#but he doesn't argue with shauna when she says no

[riccissance]

Been thinking a lot about the brunch scene with Shauna, Jeff, and Jackie’s parents and what it can tell us about the characters. I may be misremembering, but I’m pretty sure Jackie’s dad stays pretty much silent the whole time. Jackie’s mom is clearly the decision-maker in the couple and it seems like he’s along for the ride. He grabs her hand to show solidarity in the offer to pay Callie’s tuition but is pretty irrelevant on his own.

I think that knowing this is Jackie’s main example of love growing up can contextualize a lot of her and Shauna’s dynamic. Jackie’s parents have shown her that love is one person submitting to another. It’s her dad going along with her mom’s decisions and blindly supporting everything she does. It’s her mom taking charge for both of them and not asking for his input. Jackie seems to act like her mom with Shauna and expect Shauna to act like her dad. Their relationship doesn’t even necessarily need to be interpreted as romantic, though I think it can be. Shauna is Jackie’s main person. She seems like the only person that Jackie has any real intimacy with throughout the show. So it makes sense that she’d try to mirror her parents’ relationship with her.

So when Shauna wants to make her own decisions or just disagrees with Jackie, Jackie interprets that as Shauna not loving her. If Shauna loved her, then she would agree no matter what. Of course, that’s not healthy and it makes Shauna feel stifled, but it’s all Jackie knows. And Jackie feels like any indication of Shauna’s independence means she loses her. So Jackie tries to cling harder to her, to control more, which only serves to push Shauna further away. 

And Shauna, the nonconfrontational child of divorce, can’t talk to Jackie about how she feels. Jackie has demonstrated that if Shauna is her own person, Jackie will leave. Shauna disagreed with Jackie’s idea to stay by the plane, and Jackie’s immediate response was to ignore her all day. She even pretended to buddy up to Mari to make Shauna jealous. So Shauna feels like Jackie sees her as replaceable. If she tries to be independent at all, she loses Jackie. And as much as Shauna is resentful of the position Jackie has put her in, she still loves Jackie and doesn’t want to lose her. 

I feel like the show does a good job of giving us enough context on each character to understand why they act the way they do. They make dumb decisions because they’re teenagers and can’t fully understand their own baggage. But at their heart, they’re both desperately trying to maintain their friendship. They lash out when they feel rejected. Jackie’s problem is with the interpretation of Shauna’s actions. She views any disagreement or deviation as rejection. Shauna’s issue is with communication. She thinks that openly admitting her frustrations would make Jackie leave her. 

Plus, the Taylors have made it clear that Jackie can’t just be good. She has to be the best, which means better than Shauna. So Shauna has to be the passive, lesser side kick while Jackie has to remain in control at all times and keep being the best. The funny thing is, they tell Shauna and Jeff how much better than them Jackie would be doing if she was alive, but if Jackie was there, they would probably be telling her she should be doing better. There is no ceiling to being the best so Jackie could never be enough while she was alive. 

I just think it’s very interesting that a pretty short scene with the Taylors can give us so much insight into Jackie as a character. We don’t see Shauna’s parents but their divorce is mentioned which makes it feel relevant. It makes sense that her parents splitting up would contribute to Shauna’s passivity and inability to communicate. Her parents admitted they were unhappy and her family was broken up. If Shauna just never admits she’s unhappy, nothing has to change. 

I really love how layered and morally grey all these characters are. And it’s just so devastating because these were manageable issues that got mixed up with teen angst before being thrown into a life-or-death situation. None of it needed to happen but these girls didn’t know any other way to be. 

[azuremist]

Mainseries Pokemon characters who can be argued to be bisexual-coded (due to their implied crush on the player)

1. Shauna (Pokemon X and Y)

Kalos takes place in France, and Paris is the city of love. So, in the words of Junichi Masuda, "I wanted to implement some elements of romance with Shauna when playing as a boy and express a deep friendship when playing as a girl."

However, due to the VERY few dialogue changes between female vs male protags (as well as actions Shauna takes that are intended to imply romantic interest being the same across all player types, such as her staying behind with the player in the early-game forest), this can be argued to be unintentional bisexual-coding.

2. Lillie (Pokemon Sun and Moon)

Lillie is implied to have a crush on the player. When the player character is female, on Exeggutor Island, she says, "I want to become a Trainer, and learn all the things you know, Selene..." When the player character is male, she says, "I think... I'd like to become a Trainer, too. And travel together with you, Elio..."

Obviously, the difference between these two dialogues makes it pretty clear that they want her dialogue with Elio to be interpreted as more romantically-inclined. However, much like Shauna, Lillie's actions and dialogue varying VERY little otherwise between female vs male protags can be read as unintentional bisexual-coding.

3. Kieran

Kieran is the first character here to receive absolutely zero dialogue changes across player gender. Additionally, I'd say he's the character that we get the strongest hints regarding romantic feelings towards the player with.

Kieran has multiple moments where he's implied to feel romantically towards the player. These include, but are not limited to:

His sister saying that he's "been all googly-eyed over you" since you met, and that he "wouldn't stop talking about you - even at home. I seriously couldn't get him to shut up." Kieran reacts with embarrassment when she says this to the MC.

Him saying, "You're...you're special," before pausing, then getting embarrassed and rushing to change the subject.

When the MC calls him a friend, he responds, "What?! R-really?! We're friends? F-friends... I feel all tingly and funny hearing that... Ehehe..."

After the MC changes into their festival outfit, Kieran says, "Whoa...", when seeing them for the first time.

The player can even seemingly flirt with Kieran; when Kieran describes letting Ogerpon move into his home, the player can teasingly ask when they, themself, can move in with Kieran.

These are all very common romantic tropes. I think Kieran is the closest thing that we have to a canonically bisexual mainline character at this moment.

4. Carmine

Carmine has a fewer number of specific moments compared to her brother, but she can still be easily read as having feelings for the player.

Her extreme reaction to Drayton asking the player on a date is the best example, with her bringing her hands up to her face, and saying, "A wha-?!" Once Drayton leaves, Carmine continues fuming. (This can also be chalked up to her general dislike towards Drayton and how he can be manipulative, but the fact that it's that request that sets her off specifically makes this also easily read as jealousy.)

And speaking of...

5. Drayton

While, like Kieran and Carmine, Drayton doesn't have any dialogue changes between if the player is male and female, it's not really clear how he actually feels about them.

He tells the player, male or female, that they can go on a cafeteria date to talk, which the game fully acknowledges as a romantic phrase via Carmine's extreme reaction. He also tells the player, "From one charming catch to another..."

This is very obviously him flirting with the player, but, due to his laid-back and just-a-liiittle-bit-sleazy nature, this more so comes across as him trying to tease the player character, rather than anything earnest.

If nothing else, he's at least confirmed to be comfortable with romantically teasing male classmates, which I would consider a win.

[danisbrainrot]

jackie taylor x reader

how have I not written about her yet??? anyways, doing the lord's work (aka what shauna should have done).

everyone stood in shock, watching as jackie stormed out of the room after her explosive argument with shauna. you glanced at the door and back at shauna, unsure whether or not to chase after her or stay and comfort your friend.

tai was by shauna's side immediately, comforting her as the girl sobbed into her chest. still, none of the girls made a move to follow jackie outside.

you weren't stupid. it was hard not to notice how it was getting colder recently, or how all the animals were stocking up and going into hibernation. you knew winter was just around the corner, and feared that jackie could fall prey to it.

you didn't want to be that girl who followed after her, since shauna was a good friend to you and you didn't want to show her you were picking sides. however, you knew that if you didn't do something, no one else would; jackie was one of the most stubborn people you'd ever met, she wasn't going to come inside on her own volition. no, she'd have to be convinced.

at first, you found yourself standing above coach ben, who was still shocked from watching the argument unfold. "coach, you need to do something about that. jackie can't sleep outside," you whisper, glancing back to see if anyone was watching you.

he shook his head, "sorry, but I don't want to get involved in you girls' arguments," he replies, groaning softly as he moves to readjust himself into a better position.

"you're an adult. jackie will listen to you," you beg, but to no avail. ben shakes his head and refuses again, forcing you to look elsewhere. your eyes land on nat, who—granted held a bit of disdain for your captain—would surely see the consequences of leaving jackie outside to freeze.

however, you were no longer sure when travis pulls her in and whispers something in her ear; they both glance towards the door and you knew they'd be no help.

you stared out the window, watching jackie's pathetic attempt at starting a fire with pity. she really wasn't made for the wilderness, that was obvious. it was clear from day one she wouldn't contribute much, since all she'd done was complain, whinge and refuse to help with the chores. but you still remember the sweet and inspiring team captain on your soccer team; you can't help wonder what went wrong.

finally having enough, you quickly slipped outside, going unnoticed by no one. you'd take the dirty glares and rude comments if it meant coercing jackie back inside. you always listened to your gut rather than what people had to say, and right now, your gut was yelling at you to go talk to her.

jackie's gaze lingers on you as you sit beside her. after a beat of silence, she crosses her arms over her and chest and says, "if shauna sent you out here—"

"no one sent me out here," you reply, watching the flickering flames about to go out. it's silent again as you work up the nerve to beg her to come inside and she tried to work out why you were talking to her.

jackie sniffles, trying to hide the fact she'd been crying; it doesn't matter, since you can tell from her red eyes. "she's my best friend and she hates me," jackie mumbles, resting her arms against her legs and her chin on her lap. you're silent, happy to listen to jackie vent—it was for the best, because you weren't going to pretend to know anything about her relationship with shauna. "and you know what's the stupidest part? I don't even love jeff. . . I don't know if I even like him. she broke my heart and I don't know why."

"talk to her about it—and I mean talk, not argue," you reply earnestly, not sure how else someone was supposed to react to this situation. "you feel betrayed, and she feels overshadowed. you still have time to sort this out. fuck! we're in the woods and no one's coming to find us. you have plenty of time to tell her how you feel," jackie looks up at you with tears in her eyes. she's lost for words, and you smile at her gently, assuring yourself that she'd listen.

she shakes her head and sits up, however, making your smile fade. "no, she doesn't want to talk to me right now," jackie mumbles, kicking at one of the stones and accidentally sending it flying into the fire. "and I don't want to talk to her," she adds hastily, making you raise your eyebrow questioningly, "she's in the wrong, I shouldn't have to apologise to her," you roll you eyes at her stubbornness.

"fine, but I'm not leaving until you're inside with me," you snap. you watch her rub her arms up and down, and notice how chill the weather had gotten. was it always like this at night? how did jackie expect to survive through the night. "come on, jackie. I don't want to wake up in the morning to you looking like a smurf."

jackie burst into laughter, making you join too. "god, I'll be fine. don't worry. no frosty the snowman here," she promises. but you're no stranger to the cold. to snow. "I'll be alright, I just can't stand to look at her right now."

it falls quiet again, as you both mull over what she said. you can't help yourself, fearing the worst, you blurt out, "dying isn't worth it, y'know," she raises her eyebrows, "jackie taylor, you're the pettiest person I know. . . but to freeze out here because you're mad at shauna? that's a lot, even for you," you softly explain.

jackie scoffs, rolling her eyes before shivering again, "oh my god, I'm not going to die out here. I have a blanket, I'm wearing a jacket and a roaring. . . well, not roaring, but I have a fire," she points out. "it's not just gonna randomly snow in the middle of the night," you sigh, realising that she was convinced. there was no bringing her inside—and it was getting cold, even for you.

you bite your bottom lip, getting up to kiss her on the forehead. "I love you, okay? I don't want anything bad to happen to you," she looks up at you in shock, "come inside when you're ready, but please, don't stay out here all night. if not because of the weather, then because the wolves that attacked van are close by," she nods, and turns to face the weak fire again as you walk off.

"wait!" she calls out, standing up and chasing after you. your body fills with warmth as you silently rejoice at convincing her to come inside. "what do you mean you love me?"

you froze in your spot, feeling your heart race and your cheeks fill with heat. "I think you know," you reply, hoping that if she didn't feel the same way, she'd assume you were talking platonically.

jackie stares at you, breathing heavily, before she pulls you into a hug. "thank you, for caring enough to come out here," she whispers. you smile softly in return; she leans into you, kissing you gently on the lips. you were in shock for a moment, in complete disbelief that jackie liked you that way—that she liked girls that way. soon, you realised that the kiss was real, and that she wanted you; savouring the sweet moment, you mourned the loss of her lips on your own. "wow, your lips are so warm," you laugh at her, glancing back at the cabin ready to grab her hand when she flinched out of your grasp. "I'm not ready yet. . . stay out here with me?"

you nod, joining her to sit on the log again. you added some kindling to the fire as she snuggled up close to you. it was nice to feel her this close, and know she liked you back—even if it seemed like it was because she was lonely. it didn't matter to you, however, as you focused instead on the way she relied on you for warmth, and the way the flames danced.

after what felt like half an hour (but was closer to two hours) you notice the lights turning off, "it's cold, I'm going back inside," you announce.

jackie nods, "okay. I'll just be a little longer," she replies, shooting you a reassuring smile. you kiss her forehead again, and take sullen steps towards the cabin.

you glance at her once again, tempted to drag her inside, kicking and screaming, but you decide to leave her be. you receive dirty glares when you come back inside. you feel even smaller knowing you'd failed to bring her back in, so it was for nothing.

you accidentally lock eyes with mari, before glancing back at the ground. once you reached the fireplace to warm up, that's when the comments began. "of course you'd chase after jackie," mari snipes, shaking her head.

"it's so cold outside! I was worried she'd actually sleep out there and freeze," you reply, defending yourself.

you heard tai scoff, and looked for shauna, only to find her missing. "she chose to go outside," van mumbles, staring at the floor to avoid your gaze. you stare at her in disbelief.

you glance around the room, seeing no one agree with you—not even misty. nat and travis stared at the ground, also avoiding your eyes. "guys, now is not the time to be petty, she could've been in serious danger," you cry. no one responds, and you can't help but groan and roll your eyes.

"we saw you kiss her," misty announces. you look taken aback, but don't say anything. "three times," she adds, and you bite back the retort you were ready to sling at her.

instead you walk towards your bed, slipping under the sheets and pretending like you didn't notice everyone's gaze on you. eventually, tai heads upstairs and you hear everyone shuffle into their beds—but still no jackie.

your eyelids grow heavy, and as they do, you could swear you hear a door creak open. you smile in your dreamy state, knowing that jackie had finally come back inside. . .

"no, no, no, no, no!" shauna screams, jumping over you and racing outside. you jolt awake, your heart racing as you look around at all the confused faces of the girls. suddenly, it occurs to you, jackie's not one of them.

scrambling to your feet, you and tai are the first ones out the door after shauna. you have no idea why she's carrying on when you finally realise the ground had changed from green to white overnight. shauna was hunched over something in the snow, which at first glance, looked like a log.

it takes you a minute to process the scene in front of you; when it does, it feels like you've been hit by a train. your stomach drops and you feel your heart shatter into a million pieces.

shauna was on her hands and knees, screaming and crying while shaking her best friend. "jackie, wake up!" she wails. tai is by her side immediately, holding onto her and trying to comfort her.

your hand flies to your mouth as you begin to sob as well. no, no! this isn't right! jackie came inside last night! I heard her! you can't help but think. you could've sworn the door was opened. . . but here jackie was, covered in a blanket of snow, as you fell to your knees and mourned the girl you'd had a crush on since middle school.

you feel a pair of arms on your shoulders, as you lean into them for comfort, letting your tears run freely. you couldn't stand to look at the sight anymore without feeling guilty. you'd done everything you could, but was that truly enough? you should've done more! you should've dragged her inside! slapped some sense into shauna or the coach! you should have stayed by her side! tried harder to convince her! or at least kept her warm all night!

but you didn't, and you knew that would haunt you til your dying breath.

[antlerqueer]

i'm tired of the "jackie taylor couldn't be mean" concept because people can be mean even with the best intentions, and while i don't think she would purposely hurt anyone without reason, she's not immune from being an ignorant teenager.

(long post, if you wanna argue i'll be annoyed bc this is just what i think and i GET why ppl are saying what they're saying.)

she was a privileged, selfish teenager. those aren't negative things, but they do mean she's got blindspots.

there are so many explicit times she isn't kind to shauna and thinks she's being helpful in the pilot alone; she shuts off shauna's music the moment she gets into her car and insults it, she offers randy (who is clearly disgusting) to shauna as though he's on her radar, she insults shauna 3x before telling her "you're the best friend I've ever had, you know that, right?". sure, part of this is shauna's fault for not calling her out when she hurts her, but that doesn't change that it happened. are these all heinous, terrible things? no. but they grow on someone.

she's learned love from an abusive mother. she doesn't know how to express it in a healthy way. she is a teenager, teenagers rarely have that emotional intelligence.

the reason jackie's ghost is kinda mean is because it's exaggerating what shauna's memory of jackie is. we have to believe what shauna says about jackie pre-crash because the evidence supports it.

when jackie does absolutely nothing to help the girls in the wilderness? no one is surprised, they don't bother her about it because there's no use - she only listens to shauna.

when the girls figure out she's gone off with travis? van says "that is so jackie".

when she insults nat and slut shames her? no one looks surprised.

taissa, actually, looks surprised when jackie says something nice and true about her in the pilot.

we also see her purposely be mean to shauna (which shauna deserved don't get me wrong) when she says "I'm just trying to get you help for your baby" and "I wouldn't want us to fight over some guy" and when she forces shauna to tell everyone she's pregnant.

jackie may not INTEND to be cruel, but she is capable of it. to say she couldn't say something mean is to ignore reality - people can be hurtful even if they don't mean to be. and she did hurt shauna, even if shauna waited until the last possible minute to tell her, even if she didn't mean to.

like i've been the jackie in this scenario before. she doesn't know she's hurting anyone! that's not her fault! she's just selfish! she can be well-intentioned and bitchy sometimes, it's the duality of fucking existence. let your faves have flaws.

[lottieurl]

YES TO ALL OF THAT. honestly every character paired up with nat is so good for exactly the reasons you've said like i don't think there is a single character who's interacted with nat who doesn't behave in like. a revealing way if that makes sense? like Nat Genuineness kind of strips the other characters bare a little bit and it is soooo good. like you said nat is really perceptive and i think she's a character who like... Sees people and they notice and they feel seen and that is, again, another part of what i think made jackie soo reactive to nat in particular. and then with mari like... we've seen her lash out at misty and crystal, and we've seen her snap at jackie and lottie and shauna, but never has it been as drawn out as when she was arguing with nat like?? there's something about the way nat sees someone and looks at them, even when they're fighting, that sort of pulls people in as much as it unnerves them. something about her that says that she could see past the bullshit and really See a person. and YESSS the lottie dynamic like. in a world where lottie is absolutely surrounded, in the past and in the present timelines, by people who don't see Lottie Matthews as she is it is SOOO good to have her paired with nat who sees everyone as they are. or as close to that as is possible. and ESPECIALLY because a lot of the audience wasn't even able to see Lottie Matthews as she was last season!!! like so many people thought lottie was going to be like. way different than she ended up being this season and i think pairing her up with nat is such a key part of why more people are joining lottie matthews nation this season LMAO. okay like halfway through this ask i got hit with a wave of exhaustion so my bad if this is incomprehensible but. nat is such a good character like both from a "i love her" standpoint and also from a "she is so interesting to pair literally any character with and see what she exposes" standpoint you get it -cannibal laura lee anon

i need to stop replying to your asks with YES YES YES at the beginning but you make it so hard cause like. YES YES YES EXACTLY. i don't talk about travis a lot cause well i just focus on female characters in everything and yellowjackets makes it incredibly easy to ignore the dudes so i.. do. but there's something to be said about travis' progression as a character being linked to nat in that like. again. he starts out as this very hmm repressed character with a lot of self consciousness that he hides behind snarky kind of shitty comments etc but for the most part nat either sees through it and calls him out or just through their dynamic we see The Layers of travis. that's also why i'm lately rotating in my head nat and taissa like. we don't get a lot of tainat interactions but considering the sheer weight of walls taissa builds around herself even when she's yknow herself and conscious and awake is overwhelming to think of and i NEED to see her interact with nat more in both timelines. there's also that curious parallel of them both being skeptics who are being forced in some way to acknowledge the unexplained. also! teen nat agreeing to go along with lottie's rituals and teen tai agreeing to participate in lottie's rituals because of van. thinking!

[mothknight42]

goatman anon again - my only other theory is that Crystal didnt exist and was Misty’s imaginary friend or the like and thats why the other girls shout for Shauna in the snowstorm rather than Crystal. But tbf up until Natalie acknowledged Walter (at the gate) I also thought he was going to be an imaginary friend lol. Wouldve been an interesting comment about Misty if she made her own friends up and then ended up harming them :(

welcome back goatman anon, happy to hear more theories. >:)

going to put my response below the cut, since it includes spoilers from s2ep5

OKAY SO. I kind of love the idea of Misty having imaginary friends, and how fucked it could be when it is revealed that they didn't exist at all.....the tragedy of Misty fucking Quigley everyone!!! Would be interesting to see something like this, especially because Tai has hallucinated Sammy, so people not actually being there is not out of the question.

However, skeptic me is still in full swing (my apologies) so I don't think Crystal is fake. We see the other girls get pissy about her singing in s2ep1, no one seems shocked when Misty gets back to the cabin yelling about her, and Misty is clearly devastated to have killed her.....I don't think even she is so unstable to create an imaginary friend just to kill them off? Like, she doesn't want to actively HURT any of her friends I would argue. She just wants them to stay and will do what it takes to make that happen.

I am assuming that only Misty calls out for Crystal during the storm because quite frankly the other girls do not care about her. She is associated with Misty, and thus an outsider to them. Which makes her "betrayal" more painful for Misty. Crystal throws that outsider status back in her face by reminding her of her failures: "you aren't a very good actress/what are you going to do, poison me?" Crystal and her, despite how badly they both wanted to be, are NOT cut from the same cloth. Crystal could never be a true outsider!!!!!!! Misty is in a class of her own!!!!!!

Misty is my favorite character tbh, and I wish we got to see more of her home life pre-crash. What made her into this kind of person? How she justifies her own actions, how she twists other people's words to suit the narrative she needs to believe in.....brilliant. I think Ricci especially does an excellent job with her. Sorry, I could ramble about my Misty thoughts forever so I will cut myself off.

The tldr is I think Misty having imaginary friends (and how she would treat them.....) is such a cool concept, and if it get incorporated into the show I would be delighted. BUT I do think Crystal is real. May she rest in peace. Someone say a prayer before they roast her for dinner 🙏😋

[manslaught]

“ that's what she made you do? say nice things about each other? ” again— thank god she wasn't there, because mikayla doesn't think she could have handled thinking of a single nice thing to say about most of the girls on that team. but more importantly, it leaves her to wonder— “ what would you have said about me? ” she asks with an overly confident smile, like she's expecting a long list in response. she's not, because she doesn't expect tai to make it that easy for her, especially when they're still in public. she narrows her eyes, scoffing, “ i'm not lame. ” she's tempted to actually explain herself, admit that she was afraid to be around her, because she didn't trust herself, but it just feelings stupid now, realizing that maybe she should have, because it could have worked.

she squints slightly in disbelief, because it's difficult to imagine shauna agreeing with anything that jackie would disagree with, but maybe that's only because mikayla's only ever viewed her as jackie's sidekick without any real personality of her own. “ and she... didn't tell jackie? ” that's the most unbelievable part of it all for her, assuming that they told each other everything, especially something like that.

it feels instinctual for her to want to brush the comment off, act like she hasn't been dying to see her again all night, like she just didn't have anything better to do. the latter's not technically a lie, because she honestly can't think of a single thing better than spending time with her, especially if it's not going to spent arguing over nothing for once— but mikayla's done with trying to dismiss her own feelings, at least around her. “ yeah. i did, ” she admits, trying to prove that she's not ashamed of it. and she's not, even if some part of her still feels terrified about being honest at all.

mikayla's too nervous to really look at her when they're in the car together, busying herself with starting it and beginning to drive off, despite having no real destination in mind, other than anywhere but here. she glances toward the clock on the dash, relieved to see that they still have a few hours; it's not long enough, not after she's wasted years away from her, but it's something, so she's grateful for it anyway. she looks down at tai's hand, desperate to reach for it, but she's still too nervous to be that direct, so she just places her own hand in the center of the car, close enough for their fingers to brush, hoping that taissa will just take the opportunity herself.

“ as long as you want me, ” she answers, her face warm. mikayla considers leaving it just at that, but she wants tai to know that there's no real curfew for her to abide by, so she goes on, “ my dad doesn't really give a shit if i come home at all. ” it's not necessarily true. some days, he pretends he cares, waiting drunk for her on the couch so he could interrogate her about where she's been, but most days, he's already passed out, sleeping peacefully because he couldn't care less if she was safe or not. “ so— i'm all yours until you need to go back. ”

she’s amused by the way mikayla reacts to just hearing about it,   because it’s enough to keep calming her down from all that just transpired,  and she finds it endearing,   in a way she used to have to pretend was obnoxious—  but now,  she’s just reminded that they’re more alike than they thought.    ❝  yeah.  you would’ve hated it,  ❞   she teased,  her nose scrunching as she starts to laugh just barely.   ❝  actually,  i would’ve loved to hear the nice thing she would have had to say about you,  ❞   she says, giving mikayla a teasing grin.  she’s joking,  and she means it —  but she doesn’t let herself give away just how much jackie taylor’s words meant to her,  even if what she said about taissa could be both a good and a bad thing.  she rolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders.   ❝  i don’t know.  because you’re lame?  ❞   she counters,  but she gives her a teasing grin to show she’s only joking.   ❝  — always disappointed me,  ❞   she adds,  in a more serious,  yet still flirty tone.

she shrugs her shoulders,  slightly uncomfortable when hearing shauna’s name,  because her words did stick with her—  but so did what she said after taissa genuinely did try to defend herself,  so maybe it’s not all bad.   ❝  she actually agreed with me.   earlier today,  ❞   she admits,  speaking quieter now despite shauna not being near them.  ❝  so i think  .  .  .  maybe she was just taking her own guilt out on me,  ❞    she assumes,   because that’s exactly what she did to nat,  attacked her instead of coping with actually looking at herself.  

she’s heard those words from mikayla before—  mostly in a mocking tone,  making her or whoever else they’re directed at feel smaller,   but the way she says it,  and the tone of her voice,  it makes taissa feel warm,  her grin instantly growing.  still,  she rolls her eyes to deflect,  trying to hide her own bashfulness.  ❝  shut up,  ❞   she mumbles;  if she were brave enough, she’d lightly nudge her,  but she’s afraid to touch her again,  as if she needs some kind of signal once they’re alone to truly give in again,  despite all that unfolded between them earlier.  ❝  you clearly wanted to see me too,  ❞   she points out,  but her voice is more shy than it is her usual confidence,  her grin still shining back at mikayla as she sways her body just slightly.

she nearly gasps when mikayla actually does take the bait,  even if it only lasts a second.  it’s still enough to set her entire body on fire,  making her even eager to be alone with her,  even if it’s just to talk to her.   she doesn’t look back at the party,  only focused ahead,  allowing herself to keep relaxing and shaking off the nerves from today.  but they’re replaced with a different kind of nerves—  the nerves that come with being alone with mikayla,  despite everything that happened in the locker room.   this still feels new,  different,  and while she knows they both enjoyed themselves earlier,  she still doesn’t know where that leaves them now.  all she knows is that she wants to be with her,  and after years of telling herself that she won’t let girls distract her,  it feels like time to finally give her heart a break and go after what she really wants.  

she gives her a shy, almost awkward smile as she settles in the passenger seat,  bringing her hand up to look at her watch.  they’ve still got hours,  thankfully,  because once they say goodbye,  she has to be all in on soccer for the next week,  and then she can allow herself total focus on her—  if that’s what mikayla wants.   but for now,  she’s desperate for a preview of what’s to come after nationals,  despite how nervous she is suddenly.  ❝  midnight.  my parents— ❞  she starts to roll her eyes,  but then she feels ridiculous at the thought of going on,  realizing how dumb it feels to admit that her parents actually want her to stay out late,   because it might mean she’s actually enjoying herself.  ❝  —it’s not a big deal, ❞  she says instead,  looking her over.   she takes a deep breath,  placing her hand between them,  still desperate for a sign that she can grab hers now,  yet still hesitant,  too.  ❝  how long do i have you?  ❞   she asks in a whisper.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Thinking about Shauna and Trevor and mega evolution. I think it's only fair for Shauna to get a Venusaurite from professor sycamore since she gets a Bulbasaur from him too. However, she never got the mega bracelet. I want to note how Shauna never outwardly stated that she didn't want the mega bracelet. She did find it interesting. I would argue of the group she was the most invested about learning about mega evolution. Maybe the reason she didn't go for it was due to her not being that much of a battler? Or her thinking she wouldn't be able to utilize it to it's full potential like Jude and Dante could. Anyway, all of this is to say that Shauna does jud have a mega bracelet but does have a mega stone. This is important because she still manages to mega evolve her Venusaur at some point during the story. I don't exactly know when,though, but I do know that without the mega bracelet, it might be painful. I personally see mega bracelets, rings or any other holder of a mega stone as a way to effectively synergize the energy between trainer and pokemon. Mega evolution is still possible without it, but the energy that comes from it isn't as straightforward, and could cause some pain for the user. Though that's just my thought process of it right now, it could change in the future.

Trevor also has this experience with the Abomasnow in Frost Cavern. Though, if Shauna's mega evolving her Venusaur isn't painful due to the bonds that they share, then Trevor's definitely is. Not only is he exposed to the raw energy of mega evolution, but it's with a pokemon that he doesn't have the strongest bond with. Tbf, the reason he was able to use mega evolution in the first place was because of his empathy, and him sharing and understanding the feelings of Abomasnow, but still, the bonds weren't as strong. It's why Abomasnow kinda went berserk in the cavern- there wasn't a deep bond that kept it steady and grounded. I can see the experience in Frost Cavern kinda making Trevor a bit averse to mega evolution though. And it could add to the lore of SM where mega evolution is said to have negative effects on the pokemon.

Adding Tierno right now: he's the only one that doesn't have full access to mega evolution. None of his pokemon have it, he never got a mega stone or a bracelet. And that's fine! He literally stated how battling was for him and he'd rather pass on it. You don't need to mega evolve your pokemon to prove that your bonds are strong. Especially with the side effects of meg evolution- probably something he'd rather not deal with.

Going back to Trevor and Shauna I don't think they get mega stones immediately after the game like Dante did. They have their own things they want to focus on, for one. Shauna especially, now that she has a whole Zygarde to her name. And being said Zygarde's Chosen. Trevor is more focused on the Pokedex and becoming professor sycamore's assistant than anything too.

But yeah I just wanted to talk about their relationship to mega evolution. I think it's interesting to think about how they view it.

[manslaught]

mikayla shoots an irritated glance in her direction, because she wouldn't be here at all if mikayla was good enough support on her own. sometimes, she wonders if her presence makes it even worse for nat and travis, because she draws more attention from people, gets asked more questions, forcing them all to think back to the worst experience of their lives, even if most of it's directed at mikayla. not that tai would be aware of that, since she's not part of mikayla's life, doesn't have to deal with going out in public with her. “ yeah. maybe. ” she says instead of arguing the way she's tempted to, feeling too defeated to even try.

why would i? the question almost makes mikayla burst out laughing, though without humor, but she manages to control herself, just letting out a huff instead, because it should be obvious. because she killed again, because she didn't leave all of that behind her, because she forced them apart, because she ruined her life, making it impossible for tai to have a semi-normal life with her as a result. “ because i hurt people. ” she always has— it's not anything new, even if the media wants to pretend that it's a result of what happened out there, all because it sounds more interesting that way. “ that's all i'm good at. that's all i'm ever going to be good at. ” and maybe that was useful for tai when they were out there, because it meant mikayla would protect her, no hesitation, but back in civilization, all it does is draw negative attention, clearly. the offer to help clean her door causes her to roll her eyes, not at tai, but at the entire thing, because she's exhausted of it. “ there's no point. every time travis cleans it, someone writes something else within a fucking week. ” the handwriting seems to vary, too, which suggests it's different people doing it, though that's no surprise.

“ maybe i do deserve it. it's my fault it happened. ” mikayla knows tai's going to argue, the way any of her friends do when she even vaguely suggests that what happened with her father was her fault, but after years of thinking about it, that's the conclusion she's come up with: if she wasn't stupid enough to go home, if she wasn't dumb enough to believe she could chance another few weeks with him while she tried to get enough money to leave, she wouldn't have had to kill him. he wouldn't have exploded on her, wouldn't have forced her to defend herself, to keep hitting him until he stopped. being on the streets would have been the better option, the smarter option, but she wanted to have actual shelter again so badly that she risked it. that's her fault, not his.

she scowls, feeling like tai's lying, because she knows she went to shauna's wedding— which means mikayla's the only person she cut out entirely, but she doesn't even want to get into that, so she holds back, just rolling her eyes. “ then why are you still here? if you wanted to let me go, you should just leave. this isn't helping either of us. ” she lets out a shaky sigh, turning further away. “ you were right. you're better off without me. ” that doesn't mean she wants her to leave, even if she does actually believe tai's better without her; that's why she never sought her out, not selfish enough to ruin everything for her if she did.

“ so you just wanted to be nothing instead, ” she says dryly, unable to believe that tai still wanted to be with her, so that's the only conclusion she has left to make. “ after everything, you were just— done with me that quickly. ” she clenches her jaw tight, to the point where it almost hurts, tempted to just get up and leave, make some excuse about wanting to check on nat, so she could break down away from her. but she's had enough practice holding herself together, because she couldn't let herself break down in front of everyone in prison, so she just takes a deep breath, hand moving to rub at her eyebrow, frustrated. “ i'm just that fucking easy to leave. ” to forget about. her mom did it, then her dad while she was missing, and then tai immediately after.

a part of mikayla does understand what tai's saying, but she's just not sure how it was even possible for her, because while she gets wanting to go back to her plans, she doesn't understand why she couldn't be a part of that— especially when she couldn't even physically be in the way, stuck behind bars instead. “ okay, so— what now? what the fuck do you want from me? ” she said she doesn't think it's possible for them to be just friends, so mikayla's not sure what that leaves for them— too convinced tai's already moved on, that she might have even found someone, to consider that she might want to try again. “ you say you don't want this to be the last time you see me, but you had to just drop me to move on, so— what? ”

 ❝  you’re not,  ❞    she says instantly,   shaking her head.   she could always tell—   even when nat wasn’t saying mikayla’s name,   tai knew she was there.   she knew she was helping her.   tai doesn’t think she could trust it if nat was only relying on travis,  because she doesn't trust him,   but she trusts mikayla.   she trusts her with nat,  with her—  even if it’s been years since she’s been able to rely on her support.   ❝  i can tell she’s glad to have you as a friend.   i always could,  ❞   she says,  remembering how she paid attention to them before the crash,  how their friendship always seemed out of place,   but she came to understand it in the wilderness,  and she was glad they both had that.   she still is,  even if it felt so dangerously close to something tai was afraid of breaching. 

she lets out a breath of relief to hear that mikayla missed her,  too—  because if this had been one sided,  it would have killed her,  even if she deserves that hurt.  she doesn’t even realize it’s happening,   but a small smile just barely tugs at the corner of her lips,   because they’re on the same page about something.   they missed each other,  and that only leaves room for more hurt,  really,   but at least they’re getting somewhere.   

her eyes remain on hers even as mikayla looks away,   her own brows furrowing in confusion as she starts to explain.   she knows not everyone hates her—  clearly,  nat and travis still trust her.   and tai has had conversations with other survivors,  too—  she knows that no one blames mikayla for what she did,   they don’t even seem to resent her for how it’s dragged them all through the media even harder than they already were.   tai never resented her for it,  because she knew enough to understand why it happened,  even though she doesn’t have all the details   (  details she should have gotten from mikayla long ago,  because she should have been her person to confide in.   )   

❝  i never hated you,   ❞    she says again,   taking a deep breath and shaking her head.   ❝  no.  i would never.  i—  why would i?   because of what you did?   what you had to do?   mikayla,  i was terrified,  but not of you.   for you,  ❞    she says,   but she hears it,  too—  how ridiculous it sounds,  how ironic it is for tai to declare something like that when she didn’t dare be there for her.   ❝  i’m  .  .  .    sorry i made you feel that way.   i’m sorry about everyone else,  too.   i—   i can help you clean those words on your door,  if you want,  ❞    she says,  her words coming out anxiously as she realizes just how heavy this is for mikayla.   ❝  those people are wrong.  all of them—  they’re just so fucking desperate to make what happened to us into some kind of trauma porn to get them off.   you don’t deserve to be treated like that,  ❞    she insists,   hoping she knew that,  anyway—  but it doesn’t sound like she did,  and that’s what’s messing with tai’s head the most.

she frowns as she brings up nat,  because maybe she knew it was always inevitable—  and it’s not like she hasn’t questioned it herself.  she takes a deep breath,  hesitating for a moment as she tries to think  of a way to put it into words,   how to process it both for herself and to help mikayla understand,  too.   ❝  it’s not that i,  you know,  cared about her more,  or something,   it’s nothing like that.   and it’s definitely not because i didn’t care about you.   i did— i do.   it was just different.  i don’t know.  i felt like i had to keep a distance from everyone.   her,  too.  i don’t even think she thinks of me as her friend.   ❞    which is her way of saying she doesn’t think of nat as her friend,  even though she is,  but she’s tried so hard not to get emotionally tied to any of them,  even though she is.  ❝  and there’s no holding back with you,  ❞    she says simply,  closing her eyes because she knows how ridiculous it all sounds,  but she knew there was no way to keep mikayla at a distance yet still be there for her.   and it was selfish,  it wasn’t fair to mikayla,  it wasn’t fair to herself,  either.   ❝  i know none of that makes sense.   i just didn’t know.   i didn’t know how to move on from everything that happened to us if i didn’t let it all go,  ❞   she says,  the stress evident in her tone,  because it didn’t make sense to her then and it still doesn’t.   ❝  i’m not saying i was right for any of it.   i wasn’t,  ❞    she admits,  and that’s probably the first time she’s really admitted that to herself,  too.  sitting in front of mikayla now,  it’s easier to face her mistakes.  

she gulps,  nodding her head slowly when mikayla says she wanted to hate her.   ❝  i wouldn’t have blamed you if you did,  ❞    she says quietly,   and maybe that would have made things easier.   maybe she should have hated her,  maybe that would at least give tai real reason to walk away now,  but she still doesn’t want to— and she doesn’t want mikayla to want her to go,  either.   she wants to stay right here for as long as possible,   because she’s never felt mikayla’s absence in her life more than she does now that she’s seen her again,  and she doesn’t know how to walk away from her.  

she frowns,  because the way she frames the question hurts even harder than tai expected it to,  because she knew it was coming.    ❝  i don’t know,  ❞    she says quietly,  and she does notice the tear that falls from mikayla,  and it brings another from her,  because maybe this is what she was terrified of all along—  to see how bad mikayla was doing,   to have to accept that she could never truly help her the way mikayla always helped her out there.   ❝  i don’t know,  ❞   she repeats again,  shaking her head quickly as she turns her body more towards her again.   ❝  i— never wanted to just be your friend.   i don’t even  .  .  .   i don’t think we could ever do that,  ❞     she admits,  letting out a scoff.  

❝  i was just so fucking lost after we came back home.   and i didn’t think i could be that girl you loved anymore.  ❞    it feels like there’s some kind of accusation in her words,   and she clears her throat,  because that’s not what she means.   ❝  i thought i had to go back.   back to what i was before it all,  back to the life i was trying to make for myself.  it was fucking selfish.  i always knew it was selfish—  and i fucking did it anyway.  ❞    she brings her hand back up to her face,  dragging it down and shaking her head.   ❝  i wanted—  i should have been there for you, ❞   she quickly corrects herself.   she should have told her any of it at all, and it’s a failure she finally has to face.   ❝  i’m sorry.   i’m sorry.   i wish i could explain it to you in a way that makes sense,   but i know nothing does.   i’m sorry if i’m making it worse—  but that’s not how it works thought of you,  kay.  you weren’t dead to me.   you haven’t left my mind.  i was just—  ❞    she pauses,  brows furrowing as she thinks it over for a moment.   ❝  — a fucking coward for not being there. ❞

[scatcrccio]

YEAH, OKAY, THE SLAP WAS WARRANTED AND NAT'S not about to argue that as being fact. It was well deserved. The sting of it though is the only thing that really bothers her. Hand rising to touch upon the side of her face after the initial contact of hand to face and if she was being truly honest with herself, she's surprised that's all she got in the process after what she'd just said. Though in hindsight too, it was nice to see a little fire under the woman's form after all this time.

❝ Don't know what I'm talking about? Alright, why don't you fucking educate me then, Shauna. ❞ It's a dare she almost immediately regrets. But it wasn't like she even really asked for this, it was a simple thing at first when it started out and Nat didn't know the rules, nor did she really care. Shauna and Jeff's business was their own and she was just a catalyst for consumption when the time was right. ❝ Look, I'll admit, I didn't know the specifications of whatever your little arrangement was, or is. All I knew was that you two had an open marriage and he wasn't arguing my advances so, that's it. But, fuck… okay, what do you want from me now, huh? Want me to stop seeing him? I'll stop fucking seeing him. It wasn't supposed to go on for as long as it did anyway. ❞

That part was at least true, it wasn't meant to last this long, and she'd tried multiple times to break it off. Especially when…. well, feelings began to form. She can't admit that to Shauna though, of all people, especially not now. How do you tell a friend that you're in love with their husband? You can't. Not when they're this pissed off about the entire situation as a whole. Doesn't matter, she thinks, Nat wasn't deserving of this type of love and affection anyway; Jeff could do better.

❝ I get it. I was off limits. If I was you I'd be pissed too, honestly. But what the hell do you want me to say about it now? ❞

Jeff wasn't the best of liars. He could keep secrets, yes, but he never could lie. It was like something inside him was incapable of producing a lie, even the smallest of white lies. Part of her was envious of that, wished that she couldn't lie or as easily as she could. But it's because of her husbands incapability of doing as such that Shauna is certain that the other woman knows of their arrangement. The smallest glimpse into their marriage that would leave a vague impression being allowed to her former teammate. So again, why was she here and why was angered by it?

Again, she knows why and again, she will not admit aloud or to herself why. She'll instead focus on the anger ( the simple yea...and asked prickled her skin just like it did whenever her daughter said it ) that is bubbling up inside her chest as she stands her ground staring Natalie down. Another thing she won't ever admit was how much she thrived off of instilling the smallest bit of fear in someone. How it made her feel like she was in control of the situation and would come out on top. That, however, is quickly no longer the case after she's revealed that she was impressed by one of the photos sent to Jeff.

Shauna continues to stand her ground, stance unwavering as the other takes a few steps forward. Chin tilts upwards just slightly as she stares down her nose a bit at her; she shouldn't indulge her but. "I didn't mind it. You must do yoga to be...that flexible," she says with a subtle drop of her gaze before it returns to lock with Nat's eyes once more. Lips come to part for a breath to be released slowly and she can feel the dial being turned up, that anger hot as a fire intensified as she further listened to the woman in front of her. And she wished she would have stopped talking or at the very least remained safely out of her reach.

Hands unclasp before one is raised and palm is connecting with cheek. A sickly thwack sounding in the room as a step of her own is taken, distance no longer a thing. "You really don't know what the hell you're talking about, Natalie so I would advise you to shut up and think for once," Shauna breathed, jaw clenching as she breathed deep. "I expected Jeff to try to go out, yes, to participate in our arrangement...but you?" she feigned a pout, head tilting for good measure before brows pinched just slightly. "Maybe it's my fault for not stating plainly that you or anyone else I know was off limits. But I thought he would have better judgement."