#but guess what! when you add emotional songs imma cry

[andi-o-geyser]

ok but why did i cry while watching matilda the musical 

[naldoreth]

So, top three songs that remind you of Elin & Legolas? ❤️

Thanks for the ask! I love it. So, first of all, a bit of explanation as to wtf Elin & Legolas is for those of you who don’t know. I’m writing a very lengthy, very slowburn fic Legolas x human OFC - yes, it’s got everything, it’s got “girl falls in Middle Earth”, it’s got “Tenth Walker”, it’s got dwarven culture and slowbuild and a lot of mutual pinning. So for this fic I have a Spotify playlist with, as of today, 40 songs on it that remind me of Elin and her relationship with Legolas, her journey through Middle Earth and her searching for home. But now, to the question in case: my top three songs for these two lovebirds. I have considered things carefully and, right now -this could change in the future as I expand the playlist- these are my fave songs, and I’ll explain WHY cause we’re here for the rant. 1. Young and beautiful - Lana del Rey Will you still love me When I’m no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me When I’ve got nothing but my aching soul? I know you will, I know you will I know that you will Will you still love me when I’m no longer beautiful? Dear lord, when I get to heaven Please let me bring my man When he comes tell me that you’ll let him in Father tell me if you can All that grace, all that body All that face, makes me wanna party He’s my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds So, I know this one is the most obvious for an elven/human couple, but it just fits so well. I can totally see Elin asking herself these same questions, having so many doubts about engaging in a relationship with Legolas ‘cause she knows she is gonna age and die in front of his eyes and he will remain young, beautiful… and heartbroken. The verse where she’s addressing God I think is specially heartbreaking, because in Tolkien legendarium elven and human souls don’t go to the same place. Elin and Legolas will never have the comfort of knowing that they will see each other again. In case you don’t know, the elvish fëa, their soul, goes to the Halls of Mandos when an elf dies and it rests there until the soul is healed and ready to be reborn. Then the elf will be born again (the canon differs between being reborn as a child that will gain their memories with time or just come back as the elf as they were before). Elves really don’t die unless they choose not to leave the Hall of Mandos or, in rare cases such as Arwen or Luthien, trade their inmortality completely. But it’s different with humans. Humans in Middle Earth die just as we do, and nobody knows where do their souls go or if they go somewhere. That is something only Eru Illúvatar knows and not even Mandos or any of the Valar have any clue. That is the Gift of Men. And Legolas and Elin are very aware of this. They know that the brief time of Elin’s life is ALL they have, and it breaks my heart just imagining Elin praying to Eru to let her be with him one more time, after her death. ‘Cause she forsook her time and her home to save Middle Earth and be with him, and she knows that she’ll die and that will leave a hole in Legolas’ heart taht will never heal. (I’ve made myself really sad writing this and I HAVE to add that since mortal people on Valinor do die, there will come a day when Legolas will also lose Gimli and I’m note sure that the poor thing will be able to recover. I can totally see Legolas choosing to die in Valinor and just staying in the Halls of Mandos, never returning to his hröa, his body, until the Dagor Dagorath, the Battle of all Battles. Imma gonna cry for a bit now, brb). 2. Home – Phillip Phillips Hold on, to me as we go As we roll down this unfamiliar road And although this wave is stringing us along Just know you're not alone 'Cause I'm going to make this place your home This second song is more about the theme of the whole fic than just their relationship, but I see it as Legolas talking to Elin. Elin comes from our world, but she doesn’t really leave anything behind – anything but her uncle and her job. She’s always lived in the same house, even after her parents passed away, and she’s always been kind of a loner. She’s got friends, sure, but she kind of lives her life just passing by, not really taking risks or doing the things she really longs for. She loves her home, but when she was younger she dreamt of living in the city. She just never left when her parents died, cause the house was all she had left from them. She loves to travel and dreamt of seeing the whole world, but then she was an orphan and had to manage college and work at the same time, so she chose to study from home. She just accepted what life threw at her and never tried to fight her fate. She complied, and was contented. But then she was pushed into Middle Earth, on a journey she didn’t want to take, and everything changed for her. She had no home. She had no way of knowing if she could ever go back to her world. Where does she really fit in Middle Earth? Where does she really fit in her life? Her disappearence barely had any effect on her time. Where is home for her? So, throughout the story she will struggle with these questions, this searching for belonging, and to her surprise she will find it in Legolas. His hand will be the hand showing her home, and he will try his best to make her feel like she belongs. Cause she does. 3. Stand by you – Rachel Platten. Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you Yeah, you're all I never knew I needed And the heart, sometimes it's unclear why it's beating And love, if your wings are broken We can brave through those emotions too 'Cause I'm gonna stand by you Oh, truth, I guess truth is what you believe in And faith, I think faith is helping to reason No, no, no, love, if your wings are broken Borrow mine so yours can open too 'Cause I'm gonna stand by you This last song kind of comprises the themes I’ve talked about in the others: death and belonging. It can be seen from both points of view, though I usually imagine is Elin who sings it (maybe ‘cause the singer is a woman). The War of the Ring is the hell they have to brave through and leaves them tired, broken and hurt – but they’re are gonna be there for each other, even when they know that, at the end of everything, Heaven is not something they can reach. They will power through the war, fight alongside one another, be each other wings and hands and eyes and, when it all ends, that’s all they will have left. Each other. Elin knows there’s no Valinor for her. Legolas knows it too. But their love will be their Heaven, if nothing else can be. They will stand by each other through hell, through heaven, through life and through death. If you're still reading after this long AF post and would like to check the playlist, here's a link! And, in case the fic caught someone's attention, here it is. This looong post talks about things that hasn't happened yet - but it's a Tenth Walker Legolas x OFC fic, so you could see them coming! Also, the fic is written in Spanish, sorry folks! Although I'm not completely against the idea of translating it to English someday, if there's demand.

[parks-involving-water]

Review: Midnight by Set It Off

Okay let's just get straight to it. Yall know I’m a slut for Set It Off. This is just gonna be me going in-depth into all of my favorite parts of the songs and lyrics. Les go

1. Killer In The Mirror

This has been a bop since DAY ONE are you kidding me????? The sampling? The sheer amount of fuck you energy? The fast part during the pre-chorus? The DROP for the chorus? Cody saying “knock ‘em all the FUCK out” adds 10 years to my lifespan every time I hear it.

Favorite Lyrics: Now I know, there’s no one I can trust I used to think there was Tell me that I’m cut throat- I think you got your eyes closed Feel the fear, and swallow back the tears Let weakness disappear There’s nobody but me here- the killer in the mirror

We been knew this shit goes hard NEXT

2. Hourglass

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW BAD THIS DESTROYED ME WHEN I FIRST HEARD IT. The fucking,,,, instrumental!!! The beat!!!! Cinematics is on the phone and she said this is it chief!!!! God!!! Like can we PLEASE talk about the nananas during the bridge?? It’s such a small thing but it adds so fuckin much to the song,,,, unbelievable

Favorite Lyrics: I'm falling through the hourglass And I don't think I'll ever make it back So I throw stones at walls I'll never climb Victim to the sands of time

This is also such like? Such a defining song for the sound of the whole album, if you think about it. Quality shit

3. Lonely Dance

ANOTHER one we already knew slaps. The guitar? The trumpet? Iconic. This one has such a fucking Vibe. Also???? So relatable. Cody came through with the social anxiety moods and I owe him my life for it.

Favorite Lyrics: Some days I’m up, some days I’m down Some days, the world is way too loud Some days my bed won't let me out But I’m okay with missin’ out on the social anxiety Out on the phony friends I don’t need So I just turn off my phone, turn on TV Cause solo’s the only way I can breathe

Okay a great song but OLD NEWS let’s get to that Fresh Content

4. Different Songs

Possibly the danciest song on this album. The fucking guitar riff and the bass? The melodies? The harmonizing in the bg of the pre-chorus and the bridge? It all blends together and it’s SUCH a bop. The most poppin song about falling out of love I’ve ever heard

Favorite Lyrics: We once called it love, devolved into lust Jealousy speaks out to silence the trust We temper our words 'cause we're scared of the truth Humming tunes that we can't get through

5. For You Forever

The instrumental in this one KILLS me. So do Cody’s vocals, honestly. He really poured his heart out into those “forever”s and you FEEL it. This one really hits me in the heart tbh. The whole theme of giving up on something that you want so bad is big oof

Favorite Lyrics: She said; “I won't wait for you forever, for you forever So, don't you say it's for the better, it's for the better 'Cause I can't take later than never, later than never No, I won't wait for you forever”

6. Dancing With The Devil

THIS SHIT IS SO BRUTAL. Like even the opening- the distorted vocals,,, god. And the lyrics! So fucking pissed off. Cody once again KILLS the delivery. I will never be over the emotion he puts into every song he sings. And when that hook hits the second time with his normal vocals and then the distorted version UNDERNEATH? Hits so hard. Don't even TALK to me about the rap part god. Also,,,, idk if this is about who I Think It’s About but like either way,,, go off sis

Favorite Lyrics: You try to act as if you're saving me But you wouldn't cut the rope if it was hanging me I'm sick of people saying what you sow you reap 'Cause I've been counting down the minutes of that, so to speak Think of all the hours and hours of grindin’ That would turn into sour findings As I wonder if our resigning is becoming the silver lining But I’m not a coward, I’m fighting Cause if they’re the meat, then I’m biting So go ahead, ignoring and smiling Cause I’m climbing til’ I let you know

7. Go To Bed Angry (Feat. Wayfarers)

This is! Such a good song, and I love the message. Like, settling issues instead of being passive aggressive or quietly angry. And it’s so nice to listen? Like everything feels so clean and leads into each other so well. Also!!! I’ve never listened to Wayfarers before but GOD the guest vocalist is AMAZING. Her and Cody’s voices harmonize so well. All in all a fuckin BOP

Favorite Lyrics: So don't you walk away from me Let's settle this, rather hear you scream Than whisper shit- there's no in-between 'Cause if we sleep in our feelings, we'll never start healing

8. Midnight Thoughts

ANOTHER one with some heavy Cinematics vibes. Honestly, I feel like this one is a great example of how amazing this album’s production is. Like, there’s so many little background elements that come together to make it sound so fuckin cool. For example, that one hook near the end where it suddenly strips back to just a beat and vocals? KILLED me. Also, another relatable anxiety bop,

Favorite Lyrics: Dim the lights, shut the blinds, but I’m counting the time Am I nervous or am I insane? Try to turn up the sound, but I can’t shut it out 'Cause I’m hearing the pulse in my veins

9. Criminal Minds

The orchestral feel to this one is so nice, and the rhythm of the lyrics feels so cool. The strings were such a good touch, they go really well with the electric guitar somehow. Cody’s vocals also feel really smooth in this one? Like this is just a pretty sounding number I love it

Favorite Lyrics: This stress eats at my soul I can't tell if I'm breathing at all Street drama takes its toll So, hit the road

10. No Disrespect

UGHHHHH don't get me STARTED on the chorus here. The stripped back staccato rhythm of the vocals with the bursts of instrumental, and then the way it flows into the full instrumental for the repetition in the second half of the chorus. It sounds so fucking gooooooooooooooood I'm having a crisis

Favorite Lyrics: 'Cause I don't see you the way you want to Forget your rescue, we're dreaming, dreaming, dreaming We had our good times, but time has passed by Begin your new life, I'm reaching, pleading, screaming

11. Stitch Me Up

I have SO much to say about this song. Cody and Shay are so fucking cute and their relationship is so nice. Any time Cody talks or sings about Shay you can feel how fuckin in love they are. The only two nice love songs I can ever remember him writing (The other one being Diamond Girl) have been about her and they’ve both been absolute gems. This one especially. It has such a potent vibe that I can really only describe as a summer song. It’s so,,, bouncy and lively and genuinely sweet with just a faint hint of sadness and ughhhhhhhh. PLUS the fuckin commentary Cody gave for this song on his insta story,,,,

“One of my favorites. These lyrics came straight from the heart. [Shay] and I have both come from damaged relationships, but somehow being broken is what made us whole.” 

Anyways love is real and I’m soft don't TOUCH ME

Favorite Lyrics: Stitch me up, stitch me up, don’t tear me apart I’ve been stuck in a rut, patched up in the dark Stitch me up, stitch me up, there’s pins in my heart Oh, pardon all my precious scars

12. Raise No Fool

Cody fuckin SNAPPED with this song and I’m living for it. One of the things Cody does so, so well, is delivering just the Most intense anger through his vocals and he brought it ALL for this one. You don’t know what happened but you fuckin FEEL it. Idk who this is about but like,,, killem Cody go Off bitch!!

Favorite Lyrics: Well, first you try to tell me that we're family Then you try to tell me that it's for the best You promise that you'll be there if I need ya But I don't need your handout, you can take it back!

13. I Want You (Gone) (Feat. Matt Appleton)

Another more mellow song, but it’s still so fuckin Good. It just has such a palpable vibe and feel. From what I can gather it’s about leaving a toxic relationship behind, and it Feels that way, in a sense? Like when I listen to it I just get this Feeling of something solemn yet triumphant and clean and new, like cutting someone shitty out of your life. PLUS, that sax? It adds SUCH a nice element to the second half of the song. Matt Appleton is a gift I’m so glad they brought him on for this song

Favorite Lyrics: I guess you'd say I'm blessed I threw away stress the moment I said I want you, I want you gone I'm on my own path, you're stuck in the past I want you, I want you gone

14. Unopened Windows

GOD,,, OKAY,,, HERE WE GO,,, Imma be real with yall. I cried the first time I heard this. It just be like that sometimes. But like this is LITERALLY Dad’s Song 2 and I wasn’t fuckin READY for that. There was no WARNING,,, I wasn’t told I was gonna get hit with that much EMOTION Okay okay for real though, this song is actually gorgeous. It’s just,,, pure fucking grief, so much of it, poured into a song. The composition, the vocals, every element of it is so powerful and heartbreaking. This is the kinda song you cry to- but like, a healing cry, the kind you have right before you take a deep breath and start moving on, y’know? The moment I heard Danny Boy near the end, I started crying all over again. Any time I hear this song or Dad’s Song, I cannot fucking begin to imagine how Cody must feel about what happened to his dad. It’s a kind of grief that can’t be explained. I’m just glad he feels like he can share it with all of us, and that he has a support system behind him. Also, I cannot communicate enough just how much this feels like a fucking,,, movie soundtrack. Like this shit would not feel out of place in a musical or something. The swelling orchestral music near the end fucking kills me. Gotta go cry again brb

Favorite Lyrics: All the stories left unwritten that we drew up in the past It's the game we never went to or the drinks we never had As I look up to the stars and make a wish to bring you back But I curse the roof above me and I learn to live behind all these Unopened windows, bound to my heart Fantasy so close feels so afar But I long to break the lock And live among the life we lost Through unopened windows; they tear me apart...

15. Happy All The Time (Feat. Skyler Acord)

WHAT a closing number. Addmmitedly a bit of a jarring followup to Unopened Windows, but it also makes a lot of sense, to go from a song about grief to a song about letting yourself process negative emotions. It also feels like SUCH a culmination of the album. Maxx even said in his Midnight release livestream, he thinks that it sort of represents the entire message of Midnight as a whole. The album was written to deal with a collection of sad, angry, and upsetting topics or experiences- this song takes all of those and says, “Dude, it’s fine, it’s okay to feel shitty, you don’t have to bottle it in or hide it” and honestly, there are so many people who need to hear that- it’s such an important message. Also??? The fucking???? Choir??? WHAT a touch. Honestly there are Several songs on this album that feel like they could be off a musical soundtrack and this is DEFINITELY one of them. It feels like a finale, and it’s so just powerful and uplifting and emotional, I love it so much.

Favorite Lyrics: It's okay, you're not crazy! Gotta taste the salt to love the sweet Let it out and scream ��I'm okay, I'm not crazy!” 'Cause the tears remind me I'm alive It's fine to not be happy all the time!

Honestly, this may be my favorite album by them yet. It’s such a fucking monument to everything they’ve been through and learned and explored as a band for ten years, it has such a clear vision and comes together so well. The lyricism, vocals, instrumentals, composition, and production are all fucking fantastic. I’m so excited to see where this era leads us, and I’m so happy with what we’ve seen so far.

In conclusion, the boys did it again, I’m weeping, and stream Midnight on Itunes and Spotify. Peace out kids a bitch is gonna take a NAP

[santiagostyle]

U kno what plot twist ill only ask u for all the even numbers this time!!! Unless any of the odd ones involve music bc i know those are the ones u rly wanna answer so

MARK THE DAY KIDS JO IS BEING NICE TO ME

anyway this is a hella long post lmao s o r r y

2. name your favourite books; why are they your favourite books and do they affect your writing?

my all time favourite is To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee which like,, I feel like it doesn’t really affect my writing but it definitely reignited my love for literature which I guess consequently led to me getting back into writing??

also the A to Z of You and Me by James Hannah literally ripped out my heart and stomped on it and I’m seriously pretty sure I finished it within a few hours of starting it. That one probably does affect my writing because it’s very angsty but also in terms of style it’s pretty fragmented which is kinda the direction I tend to go in so!!!

I’m yet to make it past the first chapter but the style of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy is,,, everything 

not technically a book but I’m a theatre major so ofc i’m gonna include a play!!! 4.48 Psychosis by Sarah Kane ripped my heart out, tore it to pieces, threw it on the ground and stomped on it (also side note it took me a solid week and a half to recover from watching it performed live). the style is so abstract and disjointed and strange and fragmented but it’s so so perfect and absolutely heartbreaking (also big ass trigger warning if you’re thinking about looking it up)

ALSO i got about halfway through before life got in the way so I didn’t get the chance to finish it but I absolutely adore the style of Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury and like,,, fun fact I’m actually related to him so ???? i guess writing runs in the family ????? and yeah there are some small parts of that book that I read and thought ‘this sounds like something i would write’ just because i feel like we have pretty similar styles4. why do you like writing? what inspired you to put paper to pen?

I guess I haven’t ever really been happy just living one life or doing one thing at a time so,,,, I write 6. tag any writers that you want to collab with!

hoooooo boy um ?? literally ?? everyone??? but specifically @elsaclack @startofamoment @kasuchi @peraltiagoisland and my girl @johnnydora but for real i wanna write with EVERYONE 8. how many wip do you currently have? which one is your favourite as of the moment?

HA HA HA HA HA for real I literally have like,,, 4 Big Major Fics in the works and then like 11-12 little drabble things also in progress (and by in progress I mean I’ve thought about them and done absolutely nothing else)10. describe your writing in five sentences or less.

sentences suck imma do dot points

- I can’t write chronologically and the beginning of a story is usually the last thing I do

- I have a tendency to write ‘moments’ as opposed to actual full fledged stories if that makes sense? like I find it so much easier to write little ‘scenes’ or slices of life so i often use quite a few time jumps because i find it so difficult to write the stuff that occurs in between big moments

- i always spend so much time and so many words describing the littlest details because those are what i think are most important 

- literally everything i write has a song associated with it and i can’t write without music 

- i either use really long super flowery descriptive sentences, or sentences with like 3 words in them. there is no in between 

12. what do you associate with each of your stories? with your writing in general?

I mean I’ve only published two (2) things on here/ao3 so far but like I mentioned before the music thing so I suppose i associate particular songs with each of my stories?

but also like in general all of my writing comes from a really intense emotional place and like, even if I’m unsure of how my?? mental state?? is doing at a particular time, it comes through in my writing. so if i suddenly only wanna write fluff i know i’m doing okay, whereas i kinda have to be sad to write something angsty like the hellfic14. write a personal history/mini autobiography/author description that you don’t mind sharing.

smol anxious tina fey wannabe spends too much time crying in her room thinking about so many stories while putting off actually writing 16. three pieces of other’s writing that people need to read to understand your inspirations and you?

alright i know like everyone and their dog has already read it but foR REAL @elsaclack‘s sleepwalking changed my goddamn life alright it was literally everything i had ever wanted in a fic and i am still Shooktd to this day okay frick

Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho is also a book that is very important to me and I think everyone should read it 

Neighbourhood Watch by Lally Katz is the first play that actually made me cry just by reading it (like, I didn’t see it live, I cried reading the actual text) because god there’s so much emotion and so many issues that it deals with that are very close to my heart and it reminded me a lot of some people I’m very close to so!!!!18. make a playlist for people to listen to if they want to understand you.

AIGHT I DON’T HAVE TIME TO DO AN ACTUAL PLAYLIST RN BUT I’M GONNA EDIT THIS LATER AND ADD A LINK BUT FOR NOW HERE ARE SOME OF MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE SONGS:

America - XYLØ

Young Blood - The Naked and Famous

Go Bang - PNAU

Sucker - Peaches

Raspberry Beret - Prince

Salvation - The Cranberries

Hero - Regina Spektor

Caught - Florence + The Machine

Time (Video Version) - Stray Dogg & Devendra Banhart

Leaving the City - Joanna Newsom

September 22nd - Brock Berrigan

Havana - Camila Cabello

Queen of Peace - Florence + The Machine

Regular Touch - Vera Blue

Here I Lie - Marika Hackman

Maneater - Nelly Furtado 

Kiwi - Harry Styles

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON

Baby I Call Hell - Deap Vally

Motel - Meg Myers20. describe your writing life in one sentence. 

I have been writing since I could hold a pen, and telling stories since before then22. your favourite characters to write and why.

oBVIOUSLY JAKE AND AMY but like I think I find Jake just a tiiiiiny bit easier to write because I’m always talking about Amy, like, externally??24. name one fact about yourself that you want your readers to know about you.

for real i’ve literally been writing since i could hold a pen. my mum still has ‘books’ i wrote when i was 3 about the adventures of my teddy bear lmfao26. what are your writing goals for the week? for the month? for the year? how many words/poems do you write per week?

HAHAHAHH WELLLLLL i was meant to be doing nanowrimo this month but then some Things happened so it hasn’t really gotten done. my biggest writing goal at the moment is to make some soliddddd progress on the hellfic (it’s all planned and a lot of the next chapter is written i just,,, can’t make the words work atm) so!!!

also i pretty much write when i have ideas?? which is,,, not often unfortunately

[kimcheolwoon]

do five!!! (i actually have to stop myself from listening to kimi no sei de on a daily basis i’m going to end up naming a future kid baby blue at this point)

i trusted you guys…i really did. and i thought you all loved me. i thought you all would listen to me and take heed about not sending me this album. but you did it anon. idk why but you did and now i’m gonna have to answer because i guess a lot of people are curious but like you really didn’t have to do this yknow. oh god here goes…i really don’t know how i’m gonna do this

Favourite Track: —Least Favourite Track: —Underrated track: —Overrated Track: —

i can’t…i physically, mentally, and emotionally cannot do this guys. i sat and looked at the track list for so long and i actually started crying. god no this album…it’s my absolute favorite. i love every song on this album equally. i got to see it live performed in tokyo dome. i can’t listen to any song without getting hella emotional. i just really don’t know where to even begin in ranking it. the thought just doesn’t cross my mind, yknow i try to pick a favorite and then i think of all the other songs and i’m like how can you even choose? i tried to choose once yknow. when the album first came out. i was like man Become Undone can never be beat! and then i heard Melody, and then Diamond Sky (diamonds last forever?? SHINee telling us that SHINee and Shawols will last forever??? fuck me i’m crying. i got a freaking diamond tattoo because of this song and i stopped really short of having SHINee inked above it. i’m still gonna go back and add stars around it to make it a literal diamond sky) and do NOT ask me about Winter Wonderland because then you’re asking for the waterworks..and if you take away my inclination towards ballads it’s like Gentleman is so fucking good, i swear i didn’t know how to spell it before SHINee taught me (lmao i’m kidding). and GTT? like hell yes this is SHINee 5 (*weeps*). and Mr. Right Guy??? Kibum and Minho in that song i could listen to all day. What’s your blood type? idek SHINee but i never wanted to figure it out more in my entire life. D-D-D-D-do me right you got to be doing me right! Baby SHA-LA-LA god i can’t listen to that without dancing and smiling and my baby jjongie is so cute doing his little shalala. Nothing to Lose is a song i always forget is on this album and not dxdxd because its a song so reminiscent of that album i sometimes wonder if it should’ve been on there instead. but it’s so powerful and like yea i got nothing to lose so imma just risk it all. (1of1 is another kor –> jpn song and then i already talked about kimi…) 

so guys…i’m not upset at whoever sent this (not at all) but i asked you not to for a reason and this is whyyyyy. because i’m a mess and this album was/is/and forever will be album of the century until (maybe) SHINee drops their next Japanese album. (i say jpn because for me their jpn discography is slightly better than their korean.) 

[worangetraveler-multiverseguide]

Plot 0: Music analisis i guess

Not gonna lie... part of the delay is that i didnt want to my rage induced discourse filled mind at the time get into the wrap up (plus the good old lazyness) so now after so long i think i can do this better. But still gonna check each song and see what do we get of each.

Let’s Just Live: This opening actually grew on me with the pass of time, specially in the sense of moving forward after all the crap volume 3 puts the character and to extention US throught. Now the full version... IM NOT FUCKING CRYING I SWEAR! TuT AND NOT IM READING THE TRIVIA AND FUCK IM LEAVING! (actually nope, but damn this song is emotional... and slightly Nuts & Dolts because i said so xD Will explain eventually).

Like Morning Follows Night: Blake song 2 sentences in, one verse later is basically Blake and Sun’s arc put into song and not shippy at aOKAY WHO THOUGHT THE RAPPING PART WAS A GOOD IDEA???? Ok its not bad only caught me off guard and is the only too shippy part of the song and somewhat rubbed me the wronh way.

Bad Luck Charm: Qrow’s song of course.Very basic, very effective... and sadly not exactly inaccurate... i mean, part of it is Qrow probably being to emo (funny he is Ruby’s uncle xD) but he HAS base on his claims... i do wonder. If offered the oportunity to get rid of his semblance... would Qrow take it?

This life is Mine: oh dear here we go, Weiss song where she FINALLY flips the musically proverbial middle finger to Schnithole so she can have her own life. Interesting to note? The song came in 3 layers: Basic, rebel, fuck you. The one we heard on the chapter this song premiered was basic, Weiss escaping is the rebel part... im so eager to see the fuck you part one day :D (sidenote, i heard of the sick guitar this had before... and for some reason i always pictures Klein playing it... one can dream :P)

Home: Calming... and one of those are vague enough to be any kind of song. Right now im picturing it to be from Ruby to Yang (and the rest of team RWBY most likely) probably helped for the scene it played. Not much to add, except that now im asking why is wasnt use to the ending of the volume... and i think i have an answer for that... in the next song.

Armed and Ready: Volume 3 was the lick our wounds period, now? ITS TIME FOR THE COMEBACK! and the poster-woman for that is not other than our dear Yang Xiao-Long Armed (goddamn it Barb) and ready to go back in the game and do what she has to... and yet... im playing the role of Qrow here as a bad luck charm in saying guys... prepare for dissapointment. Not that things will be bad to the point of no return... but something sounds off in the song, it doesnt get me HYPED as it should... and it makes me worried of Yang once more, she is on the positive days after her accident... what will happen when we crashed head first into a bad day? Well... only time will tell i guess, but just as an extra comment here’s a lyric from the song that stroke me hard  “Revenge, my happy ever after” And as we learned thanks to las volume... there are NO happy ever afters. (Sidenote: oddly and sadly just like in volume 1 most of Yang development comes in form of song, i mean volume 4 did a far better job... but still).

Lusus Naturae: [Song locked for the Worange Traveler since he hasnt played the videogame Grimm Eclipse... maybe for some other day]

Bmblb: DO I REALLY HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS? My shipping heart has only so much tolerance for this shit! *sigh* fine let’s see what do we get from this: yeah, gonna need new teeth after this DAMN IT WAS TOO SWEET! xD And okay i will give the credit that besides Boop is the best shipping song in this last 3 volumes, and could past as a normal song in any radio if you ask me, but i dont think imma play it again.

Boop (Acoustic): Slightly sad we broke the tradition of opening in acoustic, with that said... THIS IS AN ACOUSTIC FOR THE BEST (ALIVE) SHIP IN THE SHOW SO FUCK IT I APPROVE!!! :D

And that’s pretty much it. Nice round of songs all around... oddly neought the villian song this time is apparently only the one from the video game... i need to play that sometime...

[borathae]

~Chapter 26~ I just want to say I LOVED this chapter so much. Them making up and all the fluff 😚👌💕 My heart really needed that. Also how you describe Namjoon in your story is exactly how i think he is in real life. Like always having some really well worded advice that sounds so well thought out but he didn't even have to think about it that hard, it just comes naturally to him. Where does one find a Namjoon? And the tea part? Excuse me? That was a whole movie moment. 😭 Eternity biiitch 😭 I had literally so many song options for this chapter but at some point I had to stop myself lol

🖤 My Everything - Ariana Grande

In this chapter or rather in the time between this & the last chapter oc accepts that she wants jungkook back in her life and said let's work on what we have bc it's far too powerful & special to just dismiss it because someone made a mistake which can be worked out. I think she always knew this but now she accepted it. "I've cried enough tears to see my own reflection in them and then it was clear, I can't deny I really miss it." I think oc realised this especially once jk revealed he needs time to think and that's when it hit oc that he might not come back and that she actually can't live without him. "To think that I was wrong, I guess you don't know what you got 'til it's gone. Pain is just a consequence of love. I'm saying sorry for the sake of us. He wasn't my everything 'til we were nothing. And it's taken me a lot to say. And now that he's gone, my heart is missing something so it's time to push my pride away 'cause you are, you are, you are my everything."

🖤 It's Gotta Be You - Isaiah Firebrace

I actually think this song represents both their povs. "I hear a million voices in my head telling me the things I should have said. I don't know why I let you go, oh I learned the hard way. Tell me it's not too late. Now my arms are open wide, they're hanging forever there, waiting forever, for you. I won't give up on you this time cause I ain't holding up, for nobody else. It's gotta be you."

🖤 Blind (Acoustic) - PRETTYMUCH

I can just see jungkookie laying alone in a motel bed pretending this is seriously over, crying himself to sleep and when he closes his eyes all he sees is oc. "I lose my mind before I see you and I separated, no I'm so scared to lose you, never choosing to let go. Love's so fragile, anything could happen, and we know. Hearts made of glass, but somehow we last. Yeah we made it, no I would rather be without vision 'fore I ever watch you leave. [...] I'd be better off blind. [...] When I close my eyes all I think about is you."

🖤 Here To Stay - Josh Devine

Jungkookie is here to stay 😭 "My heart on the line, so you'll never doubt the mountains I'd climb for us now. It's all about us now. I fooled my heart, let it break. I know this time we won't fade cause all my love's here to stay. [...] Through the dark fight our way. I know this time I can change. [...] I'm giving up everything for this, we'll figure it out I promise."

🖤 Call You Mine - The Chainsmokers & Bebe Reha

I'm sorry but that's literally their story if you replace bar with diner. "When we thought that we couldn't get higher things started looking down. I look at you and you look at me like nothing but strangers now. Two kids with their hearts on fire, don't let it burn us out. Think about what you believe in now, am I someone you cannot live without? 'Cause I know I don't wanna live without you, yeah come on, let's turn this all around. Bring it all back to that bar downtown when you wouldn't let me walk out on you, yeah. You said, 'Hey, what you doing for the rest of your life?' and I said, 'I don't even know what I'm doing tonight'. Went from one conversation to your lips on mine and you said, 'I never regretted the day that I called you mine'."

🖤 Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia

This is what I imagine playing when oc just can't take it anymore and literally throws herself at jk and they hug so tight he can't breathe 😭💖 "I ache for love, ache for us, why don't you come, don't you come a little closer. So come on now, strike the match, strike the match now. We're a perfect match, perfect somehow, we were meant for one another, come a little closer. Flame you came from me, fire meet gasoline. [...] I'm burning alive. I can barely breathe, when you're here loving me." Also "I got all I need, when you came after me"

🖤 Can't Help Falling in Love - Haley Reinhart / Kina Grannis

Those are two separate covers but I just can't decide between them. You know just the whole 'so you really want me to stay?' 'yes we complete each other' vibe. "Shall I stay? Would it be a sin if I can't help falling in love with you? Like a river flows surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you."

🖤 Best Years - 5 Seconds of Summer

This relates to the last chapter where jk realised he wants to build a life with oc. And this just sounds exactly like something he would say to her when they're sitting together on the couch 😢 "You've got a million reasons to hesitate but darling, the future's better than yesterday. [...] Gave you a million reasons to walk away. But I'll build a house out of the mess and all the broken pieces. I'll make up for all of your tears. I'll give you the best years. [...] I promise, darling, you won't regret the best years."

🖤 Black And White - Niall Horan

Same as the previous song and also this is literally their story. "That first night we were standing at your door fumbling for your keys, then I kissed you, ask me if I want to come inside 'cause we didn't want to end the night. [...] Yeah, I see us in black and white, crystal clear on a star lit night in all your gorgeous colors. I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life. See you standing in your dress, swear in front of all our friends there'll never be another. I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life. Now, we're sitting here in your living room telling stories while we share a drink or two. And there's a vision I've been holding in my mind, we're 65 and you ask 'When did I first know?' I always knew."

Okay, okay so I gotta go on and hurry up with replying to your messages fjsdfjas. Excuse my lazy ass, but I really want to take my time with your messages and saDLY online classes didn’t let me until now 😔🤧

Honestly I totally agree with you, this is highkey how I imagine Namjoon to be in real life as well. Also no joke, working on Namjoon was always so much. I really loved his parts in the story. They were so healing for me to write hahfhads 💜 

Also I am literally so happy that you enjoyed Chapter 26 so much, it is one of my favourite chapters from the story as well. It is just so healing and cute. Like that part when Kook makes her all laugh and Namjoon is all like “damn that bitch laughs really weirdly” but Kook is all like heart eyes for her. do yOU HEAR ME CRYING IN MY ROOM?? 😔😭💜

Imma put the rest under “read more” because your bitch has a lot to say hahHAH

My Everything - Ariana Grande

Your description just hIT me like a truck. HAHAHHA BYE I am laughing in pain 😭😭 Oh god I don’t even know what to add because you described it just so perfectly well 😭😭 I caN’t here I am cryIng at the first song you recommended 😔

It’s Gotta Be You - Isaiah Firebrace

Okay lis t EN I am :( I will literally start sobbing right here and now 😭 like omfg that part when he is all like “When you walked away my heart tried to replace ya with someone like you, but I could never find it. I don't want to find it.” if that isn’t the reader trying to move on with Hoseok but realising just how much she needs Kook. But also at same time it’s Kook all trying to pretend that they have broken up, but ending up crying every night because he misses her so much. I will now cry 😭😭

Blind (Acoustic) - PRETTYMUCH

Okay you just changed my mind, this is IT. This is most definitely Kook being all sad and heartbroken in his motel room. Nooo lisTEN I AM FAR TOO EMOTIONAL I AM SOBBING :( Okay but also this part, listen this part: “I'm so scared to lose you, never choosing to let go [...] When I close my eyes all I think about is you. This is real love.” if that isnt them being all like “I’ll never let go again” later when they are cuddling in bed :( 

Here To Stay - Josh Devine

Okay... why are those lyrics literally so damn accurate?? Help I am scared? They are literally so accurate hgnfgnan bYE 😭😭😭 also omfg I didn’t know this song and I freaking love their voices. They just HIT right 😭 I can’t jajsdj like every song you’ve recommended as of now made me cry (in a good way) 😭 like just that part “We'll figure it out I promise cause all my love's here to stay.“ I will throw myself away 😭

Call You Mine - The Chainsmokers feat. Bebe Rexa

listen anonie I wanna smooch you. I do not know how you always manage to find songs that just F I T so right, I am comBUSTING 😭😭 gosh this is giving me such hardcore memories of how it felt like to start writing this story (lil fun fact for you guys, exactly one year ago I started working on the Cocktail Trilogy 😔) I can’t this would fit so well to a lil flashback, showing all the amazing times they had together. Like them just driving down the coast, the reader has her arms around his waist while Kook is sneaking a glance her way and smiles. Like just imagine 😭

Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia 

Omg the moment you described 😭 this is it. I can imagine it so clearly. How Kooks eyes widen in surprise at first before they flutter closed. How he nuzzles his face into her shoulder and twists her sweater in his fingers so she would never leave again. How she is squeezing her eyes shut and twisting his hair to press him even closer. Now that they are finally together again it feels so right. The world could burst into flames all around them and yet they wouldn’t let go. Nothing matters for them except the other person. 

And now I made myself sOB again  😔😭

Can’t Help Falling in Love - Hayley Reinhart / Kina Grannis

OKAY LISTEN NO JOKE I LISTENED TO THE KINA GRANNIS COVER WHILST WORKING ON THAT CHAPTER! I love that song so much and holy shit the lines you chOSE YES!! 😭😭 this is song is them 100%, I don’t make the rules and I thank you for recommending it 😭😭

Best Years - 5 Seconds of Summer 

Anonie you are out to make me cry 😭😭 (first of all I love 5sos so much) HOLY SHIT LISTEN THIS IS TOO MUCH 😭😭 I can’t, I literally can’t. This just broke me HHAHSH 😭😭 like if that song isn’t the moment when he is all like “you won’t regret it I promise. I’ll make you so happy.” liKE HOLY FUCK MY HEART IS ACHING 😭😭 anonie seriously thANk YOU, you don’t even want to know how often I have listened to this song whilst working on Purple Rain. Good god, this just awoke so many memories 😭

Black and White - Niall Horan

ANOTHER SONG I CONSTANTLY LISTENED TO WHILST WORKING ON PURPLE RAIN 😔 anonie I can’t believe that three songs of my “writing songs” also made you think of Purple Rain. Fuck I can’t, I’m currently listening to it and I am sobbing HAHAHH 😭 like okAY listen, do you want to know which scene I always think about when I listen to that song? The one day when Kook took her to a junkyard and then when they later drove up a mountain to watch the city. And it’s that moment when they are both just like screaming on top of their lungs and then end up falling into each others arms because they are just so goddamn fucking alive when they are together 😔

Honestly anonie thank you. This playlist was such an emotional rollercoaster to listen to (in a good way). Holy shit it awoke so many memories and fuck, you just get me and my story 😔 thank you anonie, I really fucking love you 😔💜

[solasulad]

The Cousin Josh.

I’m feeling all types of emotions with this one. And I know I really really fucked up but I’m hating my self asking for more. I don’t think I’m gonna ask. I’ll just let it be like always but until then imma cry myself to sleep once I get those itches.

So.. let’s start..

Abel called me Friday night saying happy birthday. Told him thanks and that we should chill, me him and josh + whatever girls I could gather. He said sure I was like ii. Completely forgot about it for a second until he called me Saturday after noon asking what was up with josh on the line I was like blessed! If worst comes to worst I can chill with these guys. Had plans with S. for dinner but she flopped on me, so took these guys on instead. Invited R, to come to the club so it was perfect!

After running back and forth from one end of the city to another, I finally get to the Airbnb and settle in. It’s about 8pm now and my sister was tryna come over but told her nah. More like yah come but ignored her.

Anyways. I get to the Airbnb and start to slowly figure my life out. R. says she finishes at 9 and will come over after getting dressed I’m like cool, tell the boys to meet for 10 at the Airbnb. Bomb, I have an hour before the guys are to come and I slowly/quickly get ready.

I’m doing my make up, r. Hits me up with she’s gonna be late so I’m like Okk cause the guys haven’t arrived yet.

It’s now 10 & I get a call from Abel saying he’s down stairs... I’m like wow... okay my faces done by still haven’t got dressed & not sure if I was gonna add more make up on. So they kinda just fucked that up.

I finish whatever makeup I can, I put my shoes on and get them from downstairs. They both give me hugs Abel gives me a kiss on the neck and picks me up. Josh gives me a hug that’s it. We head up stairs, they chill on the bed/couch while playing music as I get ready. I’m running back and forth from the bed to washroom cause it’s an open Airbnb aka loft. So I finally get my dress & underwear put it on and lotion myself up. I walk out the washroom and they say it looks good, Abel complimenting me heavy as fuck and well, josh saying it looks good. In that moment I never really payed josh any attention cause he wasn’t looking my way. I just left it as that cause abel was trying heavy.

Anyways, they both compliment my dress, my hair and make up. I felt like the shit. We wait for my friend to come  & head downstairs for a smoke. Took only one pull of the weed and felt it. They both drinking so they give me some & I kill it. They ask me what I’m tryna do I’m like get drunk drunk 😭.

We wait for R. Then send her an Uber to her, she comes at 11:30 ish & we head out to the club.

Abel started puking up in the car and I was like wow really. Grown ass niggah can’t handle himself. Smh

We get to the club I’m like wavy but not drunk R.’s chilling dancing, Josh orders is a drink and I’m like w/e I’m good with it. He gets us Jack Daniels & coke. I’m drinking that shit like it’s water sipping it fast.. then Abel gives me his. I’m like awh sheet gonna get fucked up 🙌🏾!

Finish his drink then start dancing not really doing much just moving my ass, lol there was a moment when after hoping rooms we found a chill vibe and I started shaking my ass twerking, the dress was so short so I had to stop. Abel kept amping me up that was dirty annoying 😩. We stuck with the guys and danced, before walking into the club R. Asks me about the guys & I tell her Joshs a cute but Abel’s cock blocking & that if she was down to go for him. She’s like she’s had her eyes on him & he is a cutie. I’m like “well damn” before even coming to the club I was laying down on the bed and showed Abel a pic of R said I was gonna hook josh and her up.

So now the club. When emotions kinda ran thru me. So we are now still in a room dancing. I’m enjoying myself and just dancing with the group kinda. Not really hugging up anyone just there dancing Abel tried to get me to turn around but I didn’t. Anyways, we dancing me looking towards Abel and Abel moving in squares like he’s retarded, I turn around to see if R. Was good and see her and josh kissing... I was like well damn now look at this. My mood was like “shit, but whatever Abel’s cock blocked me”

So, after a couple mins R comes to me and she’s like omg he’s so cute, im like yo go for it he’s a cutie!! Also I’m like yo Abel’s cock blocking’s me I need to meet some guys. She’s like we’re gonna ditch them and go out. Blessed right?? Yah well.. we tell them that we’re gonna use the washroom. As we’re leaving I’m like joshs 96 so be aware she’s like idc he’s hot, I tell her go for it! My geographic area of guys have big dicks anyways & she starts to laugh. We use the washroom, then decide to make are way around she wanted to finesse guys for drinks lmao. We end up walking out and some guy pulls on her. He looked like Israel we went to high school with. So she’s taking to this guy & I’m just standing there... I’m looking around his friends are looking at me but no ones approaching me. One big ass belly guy came to me asking me my name, I tell him then it’s quite. I’m like what’s yours? He tells me he’s called snack, so i make a joke saying cause he eats a lot! LMAO he didn’t find that funny, but then it’s quite, he gives me his henny bottle and I take a big ass shot not thinking that I’d get fucked up.. hes like eh. LOL...

So then it gets quite, this short guy was just looking at me, he then approaches me asks for my insta gram I give him my name he adds me. Not really making Convos with the guys cause they beat as fuck. I just stand there. I hesitated on leaving her but didn’t want to get lost, so then.. I turn around and see josh walking around, I approach him & he comes over, he sees R with a guy and we’re like let’s go back to the room?

We all are walking together then out of nowhere we lose R and the guy. Me and Josh can’t find her but then something happens. I think he complimented me on my dress cause he said I looked sexy or something.

(Bare with me, the remaining shit I’m about to say is based off of drunken memory)

So he says something and then leans in for a tight hug I guess cause I end up biting his neck then he starts kissing me. I’m trying to remember how it started but idk lol I was off it.

So we kissing and minding our own business when I ask where’s Abel? He’s like behind you? I turn around and see him, Josh says let’s go for a smoke, we go outside & leave Abel inside. Josh takes his jacket off puts it on me so smooth &  We get a smoke from someone & then continue the convo.

Not sure but I remember telling him that I found him attractive at first but Abel was into me, then telling him that I told him I just wanted to be friends. I think I also told him what he did that night I went over to his place and how I left early. He’s like Abel’s into you really idk man it’s rough.

So he’s smoking then puts the cig in my mouth while my hands are in his pockets. So smooth so   Fucking cute. We make out more outside until Abel comes, then not sure what happens but he ends up leaving us alone. And we’re both like fuck.

I guess I didn’t want him to see us like that and get hurt. So we kept it short afterwards.

The henny starts to kick in and I feel mad sick. Like nauseous out of nowhere. We walking back and met with abel inside, joshs still holding me tight cause my walking fucked up, I guess he felt me wanting to throw up and he he asks if I’m good, I shrug no and he asks if I wanna throw up I’m like yah, he rushes me to the washroom and I start puking. He entered the girls side and holding my hair back while I puke rubbing my back. I feel better so we go after I wash my mouth.

It’s time to go and get my coat from the front, we still don’t know where R is so we end up just going without her. Waiting in the line for my coat I feel sick again, and then josh rushes me back to the washroom as he’s holding me from the back I start puking up on his arm and then in the toilet, I finish wash my mouth and apologize he’s like it’s okay don’t worry. I’m saying sorry and that I’m such a light weight.

We go outside and get hotdogs from the front, waiting for it I drink water they give me and then slowly eat the hot dog, I couldn’t even eat it cause I was so drunk I started puking again. They call an Uber and it comes right away. Before getting into the car I puke a little more and then sit in the middle between them both. I close my eyes and just try to breathe as josh says.

We get to the Airbnb quick & im sobering up kinda. Lol nah not really but better than puking that’s for sure.

We get upstairs and laugh that r’s gone, I’m like idk she met some guy that’s all her. We get in and I’m freezing. I get comfy on the bed while abel and josh play some music. Josh starts playing some weeknd songs and I start obsessing singing while laying down. Abel comes in the bed tryna cuddle and I get out leave him in the bed alone lmao.

So I put my hoodie on but still feel cold so i change into jeans and a hoodie. I come back into the room abel walls in and I sit on the side of the bed.

I’m sitting on the bed Abel’s falling and sleep and joshs sitting on the couch. Josh says he’s gonna go for a smoke, looks at me and asks if I wanna come with I’m like yah.

We leave go outside and he’s smoking his spliff. We start talking about what happened in the club and I’m like my friend likes you tho, he’s like nah it’s not even like that I was just there cause she was. I’m like okay, the once again tryna remember what happened but we end up kissing while he’s smoking his spliff, he takes a pull and blows it into my mouth. We kiss more outside then once he’s done he’s like let’s go for a walk.

We start walking towards the area I parked at, and find a corner stairwell outside that leads into the parking. There’s a camera up there so nothing freaky happened but... he starts kissing me grabbing me up and I had to stop him cause I wasn’t tryna be on the internet for some thotty shit.

So we start walking back to the building and then I’m like fuck I wanna fuck you or something, and he says the same, I ask him imma need a dick pic and he’s like you wanna see it I’m like yes! He pulls it out right then and there. I’m shookth at the size and thickness like wth. I tell him I’m tight and that’s gonna hurt. So I’m horny now and we make our way back upstairs. I say I need your body on a bed but laugh that Abel’s knocked out on the bed.

We head to the pool room in the building and look around see only one camera there, we block ourselves from the camera and start making out more. He pulls his dick out and I’m like I’m not gonna suck it here but he begs, so I only give him a tease of it. I go down on him without knowing what I’m doing I deep throat it. I finish not making him cum but get back up and he starts kissing me.

We leave that room and head back up stairs making out in the elevator. We get into the apartment and Abel’s knocked out, I take my jacket off and turn around and see josh waving at me to come in the bathroom. We get in and start making out more he pulls my pants off and goes down on me I’m shook as fuck cause he’s actually eating it hard & I come from that!!! He finishes up pulls his dick and NO CONDOM and fucks me raw. I’m face down ass up on the toilet he’s going in I’m trying not to scream banging my head on the wall, I’m dry at this point because of the position and limited space, but we switch and he spits on me to lube me up.

I’m sitting down backwards to him riding him and then he comes pulling me off backing me away on the floor. I’m like wow. This mother fucker!

He finishes and is still hard as fuck! Like wtf mane pls. He goes in again after cleaning up and a couple mins later I tap out. - not sure actually, thinking he only did it once now -

But anyhoo, we finish up in the bathroom both weird cause of the situation with Abel & me with R.

He leave and I clean up myself. I come back into the bed area and lay down adjacent to abel.

It’s now 6am and I’m trying to sleep knowing I gotta check out at 11am.. smh In set the alarm and close my eyes.

Wake up from Abel around 9am pissed cause I only got 1 and a half hours of sleep. Smh we get my things and we check out.

Josh drives us back to Abel’s cause I’m still fucked from last night both mentally and pussy wise.

We get to his and we aren’t really saying much about what happened last night. We get some breakfast and head back to his place now it’s like 11am or so, still tiered.

We in Abel’s room just chilling and Abel steps out, I think I brought up what happened last night and the whole mood changes cause he starts looking at me all sexual and I’m doing the same. Abel comes back and we stop. We kept doing that pretty much the whole time abel would leave. He went to the washroom to get changed and then josh said something about how he wanted to kiss me rn, I lean over towards him and we start making out on the bed, I think we heard foot steps so he backed off of me, Abel came in the room and left again, and we go back at it.

After that Abel stays in and we chill listening to music.

Josh calls one of his boys over FaceTime talking. I say something and then his friend asks who’s that, he says it’s a friend. Joshs friend after a minute or so says give me the phone to her I show my face and he’s like “hey joshs my best friend don’t take him” I’m like uhm, you can have him I didn’t even want him smiling, look up joshs smirking. So I pass the phone over to josh and his friends like she gorgeous as fuck. They continue the talk and I over hear joshs friend say something about him and a girl. I’m listening but pretending not really, on my phone.

He’s like it is what it is, mans like I feel you you there she’s there, you have needs. So the. Josh says something kicking my leg I ignore it pretending not to listen. He switches up starts speaking in his language tryna throw me off and then puts headphones in. Whole time Abel’s just sitting on the bed while I’m laying down.

So they finish the convo and then it just vibes from there Abel’s playing Chris brown wet the bed and other sexual songs.

I tell him I’m about to go and josh asks if I can drop him off close by I’m like yah. Already knowing what we about to do why not?

I tell abel I’m gonna go he’s like nooooo pls just stay blah blah blah unattractive as fuck. I finally leave after an hour or so saying I was gonna go now it’s like 3pm. Give abel a hug and leave with josh.

We get in the car jump on the highway and head downtown again.

Car ride was quite, wasn’t really talking about what happened until maybe 10-15 mins in?

So I bring it up and then he’s like it was wild nothing he’s seen before like the head game wasn’t sloppy but classy as fuck. How I deep the dick down and the looks I was giving him. I tell him same I was shook when he ate me out of nowhere and then he tells me my shits tight the tightest he’s ever gotten. I’m like wow lol

So I’m driving now on regular roads and I look over at him and kiss him. Trying to pay attention to the road we kiss for a bit then get to his area.

He asks if I wanna chill for a bit I’m like yah why not. We park up beside his place and we’re making out, he’s sucking on my tits and pulls my pants down fingering me hard. I cum once again from that and he takes his fingers dips it into his mouth and puts it in mine then continues kissing me.

I had it at this point this why is a freak!!!

I lean over to his side and go in for head, I look at his dick and see the bumps I seen earlier when I was sucking him in the pool room.....

So I stop and ask him if he’s good? He’s like yah don’t worry those are just rashes from dryness... I’m like you sure? Cause they where red and fresh rashes on his dick.... possible herpes man!!

He’s like nah they aren’t and that he’s clean I’m just tryna make sure, tell him if I get an std I’m killing him!!

He assured me it’s nothing and I continue. Smh I deep it maybe two three times and call it a quits. Told him I’m tryna tease him cause of the place we parked up at is risky...

So he has blue balls now and then tucks it away, starts biting on my tits again and I’m done it felt sooo good like shit has only did that to me other guys don’t know how to suck tits!

He’s sucking it and we make out more I lean again playing with his dick after I told him to put it away i pull it out again. Smh I kiss it some more and say that’s final. I tell him I have to go, he’s like okay. But we still continue kissing. I pull off saying I got to go and then mood changes.

Those rough sexual kisses turn into emotional kisses we kiss slowly and with passion, I felt that heavy.

He tells me leave him here he’ll walk over to his place and I can head out, I’m like okay.

I tell him bye zaddy as he leaves. He laughs.

I pull out the parking spot and see him standing there waiting so it seemed. His look was like he was upset or something.

I roll down the window do a eating sign with my hand and tongue and he smiles.

I leave. That’s that.

Now it’s Monday. Didn’t hear from him since yesterday after I dropped him off. Don’t know if I wanna be with him cause those kisses got me fucked up real shit.

We even talked about plans on fucking but space and time was an issue. He jokingly said “you know I’m a busy person, you gotta make an appointment in advance I’m like lol so I can’t hit you up randomly saying I need dick?” He laughs.

But real shit, Saturday night was wild. I didn’t think I was gonna end up with him either. He’s a fine mother fucker too. Oh man. Now I was creeping his insta earlier and still see the rose and D next to his bio.. go to his girls page and see the same J with a black heart. Smh she isn’t even cute, idk if I wanna do anything with him.

Don’t think he’ll hit me up unless it’s a party, but it is what it is. He’s 96 I’m 95 I don’t want to picture myself with him cause of his religion either. I gotta step back and forget about Saturday night.

Got me at work all fucked up, wanting to send him a message but pulled back. Smh.

Now I don’t know if I want to continue it cause Abel’s feelings are gonna get crushed heavy in the process so I’m just gonna let it be. He’s looking out for his cousin and I get that but also thinking why block your happiness?

Whatever.

& now that’s how I enter my 23 years of life. Getting raw fucked in the bathroom while sucking a dick that has bumps on it. I need to go get checked out maybe this weekend cause i can't bare the pain if it happens.  Ha.