#but goddamn wireless headphones are quickly becoming a rage response for me

[childoferebus]

time to get heated on an otherwise innocuous post, but wireless headphones are one of the worst, most insidious products to come out in recent times but because they had one of the best marketing pushes of all times they've been universally accepted and I HATE IT.

A small disclaimer here: if you like and use wireless headphones, more power to you! I'm glad you like them, really!

Don't get me wrong, I have a pair of wireless earbuds for work (Cambridge Audio Melomania Touches, 2/10, do not fucking buy these things, but that's a different rant for a different day that is only tangentially related to the fact that they're wireless bluetooth buds.) I do use wireless and I see the appeal. They're nice to have around so you don't get tangled on things, don't pull your headphones off (or out) at mach 3 speeds, you can put your phone somewhere safe so it's not in danger of water/dust/damage/etc. That's great! That's useful!

And in every other sense they're garbage, intended to be garbage, and that's exactly how big companies want it.

From a purely technical point of view, they're a downgrade in every sense. They lag, the latency is an issue, they have to be continuously charged or they won't work. The sound quality is horrendous because you can't fit a sizeable DAC (digital-analog converter) into such a small package and can't crib off of your device's DAC with a connected wire. Not only is the battery of your headphones a consideration, so is the battery of your music device, because bluetooth is a battery hog. The microphones are always crunchy and fizzly, to the point that a $300 pair of wireless headphones can't compete with a pair of $25 wired earbuds. These issues would be bad enough on their own in isolation, but then you bring in the Big Reason Companies Want You To Use Bluetooth:

You'll need to replace them consistently for the rest of your life, which means Apple/Samsung/Google/Whoever has one hand in your wallet and they hardly even have to work for it.

A good pair of wired headphones will last you decades, assuming you treat them with any amount of care. I've used headphones that were built in the 1970s and aside from some changes in speaker manufacturing, they worked fine.

You could baby a pair of wireless headphones, never drop them, never sweat on them, only use them for a few hours a day and somehow never misplace one (or the whole set, as is the case for a set of over-ears) and they are still nothing more than e-waste. The battery has a finite lifespan and once it's done, it's done. Then your expensive pair of headphones (because you paid more for bluetooth privileges) are wiped out and whoops, you gotta get a new pair. Thus the cycle continues. This doesn't even account for loss, damage, bugs, or defects. God save you if you blow them out.

This is GREAT for these big companies. Look at how many things can go wrong! Planned obsolescence is the name of the game and not only did they con consumers into buying this trash, they charged them extra and called it convenience! This doesn't even touch on what a nightmare these things are to the environment. (Yes, I know they can be recycled. How many people do you think are recycling them and not just throwing them in the trash?)

Yeah, wired headphones are kind of a pain in the ass. They've got built-in issues of their own, I'm not saying they're perfect. But goddamn, I'd take my Mezes over AirpodsMax every day of the week.