#but good gosh. over six thousand people!! like my silly little stories!!!

[hardly-an-escape]

I am not going to lie to you. sometimes I look at my AO3 stats and giggle and twirl my hair and kick my heels up a bit like a flirty girl or perhaps a colt.

[zmayadw]

Hello to all :)

So, before I run off for the weekend and from this unberable heat to my own little personal Duskwood (by which I mean a house in the woods :D ), I promised to someone I would post the epilogue to my story by friday, and I keep my promises :)

Anyway, I wish you all to have a great weekend! Take care :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 27 - EPILOGUE

And so a year passed. One year since Hanna was found, one year since I met my wonderful friends. And one year since the most beautiful blue eyes I ever saw stopped haunting my dreams and became my reality.

It's been almost six months since I decided to move in with Jake and make Duskwood my new home. It was the easiest decision I ever made. They all became the most important people in my life, and I couldn't even imagine a day passing without beeing close to them. We shared a bond stronger than anything. They became my family, and family definitely doesn't start or end with blood.

--------------------------------------------

„You said five more minutes. Almost twenty passed!“ Jake announces from the doors. „I know, I know! I'm done!“ Turning in my chair, I just stare at him. „What? Do I look that bad?“ he asks worryingly after a moment. He was wearing black pants and a dark blue formal shirt, wich made his eyes color even more intense. That always amazed me, their color changing from greyish-blue to such an intense blue, I got lost in them so manny times. „Maya?“ His words snaped my attention back. Getting up I smile walking to him „Oh, the opposite, babe. You look very handsome.“ He smiles back. Wrapping my hands around his neck and kissing him softly first, then pulling him closer intensifying the kiss, hinting him more than clearly where I'm heading with this. He moves away raising his eyebrow „Oh, no, no, no.“ „What's a no?“ I ask, biting teasingly at my lover lip. Groaning he takes another step backwards from me „Argh, don't do this to me, angel!“ „I have no clue what you're talking about.“ I say taking a step towards him, playfully twirling a strand of hair arround my finger. „We don't have time for this!“ „Oh, well then.“ I say dissapointed and with a sigh start towards the bedrom. Passing him, I take my shirt off droping it on the floor at his feet „I suppose I'll go get ready then.“ I could feel his lustful stare following me. I barely stepped into the bedroom when his hand comes around me, pulling me to him, his other hand moving the hair from my neck. His soft lips on my skin sent tingles all over me. „You are driving me crazy.“ He whispers to my ear. „And you love it.“ I hum back. Turning me to face him he grins „But just so we're clear, you are going to explain to my sister why we were late to the wedding. And I'm dying to hear what excuse you will think of.“ Laughing I put my hands around his neck „Don't worry, babe, I can get quite creative when needed.“

„So, tell me you two, what was it that made you almost end up late for the wedding?“ Lilly was looking inquisitive at Jake and me. „Yes, Maya, please tell Lilly why we were almost late.“ Jake grins at me. Oh, he is so gonna get it for this! „There was...an emergency with my dress.“ She snorts „Right, I'm sure there was.“ Flashing her the most wonderful smile I could make „Oh, come on, Lilly, don't be like this. Hannah just got married, we should all be happy.“ „You two are impossible. I need a drink.“ She shakes her head before leaving us. „Emergency with the dress? That's the best you could think of?“ Jake raise his eyebrow at me. I grin „Shush it. It worked..kinda.“ „No it didn't.“ He laughs. „Fine, it didn't.“ I agree. „Then next time, you think of something better.“ He chuckles „Oh no, I'm not letting you make a habbit out of it.“ Turning to him with a wicked smile and going for a kiss, but stoping so close our lips barely touch „Whatever you say, babe.“ Without finishing the kiss, I slowly turn and head for the bar. „You are killing me!“ he yells after me. I turn my head and wink, just as Dan shows up next to him. „Troubles at paradise, man?“ he asks him. Jake grins, not taking his eyes off me „Quite the opposite, man, quite the opposite.“

The cool night breeze swirled arround me as I lean on the railings of the terrasse. Watching my friends looking so happy and laughing makes me smile myself. Seeing them like this, no one would ever thought that a year ago their lives turned into a nightmare. Even if the scars of the past events might not be visible to the eye, they are there, imprinted deep into each one of them. With time, they will fade more, and become just a distant memory.

The scars on my body are a different story. They will always be there, a reminder of bad days. But that's all right, I don't want to forget anyway. I want to remember, that no matter what shit life threw at me, I survived, I came out of it stronger. And no matter what might come my way next, I will be all right. They are also a reminder of all the good things that came along with them – new unbreakable friendships, and love, the purest and strongest love. Non of it would be able to exist without all the bad thats happened.

A raven perched on a tree cawed, calling for my attention. His beady black eyes curiously observed me. It's caw echoes around me again, it's sinister voice carried deep into the forest. That sound was frightening to me, sending shivers down my spine, bad memories resurfacing with it. But not this time. With a smirk I look at the bird straight in the eye „Don't waste your time with me, you don't scare me anymore.“ The raven continued to stare at me, moving it's head from one side to the other, as if searching to find just a hint of doubt in my words. Unsuccessfully. It's wings flapped, it's caws echoing as I watch it fly away, getting lost somewhere deep in the forest. „Everything all right, angel?“ Jake voice comes from the doors. With a smile I move from the railing and turn to him, call of the raven falling more silent behind me „Everything is perfect.“

-----------------------------------------------

„Finaly! I was beginning to worry.“ I almost yell in my phone. „Sorry, angel, I just stepped outside a minute ago.“ „Well that took forever. At least tell me you have good news?“ I ask impatiently. „Let me pick you up, then we'll talk.“ „Oh, no, no, no.“ I protest. „I've been waiting for hours, I can't wait anymore, I'm going crazy here!“ „All right, all right.“ He laughs. „Sooooo, what's the verdict? Is it over?“ I was so nervous to hear his answer. „It's over, angel.“ I screamed so loud from happines, scolding myself instantly for doing so in a place that I was at the moment. „Oh, babe, I'm soooo happy to hear this!“ I laugh „You haven't called back for so long, I was beginning to play the worst scenarios in my head. I know Dan said I can ask him for anything, but I doubt he would agree in helping me busting you out of jail. With a mention of it being a federal one, the chances are even slimmer. “ He chuckles „Yeah, I doubt that, too.“ „Tell me, did they agree to your demands? Is your record clean again?“ „Let me put it like this“ he says „They were more then extremely satisfied with the results they got from the informations I provided for them, that I could have asked for an island and they would say yes to it.“ I burst out laughing „Well, owning an island is a new trend these days.“ He laughs back. „Jake?“ I say serious. „What's up, angel?“ „Do you regret doing any of this? I mean, this was something you were forced to do, and honestly, I don't want you to end up hating me one day for any of this. I know I asked you that before, but still..“ „Listen to me, angel. I would do all of this the same way every time, without hesitation, through a thousand lifetimes, if in the end it would mean I get to have you.“ A tear escape my eye, more threathening to follow „Gosh, don't you get me in tears, silly! Now, come and get me, so we can go celebrate properly!“ He chuckles „All right, angel. And where are you?“ „You don't know?“ I ask surprised. „Don't tell me you stopped tracking my phone?“ „I will never do that.“ I laugh „Good, then you'll know where to pick me up. Love you.“ „Love you, too. See you soon, angel.“

I know why I decided to come to this place while nervously waiting for news from Jake. First time he brought me along, there was such calmness radiating from him, just sitting here, in the same spot I am sitting now. I never seen him being more at peace anywhere else but here. I guess I hoped coming here would do the same for me. And I was not wrong.

Collecting my stuff I stand up and look at the tombstone that I was sitting in front all this time.

Here lies Anna

A beloved daughter and mother

You will be missed forever

„Don't worry, Anna“ I smile at the tombstone throwing my backpack over my shoulder „Jake will be all right, I'll take good care of him. I promise.“

THE END

A/N: All right, so this is it, the end. I want to say a big 'thank you' to anyone who read it! :) I had fun writing it, and I hope you had fun reading it :) And honestly, I am a bit sad it ended, but we all know all things must come to an end eventually. Anyway, thak you again, much love to you all :)

[buckybabybaby]

Mr Hollywood (Epilogue Part II)

Summary: Bucky Barnes, an underpaid teaching assistant in a small English village, dreams of a movie career back in his home country of America. He finally gets the break he's always wanted, and if it wasn't for you, his best friend, he wouldn't have been able to take it.

But is that fact enough to save your friendship when it's tested by the pressures of Hollywood?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word count: 1150

Chapter summary: Bucky and Y/N enjoying Los Angeles.

A/n: I can never let characters like this go, especially after nearly 30 thousand words, so maybe there'll be a part III..?!

(If the picture is all blurry, opening it in a new tab in browser helps!)

Warnings: slightest suggestion of smut, but mainly fluff

Previous: Epilogue Part I

Mr Hollywood Masterlist | Main Masterlist

*****

“Are you feeling any better?”

Bucky must have sat back up at some point whilst you slept. From where you lay by his side you stretch, staring drowsily at him as he messes around on a game on his phone with one hand and plays with the ends of your hair with the other. Leaning into his touch, you think over his question, relieved to find that your headache has vanished and your body only feels heavy in that just-woke-up way you're used to.

“If I say yes can I still stay in your bed?”

He bursts out laughing at your whispered answer. “Oh, so now you want to stay? Is this what it takes to keep you here? Almost give you sunstroke?”

“No,” You protest. “I always want to stay.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Could've fooled me.”

Adjusting the pillows so you can sit up with his help, he squeezes you gently into his side so you know he's teasing.

“What time is it?”

“Nearly six.”

“Gosh. I wasted the whole afternoon asleep.”

“It's not a waste if you're ill, Y/N.”

“But still, I go back home in four days,” The reminder for you both is sobering. “I want to spend as much time with you as possible.”

“Are you up for a little walk then, now that it's a bit cooler? I'd still like to show you more of Los Angeles before you go home.”

“Can we go to the beach?”

He smiles across at you. “Of course.”

“And can we have ice cream?”

“You can have ice cream Y/N,” He huffs, looking over at his home gym sorrowfully. “I'll stick to a fruit salad.”

*****

The promenade along the beach front is bustling as you stroll along it, dodging skateboarders and joggers while you decide on what you want to eat. After the heat of the day, the fried foods and sickly rich treats turn your stomach so you opt for sharing a light rice dish with Bucky, complying with his food-plan in the process.

“Does Sam stick to his diet as well as you do?”

“No, but he gets away with it a lot more. If I so much as look at a pizza I put on a pound.”

“Don't be silly Bucky,” You say, slipping a hand underneath his t-shirt. “Besides, I like a bit of squish.”

“Oh yeah?”

You hum. “More to love.”

Bucky's smile goes from sly to radiating with pure joy at your reply, and he lets you pull him in to a kiss in the middle of the board-walk, the world narrowing to just to two of you as you press your lips to his.  

“Oi, Barnes,” A voice breaks your little moment. “If pictures of you and Y/N get out, you're gonna break thousands of hearts.”

Jolting away from Bucky with a gasp, for a second time in your life you find yourself flustered by the sudden appearance of Sam Wilson.

He's only just keeping a straight face, obviously enjoying seeing the two of you squirm. Bucky's the first to regain his composure, greeting his co-star as he slings a casual arm around your shoulders, not stopping you when you bury yourself into his side to hide.

Despite this, Sam speaks directly to you. “Hi Y/N. Lovely to see you again.”

You lift your head off Bucky's shoulder, giving Sam a small wave and a mumbled hello.

“You two having fun?”

Scratching self-consciously at his face, Bucky chuckles quietly. “You could say that.”

“Yeah. Looks like it. But I meant what I said, you're breaking the hearts of all your fans by kissing Y/N.”

“Don't be jealous Wilson. You know I'm still all about SamBucky.”

“Excuse me, I don't think I'm happy with sharing,” You butt in, grinning at how easily the back and forth is between the two of them.

“You're welcome to him,” Sam says “I don't think Riley would be too keen on sharing either.”

His aforementioned other half beeps from the parking space he's just pulled up to, and Sam says his goodbyes to go and join him, calling back at you before he closes the door. “Y/N! I hope you've still got lil' Sebastian?”

“What?” You ask, confused. “Lil'-oh! Yeah! Safe and sound next to my television.”

“Good! I'm glad you're looking after him.” Sam laughs, waving. “See you later, Buck! Don't make too much of a scene.”

You and Bucky watch until the car turns off the main road before continuing your walk, hand in hand in the setting sun.

“What was he talking about? Lil' Sebastian?” Bucky queries seconds later.

“I may or may not have stolen one of your action figures from the goody bags at the premier.”

Bucky smirks at your confession. “That sounds like something you'd do.”

“Sam said I could! Plus, I couldn't leave him, he's too cute.”

“That's 'cos he looks like me.”

“Nah, Sebastian's cuter.”

Bucky pulls you to a stop alongside the edge of the pier. “Take that back.”

“Nope. Sorry, but the long hair and metal arm just swing it for me.”

“I can grow my hair.”

“All right. But you still won't have the tragic back story that makes the character of Sebastian Stan so precious to so many people.”

“Whatever,” Bucky sulks. “You keep your Sebastian if he's that important to you. Sebastian Stan, sounds like a cartoon characters name.”

“Says Bucky Barnes?”

He splutters out a laugh at your amused tone, quickly catching you around your waist and lifting you off the floor to sit you atop the bench you are stood by, tipping you back as he grins  “Say I'm better and I'll let you up.”

“No,” You giggle, confident that he won't drop you.

“Y/N,” He whines, tilting you further.

“Kiss me and I'll think about it.”

“I'd kiss you anyway, but okay.”

He rights you and steps between your legs, meeting your lips again, this time much more passionately, ignoring Sam's words of warning in favour of proving a point.

“Well?” He asks against your mouth, both of you breathing heavily.

“I think,” You say, swallowing your nerves and keeping eye contact in spite of them, “That you should take me home.”

“Oh?” He frowns, processing what you said. You can see the moment he works it out. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?”

You nod. “Then you can really prove to me who's better.”

The way in which Bucky, all in the prospect of getting you into bed, grabs your hand and almost drags you across the sidewalk and into the closest taxi, then proceeds to push you into the corner of the back seat and kiss you like its the last time in full view of everyone around, causes much more of a scene than Sam ever could imagine, but you know that when you look back at it in the years to come, you won't care one bit.

*****

Epilogue Part III

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight: greywash

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

Hi, I'm greywash! I usually go by Gins, I'm 37, I'm an engineer, and I live with my beta/writing and queerplatonic life partner HBBO (havingbeenbreathedout) in the cheap(er) seats outside San Francisco.

How long have you been writing for?

I apparently "wrote" and "illustrated" a story for my mom about a dragon who forgets his best friend's birthday when I was three, so. It's been a minute. I kill fewer crayons these days.

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

Well... basically, I followed @longnationalnightmare in from another fandom, and a few people on my Tumblr dash were reblogging gifsets, so I originally watched the show basically just for more context. (The threeway. By "more context," I mean "the threeway.") Anyway, it took me about 0.3 episodes to be completely hooked: I had read the books a few years back and was ambivalent about a lot of things in them, so when I started watching the show I was expecting a lot less than I got? I'd expected a sort of silly B-show with lousy acting, and, I mean... it is frequently *very* silly, but then it turned out that the cast ranges from 'very good' to 'incredible', and the interpersonal dynamics are *fantastic*, and those are both pure fannish bait for me. The show's not perfect, but they fixed a lot of my problems with the books, a lot of which lived on a character development level... I think the show really has done some incredible work with Quentin, especially; and also with depictions of complex, liminally-sexual queer friendships, like the relationship between Margo and Eliot, which I feel like I've never encountered represented this well in any other visual media source, ever.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Ooh, that's hard. Eliot is just my hands-down full-stop favorite character, but there's always that tricky question of "who is your favorite character to write *in the point of view of*" versus "who is your favorite character to write *about*," especially when you have a relationship or relationships you're really invested in (for me, the asymmetrical Quentin/Eliot/Margo triad). When I want to write stories that are love letters to Eliot Waugh, which is often, then I want to write from Quentin or Margo's point of view, because when I write Eliot's point of view, I am inevitably writing love letters to one or the both of them.

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

Well, since I came into the fandom during the post-S3 hiatus—I started watching the show in October—just by default that's where most of my work is grounded, so far.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

Oh boy, I sure am! I have a lot of work to do on my 39 Graves fic, and then I still have, hm, probably another... twenty or thirty thousand words, ish? On "The Marriage Plot," which is the sequel (...sort of) to "Firebird" and also my sort of... emotional raison d'fanfic, for The Magicians. It's sort of a, uhh... well, let's call it an un-arranged-marriage fic, is the best way I can think of to put it.

How long is your “to do list”?

Oh gosh. It's atrocious, but it's also not all for /The Magicians/. There's "The Marriage Plot," but I also have a long-running /Sherlock/ WIP that got toootally hijacked by me suddenly desperately needing to write hundreds of thousands of words about Eliot and Quentin not getting married, and so I'm just getting back into that; and then I have 39 Graves. I also still owe my partner a /Sneaky Pete/ storylet and have two other outstanding prompts from the summer, one for /Lewis/ and the other for... I.... totally don't remember! /The Good Place/, I think? I saved it around here somewhere. On top of that, I'm doing fan_flashworks bingo over on Dreamwidth, and I don't want my entire bingo card to be "The Magicians," though so far that's been somewhat difficult to resist. And I love the weekly prompt idea that the Rec Center and the Neitherlands Library are running for S4! I had a blast writing for the "Identity" prompt and am looking forward to this week's as well. Well, at least I write fast.

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

I think I have to say "Firebird," because I haven't finished "The Marriage Plot," and who knows how that'll go; but they're so inextricably linked in my mind it's hard for me to think of "Firebird" as like—its own separate thing? I guess I can say that "Firebird" was really uncomfortable in places to write, so I'm proud of myself for getting it done without flinching away from all the, like, body horror and murder and super dubious consent; and I think it does what I want it to do. We'll see how I feel when I finish "The Marriage Plot."

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

Well, I definitely haven't been here long enough or written enough stuff to have that feeling, but—let's say "The Get Down," which is just a little bonbon about Margo and Eliot being best friends and banging a psychic. I love themmmmm~ ~ ~

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

I'm not particularly superstitious about writing, but I am hugely invested in my writing routine—I'm a write-every-day person, and I do mean 'every day'; I'm on a 2,179 day streak on 750words.com—that's a little shy of six years. People are usually horrified when I admit this, but: I get up at 5:15 in the morning seven days a week so that I can put on headphones and write for at least an hour and often more like two before work, or whatever it is that I'm doing that day. (I also go to bed at like.... eight forty-five. I am a party animal.) I also very frequently write on my lunch breaks and have the excellent fortune to live with my writing partner, so we spend loads of time writing on the weekends and talking about fiction. This is literally the life of my dreams, but you have to be a very specific kind of obsessive weirdo to feel that way, I think.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I am too much of an egg in this fandom to have an answer to this one yet, I think. :) I probably wouldn't start a longfic during the season, but shortfic, sure, why not?

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

"Firebird," because of all the aforementioned body horror and murder and super dubious consent. I am a delicate flower, who happens to be fascinated with narrative about people confronting their personal monstrousness. It's a tough row to hoe, man.

Are there any themes or tropes that you like particularly like to explore in your writing?

For /The Magicians/, the particular dead horse that I love to flog is Fillorian marriage, and the implications that forced fidelity have for consent; and also just for how intimacy *works*, within a marriage or a long-term relationship where that sense of choice, of choosing and being chosen, is so much of what lends richness to the relationship.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Nonfannishly: Georgette Heyer, Sarah Waters, Herman Melville, Miranda July. Fannishly.... whoo boy. In /The Magicians/, I'm still catching up on all the great stuff that people have written! @longnationalnightmare , @adjovi , @achray , @shmazarov, @numinousnumbat , and @ohmarqueliot are some of my favorites so far... in other fandoms: gosh, where to even start, I've been in fandom for 20+ years, we could be here a while. I guess since we're on the subject (sort of) of the monstrous, I reread @1001cranes ' "disguise fair nature with hard-favoured rage" the other day and was just as floored by it now as I was... gosh, was that really seven years ago? Well, it's evergreen, go read it again. @septembriseur for fiction about altered consciousness. @drawsaurus for the interplay between warmth and brittleness and humor and darkness. @helenish for her endings. @havingbeenbreathedout for the interplay between sex and story, and basically everything else as well.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Right now, I have open on my laptop: (1) @astolat 's "And I Alone Have Escaped to Tell You [which I've read before], (2) @ohmarqueliot 's "Reaching in the Dark" [which I haven't started], and (3) what is, in context, the most ironic thing *ever*: a handbook on strategies for managing ADHD. What? Don't judge me.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Basically that learning to write is just figuring out how to ask yourself "What are you trying to do with this _______?" (comma, word, line, paragraph, chapter, story), and then figuring out how to answer. (Thanks, Dad!)

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

Oh, I mean—I'm pretty okay with even the totally predictable bits of my narrative voice, I don't stress about it too hard anymore, but yes, there are a bunch of words I *know* I overuse. Especially since I'm a little bit blind to repeated words if I'm reading and not listening to my work read aloud, which—I try to do at least one pass where I get my computer to read to me when I'm editing, but I need to have both time and focus to make that work, both of which, I find, are often in short supply. "Tells"—he tells her, she told him—is *the worst*; I'm always looking for it my brain just skips over completely, it's like it's not even a word for me anymore.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

Oh dear. I'd been in fandom for several years before I started writing, but as I recall, the first thing I actually wrote was an exceptionally overwrought and tragic Snape POV Remus/Sirius story. I have no idea what happened to it and I'm almost certainly happiest that way.

Self-edit or Beta?

Both!

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes?

All are delicious.

Smut, Fluff or Angst?

Smut.

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn?

Quick and dirty on the sex and slow burn on the feelings.

Favourite season?

Season Two

Favourite Episode?

Cheat Day

Favourite book?

The Magicians

Three favourite words?

lovely, devastating, yearning

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

[waldowski89-blog]

02-02-19 - Work?

Here I am again at my desk with half an hour to waste. I actually would rather use that time writing these diaries than playing an app game. I feel like that can be a waste of time… although I do now crave a go on some.

Eurgh, what can I really write here anyway? I’m at a standstill here. I need to write something creatively. Actually, maybe I could look at doing a competition for writing a short story online. That might be fun. Gosh, I long for my University days. Back when I had some real work to worry about. Not this drivel of mine. Blergh anyway I’m being too depressing. What to do, what to do. This only wasted five mins. I think I will play a couple of apps. It’ll only take ten minutes, I think.

I need to set up my whiteboard too. I’ll take a walk today too. “Take” that always sounded funny to me. How does one take a walk? Certainly not lying down. Okay that was barely even a joke. Sorry. I’m taking the piss as it were.

5 seconds into SeaPort and there’s an ad to double rewards. I wanna watch it for the stuff. Frick though, it’s glitched. I don’t want to watch a three minute ad. Why can’t they sort this out properly before implementing the change? I don’t (well I do really) have the time for this. Gosh I love typing random nonsense. Thank god a thirty-second ad has now loaded this time.

Talking of implementing things, Apple seem to have implemented a thing or stricter grammatical help in Pages. Maybe they’ve seen the ads for that Grammarly thing on YouTube that’s always on. You know the one with the really stilted actors who are probably reading some random stupid idiot’s review from the internet. “I like grammarly” “It’s really good” “My dog has worms” etc…

Thinking of how to get back on Twitter. I make everything so complicated. I want to do a few Gifs that tell a kind of story. Like the terminator regaining its mind or something. I also like the crawling one but that was kind of me during my hospital time. Just crawling on, regardless.

I watched Billy Connolly 1994 this morning. It was good. It kind of gives me nostalgia from my childhood perhaps. Like it’s kind of sunny out too. It’s a bit… almost a bit like the six weeks holiday. I must work though. I don’t know if this counts as work but it feels right at least. At least perhaps. I’m never sure of anything really. It’s quite sad in all aspects… OH SHUTTUP ANDREW WE BOTH KNOW THAT’S BULLSHIT! Just get on with it all. Dumbo. I want some AirPods badly. I know I’d use them all the time. Maybe even when out walking too. They’re quite concealable you see or hard to notice I mean. Good keyboard. It’s not so bad typing on this keyboard once one gets used to it. It feels a little small for me though. I’d like to try out an old laptop I have though. Just to see if it’s any more comfortable. [Edit 13-02-19: This is because of a book I was reading about writing called: “How to Write Your First Novel” by Sophie King. The book mentioned trying different tools, as it were, to write with. Keyboards, pens, etc… Funnily enough, I usually write my blogs out by hand before typing them up. A keyboard is faster, however, as the writer goes on to also say herself.]

[Edit 18-02-19: I’ll put in a quote here from the book… oooh, this is like university again. King (2014: 10-11) writes:

“Writing Tools Personally speaking, I write best on my laptop. In fact, I can’t write very well on paper any more. But that’s because I’ve been using my keyboard for years now thanks to my original training as a journalist. I find it faster - my fingers fly across the letters in a way they couldn’t if I wrote on paper and that means my pace is more immediate and I can get my ideas out without forgetting them.

The golden rule about writing on a keyboard is to always, always, back up. This means saving your work somewhere else apart from your computer in case it breaks or is stolen. One tip is to email yourself with your novel file. You should then be able to access this from another computer if something happens to yours. I do this - and I also email it to my daughter with the words DO NOT READ! Alternatively, you could save it to a memory stick, although you need to make sure you don’t lose it.

However, I have friends at the top of the Bestseller lists who can only write on paper. They then type up afterwards. Some people pay others to do that for them, although obviously this is going to cost. However - and forgive me if this sounds basic - an agent and publisher won’t consider a piece if it isn’t typed.”

That was a long bloody quote but I believe most of it was relevant. It’s 19-02-19 now… no joke. It was already late anyway.]

This is almost a Tumblr a day speed. JUST WRITE PEOPLE! WHATEVER IT MAY BE ABOUT IT DOESN’T MATTER! I want this to be inspirational in a kind of way. Not just dreary drivel but like I’m slowly getting somewhere. Somewhere maybe out of my comfort zone but safe. If you know what I mean. Like a steady income job kind of way… hint hint. Getting paid for diary entries. How luzurious. Ha Lazurious. I meant Luxurious.

I think also the barrier may be that I think it won’t go anywhere. As a dream it stays perfect and the “what if” can be a good outcome. Reality has a way of sucking life out of you sometimes. In any case let’s move on. To what I don’t know.

YouTube has automatically gone onto Pogo music. It’s really good music and the edits are amazing. I’ve linked them before on Twitter but I could put a few at the end here too. Yup (this makes me happy), another Tumblr here has just formed by luck and happenstance. I don’t even need to release this yet. I can stack them. I definitely want to hand write one at some point too though. For this Wednesday. That’s 6th February 2019 dependent on when you’re reading this. I love all this because it feels somewhat productive. Don’t judge me too harshly please. This is what I spend my time doing I just never feel confident in publishing any of it. I have like six-thousand notes on my phone too. Most of which are jumping off points (harhar) and ideas for short stories. I should work through all that too. This IS my work now. I love it and you. NOW SHUSH MUSHY.

Anyway, wow, from The Terminator (which I must watch again) to all this mushyness. AHEM. now I’m stuck on what to write. Stream of consciousness this is. Oh that’s a point, I want to be doing Waldowsky Readses. So that will include maybe Jane Eyre for starters I believe and my Tumblrs when I get around to it all. I’d like to read Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland too. Talking of Pogo that’s what they use in their vids sometimes. I love when Alice says: “That explains the troubles that I’m always in.” For me it’s heartbreaking. A realisation of one’s predicament in life or just existing I mean. That explains it and she tears up. It’s like (MGS REFERENCE INCOMING) when Otacon says: “It’s no use.” Like fighting as hard as one can and then grinding to a slow halt. Although it’s like settling. Like a night of struggling and then the sun rises. You just pip the post. That’s what it takes. All until you cannot fight anymore and settle in. Acceptance of one’s position in the world. In any case, shuttup now thats just over one thousand words. BIG HUG! See you sometime soon on here. On the line.

My name’s Waldowski/y and thank you for reading this, whoever you may be.

I may explain the Waldowsky thing later on. For the time being let my reasoning be that I just think it looks better that way. It suits me that way. You can pronounce it how you like by the way but it simply can be exactly the same. Or with an emphasis on the SKY. That sounds nice, wall-doe-sky. It sounds a little silly which is fine and suits me perfectly too. Silly is good. Weird Al oh yeah Grumps had him on that I haven’t watched okay thats’s the end I’ve gotta go now… not really but shush. Join in the charade. DARE TO BE STOOPID!

Bibliography (oooh, spangly):

King, S. (2014) How to Write Your First Novel, Robinson.

Links:

POGO - Bloom

POGO - Carpet Ride

POGO & JEESH - The Trouble

POGO - Grow Fonder

POGO - redruM

Bonus