#but he's the same going to bed past midnight and waking up at 6-7. except he'll also get up at 1-2am just to have a snack 😭

[mishkakagehishka]

It's fine my dad sleeps the same way + wakes up periodically and he's still kicking

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Colors, ch.24: Vellum

(A Spicyhoney ‘The Village’ AU)

The story so far:

1. Crimson | 2. Yellow | 3. Blue | 4. Blush | 5. Sallow | 6. Russet | 7. Spice

8. Whiteout | 9. Sable | 10. Blue on Black | 11. Midnight | 12. Ebony Falling

13. Golden | 14. Magenta | 15. Marigold | 16. Coquelicot | 17. Daffodil |

18. Verdigris | 19. Honey | 20. Scarlet | 21. Alstroemeria | 22. Onyx | 

23. Gray

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Warnings: This chapter contains discussion of past spousal abuse. (Not Edge or Rus.) It is not graphic, but it is implied to be both physical and sexual in nature.

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Read ‘Vellum’ on AO3

or

Read More Here!

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One of Rus’s clearest memories as a child back at the Village was the first time he’d gone shopping at the general goods store with his brother. Their parents were long since gone to meet the Maker and despite his youth, Blue cared for him the very best he could, spending long days training with Healer Gestor then returning home to spend more time caring for Rus. He never complained, no matter how exhausted he was.

Blue carried through with a smile, always, though Rus was often sickly and wasn’t able to help as much as he should. Even when Rus sometimes woke from terrible dreams and interrupted his already limited sleep. Shrieking for his brother in the darkness until Blue brought him back to his own bed and they slept there clinging to each other against the night.

His brother only ever reassured him of his love and that he was there for him, no matter what might come.

The occasion of the store visit was a rare treat, Rus was only seldom allowed into the Village proper for anything but prayer meetings, and those days were only for solemn reflection and silence. That day, Blue allowed him to chatter happily, to gawk at all the buildings and people, the horses that pulled carts full of produce and his agemates who ran playing through the streets as Rus couldn’t.

The store itself was a wonder, filled with shelves that held various goods. The walls were lined with barrels of pickles, bins filled with crackers. There were gleaming jars of peaches and applesauce, bottles of vinegars and molasses lining the shelves and bars of soap wrapped in waxed paper, the smell of which made Rus want to sneeze.

And there on one of the shelves was a tea set. Blue adored tea and every Saturday, he would bring out their mother’s tea set and brew a pot. They would sit together and drink, Rus’s cup filled more with hot milk and only a splash of tea that made him feel very grown up. They ate scones and Blue would tell him about his week, funny stories and interesting tidbits of gossip. It was one of Rus’s favorite times of the week.

This tea set was nothing like their mother’s. The cups were delicate with handles that curled and twisted, the edges bright with gold leaf, unlike their own plain white cups.

Rus only meant to touch that delicate gold for a moment and somehow, he accidentally tipped it over. He watched in horror as the cup fell from the shelf and shattered, a stinging fragment grazing his leg where it poked out of his short pants.

The shopkeeper was on him in an instant, grabbing him by the shoulders and shouting angrily as he shook him. Blue was nearly as quick, hastily pulling him from the shopkeeper’s grip, though that night there would be raised bruises in the shape of his fingers on Rus’s arms. Blue paid for the cup, his expression tight as he counted out the money, and they left without any of the groceries they were supposed to be getting. It wasn’t until they were back home that either of them noticed the bloody cut on his leg, marrow seeping down to stain his sock.

Blue healed that little wound silently. He never shouted at Rus, even though that week dinners were nothing more than bread and butter. He never said a word, but the weight of his disappointment pressed heavily and Rus never forgot that day, even though the old shopkeeper had retired and these days it was his son who ran the store, the same fellow who ignored when Elder Smith harassed Rus in his shop.

Memory was a funny thing and it was that day in Rus’s thoughts as he looked at Edge’s grim, silent face. He couldn’t say whether it was the shopkeeper’s fury or Blue’s disappointment he saw in Edge. It didn’t matter, he cringed from both and for a split second he couldn’t think past his own fears.

Spilled cream couldn’t be made into butter, that shattered cup that couldn’t be put back together, and Rus could only fumble with the journal, setting that brittle vellum picture back into the pages with trembling hands before he closed the cover. It wouldn’t be enough, just as he couldn’t fix that cup, he couldn’t stuff his prying knowledge back into the journal.

“i’m so…i’m sorry…didn’t mean to…” Rus stammered. He could feel tears rising and struggled to choke them back. What right did he have to cry when he was the one breaking trust with his little betrayals?

Edge only closed his sockets, hiding the fieriness of his eye lights, and he held up a silencing hand as he said, “Shh.”

Rus fell instantly silent, biting his tongue hard enough to taste salt-sweet fluid. Yet he couldn’t help the small protesting cry that escaped him as Edge turned on his heel and walked away, leaving him there alone.

He turned back to the table, looking down at the journal with tear-blurred sight.

Edge seemed so terribly angry. What if…what if he demanded Rus leave? He had nowhere else to go, he couldn’t go back to the village, he’d never survive on his own in the woods. If Edge cast him out, he’d be truly alone and as terrifying as that was, it wasn’t a match to knowing he’d upset Edge and he couldn’t even manage to properly apologize. Edge who gave so much to him, as Blue always had, his love, his tenderness, his care, and Rus could only offer disappointment in return.

He’d declared his love, called Rus is very soul and he believed Edge, he did. Except the fear in his own soul spoke louder, cruelly castigating him for his foolishness in thinking he truly had anything to offer someone like Edge.

Panic was clawing inside his rib cage making it difficult to breath, black spots wavering in his distorted vision and his whirling thoughts were a confused tangle of teacups and books, and pleading forgiveness that didn’t make it to his mouth.

He wondered blurrily if he were going to simply pass out only to wake alone in the frigid snow. The pained thought was interrupted by strong hands suddenly on him. Rus cried out, but they didn’t hurt him, their touch solid but gentle as they firmly pushed him to sit with his head lowered between his knees.

“Easy, Rus, easy.” A soothing hand rubbed down his spine even as Rus managed to gasp in a full breath of air. The darkness swarming his vision eased and his clamoring thoughts with it. Rus blinked and looked up to see Edge sitting next to him, his concern vivid as he murmured soothing words and words came to Rus then as swiftly as they’d abandoned him.

“i’m sorry,” Rus said thickly. “i didn’t mean to upset you.”

The sound Edge made in his throat was absurdly scoffing and Rus was forced to stifle an inappropriately hysterical giggle, “Upset, yes,” Edge agreed, quietly, “Not to Rus.” He took a deep breath and said very slowly in his own language, ensuring Rus could understand. “Give me a moment and I will explain.”

“all right,” Rus agreed. He leaned into Edge’s embrace, guilty absorbing the offered comfort. For once, Edge seemed to take equal comfort in him. The puff of his too-quick breath against Rus’s cervical vertebrae slowly calmed as he held Rus close.

He suddenly noticed there was a second cup on the table next to his own and he stared at it in confusion until it hit him. Edge left him alone to go make a cup of tea to calm himself, the same way Blue sometimes did after a long, frustrating day. Here Rus was, fretting that he was about to be cast out into the woods while Edge was only brewing up a pot of sweet tea. Standing in their little kitchen in his long red cloak and surely scowling ferociously at the water as it slowly heated, the vicious Monster of the Woods he’d been warned about so many times as a child as domestic as the motherly Dogaressa.

That unfortunate laughter bubbled up again, like blowing in a cup of milk with a water reed. Rus swallowed it forcibly down, snuggling gratefully into Edge’s arms. If Edge found comfort in tea and an embrace, Rus was more than willing to offer as much as he could of both.

The journal was pushed almost off the table by Rus’s panic, and after a moment, Edge reached out and drew it closer, tracing the faded gold leaf on the cover with a fingertip. His voice was hushed as he whispered, “I have not seen this in a long time. I did not know it was in the chest, else I would have hidden it away.”

“i am so sorry to have pried,” Rus burst out. He caught his breath, adding weakly, “i shouldn’t’ve. back at the village, they say curiosity killed the cat.”

Again, Edge scoffed and pressed a light kiss to Rus’s cheekbone. “You look healthy enough to me.”

It invited a watery chuckle as Edge briefly tightened his embrace. Then he opened the journal’s cover and revealed that picture again, his finger hovering overtop the fragile sketch without touching.

“you knew them.” Rus said. It wasn’t a question, it seemed as obvious as the lack of nose on his face. To his surprise, Edge shook his head.

“No,” Edge said slowly, “not them.” He turned the page, again, leafing through birth announcements and weddings invitations. There were Psalms and sayings written in between each, notions added in dark ink. The handwriting changed as he went further in, that lovely scrolling penmanship changing to spidery-thin letters, and then to bolder writing, each page carefully blotted to keep the words clear.

Not that Rus had much chance to read them. Edge kept turning the pages until he came to another sketch.

The artist was a different one, the picture a newer one. Of another young skeleton woman in a bridal dress and a flower crown, standing next to one of the Elders, though he was young enough the title hardly seemed to fit. His rounded face was one of arrogant pleasure, hers shyly smiling, and nothing about that picture explained why Edge would stare at it with such pained fury.

“edge?” Rus asked timidly. His fears were no longer for himself, but for the hurts he was beginning to suspect lay in his husband’s past.

Wordlessly, Edge reached up and roughly pulled off the medicine bag he wore around his neck, yanking it from the tangle of his other talismans. He opened it with more care, tugging at the drawstrings, and to Rus’s astonishment, from within he drew a tarnished golden locket on a chain and held it out to Rus in offering. Rus took it from Edge’s gloved palm. The chain was broken, but it was a fine one and from the weight Rus guessed the gold was no fakery. He opened it with cautious fingers to see the miniature within, of a young skeleton woman, her teeth parted in laughter.

It was the same woman, he realized. She was lovely, and drawn up over her skull was the hood from the saffron cloak of their village.

“who is she,” Rus asked, hushed.

Edge sighed heavily and offered a single word. “Mother.”

"your mother was from the village?" Rus whispered, stunned to his very core.

Edge only nodded. "Yes.”

“and she taught you village speak.” It was like finding a lost piece to an incomplete puzzle, snapping it into place to form an unexpected picture. How it was possible, Rus did not know, but the truth lay before him, undeniable.

He inspected the larger picture again. There was a certain resemblance in Edge to the young woman, he saw. Yet her eye lights were as pale as Rus’s, her teeth flat and even. Not at all like Edge’s fierce mandible or his crimson gaze, and there was no hint of the Elder in him. Doubtfully, Rus asked, “and this is your father?”

He flinched as Edge’s expression twisted into rage, directed not at Rus but at the sketch. “No! No father.” His gloved hand curling into a tight fist and the word he said wasn’t one Rus knew, spat out like a curse. Rus didn’t know what to say, what he could say, and he only wrapped his arms around Edge as he trembled, struggling for words.

“Bad,” Edge said finally, choked and low. “No father, not him, bad.” His fingers trembled as he reached out to tug a loose sheet from within the journal pages. Another sketch, this one done in a rough hand. Instead of ink, it was drawn in soft charcoal, faintly blurred before it was sealed, and showed four people; a family sitting together, two adults and two children, each dressed in long cloaks. The lines were simple and still offered much personality, the parents leaning into each other, the children appearing a mere sidestep from a childish squabble.

Edge tapped the picture of the smallest, who was drawn with an exaggerated little scowl on their tiny face. “Edge.”

Despite the seriousness of the moment, Rus couldn’t help a soft laugh. “that’s you? you were adorable.”

He was. Edge only shook his head, disgruntled. Rus leaned in, studying the picture closer. “and these are your parents?”

Edge nodded, sighing out a soft breath.

“i never knew my parents,” Rus confessed softly. He made a sign automatically, asking for a blessing for their souls. “they died when i was very young, it’s only ever been me and blue.” It was only a sketch, the details were so few, but it was obvious that the father was not the same Elder from the wedding picture. He was a skeleton, like them, and the resemblance to Edge was obvious. As gently as he could, Rus asked, “whatever happened to them?”

It was clear that some tragedy befell them, or Edge wouldn’t be here alone.

Edge hesitated, then began turning the pages again. Until he came to more writing in that same a bold hand as before, pages of it. The first page had a date at the top, some twenty years before. A true journal, he realized, written thoughts of someone from the past.

Edge tapped the page, “Make words.”

“you want me to read it?” Rus asked, astonished. Not ten minutes before he’d been worried Edge would cast him out for merely touching it and now he was meant to casually delve into his husband’s secrets as easily as he might another saucy novel.

“Yes, read,” Edge agreed.

“to you?”

Edge shook his head at that. “no. you read.” He switched to his own language to add, “and understand.”

With that, Edge gave him a last light kiss and left him to settle in and begin. It seemed the crassest invasion of privacy to read someone’s journal, but Rus was hardly through the first page before his reticence faded and he was absorbed, reading page after page of the writer’s, the young woman skeleton’s, daily thoughts.

The first entries were from a nervous bride-to-be, rambling on about her soon-husband.

After waiting for so long, this Sunday is finally the day, directly after the prayer meeting! Today Grandfather gave me our family album to take with me to my new home. I am the last of our line and marrying into the family of the Elders so there will no longer be a use for it, as our children and their lives will be recorded in the Elder’s family journal. Grandfather told me to write my thoughts and create a journal of my own, so that I might remember our line to our children when they come. I do wish he wasn’t so fussed about the wedding! I’ve made a good match in John. Were they here, I know my parents would be pleased. I wish Grandfather would be so as well.

Those excited thoughts gave way to other, less happy ones. From her first dissatisfying wedding night where she still offered excuses for her husband’s careless demands followed by other, worsening entries as she slowly gave in to despair. Her husband proved to be not the loving spouse of her fancies and instead a cruel one, commanding utter obedience and any small defiance was met in turn with brutality.

Rus barely noticed Edge bringing in fresh cups of tea though his husband made no attempt at being quiet. The cups sat for too long and Rus drank them cold, hardly tasting it, far too absorbed in the thoughts of a young woman trapped in an unloving marriage. Tears welled in his sockets as she described her husband denying her from seeing her own grandfather, though the old man was ill and wasn’t expected to survive the coming winter. All her many worries and hurts scribed on these fragile pages for Rus to follow these years later.

He read on, marveling silently as the story seemed to parallel his own too closely to be mere strange coincidence; it was more like fate, a brush from the divinity that Rus was no longer certain he believed in. On the night she ran into the woods to escape her husband’s brutality…and about the creature she met there.

I fear to even put these words to a page, though I must, for my world has changed in ways that I cannot properly understand. He was angry with me again last night, as he so often is. This night he claimed that his dinner was overcooked, though his true fury is that I have yet to provide him with an heir. I care not to write of the unspeakable things he did, only to say that when he was finished and snoring drunkenly in our bed, I fled from him to the woods.

I did not care if I lived nor died, only that I must be away from him!

I ran through the night and my terror was not of the trees before me but what lay behind. I know not how long I ran and I did not slow until I saw them. Him.

He was as it is said, a Monster, hooded in forbidden crimson and his face was that of a fanged beast. At once I no longer feared my husband’s drunken relations and instead feared for my very soul. I turned to flee and quickly found myself tangled in a snare. I could not run away and soon they were upon me.

I am ashamed to say I wept, pleading with the Angel herself that I might be spared. I expected to be torn apart and instead, the creature freed me and sent me on my way. I knew not the words, only that he was scolding like one might a lost child! I followed my own steps back to the village and he did not stop me.

I do not know what to think. Can the Angel make me understand why the one who made vows to me can cause me such pain and a Monster be the one to show me pity?

I have prayed for long days, but the Angel gives me no answers and I can make no sense of it on my own. It is a sin, but I must see him again. I must know.

My husband sleeps like the dead at night after his many cups of juniper tonic. Once I’ve submitted to my wifely duties, I will wait for him to sleep then slip away.

Rus sank back, absently aware he was blinking too hard, his sockets dry from forgetting to blink. He was lost in recollection, recalling his own secret meetings with Edge, his gentleness as he courted Rus, and yes, he could look back on it now and know he was being wooed with passionate tenderness. So unlike Elder Smith’s crass offerings, his cruelties when he was refused. His guise of civility as he claimed all his callous actions in the name of Angel.

At Rus’s elbow was a plate of fry cakes gone cold and congealed, and he scarfed them down in quick bites, wiping his fingers guilty on his trousers to keep from leaving greasy marks on the pages. To his dismay, there was only one entry left, she’d written nothing of her meetings with the creature, offered none of what was surely their own courtship. He read on, taking in her final words.

This will be my last entry. The journal I will bring with me along with the rest of my possessions that I can carry, but it will only be as a reminder. I waited only for my grandfather to pass into the light, for how can I possibly remain here when I know the truth of what they’ve done to us?

Gaster tells me truths, he speaks them into my very mind and exposes the lies that the Elders tell us.

Gaster has shown me the truth of our people and had I enough tears to shed, it would fill a bitter sea. Once we were one, before they came. The Elders, the Humans as they are called.

They made war on us, stole our homes, our children. Used us for their own purposes and taught us of the Angel and sin, convinced us that our magic was evil and allowed our bodies to grow sickly with its disuse.

The Elders, nay, the Humans, have filled our heads with nonsense to keep us under their control. Binding us in fear of our own people.

It was the Humans who drove so many of us away, the ones they deemed a threat, and kept those that they could use. Healers and workers were useful, the others were cast out to die alone, banishing any who might have challenged them.

Only they did not die. They flourished in the wood, dressing in the color of their magic in defiance, and so instead the Humans wove a new story, a new lie for those they enslaved. They called our own people Monsters and the color of their magic was forbidden to us. That is the falsehood they tell us to this very day.

It pains me to realize this, to know my life was built upon the lies of those who would seek to bind me. Who married me off to one of their own and allowed him to visit his cruelties upon me.

I will no longer be a vessel for his seed. I feared to leave for too long, afraid to break my vows, but no longer. My life will not be bound by their lies and with my grandfather’s passing, my only family in the village is gone. I shall join my true people in the wood, join him. My one, my true husband, my k’uhah.

He teases me, tells me that while I was the one caught in his trap, it was he that was snared. Perhaps, but I am bound as sure as he and my child will be born to his own people.

My false husband has given much to me and I shall give it back to him tenfold. Gaster has been teaching me to use my magic. I am not properly skilled, I will never be as I should, my power has atrophied from years of neglect. But there is power in possession and the land that I brought into our marriage as dowry is mine yet, a gift from my own parents. It is my will that nothing will grow upon it so long as my people are subjugated by the Elders, trapped by their lies in body and mind. No matter how it is tended, how diligent it is worked, the southern fields will offer nothing to the Elders, the ground itself soured by their deeds.

I go now to be with my true husband and when our child is born, it will be into freedom.

The journal ended there, without so much as a signature. Rus sagged, staring sightlessly at those last words written by a young woman he’d never met. And, he suspected, he never could.

“what happened to her?” Rus whispered aloud.

“He came.” Rus startled as Edge spoke. He looked up to find Edge standing at the entrance to the room, his face shadowed and unreadable. He spoke flatly, as though untouched by grief. “He and the others. They came to the woods and took them from me, left their dust behind. The Dogs found me not long after and cared for me, for a time.”

Sorrow filled Rus once again, he felt as though this day were an endless cup for grief. “how long ago was that?”

Edge held up ten fingers, then two more. Twelve seasons, then, not so very long ago. He’d heard nothing of this, not a single rumor ever came of the Elders entering the woods, not even under the guise of hunting creatures. They wouldn’t want anyone to know, Rus realized, it would invite others to do the same and might give them a chance to learn the truth.

Even the misfortune she’d spoken of leaving on her family’s land was unknown. The southern fields, the same place he’d slipped into the woods to meet Edge, were known to be fallow and there were rumors, fireplace stories of a curse, whispers from around cupped hands, but nothing came close to the truth. The Elders, it seemed, held their secrets very close.

Rus flipped back to the sketch of the wedding, staring hard at the drawing. Those arrogant features, had the artist unknowingly capture the spirit of his cruelty in their work? The was something about that wintry gaze, something familiar and Rus gasped aloud as it came to him with an unpleasant jolt, “that’s elder smith!”

Edge straightened, stepping into the room and coming swiftly to kneel before Rus. His voice was dry, stony as he demanded, “You know him?”

“he…he was the one who…who…” Rus couldn’t give voice to what Smith had done. Nausea rose in him to think of Edge’s mother enduring what he escaped. He held up a hand, showing only his empty palm, and could offer nothing.

Edge’s expression darkened, understanding without words as he so often did. He began to pull Rus into an embrace, but Rus resisted, pulling away. “edge, we need to go to the village. i must take this to my brother.”

Surely the weather was clear now, the Dogs had traveled all this way. To his confusion, Edge’s expression hardened further, closing over. “No, no, no.”

For him to lapse back into their old speech took Rus aback, “what? you must understand,” Haltingly, he said in Edge’s language, “my brother needs to know the truth, they all do.”

All their lives were a lie, all of it, and Rus was chilled to the depths of his soul to know it. He needed to share that knowledge with others in the village, to know he wasn’t alone with it.

He watched in confusion as Edge lunged to his feet, pacing restlessly. His cloak was gone, hung away, and his feet were bare, the bones slapping soundlessly against the floor rugs as he paced. Long moments passed before Edge turned back to him, both hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“Did you learn nothing?” Edge snarled. His words stung like a slap. “I will not take you there! The village is filled with murderers, child stealers, monsters!" He jabbed an accusing finger at the sketch, his mother standing innocently with her soon to be husband and the one who would eventually take her life. “Him! He came here, hunted them down and others! Mathon and Britta cared for me like their own for a time, then I returned here, home, alone. You would bring them back down on us!”

Rus could only shake his head helplessly, “edge, there are good people in the village.”

“murderers, all of them!” Edge spat back. His chest heaved, rising and falling with harsh breaths. It seemed to Rus they were not alone here; the room was filled with ghosts, the death of his parents haunted Edge, the unquiet dead unable to rest as they spoke from the pages of the journal.

But the Village itself did not murder them, only a cruel few, and Blue was not one of them.

“then why didn’t you kill me when you first saw me!” Rus cried.

Those ghosts loosened their grasp enough for Edge to falter, the harsh crimson shine of his eye lights dimming to shock, “I could never—you’re my soul.”

“you didn’t know that when you first saw me!”

“I did not. But the way you felt, the way you smelled,” Edge slapping his skull with a bare hand as if he could force the words to shake loose. “My soul. I could never hurt you, Rus, never.”

“but you won’t believe me! there are good people in the village, edge, our people, yours and mine! he's my brother, you have no right to keep me from him!" Rus took a deep breath and said, softly, “edge, i'm from the village. it will always be a part of me, whether or not i wish it to be so."

“No!” Edge’s voice broke, ragged and lost. “No, you are mine!”

And that was a claim that Rus could not allow, for both their sake. “yours?” he whispered, hoarsely. “would you try to own me, then? the same as he did your mother?”

“No!” His anguish ached in Rus’s very soul. Edge reached out with a trembling hand, fingers hanging empty in the air between them. “No, Rus. No.” That hand fell, leaving Rus untouched and Edge hung his head, no longer looking at him. “I cannot take you there.”

Edge turned and walked swiftly out of the room, living Rus there alone with the journal and the ghosts that came with it.

Rus stayed in their parlor that night, wrapped up in a single blanket as he stared into the darkness. He curled up miserable and alone, and what little sleep came was made restless by terrible dreams. Haunted by a young skeleton woman and her smile, her unheard voice whispering a curse down on spoiled land. Damning those who would sin in the name of their Gods.

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tbc

[neptunesnxpple]

Shigaraki x male reader Part 6

****Minors Do Not Interact****

Summary of the Series: You move to a new country- only to find out the apartment you moved into is the home base of a league you don’t even know about! This is sort of a found family situation where reader takes care the league.

Warnings/Tags for this Part: reader is a man or masc identifying, working over the holidays, spa day with the league, shigaraki finally gets to moisturize, reader is learning japanese, not a primary language

Part 1 ;; Part 2 ;; Part 3 ;; Part 4 ;; Part 5 ;; Part 6 ;; Part 7

Preview: “I was practicing reading a newspaper earlier this week, and I found something about a league. I couldn’t really make out much of it, but apparently there was this guy named Stain that caused quite a stir. A real mix of reactions. I was wondering if you knew anything about that? Or if he was also in the same league? I don’t want to assume that everyone that’s in the league lives with us, but, I don’t know…” you trailed off, smiling and looking at him. He tensed visibly, squeezing the cup tighter and jaw clenching. Your smile faltered, worry starting to replace it. You weren’t sure if you said something wrong, but this was not a reaction you expected,

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Winter was in full force, cold biting wind and frequent flurries greeted you when you left for work whether it was early morning or late at night. The store that you worked at opened a café department and had given you first pick of whether you wanted to transfer departments or not due to your flexibility. Not having much else to do you were signed up for the night shifts. Seldom did you come across another human being at these odd hours of the night, but when you did it was always quiet souls. Other people getting ready for their midnight shifts, or perhaps people stopping on their way home. You went in at around dinner time and got home before the sun rose. They had given you a set of keys and trained you on how to close for the night, the checklist of what had to be completed before the morning shift arrived hours later. You didn’t have any qualms about this change in shifts, yet Shigaraki seemed to feel otherwise.

 Neither of you had spoken about the time in the shower, although that didn’t stop things from changing. You were released back into the custody of your bed, the actual one, while the makeshift assortment of pillows and blankets remained pressed up at the mattresses edge, a shoddy continuation of such. The two of you would play videogames when you could, go to bed and wake up with the other sleeping or just settling down for the night, and occasionally you would wake up with both of your backs pressed together in some noncommittal version of cuddling. You weren’t sure what to make of the whole situation, really. Maybe that was just something he did for the league, and who were you to judge? You enjoyed it, even if it left a nervous pit in your stomach. But, that was only if you thought about it too long.

No, once you had informed the group of your change in hours, Shigaraki got very protective and seemed to stand a little closer, move seats to be nearer when you sat in the living room, and you might have been imagining things but you swore you noticed the way he watched your movements- more attentive than in the beginning months of your arrangement. It came with great surprise, you bundled up before your first shift as Shigaraki followed you out of the door. You asked him where he was going and he scoffed, rolling his eyes and picking at the scarf saddled around his neck.

 “Don’t you know it’s dangerous around here at night?”

 He offered without explanation. You walked in comfortable silence the rest of the way, the glow of warm lights from neighboring apartment buildings, people sitting down with their families to eat a meal, lighting up the narrow sidewalk. He stopped outside of the building you worked, clearing his throat,

“I’ll walk you back once you get out of work. Just don’t make me wait,” he said gruffly, cheeks pink although surely that was from the cold. You nodded and waved him off, ducking inside and picking up where the last person left off. As expected, the later the hour got the less foot traffic you had, until it was just you for the past three hours. You kept busy with the chore list, but your mind continued to wander, thinking over how much you really knew about Shigaraki. You knew his nervous habits, the way he’d pick at his skin until you’d smack his hand away- it got to the point where if you looked at him sharply, he’d get the idea. You knew that he didn’t necessarily have parents, or a traditional family, at least from the way he spoke bitterly of his childhood. You knew that he liked your cooking, more than ordering take out- he got grumpy if he had to result to that, unless you agreed to eat with him. Then he’d simmer down. You also knew he slept more in the recent times than in the beginning, the tired lines under his eyes less severe but still present. A reminder of the heavy plate he had. You knew he was fiercely loyal, determined, and at times extremely charming although not in a way you would have expected from looking at him. He always made sure the league was well fed, worried if someone showed signs of getting sick, and took himself and their goals very seriously. To fill the time, you decided to pick up a newspaper and see how far along your kanji recognition was going. You flipped through, scanning for words that jumped out- eyes catching on a headline you could mostly understand. It took a couple of run throughs, but they were mentioning a league of some sort. One that had big ideas that were controversial to the public- and a figure named Stain that had really incited the public. This article seemed to be focusing mostly on peoples reactions to this Stain figure. You made out bits and pieces- some people calling it scary while others thought Stain and his ideals were cool. You wondered if Stain was part of the same league that the rest of the gang was a part of. You couldn’t understand a lot of what was being said, and you weren’t sure how much bias was in this paper, so you weren’t going to make your mind up quite yet. You’d do a little more investigating once you felt more up for it. You tucked it away under the counter and began searching for a broom.

 A week into your new schedule, on a particularly chilly night, you handed Shigaraki a cup of hot chocolate for the walk home, turning the key and holding your own. Maybe it was the lack of adequate sleep or the comfort of the quiet evening- streets empty except for the two of you and the steam sneaking out of your travel mugs, that lead you to asking the following-

 “So, are you, uh, into guys?” you forced yourself to remain calm and casual, wanting this to seem like it wasn’t out of the ordinary. Perhaps if you put out an aura of ease, the conversation wouldn’t feel as awkward. You kept your eyes forward. Shigaraki was silent for much too long in your opinion,

 “Perhaps,” he answered, doing much the same. Your throat tightened- this guy tended to your every need when you were sick and after the incident in the shower, he had to be at least some level of into guys. You gripped the cup tighter, swallowing.

 “I am,” you announced. He made a noise of amusement at that, nodding and instead of scratching his neck, picking at the side of his cup instead.

 “Yeah. I mean, I am, too. Also into… guys.”

 You couldn’t make out his tone of voice, although it was unusual in comparison to what you were used to. Too tired to try and analyzed it, you nodded in agreement.

 “Cool.” Needing the conversation to change topics desperately, you offered one that you had hardly spent much time looking into, “I was practicing reading a newspaper earlier this week, and I found something about a league. I couldn’t really make out much of it, but apparently there was this guy named Stain that caused quite a stir. A real mix of reactions. I was wondering if you knew anything about that? Or if he was also in the same league? I don’t want to assume that everyone that’s in the league lives with us, but, I don’t know…” you trailed off, smiling and looking at him. He tensed visibly, squeezing the cup tighter and jaw clenching. Your smile faltered, worry starting to replace it. You weren’t sure if you said something wrong, but this was not a reaction you expected,

 “How much did you read?”

 “Not a lot, I’m still practicing my kanji, but I do know that some people were kind of afraid of him and the league while others thought it was kind of cool. I think, whenever there’s something new people have a tendency to be a little scared,” you shrugged, “I didn’t really get much about what the situation was or any details.” You watched his shoulders fall while his knuckles remained white. You didn’t expect much of a response.

 “Stain is… was part of the league, but not a big part,” there it was, that bitterness again, “he’s not much of an active participant right now. The real league members are the ones in the apartment. He was good for publicity, that’s all.”

 You nodded. This made you all the more determined to add more kanji to your repertoire, so you could get more of a gist about what the league was.  

 With the holiday season approaching, your hours got longer. The numbers of days you worked in a week teetering between five and six. You felt the effects on your joints, your back, neck, feet, everything was sore and tight. All too tight. You made an effort to stretch but that could only do so much. Your physical form NEEDED to sleep. Your body may feel broken, but your bank account wasn’t. That’s what got you through the upcoming holiday horror, what made you move your heavy limbs out of bed and grab some leftovers from the fridge to eat with haste before bolting out the door. With Christmas coming up, your work introduced reservations as apparently cafes were popular dates for the season. You never paid much attention to the holiday before moving, but apparently in Japan it was more so known as a couples holiday. The thought sat with you oddly. A couples holiday… Or at least one for confessions. Your mind wandered to Shigaraki, considering the idea of a grand gesture. Then again, maybe this was all completely one sided. It wasn’t like you could do much either, you were scheduled in a ridiculous manner. Despite all that he continued to walk you to and from, a hot chocolate was all you had to pay and even on nights when you forgot he seemed to let it slide.

 By the end of the holiday weekend you were ragged. Far too little sleep had left you feeling loopy, the smallest things bursting you into fits of laughter and making tiny little mistakes more often than not. You brushed it off, knowing that the following week you had off. On the last night of your hell month, you locked up and were met with a particularly jittery Shigaraki.

 “You alright?” you asked.

 “Never better,” he responded shortly. Moments passed before he acknowledged you directly again, “you’ll be hanging around at home more often now, right?” his uncertainty clung to every word. You nodded,

 “Yeah. I don’t want to do anything but lounge out for the next week,” you sighed happily, stretching your arms to the sky with a smile on your face, “I bet you’ll still be working hard though, right?”

 He hummed in acknowledgement. You approached the apartment door and heard hushed voices and movement from the other side. You slowly opened the door, peeking in.

 “Welcome home!” they cheered, a mismatch of decorations hung from the wall and ceiling.

 “We got face masks! None as cool as mine, though I’m flattered you’d want to imitate my style,” Twice struck a pose, holding out the individual packets of different face masks,

 “And candles! Also, bath salts!” Toga proudly showed her contribution to it, one by one different members of the league offered a variety of products, Magne proudly displaying her collection of nail care and colors, offering to provide manicures. It was therapeutic for her as well. And with that, the league had their own spa night, Shigaraki struggling as Toga applied a moisturizing mask to his face while Twice both cheered her on and feebly attempted to get her to stop. You melted into the couch, enjoying the company. It was nice to be around friends and family again.

 The night wrapped up with everyone crowded in the bathroom after washing or peeling off the masks, a variety of different bath salts combined in the tub while everyone rolled their pants up to their knee and either sat on the side or waded in the tiny tub, crammed together holding a hodgepodge of glasses, mugs, filled with either wine or juice depending on the crewmember.  You all laughed and relaxed, catching up for the first time in a month despite all living in the same small apartment.

[msephy]

Upbringing chap 11/13

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10

Cross-posted to AO3

Earth 53 - Jason Todd

Jason fired, aiming at Ra’s chest – but then Bruce pushed the Demon’s Head out of his line of fire. Jason swore. Seriously? Seriously?

“Goddamnit, B.!” he yelled, aiming again.

He didn’t intend to fire again, that would just be wasting bullets at this point, but it prevented the nearby leaguers from attacking him. Also, he was very aware of Talia’s presence in his back. She put her life on the line for saving Damian and would very much do the same to safe her goddamn father.

Damnit, damnit. What were there going to do now? Killing Ra’s might have distracted the assassins for long enough for them to get the hell out of there, even though they’d then most certainly have followed them all the way back to Gotham for revenge. Hopefully, on a more long-term perspective, the League of Shadows might have collapsed, though, deprived of its leader.

That’s to say, if Ra’s hadn’t come back to life. Again.

Anyway, here went his plan. What now? There was no way they’d manage to fight them all off, even with Talia’s help.

“Thank you, Detective,” Ra’s was saying while picking himself up. “Interesting reaction from you, Zila al Xu'ffasch. Or maybe you aren’t who I thought you were.”

“Seems so, old man,” Jason answered, still trying to find a solution out of this. Stalling wasn’t going to work for long. “I’m nobody’s shadow.”

“So I see.” Ra’s turned back to Bruce. “You keep interesting company, Detective. But as grateful or interested I might be, I’m afraid I won’t tolerate this interruption any longer.”

“We aren’t giving you the kid, Ra’s,” Jason retorted, annoyed at being ignored. He was the one with the gun, damnit!

“And how do you suggest stopping me?”

Ra’s tone was faintly amused. Damn. Him. If Jason had had time to prepare, he would have brought – a bomb, or something.

Except trying to outbid Ra’s hadn’t worked so far, and was unlikely to work in any case. What they needed was a change of scenery. Anything that would offer an opportunity.

“Why the hell do you need his body in any case? Ain’t your Lazarus pit not working anymore?”

“The situation has gone beyond the pit’s ability for healing, I’m afraid,” Ra’s said, raising his arms to display his diminished state. “And I would suffer no more indignities.”

“Damian is your grandson, don’t tell me you’re happy about doing this.”

Jason had been thinking out loud, but to his surprise – and Bruce’s from his flinch – Ra’s nodded. “It does pain me. Alas, hard decisions have sometimes to be taken.”

“You’re full of bullshit,” Jason accused, unbelieving. “If you’re so sad about it, why the hell didn’t you just go to Nanda Parbat instead?”

Silence fell on the room, except for a slight gasp Jason heard from Talia behind him. He lowered his gun, frowning. Was it possible that…?

“You don’t know where it is, do you?” Jason asked, incredulous. “You actually don’t know. But from your reaction, you know what it is.”

“I am aware of the temple’s existence, yes. As a matter of fact, I have been looking for the invisible map that is told to lead to it, as an alternative, but constituting the map took too long. I cannot wait any longer.”

Jason smirked. “A map, huh? What about a guide instead?”

Ra’s seemed to consider it, but then shook his head. “As glad I would be to find a solution which wouldn’t involve my grandson’s passing, you’ve just demonstrated that the bounds of honor don’t matter to you by intervening from afar in a duel.”

“Oh for god’s sake. It’s not honor if you’re making up the rules as you go.”

“Yet it is. Even if you give your word, won’t you take the first opportunity to leave me be and run away? No, I won’t risk it.”

“What if I gave my word?” Bruce suddenly said.

Jason stared at him. Bruce, giving his word for Jason’s sake? They barely knew each other! And Jason had just betrayed Bruce’s rules in front of everyone. Ra’s understood it was pointless to trust him. Why would this Bruce think otherwise?

Why would this Bruce trust Jason, when his own adoptive father wouldn’t?

“Very well,” Ra’s agreed.

As one, the leaguers put their weapons away, some still staring at Jason as in fear of him starting to fire on everybody again. To be fair to them, he kind of wanted to. What the fuck was happening?

As things were, he put away his guns. Even then, they didn’t entirely relax, but then neither did he.

“Alright, you have Batman’s word,” Jason said. “Then Talia can bring the kid back home while we go.”

“If the temple is not found…”

“Then it won’t be our damn fault. This goes both ways, Ra’s. I’m guiding you there, and you let Damian go. You can settle with my body if you aren’t happy. You should love it, it’s all pumped with pit’s magic already.”

Ra’s approached at those words, Bruce following half a step behind. Jason tensed but Talia put a hand on his shoulder and he instantly relaxed. She smiled. Damnit. Now she’d assume there was something between her and him, in the world Jason came from, which… Alright, there was, but not that way. Mostly.

Ra’s climbed the steps to the platform. Talia let Jason’s shoulder go to retreat toward Damian, embracing him protectively. Ra’s ignored her and went to Jason, looking at him in the eyes. Then his eyes went up, to the white streak lost among Jason’s otherwise black hair; and he nodded.

“I see.”

“You don’t see shit,” Jason contradicted him, just because, no. He didn’t. Even if there was green in his irises and if death had left a mark on him, it didn’t mean anything.

Except the fact that the pit, too, had left a mark. Obviously.

“So, are we going?”

Ra’s inclined his head. “Let’s go.”

Jason really hoped this would work. Now, it was him, putting his life on the line, fuck. What the hell was he thinking?

Talia took Damian away, ordering a few leaguers around to prepare their trip back go Gotham. She smiled at him again, passing next to him. Damian frowned, but nodded at him, once.

And Bruce – Bruce, too, was nodding approvingly.

Jason swallowed back the unwanted feelings of longing and delight which tried to reach him. This wasn’t his Bruce. And he didn’t care, in any case. Besides, he did intend to take Ra’s down at the first opportunity – that’s to say, after they’d arrive in Nanda Parbat proper. That way, they would have kept their word.

He just hoped Bruce would follow him on it, this time.

But he had good hope.

###

Earth 53 – Jason Wayne

Jason was very hard trying not to pace, keeping instead a confident smile on his face, not to worry Dick. The teenager had relaxed since their arrival, likely reassured that his adoptive uncle would somehow save Bruce even though they were thousands of miles apart, and Jason didn’t want to disabuse him of the notion. There was no point in both of them worrying.

“I’m glad to see you help from the computer,” Bruce suddenly told Dick, surprising Jason. “It’s invaluable, to have a second set of eyes like that.”

“I’d be much more useful on the ground,” Dick protested.

“Don’t be so sure. If everyone is at risk, who can call for help? Besides, you told us you were the one to spot Talia on the cameras, weren’t you? Neither Batman nor Jason would have been able to, from the streets.”

Dick grinned, delighted at the compliment. Jason fought back a smile.

“However,” Bruce continued. “I would have thought you’d be done by now. Isn’t tomorrow a school day?”

Dick’s face fell as quickly as it had lit up. “That’s not fair! Besides, Bruce isn’t back yet. How am I going to sleep?”

“Properly,” Jason intervened, thanking Bruce mentally for the reminder. “I’ll wake you up when we have news, if we have news. Considering how long the trip is, they might not get out of the mountains before tomorrow morning and you aren’t staying awake all night.”

“Bruce would have let me!”

“Bruce isn’t here. Come on,” Jason said, softening his done. “Aren’t you tired?”

“Aren’t you?”

“I didn’t go to work yesterday, so I’m fine, actually. Up to bed, little bird.”

It took some more coaxing to have him go, but half an hour later, Bruce and Jason were alone in the Cave. Jason collapsed in front of the computer.

“Fuck. What are we going to do?”

“Patrol,” Bruce suggested.

Jason stared at him. “You’re kidding, aren’t you? What if they call us?”

“The call will be transferred to your com and you won’t be able to teleport there in any case.”

This Bruce was way too reasonable, Jason decided. “You’re just trying to keep me distracted.”

Bruce didn’t protest, which was as good as an admission, coming from that one. He titled his head toward the cars. “So?”

“Why patrol? Nothing is happening in Gotham anyway,” Jason protested, but he stood up.

“Isn’t that worrying?”

Jason snorted. “Not really. Things are quiet, lately. I mean, not perfect, you know? But settling down.”

Something like curiosity passed on Bruce’s face. Jason smiled. Alright, now he did want to go.

“Come on, old man. Let me show you my Gotham.”

They didn’t take the car, just a couple of bikes. Those would be more practical if they had to move around in a rush. The streets were empty, at this time of the night, or rather, of the morning. It was well past midnight.

Jason parked behind a Wayne Entreprise building, then removed his helmet, breathing in the air. Not so polluted, since they managed to pass the car tax motion. Ironically, those bikes were going around Gotham illegally, as they hadn’t paid any taxes for them; though they did for the dozen or so vehicles Bruce officially owned.

Bruce parked next to him. They threw their lines and were on the roof in a couple of seconds. Jason grinned. This was more like it.

“Is that a park?” Bruce asked, pointing at a black dot with no street lamp, not far away.

“We repurposed some of the waste ground around here, as part of our effort to make the air more breathable. Incidentally, it also attracts families on Sundays and some shops have started to open at street level.”

“Must be a hub for crime.”

As Bruce said those words, a patrol car rode by, slowing down as it approached the park. Jason crouched to see as it parked and two officers got out, but apparently they were just patrolling, like they were.

“Not more than the wasteland way,” Jason answered at last. “But this is the financial district, it’s quieted down. What about heading for the Bowery instead?”

“Lead the way.”

Jason grinned then ran toward the edge of the rooftop, and jumped.

This was so freeing. Running around Gotham, knowing each of its bowels, stone and roof, its sky as well as its streets – just for that, he was glad to have followed his brother when he went to train all around the world. Even though they didn’t agree on the most efficient way to help the city, Jason would have never felt this if he had not been the Bat’s shadow.

They reached the Bowery without slowing down, Bruce following his path effortlessly, even though it was different from the city he knew. Moving like this in silence… It was shooting, in fact.

If only Bruce, his Bruce, had been safe back at the Cave, Jason would really have been able to enjoy it.

He finally stopped on the top of the clock tower, looking around to see if anyone needed help, but nobody was screaming, no gunshot echoed. Bruce peered down, frowning.

“You seem upset?” Jason asked.

“It’s too quiet.”

“Just another Thursday night,” Jason smiled.

“It can’t be that different,” Bruce said, meaning the city, their cities. Their Gothams.

“It isn’t,��� Jason agreed. “The families are still out there, and the occasional madman. But crime is not an everyday occurrence anymore. It was the work of more than a decade, you know?”

“A decade.” Bruce’s sigh was so soft Jason could barely hear it. “It’s nothing.”

“I’m far from being done. And I wasn’t alone. Commissionaire Gordon’s help was priceless. And… Our father did a lot of ground work, you know?” Jason shrugged. “I also have the advantage of being able to protect myself, so I dare to try a lot of things most people wouldn’t. Of course, having access to Batman’s information network is also a plus.”

“Corporate espionage?”

“Benefits are only necessary to provide more money we can invest in Gotham,” Jason chastised. “No. But information is key, you know that much. Knowing the city, its darker side, it makes it easier to find where to act. What to build. What technology to work on next.”

Bruce shifted. Jason looked away from the city to turn to him. He seemed upset, still, but also thinking.

“Only a decade?”

“It’s not finished. It’s far from being finished. It never will be.”

“Yet. Another Thursday night, without crime,” Bruce said, echoing his earlier words.

“Not all criminals are a cowardly, superstitious lot. A lot of them felt like they didn’t have a choice, even if they did. They were broken by the city’s cogs, by the institutionalized poverty brought by a systemic pressure put on people by exploitation.”

“I wouldn’t have imagine you to be a socialist.”

Jason snorted. “I’m not. But there is capitalism, and there is excess. We have money. We have the possibility to redistribute.”

Bruce was nodding. Jason laughed, a bit derisive. “That’s all fine and well,” he added, “but what about all the other people who don’t? Luthor and others of the same type, who don’t provide good work conditions to their workers, who don’t care about those who are too sick to keep going? Not everybody cares about people, that’s why the system has to change.”

“Are you going to go into politics?” Bruce asked, and he sounded as if he meant it.

Jason blinked. He’d never thought about it, in fact. “And leave Gotham?”

“There are local politics. It would be a good place to start.”

“Are you advising me to?”

“You’re the one who is speaking about changing the system.” Bruce shrugged. “You did a good job so far.”

Jason smiled, feeling warm all over. That meant a lot, from Bruce. From any Bruce, but especially from this older one who was looking at his city from the perspective of an outsider, yet who loved her as much as he did.

“Maybe I will. I’ll think about it.” And he would. He’d never thought that far but, to be honest, he already was doing politics – just not in the sense Bruce meant. Wayne Enterprise was an amazing tool, but to go further? To actually change things?

Hell yeah.

“Alright, now that we’ve admired the city and my own genius,” Jason joked, “let’s finish patrol.”

Bruce nodded and they launched themselves again in the city sky, shadows between her silent towers.

Notes

"Zila al Xu'ffasch" means, I hope, the shadow of the bat. I don't speak Arabic, I apologize if I got the name wrong. This is just what I came up after about an hour of research on the internet.

I hoped it would be simple enough but what google translate sent me (zila alkhafafish) didn't match Damian's name (Ibn al Xu'ffasch), so I dig a bit deeper and came up with "zila/zili/zil" meaning shadow, "al" being the possessive and I kept "Xu'ffasch" because the readers would be familiar with it.

If anyone reading knows about Arabic, please let me know the correct phrasing so I can change it if I got it wrong.

Also sorry-not-sorry about the whole politics. This wasn’t where I expected their conversation to go at all XD

Comments are very welcome :)

[foxofthedesert]

Arrow FF | Dinah x Laurel | A Christmas Miracle

Part 2 – The Approach (click to read on AO3)

After wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead for the third time in as many minutes, Laurel unties the bandanna keeping her hair back, folds it up, then uses it to dry off her face.  She takes a deep breath to collect her composure having just served a particularly ungrateful misanthrope.  It’s hot as hell in the kitchen and now she is irritated beyond belief, so to curtail an early exit stage left requires internally reciting the reason she is here at all.  A promise is a promise, after all.

Two weeks ago she was driving through the Triangle on her way home for a change of scenery when she passed one of Star City’s many homeless shelters.  Only it wasn’t just any homeless shelter to her but a thorny reminder of a bygone era in her life she rarely reminisces about.  Unable to curtail the onrush of memories, she maneuvered her car into the lot on autopilot, got out, and was through the front doors before she realized what she was doing.  By the time she regained any sense of control, she had been spotted by a staff member, a tiny black lady whose stature belied an enormous character, and could not beat a hasty retreat without making herself look like a damned fool.  So she stuck around a while to chat with the nice lady, Brenda, whom she assumed was in charge of intake but turned out to be the director of the shelter.  Big mistake.  Within five minutes Brenda had unraveled the phony story she hastily cooked up to explain her presence and had her confessing the real reason she was unable to resist visiting.  She kept her identity a secret, of course, but that did not prevent her from regurgitating some excruciating parts of her history and volunteering half an hour later to drop by every evening after work to help prepare the place for Christmas.

That first night, Laurel was nothing more than a frenetic ball of anxiety as she helped organize supplies and pick out which of the gaudy decorations were fit to put on display.  Being in the shelter brought back a lot of good memories, but it also unearthed a lot of bad ones.  It was nigh on impossible to avoid the ghosts of yesteryear lurking in every nook and cranny of a building that so resembled one she once temporarily called home.  She almost bolted for the door several times after getting spooked by a nasty neurological memento only for a resident to trundle by, toss her a friendly or gruff greeting, and in doing so remind her who she was doing this for and what it might mean to them.  Through sheer will and determination, she made it the whole night without saying or doing anything unforgivably stupid, which she counted as a major victory.  The satisfied smile present on her face as she exited the building around midnight was still there when she breezed into her relatively lavish apartment, only to fade upon realizing how fucking lucky she is to have so much when she deserves so little.  That night, curled up on her couch with a quarter-filled tumbler of whiskey and a heart laden with self-loathing, she made a promise to herself, and to one specific ghost of her past, that she would retroactively earn some of that good luck bestowed upon her by being selfless for once in her miserable life.

After that, going back to the shelter got much easier.  All the motivation she needed could be derived from one simple fact: if it weren’t for one woman’s compassion and a father’s love she would be dead twice over.  So she made good on her promise, by God, and strode into the shelter with her head held high, her back straight, and her hands ready to work.  By the third night, the staff all treated her as if she were one of them while the residents often regarded her with a gratitude that resonated down into her bones.  Ever since, she’s arrived exactly at 6:30 pm with a smile on her face and a spring in her step, ready to labor in the hope of making this Christmas the best yet for these unfortunate, downtrodden, and disregarded citizens of Star City.  Honestly, she’s enjoyed it so much she has promised to keep dropping by when she can to help out and has also already pledged to work both Thanksgiving and Christmas next year.  Being here, doing something magnanimous for people with little hope and poor prospects for the future during the season they need it most, has given her a renewed purpose outside of her day job; it has also inspired her to want better things for herself than the lonely, perfunctory existence she has occupied since assuming her deceased doppelganger’s identity.

If only Quentin could see me now.  I think he might actually be proud.  The thought creates equal measures of warmth and pain in Laurel’s heart.  

Except for her Ollie, her father – both of them – was the only person who ever unconditionally believed in her.  Her pregnant mother died in an auto accident when she was young and everyone else judged her for her many glaring flaws.  Herself included, since it was her fault her father was shot to death interrupting a robbery in progress while out late at a 7/11.  He’d been out late buying her a carton of ice cream after much extravagant pleading from a daughter that couldn’t see past the end of her own nose and whose only concern was that her craving for mint chocolate chip be immediately gratified.  She was a fifteen-going-on-sixteen year old Daddy’s girl and used that to her advantage to ply him into submission, fully aware that he was tired and probably shouldn’t have even been driving.  She has never forgiven herself for the role she played in that senseless tragedy.

Since then, Laurel has not held much concern for the opinions of others.  In the wake her father and Ollie dying within six months of one another, every single day for her was a fight for survival.  With no other family to speak of, she was sent to live in a state facility for a while, then bounced around foster families who had little patience for a rebellious teenager who was always angry at everything and everyone. ��By the time she graduated high school at seventeen, which was more due to her intellectual capacity than her studious ethic, she was so done with the system and humanity in general.  Her GPA got her into college on a scholarship, but a year later she was living in the streets and fighting every chance she got.  Not long after that, he sunk his gnarly claws into her, and within a matter of weeks she was hooked on heroin and all but a slave to a deranged, depraved, maniacal druglord who systematically broke her in body, mind, and spirit.  When she got free of him and got clean, she proceeded to burn every last bridge on her home Earth in a wave of fantastic violence that crescendoed with the emergence of Black Siren.  With nothing left to live for at home, she jumped at the chance to start over on this Earth when Zoom invaded.

Unlike most of the people Laurel knows on her Earth, she does not blame the people here for hating her.  She has more than earned their ire, even expected it and welcomed it for the most part.  From Dinah especially, and strangely enough her hatred had hurt the most – far more than enduring Ollie’s hypocritical derision.  She has only recently discovered why, though the reason matters little when the chances of anything coming of it are about the same as Felicity managing to resist filling silence with inane babble for more than ten seconds.

The only real surprise on this Earth was Quentin’s stubborn inability to let her slip through his grasp and his irrational faith that there was something inside of her worth saving.  He was the only one that saw a spark of decency still smoldering rebelliously within her, and that is counting her own opinion.  She had convinced herself she was essentially the walking dead, an empty shell of a woman flitting through life stealing and killing and fucking with casual indifference because her heart was nothing but a shriveled up knot seething with infinite pools of concentrated misery and incendiary hatred.  Quentin proved her wrong.  And he did it to the cries of foul play from those he cared about the most.  His investment in her woke something up that she honestly thought had been permanently extinguished.  He made her want to try to make something worthwhile of her life, even convinced her that it was possible she could be good again, ridiculous as that seemed.  It is for him that she turned her back on her old life.  For him...and for Dinah.

Laurel still has no idea how it happened that Dinah Drake was the first to venture into the newly reopened vaults of her heart.  There is every possibility it was because Dinah was able to forgive her for something unforgivable, something Laurel has yet to forgive herself for.  Vinnie’s death was so pointless and avoidable, so wrong that even as she was screaming his brains into mush, guilt began to take hold.  Sometimes when she’s lying in bed in the dark with her eyes closed, she can still hear Dinah’s helpless screams and see the immense love for her pouring out of Vinnie in a desperate bid to comfort the lover who would have to grieve him a second time having just got him back.  If Dinah had done that to Laurel’s Ollie, there is no chance she would have ditched the mission for vengeance without having achieved it or died in the process.  Yet for Quentin’s sake, that is exactly what Dinah did.  And she did not stop there.  Dinah has not only abandoned seeking retribution but has generously offered clemency for the highly personal crime committed against her that Laurel gratefully accepted.  But the greatest of all miracles in that fucked up situation is that Dinah actually cares about her as a person and that the feeling is fully reciprocated.  

Which brings up the other, even scarier, alternative explanation to Dinah’s taking up residence in Laurel’s every waking thought.  That she let Dinah in because of the impossible crush she’d been nursing for the Black Canary since their introduction.  

Outside of Sara, no one on this Earth is aware that she is bisexual.  Well, sort of. She has a hard time pinning down her sexuality, really, when she is mostly attracted to men and a limited subset of women.  Very limited. When she confessed that to Sara, her newly acquired sister just laughed and said the exact reverse was true for her, and that Laurel’s tastes jived with the memory of her beloved sibling, who apparently experimented in college – terribly cliché as that is – with the exact same rival sorority member Laurel had a two year long relationship with.

“Funny enough,” Sara added with a contemplative expression, “Josie had the same attitude, body type, hair color, skin tone, eerily similar facial features and voice timbre of someone we know.  Wanna guess who?”

Laurel hadn’t needed to guess since she knew.  The second the name Josie was uttered, she had made the same connection.  And though she found the comparison to Earth-Prime Laurel uncomfortable, more disconcerting was the revelation that they both harbored uncanny attractions for women that look and act exactly like Dinah Drake.  For Sara’s sake she smiled and cut a joke that fell a little flat, and then was oh-so-thankful when she was not called out for ducking the obvious inference.  But that isn’t Sara’s way.  No, no.  Sara’s way is sending snail mail from 1969.  And 1971.  And ‘84.  And ‘91.  And ‘93.  And ‘97.  And ‘01.  And ‘04.  All of the packages feature a different photo of Laurel gazing at Dinah with moon eyes that Laurel cannot figure out how Sara is getting.  And that’s not all.  Along with the clandestine snaps are included selfies of Sara – and sometimes Ava – making exaggerated kissy faces and, last but not least, an annoying, hastily scrawled note taunting her about a certain bodacious police captain.  One of the notes rather charmingly read: When u gonna woman the fuck up & make a move? Not gettin’ younger here & I need nieces & nephews 2 spoil rotten.  Get busy already dumbass!  

“When, indeed, Sara,” Laurel had replied to her empty apartment just last night. The answer, sadly, is likely never.  What she and Dinah have is far too fragile for her to risk it on such a bold move, even if she does want to as badly as she wanted to ask Ollie to run away with her to Vegas when they turned eighteen.  Also, she is fairly certain Dinah doesn’t swing that way.  Which is tragic all on it’s own, because that is a woman who deserves to be worshiped and Laurel can’t think of any man who would be suitable to the task.

So, instead of upsetting the apple cart, Laurel contents herself with the status quo.  Bantering with Dinah may be as close as she ever gets to a lover’s quarrel and a tentative touch of their hands as near as she’ll ever be to a kiss, but she’ll take it.  For her, just having the privilege of being in Dinah’s life is enough.

“Yo, Dinah, lookin’ hot back there, and I don’t just mean the outfit.”

The wry grin of one of Laurel’s favorite residents, a jokester named Lewis, catches her coming out of her thoughts.  Unperturbed his usage of her given name, which she uses here for privacy, she wipes her moist hands off on her black jeans, smooths down her red blouse, and gives him a cheeky grin.  

“You don’t say,” she says.  “Tell you what, I’ll trade sides.  You can have the heat and I’ll eat the food.  From what I heard, the sweet potato casserole is on point this year.”

“True that,” says Lewis.  “Jordie was singin’ its praises to Larissa when I passed by.  Which is why I’ll have to decline your generous offer.”

Jordie and Larissa are Lewis’s friends, or as close to that as anyone can get in a shelter.  They are always found in each other’s company when present within the facility, as beyond being friends they are all the same twenty-six years of age and all recently recovering addicts who are staying at the shelter while they look for jobs.  While Lewis is the resident comedian, Jordie is a talented musician who often sings and tickles the ivories of the upright piano donated to the shelter or plays his beat up acoustic guitar while Larissa – a sweetheart who fell into the wrong crowd and suffered dearly for her mistake – accompanies him with angelic pipes that belong in some saintly choir. Strangely enough Laurel took an instant liking to the three, which is why she stuck her neck out to get them all work.  Larissa was due to start her new job at a little mom and pop Laundromat down the street in February while Jordie and Lewis have yet to hear from the public construction foreman Laurel spoke to on their behalf.  

“Aww. That’s too bad,” she replies to Lewish, then pauses to lean in conspiratorially.  “Say.  Did Jordie ever hear back from that foreman about the job he applied for?”

Lewis’s entire countenance lights up as if he were the Christmas tree she helped decorate.  “Sure did.  He got it.  I got on there, too, actually. We start week after New Years.”

Laurel cannot contain a genuine smile.  “That’s great, Lew!  I’m really happy for you both.  Larissa, too”

“Thanks, D.” Lewis shrugs bashfully, toeing the linoleum flooring.  “I, uh, I also wanted to say thanks for puttin’ in a word for us.”

Rather than fess up to her role in getting three people jobs who actually deserve them, Laurel playfully narrows her eyes at Lewis and adopts her official District Attorney pose.  “Who said I did any such thing?”

“A little birdie.”

“Does that little birdie happen to have a name?”

“Sure does. Funny thing, that.  Her name’s Dinah, too.”

Quite unexpectedly, Laurel’s heart skips a beat just like it does just about every time she hears that name.  And while she knows it’s unlikely he is referring to her Dinah – when did Dinah become hers for that matter? – all the same she hopes against hope that he is.  Dinah being here would make an already damn good evening a perfect one.

“Oh?” she asks, brow quirked inquisitively to hide her sudden bout of nerves. “When did you talk to this other Dinah?”

“Tonight,” says Lewis, causing Laurel’s heart to stutter once more.  He then goes on to point in the opposite direction from where they are standing.  “Actually, she’s right over there.”

When Laurel follows his extended arm and index finger out of the kitchen and across the cafeteria, her breath catches and her muscles seize up and her high brain functions momentarily cease.  There, leaning nonchalantly against a bare metal support post, is Dinah Drake in all of her standard work attire glory, looking like a perfect ten model torn out of some professional chic magazine with her hair in tumbling curls and wearing a snazzy charcoal gray pantsuit with a red Oxford buttoned almost to the top.  As if drawn to one another by invisible strings, their eyes lock across the distance.  And as Dinah’s gaze bores into Laurel’s very soul, heat begins to rise through her chest, up through the column of her throat, and then spreads into her cheeks, turning them a similar shade to the cranberry sauce she was should have placed on Lewis’s plate two minutes ago.

“I’ll, uh, make myself scarce,” Lewis says after a moment, chuckling a bit at her star-struck expression.  “Thanks again, D.  And, uh, word of advice?  Don’t keep the lady waitin’.  Dinner’s almost done bein’ served, so I think the fine folks here can handle things.”

“Listen at Lewis, all wise and shit for a change,” chimes in Brenda, a mid-fifties former bank manager whose brother found life-saving refuge in this very shelter.  When Laurel doesn’t respond, Brenda gives her an encouraging nudge.  “He’s right, though.  Go on, girl.  Go say hello to your woman.”

Laurel cannot summon the words to correct the assumption, nor would she lend them voice if she could.  Like the scene from some sappy Holiday movie one would watch on Hallmark Movie Channel, the Spirit of Christmas has, in that one visual exchange between herself and Dinah, invaded her brain and her heart and conveniently erased every reason she’s ever come up with to remain in denial about how she feels for the stubborn, compassionate, brilliant woman who has given her so many new reasons to strive for becoming the best version of herself possible.  All she can think right now is how beautiful Dinah is, how her eyes glitter even in the bland lighting of the shelter, and how her smile makes Laurel’s heart start to gallop like Secretariat turned loose at the Belmont.

So she nods, wordlessly passes off Lewis’s tray to Brenda, then makes her way over to Dinah on legs that seem far less sturdy than they did a few seconds ago.  The thirty yards separating them feel more like a mile as she weaves through the crowded cafeteria.  No one dares speak to her, as if they also are cognizant of whatever mystical forces are at play tonight to bring Dinah here of all places and are thus unwilling to break the spell that has descended on them.

Stopping short of Dinah’s position, Laurel loiters uncertainly, a bit confused as to Dinah’s presence but mostly enthralled by it.  This has been happening more and more often whenever she spends time with Dinah.  A moment will happen between them sort of like this, and Laurel will just go dumb, like a kid called on by her teacher for an answer the first minute of the first class of the first day back at school after summer vacation.  It’s like her brain turns into goo or something, rendering her unable to interact like a normal human being. Actually...it sort of reminds of her of how she used to get around Ollie after puberty hit and she realized her best friend was seriously hot.

“Well, are you just gonna stand there staring or what?” Dinah asks, looking terribly amused by Laurel’s inability to speak.

“Huh?” Startled out of her stupor, Laurel quickly stuffs her hands into her pockets to conceal their trembling.

Rather than take pity upon her, Dinah smirks.  “I thought you might be coming over here to invite me to join the festivities.  You know, since I came all the way down here.”

That last bit provokes a question Laurel’s restored brain cannot pass up vocalizing.  “Why are you here?”

Frowning, Dinah glances around the cafeteria at the many people enjoying a relative feast.  “You really wanna get into that here and now?”

Laurel mentally chastises herself for being an idiot.  “No.  No, you’re right.  Sorry.  Still working on that whole manners thing.  Please, come back to the kitchen and I’ll have Brenda fix you a plate.” As she expects, Dinah politely turns her down.

“Nah, I’m good.  Don’t wanna take away from anyone here when I got plenty back home in my fridge.  That said...” she starts to shuck her jacket as she goes on, “I am handy around a kitchen.  Wouldn’t mind pitching in to clean up.  Whatever I can do, just point me in a direction.”

That is an offer Laurel is not about to refuse.  Clean up at an even like this is an ordeal, and they are already one short since Jeremy’s daughter got sick and his wife had a prior commitment at an office party.  Poor thing begged him to stay home with her instead of foisting her off on a nanny.  Laurel overheard Brenda tell him on the phone that if he left that baby for one minute she would beat his ass with a rolling pin.  The threat was only half-joking, so Jeremy obviously stayed home.

“Well, in that case, follow me,” Laurel says.  “Let me warn you, though. You might have just made five lifelong fans ‘cause of the job that’s ahead.”

Dinah returns a secretive smile.  “One fan’s all I need, and I have a feeling I already hooked her...”

The comment slams into Laurel like a sledgehammer, and she all but welcomes the delightful pain.  Is it possible I was wrong about her?  Could she really feel the same as I do?  The possibility is so thrilling she feels her extremities begin to tingle in anticipation. 

“Someone’s confident.  I like it,” she says, rising to the occasion.  Laurel has never been one to back down, especially with Dinah.

“Enough to land me a nifty Christmas present?” Dinah replies, her pretty green eyes glimmering in the fluorescent light.

Laurel will never be able to explain the surge of bravery that hits her at this specific instant, only that it inspires her to take a chance that she is fully aware might blow up in her face in spectacular fashion.  But in the moment, all she can think is that Dinah is worth the risk. 

“Maybe. Guess you’ll have to find out later.  If you’re willing to drop by my place afterwards, that is.  Clean up around here can be stressful to say the least, so I won’t blame you if you wanna go home afterward.  But, I did make eggnog and ginger bread cookies. Old family recipes, too.”

To Laurel’s immense delight, Dinah does not reject the advance. Instead as she nods her assent, her cheeks bloom with color and she tucks a full bottom lip between her teeth.  They are the first visible signs that what is happening between them is affecting her as deeply as it is Laurel. 

“Plying me with sweets is known to be an effective tactic,” Dinah then says, “so I wouldn’t worry too much about having to bend my arm. Plus, I love eggnog.  Especially if it has alcohol.”

“It’s traditional Eirlikör, so it has rum in it.  Pretty damn tasty if I do say so myself.”

Truth be told it was the first time Laurel had made it, so she hadn’t expected much.  But she found the aged recipe in one of Quentin’s collections a couple days ago and recognized it as one that her father used to make their eggnog every year.  Nostalgia mixed with heartfelt sentimentality for a man whose love for her does not vary from world to world provided a cocktail she could not turn down.  To her delight, it turned out exactly as she remembered: creamy, thick, with a flavor sort of like custard with a hint of the rum’s vanilla and molasses notes.  In other words, it was fucking delicious and she has downed more than half of it already.  

Dinah hums appreciatively.  “Never had that before, but I like rum and as I said I love eggnog, so...”

“You won’t be disappointed then.  I promise.”  

Taking another chance, Laurel reaches out to touch Dinah’s arm right above the elbow and is pleased that the gesture is accepted and even reciprocated when Dinah lays her own hand atop Laurel’s.

Staring into Laurel’s eyes as intensely as she ever has, Dinah leans in a touch closer.  So close that Laurel can smell her coconut shampoo and the hint of hazelnut coffee on her breath.  

“I’ll hold you to that, Counselor,” Dinah says, voice little more than a whisper.  

A companionable silence falls between them then that they settle into with matching smiles, lips achingly close to touching, mesmerized by the tension of an attraction that has suddenly taken control of them both.  For the longest stretch they stand there, mutually enveloped in a warm aura that drowns out the noise of a crowded cafeteria and erases the bitter hurts between them and makes it seem like the two of them becoming an us is not as impossible as it originally seemed.

Sharp whistling and a few shouted encouragements for her to do what her heart is screaming at her to finally snaps them out of whatever spell just ensnared them and caused them to almost make a scene in public.

Flushing beet red, Laurel clears her throat before doing what she actually approached Dinah to do.  “So...how about I take you back to the kitchen and introduce you?”

Dinah nods, nibbles the corner of her lip, blushing as furiously as Laurel is.  “Sounds good.  Lead the way.”

Without further commentary, Laurel spins and begins weaving her way back through the cafeteria.  Once back inside the kitchen, she is greeted by a row of Cheshire grins.  In order from left to right there is: Lisa, a perpetually peppy twenty-something of Korean descent straight out of university; Wayne, a hulking slab of muscle with the biggest, softest heart around; Don, a silver-haired ex-Disc Jockey who; and Enrique, the epitome of Hispanic charm with his olive skin, luxurious black hair, suave smile, and panty-melting accent; and last but not least, the leader of this diverse pack of fascinating people, Brenda the fearless and the overprotective mother of forty-eight broken children.  All of these people look totally normal on the outside, while on the inside they each harbor hurts – either directly or indirectly – that lead them to dedicate their lives to others. Perhaps that is why Laurel felt so safe with them; they all know what it’s like to hide pain too acute to be expressed and have it marginalized or ignored altogether by family.  Don, for instance, retired to social work when his daughter went through a rough patch not terribly unlike Laurel’s.  Lisa’s father is still living on the streets of San Francisco; she visits him once every three months. Wayne was homeless for four years after he got out of the military, his PTSD having prevented him from holding down a job and his pride from seeking the help he so desperately needed.  Enrique’s story traces back to his native Spain, where he lost a brother to drugs, has a sister in jail for illegally prostituting herself, and whose mother exposed him to things no child ought to ever witness.  Laurel knows both sides of the coin, both the personal and familial battle with such demons.  While she was a victim, her father – like the Quentin of this Earth – was an alcoholic.  There are not many places she fits in the way she does here, which is why she has no intention of abandoning them once the Holidays are over.

That said, sharing a common background, they know how to push her buttons and get a way with it.  Like they are right now, when she can’t really retaliate.  She groans at the well meaning ribbing she is about to endure, knowing they will not cut her any slack due to their solid rapport – and their never having been introduced to Black Siren.  The only Laurel they know is the one who jokes around with them while doing laundry, gets filthy crawling through a tight utility space to rewire a faulty circuit, and sings off key along with Jordie and Larissa whenever they break out early era Dashboard Confessional tunes.  She cannot express in words how amazing it feels to be treated like a person and not a public persona, a degenerate monster, or a pale imitation of the deified woman whose life she now inhabits.  And for that, Laurel is eternally grateful.  Also, it buys the Happy Fun Time Gang – Wayne’s moniker for the staff that has now been extended to include Laurel – a lot of leeway with their teasing that pretty much no one else enjoys.

“I don’t want to hear a peep out of any of you miscreants!  I expect you all to be nice while our guest is around,” she says, eyeing them each in turn as if they are children.  They all ignore her, long used to her attitude.

“We’re always nice, sugar,” Brenda says with a wink, then turns her big brown eyes onto Dinah as she points a thumb in Laurel’s direction. “This one over here has convinced herself no matter where she goes she’s large and in charge.  But around these parts, we just think she’s a cute-pie.”

“I’ve noticed,” Dinah replies, unable to stifle a little giggle at their treatment of a woman who once inspired terror in the hearts of millions as Black Siren and commands power that few can rival as District Attorney of a city as large as theirs.  

It’s frankly a bit belittling and incredibly annoying for Laurel to have her fearsome reputation shredded in less than five seconds by five foot three inch distinguished looking lady with salt and pepper hair and a cherubic visage that could fool St. Peter into granting a mischievous imp entry past the pearly gates.  And she would be really upset if she wasn’t so enchanted by Dinah’s adorable giggling. And a little flabbergasted that Dinah might actually think it’s cute when she’s being bossy.  

“Oh, God, Brenda.  Please stop before I have zero credibility left,” Laurel groans again, which incites another round of giggles from Dinah.

“Settle down now, little miss thang,” retorts Brenda with a wave of her hand.  “Why don’t you introduce us to this lovely young lady who came to visit.”

Laurel jumps at the chance to end the affectionate harassment.  For someone so physically unassuming, Brenda has an eerie way of getting her to do whatever she wants.  

Taking in a deep breath, she lets it out with a whoosh.  “That is an excellent idea.”  She turns to Dinah, then gestures one at a time toward her new friends and colleague.  “Dinah, this is Brenda, Lisa, Wayne, Don, and Enrique.  They’re all full time employees here at the shelter.  Everyone, this is Dinah Drake, Captain of the SCPD’s distinguished Fifth Precinct.”

Lisa whistles loudly in astonishment, though not for the reason Laurel assumes.  “Another Dinah.  What are the odds?”

In the periphery, Laurel catches Dinah eyeing her sharply and freezes, and not so much out of fear of her secret getting out so much as she is worried Dinah will judge her for lying.  The quirky crew that have official adopted her have all been read in to her actual who she really is.  By her own choice.  Brenda knew from the outset, of course, but after a week of the rest of the gang making her feel so welcome and accepted, the thought continuing the charade, innocuous as it was, any longer made her sick to her stomach.  To their credit, finding out her true identity did not change their opinion of her in the slightest.  If anything, it only made them respect her more because they recognized the subterfuge as proof she was not acting on some ulterior motive to promote her career by volunteering her time and effort to the needy.  Whether or not Dinah sees things the same way is another matter entirely...  

“Apparently very good,” Dinah says after a second of staring a hole into the side of Laurel’s head.  The northward tilt that turns up the corner of her sinful lips indicates she is not displeased by the deception, which is a relief to Laurel, who lets out the breath she didn’t know she’s been holding.   “It’s good to meet you all,” Dinah continues, offering each of them her hand for a quick but firm shake.   She then points idly toward the front entrance.  “I talked to Marv a bit before I came in.  According to him, Laur – er, Dinah – here has been a real lifesaver these past two weeks.”

“Oh, honey.  You don’t know the half of it,” Brenda crows, ever quick to sing the praises of one of her people.  “That girl saved our hide so many times.  Saved it, I tell ya!”  Animated as always, she springs into action, corralling Dinah by the shoulder then guiding her deeper into the kitchen as she launches into a comical version of their coordinated planning of this event.

Brenda has this theatrical method of telling a story that either has everyone in stitches or in tears depending on the subject matter. Tonight is no different.  Within seconds she has Dinah eating out of the palm of her hand as she describes Laurel’s many contributions and a few misadventures that occurred along the way.  Laurel merely watches, bashfully amused by Brenda’s embellishments and besotted by Dinah’s carefree reactions to them.  

Not for the first time, as Dinah rolls up her sleeves to start washing dishes all the while laughing along with Laurel’s motley crew of lovable misfits, she gets the sense that this place is truly magical. That it isn’t just her who has experienced a renewed connection to life by stepping crossing the threshold into a building that is the definition of mundane to the naked eye but is teeming with the gritty, noble, tragic, and resilient essence of humanity and infused the full gamut of extreme emotions that the human condition has to offer.  That perhaps this Christmas is a portent of things to come, an announcement that the suffocating darkness that enshrouds Star City on a daily basis is not a permanent climate but merely a prolonged weather front that is at last about to recede to the majestic reappearance of a fresh springtime morning.  And maybe, just maybe, the joy that floods her heart, spills over, then suffuses her entire being is indicative that what is happening between this group of disparate individuals unified under a single purpose – and most importantly whatever wonderful sorcery is brewing between her and Dinah – doesn’t have to end when they all depart these monotone halls that have housed the best and the worst of mankind.  Something truly remarkable is binding them together, giving Laurel a feeling she can’t shake that whatever force is at play in this place is far from finished with the altruistic enterprise it began this otherwise ordinary Christmas.  And that’s just fine with her.

As the business of cleaning up after forty-eight famished souls kicks off in earnest, many other tales are told about her contributions to the shelter over the past few weeks.  Laurel blushes pretty much the entire time her coworkers gush, and when Dinah looks at her as if torn between wanting to hug or kiss her, it takes all of Laurel’s willpower not take matters into her own hands, which doesn’t help with the blushing one bit.  But she makes it through via sheer determination not to ruin her utterly reputation with Dinah.  Though, it might be a little late for that after each of the gang chime in with an embarrassing story.  As if she wasn’t already mortified enough by the time Enrique is done with his yarn about her accidentally repainting a section of the facility that was just done less than a year before, Don then delivers the coup de grâce with the story of the mouse crawling up her pant leg while she was in the attic working on repairing some faulty wiring.  If the twenty or so corroborating reports are to be believed, she may have screeched so loud she was heard two floors down.  As insensibly panicked as she was, it was a minor miracle she didn’t slip between rafters and fall through the sheet rock or activate her meta powers which would have caved in the roof.  Yeah.  That was not her most dignified moment.  Dinah eats the story up, though, and laughs at Don’s reenactment of the infamous shriek dancing until she is clutching her stomach as tears of merriment wet her cheeks.  Laurel gets the distinct impression that unfortunate if not objectively humorous incident will not be forgotten any time soon.  Not that she minds too much.  It’s nice to see Dinah so happy, even if it is at her expense.

Eventually, as with all things, the fun comes to an end.  It was fun, though, doing this with Dinah.  And sort of domestic, as if they were a couple who did stuff like this in their spare time because they could and should seeing as both of them have, to admittedly different degrees, trod the valleys of life then began the long toil back up the foreboding mountain of redemption.  As far as Laurel can tell, Dinah enjoys herself every bit as much if not more since she is the star of the day and is showered with copious amounts of attention she does appear unhappy to receive.  More than the break it gives Laurel not to be the new kid on the block, she truly enjoys watching Dinah blossom before her eyes.  Or maybe not blossom so much as rejuvenate having been exposed to the well fertilized soil of people who have zero political correctness, are utterly devoid of pretense, and are as real and receptive and forgiving and compassionate as any Laurel has ever met.  Whatever terminology would be most adequate, the effect is truly marvelous to behold.  Dinah at her most disheveled is the most beautiful creature she has ever laid eyes upon.  But tonight?  Oh, tonight she is more radiant than a Harvest Moon, more august than a blanket of stars on a clear summer night, and more brilliant than the southern equatorial Perihelion sun at midday.  For that reason alone, Laurel basically floats through the grueling process of returning the facility to proper working order.

It is nearly half past ten when the final table is swiped down and the last folding chair stacked up and returned to the storage closet in the east end of the building.  By then, Laurel is exhausted to the bone but happy down to the marrow.  How can she not be?  When they bid adieu to the Happy Fun Time Gang and start down the single flight of bricked stairs, Dinah – adorably wrapped up in her coat and scarf and mittens – holds her hand.

[fafulous]

New Orleans’ Auror (TOxHP) Chapter 7

Synopsis: Willow Scarlett, the ministry’s best Auror, decides to take a long sabbatical and settles in the mysterious city of New Orleans.

Little does she know that her past comes backs to haunt her in this very city along with a particular family only Willow has heard in tales and folklore.

Co-Author: @sweetpea-cc

Chapter 1 | Chapter 6

Scarlett paced up and down as she narrated the night's events to her not-so-human family. Everyone listened with delight, especially Lucy, her cute large elf ears standing upright with all the attention. Her excitement was at its peak, knowing that the Mikaelsons actually exist. Carlisle was not happy with the turn of events - he hated vampires.

"Good Lord, ungrateful hooligans. I told you this was a wrong place to be."

"Oh good heavens sir, why do you keep saying that?" questioned Willow.

"They're so dangerous. So dangerous. It's not our world to mess with. Anyways," he let out a huge yawn that made Iris ruffle her feathers, "it's midnight and it's really time I go to sleep-"

Willow chuckled as Carlisle passed out while talking. She turned around and walked to her room, with Iris on her shoulders still and Lucy following her.

Willow's room had subtle lighting, with minimalistic furniture. A medium size wooden four-poster bed sat in the middle of the room with light blue sheets, with no shortage of pillows. She loved blue, ever since she got sorted into her house in Hogwarts- Ravenclaw. The window was clad with light green curtains, which had a direct view of her plants outside, with some black cauldrons on the deck.

On one side of the room was her wardrobe with clothes for all the occasions and the other side, which was her favorite, had her oak study with her parchments, quills, and inks. Beside the table, she stacked a few more books that were close to her heart. The walls had photos of her along with Lucy and Iris, goofing around in the Quidditch World Cup with hats bigger than their heads.

Iris perched over on the bed's footboard and watched her owner untie her hair.

Lucy finally broke the silence, "How did they look Willow?"

She chuckled to herself thinking about the night. She was frustrated with the ungrateful vampires except for the man who walked her home.

"Handsome- er. Um, they look just like normal humans," she corrected herself, being a little flustered. "That Niklaus Mikaelson is a riot, Merlin's beard. Paranoid, ungrateful, narcissistic..."

Willow went on and on about him and got into the details of the night as she changed into her hazel silk night robes. She talked of Kol Mikaelson and mentioned that she had already bumped into him that very morning.

Lucy couldn't contain her excitement. "Was he the same man who walked you home Willow?"

"Nope" she stated as she sat on the side of her soft, comfy bed, "It was the other brother, Elijah Mikaelson."

Was she smitten by the chocolate-eyed vampire? Maybe a little, she thought, as she drifted into another world of thoughts.

Lucy nudged her by her thigh and broke her bubble of thoughts.

"Yes yes Lucy, you were asking?"

The little elf gave her a smirk, almost knowing what she was thinking of. She came close to her owner, her eyes gleaming from the light from the side lamp.

"I think Willow Scarlett should sleep, it's getting late."

Willow smiled and bent low to plant a kiss on Lucy's forehead. Following suit, Iris hopped on the bed to her beloved owner, stretching out her head in anticipation of a forehead kiss too. It was an everyday ritual.

"Good night my dears," she whispered as she pecked a kiss on her owl's head. Iris flew out of the room in joy and Lucy disapperated after she turned off the lights in the room in a snap of her finger.

The table lamp illuminated Willow's tired facial features and decided to give in. She scooted and pulled the bed covers to herself, tucked in cozily. Willow recalled the night's events, only for her to keep thinking about Elijah. She smiled more as she snuggled into her sheets. It took only minutes for her to drift into a deep slumber...

---

She trembled as she walked towards the Entrance Courtyard. All she could see was blinding lights from the spells cast by witches, wizards and the dreadful death eaters at one against the other with sparks of green and red light. It was the night of The Battle of Hogwarts.

The courtyard's structure was in half-rambles, bombarded recklessly by the death eaters. Her chest was bleeding from the recent scars she had encountered from Bellatrix. Her hands were bloody, clenching her chest with her tattered clothing. The smog and dust around made Willow cough as she tried to find a clearing for her to rest.

As she walked by dragging her feet, she suddenly tripped over and fell down flat. It took her time to realize that some spell had been cast on her. She turned around to see her attacker while panting, trying to make out who it was with the smog surrounding the person. It was him.

A white blonde haired man with streaks of black pointed his wand at Willow lying on the floor with the wreckage, his light grey eyes wearing a vengeful, sinister look. He held his wand sturdily giving the impression that he would attack any moment...

"Go on. Do it, you coward!"

He gave out an eerie laugh that made her hair stand on the end and he looked at her with the same contempt.

"I won't kill you Scar. You'll be useful to me one day..."

The next thing she saw and heard was a blinding flash of green light and high pitched howls.

---

Being too short for the bed, Lucy jumped onto the bed after 3 tries to wake up a shivering, sweating Willow.

"Willow Scarlett, wake up! Wake up!" shouted Lucy as she shook her.

Willow's eyes shot open and got up in an instant. She immediately kept her trembling hand on her chest, feeling her scattered scars and her fast beating heart, and closed her eyes, trying to regain her composure.

For the first time in 15 years, she had dreamt of the war, she had dreamt of him. Small beads of sweat lined her forehead. She shook her head, pushing back her messy hair to her head. Lucy was gracious enough to wipe off the sweat with her tiny hands.

"Lucy waited till 10:00 am for your morning walk and realized that Willow didn't wake up. Lucy came to Willow's room, only to see her shivering and shaking. If Willow Scarlett needs anything, Lucy is always here."

"Don't you worry. Just a bad dream," assured Willow.

"But, there is something Lucy needs to tell you immediately."

Willow straightened herself, coming back to normalcy. "Go on."

"There's this really admirable man walking up and down outside our front yard. He tried to enter the house, but the couldn't thanks to your wonderful skills."

"Is he?" she said, as she got down the bed and made her way to the living room.

Willow gave her morning salutations to Carlisle and Iris and proceeded to look at this admirable man through the window.

Below the beautiful blue clear sky was Kol Mikaelson, looking lost as if someone had given him the wrong address. Willow couldn't help but smile. She wondered if Elijah had tipped off her house location to his brother, it has to be the only way.

"Lucy do me a favour darling and run a bath for me will you, please? The man standing outside is Kol Mikaelson."

She didn't have to turn around to see their reactions. Lucy gave a huge whoop of excitement and heard her footsteps running towards her bathroom. She also heard Carlisle's mumbling on her mistake of befriending the Mikaelsons. But nevertheless, Willow made her way towards the bathroom.

--

After changing into comfortable clothes in a matter of 10 minutes, Willow strutted towards Kol, his back to her. He turned around at her, probably hearing the sound of her footsteps she thought.

"Looking for me, are we?"

"Bloody hell, how the hell did you come from that dirt of a house?"

"So you were looking for me?" she replied, as she came face to face.

It appeared as if the Mikaelson in front of him was a bit fidgety with his words.

"Listen here Willow, about last night," he continued as he saw her crossing her arms on her chest, "Elijah would have apologized, but nonetheless I'm sorry too for my brother's behavior."

"Oh galloping gorgons, you have nothing to apologize for. If someone needs to, its that terrible brother of yours, no offense."

"None taken, darling," smiled Kol. "Shall we go for a stroll towards the compound and continue that conversation of ours?"

"Back at your unpropitious house?" asked a concerned Willow.

"Please, I'd like to repay the favor for last night over some lovely brunch that doesn't comprise of blood, at least for you."

He handed out his elbow, just like the previous night and Willow couldn't oppose to say no.

"Please?" he asked.

"It shall be my pleasure."

--

The warm sun gave them comfort as they walked and talked. Willow learned that these vampires cannot enter random houses unless they get an invite, which fascinated her even more. She went on to tell him that her house was an exceptional case since everyone, supernatural or not, needed an invite.

"Are you that powerful?" asked a smirking Kol.

"I can be humble but if you want the truth, I am kind of the best."

"Marvelous!" stated a thrilled Kol, "Quick. Surprise me with a fact," he said as they both walked into the compound.

Willow and Kol stopped in the luxurious living room. Rich decors with aristocratic sofa and paintings lined the room. Not expecting this in a vampire's house, her eyes went wide open at the sight before her.

"We um fly on broomsticks - Gargoyles what the hell is a corpse of a woman doing in your living room?"

"Ohhhh um," dragged Kol, "That is my petty brother's petty ex-girlfriend, Aurora de Martel."

Willow remained to stare at the corpse on the table, thinking which brother it could be...

Unconsciously she asked, "Do all you vampires collect your ex-girlfriends and boyfriends like this?"

"Most of the times, yes." This time it was a woman's voice. Willow turned around to see a blonde hair woman accompanied by another one. "Looks like Kol is actually obsessed with you."

Willow let out a small laugh and looked at Kol.

"Oh, dear sister. Your observations are ever perfect- where are my manners? Willow, meet my two sisters. Rebekah and Freya Mikaelson."

She waved at the two of them and then continued to look back at the corpse behind the Sofa. The woman was covered with a white sheet of fabric except for her face, her red hair shabbily lying on the table. She looked peaceful in her death slumber. But it couldn't be - Willow thought she saw her eyelids twitch, which made her heart skip a beat.

"Isn't she supposed to be dead?" she asked curiously, turning around to the siblings, with her face filled in bewilderment.

"She's under a sleeping curse," said Freya as she came closer to Willow, "But don't worry about her, it's a complicated story. Kol mentioned that you, the mystical witch, will be dropping in for lunch. Allow me to take you to our dining. Elijah and Klaus will be there too."

Willow took a deep breath and nodded in consent. She felt a bit conscious because she was going to meet Elijah and the Hybrid but nevertheless, she got a bad feeling from this woman in slumber. She walked slowly towards the door and took one last glance at the unconscious woman and she swore that she saw her both her eyelids flicker.

__

Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you all for being patient with my slow updates! Hope you're enjoying the story! :D

Taglist: @sweetpea-cc @poemfreak306 @spunky-89 @ranger-treaty @kickasskittie23 @shanty-lol @theroyalbrownbarbie

[arituzz]

Party Games 7

-SNOWBAZ-

How to fall for your enemy—A Dummies Guide

[1. Set the game] [2. Play like you mean it] [3. Keep playing and don’t ask][4. Poker Face] [5. Play dirty] [6. Show him what you’ve got] [7. (Don’t) Fall in the trap] [8. Cards on the table] [9. Play the game of love]

Summary: Playing games is an innocent and harmless thing to do. Except when you get so caught up in the game that don’t know if you are playing or not anymore, and then… Well. Then you burn

Chapter word count: ~2.4k

Rating: M

Tags: Watford, eighth year AU, alcohol, enemies to lovers, enemies with benefits, NSFW, smut, mutual pining, fluff, alternating POV first person

Also on AO3

Thank you @velvetnoodle for being my amazing beta!

7. (Don’t) Fall in the trap

SIMON

I wake up to Baz sleeping on my chest.

We’re on his bed, I think. Not that it matters.

What matters is Baz’s peaceful face. He’s impossibly graceful, even when sleeping. His hair falls in beautiful waves across his face, his nostrils slightly opening to allow the air in. His chest rises and falls as he breathes, soft sounds escaping his faintly parted lips. He looks so relaxed that he doesn’t seem evil at all. (He doesn’t even feel evil, lately.)

Baz looks fragile right now. But not the something-I-could-easily-finish-off kind of fragile. He looks like something I want to protect.

I resist the urge to tuck his hair behind his ear and ignore the Penny-like voice in my head warning me, “Five times, Simon.”

No, he doesn’t feel evil. Baz feels like home. (And I’m not getting up.) (Like, ever again.)

Baz. What matters is Baz.

Baz grinds his teeth together and clenches his jaw, which tells me that he’s about to wake up. (He always does that.) But I just… want to stay longer just like this.

BAZ

When I wake up, Simon is in the exact same spot he was when he fell asleep: Below me. Even with his eyes closed, I can tell he’s awake. (I know Simon’s sleeping face, trust me.) (It usually involves a greater deal of slobbering.)

I assume he’s pretending to sleep only because he regrets being in my bed in the first place. Either way, I won’t pressure him.

I will just…

I will just stay a little longer like this.

SIMON

Baz isn’t moving but I know he’s not sleeping. I wonder what’s keeping him from getting up.

Then I realise one of my arms is wrapped around his shoulder, immobilising him. I guess I should move it aside and free him. Yeah, I should do that. It’s what anyone would do.

But I don’t want to. (I don’t want him to go.)

BAZ

Snow’s stomach growls but neither of us moves.

Listen, I know that the longer I stay with him like this, the greater his absence will hurt me. I fucking know. But that won’t stop me from indulging myself as much I can. It’s like I’ve been presented a treasure, something I’ve wanted my whole damn life, under the condition that I had to return it the next day. Could anyone blame me for wanting that day to last forever?

Well, I’ll fucking murder time if I need to.

Simon’s stomach growls again, reminding me of how poorly he’s been eating these past few weeks. (Mostly because he’s been stressing out about playing his stupid game with me.)

Even if it’s his own fault, and even when I’m still supposed to hate him—I obviously don’t—my contradictory wish to stay with Simon is only overpowered by the urge to give him whatever he needs.

Carefully, I retrieve Simon’s arm from my shoulders and I sit up. (A bloody Struggle.)

Simon opens his eyes but still doesn’t move from my bed. He runs a hand through his messy curls and says, “Hey.”

“Good morning.” I don’t call him ‘darling’ like I did yesterday, this time he might actually hear me. Snow averts his eyes as I get dressed. When I’m done, I tell him, “I’ll go get some sandwiches.” I don’t ask him to come with me, I don’t want to give other people the chance to see him and snatch him away from me. (I just want him to stay here forever.) (Or, at least, the rest of the Sunday.)

Simon nods. “Okay.”

SIMON

I’m still on his bed when Baz comes back. He’s brought enough sandwiches to feed an entire army. “Cook Pritchard insisted,” he says.

Baz would never let me eat on his bed, so I take one of the sandwiches and settle on my bed instead. He gives me one of his death glares that probably translates into “I know it’s your bloody bed, but it’s still fucking gross.”

I shrug. Baz rolls his eyes. (Romantic feelings aside, I still like getting under his skin.)

Baz doesn’t like eating in front of people. He never does. But I know he eats when no one can see him. (Like at night, when he thinks I’m asleep.) After going with him to the catacombs yesterday, I thought he’d be past this. But he isn’t, apparently.

“Uhm. Do you need to… You know, get back to the catacombs?” I ask.

Baz avoids my stare. “Not yet,” he says, but still doesn’t eat.

I take one of the sandwiches and give it to Baz. “Just eat.”

“Uh… I’m not hungry.”

“Baz,” I say. “It’s fine. I… I like it.” I like you, I think, but I don’t tell him.

Reluctantly, Baz takes the sandwich and gives it a bite.

I don’t know why but that makes me smile. Like, Smile, capital S. Shit-eating grin, with teeth and all. Baz will never admit it but I can see him fighting back a smile.

When we’re done with breakfast—or lunch, I don’t know—Baz spells my bed clean of breadcrumbs.

I don’t want to leave the room—I don’t want to leave Baz—so I take out my magic words homework and sit on my desk. “Uhm… Baz?”

He cocks an eyebrow at me. “Yes?”

“Can you help me with this?”

BAZ

Snow actually listens to me while I explain him what’s wrong with his homework exercises. He doesn’t protest, he just nods along and corrects them. I have to admit he’s not that bad at it when he tries.

When we’re finished, I regret not having explained it all wrong to him, so now I could have an excuse to go over the exercises again. (And stay more time with him.)

Snow grabs the papers to put them back into his bag, but Simon can’t help being Simon—not even for a bloody day—and he cuts his finger with the paper sheet.

A drop of blood appears on the tip of his index finger and I have to remind myself to stay put.

Simon notices my distress and starts walking towards the door. “I’ll go--”

“Don’t,” I shout after him. He stops on his tracks, turning around. “You don’t need to go,” I say. “I can help.”

“Okay.”

I take his finger and cast Get well soon.

And then I kiss it.

SIMON

There are only two explanations: Either I’m dreaming, or I have magickally stepped into a parallel dimension. (I think the first one.)

That, or Baz is really kissing my finger.

But that’s impossible, right?

I want him to stop kissing my finger and start kissing my lips instead.

BAZ

Simon is looking at me in that way he does, that tells me something incredible is about to happen.

SIMON

Baz’s lips are so close and I can only think about kissing him. It seems that’s all I can think about, lately.

BAZ

We kiss, like we’ve done so many times before. Except, this time, it’s me who starts the kiss.

I kiss him, because I’m an idiot. Because I’m stupidly in love with him. And because a small part of me—an awfully dumb one—believes he can also, maybe, someday, love me back.

SIMON

It’s a soft kiss. Baz’s hands are on my face and I put my arms around his neck.

Baz lets out a low moan against my mouth and I… want to stay like this forever.

But this isn’t a dream.

This isn’t a parallel dimension, either.

And yeah, there is a third explanation: Baz is still playing the game. And I’m an idiot and have fallen in his fucking trap.

I let go of him.

I make sure to slam the door behind me as I run away from Baz.

BAZ

I don’t dare follow Simon.

I knew it. I’ve always known. Since Simon started his idiotic game, I fucking knew that sooner or later it would end. Still, I can’t believe I was so bloody foolish so as to hope he would get feelings for me along the way.

SIMON

I’m on the ramparts before I know what I’m doing.

I sit on the floor, around the same spot Baz and I were yesterday. Placing my palms on the ground, I rest my weight on my hands, and I look up at the sky.

Even though it’s not completely dark yet, I try to remember where the Perseus constellation is supposed to be. As I do, my hand makes its way to my chest, tracing the moles I have there, the same way Baz did yesterday.

The wind blows against my face, making me shiver. That’s weird. I’m always warm, and I’d swear yesterday night was even cooler. Plus, Baz was here, and he’s freezing. But somehow I feel colder today. Is it possible to physically miss someone? Because I think that’s what’s happening to me.

Baz. I fucking hate him.

(I don’t.)

Merlin.

I sigh. Because what else can you do when you realise you’re stupidly in love?

I just fucking miss Baz.

BAZ

When Simon gets back to the room, it’s way past midnight.

The last thing I want now is dealing with him rejecting me—again—so I pretend to be sleeping. I’ll deal with that tomorrow. Or never.

SIMON

After everything that happened this weekend, going back to the weekday routine seems as easy as learning Arabic in one afternoon.

During magic words, I almost lose my shit. We go through the exercices I did with Baz yesterday and my traitorous thoughts can’t stop providing me very vivid images of Baz kissing me. Also, the tosser keeps sending glances over at me, so he makes sure that not even a second passes without me acknowledging his existence. (As if I weren’t already hyper aware of it.)

By lunchtime I’m about to go off.

BAZ

I take another swig of my tea as I regret every last decision I’ve made in my life.

Dev is telling Niall how “sparkling” and “deep” his eyes are. I roll mine for the umpteenth time. Niall actually fucking blushes and draws Dev closer to him, kissing his lips, no consideration towards me whatsoever. I am fucking family, for Crowley’s sake.

And after Snow rejecting me yesterday, the last thing I need is a live display of teenage hormones.

Speaking of which, Snow is about to go nova at the other end of the dining hall. I wish I could go there and calm him down, like I did the other day.

But I fucking can’t. I have no right. Snow made sure of it.

SIMON

“Staring at the plate isn’t going to make the food disappear,” Penelope says, bringing me back to reality. “I thought you loved Watford’s roast beef.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m just not hungry.”

Penny furrows her brow. “What are you sorry for?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Everything?”

“Simon,” she says, shifting her position on the chair so that she’s facing me. “Stop thinking everything depends on you.”

Penny’s gaze lacks its default accusatory, judgmental, undertone. Her expression is soft, and I think she’s worried about me. But that makes me feel worse. I don’t want her to worry, it’s not her fault. It’s Baz’s fault. Everything is Baz’s fault.

I stare at him. He catches my eye momentarily and then looks down at his tea, his hand playing with the spoon. And I can’t help but wonder if he’s okay.

I look back at Penny. “Simon?”

I don’t say anything—I can’t, really—I just take her hand and look her in the eye for a moment. I glance at Baz, then stare back at Penny again. And she just knows. She knows what I’m trying to say: I’m in love with him.

I love when I don’t need to use words to make Penny understand me. I don’t think I’d be able to tell her everything out loud.

She doesn’t say “I told you, Simon,” which would be fair. She squeezes my hand, meaning: “I know.”

I bite my lip and squeeze Penny’s hand back.

She twitches the corner of her lips into a tiny smile, which means, “I’m here.”

I wonder if Penny has cast a silent spell or something to make me feel better, because it’s like magic: Even though everything is exactly the same, my mood is instantly lifted. And I know I’ll survive. I mean, I’ve killed a dragon; surely handling unrequited love can’t be that hard.

I smile back at her.

Slowly, an idea starts to take shape in my head, and by the end of the day I’m sure of it: I want to try it with Baz. The friendship thing. This could obviously also be a part of his evil plan but, whatever. I’ve decided I’d rather be Baz’s friend than his nothing-at-all.

I don’t know, I just fucking miss him.

BAZ

When I get back to the room, Simon is already there. He’s pacing nervously across the small space in the room. “Snow. Stop.”

Simon stops to look at me. “I—” he starts. Then, he avoids my stare and starts pacing again.

“Just sit the fuck down.”

Simon obeys me, sitting on the chair before his desk, only to start tapping his foot against the leg of the chair.

Asking Simon to calm down is like asking a stone to start speaking. (Stupid. Pointless.) I sigh. “What is it, Snow?”

Simon looks back up at me. He swallows and says, “I like this.” My heart does a little flip, because I imagine him saying, “I like you, Baz.” But instead, he continues, “Being friends. I like it better than fighting.”

Still, it’s more than I’d ever hoped for. “Fine,” I say, my voice breaking.

Simon stands up and comes closer. And then he hugs me.

My knees almost give out. Crowley, he can’t just go and do shit like that without a warning.

When I’m recovered, I melt into his arms like the weak person that I am. Because I love him. And he likes this better than fighting.

SIMON

Baz hugs me back.

Okay, yeah, I’m like so deep into his trap that it’d take me years to find the way out.

But I don’t care. I don’t want any way out. I’d gladly fall in it again—fucking jump right in—if that meant one single more moment like this with Baz.

-TBC-

(snowbaz fic masterlist)

[hari-writes]

Little Louis Dupain-Cheng - Chapter 11

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Pairings: Adrien/Marinette Summary: In the seven years since Hawk Moth’s defeat, much has changed. Adrien Agreste PhD returns to Paris and is reunited with his friends. Marinette has a degree in Fashion Design, a thriving boutique and a son, six-year-old Louis. Louis is like his mother in many ways, except for green eyes and a familiar smile… Will Adrien do the maths?

Read on A03 ★★★ Buy me a coffee?

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

Up to the test when things go wrong

By the time each of them had given their statements to the police, it was past midnight. Word was already spreading about Gabriel’s capture and reporters were starting to gather along the police line. One recognised Adrien and called out to him for a statement. Kim held a hand out to the group of journalists.

“No comment.” He said.

Nino’s phone had been taken away by a crime scene technician to process the recording and Marinette realised that she had dropped hers in her hallway when she grabbed her shoes. Kim and Adrien had theirs, but the batteries had run down so they decided to walk back and call their loved ones from Marinette’s home.

The group trudged back, the journey taking them twice as long as it normally would due to their exhaustion. Nino carried Louis in a piggyback until he fell asleep, then Kim carried him the rest of the way in his arms.

They reached the bakery and when her parents heard her arrive, they insisted that everyone come inside. Tom and Sabine had come home to find Marinette gone and her phone on the stair, they called Alya, who filled them in on what she knew. After that, they hadn’t gone to bed.

Strong sweet tea was dispensed and Sabine encouraged the friends to talk about the evening’s events.

“It will help you process everything if you vocalise it.” Mrs Cheng said, “We’ve had a little experience in this.” She ruffled Marinette’s hair.

The conversation began hesitantly until Alix mentioned the thing nobody else was saying.

“He called you Ladybug, Mari. Are you?”

“I was.” Marinette nodded.

“Woah.” Alix gasped. “That’s awesome. My friend is a superhero.”

“Was,” Marinette repeated.

“At least that explains your Wonder Woman impression in the park this week.” Kim huffed.

Marinette laughed. “I don’t have superpowers anymore, Kim. That was...”

“Wait,” Kim interrupted, “Nino called you Ladybug when we were outside the tower. How did he know?”

“Carapace.” Nino said and gave a little salute.

Kim and Alix’s jaws dropped.

“While we’re sharing…” Adrien decided to add. “Hi, Chat Noir.” He waved.

“But, guys,” Marinette took her chance to speak while Kim and Alix were still stunned into silence. “This needs to stay a secret, okay? We’d never have a normal life if the press ever got wind of who we used to be.”

“Of course,” Kim nodded.

“Your secrets are safe with us.” Alix agreed.

With the air cleared, the group talked into the morning, Louis alternating between sleeping on Marinette’s lap and joining in the discussion. Adrien felt cleansed by sharing the experience, but couldn’t shake the guilt that his friends and Louis were only in that position because of him. It was everything he left Paris to avoid.

He watched at Marinette as she stoically encouraged her friends to process the evening’s events, in the same way she’d helped Nino, Alya and Chloe deal with the aftermath of being teenage superheroes. When Louis was awake, she prompted him to talk about his feelings about the night. Adrien listened to Louis as he talked about his fear and confusion when Gabriel turned up.

“I knew that nothing bad was going to happen, though, because Uncle Adrien was there and he was looking after me,” Louis said. “I knew he’d keep me safe.”

»»★««

Alya picked Nino up from the Dupain-Cheng’s at 6am and she offered to drop Alix and Kim at their homes, too. Sabine and Tom were already in the bakery, preparing for the day ahead. Marinette called her Saturday girl and told her the boutique would be closed for the day she wasn’t quite ready to let Louis out of her sight. Adrien held Marinette and Louis, not wanting to leave them.

“I’m sorry.” He was repeating. “I’m sorry.”

“Adrien,” Marinette said firmly, “None of this is your fault. Gabriel is not your responsibility. Please understand that.”

“But, you could have been hurt.” He tried to argue, “You put yourself between me and a blade.”

“You’re hardly one to talk, Chaton. You took an arrow for me once, remember?” Marinette smiled. “You protect the ones you love, so do I.”

“Louis was caught up in it all. If anything happened to him, I’d never forgive myself.” Adrien said.

“Look at me,” She shifted to face Adrien, staring into his eyes, unblinking. “This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. You protected Louis, I saw that.”

Adrien looked to Marinette’s lap where Louis was dozing again. His face was peaceful as he slept. He gazed at the boy’s pink cheeks and mussed hair, watching as he breathed slowly. Adrien stroked Louis’s hair, moving it away from his face, aware that his own hair was falling into his eyes too.

“I love him, Mari.” He looked at her trying to convey his seriousness. “I can’t explain it, but he feels like the thing that’s been missing from my life.”

Marinette looked back at him, sadness shining in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, then stopped herself. Chewing her bottom lip, she steeled herself.

“Adrien, about what Ga…”

“Guys! You have to see this.” Alya burst through the apartment door, waving a newspaper.

Louis startled in his sleep but didn’t wake up. Alya had the grace to look a little guilty for her intrusion, but the fire in her eyes told them that she had something important to share. She placed the paper in front of Marinette and Adrien, standing back with arms crossed above her baby bump. They leaned over the newspaper and saw the article Alya wanted them to read.

HAWK MOTH TO STAND TRIAL

After an unprecedented standoff in the Observatory of Sorbonne, Gabriel Agreste has been captured.

Agreste, the mastermind behind the terrorist known as Hawk Moth, escaped a secure mental health unit early this week, finally surfacing last night to threaten his son, Adrien, 25, at knifepoint. Agreste Jr. has recently returned to Paris, having been absent since Agreste Sr.’s first arrest.

Police sources commended the quick actions of an associate of young Agreste, whose bravery prevented the situation from escalating. During the altercation, Gabriel Agreste was heard admitting that he was pretending to have a mental condition in order to prevent trial. In a statement to the press this morning, Detective Inspector Patron of the Paris Gendarmerie has confirmed that the Ministère Public will be moving forward with prosecution.

Prof. Cerveau, Head of Paris SMHU, where Agreste was being treated for an acute Psychotic Break following his unmasking as Hawk Moth, released this statement. “We wish to assure the public that we have increased security at the facility and we have launched a full investigation into how M. Agreste was able escape and how his absence went undetected for so long. While it is no excuse, we wish to remind the public that the villain Hawk Moth was an empath and, although we don’t know for sure if Agreste has residual powers, we do believe that this has made for a singular situation.”

Prof. Cerveau refused to comment on the claims made by Agreste that he has been faking his mental state to avoid prosecution.

A spokesperson for Adrien Agreste declined to comment.

Adrien stared at the newspaper, tears prickling his eyes. He felt relief that Hawk Moth would finally stand trial and be forced to face up to everything he did, and trepidation that the court case would be an emotionally tortuous experience for all involved.

Would he be asked to testify? Would Ladybug and Chat Noir be compelled to give evidence? How would he and his friends deal with the press coverage during the whole process?

[ilvsyzj]

Chapter Ten: Settling In and First Day of Class.

12/1/2020, Tuesday, Week 1, Day 0- Continue:

      After Sebastian left. We went to our respected floors and rooms. Sky and my room was the largest one in the house. Because our room look over the lake in the forest. Sky and I put away our belongings. I noticed there was a little black board hanging above our desks. I took it down and wrote some rules for the both of us. Just 5 simple rules. Captain and Co-Captain Rules: 1) No PDA during the day, 2) No eating in the room, 3) Exercise 3 times a week, 4) Keep the room clean, and 5) Work hard. When Sky saw the rules he didn’t say anything but smile. Then I heard a small meow. 

Jazzy: You brought your cat? -surprise-

Sky: Mhm. I brought Toothless with me. Because I can’t leave the little guy at home alone. My family won’t take care of it while I’m here. -taking Toothless out of his cage-

Jazzy: -excited scream- How cute! :) 

Sky: -smiling-

Jazzy: How old is he? -excited-

Sky: 8 weeks. :)

Jazzy: Hi little one. :) What its name?

Sky: His name is Toothless. :)

Jazzy: Hi Toothless. :)

Toothless: -soft meow- 

Sky: -smiling- 

Jazzy: Can I hold him?

Sky: Mhm. -handing Toothless to Jazzy-

      When I hold Toothless in my arms. Toothless start purring loudly. A few minutes later Toothless fell asleep in my arms. That’s when Sky told me the truth. 

Sky: I actually read your blog and saw that you always want a black cat named Toothless. So, I decided to go to the Puppy and Kitten Adoption Center, and I adopted the little guy. Toothless is my gift to you. It’s an early birthday gift. -blushing- 

Jazzy: Thank you. I love it. :) Now, I’m going to have a hard time getting you a birthday gift. Let alone a Christmas gift. 

Sky: You’re my Christmas gift. -blushing-

Jazzy: -blushing- Are we allow to have pets in here?

Sky: Uh...I haven’t thought about that. Let me look in the handbook. 

     A few minutes later Sky found the answer. It turns out we are allow to have pets at HQ. Just as long as we keep our pets inside the house, and not let our pets roam around the grounds. Because there are dangerous wild animals running around grounds, that can attack, kill, and eat our pets. So Sky and I decided to keep Toothless in our room. Since he’s still so little we don’t want anything to happen to him. I put Toothless in his bed and he continue to sleep. Sky put some food and water in Toothless’ bowls. We left our room and went to the Common Room to eat dinner. Eating is the only time we got to know each other. I found out that everyone is so nice and respectful to each other. I didn’t sense any jealously from either of them. The pack does work. I felt like everyone aren’t each other’s soul mate. They act more like siblings. I feel that our team and the Healers are one big happy family. 

Rich: Do you guys have a cat in the house?

Sky: Jazzy and I do. Are you allergic?

Rich: No, I’m not allergic to cats or dogs. I love animals. I also brought a pet to the house. A small puppy. My parents gave to me as a going away present. My puppy is going to be in my room most of the time. I’m just letting everyone know incase you hear barking or loud shouting coming from my room. 

Sky: Good to know. Toothless is going to be in our room most of the time. Since he’s so little and I’m afraid that he might run out of the front door. 

Everyone: Mhm. 

Jazzy: Alright. Let’s clean up and go to bed early. We all have an early start. 

Everyone: Mhm. 

   So we all cleaned up. Did the dishes. And said goodnight to one another. Sky and I returned our rooms. Sky took a shower and I looked through my calendar for tomorrow. It turns out all of R.M.C. has classes together for Basic Training. We start at 9 am. I set my alarm for 7 am. After Sky came out of the bathroom I let him know about tomorrow. He agreed. We both got a text from the other members of R.M.C. and they have the same thought as I did. Which is good. Then it was my turn to take a shower. 20 minutes later I came out of the bathroom. That’s when I noticed that our room has one King size bed. I felt a little nervous. Sky could sense it and said that he will sleep on the sofa and I can have the bed. I shook my head and told him that we can share the bed. I don’t want him tossing and turning all night. I want him to be comfortable. So, we climb into bed. Said goodnight and Sky turned off the lights. 

-End of Day 0-

12/2/2020, Wednesday, Week 1, Day 1:

      The next morning at 7 am my alarm went off. I turned it off. As I start to wake up from my slumber. I noticed that Sky was hugging me. I smiled. I loved that he was hugging me, because I felt safe in his arms. Sky was awake when I rolled to face him. 

Sky: -smiling- Morning Princess. 

Jazzy: -smiling- Morning sweet Prince. 

Sky: -leaning in and kissed me on the cheek- Acceptable?

Jazzy: -nodding- Mhm. -kissing him on the cheek- 

    I rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. 5 minutes later I came out and got dress. Sky went to the bathroom to get ready. I fed Toothless breakfast and I got my stuff ready for the day. When Sky came out of the bathroom, he too pack up his back pack. We said goodbye to Toothless and went to the Common Room. Everyone member of R.M.C. was already there. Eating breakfast. Mike was the one who made breakfast for everyone. It turns out that Mike woke up at 5 am to prep everything. I also found out that Mike will make breakfast for us and the Healers, Phil will make lunch for us and the Healers, and Simon will make dinner for us and the Healers. It turns out that Mike, Phil, and Simon loves to cook. What I was most surprise was that there was already a chore list, hung in the kitchen door way. I saw that Sky is responsible for taking out the trash every day, I was responsible for doing the dishes on Tuesdays. I hate doing the dishes, but I saw that there was a dish washer in the kitchen. I sigh a relief. The chore list was long, but all of us have a job to do for the next 6 weeks. I smiled. 

Sky: We are very responsible. Our parents taught us well from a young age that we have to clean after ourselves. By doing chores was taught to us at very young age. We don’t like it. But we have to do it because it’s part of life. 

Jazzy: You guys sure are full of surprises. :)

Mike: There’s more. :)

Jazzy: Surprises? 

Mike: Mhm. :)

Rich: For example, who ever doesn’t do their chores have to eat 1 sour VC mixed in a handful of Bean Boozled flavor jelly beans. :)

Jazzy: Yuck. 

Everyone: -laughing- 

     Today is Wednesday so it is Charlie’s turn to do the dishes. Without complaining Charlie collected all the dishes, rinsed the dishes, and put all the dishes into the dish washer. Then we went into the elevator. Our classes take place in the basement. A few minutes later we got out of the elevator. There was a sign that said, “R.M.C. Classes to the left. Healers Classes to the right” The girls wave goodbye to the R.M.C. members as we went our separate ways. When the R.M.C. members walked into class. I almost had a heart attack. My father was inside the room. I can’t believe that my father is going to teach us Basic Training. We took our seats as class began. 

Mr. Tam: Good morning. :)

R.M.C. Members: Morning. Counselor Tam. 

Mr. Tam: Today, I’m going hand out your class schedules, journals, and iPads. Use these iPads only for your courses. Nothing us. Because in the past the Elders had found inappropriate things on these iPads. The Elders had to block a lot of sites. Also, the punishment for any misuse of these iPads is spending a whole month assisting the King. 

R.M.C. Members: Understood. 

Mr. Tam: Good. 

    Mr. Tam handed out the class schedules, journals, and iPads. When I saw my class schedule I wasn’t surprise. Every day for the next 6 weeks class begins at 9 am and ends at 4 pm. This is what our class schedule looks like, Monday, 9 am - 12 pm, History. 12 pm - 1 pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4 pm, Work Study. Tuesday, 9 am 12 pm, Spell Casting part 1. 12 pm - 1 pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4 pm, Spell Casting part II. Wednesday, 9 am - 12 pm, Basic Physical Training. 12 pm - 1pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4 pm, Work Study. Thursday, 9 am - 12 pm, Potion. 12 pm - 1 pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4pm, Work Study. Friday, 9 am - 12 pm, Review. 12 pm - 1 pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4 pm, Work Study. Saturday, 9 am - 12 pm, Clean Up part 1. 12 pm - 1 pm, Lunch. 1 pm - 4 pm, Clean Up part 2. Sunday is rest day. It’s going to be a very packed 6 weeks. 

Mr. Tam: Okay, lets go through your schedules. On Monday, you will have me as a professor until lunch time. Lunch and Work Study you’re all on your own. Each day you’ll have a different professors. The only time all 16 of you will have classes together is on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. As you all can see on Tuesdays there are two different lessons. One for the Elements and one for the Non-Elements. So use your time wisely. Any questions about your schedules?

R.M.C. Members: No Sir!

Mr. Tam: Okay. Moving on to journals. Open up your journals and you will see your assignments for each subjects. Sebastian will come and collect your journals on Fridays, at midnight. Be sure to finish all your assignments by Friday at midnight. No exception. For any unfinished assignments you will get a 0 on the assignment. Your History assignments are worth 10 points, Spell Casting assignments are worth 15 points, Non-Spell Casting assignments are worth 10 points, Work Study assignments are worth 5 points, Potions assignments are worth 20 points, Review assignments are worth 25 points, and Basic Physical Training are worth 30 points. For a total of 115 points for all assignments. There are mid-terms on week 3 which is worth 50 points and a final on week 6 which worth another 50 points. For your final grade you have to get a total of 215 points. At any point during these next 6 weeks any of you are below 215 points, for example, you only did 1 week of assignments and you have 100 points. Then you just put your journal in a drawl and totally forget about it for the next 5 weeks, and you get 2 points on both your mid-terms and finals. Your total points of 104. You will not move on to next training stage. You will repeat the Basic Training stage. If you don’t want to repeat your Basic Training and decide to leave R.M.C. then that’s fine with the Counsel and the King. We will not keep those who don’t want to do the work. Any questions about your journals?

R.M.C. Members: No Sir!

Mr. Tam: Okay. Moving on to iPads. Basically all your textbooks, review questions, assignment questions, practice quizzes, exams, mid-terms, and final questions are in the iPads. Don’t even try to go on the inappropriate sites because they are all blocked. Oh, one more thing about your assignments this is for all your classes, please write down the questions in black ink and your answers in blue ink. You’re to turn in your iPads every Saturday along with your journals. When you get your iPads and journals back on Sunday night, you’ll get a text alert on your phones with your grades. On your iPads there would be comments from your professors and Sebastian, that you all must read and sign. Each time you sign these Comment Pages you’ll get an extra 5 points. Don’t cheat the system. We will know if you did your assignments or not. Cheating the system will automatically get thrown out of any training stage you’re in. Once you get thrown out of a training stage you can’t get back into Royal Court. Not even if you beg the King. Once you’re out, you’re out for good. There’s no next time or second chances. Because there’s no second chances in real life when you’re in a war. Understand?

R.M.C. Members: Yes Sir! 

Mr. Tam: Good. Now, -looking at his watch- we still have plenty of time left. We will go into our first history lesson. Tap on your History app and flip to page 5.

    My father started our lesson. Chapter 1 of Mythical Kingdom was about how the King ancestors fought countless wars to get the freedom we have today. All these wars in the past were super bloody. A lot of mythical creatures and humans has died from these wars. I finally understand that my parents lived through dark times. In Mythical Kingdom there are 30 clans. Each of these 30 clans gets smaller each year because of these wars. Only recently that these 30 clans are getting back to normal. The bloody wars almost destroy the humans. There are humans living in Mythical Kingdom. We rarely see the humans because all the humans are homeless people. There are only 100 humans left and they are all humans. This problem hasn’t been taken care of. Because the past Kings never bother with this problem. The past Kings think that all humans are useless. The humans are only helpful are in wars and still they end up dead in less then 20 minutes. King You still didn’t do anything about the human population. King You said that the humans are beyond help. Why bothered. 

Mr. Tam: -looking at his watch- Okay we have 10 minutes left. Your assignment is to write one to two pages answering an question. You’ll find your question and further instructions on the Assignment app. Any questions?

R.M.C. Members: No Sir!

Mr. Tam: Okay. Class dismissed. 

    We packed up and left for lunch. Phil ran into the kitchen to start making lunch. 20 minutes later lunch was serve. While we were eating lunch we were talking about our morning. I on the other hand felt kind of sick after my history lesson. So I didn’t eat very much. But Phil made lunch on the blander and softer side of things. Because I almost puke during class. My father can describe things in gruel details. I thank Phil for the bland and soft lunch. Phil and some of R.M.C. members were feeling a little sick after our history lesson. So I wasn’t alone. After lunch Charlie collected the dishes, unload the dish washer, put the clean the dishes back on to the shelves, and load the dish washer. The Healers went back to the basement to continue their day lesson. While the R.M.C. members went to our Work Study. Which turns out to be in the Common Room. Basically, Work Study was a group study. It is the time for us to do our homework and study. 

    We all started our assignment. No one said a word. Well, Rich started to complain. He doesn’t like doing homework. Rich complained for a good 30 minutes until Mike and Phil told Rich, that if he completes homework early he doesn’t have do them on Fridays. Rich sigh and quit his complaining and did his work. The assignment was very easy to do. The question was If you can solve the human problem how would you do it and why. From the notes that I took and reading Chapter 1. I finished my assignment in 2 hours. I wrote 4 and half pages. I began doing End of Chapter 1 questions, even though it’s next Monday homework. But I like to get some of these homework done ahead of time. By 4 pm all of us were done with our first assignment. I on the hand finished 4 Mondays worth of assignments. Sky did the same thing. Simon went to kitchen to cook dinner. The Healers classes end at 4 pm as well. So while Simon was cooking dinner we went to our rooms to shower and take a break. 

     Sky and I make sure Toothless was okay. Which of course he was perfectly fine. I fed Toothless dinner while Sky took a shower. Through out the entire day, Sky was very good. Not once did he flirt with me. He was very focused on his work. I was also very proud of myself for doing the same thing. After Sky was done with his shower, it was my turn. Sky played with Toothless while he waited for me. 20 minutes later I came out dressed and refreshed. We went down to the Common Room to eat dinner. 2 hours later Charlie cleared up the table and Sky took out the trash. After everything was put away and cleared up we to sit in the Common Room. That’s when the biggest bombshell was dropped on to our laps. It turns out that Jeff and Brandy mated. 

Everyone: What?! -shocked-

Jeff: Yea. Brandy and I been together for a very long time. 

Brandy: Mhm. 

Jazzy: -confused-

Jeff: I imprinted on Brandy when she was born in 2005. She was 5 years old. 

Jazzy: Oh. 

Jeff: When I was 18 I bit Brandy. She was only 13. We couldn’t get married because her parents thought we were too young. Even though I bit her and she is my soul mate. We decided to wait until this year to hold a ceremony. We sign our marriage license last year. But I wanted all my boys to be there, and Brandy wants all her girls to be there. Plus, Brandy thought it would be cute that her bridemaids to have their other half to be her girls partners on our wedding day. But Sky was the only one single in our group. So we waited until he found his other half, then we will have our wedding. :)

Jazzy: -blushing- 

Sky: You two don’t have to wait for me. -blushing- 

Brandy and Jeff: We want to. :)

   We said our congratulations. The wedding was set on May 2, 2021. After that big news we decided to get a early rest. We all went to our rooms, Rich took his puppy out for one last time before turning in for the night. Sky and I checked on Toothless who was asleep when we returned to our room. We brushed our teeth and changed into our pjs. We got into bed and turn off the lights. We weren’t sleeping yet, but in the dark I decided to reward him. Since Sky was already hugging me, I rolled over to face him, nuzzle his neck gently, and that actually aroused him. He knew what I was about to do. He allowed me to do it. I start slowly kissing neck and I moved to his cheek. When I was on top of him I kissed him gently on the lips. Which aroused him even more. I knew he wanted more than just a gentle kiss. 

Jazzy: I’ll give you more of a gentle kiss in the future. Let’s see you can last 6 week without flirting with me during the day. This kiss that I just gave you tonight was a reward.  :)

Sky: -made a pouty face- I want more. 

Jazzy: You’ll just have to wait and be patient. :)

Sky: -sigh softly-

Jazzy: I know its hard. But to those who wait will get the reward in the end. :)

Sky: You promise?

Jazzy: I promise. I would make it worth your while. :) 

Sky: Okay. :)

     I rolled off Sky. We said good night to each other. Sky rubbed my side softly until we both fell asleep. 

-End of Chapter Ten- 

[ynibytina]

Meet Jessie Hotchkiss!!!

Of all the people I've gotten to interview over the last year or so, I would have to say Jessie Hotchkiss was one of the sweetest people I've gotten to know. I met Jessie on Twitter after entering the 2013 Acuvue Contest (see my entry here!). It turns out this 19-year-old, Brooklyn Park, Minnesota native happens to have a lot in common with me. Not only do we share a love for music, but I also found out that she also has relatives that live near to where I live. Someday I hope to meet Jessie in person and jam out with her. In case you were wondering, Jessie, happens to be the first out of seven people to be chosen as winners of the 2013 Acuvue Contest. To learn more about Jessie, her music, and her adventures with Acuvue, please follow her on her Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Ask.FM pages, or Youtube channel. P.S. While on YouTube, don't forget to watch Jessie's winning audition video for the Acuvue Contest or Jessie's Mentorship Episode with Demi Lovato!!!

Favorite Musicians: Demi Lovato, Ed Sheeran, Skillet.

Favorite Movies: Mean Girls, Sleepover, Freaky Friday, Pitch Perfect.

Favorite Book: Hunger Games or Divergent Series.

Favorite Color: Blue.

Favorite Holiday: Halloween.

Mac or PC: Mac.

Twitter or Facebook: Twitter.

Blackberry or iPhone: iPhone.

Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla.

Winter or Summer: Summer.

Pancakes or Waffles: Pancakes.

Math or Science: Math.

Past, Present, or Future: Future.

Did you grow up in a musical family? What age/instrument did you learn first?

Absolutely not! My sister was the first one to start learning an instrument in 6th grade. Once I got into 6th grade, I started playing the trumpet. So I was about 11 years old.

When you found out that you won the Acuvue contest, how did you/your family and friends react?

I actually got a call around 7 am on a Saturday and ignored it because it said “unknown," so I ignored it and went back to bed. They called again about an hour after that and left a voice mail. But I woke up around 9 forgetting about the voice mail and checked my email first, and that’s where I saw (1) in my inbox and looked. I had to stare at it for a good 30 seconds before I realized that it wasn’t spam! I literally started sobbing and ran into my mom’s room and told her that I won! She didn’t know what contest I was talking about because I enter a ton! So I explained and she couldn’t believe it! I then realized that it was Acuvue trying to call me and I listened to the voicemail. They told me to respond to the email to make sure I’m aware that I’m a winner. My friends didn’t really understand the concept of the contest. They were excited but they didn’t realize how big of a deal it was until the mentorship video came out. It still feels like it didn’t happen, but I’m glad it did!

What was it like working with Demi Lovato? Was she the mentor that you originally hoped for? What's the best advice that she gave you?

It was pretty surreal. It's like when you only see someone online and on TV, it’s almost like you don’t believe they exist (as weird as that sounds). But she is super sweet and genuine and a goofball. She had this aura that she gave off that immediately made me feel comfortable. I was nervous for about the first minute of meeting her, but after that, I was totally fine. She honestly was the reason I entered. I told myself I’d be content with whoever was chosen for me as long as I overcame my fears by the end of the day, but I didn’t actually think I was going to be set up with her. It’s funny because I originally wasn’t going to enter just cause it’s such a huge contest and I thought, “What are even the chances?” but I’m glad I at least tried because you have just as much of a chance as getting chosen as anyone else does as long as you enter. As for advice, I feel really dumb but I honestly can’t remember a whole lot…it was an overwhelming day overall. But something I learned that day is to just own it up on stage. You already know exactly what you’re supposed to do, so why be nervous about it?

Why do you think your video was chosen? For people who want to try out next year, what advice would you give them while making their videos?

I’m honestly still trying to figure that out. The Acuvue crew has told me so many times that it really stood out and I was obviously chosen for a reason. When I watched it back when I was about to submit the video, I didn’t think it was all that great. But when I compared it to the others, something did seem a little different about mine, and I’m not just saying that I truly believe that. For anyone who wants to try out next year, you really want to try to make it stand out. What I did is I watched the submissions for the 5 previous winners from 2012 and asked myself, “What is it about the videos that made them stand out?” I literally watched them about 5 times each. What I found out is they didn’t get off the topic of what they are trying to accomplish. I actually watched every single submission for the 2013 contest and what a lot of people did was talk about their pasts and how maybe they’ve been bullied or depressed (etc.) and they don’t focus on what their dream is. Acuvue wants to know about it and HOW bad you want it, they don’t want your life story and then only one sentence about what you want to do. They want to know how you got started with it and how much you want to progress in either your passion or how to get over the fears that are preventing you from taking your passion further. So I’d suggest that you leave out your life story and focus on your dream; THAT is what they want to know about.

Has life changed for you much since winning the Acuvue contest? What does a current day in your life look like?

As for just day by day, not really. Although since the mentorship I got to attend the 2013 Teen Choice Awards and got to walk the blue carpet (which was a guaranteed prize along with the mentorship). But I also got to do a separate event with my mentor that no one else got to do. So that definitely wasn’t expected. Being able to go to LA three times this year has been amazing; I just wish I could stay there, haha! I actually recently saw Fifth Harmony in concert and got recognized by about 15 people. They just congratulated me and/or told me how jealous they are, which is something I’ve been hearing a lot lately. A typical day for me consists of waking up and going to classes (it differs every day since I’m in college so it’s not the same schedule every day) and depending on what day it is, I go to work, come home and do homework. Then usually play guitar or keyboard till about midnight and may make a cover once a week or so. It’s not too eventful. Most of my friends go to schools far away so I don’t really have anyone to hang with here.

What was it like going to the Teen Choice Awards? Did you run into a lot of celebrities?

I did! It was honestly one of the craziest/surreal things ever (even more so than the mentorship). Our day started around 6-7 am (depending on when we got called to the room to get makeup done) and it didn’t end till about midnight when we got back to our hotel and chilled on the rooftop. The day started with us all one by one getting makeup done. After, we went into the room next door to get our wardrobes (which we picked out the day prior out of a crazy amount of choices)! Then we had to go downstairs to do a photoshoot! I ended up being the last one so it was a big rush trying to run all over the hotel and whatnot. But the photoshoot was very interesting considering I’m so awkward on camera. But they played Demi in the background which made it better, haha! Once that was taken care of, all of us winners hopped on a little bus to go to the TCA site and film a commercial with Shay Mitchell. No one was there yet so we got to see everything while it was clear. Shay got dropped off and I think we all got a little star-struck (except Olivia since she was her mentor). We took several takes of it and then immediately had to go back to the hotel because there was a party on the hotel roof with the mentors, out families and the CEO’s (along with their families) of Acuvue. Unfortunately, only Dwight, Joe and Shay could attend. But it was incredible meeting them all! After that was done, all of us (except Anthony and Olivia) got back on the minibus and drove to the TCA site again. We were dropped off where all the celebrities were and it was the craziest site ever; I have never seen so many paparazzi in my life. We stood by the gate where everyone was dropped and saw about every single celeb that attended. I met Ed Sheeran and other artist and it was insane how close everyone was to us. Even One Direction casually walked inches away to get around us. But we went in, watched the show, got out and went to an after-party consisting of free arcade games, bowling, and endless chicken strips and pizza! One of the best days by far.

In 10 years you will be...

Hopefully, I’ll be in a successful band, whether it’s a new band, already existing one, or be a backup musician for a solo artist.

Besides music, what do you like to do in your spare time?

I love drawing! I used to do it high school a lot, but since I’ve been in college, I don’t have as much free time as I used to. I’m also really into making bracelets. I can make them out of string and rubber bands so if you ever want one, Hit me up!

What's your favorite quote and why?

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream; not only plan but also believe.” I really like this quote because I think so many people just act upon something, fail, and then give up. You’re going to be told “no” a lot in order to get where you want to be. I have, yet that doesn’t stop me. Even though I had this amazing experience happen to me, there’s a little voice in my head that likes to get at me and make me think that I’m not going to end up getting far with music, but I try to shove it aside. Don’t give in to the voices. Listen to your heart, not your head.

Do you write your own music? If so are we going to hear it soon on your YouTube channel? If not, what's your favorite cover that you've done and why?

I’ve been trying to write some original stuff lately. I actually do have an original song on my channel, but it’s a very rough version and has been touched up a bit over time since I posted it. I may end up deleting in the future and reposting the version I have now. I’m also working on another one now, but I can’t think of how to make it flow. I have lyrics, just not the music. So I’m working on that currently. I think my favorite cover would actually have to be “Not Gonna Die” by Skillet. I don’t sing, but I’m playing electric guitar and that’s originally what I started out on. I haven’t played one for a few years so it was fun going back to it and playing some rock!

[itskrystyna]

100 Truths

Thanks to the ‘on this day’ function on Facebook, I just discovered that it’s been 7 years since I did this tag! Pretty crazy, but after reading it through I thought it would be cool to do it again at age 23 as a lottt of my answers have changed since then and are a lot more interesting.

What was your:

1. Last beverage: Water 2. Last phone call: My dad asking if everyone was home haha 3. Last text message: It was to and from Anthea, we were talking about Christmas and asked each other to name one thing that we are thankful for. 4. Last song you listened to: A double bass version of Canon in D that my brother sent me 5. Last time you cried: Like 15 minutes ago to my brother and sister. We were talking about friendships and how they change as you age, and I opened up about a friend issue that I am currently dealing with.

Have you ever:

6. Got back with someone you've broken up with: No, but as of right now I’m not completely opposed to the idea as long as certain circumstances could one day be on our side. 7. Been cheated on: Not that I know of. 8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No. I’m not particularly happy about the person I had my first kiss with, but in the moment I knew I wanted it so I don’t regret it. 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: Yes 11. Been drunk and threw up: No

List 3 favourite colours

12. Green 13. Purple 14. Blue

This year have you (2017)

15. Made a new friend: Yes. Temporary friends, but friends nonetheless. 16. Fallen out of love: No. At one point I believed I did, but I’ve come to accept that ultimately I have not. 17. Laughed until you cried: Yes, I can’t remember why but it was definitely with my brother and/or sister.  18. Met someone who changed you: There was definitely someone who changed me this year, but I haven’t been changed by anyone I met this year. 19. Found out who your true friends were: I am still learning, but I know there is at least one who will stick by me till the end.  20. Found out someone was talking about you: Not in the larger sense 21. Kissed anyone on your Facebook friend's list: Yes, two 22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Most of them except for some family in the Philippines and a couple of online friends and people I met in online communities 23. How many kids do you want?: Ideally 2, a boy and a girl, but I’d try for a third if the first two are the same sex. 24. Do you have any pets?: No 25. Do you want to change your name: No 26. What did you do for your last birthday?: Stayed home. I’ll admit I was kind of in a bad mood on my birthday last week. 27. What time did you wake up today?: 12pm lol my brother woke me up before leaving home 28. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Watching youtube videos in my room till about 3am... I was in a bad head space last night, but I switched to studying a bit of Chinese before bed in attempt to counteract the unproductivity. 29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: I literally cannot wait for this year to end and to go back to school man, no one understands. 30. Last time you saw your Mother: About half an hour ago to say goodnight before she went to sleep 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?: I am very grateful for everything I’ve been through since it’s all taught me very valuable life lessons and I would not be the person I am today otherwise, but I guess I just wish that I could have learned a few lessons sooner so I could be ahead in certain aspects of my life and not feel like I’m behind everyone else. I know that life is not a race and that everyone learns and accomplishes things at their own pace, but it’s impossible not to feel that way sometimes although I am working on accepting that all I can do now is look forward, plan for the future and enjoy every moment as best as I can.  32. What are you listening to right now: Some gentle harp music coming from my brother’s laptop. He’s working in my room right now and I let him play whatever he wants :P 34. Who is getting on your nerves now: At this moment nobody! But I suppose you can say that a situation with a friend is really bothering me right now. 36. Whats your real name: Krystyna Kobos 37. Nicknames: Krabs, Tyna, and Ate (if that’s even considered a nickname rather than a title of respect) 39. Zodiac sign: Scorpio sun, Aquarius moon, Virgo rising 40. Male or female?: Female 41. Primary School?: St. Leo 42. Secondary School?: Father John Redmond 43. High school/college?: Ryerson University, YorkU for 3 weeks, and Humber College starting in January! 44. Hair color: Brown 45. Long or short: Medium-ish on the longer side 46. Height: 5′4 47. Do you have a crush on someone? Not crushing, but still in recovery from a heartbreak  48: What do you like about yourself?: I made a list of things I love about myself in my ‘wreck this journal’ type book a few days ago! But one physical thing I like about myself is my big eyes, and one non-physical thing I like is my emotional self awareness and that I allow myself to feel. 49. Piercings: Ears 50: Tattoos: Most probably never 51. Righty or Lefty: Righty

First:

52. First surgery: None 53. First piercing: Ears 54. First best friend: Alyssa in junior kindergarten although I barely remember her, so I will say Jodi in SK. And even though we don’t communicate regularly anymore we still keep in touch and see each other from time to time. 55. First sport you joined: None, although I remember in second or third grade there was a girls soccer tryout meeting at recess and every girl in my grade went for some reason, so I joined them because I didn’t want to be outside alone with all the boys. I never went to another sports meeting after that.  56. First vacation: Philippines 2011! 57. First pair of trainers: Like, shoes? I don’t know lol 

Right Now:

58. Eating: Nothing 59. Drinking: I took a sip of water after reading this question 60. I'm about to: Answer the next question and I need to go to bed soon 61. Listening to: Still the harp music coming from my brother’s laptop 62. Waiting for: SCHOOL TO START. Also Christmas. 63. I'm feeling: Relaxed and reflective. I’m in good spirits tonight. 

Your Future:

64. Want kids?: Yes 65. Get married?: Yes 66. Career: Yikes, well I recently made the huge decision to drop out of teachers college. Once I go back to school in January I will be on my way to becoming a mental health counselor, and to be completely honest I feel so much more excited to continue education for this reason than I ever did before.   67. Lips or eyes: Eyes 68. Hugs or kisses: Both, although I am not much of a hugger in my everyday life with friends/family and I really enjoy kisses with a significant other. But tender hugs are wonderful too. 69. Shorter or taller: Taller 70. Older or Younger: Older 71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous romantic moments 72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms 73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

Have you ever:

75. Kissed a stranger: No, unless you count a prolonged tinder relationship in which I didn’t truly know all of the person before I kissed them 76. Drank hard Liquor: I don’t really know what defines liquor as hard but I have knocked out and fallen asleep after drinking a bit too much wine (clearly I don’t drink much) 77. Lost glasses/contacts: No 78. Sex on first date: No 79. Broken someone's heart: Yes... I absolutely hated it but I had to do it for myself.  80. Been arrested: No 81. Punched someone: Yes, my brother and Anthea 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes, but nothing lasting

Do you believe in:

84. Yourself: I am growing to more and more.  85. Love at first sight: I believe in a moment 86. Heaven: I’m not opposed to the idea of a heaven or an afterlife. I’m comfortable with simply not knowing until we experience our own death, even though it drives me completely insane when I think about it too much.  87. Santa Claus: No 88. Kiss on the first date: A little peck on the lips is fine by me 89. Angels: I believe that invisible spirits exist among us 90. God: I believe that there is one. I believe in the universe and that there’s a part of it inside every living thing on earth and anywhere else that life exists. 

Answer Truthfully:

91. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No 92. Did you sing today?: Maybe just a little singsong, a little humming 93. Did something illegal?: Other than illegally download music, nothing that I can think of 94. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: I would probably just go back to April of this year (2017) and face going to the doctor to take care of the rash above my lip earlier on. It sounds like such a tiny little problem but it got so out of hand that I spiraled into a depression I’ve never experienced before, and even though I’ve gotten much better since then I am still living in the consequence of it. But then again, if that didn’t happen then the sequence of events afterwards never would have happened, and even though I still wish I never had to go through all the suffering as well as the heartbreak I suffered as result of it, I probably would have not yet learned the most important lesson of my life to this date. 95. The moment you would choose to relive?: That one week in February this year. Our time together was much too short and I would do anything to experience it all over again. 96. Are you afraid of falling in love?: I would normally say no, but now I can understand why people would say yes. However I still stand by no even though I’m afraid of having my feelings this past year nullified...even though that sounds completely irrational. It know that doesn’t make sense, but it does.  97. When was the last time you lied?: Today? Yesterday? I don’t really make big lies, just little strings of white lies. 98. Are you usually late, early or right on time?:  Late D: 99. Would you give your life to save someone else's?:  Yes, if I cared about them enough 100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths?: Not at all. 

[chelsorz07]

i feel like these are getting redundant but i’m bored

2010/2017 1. Last beverage: water. Frozen pumpkin latte from Sheetz.

2. Last phone call: from my dad, like three or four hours ago. Called work today to let them know I was coming in early.

3. Last text message: from michele. Dave.

4. Last song you listened to: whatever's in the background on degrassi. “All I Wanted” - Paramore.

5. Last time you cried: today. Not sure. Maybe a few days ago.

Have you ever:

6. Dated someone twice: yeah. Yup.

7. Been cheated on: yep. Yeah well.

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: not entirely. I don’t regret any of them, but I’m certainly glad I ended up with the one I did.

9. Lost someone special: indeed. If I lost them, they couldn’t have been too special.

10. Been depressed: ha. Only for fifteen years.

11. Been drunk and thrown up: quite recently lol Not for a couple months. Before that it was years.

List 3 favorite colors:

12. green.

13. purple.

14. silver. Green, grey, plaid.

This year have you:

15. Made a new friend: a couple. Ehh more like acquaintances. I don’t need more friends than the two I have. 

16. Fallen out of love: no. but i have let go of hoping i could get it back. That’s never gonna happen.

17. Laughed until you cried: yes. and vice versa. This year yeah, but not recently. I don’t leave my house unless it’s to go to work, and nothing is amusing there.

18. Met someone who changed you: not this year. Nope.

19. Found out who your true friends were: more than you could imagine. I found that out when I moved here and all my friends except Mike and Amanda dropped me like a hot potato.

20. Found out someone was talking about you: daily. I don’t think so but I wouldn’t care if they were.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yep. Well yeah, my spousal unit.

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: all. On tumblr? Like four.

23. How many kids do you want: none. One.

24. Do you have any pets: no. My kitties. Marshall, Millie, Selina, and Thomas.

25. Do you want to change your name: not really. I’ve never liked it but i’m too old and set in my ways to change it now.

26. What did you do for your last birthday: got drunk. Went home for a week and it was fabulous.

:27. What time did you wake up today: 7:30, like every day. 12:30pm. But I didn’t go to sleep till 8:30am.

28. What were you doing at midnight last night : watching tv with my dad. Either watching Gotham or Youtube idk.

30. Last time you saw your Mother: right before i came upstairs. A couple weeks ago.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: where i live and with whom. also, the amount in my bank account. Where I live. But not with whom. Also still the amount in my bank account.

32. What are you listening to right now: commercials. The whirring of my laptop fan.

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: many. Several.

34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: no one. i'm ignoring the world. Nobody.

35. Most visited webpage: facebook and TFLN. Facebook, Youtube, and Netflix.

36. Whats your real name? chelsea wilton. Chelsea Lipps.

37. Nickname: don't have one anymore. because the people that called me by my nickname turned out not to be my real friends. so yeah. Same.

38. Relationship Status: single. Married.

39. Zodiac sign: leo. Obvs that didn’t change.

40. Male or female: female. Female.

41. Primary School: ggb. Same.

42. Middle School: fretz. Same.

43. High school/college: bradford high. Same.

44. Hair color: brown. Red.

45. Long or short: too long. Medium but still too long.

46. Height: 5'6'' Same.

47. Do you have a crush on someone: only eli on degrassi :) haha Celebs.

48. What do you like about yourself: not a whole lot. My face. And I’m hilarious.

49. Piercings: ears. None.

50. Tattoos: one for now. Two, but more to come.

51. Righty or Lefty? left. Lefty.

52. First surgery: tonsillectomy. I’ve only had two. The tonsillectomy when I was 10 and my gallbladder when I was 24.

53. First piercing: ears. Ears.

54. First best friend: nicole. Nicole.

55. First sport you joined: cheerleading. Cheerleading.

56. First vacation: never been on one. my family took their first this past summer but i elected not to go. Georgia/Tennessee/Kentucky.

57. Ummm...where'd this question go?   It died. I’m more concerned that half of them have the same answers because it’s shit that can’t change.

58. First pair of trainers: what? I have no freaking clue. But I only wear Nikes now, if that helps.

Right now:

59. Eating: halloween candy. Nothing.

60. Drinking: water. Coffee.

61. I'm about to: go to bed. Watch something else because my tv is pissing me off too much to catch up on Gotham.

62. Listening to: degrassi. Nothing.

63. Waiting for: jeff to call me tomorrow so i can get my job back. To find a house in Bradford so we can move home.

Your Future:

64. Want kids: no. Yes. I’m already a year past when I wanted to have one.

65. Get married: probably not. Already am.

66. Career: i haven't decided yet. It’s too late for me to have a career. I’m just gonna work shit jobs till I die.

Which is better in the opposite sex?

67. Lips or eyes: eyes. Eyes.

68. Hugs or kisses: both. Hugs.

69. Shorter or taller: taller than me but still under 6'. Taller. I’m not quite as picky about how much anymore. But Dave is only 2′’ taller than me and that’s quite nice.

70. Older or younger: haha i liked aaron's cougar answer. for me though, most definitely older. but younger than my sister. Older.

71. Romantic or spontaneous: both. Neither.

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: arms. Arms.

73. Sensitive or confident: both. Both.

74. Hook-up or relationship: at the moment i don't think i want either. Relationship.

Have you ever:

76. Kissed a stranger: well...haha A couple.

77. Drank hard liquor:  sure. Yeah but I don’t anymore.

78. Lost glasses/contacts: only temporarily. Within my domicile. 

80. Broken someone's heart: supposedly. He claims so.

82. Been arrested: not yet lol Almost but no.

83. Turned someone down: yep. Yeah.

84. Cried when someone died: everything makes me cry. Yes but I still cry all the time regardless.

Do you believe in:

86. Yourself:  no. Nope.

87. Miracles: no. No.

88. Love at first sight: no. Ehh kinda.

89. Heaven: no. No.

90. Santa Claus: no. No.

91. Kiss on the first date: yeah. Yep.

Answer truthfully:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: never. Not at a time.

95. Did you sing today: every day. I sing all the time.

96. Ever cheated on somebody: never have, never will. Nope.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: i wouldn't. Still wouldn’t. I wanna go forward.

98. The moment you would choose to relive: what's the point in dwelling on the past? i'm all about moving on now. None.

99. Are you afraid of falling in love: and getting hurt again. yeah. Nope. Been in love for quite some time now.

100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths:  no i'm just not going to. That’s lame.

[unseelie-siren]

Tagged by @hamu-starz and @softie-yuuri thanks for that!

rules: answer these 85 statements & tag 20 people

the last (mun):

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my mom when she thought I went to fetch my contacts, but I really was just upstairs

3. text message: here on tumblr from @kittenyuriplisetsky and otherwise from my best internet friend who doesn’t have tumblr, but we talked about Juzo from Tokyo ghoul

4. song you listened to: ugh… I really don’t know. I haven’t had the time to listen to music, because I watched got and other stuff, so it is most likely something my family played while we were eating or playing a game, so that could be something like… okay I really don’t know.

5. time you cried: In a personal talk with my class teacher. that was 4 weeks ago I think.

have you ever (Sofia):

6. dated someone twice: Nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: I haven’t kissed somebody

8. been cheated on: Nope.

9. lost someone special: yes. It’s not a really fun story to tell.

10. been depressed: yes. But I’m not anymore, at least I hope so.

11. gotten drunk & thrown up: yes, the one time I was drunk.

favorite colors:

12. very dark or very light Blue

13. pastel pink

14. dark purple/red also black

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends: Depends on what you call friends, but I suppose. I’m not good at social interactions.

16. fallen out of love: I’ve never fallen in love so...

17. laughed until you cried: I don’t cry when I laugh

18. found out someone was talking about you: yes. That caused me to loose someone special (see above).

19. met someone who changed you: I think the people that I already knew changed me 

20. found out who your friends are: Yes, sadly. (see above again)

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t have Facebook.

general (mun):

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t have a facebook

23. do you have any pets: A dog named roxy, like… eleven chicken or so? and two ducks… and a tortoise 

24. do you want to change your name: This is actually quite a funny thing to ask me, because I’ve given myself the names I want to have, so no, not really. for my actual real name I also have to say no, because I really like it’s meaning and also it’s ancient greek, so… i like it.

25. what did you do for your last birthday: went ice skating to celebrate mine and a friends birthday who happens to be born just one day after me.

26. what time did you wake up: 12:03

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: reading fanfic probably

28. name something you can’t wait for: having finished that damn first pilot licence so that I’m at least allowed to fly in official flying places and after that to make the second licence so that I can fly wherever I want.

31. what are you listening to right now: the laughter of my family downstairs who is watching a movie and my laptop having trouble breathing.

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: tom? no. Just some tims, i think.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my class teacher. I love her, but she’s done something that was really wrong for me. 

34. most visited website: tumblr and ao3

35. hair colour: actually dark blond, but atm there is a bit of green remaining in it, because I had them blue and tomorrow I’ll dye them purple hopefully

36. long or short hair: short. Because I made the worst decision in my life and cut it.

39. piercings: normal earrings, but I want more.

40. blood type: I should know, but I’ve forgotten.

41. nicknames: soso, and puffy (not anymore, I suppose…)

42. relationship status: single and happy

43. zodiac: Pisces

44. pronouns: used with me?: she/her , but I actually would like to try other pronouns, because I’m uncomfortable with being seen as cis, because I’m not, but I’m still trying to figure out what gender I really have, so… I’m talking to much.

45. favourite tv show: I don’t watch tv very much so I’ll go with game of thrones at the moment? Because I’m watching it right now and I’ve nearly finished season 5

46. tattoos: no, sadly

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: yes, I needed surgery for my leg, because I had a “malformation” since I was born (my leg was 4 cm longer than the other and the difference was growing), so I had surgery twice.

49. piercing: nope.

50. sport: I did so many kind of sports., but since over a year I’m doing nothing. Hello hello chubby body! I want to start something though.

51. vacation: I was the lads two weeks and I’m going the next week

52. pair of trainers: none? Ok I need to find my converse...

more general (Sofia)

53. eating: I had dinner not too long ago. Mama made soup.

54. fav drink: coffee. Black.

55. what you’re up to: I’ll be reading until I go to bed.

56. waiting for: nothing, really.

57. want: to have more books I can read even though I was just recently to a bookstore and got more books.

58. get married: I don’t think that will happen.

59. career: I’m still at school, but I’ll be finished soon.

which is better:

60. hugs or kisses: hugs, I don’t particularly like kisses, except if they are from my brother, he used to kiss me goodnight. But that’s in the past since he moved to train away from home.

61. lips or eyes: eyes.

62. shorter or taller: I’m short. It runs in the family. For me I likes being short better, for others being tall.

63. older or younger: older? younger people tend to like me, especially small children (god knows why), but I don’t really like them. But from a certain age on it doesn’t really matter anymore, I suppose.

64. nice arms or nice stomach: both. One alone looks stupid, normally.

65. hook up or relationship: neither.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: both? 

have you ever:

67. kissed a stranger: no.

68. drank hard liquor: yes.

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yes. Once at the same time as beak. It was hilarious. We were both blind.

70. turned someone down: yes.

71. sex on the first date: no sex, thank you.

72. broken someone’s heart: I don’t think you can call it ‘breaking a heart’

73. had your heart broken: in a friendship way yes.

74. been arrested: ugh, yes. It was stupid.

75. cried when someone died: I cry when fictional character die. I also cry which real humans I knew. Yes.

76. fallen for a friend: No.

do you believe in

77. yourself: More often than not, but that’s normal.

78. miracles: ,oracles are a thing, just like fate and stuff.

79. love at first sight: nope. What’s with all that love questions?

80. santa claus: not really, no.

81. kiss on the first date: not for me ugh thank you.

82. angels: nah, can’t say I don’t, can’t say I do.

83. current best friend’s name: I don’t really have a best friend at the moment. 

84. eye colour: black, if you squint you can see a tiny little flash of brown.

85. favourite movie: I don’t really watch many movies, but probably Heathers?

Tag: I think nearly every rp blog already has been tagged? So maybe @justhereforthefanartbean If you want? I honestly don’t know anyone else? Or I’m way to shy to tag them. way. 

[dingus-the-mingus]

To all who follow me with the reason of good content ignore this. Also this is a tag game

of course as always this was brought upon me by none other then the mighty @het-lelijke-eendje, thanks yet again for making my evening less boring and more filled with personal and emotionally charged questions which is way better then just browsing dead dark souls memes

Last

1. Drink: cold mint tea

2. Phone call: i think my dad

3. Text message: “yo can you bring me my jacket tomorrow and drop it off later at my place?”

4. Song you listened to: Macdemarco “baby you’re out”

5. Time you cried: i’m not sharing that but what i can say is that i mostly cry because of my amnesia.

HAVE YOU

6. Dated someone twice: can’t say i have 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: every kiss is the beginning of regrets

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: every dog i ever owned, who cares about humans

10. Been depressed: yes severely, but it’s in the past and i moved on like everyone who got rid of their depression. 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: of course, Cactus liquor of any kind tastes like nuclear waste now thanks to that one “drunk souls” evening with some friends.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12-14: i’m colourblind and i like blue hues and maybe some purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: a few 

16. Fallen out of love: well it’s more of a “stopped loving” but yes and it sux. 

17. Laughed until you cried:  my friends make that happen on a daily basis. but mostly when we play DnD or when we’re super high.

18. Found out someone was talking about you:  why should they? i’m a bland animator shut-in with no redeeming values except my undying love for the souls series, they should be ashamed if they were talking about me.

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, although i still can’t tell if it was for the better or not. i’m really reflecting on that part right now.

20. Found out who your friends are: I already know who my friends are and they know i’m theirs.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes,

GENERAL

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them but i have circle of about 30 where i keep constant contact with.

23. Do you have any pets: Yes, a boston terrier he’s my silent animation buddy

24. Do you want to change your name: do i look like a guy with identity issues? i’m fine with my name. 

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: got extremely high with my closest friends and dungeonmastered a game.

26. What time did you wake up: god idk i don’t keep track of time in the summer vacation.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: listening to some podcasts (just started harmontown and i’m halfway through acquisitions incorporated) and drawing some new homebrew enemies for my DnD campaign.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: this is gonna sound sad but to be loved. 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a few minutes ago when she said she was gonna go to bed.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Everyone wants to change things, but no one is ever happy with the ways things are. it’s funny how we always yearn for anything we can’t have or didn’t do in our lives. but if i could i would change the way i handled things with my ex.

31. What are you listening to right now: Biig Piig “Vice city”

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: probably,

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my always increasing solitude and hermit lifestyle which is at the same time very relaxing. it’s really conflicting

34. Most visited website: Tumblr, reddit, youtube, 4chan in that order

RANDOM INFO ABOUT YOURSELF

35. Mole/s: hidden on my back

36. Mark/s: the upper part of my right ringfinger doesn’t have any feeling anymore because it got stuck between a car door when i was child. that and an eyebrow scar that was created during a weird collision between me and the radiator in kindergarden.

37. Childhood dream: as child i didn’t know. right now i’m aiming to become an art school teacher and to follow in the footsteps of the art teacher who taught me how to draw and find meaning in life. Jeff if you’re reading this i’m coming for you! 

38. Hair color: Black, just black

39. Long or short hair: can i say medium/short  for the sake of being difficult?

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes,

41. What do you like about yourself: that i quit drinking and that i like to help people who struggle with personal problems. i also am quite a good Dungeonmaster but that’s just plain out bragging.

42. Piercings: None

43. Blood type: O positive so that means i can donate to all you suckers!

44. Nickname: Lewis, Jewie (i’m not jewish) but generally just Louis

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: Pisces

47. Pronouns: call me whichever i’m not a sensitive person on the issue 

48. Favourite TV Shows: none, any belgian TV show is complete garbage.

49. Tattoos: one day each of my closest friends including me is gonna make a tattoo design (we’re all artists so we know it’s gonna look ok) then we’re gonna put it in a hat and then we all take one randomly from the hat and put it wherever we want. but that’s all high concept stuff.

50. Right or left hand: Right

51. Surgery: i don’t wanna talk about that, it wasn’t fun and neither is having a neurological issue.

52. Hair dyed in different color: I’m fine with my black,

53. Sport: swimming

55. Vacation: this year it’s Japan and afterwards italy

56. Pair of trainers: no clue

MORE GENERAL

57. Eating: a small cookie

58. Drinking: yup still burning on that cold mint tea

59. I’m about to: finish this of and go for some dark souls pvp

61. Waiting for: some person to live for.

62. Want: to achieve new heights in my animation and drawing and to have an awesome DnD campaign this vacation.

63. Get married: god no, do you know how many people divorce these days? Nobody can withstand another person to the end of their lives. nothing lasts forever just go live together and have your own ceremony without all the paperwork and promises.

64. Career: again being an art teacher at my old middle school. 

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs definitely

66. Lips or eyes: i can’t really see eye colours so i’m gonna have to go with lips even though it’s not a feature i necesarily look for.

67. Shorter or taller: neither every size is fine.

68. Older or younger: again it doesn’t matter!

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: who caaaaares

71. Sensitive or loud: again i’m not a guy who looks for these parameters in people. everyone is sensitive and loud in some way.

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker. 

HAVE YOU EVER

74. Kissed a Stranger: Nope

75. Drank hard liquor: i’m a belgian who got over his alcoholism a year ago...

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no lenses no glasses no problems

77. Turned someone down: yes, it never feels good tho

78. Sex on the first date: haha what do you take me for? no not in the slightest.

79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah...i’m a dork 

80. Had your heart broken: yes, Not so long ago actually. it’ll heal with time i suppose...

81. Been arrested: can’t say i have but i have been warned not to smoke pot outside once by a cop.

82. Cried when someone died: i’m human you know of course.

83. Fallen for a friend: yah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. Yourself: despite every action i make i would say yes. willpower is something immensely strong and is necesary for dealing with the hardships of life. but i’m not perfect i’m still trying to find such strong willpower.

85. Miracles: nope 

86. Love at first sight: i believe in love at first sentence. 

87. Santa Claus: krampus is the only santa i believe in.

88. Kiss on the first date: if it were to actually happen for once then yes. 

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: i’ve got several and no i won’t name them

91. Eye colour: dark green

92. Favorite movie: District 9, the usual suspect.

HOLY MOLY THAT WAS A LONG LIST

i’m not gonna tag anyone further sadly. unless any of those lurking schmucks wants to follow up on this then feel free to reply.

[geekundercover]

for the hogwarts asks do multiples of 5 (OR ALL OF THEM LIKE LORRAINE AND I DID............JOIN US)

Peer pressure compels me to do all of them, because I refuse to be outdone by lesser, infant beings.

1. What house will you be in? 

Ravenclaw, were the nerds go.

2. If the sorting hat was on you and it said you'd be great in a house you didn't consider before, will you follow his advice or choose what house you want?

I think I could be flexible about it. All the houses have qualities I admire, so I’d take its opinion into account.

3. What kind of animal would you bring to school?

I’d probably be good with an owl. Barn owl preferably. 

4. If you were in class, where would you normally sit?

Towards the front, like I usually do.

5. What do you think you'll be doing right now?

Past midnight? Sleeping or reading.

6. What's the core of your wand?

Phoenix feather! *fist pump*

7. Do you think you'll be part of the quidditch team?

I’d try out just for the opportunity to fly around more. That’s the most important part to me, honestly.

8. Will you be part of any organization???

Heck yeah! I’ve had excellent experiences with student orgs ;)

9. Will you go home during holidays?

If my family’s nearby, probably. As cool as Hogwarts is during Christmas, that holiday is sacred in my family. I would try to stay over at least once though.

10. Do you think you'll have friends from other houses?

Of course. 

11. What will you pack for school?

The standard: clothes, books, sketchbook, etc. I’d be kind of thrown off by the loss of internet though; no Netflix, youtube, or fanfic :( On the bright side, Hogwarts looks like it would have made slopes in the winter, so I’d pack a snowboard. Show them wizards how the muggles have fun.

12. How about when going home for holidays, what will you bring home?

Similar basics.

13. Would you consider studying in another wizarding school?

If they’re offering study abroad programs, count me in! I’m down for Durmstrang or Beauxbatons; living in a French castle sounds pretty stellar to me, and Durmstrang just sounds badass.

14. Do you think you'll be a prefect or head girl/boy?

I’d probably end up a prefect, but I’m not so dedicated a student that I’d get head girl. 

15. Are you going to be a pure-blood or half-blood or muggle-born?

Muggleborn, probs. 

16. Will you be related to any wizarding family?

Nah. 

17. Will you be a student who gets into trouble a lot?

Nope. I have a deathly fear of being written up. So either keep my hands clean or only do things I know I’ll get away with.

18. Do you think you'll get a lot of detention? For what reason/s?

Again, no. Law-abiding citizen here. Mostly.

19. On hogsmeade visits, what shops will you go to?

Definitely Honeydukes, because I have no control.  

20. Will you be supportive of your house's quidditch team?

Yeah, though I doubt I’d be a superfan. I’m not much of a sports person.

21. Will you read Hogwarts: A History?

I’d set out with the intent to read it, but I’d get a few chapters in then forget. Maybe skim it from time to time.

22. Do you think you'll get a lot of letters from home? How frequent do you think you'll get them?

I would constantly be getting letters, like weekly I’m sure. I come from a very close-knit family, and I’m very close to my brother. 

23. Will you subscribe to the daily prophet or the quibbler or other wizarding world media?

Doubt it. I’m not much of a news follower, though I should be.

24. Which part of the castle will be your favorite?

Any of the towers I’m allowed into. I live for those views.

25. When sleeping in your dormitory, will your four-poster bed's curtains be drawn or closed?

Closed.

26. If the team your house played against wins, do you think you'll be bitter towards the other team after the game?

Nah. I wouldn’t care that much. I might be salty for a day in the spirit of the thing, but I’d drop it within 24 hours.

27. Do you think you'll be a fan of wizard music?

Couldn’t say, since I don’t know what wizard music sounds like. If it falls toward grungy/metal/alternative, sure, but if it sounds country, HELL NO.

28. Will you be curious enough to try and explore the whole castle, even if you know you can get in trouble for visiting some parts of it?

I wouldn’t do it on my own because I’m a scaredy cat about breaking rules, as mentioned above. However, if I was with a group of friends that were reinforcing by bad choices, I totally would.

29. How frequent will your visits to the library be?

Periodic. I like studying in my own room, so I might pop in for research or to check out a book, but I don’t think I’d stay.

30. If someone was to form an organization similar to dumbledore's army, will you join?

I’d like to think that I would, but I’ve never had to face that kind of choice before. Who knows how I would actually respond. 

31. If you were to get detention, what task would you prefer? Would you want to scrub cauldrons or clean trophies or sort through unlabeled books or…?

I actually wouldn’t mind helping Lockhart with his fan mail. It’s monotonous, not hard labor, and I consider myself an expert in tuning shit out. I’d probably just be mentally mapping out my next story or fanfic while he blabbered.

32. On your o.w.l.s, what subject/s will you get an O in? Which ones do you think you’ll get a T on?

I get the feeling I’d be good at charms, and maybe transfiguration. I would work my ass off in DADA because it’s cool, but I’m not sure I would get an O. I don’t think I’d get a T in anything because I’m so stringent about my grades.

33. How about in your n.e.w.t.s?

Likely the same. 

34. If you were a pure-blood, would you take interest in reading muggle literature?

As a student of literature, I consider it vital to study the written works of a wide variety of cultures, so yes.

35. At what time do you think you'll go to bed on weekdays?

2 AM at earliest, like I do.

36. Would you prefer firewhiskey over butterbeer?

I’m a lightweight that drinks solely based on taste, so butterbeer.

37. What wizard snack would be your favorite? Or which one would you like to try?

I know this is only a thing in the movies, but those candies that can make you sound like an animal. Like, how fucking cool??? I would be popping that shit like Mentos and eagle screeching behind my friends when they least expect it. 

38. Will you collect chocolate frog cards?

I’d do it for a month and then drop it, like Pokemon Go.

39. Will you keep track of which flavor of beans you already tried?

I wouldn’t even touch the beans. I’ve done Beanboozled, once is enough thanks.

40. What quidditch team (excluding hogwarts houses) will you support?

I probably wouldn’t be invested enough to have a favorite.

41. What classes will you take for n.e.w.t.s?

DADA, charms, Care of Magical Creatures

42. What will your boggart be?

I’m not sure how a boggart could represent this, but like... loss of time? The concept freaks the hell out of me. One of my worst fears is falling into a coma or getting sent to prison for years, then coming out of it and seeing that everything’s changed, my family and friends have all aged and lived life without me. Again, the boggart would probably just stare at me in confusion, but that’s my big phobia.

43. Will you stay in the hog’s head or the three broomsticks?

Three Broomsticks. It’s cleaner and probably has more sissy drinks.

44. If you are of age, will you try to enter the triwizard tournament if they ever host one again?

To quote Sid the Sloth, “No thanks. I choose life.”

45. What do you think happens during graduation?

I imagine the Dumbledore/the Sorting Hat sings a song. There’s lots of food. McGonagall probably rewards exceptional students, someone gives a speech. Y’know.

46. Will you see the thestrals carrying the carriages?

Yes

47. If you were invited to join the slug club, will you accept the invitation?

Yeah, I guess. It’s elitist, I know, but them credentials and connections are worth a bit of selling out. 

48. Will you consider becoming a professor in hogwarts after school?

Nope. The moment I’m out of Hogwarts, it’s off to Romania to work with dragons. I would overcome all sense of self-preservation for the chance to see dragons on a daily basis. 

49. What would your patronus be?

I don’t know, probably something small and mellow and kinda smart. Maybe I’d get an owl? 

50. What memory will you think of when making a patronus?

Probably those early mornings when I was little, when I’d wake up early, curl up on the heater, and wait for my dad to get up. Then he’d come out and read to me until everyone else was up.

51. What year are you suppose to be in right now?

Graduated four years, and likely devoured by a dragon because I tried to pet it. 

[lifeinahole27]

My Fics

And here we go! This is a compilation of every fic I’ve written for the OUAT fandom, starting from the very (shaky) beginnings. It’s wild to put this together two years after I first googled Captain Swan fanfiction. There’s so much growth in these links, and I’m anxious to see what progress will be made from this point forward.

Special thanks to everyone who reads what I write. Seriously, I cannot thank you all enough. I <3 you all.

And another special thanks to anyone who has done proofreading or beta reading for me, including but I’m sure not limited to: @oubliette14, @nothandlingit, @i-know-how-you-kiss, @sambethe, @phiralovesloki. (If you’ve done any kind of beta reading for me and I missed you, please let me know so I can add you to this list. You lovelies deserve fruit baskets and such for how amazing you’ve all been to this insecure, fidgety writer.)

(Note: All of the Tumblr and FFN links are already in here, however the Ao3 links are not. I’m still working on cross posting those, but I wanted to get this posted and linked up so it’s finally up! Will update as I go! Will probably add descriptions and ratings as I update this further, as well.)

Something Else | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Emma, one of many counselors at a summer camp, takes a moment to herself to enjoy the sunset and think about the blue eyes she’s grown rather fond of the last couple weeks. (T, au, one-shot, complete)

Til We’re Staring at the Same Stars  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Emma takes time to think. (G, canon-verse, complete)

Stars Lined Up  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: The reunion between Emma and Killian after ‘Til We’re Staring at the Same Stars’ (M, canon-verse, complete)

It Isn’t Slow  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: When the town is in crisis, it’s hard to find the time for pleasurable endeavors. Sometimes a quickie is all they can manage. (E, canon-verse, complete)

Shower Courtship  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  “you live in the apartment above me and everyday I can hear you singing in the shower but you’re really good and it makes my day” au (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Routines | FFN | Ao3 

Summary:  Summary: Emma’s daily routines are a matter of habit. When she wakes up late one morning, her routines all change for the better. Killian doesn’t care about routines, but he does care about Emma. (E, au, multi-chapter, complete)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

No Bunny’s Business  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  “you’re dressed as the easter bunny at our town’s easter egg hunt and I take my younger sibling, but they're afraid of people in costumes and you accidentally make them cry and you take off the bunny head to apologize and hey you’re kinda cute” (PG, au, one-shot, complete)

There You Are  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Season 4 finale, missing thoughts from Emma. (G, canon-verse, complete)

Pushing Deadlines  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  “I have a paper due tomorrow and it’s three am, I need all your     coffee cause I ran out” college au (E, au, one-shot, complete)

Burning Off the Midnight Oil  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Killian helps Emma with her nerves before an important day (E, au, one-shot, complete)

The Seduction of Deckhand Jones  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Emma pulls an I’ll-make-a-man-outta-you on deckhand Killian. (The title pretty much says it all…) (E, au, one-shot, complete)

I Can’t Let You Do That  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Some CS jewel theives, inspired by sense8. (E, au, two-shot, complete)

1 | 2

Roots Like Ours  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  I work at a bar and I don’t get home and to bed until nearly 4am and now it’s 7am and there’s a tree removal company working right next door and I know the bylaws say that any time after 7am you’re allowed to operate this devilish cacophony of machinery but I’ve only had 3 hours of sleep and as I stalk outside in my tweety bird pyjamas I swear to god I am going to murder you for waking me up and oh fuck you’re hot. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

At the Top of Our Lungs  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  “We’re on the debate team yet we can’t argue about something without yelling.” CS as debate team members who may have recently done some bedroom battles. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Between the Coffee Lines  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: ‘I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’ AU (T, au, one-shot, complete)

Early to Rise  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  ‘We slept in the same bed for space reasons but now we’re just waking up and there’s something about your bleary eyes and mussed hair.’ (E, au, one-shot, complete)

Ship It  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  college professors au where the students ship them. (M, au, two-shot, complete-ish)

1 | 2 

Claws Out  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Christmas is, by far, his least favorite time of the year for two reasons. One is the inquiries on adoption. The second is the inquiries on return. In which Killian is a the owner and operator of a cat sanctuary, and Emma happens to be a mother to make an inquiry on adopting a cat for her son. (T, au, one-shot, complete)

Distractions  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Killian Jones, the deckhand of the pirate ship, the Jolly Roger, is tasked with distracting townspeople whilst the crew robs their homes. Instead, Killian ends up being distracted by a beautiful blonde interested in his drawings. (E, au, one-shot, complete)

The Faces of Kismet  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: No one expects to meet their soulmate in a chat room, and that’s certainly not what Emma was looking for when she went in to waste some time one night. Instead, she found someone, and he found her, and then they lost their connection. Fate likes to fuck with peoples’ lives sometimes, and this is no exception. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Check In, Check Out  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  The easiest rule Emma thought she would be able to keep as she worked night shift at the Storybrooke Inn & Suites was to not get romantically involved with any of the guests. Then came along Killian Jones, a job transfer with a sleep disorder, who’s bunking at the hotel until he can find a place of his own. (E, au, one-shot, complete)

At Your Convenience  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Emma may be the drummer of a famous band now, but before that, she was a girl making questionable choices with a guy she doesn’t expect to see on a stop to their singer’s hometown when they stop for a quick visit. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Shake Your (Cotton) Tail  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Killian has some questions about the logistics of egg hunts and mascots, but Emma convinces him to stop asking questions with the promise of an enjoyable evening. (E, canon-verse, complete)

We Got Us  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: How they got together is mostly a run-of-the-mill story. Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. A strange and complicated courtship followed. All that really matters to either of them is that they’re happy. They’re in love. They’re miles away from anyone who cares if they are in a relationship or not. And that only matters because no one that knows either of them would ever expect them to be in a relationship in the first place. Perhaps it would be easier if their brothers weren’t best friends. It’s the easiest separation between family and relationship that either of them has ever had. Which means that it can’t last, of course. (E, au, one-shot, complete)

I Will Learn to Let You Go  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Killian Jones, having lost his own soulmate years before, spends his free time finding the soulmates of other people. It’s what he’s good at, and he gets paid well to do it. Finding the soulmate of his latest client may prove to be the worst job he’s ever taken on, though. It’s not because Emma Swan is hard to find, but because he finds himself falling in love with her. (E, au, two-shot, complete)

1 | 2 

Lethologica  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Maybe if they could think of the perfect word to describe their friendship, everything else would fall into place. A slightly slow-burning friends-to-lovers au where Killian is a chef and Emma is in the Army Reserves. (E, au, multi-chapter, main story complete but more to come?)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

My Eyes, They Speak for Me  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Canon divergence from 3x13 onward, where Walsh never reveals himself and Storybrooke isn’t where it should be. Emma and Killian have to not only find a way back to Storybrooke and Emma’s family, but keep each other and Henry safe in the process. (E, canon-verse, multi-chapter, complete)

1 | 2 | 3

Knead Your Loving  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Prompt: My friend keeps lecturing me on the importance of self care and I booked a massage to shut them up.. But my masseuse is the anonymous stranger I fucked at Christmas. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Sirens Howl (Sneak Peek)  | FFN | Ao3 (coming soon)

Love So Sweetly (Sneak Peek)  | FFN | Ao3 (coming soon)

See That Smile  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Killian is the charismatic lead singer of a band known for making weddings unforgettable. That is, until his own wedding is cancelled and he vows to never sing at another one. Years later, he meets Emma, a bartender at the event hall and woman planning her own nuptials. But in the process of helping her plan her own wedding, he discovers that he does still have the capability to feel again, and it all starts with the way that Emma smiles at him. Of course this would be his luck. (E, au, one-shot, complete)

Wait for the Moonrise | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Emma doesn’t remember who she was before she was found in the woods, but she knows that she has a few close friends, a good job, and a loyal cat that greets her every day when she gets home from work. What she doesn’t know, however, is that her past is about to catch up to her in the strangest of ways. She learns quickly that not everything is as it seems, not even her cat. (E, au, multi-chapter, complete)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

It’s All in the Name  | FFN | Ao3

Summary:  Beloved Tropes- Coffee Shop AU in which Emma is the angry barista who constantly gets Killian’s name wrong. (T, au, one-shot, complete)

You’re the Tune that Stuck  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: A soulmates au where you can have any number of things happen to reveal you have a soulmate. In this one, Emma suddenly hears the songs that her soulmate are either listening to or have stuck in their head. (M, au, one-shot, complete)

Smoke and Mirrors  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Tweaked from the prompt “I was burning scented candles and fell asleep. You’re my neighbour who bashed the door down when my smoke alarm went off.” (T, au, one-shot, complete)

A Difficult Matter  | FFN | Ao3

Summary: Killian and Emma, in a moment of downtime, take a moment to discuss name possibilities for their soon-to-be-born. (T, canon verse, one-shot, complete)

The Art of Making (and Raising) a Pirate Princess | FFN | Ao3

Summary: It’s more than just a simple affair, making a baby with the woman he loves. It takes time and patience, and a lot of adjustment. Killian wouldn’t have it any other way, really, when it means living his happily ever after with his wife and daughter. (M, canon verse, part 2 to be written by @captainstudmuffin, incomplete)

On the Two | FFN | Ao3

Summary: He’s one bad trip from ending up in AA, and she’s one performance away from a solid job and moving closer to home. Their paths were unlikely to cross until Camp Hope brought them together. How and why they meet and intertwine is against the odds, and definitely against the rules, but will that really stand in their way? A Dirty Dancing inspired modern au. (E, au, multichapter, complete)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Always You  | FFN | Ao3 (summaries and ratings coming soon)

Modern Swimwear | FFN | (Killian comes across a piece of modern swimwear. Be warned of the “Swim Sock” reference... canon verse, T, complete)

Going Back | FFN | (A very dark little ficlet in which S4 finale Emma goes back for Deckhand Killian’s cutlass. canon verse, T, complete)

V-Neck Shirts | FFN | (Itty bitty thing about how Killian appreciates Emma’s v-neck shirts. canon verse, M, complete)

Thoughts In Dreams | FFN | (Another angsty little bit from Killian’s perspective after Emma is taken by the darkness. Pom’s picture here kind of holds hands with this fic. canon verse, T, complete)

Leave Your Hat On | FFN | (A requested fic where Killian finds his naval uniform. It was supposed to be smutty, but it ended up much more serious than I thought it would. canon verse, T, complete)

Little Things | FFN | (In the olden days of LJ, we would’ve called this a vignette in which Emma’s bed-hogging status is explored. modern au, T, complete)

Can I Kiss You? | FFN | (First in the Dirty 30 ficlets. BFFs to lovers. modern au, T, complete)

You Came Back | FFN | (Killian moves into an apartment and keeps getting the old tenant’s mail. And her hair is always everywhere. modern au, T, complete)

Are You Drunk? | FFN | (Part 1 of a coworkers bit. modern au, M, complete)

It Wasn’t Supposed to Happen Like That | FFN | (Part 2 of the coworkers bit. modern au, M, complete)

How Long Has It Been? | FFN | (A short, childhood friends reunited ficlet, guest-starring Mary Margaret as Emma’s roommate and David as Killian’s friend. modern au, T, complete)

I Just Want This | FFN | (Secret friends w benefits becoming more. modern au, M, complete)

Come Home with Me | FFN | (Part 1 of the vacation series. modern au, M)

Please Don’t Argue | FFN | (Part 2 of the vacation series. modern au, M)

I Did a Pregnancy Test | FFN | (Part 3 of the vacation series. modern au, T)

You Know, It’s Okay to Cry | FFN | (Part 4 of the vacation series. modern au, T, complete)

In the Form of a Question | FFN | (Set in the little quiet moments, Emma discovers that Killian is spending all his free time reading and learning, and would be a ringer on Jeopardy. canon verse, T, complete)

Relationship Rules 1 | FFN | (There was one rule: If the phone rang and it was an important call, Killian was to stop doing whatever he was doing between Emma’s legs until the conclusion of the phone call. Mythical timeline where things are good. Part 1 of 2. canon verse, E, complete)

Relationship Rules 2 | FFN |  (There was one rule: If the phone rang and it was an important call, Killian was to stop doing whatever he was doing between Emma’s legs until the conclusion of the phone call. Mythical timeline where things are good. Part 2 of 2. canon verse, E, complete)

Evolution of an Oops | FFN | (Another vignette of the progression of a relationship. Includes accidental pregnancy. modern au, T, complete)

Wanna Bet? | FFN | (From the prompts “Wanna bet?” and “Wait a minute, are you jealous?” modern au, T, complete)

Truth or Dare? | FFN | (Emma and Killian play truth or dare while waiting for their friends to arrive for dinner. modern au, T, complete)

Q&A | FFN | (Written for @pompeiiablaze - how Emma kept Captain Hook distracted at the tavern in the CS Movie. Check out her adorable artwork here and here! canon verse, T, complete)

What Goes Last | FFN | (tw: death, The most painful thing I have ever written about a factoid I read somewhere about how the senses leave the body during death. canon verse, M for theme, complete)

Definitely Time | FFN | (A sadly Joss’d fic about CS attending OQ’s wedding, and deciding to set their own date. canon verse, T, complete)

Nevers | FFN | (Based off that commercial about how the couple will never do the thing, and then they do it? Yeah, that’s what this is. modern au, T, complete)

Don’t Marry Her | FFN | (Based on the prompts of “I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married. You were never just my friend.” Where Emma sees Killian and thinks he’s getting married to someone else. modern au, T, complete) 

Why Are You Bleeding? | FFN | (Based off the prompt in the title, Killian greets Emma with a newfound respect for life after a complicated incident. Very short itty bitty fic. modern au, T, complete)

A Different Kind of Team Building | FFN | (Emma and Killian, coworkers, are on their way to a work retreat when Killian stops at a creepy, abandoned house where they stay for the night. Mentions of smut but no descriptions. modern au, M to be safe, complete. BONUS: a couple years ago for my birthday, @sambethe wrote me a re-mix of this fic and I am beyond fucking in love with it. You can find it HERE and give her some love for the beautiful re-mix!!)

4 AM | FFN | (Neighbors au where Emma kinda maybe sort of breaks in to get at Killian’s ice cream supply. But in her defense, he offered it. modern au, T, complete)

Partners | FFN | (A very ridiculous little fic where Killian and Emma have been challenged to be on different teams for darts. modern au, T, complete)

Always You | FFN | (Killian participates on a dating show where he attempts to win Emma Swan’s heart. modern au, T, complete)

Pressure Point | FFN | (Previous partners, Killian ends up in the hospital after getting shot. Very itty bitty. modern au, T, complete)

Floral Fan

School of Loverboys

Coming On Home

Pickup Truck

Multiples

Midnight

Scratch

They Lived

Hold On | FFN | (Based off the prompt:  we promised to stay friends but we’re doing the same stuff we did when we were a couple and i don’t wanna point it out because i don’t want it to stop. modern au, M, complete)

To Trying

Wanted: New Furniture

Non-Captain Swan Fics/OTHER:

Extra Good (Scarlet Wolf itty bitty ficlet)

Turn Around, Turn Around (Daddy Charming angsty feels)

Artisanal (A Snowing ficlet that will hopefully make you laugh but also punch you in the feels. Based around 6x16.)

Christmas Card Fic Bits 2017 (A mishmash of CS fic bits, and a Frozen Jewel fic outline)

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