#but he's still such an old man and he plays farm games but people love him

[burrcapts]

Puffing Past Your Prime

Oh man, Zach just loved whenever this happened! Ever since their social media app took off and reached top 5 most downloaded in the whole country people started inviting him to spots like this all the time. Was this one some posh restaurant? Cafe? Gentleman's club? Honestly, he had no idea, he simply received an email the other day from one of their investors that the people here asked about him and would like him to become a regular member. 

Naturally Zach had zero real interest in bougie crap like that, but usually he actually found it kind of funny to see the reactions of all those stuck up old men in suits whenever they saw him strutting into their elite clubs wearing nothing other than a t-shirt and a pair of old jeans with holes in them. More than once some of those pricks even tried to have him kicked out. But the staff at establishments like this seemed to be quite good at keeping tabs on the guests’ net worth so often they ended up sucking up to him rather than the old farts.

The waiters here were giving off a somewhat different vibe though… If Zach hadn't noticed that those few men who were always on the move, carrying trays around were wearing bow ties rather than neckties, he definitely wouldn't have been able to tell them apart from the regular guests! Places like this often looked kind of samey with everyone being old and wearing boring suits, but this was like a whole next level!

Zach had only just realized, but holy crap, there hasn't been a single person in the entire room who didn't have a ridiculously huge beard! He hadn't shaved since last week so technically maybe he was included in this, but his definitely wasn't as grey or white as theirs! The shades of their beards, the levels of baldness and the colors of their suits was pretty much the only thing that differentiated each one of them!

But one other interesting thing was that they were all smoking pipes! Even the waiters were having a puff while moving around and chatting with the guests. Did Mike forget to mention that this was some super exclusive spot for pipe smokers? Whatever… honestly, the thing that Zach found the most annoying was how nobody seemed to be paying much attention to him here. He purposely tried to be as loud and obnoxious as possible, unmuting his phone and playing that dumb farming video game that was right ahead of them in most app stores. Yet even then, the best reaction he got was some of them briefly looking at him with amused faces for a moment before returning to their previous activities and conversations.

“Good day, I sincerely apologize for the delay in attending to you Mr Bennett. My name is Theodore and I am the director of hospitality at our establishment. We are so delighted that you could pay us a visit today. I assure you that our staff will do everything in our power to make your induction to the club a truly exceptional experience!”

Just when Zach was starting to consider bailing out of here those two guys appeared right in front of him seemingly out of nowhere! The one speaking in an eloquent and surprisingly resonant voice was ridiculously huge, tall as hell, with a colossal belly like pretty much all of them. While somewhat shorter yet definitely still quite decently overweight one, standing a few steps behind him must have been a subordinate of his. 

Zach began to explain that this was a misunderstanding because he had no interest whatsoever  in joining their club or anything, but despite the very hospitable and eloquent welcome neither of them seemed to be paying much attention to whatever he said as they talked between each other.

“Shall I fetch one of the pipes, Sir?”

“Oh, naturally Sebastian, forthwith!”

“What kind, Sir?”

“Mmm… I surmise that one of the sluttier variety might be the most suitable for Mr Bennett, then he will naturally feel inclined to introduce numerous new, virile members to our association so they could fuck his slutty hole on the regular. Oh… one moment… yes, while I would certainly prefer him on the heavyset side so that ass of his grows truly colossal, why don't we also make him into a bit of a cum guzzling cock whore while we’re at it? Let's ensure that he always has either the stem of a pipe or a huge, turgid fuckstick between his lips! Do you think you can find a suitable one Sebastian?”

“Certainly Sir, I will return with one promptly!”

Hearing this guy say all those perverted, ridiculous things in the exact, same cultivated and graceful Männer as if he was some kind of a sommelier talking about an expensive bottle of wine would have been quite hilarious if his body language didn't make it immediately obvious that he wasn't planning on letting Zach leave until the other waiter was back. It was only now that all those old farts who were sitting all around were finally turning their heads towards him, watching the scene with utmost fascination.

Zach shouted at them to get the security because this guy was totally crazy but nobody budged at all. Rather than being concerned they seemed to find him freaking out so much more endearing than anything. When it became clear that they were all in on it too, Zach pulled out his phone and warned that huge guy that if he didn't let him go, he would call the cops.

Only then, something that temporarily broke Zach's brain proceeded to take place. Theodore took a deep puff from his pipe and then exhaled a tiny cloud of smoke towards Zach's hand that was holding the phone. It was just small enough to completely obscure it and even though Zach knew it was merely just smoke he instinctively tried to clutch the phone tighter within his fingers, only to find them clenching into fist! What the hell?! He waved the smoke away but his hand was completely empty!!!

“What the fuck?! How did you do that?!”

“Please Mr Bennett, turning a cellphone into a puff of smoke is merely a small parlor trick. Very soon you will have a chance to witness a far more impressive metamorphosis… Oh, would you look at that, Sebastian is already approaching with your pipe right on time!”

At that moment Zach remembered thinking it was kind of strange how this guy phrased it as ‘his pipe’ but as he caught a glimpse of what the other waiter was carrying on a tray, he understood straight away. It stood there, right on top of a highly adorned, golden stand, his pipe! It was like love at first sight. He never even thought about smoking one before but now they were going to be, no, they already were, completely inseparable! Its stem was placed between his teeth first thing in the morning and only left its rightful spot when he was ready to fall asleep!

A jovial, cheerful laughter spread across the room at the immediate change in Zach's demeanor as though all those men were now recalling some very fond memory of their own. On some level he understood that what was going on right now was totally crazy, but as if under some kind of a magical spell, he couldn't help himself when Theodore offered the pipe to him. 

Even thanking the man when he offered him a lit match so he could puff the pipe to life. Which Zach proceeded to do without a slightest hitch like a seasoned smoker. That also surprised him, but there wasn't much of a chance to ask himself why he knew how to do it so expertly because as soon as it was lit, he found himself greedily sucking on the stem and moaning in blissful pleasure. 

Oh gosh, he knew that this was his first time ever, but he felt like a drug addict getting his fix. It was just delightful, such a rich flavor! Sebastian always picked out only the finest tobacco! Zach moaned again, he was in heaven, his head was swimming as he started feeling warm and so… profoundly turned on! If he hadn't been in public, he would have already been reaching for his cock, but then again, so many of the men sitting around them already had theirs out and were merrily stroking while laying back in their big, leather armchairs and puffing along.

Sebastian was pitching a huge tent in his slacks and even Theodore was fondling himself with a satisfied smile. Zach noticed that, the first thought that popped into his head was how much he hoped they would pull them out soon so he could suck them both dry the moment he was finished with this bowl. Mmm, he just loved sucking off the other sexy gents at the club, he was such a cum guzzling cock whore and absolutely proud of it! 

Zach was just about to ask them to stop teasing him and whip them out next when he suddenly realized that he'd heard those words before. ‘Cum guzzling cock whore', that's what Theodore had said when he was instructing Sebastian what pipe he should fetch! Holy shit!

Now that the shivers started running down his spine at the terrifying, unbelievable implications of all of this and the abrupt shock partially outweighed the still persisting horniness flooding his head. Zach had the chance to take notice of just how uncomfortably tight his clothes were feeling right now. He'd managed to peel his eyes away from the bearded waiters’ sizable bulges, only to immediately regret it as he discovered a massive  gut sticking out from underneath his shirt.

Not only was it extremely hirsute, but all of the body fur was completely white! It made him look like some ridiculously fat grandpa! His shirt was rolling up so much that it could be mistaken for the top half of a bikini, which seemed awfully suitable because Zach could see it stretching over a pair of absolutely enormous man boobs!

As his eyes grew wide in disbelief, he instinctively took a deep puff from the pipe to calm his nerves, only to find the belly instantaneously swelling even further in size. The shirt splitting at the front and letting his huge, chubby tits to flop down on it like on top of a wide, spacious shelf. God… he was so fucking hot! Those were the first words that appeared in Zach's head, and for the life of him, he couldn't bring himself to deny them.

Somehow in mere moments since putting this pipe in his mouth, an old, fat, bearded man became his absolute ideal of beauty. Zach saw how wonderfully chubby his fingers were now and after admiring the soft, white hairs growing on each knuckle, brought them closer to his mouth. Much to his delight he discovered it surrounded by copious amounts of silky, delicate facial fur. He took a deep inhale and then began gently blowing the smoke into his palm, as if trying to catch it and massage it into his beard. Loving the feeling of it growing longer and more luxuriant between his fingers. Oh god… what was happening to him?! Why couldn't he stop?!

“What the fuck have you done to me?!”

Zach cried out before inevitably returning to exploring his growing and expanding body practically right away. One hand caressing his belly while the other reached for his swollen cock, completely overcome by pleasure.

“Nothing that any of us hadn't experienced when we were first initiated into the club, Mr Bennett. It is quite an honor, while our plans are to ideally connect all men worldwide to their destined pipes one day, understandably we first needed to prioritize those with the means to help us achieve that goal…”

He instantly understood why those bastards had invited him here. It was about his social media site! They wanted to use it to spread this shit… and make more sexy, pipe smoking gents… Zach felt a sinking feeling in his stomach when he realized that he was already thinking of all the different features they could implement in the future to spark an interest in their pipes in every single man who had ever registered. And he knew that once they had their first puff, it would then remain as their habit forever.

No… he couldn’t… and yet he was tugging on his cock even faster now, taking deeper and deeper puffs of smoke, finding it so marvelous how those big, hazy plumes were slowly escaping from between his lips whenever he parted them. He was sure that his users were going to find it just as enchanting too once he tweaks the algorithm a little and makes sure that their feeds are filled with nothing but videos and pictures of sexy, bearded gents having a puff as they play with their meat.

The temptation to join them soon becoming truly irresistible, but for that they will of course need a pipe of their own. Zachary moaned in profound arousal, knowing full well that even if a few were to, by some miracle manage to keep themselves from outright ordering one free of charge from their special internet store, they still had collected enough metadata on all of them to ensure that one would be waiting at their doorstep the following day anyway.

Mmm… Zachary couldn’t take this… he began picturing all those mesmerizing, big bellied, bearded gentlemen with their pipes! First filling the feeds of his website, then the streets of the cities all around the globe… introducing everyone they knew into this lovely habit… the biggest cloud of smoke yet had erupted from his mouth as he moaned deeply, his stubby cock twitching and spraying his massive, hairy thighs with creamy, white seed. And he simply could not wait to suck them all off one by one!

***

Zachary was quite amused to find himself back right in his personal office. Of course nobody from among his colleagues had recognized him, but when he suddenly stepped out of the elevator wearing this expensive looking, extravagant suit and holding a heavy suitcase, they must have assumed he was an important investor and asked him to wait for someone right here since, as he very well knew, that one room was still by far the most presentable part of the entire workplace that hadn’t changed much from the days when they were only a small start up.

Naturally nobody could get ahold of ‘Zach’ as his cell phone had vanished and all calls were going straight to voicemail, so the honor of entertaining him fell on Aaron, their CTO. Zachary was actually quite impressed by just how quickly his friend had managed to catch on to everything after he began recounting the events of the previous day. But fortunately Zachary had a chance to personally assist Sebastian and Theodore with picking out just the perfect pipe for him. Even though Aaron knew just what was coming, he couldn't possibly resist his invitation to have a small puff together. Or for that matter to later allow Zachary to wrap his lips around his engorged, stubby cock as they pondered about this exciting new direction for their company, and even more importantly, the best way to introduce their colleagues to all those pipes waiting for them in his suitcase.

If you liked the story and would like to read more bear themed transformation fiction, consider subscribing to my Patreon! I post captions like this and longer stories there regularly!

I have also set up two extra accounts on twitter and bluesky for caption purposes! https://x.com/burrcapts https://burrcapts.bsky.social/

[finalgirlrick]

Wicked Game

Pairing: Maggie x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: ~suggestive~ towards the end

Summary: A slightly enemies to lovers maggie x fem!reader farm era fic. I'm in love w maggie so this came super easy, I know it's not very popular to write about but w/e!! we all saw those dead city pics. shoutout @weretheones & @normanplusdaryl for encouraging my maggie simpery.

When you first met her, you swore she might’ve hated you. No, you were certain. With her narrow green eyes always fixed on you and a scowl on her face whenever you entered a room, it was hard to have any doubts. It was intimidating. She was intimidating. You were around the same age when you met, the only people in your age bracket holed up in her dad’s farmhouse other than Glenn. 

Her bold attitude captivated both you and Glenn, and you often found yourselves talking about whatever new shocking thing you witnessed her doing when you went on runs together. “Did you see the way she just slapped Shane?” Glenn asked completely baffled. “Yeah, she’s just asking for murder,” you joked holding back a grin. Maggie Greene, she was full of surprises -- and honestly, you wouldn’t mind sticking around to see how many more. 

There was no denying it, she was gorgeous. It wasn’t lost on anyone with her soft brown hair and the big smile that always stopped you in your tracks the rare times you were graced with it, usually when you bought her something on a run that you overheard her saying she needed earlier. And her distinct farmgirl fashion, maybe you wouldn’t have worn any of it, but she always pulled it off. She could pull anything off. 

Slowly, you became more friendly with her, it was inevitable when you were living in close quarters for so long. You eventually realized her earlier stubbornness was just due to being protective over her family and the farm, and you couldn’t blame her for that.  Once the initial awkwardness faded away, you, Glenn, and Maggie started having regular game nights to pass the time. They were full of laughter and chaos, and Herschel would sometimes peer in to remind you “rowdy kids” to get to bed, which only made you all laugh harder. A few times, you noticed the old man bite back a smile, in relief that there was still at least some joy in this new world. 

You loved seeing Maggie get competitive, or when she would try to trick Glenn into making the wrong move, which was more frequent than not. He was always visibly nervous and stammering around her, and you could tell she was using it to her advantage. She would tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, lean forward with her chest - god that was distracting, flash her doe eyes and that smile and he was a goner. You couldn’t blame him either, you always got butterflies whenever she pulled that move. But instead of reacting like him, you would chuckle and you would exchange a knowing glance with her, a new inside joke between you two. You couldn’t be happier to be a part of it. 

One game night, Glenn brought a bottle of wine he had scavenged, making sure to hide it from Herschel. The three of you had your usual nightly routine together, but Glenn started going overboard with the drinking and before you could finish the round of the game you were playing, he was passed out on the floor. “He’s a lightweight, huh,” Maggie giggled. You nodded. 

“So, I guess it’s just you and me now,” she pointed out. “Yeah, sorry about that,” you said with a half-smile, feeling those butterflies creep up on you. Her eyes crinkled when she grinned, “You’re funny.” Much to your surprise, she scooted around closer to you, making sure not to disturb Glenn, who was currently splayed out on the floor beside you. 

You felt like you were going to lose it. You didn’t have many moments alone with her, and this felt like completely new territory. Plus, the feelings you had developed for her didn’t make this any easier. There was no chance she would ever feel the same way, you knew it. You were going to make a fool of yourself and you were consumed with dread. 

“What do ya say we ditch this game?” she asked. You barely made eye contact with her as you replied, “Maybe that’s a good idea.” 

“This might be a good chance to get to know each other too.” The remark made you snap upright and you repeated it back to her. She continued, “Yeah, silly. Don’t you think it’s a good idea since we’re spending so much time together?” You gulped unsure of what to say next. “There’s just not much to know about me,” you scoffed. 

“Pffft, that’s a downright lie. You might be the most interestin’ person in this house.” You felt your cheeks turn pink and prayed that she wouldn’t notice. “Glenn’s interesting,” you said with a shrug, trying to distract from it. She looked over at him, “Yeah, real interestin,” and you broke out in laughter together. 

“Seriously, tell me somethin’ about you. What did you do?”

“I don’t know. I guess I was in school, I didn’t do much,” you sighed. “I was in school for a while too,” she replied moving in closer. Your heart was racing so fast you were starting to think it was dangerous.  “I think we might have more in common than I originally thought,” she whispered. She was making those doe eyes and you had to be going crazy. She couldn’t possibly mean…that, right? And why was she leaning in so close to you? In your bewilderment, you questioned her. She chuckled then, but it was different. It wasn’t like when you exchanged knowing glances when she pulled her moves on Glenn. She was looking straight through you. 

She took a deep breath in and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and just like that a wave of heat flushed over your body. Her face was mere inches away from yours now. “Do you like me?” she asked softly, almost embarrassed, a look you never saw on her before. Of course you did, you responded. In more ways than one, but she didn’t have to know about that. 

She nodded and smiled, and you just about jumped when she leaned in and brushed her soft lips against yours. It was a quick, shy kiss - waiting to see how you reacted and you were in so much shock that your mind went blank. But she was so beautiful, and right in front of you, and what the hell - she liked you. So you seized the moment and kissed her back, the movements getting more passionate and desperate by the second, both of your hands moving and grabbing in places they probably shouldn’t have when Glenn could’ve woken up at any second. 

“I didn’t think that was what you meant when you were asking if I liked you,” you admitted after the kiss was broken. “Are you complainin’?” she teased. “No. Of course not,” you giggled and her’s soon followed. 

[teabreakpancakes]

GENSHIN SAGAU Headcanons

hopping on because @mirology explained lmao, why HCs only? too lazy to write rn, ill do it tmrw or some other day, this is the old SAGAU btw, not the one wherein they're the creator n shi

Genre: Fluff

the characters become concerned with how much space the game is taking up so nahida ends up tampering with the code so you have more storage

rlly appreciates the fact that you still do your commissions and farm despite it being 1am alr, especially since you have school/work

you have more crystalflies than usual, not that you notice, but diluc collects the ones at dawn winery for you, albedo collects the ones he comes across in dragonspine and in general, they all just, collect the crystalflies they see

they argue about who deserves the good weapons lmao: beidou subtly flaunts her feats when the claymore users talk abt it, diluc acts like he's done with em but he also acts like he's most deserving of it, eula is indifferent but when they try taking hers, she gets defensive, you gave it to her, why do they get a say in it?. Meanwhile, itto is ranting abt how he obviously deserves it, chongyun is just silent but he does want the weapon too, dori is rich enough to buy anything, xinyan wants it too and sayu is just, tired why claymore? i love claymore

they're concerned abt your health, have you seen how tired you look? they wanna be able to take care of you irl :(

they send their letters even if you don't manage to log in, it's okay, they understand but don't leave them for too long

if you're rlly busy, you still try your best to play, they really love that

you always win the 50/50 or get them and a standard five star character

somehow, your mains rarely come home tho, esp(especially) if they're a four star. like, you've got the others c6 but they're still like, below c3, they're rlly sorry but they can't tamper with their drop rate like the five stars can :( chongyun main here : chongyun was so frustrated with himself when he didn't come home with shenhe to you, he didn't come home, not even once

eventually, when they found out how to watch you from outside the app, they took advantage of that: they save you from rlly awkward situations by playing your ringtone hehe, they're also capable of calling the police if you're in a shit situation

they like to remind you abt stuff you have in your to-do list

the harbingers, including the fatui and tsaritsa, were a bit.. eh with you, at least, until they heard you talk abt them, you wanted to pull for them?? meet them in game?? YOU WERE EXCITED FOR THEM?? HUH? wow, they felt shocked and maybe a bit flustered,, just a bit

man, they rlly wanna taste the food you have in your world, esp xiangling, the food looked rlly nice okay? oh and if you're bad at cooking, ei relates dw, even benny is astounded by how bad it is tbh

zhongli is embarrassed to hear you rant abt how often he talks when he's idle, childe actually teases him abt it no, we won't talk abt how people ship em, they're actually a bit.. eh abt that, like cmon, haven't people heard abt platonic relationship?

benny actually feels really upset when you get bad drops or artifacts and he's in the team, tho the others depending on who they are reassure him that the drops are even more bad occasionally even without him

okay, even without you having that five star, you've got their sig dish, like wha-

you like their clothing? man, they wish they could give you some of their clothes, they'll try their best to bring you into teyvat, besides, your world is shit anyways-

okay so, for context, i copied zhongli's red eyeliner thing and modified it to suit me if you copy their makeup look and you like it, they feel so flattered, they're so smug abt it too ahdajkdbkf

if you cosplay one of them, they're gonna B R A G, i mean bro, cosplaying takes so much effort okay

[positivelybeastly]

If you could make movies about Hank, how many would you do and what could we see in them? Like an origin story, specific storyline etc. Would it be live action or a cartoon/animation, if live action who would you cast as Beast?

Now this is a fun thought experiment!

So, I actually think that if I was going to focus specifically on Hank, I would want multiple series, each separated according to decade or periods of his life, as it were, and we're going to mix media a little bit. Bear with me. This is probably going to be a multi-part series, so, here's the first part.

60s/First Class

So, we start off with a live action series that begins in medias res - alarms are blaring, people are rushing through corridors, klaxons are bathing corridors in red light. Through it all, a young man with a frightened but determined look on his face fights through the tide until he reaches a room full of radiation suits. He pulls one on, takes a few deep breaths, and then pushes through into a reactor room that's clearly going critical.

No music. No dialogue. No sound, except for the thumping of a heart beat and the sounds of this intricate mechanism being cajoled, being calmed, being put right again, until eventually the alarm lifts. Now it's just the sound of heavy, panicked breathing, and the man keels over at the railing nearest to him as a group of men in identical radiation suits rush to him. He blacks out.

When he comes to, he smiles at the woman sitting beside his bed, and moves as if to kiss her, but she smacks his arm, before embracing him and kissing him. A doctor moves in to talk, but there's still no dialogue, just soft music. A small montage of people in suits, offering the man in the bed a lot of paperwork that he signs. Before long, he's well enough to leave the hospital, and he and his wife drive to a farm. They stand on the outskirts, arms wrapped around one another. Camera pulls back, revealing the name on the mailbox.

McCoy.

Cut to the intro, which is nuclear flames, genomes shattering, a mysterious, animalistic figure gazing out of shadow with yellow eyes that turn into spotlights, revealing the title of the show.

'X-MEN: BEAST - FIRST CLASS'

17 YEARS LATER

A young man who's the spitting image of the man we saw in this prologue sequence is being harassed by a young woman with blonde hair. They're talking about the last quiz they just had to take in Biology, and the young woman tells the young man that he needs to stop hiding who he is. How brilliant he is. He tells her that he's on the high end of normal, and she scoffs. They walk by a football tryout, where the coach is harassing his team, telling them that any old nerd could do better than them.

"You, McKay - over here, show 'em what I mean."

"It's McCoy, sir, and I don't know quite what you mean?"

The coach becomes ever more insistent. McCoy shrugs, shaking his head. He kicks the ball. It sails clean, hits the goal - at the other end of the pitch. The coach is flabbergasted. He wants McCoy for the team, but McCoy is uncertain - until the team kicks off, saying they don't want this gorilla on their team. One of them, identified as Janssen by his jersey, is particularly venomous, and McCoy gives him a coldly furious look.

"Coach, what position does Janssen play?"

Smash cut to the same number on the team, but with MCCOY on the back. Sports montage, naturally, with MCCOY as star player, intercut with the occasional side-eyed look from a parent or onlooker whenever he does something a little too amazing.

Jen is the love interest of the movie. She's great.

Final game of the season. Crowds are roaring, full football Americana experience. MCCOY is in full swing, but we aren't seeing things from his perspective, we're seeing things from somewhere up in the bleachers - from some kind of scope. It zooms in hard on MCCOY, a finger tenses, squeezes - misses. Screaming, hysteria. The scope view panics as MCCOY comes charging towards it, and we zoom out to see Janssen as McCoy clambers up the side of the bleachers with unnatural ease.

They fight. McCoy knocks the rifle away, but he's a little too strong, and Janssen nearly falls over the edge, and it's quite the drop. McCoy grabs him and stops him from going over, but he can't use his other hand to hold on to the bleachers and Janssen at the same time. He knocks off his shoe, and we get our first look at an oversized foot that looks to be as dextrous as a hand. McCoy moves to use this odd limb to help Janssen up.

Janssen hisses. Says he'd rather die than get help from a filthy stinking mutant that crawls all over human girls like he's a real man. He smacks McCoy's hand away, drops. We don't see the impact, but McCoy does. His eyes widen. He yanks off the football helmet and throws up, staggering as he climbs back up, just in time for the officials to come storming in. He looks red-faced, shaking. He looks guilty.

We cut to the farm. The McCoy family are quiet, withdrawn - worried. The parents keep looking outside, where their son has taken to disassembling and reassembling every piece of farm equipment available to him, as if that's going to make him feel any better. Edna and Norton talk, and they feel guilty, Norton especially, about the legacy they've given poor Hank, as we pan up over the kitchen counter and see a newspaper headline exclaiming about the mutant panic taking over the nation.

A knock at the door. Norton looks pale, so Edna answers - to a man dressed like some kind of Conquistador, which he identifies himself as. He brings out a sword and seems to cast some form of electricity with it, striking down Edna and Norton, drawing their son back to the house with a speed that defies thought, and it's only this lightning sword that stops him from bowling the man over right there and then.

The Conquistador wants this young man, Hank, to do him a favour - use his father's ID card to steal some specific components from the nuclear power plant he works at. He looks basically identical to him, he shouldn't even be questioned. His sword twitches in the direction of Hank's parents, and his jaw sets. He agrees.

A short, tense sequence at the power plant. Hank does the deed, but it's dangerous and it goes wrong, the alarms are sounded - but he gets away. He escapes to a warehouse where his parents are being held by the Conquistador's men, and the man is raving, rambling.

Hank trounces them, effortlessly. It's superhuman to watch, and Edna and Norton are wide eyed as Hank frees them, all of them silent. Norton opens his mouth, apologises. Hank doesn't understand, apologising for what? Norton gestures at Hank's obviously overgrown hands and feet. For that. That's his fault. Hank's expression darkens, and Norton realises what he's said without thinking, and he looks to Edna, but she doesn't know what to say. Behind them, the Conquistador is getting back up, pulling up his sword, aiming it at Hank's back.

A ruby red beam comes out of nowhere, blasting it away, and Hank turns around, to see . . .

The Professor explains who he is. What the people with him are, what Hank is - a mutant. Hank already knows, and the Professor smiles a little, because of course Hank does. The conversation continues, and Hank is interested, intrigued, even - he keeps glancing back at his parents, but they look very uncertain, even as they do their best to give him smiles and make sure he knows they're okay.

"There will be sacrifices, Hank. This won't be an easy life. But it will be a worthy one."

Hank agrees, but before he walks off with Xavier and the other X-Men, he embraces his parents one more time. He's holding them tighter than they are him when he lets go.

The series then adapts some 60s X-Men, some First Class stories - I'd definitely want to pull in the story where Hank and Bobby first becomes friends during a vacation road trip across the US; the Unus the Untouchable arc, where Hank becomes a wrestler; a momentary flirtation with Jean Grey, before he realises who she's pretty much destined to end up with; the beatnik foot cult; Magneto.

Costumes change, villains go by, and Hank is enjoying himself, growing, but as he grows older, he seems less satisfied.

Especially since we find out that Xavier wiped Jen's mind, and she no longer remembers Hank. For their safety. Hank is. Not pleased. It's the first wedge between him and the Professor, and they paper over it, but. It sticks.

Towards the end of the series, he receives a letter in the mail, and when it comes time to do Danger Room exercises, he's conspicuously absent. Xavier is oddly reticent to talk to him, and instead suggests that Scott, Bobby, Warren and Jean talk to him instead. Hank is in his room, the letter in his hands, and seeming torn. They all talk.

Hank wants to leave the X-Men. The very concept shakes them a little - the last time this happened, Unus attacked and they were nearly defeated - but the newfound confidence of having done this for a few years now means that they understand why Hank wants to move on. Everyone's been thinking about it, actually, Hank's just the first one to have a place he wants to go to rather than just 'not the school.'

They embrace. Bobby in particular takes a little longer than everyone else to let go, and it's clear it's killing him a little that Hank is going, but he does let go.

The final scene of the series is Hank in civilian clothes saying his final goodbyes. There's not a dry eye in the house. Jean kisses him on the cheek, Bobby hugs him way too hard, Scott clasps his shoulder, Warren gives him a fistbump. The Professor shakes his hand. They're all sad to see him go, but this is for the best.

Hank gets into his car, and starts it up. He looks back at the Mansion, the X-Men, wistfully, thinking, for a moment, that he should stop and go back. But in the end, he puts the car in gear and drives. As he leaves the Mansion, he adjusts the rear view mirror.

For the audience, Hank is replaced by something wearing his clothes. Dark furred. Monstrous. Unfamiliar. Familiar. Yellow eyed.

End credits. End of the series.

To be continued.

I actually have no idea who I'd want to play a young Hank, I'm not as up to date on young actors as I'd like, but I've been recommended someone called Noah Centino for a 17-20 year old Hank, so, sure? Whoever they are, they need to be able to pull off Hank's distinctive Superman curl.

I'd definitely want an almost sort of 'The Incredibles' tone to the X-Men sections of this series, where it's all deathly dangerous but the X-Men almost don't seem to realise until they do. Michael Giacchino does the score, because the man can do no wrong.

[citrusxsiniesis]

Batfam and video games headcanon

Bruce - Thomas was an enthusiastic of computer science so when the Atari was introduce he buy one and when Bruce born he plays alongside his son, before his parent deaths Bruce enjoy playing light gun games but he stops (for obvious reasons). Now he start playing alongside with his sons but he prefers the old fashion games (way too old according to Damian).

Dick - before his parent deaths they didn’t have any kind of video game and he didn’t went to an arcade to busy “helping” on the circus and practice his flips, even after Bruce took him in they never talks about it (Bruce didn’t touch a game after his parents). It was until he stayed with the titans that Wally introduce him to video games but being the hyper boy he was he didn’t enjoy them, but he could handle to play some short multiplayer games as Mario kart or super smash bros. Dick enjoy going to arcades with titans though. Now he’s a little less hyper and he could play alongside his friends or baby brothers and he manage to complete some games (no 100% tho).

Barbara - she never like them really but commissioner once bought her a Nintendo DS thinking it was a PDA (personal digital assistant) [man I’m old] she kept it and buy and play some games but she never get crazy about it.

Jason - they never had the money to spend on it, even after living with Bruce he never felt attracted by them. Roy once try to show him Assassins Creed, God of war and Fallout for its story element but Jason didn’t enjoy as much as read. But when it came to family nights he would be totally competitive. (Now that Bruce can enjoy light gun games again they tend to compete with each other Jason is surprise of how a good shooter Bruce is).

Tim - he is a hardcore gamer not only he play too much MOBA (LoL) and Action RPG’s he play too much niche and indie games. Actually he made his own games with a over complicated pseudonym that needs three different codes to decipher. Tim enjoy learning new mechanics and glitches. He is a pretty good SpeedRunner but didn’t compete but like to teach others to improve their runs. (Damian unknowingly plays three of Tim’s games Tim didn’t know how to feel about it cuz Damian said he likes the games a lot).

Cass - Tim and Steph introduce her to video games but she didn’t like most of the games surprisingly she enjoy farming simulation games, right now she had +500 hrs in his Animal Crossing New Horizons her island is beautiful and she really talks to her neighbors.

Steph - her mom once buy her a secondhand game boy advance with a copy of Pokémon emerald and she love it after dating Tim he show her new games but she still prefers Pokémon games than any other.

Damian - he is the shooter, fighter, racer kind of gamer he plays mostly online multiplayer he really likes to beat people and don’t enjoy loosing. (Jon prefers to play as team mates than rivals cuz Damian could be so intense).

Duke - he’s a chill gamer he plays anything she likes when he felt like. His parents buy him a PSP when he was younger he still prefers portable games he had a couple of Nintendo Switch.

[waluigis-837th-testicle]

more fluffy nyo rusame thoughts since yall liked the last one so much

Anya mandating when they watch movies. makes alfred sit down to watch cheesy new year and Christmas movies with her.

"All they're doing is yelling."

"yes! it is russian rom-com!"

also makes him change clothes before they go to the ethnic grocery store because she will not be embarrassed in front of the checkout girl no way no how alfred put on this calvin klein outfit you dress like old man on golf course.

Anya has a million petnames for Alfred. Fedka. Fedya. Milyi (sweetie). Daragoi (dearest).

if, for some reason, alfred has Fucked Up he does the only reasonable thing and hands over his MasterCard. she proceeds to drain his bank account at the Gucci store and treats her sisters to lunch.

Alfred knows how to braid hair and helps Anya braid her hair into high-fantasy princess styles.

"you look like a game of thrones character!!"

"i want to be the dragon girl."

"oh you're definitely the dragon girl"

they!!! talk!!! about!!! space!!!! a LOT!!!!

honestly them stargazing someplace in Montana on a road trip sounds....so fucking good. G O D

alfred is still mourning pluto. anya thinks he's silly. alfred mourns harder

they both have huge sweet tooths.

they would share a dessert with two spoons but let's face it, they're both too greedy for that shit.

i feel like they're both gamers. they visit each other's minecraft farms and animal crossing villages :')

me n the wife cuddlin in the gamer chair

one time alfred made anya hot cocoa when she was on her period and she cried :')

she's not used to people being nice to her like that

"is that :'( whipped cream?"

"yeah, do you not like it? jeez, i didn't mean to make you cry i can make another batch if you want"

"no :') it's perfect"

anya is taller than alfred i do not make the rules

how comically large the size difference is between them depends on you

she still steals his clothes :3 her favorite is this red flannel with a detachable hood that smells like him

and yes. she's sent him nudes with her wearing it

alfred gases her up when she's about to go out. whether it's for a business trip or a girl's night, he wants her to know that she looks like a baddy and he's proud of her

more often than not he's her photographer for nights when she wants to post selfies

once when Alfred is having a bad day, Anya constructed a pillowfort and they binge-watched the Star Wars prequels and cuddled in it. Alfred got to have his hair played with (WITH acrylic nails) while lying on the softest boobs this side of the prime meridian. to say he was in paradise was a gross understatement

in the same vein, they're both HUGE fans of any and all kinds of sci-fi. Star Wars, Isaac Asimov's writings, Battlestar Galactica, Planet of Storms, Solaris, ANYTHNG by Ursula K. Le Guin, etc.

honestly?? they just really love and respect each other. girlboss x malewife but they're both autistic nerds who love the sky and Hershey's chocolate. we stan

[anotherwonderfullife2]

Revisiting AnWL’s Original Bachelors

Before I state my own opinion on the bachelors, I’d like to address this:

So with everything else in AWL, the game’s original three bachelors (Rock, Gustafa, and Matthew) have received a facelift and slightly updated dialogue/cutscenes. I’ve seen a lot of back and forth online on whether people liked the big changes made to Matthew and Gustafa’s appearance (Rock’s appearance changed very little from 2004 to now) and I, for one, welcome our new(old?) bishie overlords. To really put this topic in perspective, I think we gotta keep in mind that when Another Wonderful Life came out, it was more-or-less 98% the same as A Wonderful Life, just with a re-skinned female PC and male marriage candidates. I have the strong suspicion that Gustafa, Rock, and Matthew (Marlin in the OG) were never originally designed or written with the intention that they would become the hottest bachelors in a female-led game. A lot of this can be seen just by comparing them to their female counterparts - all of the bachelorettes (aside from Nami) have a traditionally cute appearance and warm personality. The bachelors don’t follow this pattern as rigidly. Matthew is stand-offish, if not outright rude; Gustafa isn’t handsome; and Rock is.... well, flakey?

This isn’t to say the bachelors didn’t have their own charm at all. Rock shows his inner heart of gold on occasion, and is always honest. Matthew is a hardworking man just trying to contribute to his sister’s farm, and dealing with his own baggage. Gustafa is light-hearted and easy to please.

I think their facelifts in the most recent game just signals Marvelous’s commitment to appeal to more players within their target age range. Gustafa and Matthew look younger and bishie. Rock’s dialogue has him slightly more sympathetic. I don’t think these changes could be considered bad at all - just a sign of different times, with Marvelous understanding their players better.

Anyways, on to my opinions on the latest version of each of the three original bachelors: (I’ll give Gordy, the new bachelor, his own post later!)

Matthew is the first I wanted to talk about, because on the outside, he’s definitely changed the most. Gone is the bad-boy 90s delinquent hairstyle and demeanor that seemed more fit for a shonen manga than a farming sim - now he’s an office-worker bishie, but still struggling to make his own way in a new village, just like in 2004. Unfortunately, his updated looks don’t save him from his crappy attitude. One of his first rival cutscenes is him yelling at you for simply trying to carry on a conversation with Cecilia. You only get, like, two sentences in before he jumps down your throat. Ugh. That on it’s own way enough to discourage me from continuing to pursue him as a love interest. It’s just obnoxious and possessive. Would you believe this guy is 32 and still acting this way? In traditional fashion, other NPCs don’t call him out on his behavior, even Vesta, who knows how ‘he can be about Cecilia’ - and you’re just supposed to put up with it. I’m not sure if further cutscenes eventually remedy any of this, but his behavior is off-putting enough that I didn’t care about finding out.

Gustafa remains as chill and groovy as ever. He’s looking a little more John Lennon than elf/leprechaun these days, but the overall aesthetic is the same. They took his original shrugging animation away and replace it with the same generic arm-wave as everyone else, but not everything can be a victory. He has some expanded dialogue that freshens his character up a bit, and the love song he sings during the romantic cutscenes makes more sense in this translation than the first game. Gustafa was always my favorite in the first, and he continues to be so in this remake - always gentle and kind, and a good spouse and father. If only he could play more than one melody on his guitar. I just hope he bathes more often this time around.

Ah, Rock, the would-be playboy of Forgotten Valley. Still getting up at noon exactly. Still getting chased by the dog. His dialogue has been reworked to make him a little more humorous this time around, instead of mildly-annoying like before. The translators did a good job with him, and I was always interested in what he had to say, even if it was useless. Unlike Matthew and Gustafa, his design was almost entirely unchanged - his pants are slimmer and that’s it. His voice has also mysteriously deepened... though I wouldn’t put it past him to use a voice changer to try to entice the ladies. Just like Gustafa, his unique animation of gesturing with both hands was also removed for the generic arm-wave. He’s genuinely fun to talk to, just to hear what he has to say. His slacker attitude is off-putting as far as romance goes, though, even if none of the marriage candidates actually work on the farm. It’s about the attitude, people!

[palebloodcvrse]

Heres my fuckin gremlin:

The main event

The creature

His name is Ae, he got turned into a weird demon dragon thing when he was a kid, also some weird shit happened that left him mildly silly shall we say

He isnt part of any particular fandom and is part of his own story :p

Btw his design includes a lot of black and red and lemme just say if youre a black/red hater leave that mentality on deviantart. Fuck that shit

Every day wear:

Monster form:

Armor his adoptive father gave him:

His dad is a giant dracolich man who adopted him when he was 7 and turned him (dont worry, it wasnt forced on him, ae didnt wanna be human anymore due to some bs that happened to him, ill get in depth in another post)

They have a very addams family esque father son dynamic

This is his dad, kvstrathos (he didnt start wearing metal merch til ae did lol)

Heres Ae when he was a kid, he had ultra long hair lmfao

His dad is a few thousand years older than him btw.

Youd think being adopted by a murderous dracolich warlord would mean they have a tumultous dynamic, but no. Kvstrathos loves and spoils Ae and has dad of the year award behavior, always cookin him stuff teachin him life lessons tutoring him going on hunting trips telling him stories, playing games with him etc

So, this gremlin is very skittish and really doesnt like interacting with people much having grown outside of human contact for 90% of his life

His disposition often switches from impish/happy to a complete stormcloud the next

He often has intense mood swings and flipflops from being silly goofy to being not so silly goofy and concerningly... unstable.

(other than the fucked up court wizard his dad has, and even then the dudes an insane warlock and ex surgeon who was made immortal by an evil deity, ill upload him later)

Its left ae pretty much ignorant of how the human world worked other than outdated shit (he still thinks humans have widespread villages and farms like in the middle ages, boy was he wrong) since all his dad had in the archives about human history are all outdated historical texts (oh but all the occult crap? That got saved.)

So he grew up learning how humans tried to bind demons but doesnt know what a stanley cup is.

His dad spent his days training ae in various combat arts, sometimes showing him some weaponry or old siege equipment/medieval torture devices, etc and mr insane warlock was there to tutor him on dark magic if his dad was busy, and also to act as some sort of babysitter

Ae grew up in a castle with nobody but his dad and the court wizard for company so he pretty much doesnt know how to socialize with like... normal people.

Ae likes a lot of things:

Morbid crap, gardening, the woods, (he has an obsession with farms and nature.) Medieval weaponry, the occult, FOOD and the baking and cooking/preparing of said food, animals. Especially cats. And metal. Holy shit he went to the human world very few times but he fucking found some metal records in an abandoned shed and couldnt stop listening to it after.

As a result his dad gave him an enchanted guitar that has destructive properties and now hes some fucked up heavy metal bard on top of being taught by a giant dark knight and warlock on various combat arts.

Gory descriptions under the cut

His body is heavily mutated from the amount of dark magic that seeped into him since the ritual™ and therefore it has weird traits like worsening his vision while increasing his other senses like hearing and smell, regenerating wounds but also randomly forming painful clusters of black nerves, mouths and eyes that sometimes dont go away on their own, sickening him or strengthening him randomly, etc this boy is not normal and doesnt function as such.

As a dracolich (not all undead dragons are azeratean dracoliches, more lore on that later) he consumes the flesh and souls of demons and corrupted humans.

He often needs said blood and flesh to stay and healthy and strong.

He and his father are children of a dark elder god but theyre not wholly evil, its a whole thing that I dont wanna type out in one post for now.

[basuralindo]

I have never heard of it until now, but here's your ticket to talk about Evil Within.

First off, thank you, you're the realest. Secondly, YOU don't know about evil within???? It's whump city, and also just a really good engaging horror game and probably the best thing I've ever played. You gotta check it out I'm begging you, the first one specifically, the sequel was made by different people and doesn't hit the same. It's old in video game years so probably cheap now which is a bonus, and the graphics are still beautiful. (If you can't play it, at least go watch a playthrough -I recommend markiplier)

Anyway, propaganda aside, onto blorbo et al.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Ruvik. I am rabidly obsessed with this fucked up little dude. A man who really Gets the horrors of fucked up farms and behind the times medical treatments. He's done everything wrong. Also unintentionally very funny once you've gotten numb to The Horrors

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): I don't have much of a fun answer for this one, I think Leslie Withers is the closest guy to being cute in that game, but if I recall there were also chickens present at some point, so they get the medal actually. scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): I don't think monster Laura is actually underappreciated, I love her but everyone else does too soooo... Kidman was actually more interesting than I think she gets credit for. She was low key about it and felt randomly placed at times, but for actual plot reasons that make it better. glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): That one weirdo in the cell dropping cryptic hints. Also honorable mention to the rat running around with a statue on its head. poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Uhhh. Ruvik is probably the poorest meow meow you're gonna get, but I named him already. I don't think Joseph is problematic and I hope he's not unpopular, but he sure does Go Through It and angst. horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): So, the whole game is basically centered around putting Sebastian through the plinko and it's fun as hell, but also not optional. However I would very much choose to torment Dr. Jimenez at every opportunity because he's awful but in a funny way. eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): I. Fucking. HATE. The Keeper. He hasn't particularly done more wrong than any other character in there, but he's killed me the most and caused the most palpitations.

Thanks for coming to my indecipherable ramble. I love this game please check it out if you like horror

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Chickens/Spirit of Blue Sky

Well look at that, a full trailer for CHICKEN RUN: DAWN OF THE NUGGET is finally here.

CHICKEN RUN is a long-time favorite of mine. I caught it in theaters back in the summer of 2000, at the age of 7. I must've watched the VHS copy I had multiple times. I even had, of all things, a CHICKEN RUN lunchbox depicting Rocky the rooster in the sky on his tricycle. To say I loved this movie is understatement, and to this day? It still *slaps*...

When I learned that CHICKEN RUN was getting a sequel way back in... I want to say late 2017? Early 2018? I was definitely curious and cautious. I was later dismayed to hear that Ginger's voice actress Julia Sawalha wasn't returning because apparently she was told that she was too old. She's going to be 55 in a few days... But her replacement, Thandiwe Newton, is 50. Soon to be 51... That's some nonsense that I'll never understand to this day.

That being said, a new CHICKEN RUN was cause for celebration anyhow. After some character posters and small clips and reveals, we finally have an idea of what this movie is going to be like. I'm definitely surprised that Mrs. Tweedy is back, instead of putting the chooks up against a new menace, and it appears to be retreading similar factory-farming perils and escaping a dinner plate fate stuff. This time, as the trailer and poster emphasize, with the mechanics reversed: A break-in movie rather than an escape, we went from THE GREAT ESCAPE and STALAG 17 homages to James Bond and MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE. "Chicken: Impossible"?

It actually makes a lot of sense. CHICKEN RUN is clearly set in middle-postwar England, a dreary midcentury setting that many peg at the late 1950s judging by the old tech and such, but it's actually set in - at the earliest - November 1961. How's that? Well, I am nerdy about certain things, and I know that the song Rocky is listening to in that scene where he pedals by the Mrs. Tweedy's Chicken Pies billboard came out in November 1961. That song, Dion's 'The Wanderer', was a #10 hit in the UK. So, CHICKEN RUN is set either in late 1961 or sometime in 1962. I'd imagine it doesn't go farther than that, at least not to the days The Beatles had finally made a splash. (Their first official single, 'Love Me Do', released in October 1962.) It's a small detail, I get it. I'm sure the filmmakers behind the original didn't think about it as much as I do, they probably thought "Oh, a '50s song, let's have him be listening to that!" Or maybe they did overthink it, too!

So... CHICKEN RUN 2 going for a mid-1960s James Bond spy movie vibe, completely with a very '60s spy movie-looking evil lair-like place, checks out. Either way, I'm game to see it. It'll hit different seeing it on a small screen, but that's just how it all goes, doesn't it? Aardman's previous feature, FARMAGEDDON: A SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE (which was very similar to CHICKEN RUN), played theatrically in the UK a few months before COVID hit. Here in the states, it hit Netflix on Valentine's Day 2020, just a little before the outbreak. Even in a world where COVID never happened, it probably still wouldn't have had a chance at hitting theaters. (Though the weirdest thing is, Lionsgate at one point was going to release it theatrically, like they had done w/ the first SHAUN THE SHEEP movie. If you saw EARLY MAN in theaters in February 2018, like I did, you saw a FARMAGEDDON teaser before it. It had no release date, but still...)

Anyways, heck yeah CHICKEN RUN 2!

Other cool news this week, Annapurna Animation has upped their game. Big time. After saving the scrapped Blue Sky Studios swan song NIMONA, with much of the same crew back to complete it, they have expanded and not only kept some key people from NIMONA (like director Nick Bruno and producer Julie Zackary), but also some former Blue Sky veterans... Like none other than Chris Wedge himself! Director BUNNY, ICE AGE, ROBOTS, ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN, EPIC! The last thing he directed was a live-action movie with some VFX creatures for Paramount, called MONSTER TRUCKS... He'll be back to direct a new animated feature called FOO. It's been ten years since he directed/finished an all-animated movie, so I'm very pumped about this.

Nick Bruno has an original movie in the works there, along with more projects, so that's great. I wonder what his NIMONA and SPIES IN DISGUISE directing partner Troy Quane will be up to, then. Annapurna is also making an animated feature out of a game they released, STRAY, a tale of a stray (what else?) cat in a techy future. And that game came out rather recently, too, so it's cool to see the movie taking off this quickly. Coincidentally, Blue Sky at one point was considering adapting the creature creator game SPORE into a movie... I've never played the game, but I'm a sucker for weirdo futuristic stories and settings. NIMONA's take on a futuristic world was really cool, so Annapurna has this game down pat.

So let's see... Wedge, Bruno, Zackary... In addition to more Blue Sky alumni like Erica Pulcini, Robert Baird, and Andrew Millstein... Yeah, the spirit of Blue Sky Studios lives on at Annapurna Animation, and I think that's very nice. Annapurna took over and completed what was to be a Blue Sky feature film, and they have now landed some of the studio's key people. There's something kind of sweet about that, honestly... I wonder if this means certain canceled Blue Sky projects, such as the musical FOSTER, could live to see another day... Disney heads, namely Bob Chapek, made such an obtuse decision shuttering Blue Sky, so it's fantastic to see that NIMONA was saved by Annapurna and some of their existence as well...

[i-rate-horse-games]

Horse Life 4

first off, the picture on the box has nothing to do with the game?? who are those people?? that's just a photograph. false advertising!

the game starts out having you ride around and be led around the area by the friend of your recently deceased grandma, who left you the farm. fortunately you don't have to do any farm management, just use the resources and hang out. the riding mechanic is cool, you tap A repeatedly to build speed and then hold it forever to not slow down. it's exhausting! and a majority of this game is riding around the farm!

you get to care for your horse via minigames. to feed your horse, you get to actually prepare its grains using the 3ds tilting mechanism to pour feed bags, stir it with the touch screen, and then pour into the feeding trough. i like this because i rarely see games use tilting on the 3DS. you also brush your horse, which you can lose if you accidentally brush its face three times in a row like i did. you also pick its hooves, but you just tap four rocks per hoof four times.

it's relaxing. there's pretty scenery and ok background music with lovely bird songs that fooled my cat! for 3d 3DS graphics, i don't think it gets any better than this! the character actually posts trot and canter!

your horse apparently never learned how to jump, but as soon as your dead grandma's old friend suggests you try it, they sail right over low obstacles no problem first try lol

there's this girl named Elizabeth

to progress, you have to ride back and forth all over the place. you don't have to progress to enjoy it, though. as far as I can tell the entire map is open to explore from the start, as well as the events. although a few minigames seem to get unlocked as you go.

this tourist is my favorite. i too collect pinecones and ask people for them

wait oh no

no no no PLEASE no i do NOT want to break this couple up and end up in a romance with this man. no no no. wait. where did Joshua's horse go. this was all the same cut scene but in the second pic he's just standing there. you can't even get off your horse in this game.

nooo not you too mr lumberjack man....

NOOOOO

forget that. check out these limp sleepy cats

we had to cross a river over and over to pick them up off a little island and plunk them down on the other side. we are a hero

in the forest area it's hard to go fast because the paths are narrow and even touching the air off the path makes the horse stop and rear. Elizabeth was there and asked for a rematch and it took me three tries to beat her and the only reason we won was because we learned where she passes us and physically blocked her. "my horse must have stepped on a splinter! there's no pride in your narrow victory." you're right, Elizabeth.

"even if you cheat your way to victory again, it doesn't matter. joshua isn't watching this time. i know exactly what you're up to!" EVERYONE STOP i am NOT HERE to get a Man

starting to get seriously annoyed every time my horse senses a wall and stops dead in its track to rear and screech. we just did like 5 timed quests and my word that did not help

for now, i rate this game 3.5 out of 5 stars!

★★★✬☆

the music is nice, the game is nice, and the quests are pretty fun! the plot didn't hook me but all things considered i think it's alright. there's a two player minigame mode but the other player needs their own copy of the game, but that's still pretty neat. it's a sweet little 3DS horse game, and a tiny world of its own! i wasn't invested enough to finish it, but i did enjoy what time i spent with it.

if you're interested in playing it you can get there pretty quickly if you have a homebrewed 3Ds! wink

[judgementdaysunshine]

For the birthday celebration (HAPPY BIRTHDAY BTW!!!!): 🌲 + X-Men fandom, Indiana Jones fandom, and Star Wars fandom (male character preference) + I’m a 30 year old queer woman (she/they) who is Graysexual and Biromantic. I’m 5’1” with a peaches and cream complexion, dark green eyes (tho my right eye has a blue film over it due to blindness), long dark brown hair, and an almost hourglass figure. I’m a Hufflepuff! I’m compassionate, stubborn, get frustrated easily, silly, happy, cute, passionate, have OCD, Dyscalculia, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I’m Autistic. I studied general studies in school (I switched majors a few times). I’m ethnically an Ashkenazi Jew and was raised both religiously Roman Catholic and Jewish. I am trying to be more religiously Jewish. I love animals a lot. I love reading (especially history, romance, myths/lore, anything about Judaism/being Jewish, and fiction), botany, space, cats, my faith, playing games, dancing, singing, traveling, and naps. When I get frustrated/upset or despondent, I tend to belittle myself and think that whatever is wrong is my fault even when it is not.

OMG my lovely I first ship you with Finn Dameron! 💫

He was blown away with how you looked but when he saw the blue film over your right eye despite what it was from it made your eyes look like the galaxy with a milky way

He didn't know a lot about religion but once he found out you were Jewish he researched learning everything about the culture from how it started to what people can and can't do due to the religion

He would find your body figure beautiful and absolutely always running his hands down your sides gently whenever he could always admiring you in whatever you were wearing even in the plainest clothes and pajamas

Every time you would get overstimulated or frustrated he would just wrap his arms around and hold you rubbing your arm or sides for as long as you need

He never fails to smile whenever you did the most simple thing to help others even when you didn't have to but still did

He always shows how much he cares for and loves you when you belittle yourself always interrupting before you can finish what you were saying and holding your shoulders giving you the most breathtaking kiss in your life making you fall in love again and again

It's number two I ship you with the man himself Indiana Jones! 🤍

He always does little dances to make you laugh in between the crazy adventures the two of you go on across the world for the next historical story

He can tell when you are getting frustrated or overwhelmed so no matter where the two of you are on your journey he will take you to a place he knows that will make you calm and happy whether it's a flower garden in the Netherlands,small rabbit farm in Scotland,or a local cafe in France

Anytime he hears you try to talk bad about yourself he either puts his hand on your mouth with a certain look on his face or kisses you telling you in between each kiss how much you mean to him

He has met quite a few different people of many races,religions,and sexualities and he had a few friends who were Jewish and would always try to follow the traditions and what not to do under the religion

Anytime you're overstimulated he always puts headphones with your favorite songs on a walkman for you to listen to until you feel calm

He can never not look at your body no matter what you're wearing and how many times he's seen your curves and every mark on your body

He always smiles when he looks in your eyes especially in the orange sunlight making it seem like your eyes were the clear ocean water in Puerto Rico with the white foam flowing on shore

And finally I ship you with Erik Lehnsherr! ♥️

He always takes you to the greenhouse or library whenever you're upset and needing to get away and a break from everyone else him with you

He always loves looking and seeing your figure and curves no matter if you're wearing a tank top and jeans,pajamas,or a nice dress he bought for you oogling over your body every single time

He does little random things to make you smile and laugh even in the dead quiet reading looking up to see erik wearing the most ridiculous hat in the whole school makes your day

He loves all of you but his secret favorite part of you was your eyes always reminding him of all the green plants and light blue of the sky peeking over them making them more beautiful

He is always ready with some type of soft items you can hold in your arms when you're overstimulated and tired to help you calm down and fall asleep

He immediately researches and writes a list of dos and not to dos after learning your Jewish even learning how to make your favorite meals from the culture bonding the two of you together even more

Every time you bash yourself he gently turns you to look at him slowly talking to you telling you how wonderful you are and how much he truly loves you always giving you a gentle kiss on the forehead

[theeeveetamer]

I just wanna talk about the new Story of Seasons/Harvest Moon game for a second because honestly like

A(nother) Wonderful Life (the OG for the GameCube) was always such a fascinating entry to me because it’s quite literally one of the most barebones and easiest entries in the entire series. Like, there’s only four festivals, only a handful of random events, probably the smallest farm of any entry, it’s super easy to build friendship and villagers don’t have that much dialogue… yet if you ask any fan of the series they’ll probably still rate it highly. And I’m the same! I absolutely love the game!

I really do think the game’s simplicity is what makes it stand out in the grand scheme of things. It’s just a chill lil game that doesn’t require much from you and you can kind of take it at your own pace. And it has less of the like… massive farming empire vibes? of other entries or a game like Stardew Valley. More like a little homestead.

I think the remake really captures that essence too, but with improvements. I wanna talk about what I think they improved on a bit, more under the cut cuz it’s gonna get long.

I haven’t timed it, but the days feel MUCH quicker in the remake. In the OG it felt like you could get absolutely everything done (farming, running around and gifting + collecting all the flowers and such) by about 2 pm. I thiiiiink that was to give you time to do the archaeology and fishing and whatnot, but IMO the days in the original still moved way too slowly (also didn’t the game time pause while fishing and stuff? It doesn’t anymore)

Tool upgrades! The tools now have copper, silver, and gold variants that can be bought from Van assuming certain criteria are met, which means you can easily upgrade your stuff without having to know obscure triggers (e.g. befriending Romana and coming to her room at a certain time to get the watering can that can water 9 squares at a time). This makes it actually worthwhile to use all of your farmland AND water it twice a day, since it’s no longer going to take you hours of button mashing just to water everything.

Obvious but all the glitches are fixed now too. So Van no longer comes every day of the week, selling a calf doesn’t permanently lock a barn slot (what killed my first playthrough), etc.

The bulletin board is a nice way to help players gain friendship/pass the time but in a slightly different way. Plus it will notify you of important items, like the alarm clock!

The festivals are MUCH harder to miss now

I believe they added more little cutscenes (or at least possibly made them easier to trigger)

You can marry anyone! You can also pick your character’s pronouns so you can officially play a non-binary character. They do only let you pick between he/him, she/her, and they/them tho.

Adding onto that, they let you have a daughter finally, without any bullshit.

There’s kind of an inbuilt achievement system, which I think actually does wonders for helping give you direction while playing. Stuff like fish up so many types of fish, have so many animals born on your farm, etc. I don’t know if it’s possible to get all of them in a single playthrough but I am actually trying

The UI is MUCH clearer and more informative with stuff like showing you your exact stamina and energy levels

The cows no longer have to be bred to continue giving milk. I know some people probably won’t like this much since it added a bit of realism to the game, but I prefer it this way tbh. Because of the way breeding worked in the old game you basically always had a cow that wasn’t giving you milk, cutting into your profit margins

The goat. iykyk

Downgrades

They Bishiefied Cody (Gordy now) :( I wish the SoS games allowed their bachelor(ette)s to have more body diversity in general. Woulda married that man in a heartbeat with his OG design lemme tell you

The fucking territory mini game is still here. And you have to win ten games to earn a music record. Help.

[justwannaflex]

(—) ★ spotted!! LUKAS WALKER on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 27 year old looks like JOSHA STRADOWSKI, but i don’t really see it. while the ACTOR is known for being PASSIONATE my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be RESENTFUL i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song WHATEVER IT TAKES BY IMAGINE DRAGONS {he / cismale}

Headline

Whatever it takes. 'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins. I do whatever it takes. 'Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains. Whatever it takes. Yeah, take me to the top I'm ready for. Whatever it takes. 'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins. I do what it takes

Stats

name: lukas walker

age: 27

nicknames: tba

date of birth: 1996

place of birth: armour (USA)

nationality : american

gender identity: cis man (he/him)

sexuality: bisexual

family : tba

occupation: actor & former baseball player

career claim: tba

net worth :

spoken languages : english

positive traits: 

negative traits: 

characters/celebrities inspo: tba

Bio

tw: car accident, alcohol & drug abuse

Born in a tiny town, Armour South Dakota, nothing destined Lukas for stardom. The most the farm kid had expected had been to move to Sioux Falls and find a job there in the big city. But destiny had other plans for him.

Lukas was raised on a farm by parents who taught him the meaning of hard-work. He was always a very active child and loved all sports. His grandfather, George, was a big fan of baseball and played with Lukas a lot while he was still in shape. Once a year for Lukas' birthday, George would take his grandson to the Canaries game in Sioux Falls. It was a moment Lukas cherished and some of his best memories.

Lukas showed real talent for baseball and decided to pursue it as a career. He enrolled on scholarship to South Dakota State University where he played for the Jackrabbits. After two years, he was drafted as a non-roster pitcher for the Sioux Falls Canaries and dropped out of college. After a few months a roster Canaries' pitcher left for New York, Lukas took his spot. While his team never won anything major, he made a name for himself. He was offered a position in the Los Angeles Dodgers and took it. Once again, he rose up on the roster.

It was a bit difficult to adjust to life in LA and all the people and his own celebrity. Lukas was played more than once off the field. Even if he missed South Dakota, it was a dream to play for the LA Dodgers. George was so proud of his grandson. Lukas won everything there was to win with the Dodgers both as a player and as a team member. He dated an actress and was at the top of his game until one day he lost everything.

After a night out with his teammates, he got into a car accident. The drunk driver recovered but not Lukas. He underwent two shoulder surgeries but was not able to go back to professional level and had to stop his career. Baseball had always been everything to him. It had been his whole life and he did not know what to be without it. So he spiralled out. He drank, took drugs and partied the pain away. He became unbearable to be around. His girlfriend eventually left him, not able to deal with the man Lukas was becoming.

As an attempt to get his girl back, he auditioned for Riverdale and ended up cast as the lead Archie Andrews. Lukas quickly realised that his plan had not been the brightest. He hoped that the show would get cancelled as he hated it but much to his dismay Riverdale became popular. Lukas is under contract and has to star in it and promote it despite how much he dislikes it (imagine a Robert Pattinson hating on twilight kind of vibes).

Baseball career

Lukas used to be a pitcher for the South Dakota State University Jackrabbits (2014-2016), then for the Sioux Falls Canaries(2016-2018) and finally for the Los Angeles Dodgers (2018-2021). In 2021 he injured himself and after several surgeries was not able to recover and had to end his career.

CLUBS

South Dakota State University Jackrabbits (2014-2016)

Sioux Falls Canaries(2016-2018)

Los Angeles Dodgers (2018-2021)

TEAM AWARDS & ACHIEVEMENT

World Series (2020)

NL Championship Series (2018, 2020)

NL Division Series (2018, 2020)

NL Wild Card Series (2020)

SOLO AWARDS & ACHIEVEMENT

Rookie of the Year Award (2017)

MVP (2018)

Cy Young Award (2020)

Gold glove Award (2020)

Silver Slugger Award (2019)

Acting career

Since 2022 he portrays Archie Andrews on Riverdale.

[lucysarah-c]

Since you hc Levi in the Underground as kind of a womanizer, did you thought about who he was willing to sleep with and how was his first time? 🤔

Hi, love! How are you?

Warnings! Mentions of underage sex, Prostitution and drug use.

Mhh well this is all like a personal headcanon, I am never trying to push my personal ideas or make someone feel bad.

I don't think Levi is a person who judges on appearance much. I just think that Levi has a sweet spot for really girly girls 🤣 I had always seen Levi as a really "masculine" guy, the way he talks, the way he portraits himself. So I think that he has a soft spot for girly girls, don't know. I think he would like girls who look well put together or that take care of her appearance. Don't know, I imagine him loving a soft pastel pink lingerie that makes him say "you're a good girl, eh? But you do bad things for me"

But to explain to whom he is willing to sleep with, I think I should explain a bit what my headcanon in the underground is. First of all, I based this on a lot of stories from male friends of mine and my time helping people from marginalized environments to get their highschool degree. I helped older people who were trying to finish school because when they were younger their parents couldn't send them, they were raised on the streets or their parents were in jail and therefore as kids and teens they were surrounded by really dubious groups. You learn a lot about how different people from places that the law doesn't exist on how hard their life is and how privileged we are.

Based on that, I feel like Kenny abandoned Levi when he was around 11-12 years old. Old enough to survive but probably Levi had to join certain groups to survive, in places like that group is the only way to survive unless you become powerful enough to be on your own. I feel like Kenny made him pick up that fight so people would take him seriously but he still needs a group.

Therefore, I feel like teams to accept him probably wanted him to prove he was "a man" and made him sleep with a prostitute. I think this because I have a lot of male friends who were part of rugby teams that for them to get promoted to more important teams they were taken to "debut" because "men play better than boys". This is an insane practice that not until recently was considered normal. It surprised me how many guys were taken to debut at 18 as if it was "normal". Keeping that in mind and considering that Snk seems to be around 1800-1900, I wouldn't be surprised that this was the scenario. So, I do feel like Levi probably lost his virginity like that around the age of 15.

On the other hand, being surrounded by this kind of environment requires you to play the game to survive. So that's why I think until Levi was around 18-20 to know how to look after himself completely and won a certain reputation to be on his own, I feel he probably belonged to gangs. Thinking that in these gangs drugs and alcohol are more common than anything else, I do feel he probably had a really wild teenage years. Plus, in Snk there doesn't seem to be any kind of refrigeration so the only food that could arrive was canned or anything that survived the trip from the farms to down there. Probably, drugs were cheaper than food.

All that together, I feel that in his teens Levi was involved in a situation that practically drags you to behave in that way. I feel he probably began to slow down when around his 18, he was on his own completely and that helped and then he did a complete change of his style of life when he found Isabel. I did a post about it, but I feel he probably felt he needed to be up to the task of raising a girl on his own. He got clean on his own and his sexual activies got down a lot 😅. Plus, I feel like when he began to be on his own, he stood up for the "district" (I feel like there are probability like districts or zones in the underground) he lived in when MPs or people crossed a line. Kind of "I am in charge that even in the bullshit we live in, we respect certain rules"... And that got him his popularity and the girls making lines to get a chance with him. Saying that, I feel like once that began to happen he probably had a sexual partner that it was like an arrangement, a fuck buddy basically. They fuck, they were exclusive but mostly to keep STIs to a minimum but no feelings. Probably a woman he trusted that wouldn't use to know him against himself, like not selling information to other gangs or the MPs.

So, in conclusion, preferences in his teens were probably non haha from 18-24 that he joined the scouts, probably a woman he could trust and he liked how she kept herself tidy. Virginity? Probably a prostitute.

[enbyleighlines]

Leigh plays Tellius prt 14

It's time for the penultimate chapter of Path of Radiance! I was excited for this chapter, hoping that I could farm as much exp for my units as possible.

Strangely enough, I was excited to see Izuka. He's just a delightfully fun villain, the type of villain you love to hate. And is it just me, or does he somehow look worse in this game than he does in the sequel? He definitely looks older in Radiant Dawn, but for some reason looking like an old man suits him. Here, he just looks off-putting.

I am a little sad that they dropped Izuka's weird character quirk of saying "Wheee!" every few sentences. It's just so ridiculous.

Naesala really can't help but immediately flirt with Leanne, huh? I love these two. I'm always a sucker for the childhood friends trope.

I really like how they handle this scene. The visuals are very minimalist. In fact, for most of the scene, we just have a pitch black background, plus the soundtrack falls silent, which means it all falls on the dialogue to set the mood. I think it does a fantastic job. Especially having Ranulf react like this, since in every other situation he has been entirely unflappable. It's all done very subtly, which I enjoy.

I also appreciate how, even when they show the dungeons, they don't show anything explicit. (Obviously the game would have a different rating if they did.) But even without seeing the full picture, I always get chills looking at that single still image.

I'm so glad that Tibarn and Ranulf get the opportunity to tear Izuka to shreds in the sequel.

This is such a little thing, but I love that they included this. It shows that even on the supposed "good side", there are people who don't necessarily want peace, because they can benefit from war. This makes them not so different from the people they're fighting. It helps set things up for the sequel, wherein the conflicts at play are no longer so black and white.

Nealuchi, you brilliant scheming schemer, you. I completely forgot about this, and I couldn't stop grinning. I genuinely love Nealuchi. I know he's mainly there just to make Naesala more endearing (like with Rolf and Shinnon), but he's such a fun character in his own right.

Aaaaand, that's the Twisted Tower chapter!

Next time, I take on Ashnard. However, before I end this post, I did want to take a look at my main units, to see how they are doing. I would like to get as many characters to lv 20 with capped stats as possible, so let's see how close I am to accomplishing that...

Ike is already at lv 20, with 5 capped stats! Since he's already OP in Radiant Dawn, I'm excited to see how broken he'll be with all those transfer bonuses.

I don't really intend on getting Mist to lv 20, but she's already capped magic and speed, and not too far off from capping resistance. So maybe I'll give it a shot, once I've gotten Jill and Ilyana to lv 20.

Like Mist, I don't intend on getting Mia to lv 20, though she's capped both skill and speed, and close to capping strength. We'll see.

Ilyana! She has two levels to go, and she's only 1 point away from capping her speed. That's one of my top priorities, so if somehow she doesn't cap her speed on her own, I have a speedwing ready for her. She's also close to capping magic, which would also be useful for Radiant Dawn.

Jill has 5 more levels to go, and she's close to capping skill, speed, and defense. I could potentially also cap her strength, if I get lucky enough and use an energy drop, but if not, it won't be the end of the world. For Jill, I'm mainly focusing on her survivability, since I know her debut in Radiant Dawn happens in a super difficult chapter.

Nephenee, my girl! Like Mist and Mia, I'm not prioritizing getting Neph to lv 20, but she is pretty close to capping strength and speed, plus an already capped skill. So if I can get her to lv 20, that would be really nice, especially for her starting chapter in Radiant Dawn. Gotta impress Heather, y'know?

Soren is only 3 levels away from lv 20, with three stats already capped. I anticipate that he will also be able to cap magic, but if not, I have a spirit dust ready for him. I was very determined to get him to cap his speed, not only because they nerf the speed of mages in Radiant Dawn, but because his skill Adept triggers based off of speed. So I'm glad that I was able to accomplish that goal.

Kieran has not capped anything yet, but he's fairly close to capping strength, skill, and speed. It would be nice to get him to lv 20, but we'll see.

Oscar! He's already capped his speed, and he has 8 more levels to go. He's also fairly close to capping his skill. Idk if I'll get him to level 20, but it would be nice.

Man, Boyd was doing so well in the beginning of my playthru, but he fell off hard. He did manage to cap strength, and he could potentially cap HP and defense, but probably not without the help of some stat boosting items. But it's okay if I don't get Boyd any transfer bonuses. I'm mainly just going to use him as a walking support bonus for Mist.

Last on my list is Rolf! At level 12, he's quite close to capping strength, skill, and defense. He could potentially also cap his speed if I'm lucky. I initially didn't have any intentions of getting Rolf to lv 20, but honestly, I think it would be hilarious to go into Radiant Dawn with a buffed out Rolf.

And that's my team going into endgame! I'm so excited to see what will happen.