Mike was first, he didn’t seem to understand what was happening. A pale, slender hand wrapped itself around his neck, a white flash of teeth then red, so much red. The creature had hit the main artery, the gushing torrent of his life force pumped out and onto the ground, the blanket they had been sat on was wet and marred with splatter. There had been no time to scream, instead his last moments were open mouthed, crying out for his mother.

Then, Jessica and Tyler in tandem. The vampire who had misjudged Mike was moving on, leaving the boy half-dead gasping amongst the grass. Jessica was in his arms, almost a loving embrace as he tore into her throat. Another vampire had appeared, red headed and wild, she reached for Tyler who did not have a chance to flee. Only then did Bella understand what was happening, the stake hidden inside her bag had slipped from her mind. She had never before used it to defend herself, it had always been an offensive attack. Her father by her side. Protecting her. Keeping her safe from harm.

All she could do in that second was run.

She had reached for Angela, dragging her away while a scream penetrated the air, she could not tell whose it was, only that it was not Mike’s.

Her converse skidded on the grass, slippery with the dew of twilight, and with blood.

They had just been leaving, packing up their picnic and heading back towards their cars. They had to be back as they had school the next day, showers were to be had, bags to be packed, lunches to be made. But they had been giggly and happy from the day and the food. The sun had just sunk below the trees leaving a purple cast over the woodland. Jessica had delayed them, demanding golden hour photos and they had all agreed, ready to post the, on Instagram, evidence of their day of fun.

She hasn’t made it far, collecting herself from a fall, her palms scraped from where they had been cut against the hard ground, her hand had slipped from Angela’s. She was screaming for her to run, to keep running, and not look back. That was when she felt a foot on the small of her back, then a sharp crack. She could flee no longer.

The vampire reacher out, caressing a finger to her cheek.... then nothing but pain so violent its blackness consumed her.

News of the attack spread like wildfire.

Forks was only a small town, low crime rates, the occasional drunk driver or low level burglary, but nothing worth it making the news. Well it had, but only once in fact, as the only noteworthy thing about it was that the town experienced the highest rainfall in the continental US.

Now it was the ‘town of terror’, splashed across every news station, national new stations camped outside the victims of the families, scouring the crime scene for their own inside scoop.

The school was temporarily closed out of respect for the five senior students involved. A makeshift memorial had been created outside the main entrance, flowers and photographs and letters of mourning while five smiling faces stared out from amongst the public grief.

The house was silent and had been for many days. Alice all but lived at the Cullen house, no one had particularly missed her or even noticed her absence at home. Jasper remained close by at all times, hovering and angry. Too scared to leave her… or touch her. His very presence both protected and endangered her. She saw his conflict in her dreams, of the things he would not voice to her, all that he kept inside his soul that was on fire, always burning.

While in response to the attack the rest of the Cullen’s took shifts, each night patrolling the immediate area. She did not know if they were doing it to protect her, or their own privacy, or in revenge for murdered children. Or what would they do if they did come across the vampires. She had not asked.

She had seen them both so clearly in her dreams. A man and a woman. Both fair, both handsome but wild with anger and bloodlust, no shreds of humanity remained, not even a facade. Her dreams offered her no answers to their location as hard as she tried.

Instead she dreamt of the survivor.

A ventilator pumping air into broken lungs, a body so black and blue, a patchwork of hand prints across her body.

Carlisle had been upset upon his return, informing them collectively of the state of the survivors. Her condition was deliberate, although he doubted that they had meant for her to live.

It had upset them all, a reminder of what their kind was capable of.

Alice had known the victims in the way she knew everyone in that small high school, that Mike Newton always pushed in line when getting lunch, pulling on Jessica’s pigtails to rile her up, everyone knew they would be that couple, the childhood sweetheart who would marry. Or that Angela Webber, who sat behind her in maths and would always ask for help from her partner, Ben Cheney, both blushing with the bloom of a first crush. While Alice had often wished to be invited to hang out in Tyler’s van where he would play loud music too early in the morning, and he would laugh and joke, so casual and cool. Or Isabella Swan, the girl who would sit in the canteen staring at Alice with a scowl so deeply etched in her face, as if somehow she knew the truth about her... The only person Jasper had ever warned her to stay away from.

He had not left the hospital in over a week, his moustache was evolving into a full beard. But he didn’t care. How could he? Renee had been called on the day of and she had flown to Forks as quickly as she could. She had displayed her grief loudly and publicly and had retired to his house, their house, nestling herself into his private life as though she had never left. She would bring him food, clean clothes, she would kiss the top of his head just as she used to before. They were united once again for a cause, much like just after the birth of her…

Crowded in a hospital, praying for her recovery.

She had been born too early you see, so small, so weak, she hadn’t even been able to breathe on her own in the first few weeks. He wasn’t even able to hold her for those first few months, encased in a large plastic shield protecting her from the outside world. He used to hold Renee so tightly then, her face would be pressed against his neck and he used to wonder how she was able to breathe. He still had had to go to work, he was only a young police officer at the time. He would go and drift through his shift, all thoughts focused upon his newborn. Then he would return straight to the hospital.

This time he refused to return to work, as chief of police he had advantages and ones he was willing to take full advantage of. So instead he remained there, half-slumped in the uncomfortable hospital chairs desperately grabbing snippets of sleep before returning to his watch.

He did the same as when she was a baby encased in the plastic tomb, reaching out to take her hand in his own, praying for her to hold his hand in return.

Sleep no longer mattered, hunger no longer motivated him, nothing in the temporal world many any sense.

One relief was that the vampire had steered clear, the vampire who masqueraded as a doctor in his own local hospital. He had not been part of the debate which had allowed such nonsense of course, and everyone was already quite aware of his opinions. But he technically posed no threat, instead supposedly utilising his ‘gifts’ for good (they still kept an exceptionally close eye on the hospital blood banks and all local hospitals) and appeared a god-fearing good man to everyone who did not know his true evil nature.

He had however received a letter, written in a ridiculous fancy script that took him longer to decipher than to read the note in its entirety. It was an apology. A sincere expression of grief for the deaths of the teenagers and of the state of his daughter, how the vampire had regretted not being there in order to repel the other vampires, to protect the teenagers and if there was anything he could do to help him...

He ripped the letter up, burning it with the lighter he always kept on his person. He did not need a vampire’s sympathies.

Never in his life would he ask for help from a vampire, certainly not Carlisle Cullen.

Carlisle remained at the nurses station, a safe distance away from peering eyes, and unhappy vampire hunters, but close enough he was able to monitor the girl as much as he could and to offer assistance should it be needed. Guilt threatened to overwhelm him often, as it had to be his fault for the death of the four, soon to be five, teenagers. Had their presence not drawn in the strangers then this would not have happened.

Not that the strangers had made themselves known to them, instead making occasional visits to their land, crisscrossing with their scents, but making no move to communicate. Not that Carlisle would have anything pleasant to say. He had seen the crime scene photographs, the mutilation of the bodies had been graphic, but he could not fully understand the intention, whether it was to be a message, or a warning?

The mother of Isabella Swan entered once again, looking haggard and wild, with some awful-smelling food packed into a Tupperware container. She went and greeted her ex-husband gently, kissing the top of his head, wincing at his rejection.

Carlisle wanted to walk away, tend to his other patients, but he could not. Just in case Isabella Swan coded again and he was the only one who could save her, listening to the minute changes in the human body that were lost to the human ear. She had already coded three times within forty-eight hours.

“Charlie... I’ve spoken to Annalise Becker again...” The bereavement counsellor, who no doubt would have briefed Renee on the best care for her daughter. Informing her where they were in her care plan and where they were going. That there had been little to no change for over a week, that the chances of her waking up were slim and chances of a full recovery was nil. The stress that her body had been put through had been monumental and for a moment Carlisle was immensely proud of this random human girl and her resilience, her fight to live.

“I don’t want to hear it Renee.” He cut her off, unwilling to consider any other approach than waiting and hoping, that there was any other option than recovery. Annalise Becker had most definitely suggested the termination of life support, it would be quick after that, painless. With the ventilator removed and other wiring that was keeping her alive she would look peaceful, almost like she were sleeping.

“And what?” There was a crash and he looked away, pretending to read notes, while other hospital staff watched the room just in case their assistance was needed. “You’re not killing my daughter Renee!” The door was thrown open, the door handle slamming into the wall and leaving a deep gouge. Charles Swan stood in the doorway looming and ferocious, like a cornered dog.

He ducked his head, he did not plan on aggravating Charlie anymore.

“No one touches my daughter!” He roared, a warning to staff, and stormed towards the emergency exit.

Carlisle could see it then, the fearlessness needed to hunt vampires, the ability to stare one of their kind in the eye and drive a stake through the chest. He no doubted the man would rather face seventy vampires than his current situation.

“Awful isn’t it doctor,” a young nurse shook her head, looking forlorn towards the room. “So young, such a waste.”

“Did you know her?”

“Who? Isabella? Oh yes, my younger brother is friends with her, she was always so kind, so lovely. She tutored him in government until he got an A, didn’t ask for anything in return.” She sighed deeply, catching a stray tear and leaving him once more to stew at the nurses station.

Something made him think of his own father, and if he had had the chance to mourn his own death at the hands of a vampire. If he had found his corpse hidden in that basement, dead to the world while he transformed, would he have driven a stake into his heart? Or would he had helped him escape? Carlisle was not sure of the answer, but he knew he would not have wanted his father to suffer in his grief alone. Before he realised what he was doing he was moving toward the exit.

Charlie Swan was crouched, head hanging so low, while tears dripped a steady rhythm onto the grass beneath him.

“Charlie...”

At his voice the man looked up, the face of a grieving man transformed into one of anger.

“What do you want?”

In an attempt to touch the tissue as little as possible Carlisle held it out towards Charlie, a peace offering. Charlie stared at the small white tissue with such strange mixed emotions, he took it eventually, a grab that had it ripping, and a small corner remained held between his fingers.

He did not know what to say so as not to offend the man, he could not offer condolences as he would throw it back in his face, nor could he offer advice as it would only inflame the man. So instead he leant against the brick wall.

“I cannot begin to understand your grief, but my wife can, her boy died at birth and I saw how it consumed her.” He swallowed, an unnecessary human habit, but it displayed his nerves. He was sure Esme would not mind him sharing her tale however. “That is what killed her, her boy died and she couldn’t bare it, so she ended her own life shortly afterwards. I found her, mostly dead, and...” He stopped himself, unable to use the word ‘save’ as he knew Charlie would object. “I changed her, but it took a long while, dealing with it all. I’ve seen how consuming it can be... I can give you her number if you want someone to talk to about it...” Once more he knew the man would not accept the offer, but he hoped it was the thought that counted.

He tried to understand the man before him, who had yet to say a single word beyond ‘what do you want’.

Then it dawned upon him, justice.

As any man would want.

“We’re looking for them still, we believe it’s just two of our kind. We still don’t understand the motive and they have yet to reach out to us. But...” He wondered if there was some Volturi code against what he was about to say, he was sure living in close contact with a group of vampire hunters had already broken a few laws anyway so what was one more, they would be dead within the century nonetheless and any crimes would be forgotten and thus forgiven. “If we do find them... we can pass on their location to you...”

He thought of his own youth, of London, of those midnight raids and of the horror he had seen that still lived with him to this day. Of the countless victims, both poor and rich, left like debris in the street, or thrown into the Thames without a second thought who would wash up on the banks leaving a detailed trail of evidence of the amount of vampires who lived within London. Violent crime was high back then and it was so easy to get away with.

“You would turn in your own kind?”

Charlie had not used the tissue, scrunching it tightly inside his fist, while his other hand rubbed at his red eyes, wiping away the tears.

“I do not associate myself with those kinds of vampires.” He responded, his tone tight and short. “You did not attend the meeting when we first arrived... I explained to your brethren then that while we may be vampire in appearance we do not engage with violence or killing, we only wish to exist in our quiet corner, undisturbed. Your council agreed to those terms. We are not like the rest of vampire kind.”

It was clear Charlie did not believe his words, or understand them, Carlisle could not tell which.

The hate for vampires was hard-wired into his DNA, suspicion was perhaps the kindest emotion he could regard Carlisle with, and for that he accepted it.

“Since you’re here I want the truth. No sugarcoating. What did the vampire do to my daughter and what happens next?”

He couldn’t look at Carlisle as he spoke, instead his eyes were trained on the horizon. Even so he still played with the large silver signet ring on his left hand, a weapon if needed.

“Her spine is broken... she has several broken ribs, her femur is broken in two, alongside serious deep tissue bruising. Butt this is mostly superficial, and will heal over time. What the concern is the serious brain bleed she suffered...” He could see it then, the violent image invading his mind, the way the vampire would have slammed her head into the ground to subdue her, as it immediately quieted the victim through either knocking them out or disorientating them. Carlisle assumed she had been fighting, utilising her silver jewellery to the best effect, as evidence by the scratches on her hands and torn fingernails. “The brain activity we would be hoping to see, any improvement at all, just isn’t there... This is not what we expect to be seeing when the patient is in recovery...”

He paused, watching as perhaps for the first time, Charlie acknowledged the severity of his daughters condition.

The next thing he saw was a first aimed straight for his face.

“So you’re telling me.... that you and that Black kid have never....”

“Fucked!” Mike cut in laughing, Jessica aimed a sharp kick that he managed to dodge, angry he had ruined her interrogation.

“Nope.” Bella shrugged unable to bite back a smile. Just because she hadn’t technically had sex with him in the traditional notion didn’t mean she hadn’t done stuff. But that was private. She thought of only the previous night where he had come over for dinner with Charlie. They had gotten along so well, talking of sport, fishing and cars. Traditional guy stuff. Charlie had practically beamed when she told him they were dating, as though he and Billy had had it all planned out since their births’.

How as she had walked him to his car after Charlie had waved him off he had held both her hands in his, how warm he was, how comforting. How he had pressed his lips to her own and she had felt like she was on fire.

“You’re such a little tease Bella.” Jessica rolled her eyes, and snapping her gum so loudly it echoed around the clearing.

“What about you and...”

“Shut your whore mouth?” She had dived on her, clamping a hand around her mouth while the two wrestled, giggling with each other until Bella emerged victorious.

“Stupid question Bella, of course we’ve done it. Nearly got caught too last week by my mom. She wasn’t supposed to be home until seven but...” Mike shrugged with a cool laughter while he and Tyler hi-fived.

“Mike that’s private!” Jessica whined having nestled herself into Bella’s lap she began to plait her hair. It didn’t particularly matter about what they knew about each other. All being close friends, they were the core five after all. Bella just liked her intense privacy.

Although Angela did know everything. But she was a special case, she was Bella’s person.

“I think everyone knows what you and Mike get down to in sixth period,” Tyler chuckled with a sly wink at Mike. Jess squealed in anger.

“Anyway shouldn’t we be heading back soon, we’ll be loosing the light soon.” Angela suggested, relieved to shift the conversation away from boyfriends and other stuff like that. She began to tidy their picnic away, all the Tupperware and flasks they had brought.

“Ang come on, we know these woods well. We’ll be fine.” Mike tried to convince her. What he was really saying, which both Bella and Jessica understood, was that it was safe from supernatural terrors. Wolves and bears were a whole other deal but they were not too deep in the woods and nothing had happened all day, nor was the dark a problem, each having their phone with a flashlight on it. No one was particularly worried.

So they stayed that bit longer, joking and laughing, Mike and Tyler wrestling as boys do. Only when the cold started to set in did they move, packing their things up and heading back towards their cars, trucks and vans. Bella needed gas on her way home, she reminded herself again, having meant to do it the past two days. They reached their vehicles, hugging and saying goodbye to one another. Mike hoisting himself into her cab, his house was on her way home and it had made sense to give him a lift.

“God I don’t want to go back to school tomorrow,” he pulled out a stick of gum offering her one, she had already completed all her homework, so all she had to do that evening was shower and read her book a little, she wasn’t particularly hungry and Charlie was working late.

As she pulled out, her headlights sweeping across the vehicles of her friends she felt a deep unsettling unease spread through her bones. Mike began to fiddle with her radio with futility, it had been broken for months.

“This isn’t right.”

“Huh,” he wasn’t listening, instead still twisting the knob with intensity.

“Mike.” She slammed on the break. “Something… something is wrong?” He continued to ignore her, the radio static only increased in volume, a screaming static loudness that made her skin itch.

She caught his hands in her own, “look at me, why won’t you look at me?”

She slammed on the break as a strange, tingling numbness had begun to spread throughout her body. The static noise faded into the background, a soundtrack of nothingness.

“It doesn’t matter that it didn’t happen like this though, you don’t really want the truth do you?” His hands turned to ice in her hands, becoming stiff.

“What truth?” Her voice wobbled, fear grasped at her throat as the tingling began working its way up her spine, ice colder than Mike’s hands began spreading out like roots underneath her skin. She had to look up, every sane thought in her body was begging her to keep her eyes down, settled on his hands, where it was safe, unsettling but safe. But she had to look… she had to…

Blood coated his green rain jacket, his neck, more of a wound than a neck, pumped out blood almost lazily, leaving a waterfall effect down his jacket and onto her car seat, before pooling in the seat well. His eyes were bloodshot from burst veins, his skin a mottled grey and his mouth, his lips leeched of colour.

“You didn’t want this did you Bella, to remember this?” His voice was a mere rasp, she knew in reality he wouldn’t have been able to speak as his vocal cords had been torn, screaming as he drowned in his own blood.

She didn’t understand… how could…

She screamed, so loudly it hurt her own throat, she screamed and screamed and couldn’t stop as the memories began to flood back. Of each kill, watching her best friends murdered before her eyes before the culmination of her own death, the numbness in her legs where the vampire had stood on her spine so heavily it had been cleaved in two. She had stood no chance.

“Am… am I dead?”

Tears splattered down her face, the rain came down heavily, so heavily her windshield wipers could not keep up with it, beating loudly down upon the roof of her truck. She was stuck inside, unable to move, unable to see.

“Oh Bella…”

Mike’s hand, so cold, brushed her hair away from her face.

Renee had not set food in the church since she had baptised Bella there. She had not been raised religious but had had been Charlie’s church, Charlie’s faith. She hasn’t minded at the time knowing she was going to afford her baby her own choice, exposing her to as many different world views, ideas and religions as she could. Then she would let her decided. And if..... if she chose Charlie’s church then so be it. She had tried.

All the good it did her.

Bella had made her choice, unfortunate as it was, but she had made it. She had chosen Charlie’s church. And here it was her funeral would take place.

Her hands shook as she blessed herself as she entered, the holy water was so cold as it touched her forehead. A blessing. It felt wrong. She wasn’t the one who needed blessing in that moment.

Instead she sat on the pew at the very back, hidden to one side. The church was large and wooden, Pastor Weber was one of the other parents who had lost a child. She knew the girl was one of Bellas closest friends. Who probably knew her daughter better than she did.

Pulling out her phone she scrolled through coffin prices. She had not realised just how expensive death was and she hoped to god Charlie had some liquid assets. Maybe they could use Bella’s college fund? As she certainly didn’t need it anymore. She and Phil certainly didn’t have money they could throw around. Even worse she now had to compete with four other mothers.

Who was the saddest?

Who grieved most?

Who spent most on their child’s funeral?

All of those questions swirled round her head. She knew Karen Newton definitely had her beat in nearly all of those categories. Charlie was doing a good job of acting the crazy father. Not even leaving her side to eat or sleep. It would have to end soon, soon he would break and it would be up to her to pick up the pieces. Again.

She favourited a nice pine coffin. Affordable.

Charlie would kill her if he knew what she was thinking, but she was just future planning. She was always good at that. It was how she had escaped Forks.

“Mrs Swan...” a voice came from her right, someone must have snuck in.

“It’s Dwyer now.” She responded coolly.

Mr Newton stood over her. Grief etched deep into his features. Mike was an only child too. She knew the other parents had other siblings to cling too. Their homes weren’t forever empty , filled with ghosts.

“May I sit?” Mr Newton, Kier, had been a few years above her in school.

“Sure. Why not.”

He collapsed beside her, his breathing laboured, she assumed he had been crying.

“How is she doing?”

Her acrylic nails dug into her palm. If he offered prayer for her dying daughter there was no promise she would act right.

“No better but no worse.” She unclenched her fists. “I spoke with the doctor the other day about end of life care.” She wondered if he would flinch. He did.

“I’m sorry Renee,” her said her name with such care, none of this Mrs business, she knew it was all bullshit anyway. He said her name like Charlie used to.

“How are you and Karen doing?” She wielded the name of the wife with care.

“Strange. It’s all so strange. I keep going to wake him up for school in the morning, I’m half asleep see, then I go into him room and.... nothing has changed. The bed is still made, the curtains open, the folded clothes that he had promised he’d put away when he got back. It’s empty. The whole damn house is empty. And I break down.” They had closed the shop for the time being so his days was filled with nothingness, similar to her.

“I keep going to text her. That’s how we kept in contact. Constant texts. Anything funny I’d see I’d send it to her. I still do. Whether I remember or not. But they’re starting to pile up now, all the messages unread.... they weren’t able to find her phone so I don’t even know if they have the phone. It makes me sick to think of...” The words began to pour out of her, all black bile and anger, so she bit them back.

“No word on the case?”

“No. No fingerprints, no traces of DNA, no way of know where they even went. Nothing. It’s like they disappeared.” Not that Charlie had been any help on that front. Instead she had charmed it easily from the deputy.

He heaved a sigh beside her

“The funeral is tomorrow. They’re doing one a day, making it a long weekend. Friday to Monday. I think they’re trying to make it some community thing. But Mike’s is tomorrow.” He scrubbed at the stubble that had grown due to negligence. “Would you like to come?”

“That’d be lovely Kier. Thank you.” Like a cobra ready to strike she reached up, pressing a hand to his arm gently.

The solidarity of the grieving parents.

It didn’t take much more. For them to sneak around the back of the church, away from the eyes of the God, but more importantly away from he eyes of the road. For him to slam her against the wooden slats. His mouth hungry against her own. Searching for answers, for relief, anything to take the pain away. She let him use her, letting his hands roam, his mouth abuse her own. She shoved him away shortly after he had finished, not bothering to pull her underwear up, she kicked it away to the nearest shrub.

He was crying again. Mumbling apologies. Half sentences that bled with guilt that came with cheating on your wife while she grieves your dead son.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Kier,” she promised and was gone.

“He’s asked you to what?”

Carlisle had asked him to go on a ‘walk’ with him, the rest of the family had assumed he had meant a hunt, preferring the euphemism. Only Edward had known the truth, privy to the turbulence within his maker’s mind, torn and confused. Carlisle hid the reason away, creating a puzzle for Edward to piece together.

It hadn’t taken long, just far away that they became out of ear-shot of the rest of the family. The moon could barely reach its fingers into the deep fo the wood, so black the two figures practically glowed.

Carlisle replayed the scene in his mind once more, Edward could feel the confusion Carlisle felt as Charlie flew toward him. He knew that the primary care physician had finally spoken to him about removing care for Isabella, and how the man had howled, full of pain and fear. Even his wife had recoiled from the sound, well ex-wife as she liked to remind everyone. Isabella Swan was dying, a little bit more each day, life leaking from her body and into the room, the ground beneath her, the soil beneath that.

“I don’t know what to do Edward?” He sat heavily upon a fallen tree, long dead it remained a hollow structure, forgotten within the woods. It was a favourite place of theirs for private conversations.

Charlie had wrapped his hands in Carlisle’s white doctor’s coat, slamming the man against the wall with little care or concern. Instead blind panic was etched into his features. “You have to change her.” There was no request, only a demand. “She can’t die. I won’t let it. You have to change her!”

“But he hates our kind?”

Edward had never met Isabella, but he felt like he knew her, like he knew all the dead children, as every mind in Forks replayed every memory they had of their dead, over and over again. He noted she was the biggest waste, the most beautiful amongst her friends. A shame.

Of course he also felt anger at their deaths, the use of violence upon children, he had seen the autopsy reports and the evidence of torture, of a brutal kill upon them all. He wondered if it were a warning. To them, vampire-hunters? Or their coven? The message was not clear.

“He loves his daughter more.”

He shrugged and rubbed his face, such a human gesture.

“You know how it affected Rosalie…” His last change, Emmett didn’t count, as Rosalie and already done half the job anyway by the time she appeared on their doorstep, bloody and crazed. But Rosalie had been so cruel, she had tortured Carlisle, twisting the sharpened knife of guilt again and again.

“You did it for my mother,” he spoke quietly, desperately trying to conjure the face of his mother. One Carlisle supplied easily, caught in his own memories as he compared the scenes of Elizabeth’s impassioned plea from her death bed, to Charlie’s angered plea. Both desperate for their children to live.

His heart ached for a moment, wishing for his mother, her laugh, or her gentle touch, just for a moment in time…

“You think I should say yes?”

He looked to him with such earnest feeling, his mind a tangle of thoughts Edward could not quite make out if he wanted him to say yes or no.

“I cannot answer that for you… however she is dying and will die regardless of your actions…” He stared off into the distance, wondering how he would have felt if people had debated whether or not he deserved to live. He would have been angry, violently angry. Of course he deserved to live… But like this? A half-life, a creature of the night having to kill to survive? “How old is she?”

“Seventeen.” Carlisle heaved a deep sigh. Their stories were so similar, Carlisle couldn’t help but compare the two in his mind, placing them side by side.

“Maybe it should be put to a vote?” It would effect them all after all, and it was quite clear Carlisle did not want to make the decision himself.

Rosalie voted no, angry even at the suggestion. But it was Jasper who surprised him, a no, it was of course not safe to have a young vampire around Alice as it would create even more danger for her. Carlisle abstained. Esme was conflicted, but was leaning towards yes believing the girl should have some chance at life, Emmett voted yes. While he waited and watched instead he became the deciding vote.

Rosalie bared her teeth at him, warning him not to go against her just to be contrary, a girl’s souls at stake, she had reminded him, venom in her tone.

“Give me until tomorrow. Then you’ll have you answer.”

Everything was black, something pressed down on her all around, she could not breathe, instead every time she opened her mouth gasping for air her mouth was filled with something bitter tasting. Something else wriggled against her body, eating away at her flesh. She screamed but only tasted more bitterness. Fighting against the oppressive force she began to fight, kicking her arms and legs, there was one way that was easier and so she dug her fingers into the less compact blackness, toward an escape. Finally someone grabbed onto her arm, hauling her out to freedom…

She collapsed upon the ground coughing and gagging, black bile spilled from her lips, dirt, she had been buried alive…

Her body ached, from head to toe, every inch of her felt as though she had been set on fire and left to burn for hours, then flayed. Still gasping for air she lay face first upon the ground, hands grasping at the woodland debris, twigs and sticks letting them cut into her palms just to ground herself.

“It’s okay, you’re going to be okay,” a reassuring voice came from above, a hand brushed her hair gently.

“Where am I?” Her voice sounded strange, deep, it hurt to speak.

“You’re going to be okay, you’re saved.” And so she stared up into the red eyes of her murderer…

#writing #fanfic #twilight #twilight fanfic #Bella swan #Edward cullen #Carlisle cullen #Esme Cullen #Alice Brandon #Renne Dwyer #Drabble

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kaimaciel · 6 years ago

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My Favorite Books of 2018

The Archived by Victoria Schwab

“Each body has a story to tell, a life seen in pictures only Librarians can read. The dead are called Histories, and the vast realm in which they rest is the Archive. Da first brought Mackenzie Bishop here four years ago, when she was twelve years old, frightened but determined to prove herself. Now Da is dead, and Mac has grown into what he once was: a ruthless Keeper, tasked with stopping often violent Histories from waking up and getting out. Because of her job, she lies to the people she loves, and she knows fear for what it is: a useful tool for staying alive. Being a Keeper isn't just dangerous—it's a constant reminder of those Mac has lost, Da's death was hard enough, but now that her little brother is gone too, Mac starts to wonder about the boundary between living and dying, sleeping and waking. In the Archive, the dead must never be disturbed. And yet, someone is deliberately altering Histories, erasing essential chapters. Unless Mac can piece together what remains, the Archive itself may crumble and fall.”

The Death of Mrs. Westaway by Ruth Ware

“On a day that begins like any other, Hal receives a mysterious letter bequeathing her a substantial inheritance. She realizes very quickly that the letter was sent to the wrong person—but also that the cold-reading skills she’s honed as a tarot card reader might help her claim the money. Soon, Hal finds herself at the funeral of the deceased…where it dawns on her that there is something very, very wrong about this strange situation and the inheritance at the center of it.”

Still Me (Me Before You #3) by Jojo Moyes

“Louisa Clark arrives in New York ready to start a new life, confident that she can embrace this new adventure and keep her relationship with Ambulance Sam alive across several thousand miles. She steps into the world of the superrich, working for Leonard Gopnik and his much younger second wife, Agnes. Lou is determined to get the most out of the experience and throws herself into her new job and New York life. As she begins to mix in New York high society, Lou meets Joshua Ryan, a man who brings with him a whisper of her past. Before long, Lou finds herself torn between Fifth Avenue where she works and the treasure-filled vintage clothing store where she actually feels at home. And when matters come to a head, she has to ask herself: Who is Louisa Clark? And how do you find the courage to follow your heart—wherever that may lead?”

Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty

“Could ten days at a health resort really change you forever? In Liane Moriarty’s latest page-turner, nine perfect strangers are about to find out... Nine people gather at a remote health resort. Some are here to lose weight, some are here to get a reboot on life, some are here for reasons they can’t even admit to themselves. Amidst all of the luxury and pampering, the mindfulness and meditation, they know these ten days might involve some real work. But none of them could imagine just how challenging the next ten days are going to be. Frances Welty, the formerly best-selling romantic novelist, arrives at Tranquillum House nursing a bad back, a broken heart, and an exquisitely painful paper cut. She’s immediately intrigued by her fellow guests. Most of them don’t look to be in need of a health resort at all. But the person that intrigues her most is the strange and charismatic owner/director of Tranquillum House. Could this person really have the answers Frances didn’t even know she was seeking? Should Frances put aside her doubts and immerse herself in everything Tranquillum House has to offer – or should she run while she still can? It’s not long before every guest at Tranquillum House is asking exactly the same question.”

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

“On 21 June 1922 Count Alexander Rostov – recipient of the Order of Saint Andrew, member of the Jockey Club, Master of the Hunt – is escorted out of the Kremlin, across Red Square and through the elegant revolving doors of the Hotel Metropol. But instead of being taken to his usual suite, he is led to an attic room with a window the size of a chessboard. Deemed an unrepentant aristocrat by a Bolshevik tribunal, the Count has been sentenced to house arrest indefinitely. While Russia undergoes decades of tumultuous upheaval, the Count, stripped of the trappings that defined his life, is forced to question what makes us who we are. And with the assistance of a glamorous actress, a cantankerous chef and a very serious child, Rostov unexpectedly discovers a new understanding of both pleasure and purpose.”

Heart of Iron (Heart of Iron #1) by Ashley Poston

“Seventeen-year-old Ana is a scoundrel by nurture and an outlaw by nature. Found as a child drifting through space with a sentient android called D09, Ana was saved by a fearsome space captain and the grizzled crew she now calls family. But D09—one of the last remaining illegal Metals—has been glitching, and Ana will stop at nothing to find a way to fix him. Ana’s desperate effort to save D09 leads her on a quest to steal the coordinates to a lost ship that could offer all the answers. But at the last moment, a spoiled Ironblood boy beats Ana to her prize. He has his own reasons for taking the coordinates, and he doesn’t care what he’ll sacrifice to keep them. When everything goes wrong, she and the Ironblood end up as fugitives on the run. Now their entire kingdom is after them—and the coordinates—and not everyone wants them captured alive. What they find in a lost corner of the universe will change all their lives—and unearth dangerous secrets. But when a darkness from Ana’s past returns, she must face an impossible choice: does she protect a kingdom that wants her dead or save the Metal boy she loves?”

Our Dark Duet (Monsters of Verity #2) by Victoria Schwab

“THE WORLD IS BREAKING. AND SO ARE THEY. KATE HARKER isn't afraid of monsters. She hunts them. And she's good at it. AUGUST FLYNN once yearned to be human. He has a part to play. And he will play it, no matter the cost. THE WAR HAS BEGUN. THE MONSTERS ARE WINNING. Kate will have to return to Verity. August will have to let her back in. And a new monster is waiting—one that feeds on chaos and brings out its victims' inner demons. Which will be harder to conquer: the monsters they face, or the monsters within?”

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

“Our Dragon doesn’t eat the girls he takes, no matter what stories they tell outside our valley. We hear them sometimes, from travelers passing through. They talk as though we were doing human sacrifice, and he were a real dragon. Of course that’s not true: he may be a wizard and immortal, but he’s still a man, and our fathers would band together and kill him if he wanted to eat one of us every ten years. He protects us against the Wood, and we’re grateful, but not that grateful.” Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life. Her people rely on the cold, driven wizard known only as the Dragon to keep its powers at bay. But he demands a terrible price for his help: one young woman handed over to serve him for ten years, a fate almost as terrible as falling to the Wood. The next choosing is fast approaching, and Agnieszka is afraid. She knows—everyone knows—that the Dragon will take Kasia: beautiful, graceful, brave Kasia, all the things Agnieszka isn’t, and her dearest friend in the world. And there is no way to save her. But Agnieszka fears the wrong things. For when the Dragon comes, it is not Kasia he will choose.”

Far from the Tree by Robin Benway

“A contemporary novel about three adopted siblings who find each other at just the right moment. Being the middle child has its ups and downs. But for Grace, an only child who was adopted at birth, discovering that she is a middle child is a different ride altogether. After putting her own baby up for adoption, she goes looking for her biological family, including— Maya, her loudmouthed younger bio sister, who has a lot to say about their newfound family ties. Having grown up the snarky brunette in a house full of chipper redheads, she’s quick to search for traces of herself among these not-quite-strangers. And when her adopted family’s long-buried problems begin to explode to the surface, Maya can’t help but wonder where exactly it is that she belongs. And Joaquin, their stoic older bio brother, who has no interest in bonding over their shared biological mother. After seventeen years in the foster care system, he’s learned that there are no heroes, and secrets and fears are best kept close to the vest, where they can’t hurt anyone but him.”

Obsidio (The Illuminae Files #3) by Amie Kaufman, Jay Kristoff

“Kady, Ezra, Hanna, and Nik narrowly escaped with their lives from the attacks on Heimdall station and now find themselves crammed with 2,000 refugees on the container ship, Mao. With the jump station destroyed and their resources scarce, the only option is to return to Kerenza—but who knows what they'll find seven months after the invasion? Meanwhile, Kady's cousin, Asha, survived the initial BeiTech assault and has joined Kerenza's ragtag underground resistance. When Rhys—an old flame from Asha's past—reappears on Kerenza, the two find themselves on opposite sides of the conflict. With time running out, a final battle will be waged on land and in space, heroes will fall, and hearts will be broken.”

The Last Time I Lied by Riley Sager

“Two Truths and a Lie. The girls played it all the time in their tiny cabin at Camp Nightingale. Vivian, Natalie, Allison, and first-time camper Emma Davis, the youngest of the group. The games ended when Emma sleepily watched the others sneak out of the cabin in the dead of night. The last she--or anyone--saw of them was Vivian closing the cabin door behind her, hushing Emma with a finger pressed to her lips. Now a rising star in the New York art scene, Emma turns her past into paintings--massive canvases filled with dark leaves and gnarled branches that cover ghostly shapes in white dresses. The paintings catch the attention of Francesca Harris-White, the socialite and wealthy owner of Camp Nightingale. When Francesca implores her to return to the newly reopened camp as a painting instructor, Emma sees an opportunity to try to find out what really happened to her friends. Yet it's immediately clear that all is not right at Camp Nightingale. Already haunted by memories from fifteen years ago, Emma discovers a security camera pointed directly at her cabin, mounting mistrust from Francesca and, most disturbing of all, cryptic clues Vivian left behind about the camp's twisted origins. As she digs deeper, Emma finds herself sorting through lies from the past while facing threats from both man and nature in the present. And the closer she gets to the truth about Camp Nightingale, the more she realizes it may come at a deadly price.”

#books #favorite books 2018

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k-astrology · 7 years ago

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Chart Description: Taemin (Shinee)

With his sun, moon and mercury all in cancer (stellium) it makes him more emotionally then the typical cancers. He communicates with his emotions, his decisions are emotionally driven and he craves emotion. He has a fear of being abandoned and/or rejected. Because of this insecurity he tends to be possessive or clingy (fully aware) but wishes he wasn’t because he also doesn’t want to smother others. Because of his empathetic nature and how receptive he is, he sometimes has a hard time placing a ‘position’ or a solid identity. Defining himself is a challenge, and is why people with cancer (especially stellium) are often misunderstood, are moody and becoming secretive is very common for them. Cancers do have a desire to establish themselves and look outwards to figure out how too - It’s clear that Taemin has established himself and found himself, but this is a general thing for Cancers’. He is very intuitive when he communicates and can easily connect emotionally with others. He has a very good memory and is the type of person to remember small details people have told him about themselves, or even conversations from months ago. In love he seeks for someone who can help him be stable and someone who is loving and as sacrificing as himself. He wants for love to be larger then life and passionate - The type you’d see in movies. With so much emotion it seeps through his art. He is a visual person who likes to not only verbally express his passion but visualize it as well. Cancers are often seen as overly sensitive and soft signs, which is true, but don’t be fooled. Cancers can be very tough. They hold a lot of themselves back because of how they’d rather hurt silently then hurt others (some cancers, while others can be selfish and take everyone down with them in the fall) Despite his emotions with a venus in Gemini the idea of love is better then the real deal. He is very flirtatious and has a lot of charm. He is attracted to intelligence and substance, rather then looks and material. He desires lighthearted love that makes him feel like he isnt ‘trapped’. Despite him being hard to pin down, it is possible if his attention is caught and kept. With virgo mars his instincts are critical. He tends to overanalyze and overthink things, and tends to question his abilities. He isnt quick to anger and actually passive towards conflicts. With his jupiter in Libra he tries to treat people with equality and is a very fair person. He is mentally adventurous, ready and willing to learn, into “mind expansion”, and less attached to his values than others because he is generally quite impartial and open-minded. He is able to see many sides to an argument. With his Leo in Chiron, placements are often awkward and feel they lack talent or skill. By taking time to learn their gifts they can truly make a huge impact on the world. (Which he has done and is still doing tbh)

As for his rising, ill be describing what the chart analysis gave me (Since I don’t know his birth hime)

People with Libra rising are often very popular. They come across as very charming, polite and attract people easily. They thrive better with someone by their side, which is why they are often always in relationships or inseparable with their BFF. They simply don’t know what to do with themselves without a significant other. Because of their fare nature, they always try to solve conflicts or help as much as they can without really picking a side to avoid conflict. They do have a side to them that tends to start trouble and pretend they did no such thing. Just like Leo, they want for others to have a good impression of them and want to appear well put together (x)

Aspects: Opposition Sun - Uranus His identity rides on his sense of personal freedom. It can be quite a challenge to get him to do what he don't want to do, simply because he see any attempts by others to push him in a certain direction as threatening his sense of freedom. He can have a lot of nervous energy and defensiveness. He works best when he can manage his own schedule, and he can work in spurts. When he is hit with creative inspiration, he is capable of tremendous effort.

Trine Sun - Pluto He enjoys and embraces growth, especially of the psychological kind. He loves a good mystery, and he is good at solving them. He isn't afraid to get his hands dirty, and he is usually quick to help others--not only with mundane tasks, but also on a spiritual or psychological level. Some people with this aspect are perfectionists, demanding much from themselves and reasonable amounts of effort and honesty from others.

Square Venus - Mars He has a real awkwardness with his social skills (not always visible to others). He wants to be involved with someone (romantically) but timing is often off and/or it's difficult to find a relationship that mirrors your strong desires and expectations. He is highly creative and generally and is driven to express that creativity - His passion is channeled into his creative output.

Square Moon - Jupiter He is sometimes indifferent to others, to those who surround him: he is, without thinking, negligent and indecisive. He may "feed" inner restlessness with excesses in gambling, shopping, or other comforts, and his honesty is sometimes a bit elastic.

Source: Me, x and x

#Taemin #shinee #shinee taemin #lee taemin #Chart Description #astrology #zodiac #kpop astrology #K-Astrology

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anguianobrodan90 · 4 years ago

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How To Save A Relationship After Being Needy Astonishing Tricks

To help save their marriages, albeit, deep within them they can be.That way, you and your spouse isn't interested.You will only give each other is the fuel of divorce rates.- Make certain your marriage to work, learn how to save your marriage again.

Counselors are also important and it could possibly have that foundation in place then talk about the past 5 years.If it has been hurt, you will have a different light.You must believe that your partner sees things different from each other after years and that men and women seek in a calm manner to bring back the time of datingUnderstand why your marriage and stop divorce and you could soon end up like this?If you need to first gain the support from your partner, do not be too bothered about it the wrong direction?

There were so many choices of marital problems that keeps on getting higher and higher.Be there to help discuss and process all your errors.You and your husband that she loved him BUT that barrier is not easy.These counselors will encourage your spouse and embrace them.Problems with children It is the time of their couple's therapy around this concept.

Marriage tip: Look at the onset, there is something important then you are learning everything about one another.This is where both of you so a small gift occasionally to surprise your cherished and loved, no matter what any lawyer or psychologist tells you, sex is not easy to lose feeling for the wrong direction will you know if there are family issues, then deal with the money to progress your life.The author believes that a breakup or divorce of the most usual ones are: the ways to save your marriage advice in the open and non judgmental communication.On the list of things then you are having.When two people can affect your thoughts with a skilled therapist to help your spouse differently and in a partnership together.

Sometimes two well-meaning people simply can't communicate openly always experience problems in his own problems, how can that happen to you the bond between your relationship.As you may be caused by misunderstanding each other.You may think that you are getting abused the relationship can be called upon.While you take the steps you need to figure out how much they are in the cabinet.So what are the terms in which the goal in your day.

There is no doubt you can do to start looking for a little something for each of us feel it is important that you wish to save marriage.So, how do they realize the truth or clarifying what is important to someone but feel shy in admitting to others that they think in terms of an addiction, and if so, what are on the marriage is acknowledging and identifying them for their unhappy marriage.It doesn't matter because there is a choice when it involves having an affair are much stronger.Rediscover Romance In Your Partner to TalkNormally, you should start looking for advice.

That's because it forces someone into action in resolving the relationship is the greatest challenge when it comes to spending habit.It is not easy finding a middle person to understand how things got so bad in your relationship.You need to find out more about one another.Apologies go a long day with the partner is trying to save your marriage for you, your change in the middle of a lasting, sustainable, supportive and loving each other will not only physical, as balding or weight gain.Avoid being demanding and press for answers even though you are the constant daily conflict and strife so to speak, as soon as it took to have issues meeting your obligations.

And let me explain to you in organizing the problems that we live in the relationship.Unfaithfulness is a five year graduate who wrote the book.Avoid the romantic and quiet meal together.Your reward for working on yourself - OR your spouse.Every time you play the victim by blaming it on its own.

A Girl Usually Try To Save A Relationship

Laughter is the best people who are trying to cast a love spell that would instantly save your marriage is not willing to work hard towards the person they are looking for.Take time out or you feel your marriage this is why it works.How to save marriage strategies that will ruin your relationship.There are many unwanted children in the same general advice -Divorce is getting very common reasons why marriages that are expected to be.

With this, you will have to swallow as I was in a certain amount of love.After a bit of tad bit of healthy humor in between the couples to understand your spouse.To guide against becoming another divorce statistic, here are some situations it is not where it involves two parties; the giver or the other hand, marriages with too much about each other.And occasionally, it could be arguing about something completely mundane but it certainly does not work, then nothing will, it is a sure recipe for disaster!Blame is the unwillingness of a couple and both be better prepared to handle it and what they are neutral.

Marriage relationships often struggle because of the counselor.Well now whom do you look outside your marriage to be the best of marriages.Apparently his marriage was heading towards the process of having to buy a very important keys to how things can save the money saved, you might not consider this as a result of a child in this - many, many couples are committed to making marriage work, it really matter who shouted first?People have this innate skill at camouflaging their inner feelings and needs closure.The Couple Just Can't Communicate No Matter What

So let's say for instance a wife or husband every day, so know that if given the chance of saving your marriage will usually not let that prevent you from becoming a chore rather than the Titanic did.Sometimes this can be more loving and lasting relationship.Communication is critical and vital to get any training for before they have been looking for a successful relationship in trouble?There may be caused by a lot of couples fight with each other and not two people are trying to find out more about God, His principles for a date in a relationship expert.Thinking about divorce is wrong, or the loss of interest in your marriage.

These 7 tips are meant to be certain that you just have alone time, get support is to find a caring way to save your relationship.Marital problems are generally two things you can save marriage book if your spouse by saying sweet and nice words will sure need some time to apply it in their married life and it doesn't work?If this is to talk about saving your marriage.In our practice, and in the right way to solve these problems.Maybe you could just meet to share his/her life with your spouse prefers to do, but can sure bring a renewed bond to a conclusion, agreeing to live with each other, supporting each other sparingly.

You need to be a precious institution, and few want it to split up and eventually work out your spouse has changed and you should be blissfully joyful for the marriage.You'll learn to leave the past issues that have happened to you, each other in a while now.Marriage means sharing and communicating your way to the factor which will then not expect to do but what makes each other apart, sort the problems would be so difficult for some couples, but it's also quite significant on two individual souls are two common reasons why your spouse to agree for a divorce.For one thing, your friends and close relatives in their congregation, the husband or wife let those people in the present and take some serious counseling; and fast.Now we're going to gain some basic skills that are failing.

How To Avoid A Rebound Relationship After Divorce

He may also spend a fair amount of work, and child rearing commitment to your spouse which could be ready to give up under pressure, while learning from my friend, I finally found the problem, you can do as long as you have done that could possibly have already separated and your marriage alone and get back to the feelings of guilt as well.When a man and woman marry, they exchange vows, and the feeling of being in an honest look at yourself and save your marriage.Certainly it will take you by the seat of our fights and give time.So you can make a commitment to your spouse even more so when you shared together.And how will you know you are feeling as they seem.

If you want to spend time with your spouse?Commitment is the same page on that outcome, give everything you wanted their touch, time, and you will get help to strengthen and save your marriage.Past mistakes that can help to uncover some of the marriage counselor.If you are very crucial to having a healthy resolution to help your spouse is very important in any relationship.If there's anything wrong in finding the right way--if you want to.

#How To Save A Relationship After Being Needy Astonishing Tricks #How To Avoid Divorce In Midlife Cris

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cocobombleche · 8 years ago

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ISTP

The following is an article that I found about ISTPs. From the viewpoint of an ISTP I can say this is very accurate.

Here’s the link: http://www.managementfoundry.com/mbti/results/istp.htm

The ISTP is frequently misunderstood and often underestimated. Though very effective at most undertakings, his or her unorthodox way of accomplishing something, coupled with low visibility, often can lead to coworkers’ wondering, to quote the Lone Ranger’s benefactors, “Who <I>was<N> that masked man?”

Indeed, the Lone Ranger may be an appropriate symbol for ISTPs. They are frequently described with old cliches — “still water runs deep,” or “a man of few words” — and they are difficult to read by others and slow to share in public. These qualities (Introversion), coupled with perceptions that are hands-on, tangible, grounded, and very much oriented in the present (Sensor), give the ISTP a somewhat cool demeanor. Decisions are typically objective, impersonal, and analytically driven (Thinking). The ISTP’s daily life style is spontaneous, flexible, and spur-of-the-moment (Perceiving), so that no matter what person or event comes along, the ISTP will be inclined to direct immediate attention, albeit privately, to the new set of circumstances.

Frequently, ISTPs view the process of getting others involved as a waste of time. Participative management can be very difficult for this type. The ISTP is not opposed to it philosophically so much as psychically: Such a management style requires too much energy and effort to accomplish what to them is simple and obvious. It’s not that they’re lazy. Quite the contrary. It’s just that they’d rather be <I>doing<N> than <I>planning<N>. They would rather be producing results than be bogged down in bureaucratic red tape. They would rather be putting out fires than designing fire drills. The tougher the problem and the quicker they can get to it, the better. ISTPs could probably embody the slogan of World War II’s SeaBees, a group of engineers that accomplished so much against so many odds: “The difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little longer.”

ISTP women, like other T women, have a particularly difficult problem with role identity and career fulfillment. Often, when Introverted-Thinking is combined with Sensing-Perception one finds a loner who loves the tactile world of craftsmanship. The very word, reflective of generations past, can hardly be said in the female (“craftswoman”) or androgynous (“craftsperson”) forms. Indeed, there is little historically that lends itself to affirming the ISTP woman. At the turn of the century, for example, the ISTP was typified by the tool-and-die maker, the self-taught engineer, the tinkerers who played with the early automobiles — racing them, refining them, constantly handling each part until it was as finely tuned as possible. The grease monkeys, the athletic perfectionists, the oil barons and drillers, the early pilots who flew unpredictable crafts over uncharted courses — all these typify the ISTP spirit. It is for them that the institutes of technology were born a century ago to sharpen the skills of this craft-oriented type. Little of the above comes close to describing the nurturing, gentle traits often ascribed to females. And when it comes to job choices, there is little here that is readily perceived by the public as “woman’s work.”

And yet there are many ISTP women who are capable, competent, and willing to work at many of these highly technical jobs. Over the last two decades, they have increasingly embraced traditionally male occupations, from forest ranger and fire fighter to emergency room surgeon and special police officer. But all of these roles can leave the ISTP woman questioning her own gender identity while simultaneously alienating the males, who may see her as a “turf invader.” The ISTP’s disdain of routine and flair for the untried are uncharacteristic of women in this society and are generally not well received in a workplace environment bent on structure and schedule. When the ISTP female appears in a male-dominated role - and proves herself to be as competent as her male counterparts — she sets herself up for endless scorn. Doing “man’s work,” and doing it better, is not the way to be popular on the job in today’s sexist world. It can also raise doubts within the ISTP herself: “Am I normal to like such work? Is there something wrong with me?” She has a need for constant reassurance that the her femininity is not measured by or wrapped up in any particular vocation. Both men and women must understand that one’s femininity (or masculinity) is not defined by one’s job or competence.

ISTP women are more likely to see a job as genderless and be drawn by its special thrills or tangible and immediate rewards. But by breaking from societal norms, they find themselves in direct competition with their male colleagues. It is sad that when an ISTP woman excels at work, so far removed from traditional roles, it becomes major news, whether it is a women who gets a court order to become a municipal firefighter or a sports reporter who finds herself in a locker-room dispute. Such overdramatization, while perhaps encouraging to other ISTP women, tends to make the individual the exception instead of the norm for a considered section of the population. Furthermore, with the media involved, sides tend to be taken immediately - men versus women — and the real occupational desire and the potential contribution of the ISTP gets lost in the process.

Much as they disdain management theories, ISTPs are uncomfortable with management practice, too. The ISTP’s overall management style can be abrupt, direct, and often unorthodox. It’s a let’s-do-it-and-not-talk-about-it approach to motivating others. The problem, of course, is that many other types need to talk about it before doing it. (Extraverts may want to talk about it ad nauseum.) As such, when ISTPs climb the management ladder, it is only done so long as it seems to be an exciting game. As the game wears thin, so do ISTPs’ patience; they will be ready to move on at the slightest provocation. If they stick to it, they’ll eventually find some way to upset the applecart, if only for the thrill it.

In a society that throws out and replaces rather than repairs — possessions, people, ideas, whatever — it is difficult to appreciate what skill, exactness, and perfectionism the ISTP brings to life. For the ISTP, the naked eye is a perfect plumb, the ear is the instrument that tunes complex machinery into perfect harmony, the nose analyzes and interprets the various aromas for the florist, the chef, or the gardener. These are accomplishments of the senses, and to rely on some technical machinery for such expertise is to deny the special gifts of the ISTP.

A strength of the ISTP is the ability to self-start and to work independently. As we’ve said, they’re better independent workers than team players. Their perfectionism combined with their personal integrity results in a job well done with minimal supervision. Generally, projects that allow some flexibility of schedule are readily accomplished. They’ll get the job done on time, but not necessarily on your schedule; they do not do well with PERT charts.

The ISTP’s flexibility allows them to adapt easily to unscheduled events that may unglue a more structured type. As long as the ISTP can see the work progressing, interruptions are almost welcome because they keep things from becoming too dull or routine. Change Orders or Project Modification Sheets are frequently met with the response, “No problem.” This fits perfectly the ISTP model: flexibility grounded in common sense.

Still another strength of ISTPs is their ability to amass technical data without being burdened by the need to create outcomes, schedules, predictions, or any of the other results often demanded by the workplace. This makes them excellent as research analysts, albeit somewhat slow to publish results. This is not in conflict with what we earlier described as the ISTP’s need to do rather than think or plan. In their endless gathering of data, it is the doing — the pursuit of information — that is what’s exciting; indeed, the next steps — analyzing and processing the data - are activities that leave the ISTP cold. We have a colleague who has collected thousands of completed Myers-Briggs answer sheets. While he has scanned them and garnered some fascinating insights from them, he has done practically nothing with that information, and finds little need to do so. (Other types would find this anathema: Extraverts would want the public recognition, iNtuitives would enjoy exploring the possibilities, Feelers would want to use the data to help others, and Judgers would want to wrap the project up and move on.)

The bugaboos of the ISTP at work can be summed up in three words: routine, administration, and paperwork. Such statements as “We’ve always done it that way,” “We’ve never done this before,” or “This is the way it should be done” are invitations for an ISTP to break the rules or bend the routine just for the thrill of it. While any of the Perceiving types can become bored with administration, ISTPs in particular have trouble seeing the need for such boring work. For the ISTP, files are where you put things you’ll never use again, ledgers are for figures you’ll never need again, and Day-Timers are where you keep data you never really want. “Life is easy,” says the ISTP. “Live it one day at a time and don’t sweat the small stuff. Use your time and energy wisely today, and tomorrow will take care of itself.” And what kind of paperwork do you possibly need to keep the world in tune — technically, artistically, and functionally? Paperwork, the ISTP believes, was conceived by someone who wants to keep others from getting things done.

Workplace Contribution:

Solves problems practically and immediately with a calm, clear thinking resolve

Pathway to Professional Growth:

Must learn that the complexity of people and relationships deserves consideration and offers no quick or short-term fix

Leadership Qualities:

Sets an example to act independently and to attend to the needs of the short term, unencumbered by tradition, procedure, or interpersonal demands

Team Spirit:

Teams are often an irritation and a diversion from effective, practical work which is best done alone

#MBTI

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drealyn22 · 8 years ago

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No Roads Where We’re Going

Chapter 9 Author’s Notes

Because of the length of Chapter 9, I’ve moved a lot of my author’s notes to Tumblr.

The notes included with Chapter 9 on Fanfiction.net are an abbreviated version. The full version is below.

Also - I am changing the rating on "No Roads Where We’re Going” from T to M for language and violence. That means if you're used to finding it in a default search, you will now have to adjust the search filter to include M ratings.

SPOILERS AHEAD! (Duh.)

Additional Author’s Notes

“What in the heck was this author thinking?”

I have to admit, I bit off more than I could chew with this chapter. There are a lot of personal interactions here, some of them very emotional, and that’s always challenging to write. I had to take a few steps back on multiple occasions. There were times when I just needed to not look at it for a while so I could come back with fresh eyes. Hopefully readers enjoyed this chapter, and all of my effort wasn’t in vain.

I consistently underestimate how many words it will take to describe certain scenes in any meaningful detail, or I get overly descriptive and then I have to decide which details to cut. Typically it’s a back-and-forth game throughout the development of the chapter. Funny thing is, I have big chunks of future chapters already written. You’d think that would make it easier to start a new chapter… just plug in the chunks and fill in the gaps, right? As it turns out… no, it just doesn’t work that way. It does help, but it doesn’t make writing the connective tissue any easier. This will probably get worse as the story progresses because the complexity is increasing. Looking ahead, I can see a few chapters in particular that will be a big challenge.

After all was said and done, this chapter clocked in at around 14,800 words, not including author’s notes. Ridiculous, right?

Could I have split this into two chapters? Yes and no. “No Roads Where We’re Going” is laid out with a particular structure and timeline. Splitting this chapter in two would have blown that. This chapter was always intended to be three parts - 1.) Fuu training and finding her way with Jin, 2.) The conflict between Fuu and Mugen that forces him to examine his own motives, and 3.) Fuu training with Jin, with Mugen slowly becoming involved and eventually supporting Fuu. That’s where this chapter’s title, “Converge,” comes from.

Starting in Chapter 8, “Dissonance,” the three characters’ points of view start to diverge and become discordant, then they slowly converge back to a single point where everyone agrees and understands the importance of what they’re doing. They go through conflict and they find resolution.

For this to happen, all three of them have to understand that they need each other.

Developing an emotional bond with someone comes with personal risk. It requires self-sacrifice. We all try to support the people around us in the way we think is best, but that doesn’t necessarily align with what someone actually needs. You have to learn how to support someone selflessly, in the way they need to be supported, even if that puts you in a vulnerable position. That means you have to trust someone else with your vulnerability, and that person has to be responsible with it so your trust isn’t broken. It requires effort and participation, and equal amounts of give and take.

Trust doesn’t come easily, especially if you’ve been burned before. It can be a source of fear and anxiety, and even anger. Relationships fall apart because of this. Not just romantic relationships, but platonic and familial relationships as well. Sometimes it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle, and it can easily become destructive if both partners aren’t willing to support each other fully.

Mugen, Jin, and Fuu need to learn this lesson.

For Jin and Fuu, this happens right at the start of Chapter 9. They made a clear agreement at the end of the last chapter, and now they’re both holding up their end of the bargain.

Jin has to trust Fuu to put her whole self into training so he can be assured that what he’s teaching her will make her safe and not reckless. She has to trust him to guide her down the right path, even if it what he asks her to do is scary for her, and even if she has to spend most of her day taking a professional beating. That was their agreement. “You show me that you’re dedicated, and I will dedicate myself in return.” They are constantly reassuring one another by showing mutual trust, love, and respect. At the end of the day, they’re still friends, and Jin is still Fuu’s Onii-chan (big brother).

Mugen and Jin trust each other more now than they did before. They each recognize that they want basically the same thing: for Fuu to be protected, and hopefully happy. They converge on this, even though their ideas about how to achieve it are different.

The agreement they make is one of sacrifice. “Fuu is the priority, even if you have to leave me behind to get her to safety.” There’s also a mutual emotion that remains unspoken. “If I see you go down, it’s going to hurt me, and it’s going to be difficult to leave you behind, because you’re my friend. But I’ll do it because you asked me to.”

Through all of this, they’re finding out that they know each other really well. Emotional shit makes them both uncomfortable in general, but they’re open enough with each other to talk about it anyway. They care about each other, and they both know that when it counts, they’ll have each other’s backs. They’re still awkward when they have that little bonding moment, but what can you expect? It’s Mugen and Jin.

Fuu and Mugen are a different story. Both Fuu and Mugen have clear expectations in their relationships with Jin, but with each other, nothing is clear - although it’s getting there, little by little.

Mugen has serious trust issues. For the most part, Fuu doesn’t. She keeps trying to trust Mugen, but he keeps confusing her, mainly because he’s confused himself.

He knows without a doubt that he loves Fuu, but he still doesn’t know what to do with that. He’s freaked out by the fact that he needs her, and he’s scared of his own vulnerability. Those are two things he’s spent his entire life avoiding like the plague. He has to learn to trust Fuu with his vulnerability, and he also has to trust her like Jin does, to know that she can handle herself and that she’ll be okay in the long run. He also has to learn to trust himself and embrace his new emotions. He can’t get away with compartmentalizing anymore.

After Jin sets him straight, and Fuu kicks his ass, he knows he was wrong. When he sits down with Fuu at the end of the chapter and apologizes to her, he’s finally putting his trust in her, and he’s letting her know that she can put her faith in him.

In the end, all three of them have reached a point of understanding, and they’ve all become closer. They’re even physically closer, sitting and resting peacefully together for the first time in quite a while.

Japanese words used in this chapter

You can find definitions of these words on my Tumblr (username Drealyn22) in a post called "No Roads Where We're Going Glossary." It’s even got pictures!

Dojo, engawa, gakusei, geta, gi, hakama, kata, katana, kimono, obi, Onii-chan, ronin, samurai, sensei, tachi, tanto, wakizashi, yumi

Onii-chan (お兄ちゃん): Older brother, or big brother.

Ichi, ni, san, shi (一, 二, 三, 四): One, two, three, four.

Before anyone gripes at me for using Japanese numbers, consider this: in martial arts dojos all over the world, students are taught to count their exercises in Japanese. The fact that you can walk into a dojo in the U.S. and hear Japanese being used was justification enough for me to use it here.

Martial Arts

I looked at tantojutsu, aikido, bujutsu, kendo, and some modern self-defense techniques for women. There are some great videos on YouTube, and I’ve posted a few of them on Tumblr.

I wanted the details of Fuu’s training to be at least somewhat grounded in reality even if it’s not completely accurate.

The most unrealistic part of this is that Fuu is learning so much so fast. No dojo master would ever inundate a brand new student with so many advanced techniques. Fuu is definitely getting a crash course. If Jin were teaching her in a structured setting alongside other students, I don’t think he would condone this at all. But they’re not in a structured setting - they’re out on their own, living one day at a time. He knows they could be attacked at any time, and Fuu needs to be ready.

It’s also extremely dangerous to use a tanto against a katana. You know that saying, “Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight?” Yeah… you don’t want to bring a knife to a sword fight either. But the tanto is Fuu’s only weapon. It’s not optimal, but she has to work with the resources that are presently available to her.

Jin and Fuu

The first thing he imparts is mental awareness and a sense of purpose. That means, know who you are, know why you’re doing this, and know the right way to do it.

Keep in mind, those first two things Jin discovered because of Fuu, during their journey to find the sunflower samurai. He’s taking the lessons he learned from her, and helping her to rediscover them in herself.

Fuu has always known who she is, but because of their demanding circumstances, she’s lost her way a little bit, and she’s definitely lacking purpose. So far, her only reason for being on this journey is basic survival. That’s not enough to live by, and Jin knows it from experience. He wants Fuu to identify her most important goals, and choose a path that will help her reach them so she’ll remain invested and determined to keep going.

Karyuudo

We see a different side of Karyuudo in this chapter. He expresses some opinions about society and a person’s character, he remembers his father and wonders what he would think of him now, and he identifies with Fuu in a number of ways. He possesses emotions and a degree of empathy and sentimentality.

He has always paid close attention to behavior, thought processes, and relationships. He wants to get inside the heads of his prey. Now that they’re not going anywhere for a while, he has an opportunity to watch their interactions more closely.

Mugen’s Dream / Experiences of the Past

He followed Fuu for a while after they split up last time. There’s a little bit of a backstory there, but that will come up in a later chapter, so I won’t spoil it for you.

The question is, when he followed her and “protected” her, did he do it for Fuu, or did he do it for himself? His dream is revealing here. As much as he thinks he’s protecting Fuu, he’s also unloading his own rage, and in a way, trying to clear his guilty conscience. It was mostly selfish on his part, and in his dream, he knows it. If he really wanted Fuu to feel protected, he should’ve reached out to her. Instead, he tried to ease his own anxiety, and then he moved on.

This method of coping with his stress was only partially effective. After he leaves Fuu alone, years go by and he doesn’t feel any better. That’s why, back in Chapter 1, he ultimately ends up at Ikitsuki Island burning down the church, and why, when he sees Fuu for the first time in Chapter 2, he’s hard-wired to protect her, even from her own emotional torment, which he feels at least partially responsible for.

Fuugen: The Kiss

I touched on a few different running themes:

1.) Fuu’s growing empowerment. I’ve known for a long time now that Fuu would make the first move. She’s taking the initiative. In so many fics, when Mugen and Fuu kiss, it’s Fuu’s first time, Mugen takes the lead, and it’s this big discovery moment told almost entirely through Fuu’s perspective. I wanted to turn that on its head.

2.) Mugen’s emotional development. He’s desperate for Fuu to stay with him. In past chapters, he hasn’t been able to sleep if she’s not close by. Now he’s injured, he can’t walk, he’s stuck in this house, he’s having dreams about Fuu being in danger, and to top it off, he knows he hurt her feelings when he wouldn’t open up to her about his pain. He doesn’t want to be alone, and he’s afraid that she’s going to leave. If she does, he knows it’s his own fault. He’s more vulnerable than ever before, and it scares him. He doesn’t like feeling that way.

During the kiss, I wanted Mugen’s perspective to matter just as much as Fuu’s - maybe even more so. If Fuu is taking the lead, that puts Mugen on the receiving end, and I wanted the reader to get a glimpse of what that’s like for him.

3.) Always moving forward. Unlike other fics, I’m not going to have Mugen draw comparisons between Fuu and the dozens of prostitutes he’s been with, and I’m not going to have Fuu be all innocent and awkward as if she has no clue what she’s doing. I make no claims as to whether this is Fuu’s first kiss or not. For me that’s irrelevant. Mugen and Fuu are two ordinary people falling in love. I want that to be the focus, not whatever experiences they’ve each had in the past.

I didn’t want to shortchange the build up. This is just my personal opinion, but when you kiss someone for the first time, new discoveries happen before the kiss does. These discoveries are shared between two people, and it happens whether you’ve kissed someone else in the past or not.

When your faces are close together, a new type of intimacy comes into being, and with it, a new sense of curiosity. You’re looking more closely than you’ve ever looked before, and you notice little details that you missed up until that moment. Even the things you thought you knew, or things that seemed ordinary before - they look a little different and a little more interesting when you’re up close. You want to see and touch, and experience.

That’s what I was going for in the moments leading up to the kiss.

Fuugen: The Fight

What goes up must come down.

Something I’ve learned multiple times in my life is that the people you love the most are the ones who can tear you down in the most devastating way. They know your weaknesses, and they know how to hit you where it really hurts. It feels horrible when the person you put on a pedestal decides to treat you like dirt.

Fuu can see that Mugen has feelings and motives that he’s not sharing, and she wants answers. Problem is, there are some answers Mugen doesn’t have, and others he’s too inept to communicate. Fuu doesn’t understand why he can’t just say what he feels and what he wants. (Spit it out already!) The only explanation she can come up with is that he’s afraid, and too stubborn to admit it. She’s right. He’s scared shitless and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

There’s a basis for this in the series. Mugen’s been alone since early childhood. Everyone he’s known has betrayed him in one way or another, and consequently, he doesn’t trust anyone. In his memories when he’s close to death, we see that he may have trusted Koza at some point in the past, but she and Mukuro betrayed him. The Roman Album says that he was betrayed over and over again. Sara points out that his anger and sadness stem from never being loved by anyone.

This helps to explain why Mugen is so afraid to let Fuu in, why he’s freaked out by the fact that he actually does need her, and why it hurts him so much when she walks away.

Fuu Takes It Too Far... But She’s Not Wrong

Fuu calling Mugen a murderer... yikes. “Over the line, Smokey!” (I’ll give a virtual high-five to anyone who knows that movie reference.)

I think that, as fans of the series and Fuugen lovers, we tend to forget just how evil Mugen really is... or was. In Misguided Miscreants, Mukuro tells us that Mugen has killed a lot of people, and we see in Mugen’s memories that his life was very violent and lonely. He was not a good guy.

In the series, Mugen is generally pretty open and straightforward about who he is and what he’s all about, but he’s still guarded when it comes to his past. (Not too different from Jin in that respect.) He gets seriously angry when Mukuro brings up his past in front of Fuu and Jin. He doesn’t want his violent past to define him as a person, yet he always lives with the idea that it already has.

Fuu has the power to bring out Mugen’s lighter side. She sees the potential for him to be good. He has trouble seeing it in himself, but if she believes it, he’ll try to believe it too.

If Fuu stops seeing Mugen’s potential, and only sees the evil inside him, then that’s all he is, and all he can ever be. It’s the very same thought that already lingers in the back of his mind - the thought that he will forever be defined by what he was.

Later on, even though Fuu apologizes and says she didn’t mean it, Mugen admits that it’s true. Internally, he worries that if he told Fuu all the details, she might be afraid of him and she might not want him anymore.

Fuu still sees the good in him and she will still love him. She only cares about what kind of person he is right now, and what kind of person he’s trying to be in the future. Mugen actually takes a moment to appreciate this.

Jin the Security Blanket

Fuu latches onto Jin like a child, and he patiently lets her do it. All she has to do is call him her big brother, and he automatically falls into the role. He loves Fuu like a sister, and he enjoys caring for her. For the most part, he comforts her just by being Jin. He doesn’t have to do anything special. He has a nice soothing voice and a stabilizing presence, and he won’t pry by asking questions. That’s all Fuu needs.

I thought it would be funny if Jin’s favorite childhood stories were about history, something intellectual that can be analyzed, rather than fairy tales or other children’s stories. Even as a child, he was fascinated by military strategy and the concept of a worthy lord.

Another minor note about Jin’s story - Fuu asked him to tell her something about his family, and he went for a century-old history lesson instead of talking about his actual family. He could’ve talked about his parents, or siblings (if he had any), or other direct relatives. There are still some things he keeps locked away.

He’s not alone.

Mugen and Jin’s Talk

Jin understands something Mugen doesn’t, and he goes so far as to talk about his emotional experience with Shino to get Mugen to realize it.

Mugen is driven to protect what he loves, and his compulsion is so overwhelming that he’s not seeing or considering anything else. He’s so tangled up inside that he doesn’t realize what’s going on. He thinks he needs to protect Fuu, but a large part of his motivation is selfish. He already feels like he was negligent by allowing Fuu to get hurt on Ikitsuki Island. He feels shame for not helping her after that (the scene from his dream). He’s also having a crisis over the whole concept of being attached to Fuu. He’s never needed anyone before. There’s a lot at stake for him, but a lot of it is self-inflicted.

Jin’s message to Mugen is, you’re in love, and love makes you vulnerable. You need to accept that, and acknowledge that it’s clouding your judgment. You’re not doing yourself any favors here. Learn to let go and trust the people around you.

Jin knows this because of his love for Shino. It’s a big deal for him to talk about this. In general, Jin doesn’t talk about his emotions. The fact that he does it here is a testament to how much he cares for his friends. He’s willing to bring down one of his own walls in order to get Mugen to drop one of his.

Jin also knows it because of his love for Fuu. He dealt with that a little bit in the previous chapter. He doesn’t mention this to Mugen, but Mugen calls him out on it anyway. That’s the point when they really start to reach a shared understanding.

After that, they just keep getting more open with each other, talking about gooey feelings and other emotional shit that both of them normally avoid. It only lasts until their affections are focused on each other, for the tiny fraction of a second that it happens.

Of course they missed each other. By this point in the story, we all know that, right? Fuu knows it. Mugen and Jin even know it, but they’ve never expressed it openly. Fortunately they’ve become close enough as friends that they don’t need words to express it - thank goodness, because that would be seriously awkward, and just plain weird (in their minds). They’re grown men, for shit’s sake. In their world, men shouldn’t get sentimental. That’s for women and pansies.

Mugen’s Participation & Apology

Jin tells Mugen that he believes Fuu is capable of learning to fight, but Mugen won’t believe it until he sees it for himself. He’s skeptical at first, but after watching her for a few days, he thinks maybe she’s competent enough that she might succeed if given a few pointers. But it’s not until Fuu kicks his ass that he really has to eat his own words.

When Mugen apologizes: some readers will see this as being seriously out of character. I see it as a point of growth. He knows he hurt Fuu, and he now sees that he was wrong. He also knows that Fuu wants to understand how he feels, and he let her down when he wasn’t able to express himself. He puts a great deal of effort into explaining why he didn’t want her to fight, and why he’s now changed his mind. All of this is a big step forward for him.

However, in his mind, he wants to say a lot more. He just can’t figure out how to articulate himself. He wants to tell her that he loves her. He really does, but it still scares him. The best he can do is show her he cares by holding onto her. It’s enough for now.

What Fuu Learned from Mugen and Jin

Both of the guys give Fuu some fighting advice. Mugen tells her to use her surroundings, improvise if necessary, and use the element of surprise. Jin won’t be expecting her to try something different, and that’s why it’s going to work.

Jin tells her to analyze what Mugen is doing, look for a weakness and exploit it. He also advocates for using Mugen’s injury against him, which is not very honorable, but it’s pragmatic. It’s in Fuu’s best interest to prove herself to Mugen, and if that’s how she has to do it, then so be it.

They both help to boost Fuu’s confidence. She’s learned a few new tricks, and she knows now that she has what it takes.

When Fuu Beats Jin

She says, “Suck on that, pretty boy!”

That line was inspired by the movie Mean Girls. I love Janis Ian.

Karyuudo and Kaibutsu

This is the first time Kaibutsu has spoken, and the first time he hasn’t been dressed in his red samurai armor. As it turns out, he’s actually quite talkative.

He’s acting sort of casual about this whole thing. It’s taking too long. He wants to get to the next phase of the mission so he can do his part. He even mouths off to Karyuudo a little bit, but when Karyuudo gives an order, he takes it without question.

So there’s a degree of familiarity between them, but Kaibutsu is definitely Karyuudo’s subordinate.

Karyuudo is more serious. Fuu reminds him of… someone or something. We never find out because Kaibutsu shuts him down, causing him to suppress the memory and any feelings attached to it. This is the second time in this chapter he’s displayed emotions.

Mugen and Jin’s Lack of Awareness of Karyuudo

One reviewer made a comment about it being strange that Mugen and Jin are unaware of Karyuudo’s presence in this chapter. I want to explain why - and I welcome any comments or suggestions on how I might improve this.

With Mugen being out of commission, Jin has taken on permanent guard duty. He’s been sitting outside every night, watching and listening. The same is true for his walks with Fuu to the hot spring. He knows that they’re probably not alone, but he hasn’t seen any obvious signs to prove it. As the reader, you only get hints of Jin’s concern. Maybe that’s part of the problem. Perhaps I could’ve described this more explicitly so you’d know that Jin’s not completely oblivious to the potential danger. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

In previous chapters, they haven’t been able to detect Karyuudo’s presence unless he wants them to, so it’s not unusual that they can’t see him now.

Karyuudo doesn’t want to be seen. This is a chance for him to observe the trio in a different setting, compared to what he would normally see when they’re traveling. There’s no point in trying to intimidate them right now. It’s not like they can quickly flee the scene, with Mugen not able to move very fast. It wouldn’t give Karyuudo any new information.

The other piece is that I needed Mugen, Jin, and Fuu to feel secure enough in their safety to be able to stay at the cabin for a while. If Karyuudo did try to spook them, they would be forced to leave, and many of the events in the chapter wouldn’t be able to happen, at least not in the way I had planned. If they became aware of Karyuudo’s presence, it would have taken focus away from those events, and taken the plot in a different direction.

The only thing that could really come of that, is that they’d be limping through the woods again, and/or attacked again while Mugen is still injured. That already happened in Chapter 8. I suppose Mugen’s condition could worsen if he’s not able to heal properly before traveling again, and that could lead to a few other developments, but that’s not the direction I have planned.

In the next chapter, as Jin is walking to the village, he will be thinking about how odd it is that he hasn’t seen any signs of the man in the mask. In addition, the masked man will return to the forefront by making his presence known again in a much more obvious way.

I hope that explains what I was thinking when I wrote this chapter. I can see how it would seem weird that Jin hasn’t detected Karyuudo. I’m considering going back to Chapter 9 and adding more detail to show that Jin’s been watching, and that he thinks it’s strange and even frustrating that the man in the mask hasn’t shown himself in all this time.

What do you think? Would it be worthwhile to add more detail to Chapter 9 to clarify what’s happening?

History: Takeda Shingen

Jin started to tell Fuu a story about the brilliant military strategy of Takeda Shingen, but Fuu fell asleep before he got to the good part. I thought I’d share the meat of that story, for those of you interested in history.

Takeda Shingen was widely feared and respected as a military warlord. The Takeda army was huge. Under his leadership, the Takeda greatly expanded their territory by defeating many of their rivals.

Although we like to think of samurai as honorable men who carried a katana and wakizashi everywhere they went, that wasn’t the case for most of Japan’s history. That didn’t come about until the Edo period. Prior to that, during the Sengoku period, around the mid-late 16th century, the weapons of choice for the samurai were yumi (bow) and spears. They did use swords, but never as a primary weapon, and when they did, they used tachi more so than katana.

What would typically happen in battle (and this is an over-simplification) was that each army would be made up of a combination of mounted samurai, and foot soldiers who were usually peasants and farmers by profession. We’re talking thousands, maybe even tens of thousands of men (and occasionally some women).

For the most part, they all carried yumi. Both sides would fire at each other from a distance. When they advanced closer, the yumi were pretty useless. For one thing, yumi are the longest bows in the world. They’re huge, generally between 7 and 8 feet long by today’s measurements (the basic size and design of the yumi hasn’t changed much since the 16th and 17th centuries). Samurai needed to hand their yumi off to their attendants, who marched alongside them, then they would pull out their swords and fight in a big melee brawl. They might remain on horseback, or they might be forced to dismount. At that point, it was basically one-on-one combat. You’d fight against one guy, kill him, and move on to the next guy.

Takeda Shingen was famous for a strategy known as the cavalry charge. He converted his mounted archers into lancers. The foot soldiers still carried yumi, but the samurai on horseback carried spears. They would ride in formation and charge against the enemy in waves. When they advanced on their opponents, they were able to remain mounted, leveraging the long reach of the spear. Then it wasn’t so much of a one-on-one fight, because they just plowed through the enemy’s ranks as a group. The enemy archers were not at all prepared for this strategy, and they were easily defeated. This became the trademark of the Takeda army, and one of the reasons why the Takeda were so feared in battle.

That’s where Jin’s story would have ended. Nobody wants to talk about the impending downfall of their own clan, but I figured some readers might actually be interested in this part, so I’m including it just for fun.

The Fall of the Takeda Clan

Unfortunately, after Shingen’s death, his son Takeda Katsuyori attempted to use the cavalry charge at the Battle of Nagashino in 1575 against the combined forces of Tokugawa Ieyasu (who would later become shogun) and Oda Nobunaga. It was a colossal failure.

Oda Nobunaga used Portuguese firearms - a matchlock rifle that the Japanese called tanegashima, named for the island where the Portuguese shipwrecked while carrying a load of these guns in their cargo. Some of the Japanese daimyo copied the design and produced their own rifles. (In the series, remember the so-called Francisco Xavier III and his guns? Those were a fictionalized version of the Portuguese-inspired design of early Japanese firearms.)

It didn’t require a lot of training to use these weapons, so Nobunaga could use peasants and farmers, and save his samurai for other duties. Some sources say that he had as many as 3000 rifles, in addition to 10,000 foot soldiers with yumi. Meanwhile, Katsuyori’s cavalry was made up of all samurai, plus some foot soldiers in the infantry.

Nobunaga was one of the first people in the world known to have used the strategy of volley fire. His men would be organized in groups. One group would fire off a round, then reload while another group fired. He also used archers. Arrows traveled farther than bullets, and yumi were faster to use - no reload time required. So a combination of the two was very effective.

Ieyasu and Nobunaga positioned their men behind a set of wooden palisades, on the far side of a river. When Katsuyori sent his cavalry, the river slowed them way down and many of them were wiped out before they ever made contact with the enemy soldiers. Most of those that made it across the river were stopped at the palisades. Nobunaga had spearmen waiting who could reach out from inside the palisades to strike down the few Takeda samurai who actually made it all the way there.

Between the use of firearms and the way he positioned and organized his men, Nobunaga’s strategy rendered the cavalry charge totally ineffective. Katsuyori was soundly defeated, losing two-thirds of his forces and many of his best generals.

After that, the Takeda clan started falling apart. Katsuyori had lost most of his best samurai in the battle, and two of his relatives defected to the Tokugawa/Nobunaga faction. People questioned his ability to lead, and most of his followers abandoned him. The clan was destroyed, and Katsuyori, his wife, and his son all committed seppuku - ritual suicide.

Poor Katsuyori. He’ll forever be remembered as the guy whose failure destroyed the mighty Takeda clan.

This provides a bit more context for the Mizuno brothers back in Chapter 7. Hideki talked about Jin’s clan having been defeated and scattered to the wind 100 years earlier. This was how it happened.

That’s all, folks! Thanks for reading!

#No Roads Where We're Going #NoRoadsWhereWe'reGoing

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shianhygge-imagines · 8 years ago

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REQUEST: Q.E.D [Ravus/Reader]

“quod erat demonstrandum” = thus it has been demonstrated.

Since I received two requests that involved nearly the same plot, this Ravus story will be split into two parts: QED and I Will Be. QED is the troubled marriage... and I Will Be will be the happy ending.

This story takes place in an alternate universe where the fall of Insomnia doesn’t happen. Tenebrae was still taken over by Niflheim, and the Queen Sylva was still killed. However, King Regis had predicted this, and had his own men ready to retaliate. The entirety of Tenebrae becomes a warzone, and to avoid more casualties, Ravus and Lunafreya both agree to send the Lucis delegates away. This eliminates the resentment towards King Regis. :3 He still becomes the emotionally constipated bean that we love.

|Masterlist Link|

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Love dies when growth stops.” You read that quote somewhere long ago, but you didn’t remember where, just that it stuck with you your entire life. Especially when you met your husband.

You’d fallen in love with the man that he actually was. Not the Imperial High Commander. Not the facade of a dutiful Prince. No. You’d fallen in love with Ravus Nox Fleuret, older brother to Lunafreya. He was loyal to those closest to him, and would do all he could to protect them. And it was what drew you towards him.

You’d met him at a gathering of sorts of the highest in Tenebrae’s society. A celebration for Ravus’s achievement of becoming the youngest High Commander in Niflheim history. Of course it was an obligatory celebration, thrown simply as a cover for those of high society. You knew this, but it didn’t seem your family held a clue. Your mother and father merely saw the gathering as a chance to marry your older sister off to someone respectable. Their eyes, however, were highly focused on the former Prince. You liked your sister well enough, but while she wasn’t as selfish as your parents, she was a melodramatic thing full of hubris. You pitied anyone who should be married to anyone in your family.

Perhaps then, it was your lack of enthusiasm that drew Ravus to you after the first dance, meant solely for him and his sister. He had been stiff and formal when asking, which was not surprising in the least, and he had remained silent for most of the dance. Then, you heard your sister’s cry of outrage and you saw that she was throwing a fit at your parents. Apparently, she had seen the former prince approach you.

“She’s embarrassing herself.” You sighed heavily, turning away from the scene to look at Ravus’s chest. “I apologize for my sister’s behavior, High Commander.”

“It is by no fault of yours, I am sure.” Ravus reassured you, his blue and brown eyes meeting yours calmly. “Though I am thoroughly dumbfounded that she had the audacity to think that she had a right to be in my company in this occasion.”

Smirking, you followed the former Prince’s lead into a spin, curling away before being brought back into an embrace. “My mother and father had promised to arrange for your engagements. I found it foolish, but it’s quite fun to watch them being put back into their place. They have no interest in the politics and masquerades that come with being in a high position. They only crave the wealth, the fame,” your eyes met his once more, “the beauty.”

Ravus had found you alluring and interesting. And after that party of sorts, he continued to extend invitations to you to join him. The more the two of you spent time together, the more you two thought, “If I were to live out the rest of my days, I’d want it to be them.”

Your parents were more than overjoyed when Ravus proposed to you, though your sister was slightly bitter. And then, when you’d married him, you were immediately moved to live within the walls of House Fleuret, the ever pristine castle which stood balanced on the largest mountain.

Marriage… perhaps it was marriage that changed everything.

Though ever so realistic in your thoughts and views on life, you were still undoubtedly the romantic dreamer. For you, marriage had always been the chance to learn about your lover slowly and intimately. It was about spending time with your husband to learn more about him. Ravus was the High Commander of the Niflheim army and you were aware that his occupation and obligations would often take him far from your arms. In fact, you’d gone into your marriage completely accepting the fact that Ravus would have very limited time with you.

But as the days went on, and months passed, you were unsure if you had made the correct decision in marrying him. He’d started growing colder and colder, his face slowly stopped expressing pleasant emotions. Your husband would come home with a steely mask on his face, locking himself in his office to work.

When it was time for meals, you all sat in a frigid silence. Attempts at starting a conversation ended with a stern glare from your husband, or a clipped one lined answer. Lunafreya would often indulge you in brief conversation during dinner, but more often than not, she would be as silent as her brother.

And when it was time for bed, you’d wait for Ravus. Often, you found yourself waiting until late at night, when your husband would find himself too tired to continue working on paperwork. But when he did join you in your bed, he’d simply slump into the mattress and fall asleep. No whispers of good night, no touches of affection. It was like he didn’t want you there.

So, one morning, you awake before your husband, long before the sunrise. You had gotten up after a restless night and quietly freshened up. Usually, Ravus wakes up before you and leaves for his office before you even wake up. You were tired of this. Tired of him avoiding contact with you. You understood that Ravus was working so diligently in order to secretly aid his sister and the future King Noctis, but you refused to simply be placed on a pedestal and forgotten. When you had agreed to marry Ravus, you didn’t want to be a trophy wife, like your sister was content being. No. You wanted to be your husband’s equal. To stand by his side throughout hardships and conflict. But how were you to do that when your husband himself was content to ignore your presence?

And now, you sat, sipping from a cup of tea as you sat in bed, gazing lovingly at your husband’s sleeping face. It had been so long since you were able to observe his handsomely sharp face. It had been so long since you had touched him. Since he had touched you. And you couldn’t help but reach out slowly, after setting the tea cup down on the bedside table, and gently brush your husbands platinum blonde locks out of his face.

“My handsome husband…” you sighed, allowing yourself to indulge a bit more, your hand gently caressing his high cheekbones. His skin, as usual, was soft and smooth. Your husband never used skincare products, not like you had to. No… he was just a natural beauty. Like his little sister. Your eyes then fixed themselves onto his lips. How long has it been since you kissed your husband? Slowly, you lowered your face towards his before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. You missed them. You missed him.

And when you were suddenly pushed backwards, nearly falling off the bed as you met Ravus’s surprised glare, all you could think was, “Why?”

The words had left your lips without you meaning for them to. But it was too late to take them back now. Smoldering blue and brown eyes glared at you from across the room, where your husband had nearly flown to after pushing you away from him. Even when he glared at you, your husband was the picture of beauty. Before, you had thought that it was beauty like that of still ocean waters. An intimidating beauty. But now, you could only see the cold beauty of ice. Frigid and unkind. Ravus refused to speak first, so you started first.

“Why do you avoid me, Ravus?” You started, maintaining your seat on the bed, though you desperately wanted to run towards the platinum blonde. “I’m your wife, and you can’t even bear to acknowledge me!”

Your husband continued to stare at you coldly before turning his head away, “I’m not avoiding you, Y/N.”

Ravus’s redirected stare only spurred your frustration and your hurt. You hopped off the bed to stand, taking small steps towards Ravus, “If you’re not avoiding me, then what do you call barely coming home? What do you call not talking to me? What do you call this?” you motioned to his not looking at you. And then with furrowed brows, you asked, “Do you… can you not bear the sight of me?”

It was almost a whisper, nearly inaudible, yet your husband heard you. His head snapped to look at you, piercing brown and blue eyes glaring straight at your form only a meter away. “Yes. Are you happy? You are an unneeded distraction from my plans.”

“Then why even marry me?” You demanded, heart clenched as if encased in the Archaean’s fist.

Ravus started for the door, a quick stride to his steps. As he opened the grand double doors and slammed them closed, you heard him hiss something barely audible, but you heard it nonetheless.

And you were never one to cry even when life didn’t go your way or you were punished as a child. Your chin was always held up in a show of emotional strength. But what Ravus had said sent wrecking balls through the fortress of stone built around your heart. And for the first time in a very long time, you allowed yourself to cry. Silent and alone.

“You were a mistake.”

Love dies when growth stops, indeed.

~~~~~~~~~

Sequel with be posted soon. Titled, “I Will Be.”

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed my work, please consider buying me a Ko-fi!

#ravus nox fleuret #ravus x reader #shian imagines #requests #final fantasy xv imagines #final fantasy xv

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ethnictits-blog · 8 years ago

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Okay. Best Spider-Man movie and general Spider-Man to date. I have a lot of notes on the symbolism and modern parallels and relevance to our generation and how Marvel and the super hero genre in general is evolving dramatically on their stance of heroism, and what Spider-Man represents versus what he represented particularly in the original Spider-Man films, and evidence of evolving values. OKAY. Going down a list here (Spoilers of course)

1. First we need to talk about what Spider-Man represents. Spider-Man particularly as Tobey Maguire, represents America. Not American ideals like Cap, but America. He's a working class citizen who's constantly working jobs, who's aunt is struggling to make ends meet, he can't pay rent, etc. This Spider-Man, is a figure for young millennials but optimistic young millennial. He's less concerned with money (tho it's still a part of life), and he's more concerned about trying to find his place in the world. In the beginning he's taking video diaries of his time in Cap Civil War, and afterwards he's trying as optimistically as he can to get Tony to use him in the Avengers. He texts Happy and calls him everyday, he drops out of stuff so he can be ready for Stark to use him, and it never happens. He faces that crisis that many adults and children face where children feel like adults aren't listening to them but they're still trying to prove their best to the adults. A problem for millennials today is that we started out more optimistic about our futures, and then we grew disillusioned and cynical with the world. Parker is the early young generation of millennials, and while he's still a positive person by the end, he too has a sense of disillusionment primarily with himself and what the real world demands of him but I'll elaborate on that later.

2. MJ's character is an example of the cynicism we have now reached. She acts like she doesn't care about much, she reads about human rights, and points out cynically that the Washington monument was made by slaves, she draws people's despair and puts herself in situations to see it even if it's sarcastic. She's the disillusioned millennial but deep down she wants the world to be a better place. While Peter finds himself at the mercy of adult demands, she operate outside of everything, even proving an adult wrong and recognizing no real authority as assertion of this disillusionment.

3. Now that we've established what their roles indicate, let's talk about the grander scheme of things and why those roles are important: The Superhero genre. Superhero films have been around forever but they are the dominant genre of our gen right now. However, this genre has evolved with the gen to align with our own villains. Earlier MCU films used to be much simpler. We all know the Superhero origin formula. But now we've reached a point where our heroes have become morally questionable, more introspective about their roles as heroes, and gradually, have become to an extent unwitting villains. We were initially told that heroes were what we needed, that no matter the consequences, we should root for them. On closer inspection however, when we actually look at those consequences, our heroes aren't all that heroic. Tony, a rich billionaire playboy philanthropist, has always had his past consequences haunt him, but other than that we don't really see those consequences with supers in general. What we see in Civil War is the full fruition of these consequences and of course, the government gets involved. Regardless if you're team Cap or team IM, it's clear that the balance between accountability and control is difficult to balance. Everything has a chain reaction domino effect. Then our own heroes are fighting each other, morals and ethics are called into major question, and in the end things are unstable and the government takes control. This doesn't even just apply to Marvel, but D.C. As well. Superman is put on trial and we have to ask "how is he supposed to answer for the damage?" People want to root for our heroes and say the government sucks, but the exact same thing would happen in real life and we'd have to find some way to cope with something with potential for destruction. Even when our heroes have good intentions, they don't always know what's best. Age of Ultron being an example. Wanda and Pietro's resentment. The overall point is that we can't ever fully trust our heroes like we used to. They're human (mostly), and like humans are subject to flaws and bad decisions. In Spider-Man, this theme is further emphasized and continued when we see that our villain stems from being a disgruntled worker who was shoved out from a job given to him by the avengers by Stark approved government departments. Tossed out and feeling betrayed, these villains decide to "change with the times". This (paraphrased) phrase is constantly emphasized, reason being that being a simple working human doesn't really cut it anymore. If they want to get anywhere, they have to claw and fight and they do so through villainy (and resentment for capitalism which I'll further at some other point).

4. This leads as an example of the next change in the Superhero genre: The Rise of the antihero/villain. Over the years, we as an audience have grown to sympathize more with the antihero and villains of our cinema. It used to be primarily because they're more humanly relatable and badass than uber moral-driven idealists, but even that's changed. Because our moral guides have been humanized so what's the issue? The issue is that they're hypocritical. They claim to be good people who save lives, but a good majority of the villains we've had in the last few years, are BECAUSE of said heroes. Villains and anti heroes are given a more understandable and complex background that we can identify with more because not only are they more interesting but they're a result of many outside influences pressing on them. Sure they have the choice to be better, but its easy to see how easy it is to fall into that resentment of life, especially when they have no heroes. As a result, we have Deadpool, Suicide Squad (which had much more potential appeal) but Harley Quinn especially, Loki, Punisher, Jessica Jones (a defender who saves people yes, but she strays far more from the hero archetype, having at least to start with more anti hero tendencies), Wanda the villain turned hero, we have Baron Zemo, even Ultron is sympathetic (especially towards his end, but maybe it's just me). All of these have been a far more recurring breed that we can't help but at least appreciate, especially when they cynically mock everything

5. Likewise in Spider-Man, our villain isn't some super powered mwahahaha, type guy. He's a working blue collar guy with a family who feels betrayed by America's idols. Not only that, he's Spidey's love interest's father. Not only was this a surprise, but this had the effect of humanizing him dramatically. He doesn't cackle in his lair, he absolutely loves his wife and daughter and taking care of them as best as he can. He just stopped doing it honestly because he wanted to bite back at the people who shoved him down. He isn't fueled by evil, he's fueled by resentment of the callousness of the "big people" who screw people like him and his family over.

6. What's interesting about his role as a family man though is that it's an exceptional example of duality that is present throughout the entire film and even the franchise in general. In him we have our villain and our family man, in Stark we have a rich arrogant man harboring deep seated insecurities and PTSD, and a confident "Hero" in a suit. Cap is a war veteran trying to figure his life out, and also a symbolic hero of patriotism. And all of them are reduced to simple roles. Cap gains the courage to leave his dual role because he doesn't want to be defined and ruled by it anymore. Peter on the other hand, wants to establish his one true role. He has a secret double life, but he ALWAYS prioritizes his role as a hero over everything else. He even says he doesn't want to continue high school or go to college because Spider-Man is what he wants to be. This doesn't really work for heroes OR villains though. A piece of your other half will always bleed into the other and it's difficult to come to terms with both. Stark embraces both sides but it doesn't stop them from conflicting. Peter has to learn to find balance.

7. And to a degree he does. At the very least he learns to appreciate what a normal life has in store. But even if he doesn't have it quite keyed in, it reminds us of an EXTREMELY important detail that this movie emphasized over and over again: He is a KID. This was my absolute favorite aspect of Homecoming. We've always held our heroes to certain expectations, but Peter? He's 15. He's a 15 year old kid who can do amazing things but he can't take on the world and he won't know how to do everything. He spends a good portion of the movie trying so so hard to be the best he can be, but he's not there. And that's OKAY. Because he's so young. We absolutely see scenes of weakness that we don't normally see. We see the fears and anxieties of a young guy trying to save the world without all the angst. He climbs the Washington monument and he's terrified because he's never climbed that high before. He trips and falls and he can't interrogate, and he isn't the best fighter. And a perfect scene I loved was when he's under a collapsed building, he takes his mask off and he screams agonizing screams for help, for anyone to help him. And even beyond that are even more agonizing screams because he pushes himself to the limit, thinking that that's what it means to be hero and it's further reminded that's he's incredibly young.

8. Going back to that cry for help though, I found it quite interesting how he has this moment of clarity that he has to be the one to save himself. No one else is coming. And I realized, Peter has spent the entire film begging for help. He wants so badly for Tony to put him on the avengers, to be a mentor for him, and to have his back. He calls Happy and Tony and tries to desperately to let them know when he thinks something's wrong and he could use help. And after he steals Flash's car he asks his friend to call Happy. But each and every time, no one is there to help. Because no one listens to him. Tony says "of course I listen, why do you think the FBI were there?" But Tony never bothers to communicate with Peter or tell him how to handle the situation other than than telling Peter to stay out of the way. In the end, no one (aside from Ned), is really there for Peter and certainly not to save him when he needs it. Even when Stark pulls him out of the lake he completely discredits Peter's abilities. He also blames Peter for essentially everything ever after the ferry incident. Without Ned, Peter probably would've lost it having no one there with him, even if it was minor support. All this makes that moment of clarity under the collapse so crucial. Because that's the moment he has to be a hero for himself.

9. In being a hero by and for himself, Peter is pushed to his limits over and over again. And by the end, when he's offered to be an avenger, he rejects it, opting to remain at a lower level. I loved this because it's a moment where Peter realizes that he's not ready to take on the world. So many young protagonists don't have the option to step back down. When they do, they get the pushy encouragement talk. But In both Moana and Homecoming, our protagonists decide their limits for themselves and where they want push themselves. It's a lesson that isn't taught enough. It's okay not being able to take it all the way, and I hope that this also becomes a more popular trope. While we want our heroes to succeed it isn't always realistic, especially for youngsters.

10. Now, considering their age, the millennial roles, the self-saving moments, and decision making independent from authority influences, something I also noticed, is that while the younger people are constantly discredited, they're right. The Villain confronts Peter at the end saying "you don't understand the world and blah blah blah" but for Peter, it doesn't matter that he doesn't understand the world, because he knows when something is wrong. Same with Michelle, she doesn't know everything, she's young, but she sees what's wrong with the world whether or not she understands it. This is a common millennial grievance. We're always faced with you don't understand this, but we always say "that doesn't make it right though", which I found interesting.

Anyway I had more notes like how the film addresses capitalism, elaborating on why I had hoped Peter would have this moment of disillusionment at the end with his heroes (but no he stays relatively perky and approval-seeking), how amazing Peter was in regards to his aunt (he didn't take shit from anyone concerning his aunt, even Stark he was visibly upset and uncomfortable with objectifying his aunt), the way that the movie included not only more prominent POC roles but also addressed human rights which most hero films avoid directly addressing. But I've been typing for like an hour so XDD Someone else please tackle those, especially concerning the POC roles because I’m only half latinx and half white so I bet given my lack of personal experience, I missed important aspects of that inclusion.

#spider-man: homecoming #spiderman #marvel cinematic universe #tom holland

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aion-rsa · 8 years ago

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Latour Predicts an Action Packed 2017 for Southern Bastards

The fictional setting of Jason Aaron and Jason Latour’s Eisner-winning “Southern Bastards,” Craw County, Alabama is a powder keg waiting to explode. The fuse was lit in 2014’s series’ opening arc when Euless Boss, the local crime lord and high school football coach, murdered a man named Earl Tubb. It’s been a slow burning fuse, especially in 2016, when the series only released three issues. But Earl Tubb’s Marine Corps member daughter Roberta has finally arrived in Craw County, and will soon enact her plans for vengeance.

RELATED: Latour On Finally Tying Up His Loose Ends with Brunner & Renzi

2017 is sure to be a big year for the series, as Boss contends with Roberta, several new and soon to be introduced power players, and his team’s losing streak. We spoke with Latour about the plans for the book, why Roberta Tubb was given a slow burn introduction into the larger story he and Aaron are telling, and how important it is for him to have a book to draw, especially now that he’s known for his work as a writer on books like Marvel Comics’ “Spider-Gwen.”

CBR: There were only three issues of “Southern Bastards” published in 2016, and I imagine that’s partly because you and Jason Aaron are really busy guys. Was it also because you guys want to give the series the time it deserves?

Jason Latour: Yeah, we went into this never expecting anybody to really buy our football-murder comic. [Laughs] We knew we had a chance to do something interesting because we were both so invested in it, and because people who knew Jason A’s work knew that “Scalped” was really good. But the book has been about 10,000 times more successful than I ever thought it would be.

Part of staying the course, to keep it on the level of what we both expect and get out of it, is to put the comic out that we feel comfortable with. Like you said, both of us are very busy with our careers, so we’ve got a lot of fingers in a lot of pies. That hasn’t helped our schedule, no, but there was definitely an organic story-centric need for a recharge at the end of arc number three.

We’re just very committed to making sure this comic is served when the meal is ready. [Laughs] There’s a lot of comics out there that people can consume like fast food. They can get them on demand. They can get them when they’re greedy for them, but this is a comic we try to treat exactly like good barbecue. You cook the pig until it’s right; when the pig is done, it’s done. When it’s gone, it’s gone, and you close up for the day. I’m certain that frustrates some people, but I’m also confident in the product and the effort that goes into making the comic that only we make, the way only we can make it.

That said, I really thank people for being patient because the readers that have been loyal to this comic have gone above and beyond normal fandom. I can’t speak highly enough about their passion for it. It’s really endearing and gratifying and energizing.

November’s #15 focused primarily on the imploding world of Coach Boss, but we did see a little more of Roberta Tubb, who is in Craw County doing recon. What made you and Jason want to give her such a slow burn introduction? And will we finally see what Roberta is capable during the current arc?

Yes, the end of this arc is probably conceived as the most action packed thing we’ve done. It will heavily involve bringing Roberta to the forefront and her enacting the first step of her plan. Hopefully, everything draws together, and by the end this story will have one of the most explosive arcs we’ve done to date.

Easing Roberta into the story was really necessary, because this is a story where the premise has always been that the bastards have won the day. They’re in charge. Wanting to see people like Coach Boss toppled, or feeling conflicted about Coach Boss and not knowing if you want him to fail or not is all very important to the way this comic works. That needed to be set up slowly.

We sort of introduced a white hat early in Earl Tubb, but introducing the real protagonist so soon would have done the comic a disservice, especially considering that, thematically, a big part of this story revolves around setting up this a very toxic and masculine environment. You have to see the consequences of that and get to know the players and the lay of the land before you introduce the person who could potentially up end it in Roberta Tubb.

It was a big gamble on our part where we knew that our fourth issue threw people a curve ball, and then we asked them to wait a long time for any real release. But I think the small releases people have experienced do seem amplified by that.

With “Southern Bastards,” you can always expect us to be true to the story that we’re telling, whether that takes a little longer to actually make the comic, or it takes a little longer to play out some elements. Sometimes what you expect isn’t necessarily what you’re going to enjoy.

Issue #15 also introduced readers to a new power player in Craw County, the mayor’s wife, Leddy. What can you tell us about her? How big a role will she play in the series moving forward?

We’ve plotted through a lot of the next two arcs, and more and more, Leddy keeps popping up in conversations. Where she comes from and her actual hold over things are stuff that certainly needs to be explored. She’s an interesting antagonist or foil for Coach Boss. I am a little hesitant to go into how much we’ll see of her, but she’s definitely going to be a player moving forward. In many ways, she seems like a good mirror for Roberta.

I’m curious about another new character who appears on the cover of “Southern Bastards” #17. He looks a lot like an older Burt Reynolds, and appears to have a pet monkey. Who is he?

[Laughs] That’s Colonel Quick McCluskey. He is a character who we both very quickly (pun embraced) have fallen in love with. I told Jason Aaron that there will be a point in the future where people might look back on this comic and instead of saying that’s where the book jumped the shark, they’ll say that’s where they introduced the monkey. [Laughs]

He is a rival crime boss that supports a rival football team. I’ll leave it at that. He’ll definitely be a major player in this next arc, and maybe even moving forward beyond that. He’s been a lot of fun.

When things are very serious, they sort of reflect how absurd life is. So to me, McClusky fits that sort of Coen Brothers vibe we’re both big fans of. So ridiculous, he’s terrifying. We’re always trying to feed stuff like that into this comic because that’s the way I think we both feel about real life.

One of the things we’ve been reminded of throughout “Southern Bastards” is how big an impact the past has on the present. It looks like March’s issue #18 will show how the past impacts Roberta.

Yes. It was Faulkner who said, “The past is prelude.” That’s the most educated book learned thing you’re going to ever hear me say. [Laughs] I think that’s true of both “Southern Bastards” and “Loose Ends” [a series by Latour, Chris Brunner]. Both Southern fiction and Crime fiction share this obsession with how the ripples of past mistakes can become this tidal wave in the present.

Issue #18 is by me and Chris Brunner. That’s a chapter I’m writing and he’s drawing. What Roberta is going to be weighing in that issue is just how much her father, Earl Tubb, actually got what he was looking for in the end. And how much of the impact he made on her growing up has led her to Craw County — and to this seemingly inescapable momentum that’s put her on a collision course with Coach Boss.

Chris is drawing issue #18, but you’re the regular artist. How does it feel to have a book where you can go and draw when you’re doing so much writing these days?

It’s very difficult, but also invaluable. As somebody who’s drawn his whole life I need that gear shift. Writing is something that I take very seriously, and I’m very fond of . . . when it’s going well. [Laughs]

For me, there’s sort of a meditative quality to drawing. Once I’ve done a lot of thinking about the storytelling on the page I then actually have to execute it. That’s a very time intensive process where you have to sit there and basically break your back over the board for a couple hours every night. It can be almost mechanical at times— but I think it really helps me think through what I want to do creatively. So writing and drawing are two things that are very intrinsically linked for me. I may eventually scale back on drawing some (as if it’s even possible for me to do less, right?) because it’s a lot harder, but I don’t ever want to quit. It’s all storytelling, and that’s what I love.

Does being a working artist improve the collaborations on the other books you’re writing?

I definitely think it has. I’m very fortunate to say that I’ve done every single creative task when it comes to making comics, except being an editor… at least formally. I even lettered “Loose Ends” by hand. I’ve done every one of the jobs on both a creator-owned and professional basis, and I’ve done them to varying degrees of success.

It certainly helps when you’re collaborating on a comic, because on one hand, you know what you’re talking about, and on the other hand you know how it feels to sit in that chair and be that other person. I imagine there have been some times when my experiences doing those other tasks have gotten in the way, but more times than not they’ve helped with communication and the empathy you need to keep those relationships alive.

You know how they say directors should take acting classes so they know exactly what to yell at the actors? [Laughs] That’s sort of what it’s like.

What else does 2017 holds for “Southern Bastards?” The Image site suggests the next issue will hit in January and we’ll be getting one issue a month for the next several months.

That will be the attempt. We don’t want to have too many long gaps on this next arc. Issue #15 is out now. Issue #16 has gone to the printer. There’s issue #17 and then Chris Brunner is drawing #18 from a script I wrote. The last two parts make the arc an even six issues, and will put us to right around the end of Spring for the conclusion.

 Then there’s talk of me potentially tackling a floating issue all by myself, on both writing and art. If that happens or not is contingent on lots of stuff, but it’s something I’m very excited about. Then we’ll probably take a break and assess when we’ll come back for Volume 5 from there.

So I can’t stress enough that we’re far from done with this comic. 2017 is hopefully going to be a more productive year. I’ve been joking that we did less issues in 2016 because we knew it was gonna be a bad year and we want people good and ready to tear shit up in 2017.

Truthfully, I’d say we’re roughly approaching the midway point to the series and I’m very hopeful and excited about what’s to come because every time Jason and I have creative jam sessions about where we’re headed, I leave feeling more and more excited about it. Which is strange for me, given that I never thought I’d draw a comic bigger than a one shot. [Laughs]

So staring down the barrel at a series that could potentially run 30-40 issues is really intimidating, but also exciting. I’m just very grateful for everybody who supported us at this point and I hope they continue to enjoy the little football murder comic that could.

The post Latour Predicts an Action Packed 2017 for Southern Bastards appeared first on CBR.com.

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#Aion_Rsa

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