#but have you considered he's a little moo cow boy. maybe even MY little moo cow boy.

[stellerssong]

Number 8 for the fic writer asks?

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

this is a fantastic question that i wish i had a more interesting answer to than "uhhhh i think i already did it actually." (it's the heians. i'm talking about the heians. please for the love of god read the heians.) honestly last year and change were pretty significant for the fic bucket list—i did heians (which is no joke something i've been wanting to do but fearing my lack of specialist knowledge about for over ten years), i did multichap (even if i kinda cheated my way into it with vignette style), i did [REDACTED] (2017 did irreparable damage to my psyche but it can't take MERMAIDS from me, babey!!), i did annoyingly pointed spitefic about people not unpacking their racist priors in fandom (lol)............

this is kind of the answer to a different question on the list, but i think the thing that i would like to do one of these days is finish the minotaurpheus fic the way i think it deserves to end. and i do know how it ends—it's just figuring out the middle, which is somewhat difficult because it does involve both fantasy geopolitics and the two main characters sitting in a cave not knowing anything about the fantasy geopolitics going on about a hundred feet up that are going to start affecting them quite a lot as soon as someone comes down into the cave to tell them what the fuck is happening. so, yeah, maybe this is not going to be the year, but wouldn't it be nice if it were?

[slyvieselkie]

Mother Dearest

Warning: Stepcest, suggestive content, female reader

Check out Part II and the masterlist for more!

"Oh Satoru, your family's having a party today?"

The white haired boy looked up from his phone to Suguru and then to the compound gates a few hundred metres away. His crystal sky eyes stared at the rows of polished black cars parked around. He hummed ignoring the melting ice cream in his hand. No one told him anything about a party, he snorted, maybe that was their plan.

"Dunno, let's go check it out."

When he was close enough, Satoru recognised the guards standing at the door and cringed. Damn, the old cow was visiting today? The white haired boy considered leaving but he looked into the house and saw you standing there. With the cutest and brightest smile ever. His expression softened and Satoru grabbed Suguru's hand. What were you smiling about?

"I'm back~!", he sung unfazed by the disgusted look the Gojo matriarch was giving him.

Crystal eyes watched as you beamed at him and slowly make your way down the stairs, "Satoru, welcome back! Suguru-kun, you're back again!", the two boys grinned cheekily while you ruffled their hair.

"What's the occasion today?", Satoru mooed towards the stunned old woman and you gasp instantly pinching his cheek, "Naughty! You better apologise to your grandmother!"

Huffing, the Gojo matriarch made her way down, "Never mind the bastard boy dear, you just take care of yourself from now on. Why don't I send over a few more servants to help around?"

You smiled softly, "Oh you needn't to worry about me, Mother. We have plenty of hands around and I still have a few months-", "Nonsense! You have be mindful that the Gojo prince and princess is growing inside you right now!", the woman snapped.

The smile on Satoru's face was wiped off and Suguru turned to the boy with concern, "What?"

Glancing over the matriarch sneered, "My my, are you panicking now that the Gojo clan has no use for you? Prepare to pack up your bags, boy", she spat and you frowned trying to diffuse the tension.

Satoru couldn't hear anything, not the old woman blabbering, nor your sweet voice defending him, or Suguru trying to bring him back. All he knew was that everything he was working for was collapsing, disintegrating because you just had to bow down to the cow's pressure.

Finally, the matriarch ended her visit and you let out a sigh of relief. She was a fierce and intense woman, and had been so since her youth. You could only praise the gods that she acknowledged you as her daughter in-law. Many many years ago, your family accepted a marriage proposal from the Gojo clan. You were the fourth option, all of the others had ran away because of this woman. But somehow fate would have her pleased with you, and the marriage proceeded with clans across the jujutsu world attending the ceremony.

Smiling you turned to the frozen boy, "Satoru?", he blinked returning to reality, "Y-Yeah?"

Taking his shock as worry for himself, you approached him and caressed his cheek, "Don't listen to her, Toru. You might not be my biological son, but you'll always be my little boy."

With that, you ushered them inside to try the sweets the matriarch had bought.

....

Inside Satoru's room, the two boys sat there silently. Suguru stared at his gloomy expression knowing that he was doing his best to not obliterate the compound.

"Sato-", "I had a plan", he said with terrifying calmness, "All she had to do was wait a few years for me...and then we'd be together. I even helped, feeding her all of those Gingko Biloba to stop her from getting pregnant."

He turned to her with a blue flame in his eyes, "She just had to wait a little bit more, for me to make her mine."

....

Unaware of the terror brewing in your own home, you sat in the drawing room while your head maid ran around already thinking about labour day. You looked down at your belly and began stroking it, thinking of the tiny tiny babies growing inside. You were truly blessed to have twins, a boy and girl.

However your thoughts kept returning to Satoru. You sighed wondering how long he had to deal with the discrimination from the clan for being illegitimate. Born from a fling when his father was merely a teenager and fancied one of the pretty maids. She fell pregnant and was immediately taken away. Satoru and his mother lived quietly under supervision, raised as the spare heir. That was until his mother collapsed, slowly dying since the beginning of Satoru's complicated birth.

You only got to know this secret after having heard your husband and the matriarch argue about what to do with the child. Neither of them wanted to take the child in, neither of them wanted to anything to do with the child, but they couldn't just abandon a potential heir.

"We will take the child in", you made yourself known and watched their faces paled.

Suddenly a pair of arms snaked around you from behind, "Good evening Madam Gojo, I suspect you and our children are doing well?"

You giggle turning back, "You suspect correct", the white haired man hummed and pecked your cheek before leaning down to your belly, "Hey, papa's home."

Your fingers found their place in his hair, a pair of ocean blue eyes stared up at you. Maybe your children will get his good genes, the same way Satoru did. They'll have ivory hair and blue eyes, and the same troublesome trait all Gojos seemed to have.

"What are you thinking about?", you squeaked as he pulled you into his lap, "W-Well I was just wondering whether the children would get your genes, like Satoru."

At the mention of his tainted past, the man sighed and pressed his lips against your neck, "Do you remember the promise I made to you back then?"

Your eyes softened as you whisper, "How could I forget?"

The night you found out about Satoru, you returned from bath only to find your husband seated on the guest couch with a glass of sake. He noticed you and stood up, prepared to hear how he had ruined everything.

But you merely answered, "The child has already gone through enough. I won't have him live poorly or endure your mother's wrath. He's your blood isn't he? So take responsibility for what you had done."

You thought that was the end but he pulled you in until your noses were touching, "Our marriage may not be one of romance, but you are my wife and the only woman I want by my side for the rest of my life. Only you can be the madam of this house, and only you will bear my heir."

A small laugh escape your figure and you cup his cheeks, "You think I feel threatened by him?", he hesitated to answer and you couldn't help but reward his efforts with a kiss, "You just worry about yourself."

"Y-hey what are you doing?!", the man grinned at how you just realised that he had stripped you down to the last thin robe of your kimono, "Come on, a little celebration wouldn't help~"

You tried to fight him. Ume would be coming soon to bring dinner. The doors weren't locked so anyone could come in. You still had a lot of work to do regarding the announcement of the pregnancy and hosting parties. The arguments fell deaf on his ears as the white haired man pinned you to the bed, slowly untying the final knot and scanning the curves of your body.

Both of you were unaware of the eyes watching you writhe against the bed, hair flowing around you like a halo. Unaware of the pumping hands matching the timing of your bouncing. Teeth ached as red marks began littering your body. Satoru bit his bottom lip as he was approaching the edge, Suguru was also geting there by the sound of his pants.

But maybe Satoru had been underestimating his opponent, because when he looked back, a pair of electric blue eyes stared at him intently. As if he was showing off to Satoru that it was his lips on your breasts, his thrust bringing you over the edge, and his children in your womb.

A wild grin grew on Satoru's face, he needed a new plan.

That. That is the grin I imagine. Nah just kidding.

Hoped you enjoyed, Lovelies! And don't worry there will be a part two! ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

[snowdice]

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 17)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Deceit, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned, explosions, car crashes (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 My Master Post

“Aw, come on kiddo,” Patton beseeched doing his absolutely best not to laugh at the adorable discontent expression on Anxiety’s face.

“You murdered all of my cows,” the boy grumbled. “All of them!”

Patton did giggle then. “That’s the game.”

“You knew!” Anxiety insisted. “You knew the cemetery was there, didn’t you? You’re familiar with this highway. That’s why you let me take the 150 cows you cheater.”

Patton didn’t bother to deny it. “All’s fair,” he said instead.

“You’re the worst,” Anxiety shot back. “Why don’t we play a game I can win.”

“Like what?” Patton asked, curious.

“Like…” he said. “Like, let’s play a game where whoever’s youngest wins.”

Patton chuckled. “Well I guess you’ve got me beat there.”

“Or a contest to see who has the straightest hair.”

“Sounds like a fun game, but we’d have to wash both of our hair just to make sure neither of us are cheating and have product in.”

There was a pause and Patton glanced over at him.

“Aw!” he cooed. “Do you secretly have curly hair too?”

Anxiety groaned.

“That’s adorable!”

“Is not,” he grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. “It ruins my aesthetic.”

“Aw, stop being so grumpy, kiddo.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t murdered all of my cows.”

“I sure did kill the moo-d, huh?”

Anxiety groaned. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“…Carjac-”

“I know, I know,” Anxiety huffed. Patton smiled over at him and reached over to ruffle his hair. “Ugh, stop! No!”

“I want to see the curls!” Patton teased as Anxiety batted him away.

“You’re lucky I don’t have the god damned knife.”

“Excuse me, was that a bad word Mister?”

“Ugh,” Anxiety groaned.

“I will turn this car around,” Patton threatened.

“Oh, yeah,” Anxiety said. “That’s what would make you stop driving. Silly me. I’ll try not to use the grown-up words.”

“See that you don’t.” Anxiety just shook his head and turned the radio up a bit to ignore him.

“The cows have been cleared up,” Anxiety noted.

Patton hummed. “Do you want to get on the interstate again?” he asked. “It would be about 10 minutes faster and I’m sure if anyone was tracking us, we lost them in all of that.”

“Sure,” he agreed. “I don’t see why not.” Patton nodded and took the next turn back onto the familiar interstate.

“So,” Patton hedged once they were back on the main road. “We’ll be there soon. What are your plans once we get there? Nothing in particular,” he rushed to say when he saw the kid frowning. He was a secretive little thing. “Just, what do you want me to do?”

“Oh, um,” he said, playing with the edges of his hoodie sleeve. “I don’t know.” He paused. “You can leave if you want.”

A smile flickered across Patton’s face. Not likely kid. “Well, I’m not going to leave at least until I make sure you’re with someone.”

“Thanks,” Anxiety said softly.

“I’m with you all the way Anxiety.”

“I still don’t understand you at all.” Patton just shrugged and smiled. “Also, you can call me Vee.”

“Ooo a partial name,” Patton said. “I’m moving up in your esteem.”

“I didn’t say that,” Vee snapped back. “My name might be Bob for all you know.”

“Right,” Patton agreed. “Of course. Bob. My bad.”

That caused Vee to smile though he seemed to be fighting it. After a few moments, the smile faded, and he started playing with the strings on his hoodie. “You’ve got to get back to your family though, eventually,” he said.

Patton shrugged, not mentioning the fact that they were literally driving towards his brother this very second. “They’re all adults who can more than handle themselves. My brother’s older than me and the twins have him. You need me a bit more right now.”

Vee thought for a moment, still rubbing his fingers over the frayed edge of the hoodie string. “I have an older brother,” he offered.

“Oh?” Patton asked.

“I tried to call him earlier after my uncle,” Vee said. “He didn’t pick up.”

“Well, I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation for that, just like with your uncle.”

Vee bit his lip. “I don’t know if…” he said, “if he’d be on my side in this or not.”

“What do you mean?”

Vee looked away out the window. “Our mom’s the one who killed my dad,” he said quietly.

“Oh, honey,” Patton said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“So, I don’t know if my brother would side with her or not. I don’t want to think he’d hand me over to her if I went to him, but…”

Poor kiddo, Patton thought. He wished he could say with certainty that his brother wouldn’t do something like that, but Patton didn’t know enough about him to know for certain. He hoped not. “I’ll help you figure it all out,” Patton promised. “I’ll make sure you don’t have to go with your mom.”

Vee snorted. “I don’t know what you can do, but thanks for the sentiment.”

“Oh,” Patton said. “I think I could do a thing or two.”

“Sorry,” Vee said dryly, “but your reaction to a carjacking was to get me ice cream.”

Patton laughed lightly. “Good point.

“I really don’t want to go with my mom, but I don’t think the cops would listen to me,” Vee said. “She’s technically my mom even though I’ve never even spent the night at her house. Does this make her my legal guardian now?”

“If she’s the one who killed your father, I doubt people would let you go with her.”

“You don’t know mom,” Vee mumbled. “I’m sure no one would even think to try to arrest her for that, let alone convict her. Would they let my uncle be my guardian even if she isn’t arrested?”

“They’d be willing to do that I’m sure. Especially since you’re already 15, anyone would listen to your opinion on where you live.” Vee look at least a bit relieved at that. “So, you like your uncle then?” Patton asked.

“He’s great,” Vee said. “He lived with us when I was really little. He always made me eat my vegetables and helps me out when I’m anxious. He’s a psychiatrist so he knows his stuff.”

“I have a friend whose brother is a psychiatrist,” Patton said. “I’ve never met him, but Logan sends people to him when they need mental health care. It’s a big help for a lot of them.”

“Yeah,” Vee agreed. “It wouldn’t be too bad living with him, I guess.”

 “Well I’ll make sure you end up with him and not your mom, okay?”

“Sure,” Vee replied.

Patton shot him a half smile and they continued driving for a few minutes before he exited the interstate. “We’re almost there” he told Vee.

Vee bit his lip. “I hope this wasn’t a stupid idea…” he said.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s fine,” Patton said. He flipped a switch on near his steering wheel that would open the gate for them a few seconds before said gate came into view. He drove up the driveway and chose to park in front of the ‘factory’ instead of trying to park in the underground parking garage which would certainly freak Vee out.

“Just looks like a creepy abandoned factory,” Vee commented, eyeing the old concrete building with its boarded over windows. “It’s almost too perfectly abandoned,” he said, eyes narrowed. Smart boy.

“Ready?” Patton asked.

Vee still looked nervous, but he nodded determinedly after a moment and exited the car. Patton followed him. He let Vee lead the way up the gravel path to the entrance of the building. He studied the door for a couple of minutes and then pushed it slowly open. Patton was sure at this point that someone downstairs had probably noticed them and would come up to greet them soon.

Vee was looking around himself with suspicious eyes. “Okay,” he said. “What do we do now?”

“Probably just wait to see if anyone comes to meet us,” Patton said.

Vee started poking around a bit. “It’s pretty clean for an abandoned factory,” he said.

“Mmhmm,” Patton replied.

He considered a couple of panels near the door and Patton observed him, curious about what he’d do. He made a startled noise when one of the panels came off. “Oops,” he said. He peered into the hole he’d just made. “Well… that’s not good. Whoever put that camera there is probably not going to be happy with me.”

Patton had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. The person who put that camera there would not.

Vee set the broken panel back against the wall. It hung off of it awkwardly. “At least we know there really is someone here and it’s not just an abandoned factory.”

“That is good,” Patton agreed. Just then there was a soft ding which Patton identified as the hidden elevator the room over.

Vee’s head shot up to look in the direction of the sound, and the boy shuffled closer to Patton.

Logan himself rounded the corner after a moment and looked over at them with his lips pursed and looking especially cross. “How is it,” he asked, “that you always do exactly what I need you to do in the most irritating and inconvenient way possible?”

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 18

[jojos-stardew-adventure]

stars and stardrops

A/N: new chapter! i think this is the best one so far OvO

this chapter reader’s nimbo-ness almost comes out full force, almost

-----

Ao3 Link

chapter 5: cows and slime ( click for chapter 1 )

<<last chapter | next chapter>>

Summary: you meet a cow and go to the mines

-----

Ever since Bruno gifted you your fishing pole you've been fishing almost anywhere, any chance you could. It required a lot of patience but you were actually getting the hang of it and had even caught a few things. You also found it very relaxing, spending most of it waiting and staring off into the distance.

Today, your main focus was fishing at a pond you had seen on the map. Who knew what you could catch there, but first you were making a stop to a place nearby.

On your map, not too far from the pond, was a spot labeled Reimi's Farm. One of the multiple buildings in town you still haven’t been to yet.

When you get there you immediately notice a cabin a distance away. That was strange. There's no marking for it on the map. Well, guess you have two places to visit now!

You head up to the ranch and a cow greets you with a ‘moo’ as you walk past the gated area attached to the ranch. It ambles towards you. You didn't know cows were the curious type or maybe this one was just an anomaly?

"Hi..." 

The cow moos again in response.

I’m a cow whisper.

"Hello!"

You whip your head to the side. Why do people keep sneaking up on you?

An older woman with wavy pink hair stood next to you. "Looks like you and Moodonna are getting along well.”

You giggle a little at the name before you can stop it. "Sorry. I think so? I didn't know cows could be curious."

"It's actually pretty common. They can also be quite friendly too! I'm Reimi by the way and you're ___ . " She smiles and holds a hand out for you to shake. "Nice to meet you."

You grab her warm, calloused hand and return a smile of your own. "I was actually coming over to introduce myself since I was walking to the pond, but I've been beaten again--first Bruno, now you!"

Reimi gives you a curious look.

"Ah, nevermind," you say.

Reimi looks as she’s considering something before she speaks again. "Have you ever wanted a chicken farmer?"

You pause from the sudden question. "What? Like to eat?"

She laughs. “No hun, for eggs!”

"Oh!” You feel your face heating up. “No, sorry, I never really thought about that?"

"Well it would be very profitable for you as a farmer if you did get some. Along with some cows... Maybe some ducks too!"

“D-Ducks?”

She did have a point but you'd never taken care of a house pet, let alone a farm animal.

"I don't really know how to though."

"No worries ___, I'll be there to help you out," she states. “Whenever you're ready just visit me.”

"Uh okay, sure!"

After saying bye to Reimi you head to your next stop--the cabin. 

You knock on the door and wait a moment but nothing happens. Maybe whoever lived there was out at the moment? You’d just have to visit another day.

-----

A few days ago you spent some time at Trattoria Trussardi with ‘The Bucci Gang’, as you fondly referred to them--of course they didn’t know that.

“I can't believe Speedwagon is allowing the removal of that boulder,” Abbacchio grumbled.

"The one closing the mines?" Fugo asked.

Narancia perked up at this, “REALLY!?”

Abba, sighed at the boy's tone. "That place is dangerous and you three know it!"

"We never actually go down though! It's fine," Mista waved him off.

"Why would you three even go into the mine cave?" Giorno asks, curious.

Fugo rests his head against his hand. "Narancia liked the echoes of his music there and we just keep him company."

"Oh man I can’t wait to go back there! It’s been too long," Narancia smiled, completely ignoring Abbachio's warning look.

You listened quietly, intrigued. 

After wandering around town, you finally find the mines. Abbacchio could not find out about this ever. 

You walk through the wooden entrance of the mine and into an opened area of dirt, scattered with rocks and boulders. The lanterns perched on the walls light the space in a dim glow. 

What you aren’t expecting to see but aren’t exactly surprised by are Narnicia, Mista, and Fugo sitting among the rocks.

“Guys you shouldn’t be here! Abbacchio is gonna get all huffy if he finds out.”

“Pshh, that's not going to happen cause he’s not going to! And even if he does he most likely won’t do anything….maybe,” Narancia says.

“You should be more worried about yourself. Why are you even here?” Fugo asks.

“Okay calm down there sassy pants.” You cross your arms, “I’m just passing by….”

Mista smirks, “You’re such a shit liar.”

You pout, “....JUST LEAVE!”

All three of them laugh but to your surprise move to leave the mines.

“Wow y’all are actually listening to me?” You hadn’t known them for that long but in the last two weeks you realized pretty quickly that they did whatever they felt like unless Bruno was involved.

“We were about to leave anyway,” Narancia says. 

“He already went through two albums of his annoying music,” Mista adds.

Narancia huffs at him in offense. “It’s not annoying!”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Fugo warns.

And with that they exit the mines.

You sigh and walk further into the mine. There's a ladder descending into a hole near a pile of rocks. You also notice the elevator at the back.

After waiting for a while, you realize that pressing the up button does nothing.

Part of you wants to go down the ladder and see what's waiting at the end but you don't know how sturdy it is. You're already taking a risk being in a mine that's entrance apparently collapsed at one point.

Reluctantly, you decide to just head back before something bad happens and Abbacchio chews you out for it, but as you walk towards the exit the elevator behind you pings and you turn to see a tall brunette exit it.

"Hey!" You raise your brow when he points a finger at you. "What are you doing?" He squints, “...and who are you?"

You freeze under his skeptical look. "...I’m ___."

"I don't know any ___."

You rush to explain yourself. "The new farmer who moved in!" For some reason you felt nervous, like a child caught eating sugar. 

The man continues to stare you down before realization crosses his face. 

"Oh!" He adjusts his scarf, "It's great that you're here then cause I totally forgot to deliver that letter Lisa Lisa asked me to!" He scratches at the back of his neck.

"...Huh?" This had to be your strangest interaction in town so far.

"I’m Joseph by the way. Joseph Joestar."

"I’m ___."

"You already said that."

"Oh yea."

"I swear not this dense! Usually just a regular level of dense." You fiddle with your overall straps. 

"Oh man, I was worried you’d be a stick in the mud like Caesar but you seem chill! You should totally join our guild."

You blink. "What guild?"

"The adventure guild obviously! You haven't heard of us? Haven't you've been here for over a week?" He continues without waiting for answers. "Anyways, it's a guild where we go into the mines to kick the shit out of monsters and pretty much keep them from over running the mines. It’s been awhile since we’ve actually gotten to do that though..."

You gawk. "Monsters?" This man couldn't be serious. “There're monsters in these mines? T-Those exist?"

“Yep and they're super scary!”

You swallow nervously. Why would you want to be involved with something like that?

"Kidding! They're mainly cute slimes, pesky bugs and bats until you get deeper. Then they start to get really weird."

"You're making me seem super old! I'm only like 26 so just call me Joseph. The mines really aren't that bad though." The way this man switches from one topic to another would take some getting used to. 

He reaches to his side where a sword hangs, unhooks it and holds it out to you. 

You make no move to grab it.

"Why don't you try the first couple of levels? I promise you probably won't die. The elevator will bring you back up whenever you get tired."

He pushes the sword into your hand. "When you're done just visit the building next door. I’ll leave it open for ya!" 

After that he leaves.

Were you supposed to go right now? You stare at the rusty sword in your hand.

Well you wouldn't even be in Pelican Town unless you didn't take risks. (And you actually wanted to go down, you just had an excuse to do so now.)

You ignore the logical side of your brain saying that that wasn't comparable to going down into a monster filled mine and head towards the ladder.

This is really dumb.

-----

The gelatinous mass of a pissed off giant, green slime lunges at you. You barely manage to get into a defensive position and block its hit towards your body.

Your arms shake as you push your weight forward and shove the green blob backwards with the side of your sword. Blood runs from the fresh cut you just gained across your palm due to your careless grip on the sword’s blade. Ignoring the sting, you quickly raise the sword knowing the slime will lunge again.

When it rushes at you, you bring your weapon down as hard as you can. It was slightly late but fortunately, the sword’s blade easily slices through its soft, green body and manages to catch it in the center. The blob’s movement abruptly stops as it struggles to keep its consistency. 

A second passes before green slime rushes past your whole body. You accidentally get some in your mouth.

After the slime starts to settle, you cough and wipe at your face, trying to get it away from your eyes. 

‘Cute slimes’ my ass.

While you grumble about Joseph's lack of warning, you try to get the slime off your hands. This distracts you enough that a small slime manages to jump onto your leg. You swiftly shake it off then realize small slimes are forming from the goo around your boots. 

After you handle them, you high tail it to the elevator door before more crap tries to attack you.

You’ve definitely had enough for today.

-----

You enter the wooden building covered in dirt and drying goop--you were taking a long shower after this.

"OH MY GOD YOU ACTUALLY DID IT!?" Joseph's loud accented voice makes you jump. 

He's sitting near the counter. A lady behind it with long brunette hair and sunglasses looks at you. Why she was wearing sunglasses indoors, you didn’t know but they looked good on her.

"Uhhh yea… Wasn’t that the point?"

"I didn't think you’d actually go down there you mad lad!"

You open your mouth but no words come out in your confusion.

"Jesus Christ Joseph can you shut the hell up!" A voice comes from a room in the back.

A blonde man with a colorful headband comes through the door. "Why are you being so loud for anyway-" His eyes land on your slime covered form.

He immediately turns towards the brunette man. "What did you do?" He says, irritation clear in his voice.

"What! You're already blaming me!?"

"Yes because only you would cause something like this!”

You stare at the two bickering worried that they might actually get physical.

"Boys."

They both quiet down immediately. 

You brows raise in surprise.

The lady stands up from the chair looking directly at you. Her smooth, authoritative voice continues. "Looks like you've got what it takes to fight. Even though I told Joseph to keep watch--"

You see Caesar shoot said man a glare. Joseph only smiles and looks away.

"--you handled it on your own though and right away at that."

She removes her glasses from her face. "Are you ready to start your initiation?"

[honestsycrets]

The Storyteller

❛ pairing | bjorn x ivar [ platonic]

❛ type | oneshot

❛ summary | So for Bjorn 5CW, it has this idea of a fic that includes Ivar. Those two are always at each other’s throat and I feel like they never could bond since Ivar is the youngest. I imagine a sweet moment between then when Ivar is a baby/toddler or a little boy. Maybe he is in pain and Bjorn tells him a story of the Gods to distract and appease him. Thanks 😊😘

❛  warnings | angst, Ivar in pain, floof

Waa! Waaa! Waa!

Princess Aslaug had to be exhausted. No matter that there were three other boys-- his brothers, to care for. The new baby was crying without cessation. Bjorn lay on his bed within his father’s home with his hands clasped together just listening to the princess pacing forward and back through the room. His father must have been awake already.

Young Bjorn loved his brothers. All of them-- not just Ubbe and Hvitserk or little Sigurd who chased after them fruitlessly. His thumb came to the back of his triskele pendant, deciding what to do. Then finally he kicked his feet out from the warm bed, thrusting the furs aside and walked in nothing but his lazing trousers to where his mother in law was pacing around a warm fire, her white underdress lifting and dropping as she paced.

“Bjorn.” She says. He can weigh the exhaustion in her voice. “Aren’t you to be asleep?”

“I heard you.” He motions-- then realizes that she might take it the wrong way. “I thought I could help with Ivar.”

She glances from him down to his half brother. Bjorn’s hands flex in and out of fists with tension, sure that she might not consider his words in good faith.

“I’m fine.” The princess says.

“You haven’t slept.” Bjorn presses, flicking his hands a little bit. “I just thought you could use the sleep.”

Aslaug looks down to her child, not screaming, but rather whimpering loudly in her arms. When Ivar would sleep-- it was very much up to chance. He had no eyes for anyone but that of his mother quite usually. Even when he slept it would be in her arms or nothing. Still, she had to admit that the days were long, her exhaustion more so. She glances to the bed where Ragnar sleeps, his arm tucked around Sigurd’s soft side.

“Be gentle with him.”

The transfer leaves Bjorn with arms full of his brother. Abruptly crying again, but Bjorn’s eyes divert her to the bed rather than her son who seems to trigger nothing short of a mother’s response.

“No tricks, firebringer.” Bjorn reasons with his half brother. “Your mother needs sleep. Stay with your brother instead.

He wraps Ivar’s woven blankets warmly about Ivar’s misshapen legs, looking to the smoldering embers that often still Ivar’s rippling cries. Behind him, he hears the bed creak. The princess joins her husband, Ubbe, and Hvitserk in bed.

“I’ll tell you of the trickster.”

He tells his small brother, setting his finger in the little boy’s iron grip. He waves in front of the warm fire, garnering his thoughts altogether. He comes to a stop after a few circles around the flame.

“Once, while Loki was traveling across Midgard's hearth, he came upon a body boiling in the molten crust. The body of a beautiful woman.” Bjorn brought his finger down to playfully bop Ivar’s nose. “Her long hair danced in the vibrant red cracks while her body cooled into dusky ash. But the greatest of his discovery was the woman’s heart.”

Bjorn bobs around the fire, wondering if his baby brother would have the pleasure of having a woman when he was an adult. Yes, he came to the conclusion, he would. He was a Ragnarsson. So this story-- the one he told Ubbe, the one he told Hvitserk and little Sigurd, had to be said to prepare this little boy for what was ahead of him. It only took one lover to show him that women were tricky.

Some days they were hot, loving you in a forest shamelessly. Other days they would take up their axe and leave you a single father. Bjorn did not understand this-- why had Frigg chosen this path for him? It was good and well that Porunn wanted to be a shieldmaiden. Maybe he had been overbearing-- overbearing because he knew the pain his mother went through in the same path. But he loved her, so, so much.

“He bent down over the ash and swept away dust from her chest. His fingers seared as he dug his hand into her chest and ate of her heart.” Bjorn explains. His bright eyes look to him curiously, big and bright. An innocent child who doesn’t know the horrors of the world he was born into. Or the path laid before him. Soon enough, Bjorn thinks. Soon enough.

“Bitter and rancid!” Bjorn hops in his step and manages to sneak a smile of the little boy who knew nothing but his mother and a life of pain. He feels like he’s actually done something for his family at that moment.

“But what Loki failed to see was the woman for her full nature. Seeping under his skin, filling him with childlike a woman. For nine long months, Loki labored as a milkmaid to the cows below.” Bjorn moos softly at him, mimicking ridiculous noises until the boy finally stills. He pulls up a seat to the warm fire, cradling his baby brother close. The fur warms them all night, creaking under his weight. Back and forth, back and forth.

“Your pain, my brother, is what it feels like to love.”

@igetcarriedawaywithyou, @kylobien, @titty-teetee, @breathlessouls, @nejijjeoroo, @bcat1291, @readsalot73, @mslothbrok, @romanchronicles, @captstefanbrandt, @ailucascen, @michaeliskindahot, @cbouvier23, @naaladareia, @cbouvier23, @the-geeky-engineer, @dorned, @lisinfleur, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @tephi101, @akamaiden, @ethereallysimple, @venusloviing, @happylittlepuppydog, @beyond-the-ashes, @slutforrpg, @hipsternoionlylikeunicorns, @mixedwiththemoon, @sparklemichele, @alicedopey, @lif3snotouttogetyou, @rubyquartzshades, @noregretsandyeteveryregret, @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @deathbyarabbit, @unacceptabletatertots, @beyond-the-ashes (no sig), @babypink224221, @ivarandersen, @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @icarus-fell-in-spring, @end-of-night, @gruffle1, @lol-haha-joke @arses21434,  @smileyparrots, @Moosemittens13, @miss-artemis-wild, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @wonderwoman292, @wish-i-was-a-mermaid, @fangirls94, @mcuimxgine, @killerb00sdeath, @heartbeats-wildly, @boo20017, @acacheofstrange, @shaelyn102, @astoryoffireandlight, @smokealone, @shaelyn102 @laketaj24, @peaceisadirtyword, @ly--canthrope@cris101071 @daughterofthenight117 @unassumingviking @ladyofsoa, @inforapound @wichesterwife27

[hollandroos]

The Price We Pay | Four

Summary: A one night stand was all it took for your entire life to change. You're shoved into unknown territory, agreeing to fake date the prince long enough for his parents and the media to get off of his back only there are a few issues... one of them being that you really can’t stand each other.

Series Masterlist

Words: 4.2K

Warnings: None!

Moodboard by @marvelousxtsh

-

“I thought I told you just to dress casually?” You taunt.

Tom steps out of the car– the passenger seat to be correct because after half an hour of back and forth you finally made him agree to drive, claiming it’d be a waste of time to get a driver. Though a part of you wondered when the last time he drove was and if it’d be safe.

But you were still alive, even after the painfully awkward drive between games of Ispy.

He shrugs, brown curls slicked around. “I wanted to make a good first impression.”

“Tom, sweatpants and a hoodie would have been fine. You could scare them off in that.”

His eyes widen, immediately going to stare down at his outfit– maybe it was a little over the top but truth be told he had no idea about your family and where they came from. He feared underdressing and hadn’t debated overdressing in the slightest.

“Fuck, really?”

You tug him forward by the front of his coat, pulling it off of his shoulders. Beneath was a white dress shirt tucked into his pants and you undid the top button, puffing out the collars. You throw the jacket into the front seat of the car and Tom grimaced at the way the material creased, buttons knocking against the dash.

“That’s a little better, you look good like this.” You felt a little proud and he smiles, glancing around for cameras but he finds none– in fact, he finds no one. Your childhood home really was in the middle of nowhere. “Just c’mon, and remember to relax, my family is nowhere as intense as yours.”

God, were you going to kill him–

He shoves the thoughts to the back of his brain. “S-should I hold your hand?”

“Yeah, we want to pull this off don’t we?”

He takes your hand into his own, intertwining your fingers together. The action was probably the closest you’d been since that night and it bought Tom a sense of comfort, reminding him that he wasn’t alone in this– so he began rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“Oh yeah, by the way, I have four siblings.”

Maybe you should’ve told him soon– about Kenny who was only a year younger then you and Carley who was eighteen, then there was Louis and Marcus who were fifteen. But Tom never asked.

Four? Tom had none.

He stands startled. “What–”

“Y/N!” A shrill voice calls and you smile at the two twins that raced towards you, one with ponytails and the other a set of muddy shorts.

They were loud and extremely clingy. Personal space didn’t exist and showers were the enemy– even after a day of helping in the backyard.

You turn to Tom and give him a lopsided smile, small crinkles forming beneath your eyes. And rather sarcastically, you kneel. “Welcome to my life, your majesty.”

-

From there, Tom watched you interact with your four siblings, each of a different age except the twins with completely different personalities. You were right, they were loud and it came as a shock to him.

But he sort of liked it.

The prince was used to hundreds of hallways, the only noise being his own two feet padding against the marble ground as well as his men or the grandfather clocks singing a chorus every hour. Here, you had to speak up to be heard and shout across the table which at the palace would’ve been considered rude– here it was the only way to get your thoughts out.

Louis and Marcus had easily gravitated towards Tom and Carley had clearly tried to suck up the prince and he found it amusing. He allowed them to play around in the fairly expensive ride and even gave each of your siblings a box of chocolates as a ‘hey, I’m suddenly dating your sister please like me’ gift.

Kenny didn’t trust the man one bit.

But he watched you interact with each of the kids like they were your own and he briefly remembered you mentioning the hours you’d spend taking care of them when your mum was at work, making their favourite lunches and playing games to pass the hours.

It was a softer side he was pleased to see.

He watched you smile, corners of your lips turning upwards as they fill you in on everything you’d missed like Kenny moving jobs and their science project at school.

Tom had never had that, the comfort of another sibling. From an early age, he was in the classroom learning how to be a prince– the best kind of prince in fact. He wasn’t learning how to balance books on his head but laws at the age of nine. He had maids and cooks and teachers and busy parents that never ceased to forget about his existence.

But it doesn’t take him long of sitting around an overly crowded family table, much smaller then his own for him to realise that someone was missing.

“Where’s your mum?”

You leave the other kids to discuss whose turn it was to do dishes, ignoring your own stomach rumbling. “Right about now she’ll be at work but she’ll be back by dinner to meet my handsome boyfriend, she’s very excited.” You watch his face change. “Yes, Thomas, the people here do have to work long hours to get by.”

“I knew that! I did, I just thought they finished around three you know…” He feels a wave of awkwardness wash over him and fiddles with his fingers. “I don’t think your brother likes me very much.” He nods towards Kenny.

And of course, you being as uncaring as you turned straight to your younger brother. “Ken, what do you think of Tom?”

His face hardens. “I’m undecided.”

The comment makes Tom tense and if his heart wasn’t pounding before then it most definitely was now. He couldn’t put his finger on why he felt so nervous about this. If anything he must’ve been more nervous then you when you met his parents but he wasn’t sure because to this point in time, you’d done a beyond amazing at keeping your feelings hidden.

Tom felt like he’d barely peeled back one layer of many.

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing.” You try, taking his hand into your own and giving it a squeeze once more. “The others love you.”

It was a small action but one that made Tom’s heart run miles.

“Tom!” Carley says, staring between the two of you. She interrupts your small– barely there but there nonetheless moment. “Did you know that you’re the first boy she’s bought home in… probably forever?”

Toms' eyes widen, finding your suddenly fearful gaze. “Really?”

“Okay that’s not true–” You tense, sending her a threatening glare. But your sister only shrugs, a teasing smile making way on her face. She knew what she was doing and you hated it.

“We all didn’t think this day would come but here it is.”

Your grit your teeth and unknowingly squeeze Toms hand a little harder. He notices. “This is why I didn’t fuckin–”

“Tell me more, I want to know all about Y/N.” Tom interrupts, feeling your grip loosen. “What was she like as a child? did she listen at school?”

-

After half an hour of hearing all about your interest without your consent, your siblings all decided to scatter. Some went off to play with friends, some went to their room to do homework and one of them was apparently working out.

You didn’t know when your sister got so productive.

You and Tom wondered around the property, introducing him to your long missed farm animals. You watched his face change to disgust as he stepped over manure and puddles, nearly laughing at the way he seemed nearly unsure of every single step.

Of course, there were animals at the castle but nothing like this.

He didn’t tend to go around to the pens but seeing the pigs at yours– leaning down to pet them and nearly being shoved back when they rammed into his legs was surprising but made him laugh nonetheless.

And the cows– he loved the cows. There were two of them, Betsy and Bucky and without hesitation he pets the both of them.

“Originally we were going to sell them to the slaughterhouse but we grew too attached, mostly me but the younger ones did too of course and we managed to convince mum to keep them. So now they’re like our pets.” You smile, running a hand over Betsy's back.

Bucky moos at Tom.

“They’re adorable.” He smiles, stepping in what was either mud or cow manure. Tom only screws his face up for a second but quickly gets over himself. He had promised to give this a try and he wasn’t regretting it yet. “Do you have chickens?”

“Lots of them. When we were kids it’d be a race to see who could get the eggs first.” You smile at the memory.

“And here I thought you were a towns girl but you’re really a country girl at heart.”

“And here I thought you were an asshole prince, I guess only one of us was right with our assumptions.” You smile cheekily.

The two of you continue to walk around the place slowly, making sure to take it everything from the surprisingly blue sky to the grass that flattened beneath your feet with every step and the smell– because the smell wasn’t the best but the amazement in his eyes was definitely worth something.

“We haven’t actually had a proper moment to talk.” He mutters, stuffing his hands into his pant pockets. “I mean there was that first night, we were drunk. Then we were rushed then my parents were involved.”

“Have we not?”

“Nope.” Tom shakes his head, the two of you continue to walk around the property. “I hope you know that I appreciate what you’re doing for me. Seriously– it means a lot. I know it probably wasn’t easy to give up work and going from being… you, to headlining the papers.”

“Work was easy to give up, my boss is an ass and it really wasn’t easy have those out there.” You laugh, shaking your head. “Are you going soft on me?”

“I’ve always been soft, you just push my limits.” Tom teases, taking his hands out of his pockets.

You snort. “I do?”

He ignores the moment his hand brushes against yours.

“You have attitude, you’re feisty, no one’s ever spoken to me the way you do before and it’s– it’s different.” He shrugs, voice reaching a new pitch.

“I’m just real, Tom. I’m not going to start kissing your feet or beg you to love me. You’re a man with a crown and that crown means barely anything to me.”

“You see me as a person.” He highlights.

“You are a person. A person that annoys me to an extent.”

You come across the mud puddles you used to push your siblings into when you were a kid.

“Why do I annoy you so much?”

You don’t have an answer to his question at that moment.

So you shove him.

You watch him hit the ground with a gentle thud, mud splattering up and staining the end of your pants but he looked worse.

“Are you fucking serious?” He hisses.

You cover your mouth, trying to prevent him from seeing the smile that took place and the giggles that threatened to spill. You didn’t even care about how threatening his words sounded.

He looked a right mess. Mud stained Toms pants and right up to his waist, hands planted in the mud were a sticky brown and the frown on his face only topped it off. Dirt clung to his coffee brown curls.

You didn’t even take a second to think about how expensive his clothes were before you threw him into the giant puddle of mud or how long it’d take to clean his outfit, you purely focused on the amusement you felt the moment he hit the mud and the look of pure shock and disgust on his face when he realised that he was now coated in the mess.

“This isn’t funny!” He snaps, screwing his nose up at the god awful smell. “Get me the hell out of here or I swear–”

Tom stops, cutting himself off as he sees you clutching your stomach, laughs slipping from your lips. He watches the way your eyes screw shut, strands of hair falling over your face as you lean forward to grip the post for support and you hurl over just enough to take hold of your lower stomach.

“You just– you look so funny right now. You got such a shock too oh my god.” The words came out between laughs and gasps for air, there was even a single tear.

Then he had an idea– one that he knew could either get him into trouble or extend the fun and of course, Tom wanted to extend the fun.

“Can you help me out?”

He sticks a muddy hand out and you wipe a stray tear away, still trying to get your breathing back as you clasp your hand in his. All you thought he was going to do was push himself up, not pull you in.

“Tom–”

Then you were in the mud too, landing right on top of him. Your hands sunk into the muck which was anything but warm, coating themselves in the dirt before a heavy gasp left your lips, spots of mud decorating your cheeks.

Your laughs stopped, mouth falling open and shut like a fish as you took in the sight of your clothes lathered in ick and it stunk– dear god it stunk but not even a second later you took a hand full of dirt and dropped it on Toms clothed chest, turning the white tee a deeper shade of brown. You shouldn’t have been surprised and if you were watching instead of laughing then you would’ve seen him pull you in.

Still, the thought doesn’t plague your mind for too long because seconds later your hands are back in the mud collecting another handful.

“You’ve started a war you won’t win.” He threatens, a smirk forming on his features. Dirt sits at the corner of his mouth.

“Try me, Holland.”

He dumped mud directly on top of your head, strands of hair now highlighted the same colour of the muck you were still sitting in, back coated too from rolling off of him. Instead of getting annoyed, your chest erupted in giggles.

You felt like a child again, throwing mud back and forth with your siblings when your parents weren’t watching and Tom felt like… he felt like a different person. Because the prince would never do something this dirty just for fun.

With mud slathered all over his hands, Tom places one hand on your cheek gently creating a handprint on your face. You were both covered in the stuff. Your clothing may as well be thrown out and your hair would need some serious care but the smile on both of your faces was enough for it to be worth it.

The sun beat down on the two of you as you continued to layer each other in mother nature's gift, screwing your noses up at the sight of each other but that didn’t stop you.

Tom felt his cheeks flush at the sight of you so carefree but doubted it was noticeable beneath the mud. He basked in your giggles, the way your eyes squeezed shut as you wiped any dirt away from your eyes. You were happy and so was he.

There was no camera flashing or expectations to be held. It was just the two of you like it had been the first night and Tom had to stop and realise- this was the girl he’d spent the night with, giggling over glasses of wine and cheap alcohol.

It was carefree, bittersweet.

Then you were sitting there, both winding down and panting, the odd laugh still slicing through the silence and neither of you could even think about what you’d be going back to tomorrow. The next news line or obstacle you’d have to overcome was forgotten.

“What do we do now?” You sigh, taking in the site of both you and Tom covered head to toe in mud. If your mother were home, she would have lost it with both of you. You’d both be in the corner.

You looked the same way you smelt.

Tom screws his nose up, trying not to laugh at the sight of you with mud prints on both cheeks. “We smell disgusting.”

“Come on, we’ll use the shower before my family gets home– and not together!” You offer, beginning to force yourself out of the muck, noticing how his face changed from suggestive to blunt.

He felt something new.

“Damn it,” Tom mutters under his breath, fighting to urge to pull you back in. He didn’t want to go too far. “It was worth a shot.”

“Keep trying, maybe one day you’ll get there.”

That newfound feeling was hope.

-

The shower was… difficult to say the least.

You had to stand and watch the clear water turn a sickly shade of brown as it hit the floor and ran down the drain, clumps of dirt and shreds of grass following closely behind. It made you grimace but lathering yourself in the coconut scented soap and finally feeling clean again was worth it.

You step out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped just above your breasts and hair down naturally wet after the shower.

Tom glances up once– only once, then he directed his gaze back down to the book he was reading. It was clearly one from your bookshelf and by the looks of things he looked pretty into it, or at least he was pretending to be.

Your bookshelf was full and he wondered if you’d ever actually read a single one of them or if they were just for display.

It wasn’t the book in hand that shocked you but the fact that he wasn’t staring you down, his eyes weren’t filled with a certain hunger and instead they were focused on the pages of the teen romance novel. He was showing basic respect and it shocked you.

“Aren’t going to look? I’m practically naked?” You taunt, reaching into one of your draws. The plush, white towel rides up your thighs.

He shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the pages. “I’m not that bad, you know?” Tom chuckles. His hair was still wet from his own shower, hanging over his forehead in unkempt curls, wet and a darker shade then normal.

“I had a hunch,” You shrug. “Just a little bit surprised is all.”

He wore your brother's clothes, simply a plain grey tee and jeans and you’d admit that you thought he looked better in actual colours but he also looked good in the more– normal, everyday clothing.

And actually seeing him fitting in with your family made your heart flutter, stomach twisting and churning.

It actually felt weird to see a boy in your childhood bedroom– a boy that was used to so much more then a shoebox-sized room and a single bed. He was probably shocked by the little amount of furniture because of course you didn’t have a three-person couch in the corner or your own fireplace for when it got really cold.

But he did fit in, you knew that much.

You duck into the bathroom to throw your clothes on and put your hair up in the towel to dry it off, not wanting to deal with pesky drops of water running down the back of your neck and walk back into your bedroom. He was still in the same place.

“My family should be back soon and we could get going if you want?” You offer, tugging the oversized shirt down your thighs.

Tom glances up, placing the book down beside him. “Why don’t we take your mother's offer and stay the night? I mean I can take the couch and we can just head back tomorrow. It’s what? Half five anyway and the ride back would easily take an hour.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Yeah, if you want to that is.”

You furrow your brows, silently pleased that he had put that offer on the table. You had missed your family and staying a night would do you good. Maybe it’d do Tom some good too.

“Okay, Romeo, we’ll stay here tonight and be on the road by eight tomorrow?”

“Eight sounds good.” He smiles innocently, legs folded on the bed crisscross and you notice a scarred line down one of his temples beneath the light, a little imperfection that you wouldn’t have normally noticed.

There were those few exterior imperfections that you’d picked up on like that scar and his eyebrow– the one that was a little wonky compared to the other and his height you’d picked up on. He seemed to want to be taller then he was.

But you didn’t have an issue with any of it.

Of course you had your own flaws too and even thinking about them made you want to duck cover and hide. But Tom was slowly picking up on them. He’d be lying if he said he minded.

That night Tom slept on the couch in the living room with a selection of sheets over the top of him and a woollen duvet. For someone who had never slept on a couch in his life, he slept like a baby and you? You spent a solid hour staring at the ceiling before finally drifting off.

Tom felt a sense of comfort, draped in not only the blankets but a sense of comfort. He didn’t worry that people were watching him– attempting to pry out a secret or expose him to the world and he slept soundly that night.

-

It was a seven am wake up.

The sun streamed through the thin blinds, pulling Tom from a rather deep sleep and quite literally, forcing him out of bed. He wouldn’t admit that he fell from the bed with a tumble, hitting the ground with a heavy thud.

He neatly folded the blankets given and straightened out the pillows, making the place look presentable and sat and waited for you to come in. He flicked through papers, tried out different seating positions tried to force him back to sleep before he heard the living room door open and stumbled up, turning to see you looking beyond tired– he feared to ask why.

You grumbled a good morning, hugging the fuzzy robe to your chest and trudged to the kitchen. Tom followed loosely behind much like a lost puppy.

“So, the plan today? We leave at around eight and you dropping me straight home? Because I’m tired and don’t feel like dressing up for your parents again– as fun as it was prancing around in a dress last time.” You laugh lightly, voice slightly raspy.

But Tom doesn’t mind it.

“Yeah I can drop you straight home, we can try and avoid the paps but there is something I need to ask.”

For some reason he felt nervous to ask, utterly unsure as to what your answer would be. Of course you’d only known each other for just over a week but the media had suspected around a month or more.

And as a royal things were expected to move fast.

Then your mother walks in.

“Morning you two.”

Your mum sounds as tired as ever, the bags under her eyes evident and hair thrown around messily– much like yours. She wasn’t cherry, never being a morning person but you knew that she was happy to have you back even if it was just for one night.

Tom tenses.

“Morning Ms. Y/L/N, how’d you sleep?” Tom wraps his arms around your waist as he asks the question, pulling your back flush against his chest making you too look like a real couple. You tensed at the sudden physical act of affection, nearly dropping the butter knife but don’t.

It wasn’t the question he wanted to ask but It was one that made him look respectful. You feel his lips ghosting across your temple and for a moment bask in his gentle touch.

“Not well, Marcus kept me up in the night again.” She sighs, “I did sleep a little better though knowing that my daughter was back under my roof.”

You smile, though deep down you felt bad about the lie that you were carrying out. “You know you can come and visit me anytime you need to get away? I’m sure Kenny wouldn’t mind looking after the younger ones for a night or two.”

You’d completely forgotten about Toms question.

“You know I couldn’t, sweetheart, not when you’re finally really starting to live. You have a boyfriend now! And a prince too, that’s incredible.”

You feel a pang of guilt, the product of lying to the women that raised you and only manage to smile awkwardly. So you turn to Tom, craning your neck.

“Oh hey, what did you want to ask me?” You divert attention from her recent comment, feeling a stomach ache coming on.

He blinks a few times, feeling your mums warm gaze on the pair of you. “There’s a gala… yeah, a gala next week and I was wondering if you’d like to come as my date–fake date of course!”

You smile and take hold of his clasped hands– it added to the act. “As long as Harrison does my outfit again then I’m game.”

A gala meant being out in public with Tom as his girlfriend.

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PART 5

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[echoflowertea]

Hi! I have an idea for a prompt! I know I'm a day late, so no rush whatsoever and feel free to take it or not :) It's for a Sans/Readr/Paps. Your sister and her husband have to be away for the weekend or smth and ask you to take care of their baby/toddler (whatever you think fits best for the story). So they take the child to your house where you live with the bros, but then you have to go out for a bit to take baby things, and they are left alone with the kid. They freak out, funny times ensue

here ya go, it’s my birthday so i figured i would give you the gift of a terribly overdue update!!!!

Pairing: Sans/Reader, Papyrus/Reader

Summary: A weekend with your nephew didn’t sound so bad to the skelebros. Maybe they should’ve read more parenting books.

“So you guys really don’t mind?”

“OF COURSE NOT. WE ARE EXCELLENT COMPANY.YOUR PRECIOUS NEPHEW WILL FINALLY KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE CARED FORPERFECTLY! WE HAVE PREPARED THE ULTIMATE DAY OF ULTIMATE FUN FOR SUCH ANOCCASION.”

You shot him a halfhearted smile. Papyrus’confidence almost always made you feel better, but you were a little nervousabout this. It wasn’t as if you didn’t trust the brothers, but they could be alittle…eccentric. As far as you knew, neither of them were well-versed incaring for a child, let alone a human one. Both were still vastly impressed anddisgusted with your bodily functions, which you could control, so having anunpredictable toddler around the house for the day seemed like…

“heh, don’t stress yourself so much. we gotthis.”

You observed them. Papyrus had on his childsafety gear prepped, which included taping a lot of pillows to his body so noneof his joints would end up hurting anyone. Because the brothers were…literallyskeletons, they had some parts that jutted out and could poke or stab if youweren’t careful enough. Papyrus would dress himself up in attire that spokevolumes about how gently he was going to treat this kid.

“Awesome. Thanks, guys. I know that this iskind of last minute.”

Your nephew was supposed to come by nextweek, but his mom and dad had some major things come up. Some business tripsgot moved around, some flights cancelled, and you were their last hope. Youdidn’t mind so much, but you were going to run it by your boyfriends first. Thiswas a relationship founded on open and honest communication, after all.

“SO WHEN SHOULD WE EXPECT HIM TO ARRIVE?”

You glanced at the clock. “In a few hours.When they get here, I’ll introduce you.”

Sans grinned and shoved his hands in hispockets, the pinpricks of light in his sockets flaring to life. “we’re gonnahave lots of fun.”

“You’d better not corrupt my nephew, Sans.If he learns a pun from you, I’m breaking up with you.”

“heh heh heh.”

In the short time before your nephew wasdropped off, you and Papyrus perused through the house to make sure everythingdangerous was put away. Anything knee-high was blocked off or sealed up.Papyrus was the one who crawled around on his hands and knees to make sure youdidn’t miss anything, while Sans’ idea of helping was to give half-assed wordsof encouragement from the living room couch.

The doorbell rang and you did your best tobrush the dust bunnies out of your hair before you answered. Sans beat you toit, having shuffled over clad in his signature slippers and that harmless smileon his face.

Your sister looked down at him and inhaledsharply, a little baffled at his presence. She had only ever seen him get upfrom the couch to his seat at the dining table when they stopped by for dinner,so it must’ve been a shock to see him up and about.

“Hi, Sans.”

“heya. c'mon in.”

Your sister paused and glanced over hershoulder. From this angle, you could see a pair of small, chubby hands wrappedaround her leg.

“Sweetie, it’s okay.” She bent down toscoop him up and he clung to her upper half, squeezing tight and burying hisface in the crook of her neck. “Sorry, guys. He just woke up from a nap so he’skind of grumpy.”

“He’s also never seen the new house before.Or met the skelebros,” you ventured. “Sans, Papyrus, this is Moo.”

“MOO?”

The toddler glanced up with shining eyes atthe sound of his name. On top of his head was a spotted, black-and-white capcomplete with floppy ears and tiny horns.

“He likes cows.”

“oh my god.” Sans succeeded in holding inhis laughter.

His mom and dad came in for just a fewminutes. They’d done their best to tell Moo that he would be staying with you,and considering you were his favorite aunt, he was totally cool with that. Butthe two strangers were still a little bit of an unknown for him, so he stuck tohis mom’s side the entire time.

“He should be okay until dinner. I’ve got abunch of spare clothes for him just in case he has an accident, but he shouldtell you when he needs to go.”

“You’re potty-trained, Moo? You’re such abig boy!”

He nodded and took a step away from hismom. The both of you continued to chat while Moo decided to explore the rest ofthe house on his own. His bare feet resting along the hardwood floors, hesquatted down to inspect a pair of shiny sneakers that belonged to none otherthan Papyrus himself.

“HELLO! I SEE YOU’VE SPOTTED MY SHOES!WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY THEM ON?”

Moo plopped down in response. Papyrus washappy to join him on the floor. Instead of tearing his shoes off, he insteadpulled apart the laces and loosened them up enough for the canvas material tostretch out.

Papyrus tore them off one by one andgrinned. “THERE WE GO, AND HERE YOU ARE. GIVE THEM A TRY.”

Moo looked down at his feet and raised aleg up.

“think he wants you to put ‘em on, bro.”

“OH!!! OF COURSE. HOW SILLY OF ME. HERE YOUARE, KING MOO. THE MOST DELICATE OF SLIPPERS TO ADORN YOUR FEET.”

You had to admit, it was adorable as hell.He and Papyrus seemed to be okay with each other. And although Sans didn’t wantto admit it, he was keeping an eyesocket on both of them to make sure thatnothing happened. If anything, it was more of a precaution for what-ifs ratherthan just him being overprotective. Because, like you said, kids were wildsometimes and could snap at any moment.

Proud of his new shoes, Moo did his best topush himself up and balance despite his feet being wayyy too small inside.Papyrus kept a gentle hand on his back while he flopped on over to his parentsto show them what he’d done.

“Oh, Moo! They look great on you!”

He beamed, proud of his work. “Mama! Apitcher!”

She fished out her phone and snapped one ofhim. He stretched out to grab it before she could even bend down to show him,marveling at the screen and swiping left and right. How kids adapted so quicklyto technology these days was beyond you.

It only took a few more minutes before hisparents left. You kissed your sister on the cheek and saw her off, promisingthat Moo would have a great time with you and the bros.

Well. Unfortunately, it looked like the onething your sister forgot to pack were snacks.

You thought you would be prepared for thiskinda thing. But after rushing to the kitchen once Moo started going on aboutwanting his favorite juice – pear, as it was – you realized that none of whatyou bought earlier in the week was going to suffice. In fact…as you rummagedthrough the empty boxes of cereal stuffed in the cabinets, you realized thatyou were completely cleaned out. What the hell!

“Sans, where are the fruit snacks in theshape of animals?”

“the frooty tooties? ate ‘em.”

“MORE LIKE HE CHEWED THEM UP UNTIL THEYWERE SQUISHY AND THEN USED THEM AS POSTER PUTTY TO HANG HIS NEW BLUEPRINTS UP!”

“Please tell me that’s a lie.”

“that’s a lie.”

“WAIT. HIS STATEMENT IS A LIE. BUT IF HE’SLYING ABOUT LYING, THEN DOES THAT MAKE IT A TRUTH?”

“Papyrus, no.”

“yes.”

“WHO DO I BELIEVE???”

You knew that you had to go out and getsome more age-appropriate snacks. Papyrus’ bone-shaped crackers were not goingto be a good combo for a kid who would’ve shoved as many as he could’ve downhis throat. That and the recipe was specifically made for making sure that theskeletons were calcified all to hell, which might’ve been a little weird tofeed a human child. Who knew what kind of repercussions would come out of that.

“Moo, follow me for a sec, okay?” You tookhim by the hoof – err, hand – and led him to the living room. He was alreadybouncing and looked restless. You had no clue when his last meal or snack was,but you weren’t ready to deal with the aftermath just yet.

It was kind of a crappy thing to do, butyou needed some time to talk to the boys in private. So you flicked on the TVand let him busy himself with the mindless chatter of some educationalcartoons.

“Okay, guys. We need a game plan.”

“EXCELLENT. I’LL GRAB MY JOURNAL. ONEMOMENT!” Papyrus rushed out of the room.

Every week Papyrus would pick his best mealfrom an array of dishes he cooked over the week, take about a day to create aphotorealistic painting of it, and then put it on the wall to cover a wall safefull of his most precious treasures. The safe was your idea, so that the dogsnooping around wouldn’t get into his figurines any more. Sans was the one whosuggested switching out the cover so people wouldn’t get suspicious. Why thatseemed logical, you would never know.

After snatching the book, Papyrus returnedto the kitchen for your huddle. He was focused, pen in his gloved hand,eyesockets narrowed, ready to strike the page with copious notes andillustrations.

“whaddid you wanna talk about, babe?”

“Moo needs snacks, since you so graciouslydecided to relieve him of those.”

“yer welcome.”

You sniffed. “Anyways, I need you guys torun to the store and pick him up some stuff. I’ll keep an eye on him here whileyou’re gone.”

“OF COURSE. BRILLIANT. I WOULD EXPECTNOTHING LESS FROM MY OTHER HALF.” Papyrus dotted his i’s and crossed his t’s,his careful penmanship a marvel even from all the way where you stood. “I, FORONE, AM GLAD TO EXPLORE THE BELLY OF THE BEAST OTHERWISE KNOWN AS SOOPERSAVERS!THEY EVEN HAVE THEIR OWN SPICE AISLE. HOW EXCITING.”

“sure, we’ll get in and out in under twentyminutes.” Sans winked.

That mischievous look on his face wasenough to put a wrench in your plans. “Okay, wait a second. I think I decidedtoo fast. Papyrus, we can’t trust Sans to go with anyone to the store. Rememberlast time? He locked you in the freezer for an hour.”

Papyrus gasped. “OH, NO. I HAD ALMOSTFORGOTTEN THOSE TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE MEMORIES!!! THE LOOK OF ABSOLUTE CONTEMPT ONTHE CARTOON COWS’ FACES AS I RESTED AMONG THE DAIRY. THEY SILENTLY JUDGED MYBONE DENSITY AND TEMPTED ME WITH WHISPERS OF CALCIUM INFUSED DRINKS!!!”

Sans kept his downright devilish grin,causing a sweat to bead on his brother’s forehead.

“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, SANS.”

“well, you n’ me could go.” Sans swunghimself up on the kitchen counter. You weren’t sure how he managed to do thatgiven he was short as hell, but it was best not to question him and his casualabuse of physics. “my bro could stay here with the kid, and you’d make sure iwas on my best behavior.”

“HMM, TRUE. THOUGH THAT WOULD LEAVE ME ATQUITE THE DISADVANTAGE, AS MOST OF MY ACTIVITIES REQUIRE THREE PEOPLE! WE ARETRYING TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION ON MOO, SANS.”

“That and we would never get anythingdone.” You left it at that. You weren’t going to sit there and give him thesatisfaction of mentioning what happened on June 15th. You still hada scar in the shape of a bite mark that refused to go away, no thanks to him.

“WELL, WE COULD LEAVE SANS HERE ALONE ANDDO THE SHOPPING BY OURSELVES.”

You and Papyrus exchanged looks, then burstout laughing. Yeah, right. The entire house would be in shambles by the timeyou got back.

“hey, i resent that…you’re completelyright.”

You snorted. “Okay, so that’s one moreoption down. I guess this leaves one solution. Papyrus, Sans….are you two okayto stay here and watch Moo by yourselves for about an hour?”

Papyrus was quick to agree. Sans shruggedit off.

“WITH MY FAMILIARITY OF THE HOUSE, I WILL HAVENO TROUBLE DEFENDING MYSELF FROM SANS’ PRANKS. AND WE WILL SURELY BE ABLE TOCOMPLETE AT LEAST THREE PUZZLES WITH ALL OF US PARTICIPATING.”

“you gonna be ok buying groceries byyourself, babe?”

“I should be good. I’m more concerned aboutyou guys. But if you’re sure you can handle it, then I would really, reallyappreciate it.”

They both perked up. Any mention of yourapproval sent a pleasant shiver through their bones. Mostly because they lovedyou so much that making you happy was probably one of the only goals theyshared in life. (That and making sure they never missed an episode of the showall of you adored: Tales of the Aboveground, where monsters from all overshared their experiences of living on the surface.)

“THEN IT’S SETTLED. GOODBYE! WE WILL SEEYOU IN A BIT!”

“Hey, wait—”

You barely had a chance to get another wordout before you were shoved outside the front door, your bag magicallypositioned on your shoulder and keys around your fingers. You wanted to givethem some last minute advice, but the absolute Determination on their facesspoke volumes about their commitment to this. They would get through themorning without you and they weren’t going to take no for an answer.

Papyrus made sure to lock the door with aquick flick of his wrist, turning the small button on the knob despite yourprotests from outside. He sniffled.

“NYOO HOO HOO. I HATE TO LEAVE HER ON OURDOORSTEP. BUT WE HAVE TO BE STRONG.”

“it’s ok.”

“YOU’RE RIGHT. MOO NEEDS US.” Papyrus stoodto his full height and narrowed his eyes. “NOW…WHERE IS HE?”

Both paled.

“SANS ARE YOU TELLING ME WE ARE THIRTY-FIVESECONDS INTO OUR DEBUT AS BABYSITTERS AND WE HAVE LOST THE CHILD???”

“relax, bro. he’s gotta be somewhere in thehouse.”

Both went silent for any clues. Aside fromthe gentle trickling of water upstairs, it was relatively peaceful.

Wait…

Trickling water?!

“THE BATHROOM! SANS!!!”

“what about it?”

“HE’S IN THERE! STOP TRYING TO DISTRACT ME!LET’S GO!!!”

Papyrus put his gloved hand on the railingand propelled himself upward the long flight of stairs, Sans trailing behind.

The closer they got to the top, the louderthe noises became. Splashing and giggles. There were a million things thatcould’ve gone wrong when they opened the door, ninety-nine percent of which youwould probably dump them for. And they weren’t going to let that happen.  

“MOO? ARE YOU IN THERE? I WOULD LIKE TOCOME IN AND JOIN YOU!”

Papyrus jiggled the doorknob.

Locked.

“aw, shit.”

“SANS! WHAT DO WE DO?! WE HAVE NO ACCESS TOHIM! HE COULD BE DOING TERRIBLE THINGS IN THERE!”

“relax, bro. we made sure to turn off thewater for the tub. we put on the special seat for the toilet, and all themedications are locked up. there’s nothin’ he could do from his height.”

At that perfect moment, both brotherslooked down to see their feet sinking into a puddle of water creeping out fromunder the door.

Sans started to sweat.

“WELL, LOOKS LIKE THIS IS A JOB FOR MYIMMEASURABLE STRENGTH. STAND BACK, SANS!”

Papyrus readied himself at the door. Thesheer power of his love for you would surely get him through.

“ONE….” He would be a hero!

“TWO…” You would be so impressed with histoddler caring skills!

“THREE!”

He went for a running start and the dooropened.

“GGAAAAAAKKK!”

He dug his heels into the floor and bracedhimself for impact, doing his very best to stop his body from launching intothe room. All he could see was a hundred scenarios that ended up in someonebeing injured, from a minor scrape to complete and utter annihilation. Maybe hewas spending too much time with Undyne after all. His mind was getting to befar more dramatic than he would’ve liked for such a delicate situation.

As he poured his last ounce of strengthinto stopping dead in his tracks, the tip of his shoe caught on the rug Sansinsisted that they place right outside the bathroom. The gross, musty one hepicked up from a garage sale because he thought it was “a bargain”. Yeah, a bigpile of disgustingness and a cheesy line! What kind of pun was, “make some roomfor dessert”???

Papyrus teetered forwards and went crashingdown onto the floor. It didn’t hurt, but it was unpleasant to feel the stifftufts of the rug’s fabric scraping against his bones. Dazed, he lifted his headjust high enough to see the damage.

Moo had somehow tipped the trashcan overand stood up high enough for him to reach over to the sink. He had taken giantwads of toilet paper, coated them in water and soap, and then slapped the mushymass all over the bathroom. On Papyrus self-portrait made of dry pasta. Onthe cute little figurines that you swore brought life to the place. And even onSans’ joke book that had at least fifty unsanitary references!

With his consciousness fading and lastmortified look, Moo took the toilet brush and brought it up to his mouth tosniff it.

Sans knew that his brother would be okay,but it was still hilarious to see him faint like that. He mostly did it when heoverloaded on sensory things, which happened more often when Papyrus didn’thave his gloves on. But today it might’ve just been a combination of all newthings plus the pretty disgusting state the bathroom was in.

Sans couldn’t be prouder of the little guy.Already destroying the grossest room in the entire house. Man, humans werefascinating already with their digestive systems, but all the tools and suchused to help keep things civilized was enough to make him crack up. Seeing alittle kid completely oblivious toward all of that and dismantling the entirepolite system they had going on was amazing.

“kid, i think we’re gonna get along.”

He stuck his hand out, and was promptlygiven a slimy wad of tissue covered in snot.

“oh, man. that’s disgusting. i love it.”

Papyrus stirred from his unscheduled nap.He felt a little groggy, but the anxiety from before he passed out lingeredlong enough for him to snap back to reality. He sat up and rubbed at hiseyesockets.

“SANS? MOO? ARE YOU BOTH HERE?”

The whole bathroom was in disarray. Papyruscouldn’t bear to look! He reached for the door handle and made sure he didn’thave to subject his eyes to any more torture.

Papyrus happened to glance down at hischest while he pulled himself up from the floor. Pinned to his chest, along thepillow armor that had been fitted on him somehow, was a simple note.

countto ten, then see if you can find us

“I AM NOT PLAYING THIS GAME!” he shouted. “OH,WAIT. THERE IS ANOTHER MESSAGE WRITTEN ON THE BACK OF THE PAPER.” He turned itover.

yougotta. if you’re still not convinced, flip me over again

“WHAT!!!” Papyrus did as he was told.

wait,how does this paper have three sides? anyway, if you don’t do it i’ll trashyour room. love, your bro

“I HATE THIS!!!!” And, against his betterjudgment… “ONE, TWO, THREE…”

After ten agonizing seconds, Papyrus madehis way downstairs. He found a trail of flour leading to the backdoor, at leastfive toys strewn across the floor, some plastic utensils wedged between thecouch cushions, and the phone was off the hook with someone shouting on theother line.

“HELLO?” Papyrus scrambled for the phone,managing to wrestle it up to his face despite the long retro cord being tangledup in knots. “YOU HAVE REACHED THE HOME OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HIS EQUALLY GREATLADY, AND ONE LAZY BROTHER, HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU?”

“Paps? It’s me. Is everything okay?”

His breath caught in his throat. Somehow. “AH!!!YES, EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT!” He started to sweat. “HOW IS THE STORE? HAVEYOU FOUND PRODUCTS AT REASONABLE AND UNBEATABLE PRICES?”

“I think so. I’m in line right now, butthere’s only one cashier and he looked like a new hire. He’s paging the emptystore for someone to do a price check on Mettamuffins. Oh my god. Now he’spanicking.”

“THIS STORY IS INCREDIBLY INTERESTING ANDDOWNRIGHT SCANDALOUS, BUT I HAVE SOME…THINGS…TO ATTEND TO.”

“Hmm. Are you sure you’re doing okay?”

He nearly cracked, but didn’t. “OF COURSEWE AM! I MEAN, OF COURSE I ARE! I WILL JUST HAVE TO MAKE SURE I CLEAN UP SOMEOF OUR…ACTIVITIES! GOOD LUCK ON CHECKING OUT YOUR ITEMS! SMOOCH!!!”

He hung up and heard a quiet snicker in theroom.

“SANS, I KNOW YOU’RE IN HERE. THIS CHILD’SPRESENCE HAS MADE YOU EVEN MORE…CHILDISH!!! PLEASE COME OUT OF HIDING, SHE ISCOMING BACK SOON AS WE NEED TO FIX THIS PLACE UP!”

No answer.

Papyrus crossed his arms and thought deeplyon where his brother would be hiding. His favorite spot to snooze in as of latewas the closet near the front door. But it didn’t look like that side of thehouse had been touched just yet. Sans also liked to roll under the couch andsleep under the comfortable weight of the cushions, but when he did that, healmost always managed to kick one slipper off. No sign of that.

As he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, a smalldroplet of liquid splashed against the top of his skull.

“…SANS!!!”

“heh heh. ya got me.”

Papyrus looked up and put his hands on hiships. Sans had somehow crawled up to the corner of the ceiling and was wedgedup there.

“WHERE IS MOO?”

“around here. told him to hide.”

“WE NEED TO BE WATCHING HIM!”

Sans slipped down the length of the wallwithout batting an eye. “ok, ok. i told him to hide in my room. let’s check itout.”

The trek toward the brothers’ bedrooms waslong and arduous, filled with slick spots of melting sticks of butter and granola.A gross combination, and Papyrus wasn’t even sure how he managed to get accessto more food. So much for locking everything up. But despite the harsh terrain,both brothers persisted until they reached Sans’ safe haven.

“hey, bro. what’re you doing? knock first.”

“THERE IS NO TIME FOR FORMALITIES. MOO, IAM COMING IN!”

The stench was unbearable. Dirty clotheslying haphazardly on the floor. A lampshade on the floor. Cloudy test tubesstacked on top of each other. Crumpled bedsheets, pillows stained with coffeeand tea, a plate caked with mysterious gray mold. The entire place looked likeit had seen the wrath of a certain three-year-old.

“everythin’ looks normal to me.”

“OH MY GOD. THE SMELL IS EVEN WORSE THAN ITWAS THIS MORNING!”

“oh yeah. i forgot to put this back in thefridge.” Sans picked up a cup of milk that already started to bubble in the smoldering,stuffy summer heat. “was gonna see if i could ferment this, but figured it’d bebetter to start another day.”

“DO YOU SEE HIM?”

“nope. call him.”

“MOOOOOOO!”

Sans’ eyesockets crinkled. “bro, are youpart cow?”

“NO.”

“because that impression was moo-ving.”

“STOP THIS.”

Then they heard it. A gasp. It was faint,but it was there.

“IS THAT…THE ATTIC???”

How did one child manage to maneuver aroundso easily? Humans were so tenacious! Neither of them could imagine raising oneof their own if they were all like this!

“MOOOOOO!”

“moooo.”

It was dark. How did he even navigate? Whenyou moved in with the brothers, there was so much extra stuff that it was allshoved up here. You and Sans promised to sort through it, but every time youwere both up here at the same time, you ended up just making a giant mess andleaving it worse off than when you came.

Papyrus nearly tripped over a giant chestfull of early courting gifts from him. You said they needed to be kept in asafe place, and that they were priceless, so they had to be stored away. Hebelieved you wholeheartedly, because you had wrapped them up in the softestblankets to shield them from dust and time. That and he caught you sneaking uphere sometimes just to admire them.

“bro, did you hear that?”

“HEAR WHAT?”

Sans froze. His eyesockets went dark.

“we’ve been cornered.”

Jumping out from the shadows, fingerssplayed and mouth opened wide, was Moo.

“Raaaah!”

Both of the brothers were surprised, butdid their best not to laugh. A tiny human in a cow costume roaring at them likea dinosaur was…probably the best thing they’d seen in weeks. It didn’t helpthat Moo charged toward them, bending down on all fours, the tiny tail sewn onhis backside flapping with every bounce toward them.

“PLEASE DON’T HURT US!” Papyrus cried.

But it was too late. Moo had conquered themboth, crawling on top of their toppled bodies and declaring himself as thewinner with a loud, long roar.

“alright, kiddo. let’s get you backdownstairs.” Sans plucked him off his chest and tucked him under an arm. “yougave us a big scare.”

“YOU COULD HAVE HURT YOURSELF…” Papyrusbegan. But after seeing the near teary look in Moo’s eyes, he recanted. “YOUWERE VERY BRAVE TO COME UP HERE BY YOURSELF. BUT NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD PLAY NEARUS, OKAY? WE WANT TO SEE MOO THE DINOSAUR UP CLOSE!”

All three of them headed back to the livingroom where Moo’s giant bag still sat untouched.

“I HAVE A COLORING BOOK I THINK YOU WOULDLIKE.”

“Crayons, please!”

“nice job, kid. use yer manners and you’llget far.”

“I SHOULD WASH HIS CLOTHING IN A FEW HOURS.HE LOOKS STICKY. OR IS THAT NORMAL FOR HIS AGE?”

Everything was okay after that. Some minorincidents – like Moo breaking a crayon and then throwing a tantrum despitebeing given the exact same color to use instead. The brothers had to muster up alltheir patience to deal with his screams and flailing limbs, but they managed toget him to stop wailing after a while.

In the end, the house was completelytrashed, but everyone was safe and sound.

You parked the car in the driveway andrummaged through the bag, grabbing a piece of candy to shove in your mouth. Ugh.What was supposed to be a quick trip to the store ended up being the biggestnightmare of your life. Long lines, rude customers, unorganized shelves, aclown blocking your nearest exit until you donated to his law school fund, andeven a broken traffic light that resulted in a twenty-minute detour through afuneral motorcade.

Needless to say, you were relieved to behome.

After gathering everything in your arms,you headed to the door. A smarter person would’ve called the brothers to letthem know that you were here, but you were so exhausted that the thought nevereven crossed your mind.

Knock. Knock.

“who’s there?”

“Sans.”

“sans who?”

“Sans, please let me in, my arms are goingnumb!”

“i don’t get it.”

“PERHAPS THE HUMOR LIES IN THE REALISM.”

“oh, ok.”

You heard him unlatch the door and youpractically burst in. “Someone please help me get these to the kitchen!”

Papyrus did more than that. He simplyscooped you up, bags and all, so that you were no longer crumbling under theircrushing weight. You were relieved to receive help, but gosh, it did bring a littlecolor to your cheeks when he easily carted you around like that.

He set you down in the middle of thekitchen. Without hesitation, you made your way into the fridge and startedshoving all sorts of snacks inside.

“So? How did it go, guys?”

Sans grinned. “eh, so boring.”

“What, really?”

“IT WAS…NEW.”

You peered over the fridge door. “I don’tknow if I like the sound of that. Where’s Moo?”

“NAPPING ON THE COUCH.”

“Wait, you guys actually got him to sleep?”

“he was kinda giving us a run for ourmoney, so it’s nice he decided to help us out with that.”

“Oh, no. Was he a handful?”

“heh. you decide.”

You blinked and stepped away from yourlittle comfort zone, only to fully drink in how destroyed the house was.

Yeah, it looked like a toddler had beenthrough here, all right. Everyone’s possessions poked and prodded. Annoying Dogeven had a balloon strapped to its tail, trying its best to run away from it asit hovered menacingly over its back. The walls had some minor scribbles hereand there, the carpet had splotches of (what you hoped was washable) paint,there were scraps of paper and a pair of kid scissors scattered along thefloor, and even Moo’s stuffed cow was completely soaked.

“Do I want to know?”

“not really.”

“WE HAD FUN, THOUGH.”

You sighed, relieved, and smiled at them.Your chest even felt a little tight. Ew, you were about to get sappy on them.Sugar overload.

“Thanks, guys. I’m really glad.”

“NOW YOU CAN HELP US WATCH OVER MOO FOR THEREST OF THE DAY!”

“yep.” Munch. “might as well include you onthe fun. ‘sides, you haven’t even seen how he pronounced the word ‘fantastic’.”Swallow.

“…why would he even say that in the firstplace?” you ventured. “Wait, never mind. The point is. You two were a hugehelp. I couldn’t have done this without you, and…I’m really looking forward tothe rest of Moo’s visit if I have both of you here with me.”

Papyrus’ eyesockets sparkled. Sans wasembarrassed, but shot you a cheesy grin anyway.

“Alright, when he wakes up, I’ll make him asnack plate. Sans, can you stop eating for a sec and hand me the FrootyTooties?”

“uh…whoops.”

[snowdice]

Goblin Brain Study Session Fic 1 [Day 46]

Because I don’t want to just have walls of text for my Goblin Brain Study Session posts, I’m separating them by days. If you want to read the previous chapters, click the links below. Chapter 17 and what’s done of Chapter 18 is under the cut.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16  My Master Post

See this post for more details and feel free to send me asks to keep me going! It’s been a lot of fun so far! I will reblog this post with the story as I write them today. Also, if you’re interesting, don’t forget that I am constantly updating the timeline as I write. :)

I am still very tired and do not want to study today, but I need to. Ugh.

Chapter 17

“Aw, come on kiddo,” Patton beseeched doing his absolutely best not to laugh at the adorable discontent expression on Anxiety’s face.

“You murdered all of my cows,” the boy grumbled. “All of them.”

Patton did giggle then. “That’s the game.”

“You knew!” Anxiety insisted. “You knew the cemetery was there, didn’t you? You’re familiar with this highway. That’s why you let me take the 150 cows you cheater.”

Patton didn’t bother to deny it. “All’s fair,” he said instead.

“You’re the worst,” Anxiety shot back. “Why don’t we play a game I can win.”

“Like what?” Patton asked, curious.

“Like…” he said. “Like, let’s play a game where whoever’s youngest wins.”

 Patton chuckled. “Well I guess you’ve got me beat there.”

“Or a contest to see who has the straightest hair.”

“Sounds like a fun game, but we’d have to wash both our hair just to make sure neither of us are cheating.”

There was a pause and Patton glanced over at him.

“Aw!” he cooed. “Do you secretly have curly hair too?”

Anxiety groaned.

“That’s adorable!”

“Is not,” he grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. “It ruins my aesthetic.”

“Aw, stop being so grumpy, kiddo.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t murdered all of my cows.”

“I sure did kill the moo-d, huh?”

 Anxiety groaned. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“…Carjac-”

“I know, I know,” Anxiety huffed. Patton smiled over at him and reached over to ruffle his hair. “Ugh, stop! No!”

“I want to see the curls!” Patton teased as Anxiety batted him away.

“You’re lucky I don’t have the god damned knife.”

“Excuse me, was that a bad word Mister?”

“Ugh,” Anxiety groaned.

“I will turn this car around,” Patton threatened.

“Oh, yeah,” Anxiety said. “That’s what would make you stop driving. Silly me. I’ll try not to use the grown-up words.”

“See that you don’t.” Anxiety just shook his head and turned the radio up a bit to ignore him.

 “The cows have been cleared up,” Anxiety noted.

Patton hummed. “Do you want to get on the interstate again?” he asked. “It would be about 10 minutes faster and I’m sure if anyone was tracking us, we lost them in all of that.”

“Sure,” he agreed. “I don’t see why not.” Patton nodded and took the next turn back onto the familiar interstate.

“So,” Patton hedged once they were back on the main road. “We’ll be there soon. What are your plans once we get there? Nothing in particular,” he rushed to say when he saw the kid frowning. He was a secretive little thing. “Just, what do you want me to do?”

 “Oh, um,” he said, playing with the edges of his hoodie sleeve. “I don’t know.” He paused. “You can leave if you want.”

A smile flickered across Patton’s face. Not likely kid. “Well, I’m not going to leave at least until I make sure you’re with someone.”

“Thanks,” Anxiety said softly.

“I’m with you all the way Anxiety.”

“I still don’t understand you at all.” Patton just shrugged and smiled. “Also, you can call me Vee.”

“Ooo a partial name,” Patton said. “I’m moving up in your esteem.”

“I didn’t say that,” Vee snapped back. “My name might be Bob for all you know.”

“Right,” Patton agreed. “Of course. Bob. My bad.”

 That caused Vee to smile though he seemed to be fighting it. After a few moments, the smile faded, and he started playing with the strings on his hoodie. “You’ve got to get back to your family though, eventually,” he said.

Patton shrugged, not mentioning the fact that they were literally driving towards his brother this very second. “They’re all adults who can more than handle themselves. My brother’s older than me and the twins have him. You need me a bit more right now.”

Vee thought for a moment, still rubbing his fingers over the frayed edge of the hoodie string. “I have an older brother,” he offered.

 “Oh?” Patton asked.

“I tried to call him earlier after my uncle,” Vee said. “He didn’t pick up.”

“Well, I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation for that, just like with your uncle.”

Vee bit his lip. “I don’t know if…” he said, “if he’d be on my side in this or not.”

“What do you mean?”

Vee looked away out the window. “Our mom’s the one who killed my dad,” he said quietly.

“Oh, honey,” Patton said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“So, I don’t know if my brother would side with her or not. I don’t want to think he’d hand me over to her if I went to him, but…”

 Poor kiddo, Patton thought. He wished he could say with certainty that his brother wouldn’t do something like that, but Patton didn’t know enough about him to know for certain. He hoped not. “I’ll help you figure it all out,” Patton promised. “I’ll make sure you don’t have to go with your mom.”

Vee snorted. “I don’t know what you can do, but thanks for the sentiment.”

“Oh,” Patton said. “I think I could do a thing or two.”

“Sorry,” Vee said dryly, “but your reaction to a carjacking was to get me ice cream.”

Patton laughed lightly. “Good point.”

 “I really don’t want to go with my mom, but I don’t think the cops would listen to me,” Vee said. “She’s technically my mom even though I’ve never even spent the night at her house. Does this make her my legal guardian now?”

“If she’s the one who killed your father, I doubt people would let you go with her.”

“You don’t know mom,” Vee mumbled. “I’m sure no one will even think to try to arrest her for that, let alone convict her. Would they let my uncle be my guardian even if she isn’t arrested?”

“They’d be willing to do that I’m sure. Especially since you’re already 15, anyone would listen to your opinion on where you live.”

 Vee look at least a bit relieved at that. “So, you like your uncle then?” Patton asked.

“He’s great,” Vee said. “He lived with us when I was really little. He always made me eat my vegetables and helps me out when I’m anxious. He’s a psychiatrist so he knows his stuff.”

“I have a friend whose brother is a psychiatrist,” Patton said. “I’ve never met him, but Logan sends people to him when they need mental health care. It’s a big help for a lot of them.”

“Yeah,” Vee agreed. “It wouldn’t be too bad living with him. I guess.”

 “Well I’ll make sure you end up with him and not your mom, okay?”

“Sure,” Vee replied.

Patton shot him a half smile and they continued driving for a few minutes before he exited the interstate. “We’re almost there” he told Vee.

Vee bit his lip. “I hope this wasn’t a stupid idea…” he said.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s fine,” Patton said. He flipped a switch on near his steering wheel that would open the gate for them a few seconds before said gate came into view. He drove up the driveway and chose to park in front of the factory building instead of trying to park in the underground parking garage which would certainly freak Vee out.

 “Just looks like a creepy abandoned factory,” Vee commented, eyeing the old concrete building with its boarded over windows. “It’s almost too perfectly abandoned,” he said, eyes narrowed. Smart boy.

“Ready?” Patton asked.

Vee still looked nervous, but he nodded determinedly after a moment and exited the car. Patton followed him. He let Vee lead the way up the gravel path to the entrance of the building. He studied the door for a couple of minutes and then pushed it slowly open. Patton was sure at this point that someone downstairs had probably noticed them and would come up to greet them soon.

 Vee was looking around himself with suspicious eyes. “Okay,” he said. “What do we do now?”

“Probably just wait to see if anyone comes to meet us,” Patton said.

Vee started poking around a bit. “It’s pretty clean for an abandoned factory,” he said.

“Mmhmm,” Patton replied.

He considered a couple of panels near the door and Patton observed him, curious about what he’d do. He made a startled noise when one of the panels came off. “Oops,” he said. He peered into the hole he’d just made. “Well… that’s not good. Whoever put that camera there is probably not going to be happy with me.”

 Patton had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. He would not.

Vee set the broken panel back against the wall. It hung off of it awkwardly. “At least we know there really is someone here and it’s not just an abandoned factory.”

“That is good,” Patton agreed. Just then there was a soft ding which Patton identified as the hidden elevator the room over.

Vee’s head shot up to look in the direction of the sound, and the boy shuffled closer to Patton.

Logan himself rounded the corner after a moment and looked over at them with his lips pursed and looking especially cross. “How is it,” he asked, “that you always do exactly what I need you to do in the most irritating and inconvenient way possible?”

  Chapter 18

Janus had a couple of seconds to regret every decision he’d made in the past few hours before Roman’s car hit the water. He’d managed to brace himself enough to not go flying into the front seat, but he still was jerked around by the impact. The airbags in front went off when they hit which was just his luck, and the car immediately began to fill up with water.

Roman and Remus were already struggling to get the airbags out of their way and Remus reached over to release Roman’s seatbelt since he hadn’t been restrained himself. Janus jerked over towards the window to try to roll it down.

 It rolled down about 1/8th of the way before the automatic system gave out and the window got stuck. Janus took a split second before he dove for Remus’s bag and grabbed out a hammer and swung at the window, shattering it in two goes.

Roman and Remus had already noticed the broken open window, and so Janus went ahead and pushed himself out of the window and towards the surface. He immediately noticed that there was a figure swimming towards him through the water and tensed for a fight assuming it was one of the people who had been chasing him.

 He struck out with a fist, still half blinded by the water in his eyes. There was a started yelp as he felt cartilage snap under his fist. “Hey! Fuck!” the figure said in response. “Janus!”

Janus blinked the water out of his eyes as the familiar, if slightly distorted voice sunk in. “Lena?” Janus asked as Remus popped his head out of the water next to him. She glared at him, holding her nose with one hand and treading water with the other. “Shit, sorry.” Remus seemed to notice what was happening and swam forward to give her a bit of support.

 Roman popped up, sputtering a moment later and smacked Janus across the face.

“Karma,” Lena spat.

“How are you even here?” Janus asked, rubbing his nose.

“Everyone went dark and Logan sent us to go figure out what was going on,” she explained. “Then we saw Roman’s car in a high-speed chase and followed you.”

“Speaking of!” Some other guy’s voice called from a few feet away. “Can I get a bit of help?” One of the men from the other car had popped up out of the water and he was currently wrestling with him.

Remus stayed to help Lena out of the water, but Roman and Janus both swam over to help the guy with Lena drag the first guy from the other car and then the second one out of the water.

 “Fred,” the other man with Lena introduced himself while he and Janus trussed up the men from the other car.

“Janus,” Janus answered.

“I figured,” Fred replied.

Janus gave him a confused look.

“You were one of the names The Boss was angrily mumbling about this evening.”

“Yeah well Logan can shove it,” Janus grumbled.

Fred didn’t comment, instead he just stood up and looked at the two men tied up on the ground. “Well,” he said. “Lena’s car’s only a 5-seater. Guess you two are going in the trunk. Wanna help me out Janus?”

Janus and Fred hauled the two men into the trunk together despite their muffled protests and Fred slammed the trunk closed.