#but god doesn't see him fit into her grand plan

[bardicious]

Obsessed with Angel Crowley being banished from Heaven because he asked God why the universe had to be destroyed. Being sent to a place that makes the peoples', of said universe, lives worse. It's no wonder he does everything but that.

[k0juki]

Good things take time

Joost Klein x fem!reader

English is not my first language, so feel free to point out any mistakes or errors! Also the pictures is not mine! Credit goes to owner! Not edited! Also BIG thanks to the @catherinewithu!! Couldn't do it without her.

Summary: If you promise something, you have to keep it. But even Joost makes a promise and doesn't keep it, just like you.

Warnings: alcohol, both sad y/n and Joost, mentions of sex but nothing is here!

A/n: I have mixed feelings about this xdd. Idk if it's happy ending...

Wc: 2.8k

---

Joost. Joost fucking Klein. That man was always very charming and he didn't even have to try. He was always the center of attention whereas you were just somewhere back, trying to fit in. Looking for your kind of people that lay back just like you. And if a year back someone would have said to you, that you're going to be in love with this man, you wouldn't believe them. Probably laugh in their face. You and Joost? Ha, you could never... could you?

He was the god of the party. Whenever he walked into a room, it was like the atmosphere shifted. People gravitated towards him, drawn by his effortless charm and infectious energy. He had this way of making everyone feel like they were the most important person in the world, even if just for a moment. Yeah, you know, Joost.

You and him met pretty easily, not in some grand, starstruck way, but through friends. It was at one of those low-key gatherings that start with a few people and end up with the entire social circle crammed into a living room. Joost was in his element, entertaining the crowd with stories and jokes. You watched him, intrigued by how natural it all seemed to him.

As the night went on, you and him somehow ended up in the same conversation circle. It wasn't long before you were chatting like old friends that have always known each other. He asked about your interests, your thoughts on music, movies, and life in general that night. And you found yourself opening up more than you usually did, his genuine interest made it easy.

Then, you started seeing each other more frequently. Your encounters were never planned, but always felt serendipitous. You ran into each other at the shop center, at friends' houses, and even at the grocery store. Each meeting felt natural, unforced, but then it wasn't just for talking and sharing stories. Now, you and Joost were friends, but with benefits. Of course you didn't mind at all at first. But after some time you wasn't so sure anymore. At first it was just because of some release. But after some time, you started to feel some...things.

Then came the night of this unforgettable party. You didn't want to come here at all, but your friend, f/n, she promised it's going to be just for a few hours and that Joost is going to be here as well. Maybe, that's why you actually agreed to go here. She knew about you and Joost, and how you actually felt about him. But she promise to not say anything.

Joost was, as usual, the center of attention. But this time, at this party, it felt different. Every time your eyes met across the room, there was a spark, a silent understanding that something was shifting between you and him. You watched him laugh, dance, and engage with everyone, yet somehow, it felt like he was always aware of where you were and what you were doing, of who you were speaking with and when you looked at him.

It was like sixth sense.

It started to get hot here, or maybe it was just the alcohol that flowed through your blood. Either way, you needed some fresh air, so you excused yourself from your friend that was just as tipsy as you and you made your way out by the back door that went to the garden. There wasn't anyone, but it wasn't so surprising. Whole party was thrown inside because of the cooler weather.

Enjoying the muffled sounds of a party in the house behind you, you were startled when you felt someone's hand on your hip.

"Hey, hey, easy here. It's just me."

Joost.

"You scared me for life." Turning your head to look at him, you notice how his pupils were big.

"I'm sorry princess, I will try not to scare you away from me." You laughed it off. He was definitely a teaser. It was in his nature, to make people laugh, to forget everything, to enjoy their time with him.

"What are you doing here so alone, hm?" He whispered in the cold night and ran his hand that he had on your hip up and down. To warm you a bit. "It's cold out here."

"I know, but I needed some fresh air. I couldn't breathe in there." You said and pointed back at the house. Leaning your head on his shoulder you closed your eyes, but the drinks that your friend made you drink with her were a little bit stronger for your liking, so whenever you closed your eyes you felt the whole world spin, just like right now.

"Yeah, you're right." Joost put his chin on the top of your head after he kissed it, just as you relaxed in his hold. You always enjoyed his presence, but it wasn't just because of his personality, it was because he made you feel things that you believed that were never there. He was different, he made you feel different. Like no-one else before had. He lifted his hand from your hip and placed it on your arm, "You're cold." he said and raised his head for yours.

"It's nothing." You chuckled, "I will manage." you tried to assure him, but your skin was really ice cold.

"Yeah, in bed with a fever tomorrow morning. Come on, let's get inside." He took your hand in his and together you made your way to the house. He let you go in first, holding the door open for you like a true gentleman he is with a smile on his face. "Lady's first."

You returned his smile, never letting go of his hand. It wasn't strange for you to hold his hand and kiss here and there, but you weren't together, it made some people questioned your real relationship. But what they didn't know was that you and Joost have been sleeping with each other from time to time. And you had to admit, you were totally scared of your future with him.

He doesn't feel love. He never felt that way. You knew it because before you and him started to sleep together, you and him made a promise to not catch feelings, it's just gonna be about a sex. Nothing more, nothing less. And you knew you had crossed that line, but you couldn't tell him anything. That would ruin everything, it would have ruined you. So you swallowed your feelings and told yourself to not, ever, let or somehow show your feelings for him. Even though it hurts you.

"I need to find f/n. She's somewhere here and I need to stop her from doing something stupid." You told Joost and he actually laughed at that because he knew her and what she was capable of.

"That sounds like a good idea. I will be in the living room if you want to look for me after you find her." Joost winked at you with smug on his pretty face and left you here standing with red cheeks. No matter how many times he had flirted with you, you always gave in and let his charm affect you.

---

It took you some time to find f/n, but you also have found some other friends that were looking after her as well. They were leaving and told you they are taking f/n home too.

"Noo, Y/n I don't wanna go home." f/n pouted and hugged you before others basically dragged her off of you.

"You have to. I will text you in the morning, okay?"

She protested, but eventually gave in. Leaving the party and looking forward to your text when you will be leaving.

You went to the kitchen and poured yourself a drink, not so strong this time and then you started looking for another person, Joost. But he already told you where he's going to be. Making your way through bodies to the living room, you greeted some faces you recognised. Sending friendly smiles and little waves. But just as you stepped to the living room, you couldn't help the shock that went thru you.

He was sitting here with some girl. No, the girl was sitting on his lap and what was even worse, they were making out. How his left hand was running through her hair and how his other hand was on her waist, keeping her closer, just like he did before with you. All you could do was watch the scene before you.

"Y/n?" Joost's voice was barely making any sense, but he knew that was you who he was kissing right now. He was so sure of it.

"Actually I'm Mila."

"You're not Y/n? My Y/n?"

"I can be her, if that's what you want."

"You're not her?" Joost asked the girl that he assumed was you, but she pulled him back to kiss her. He wasn't complaining, but he was hoping that was you who he was kissing right now and not some random chick.

When they pulled away to breathe, Joost looked around the room and saw you standing in the back with a shocked face and how it, in a matter of seconds, turned into a pained expression. That was the real you. You weren't sitting in his lap right now.

What were you thinking?

It hurt. It all hurt so much. You really thought he felt something for you, just like you did for him. But you were wrong, so, so wrong. "Y/n?" His words were slurred. "C'mon it was just for fun, you know that right?"

Drunk words are sober thoughts.

You heard him say somewhere towards you in his now drunk state, you couldn't even properly look at him, all you could do in that moment was to turn around and leave. On your way out of the house, you passed by people that gave you this kind of sympathy look. Did they think you and him were together too? You weren't, and he made that crystal clear.

"Y/N!" He was calling for you to stop, but you didn't. "Y/n! Can you stop for a second?!"

"What!? What is it Joost!?" You turned to him, stopping in your tracks. Barely holding tears in your eyes.

"What's wrong with you?!" Joost almost shouted, but held himself back because of other people near you two.

"What is wrong with me?" You had to ask. "With me?"

"Yeah, you're acting like I fucked that girl right infront of you, and even if I did, we're not together so it doesn't matter."

"I can't believe this." You avoided eye contact with him. "I'm such an idiot." Whispering, you looked down, letting the tears freely fall.

"What? So it's mine fault?"

"No it's mine."

An awkward silence was between you two.

Joost sighed looking down and put his hands on his hips. "Look Y/n, let's just get inside, get some drinks and forget about it. It wasn't that big of a deal anyway." He insisted and took a few steps towards you, trying to reach for you, but you backed down. You turned back around and said.

"Yeah, you're right, it's not that big of a deal anyway."

With that, you made your way home.

---

That was two days ago, and from that time you felt like shit. You barely slept and eating food was bad too. F/n was worried about you, she insisted on talking to him, herself or you. But everytime she threatened, you told her to stop. That you're going to deal with it by yourself. She stopped after that.

Two fucking days.

Your phone was blowing with missed calls and hundreds of unread texts from Joost, but you didn't want to talk to him. Not right now. His words still hurt you. "It's not that big of deal anyway." Yes, you promised something to each other, but his words hunt you.

As you laid in your bed and re-thinking every detail of that night, soft knocking brought you out of your head. At first you didn't want to get up and answer, if it's important then they will try it later.

But the soft knocking was getting louder and more annoying. You slowly got up and made your way to the door. Ready to scream on anyone that was behind them.

"Y/n?"

That made you stop in your tracks. Joost? What was he doing here? You didn't want him near you at all. That's why you distanced everyone.

"Y/n, open the door."

His knocking stopped and you saw his shadow under the door and how he was stepping from one side to another.

"Open the door. Please."

Joost begged. And that's something you never heard from him before. Part of you wanted to let him in and hug him, but the other not at all.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said that night." You heard him say behind the door. Him still waiting for you to open to him.

"You didn't say anything wrong. Only truth." You muttered on the other side.

"Yeah, but..." He sighed and leaned his head on the door. Closing his eyes for a moment before speaking again. "You didn't deserve that."

That made you cry. He was right, you didn't deserve it like that.

"I hear you cry." He lifted his head from the door and tried to open them again. "Please don't cry."

"You made me look so fucking stupid." You cried more. "I thought...I thought that we-"

"I'm sorry."

You took the handle and slowly opened the door, letting that awkward silence spread all around you and him.

"What do you want from me?" You finally asked as your eyes were red and swollen from crying for the past two days. Just like his.

"I don't know." He admitted. "Probably everything..."

"That's a lot."

"I know I want you in my life." He began. "I'm scared that if I told you how I feel, you're going to leave me like everyone else."

"And why would I do that?"

He didn't say anything to that. Like you had caught him off of guard. But that didn't mean that you felt any better. You wouldn't admit it, but you didn't feel better.

"My heart always seems to be disappointed." You admitted quietly, letting it sink in. "Maybe it was made just to be shattered into thousands pieces."

"No, no, don't say that. It's not the truth, you don't believe that." His eyes were pleasing yours to say otherwise, but he didn't find what he was looking for in them. "Do you?"

"What if I believe in that?"

Now you were more scared of his silence than your damaged heart. Is this it? Is this the very end of yours and Joosts path?

"Are you going to say something?"

"I'm sorry." He stepped closer and opened the door fully. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, I don't know what I was doing...I was drunk a-and I know that it doesn't change anything, but I'm still so sorry and I need you to know it." He kneeled before you and hugged your waist. Trapping you in his hold.

"Joost." You didn't know what to say. Or what to do at that moment.

"I love you." He breathed out. "I don't want you to disappear from my world, because you are my world."

You stopped breathing for a moment. He loves you? Joost loves you? From all of the people he knows and ever met, he loves you?

"I need you to know how I feel." Joost admitted and held your legs tighter. "I should have said that sooner."

---

A/n: I could do better.

Don't copy or translate my work!

[error4343]

Questions

CW: gore & blood It all will end where it began - at Snake Meadow Hill Church Love letter for @zzoupz John loves you AU

Don't be afraid, preacher. I hear His voice loud and clear now. He's welcoming you. And so do I. It's our last opportunity to talk before my Ascension. So ask, don't make Him wait

What you want to ask about?

John You don't recognise my face, Miller? I'm John Thomas Ward, a servant of His, just like you. I condemned myself to God since young age and, under guidance of father Garcia, learned true ways of preaching and serving His will. I was priest of false church before you, cowards, threw me away from God's home. But I hold no anger.

Snake Meadow Hill Church Too predictable, isn't it? Sentimental even. I was thinking the same when we moved here. Still, this place more fitting than anything: it's cradle of my own faith.

What you want to ask about?

Horned twins Ah, will-o-wisps. You're not the first whom they brought here. My apologize if they caused you any trouble. I couldn't deny them their fun.

"Him" I see. You forgot for whom you've been praying to. Don't be ashamed: you're not the first or last one to went astray. Recall: Him is above, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. If only you weren't so afraid, you would hear His voice though mine.

What you want to ask about?

Lisa Pearson Made not for caring His will on her shoulders, but for guide us towards it. A sinless lamb, iconographer, send to us long ago even before I knew my destiny. She was closer to absolute pureness that anyone of us could get. She was the one whom Initiation you interrupted, but it doesn't metter now. Everything went according to plan. She's with Him now, speaking with us from above.

The Ascension The Ascension isn't some bloody mess as you describe in church guidelines. It's delicate, precise process of hard work. And in the end - He grands His blessing. Firstly, one must clean themselves from any sin. For each sin there's way of redemption. Not just penance: for pride, lust and warth - mortification of flesh, for greed - poverty of monkhood, for envy - condemnation to another, for gluttony - everlasting fest, for sloth - work. Cleaning can take years… But you will know when you're ready.

Then comes the Ascension. No need to describe - you about to witness it. Participate, even.

Oh, how nice of you were to visit us today.

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

ix. i'm so sick of running as fast as i can

— the one where they painted you out to be bad (so it's okay that you're mad).

warnings: fair warning you're going to be pissed, foul language, this one has more media between text and it's a little long. 2.3k words (+articles and a very long youtube thing!!)

currently playing: it's time to go by taylor swift!

masterlist ✢ next

By Alana Blake

YOU read it here first, friends. #YNCHARLES is still going strong even after the mess y/n found herself in during the Spanish Grand Prix weekend.

Rumor had it that after y/n's declarations where she said 'it was not serious' and 'she was just having fun', the Monegasque heartthrob dumped her immediately. This was fueled by the fact that we didn't see any pictures of them together during such weekend.

But sources have come to the rescue, letting us all know they're not broken up! "They talk every day for hours," our source said, "Both are still trying to keep it fun but more lowkey after everyone found out about the cheating."

RELATED: Victoria Presley's top five beauty hacks.

You would think that after a partner refers to you as a 'toy', dumping them is the best course of action, but apparently that doesn't apply to Mr. Leclerc who has "nothing but good things to say about y/n".

"He's excited to see her in New York before the Canada Grand Prix, they have it all planned out since she has her apartment back." The source added.

One thing is for sure, if we see y/n at the next Grand Prix, that's the big confirmation that they are together, since they blew their Elix cover by forcing them to end the contract.

SEE ALSO:

→ Victoria Presley's inauguration after party at the Grand Havana Room, you just had to be there.

→ Taylor Swift defends y/n y/ln: ''All of you have learned nothing!"

→ Aidan Kim on Charles Leclerc: "Never heard of him until my girlfriend cheated on me"

𝙂𝙊𝙏 𝙎𝙊𝙈𝙀𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 𝙎𝘼𝙔? 𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙑𝙀 𝘼 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏 𝘽𝙀𝙇𝙊𝙒!

You're seeing the top comments.

Anonymous – 4 hr ago

They're both so shameless! and charles was liking tweets saying they were friends like he could really trick us.

kollhha – 3 hr ago

I hate her, Charles dump her ass for the love of god.

adriennewells – 40 min ago

no but seriously what is it about y/n that has men brainwashed?

Anonymous – 10 min ago

They WOULD be cute together, i don't think they're dating though.

June 10th, Los Angeles, California

You fit your life for the past months into two suitcases, and a carry on. Your room at Vic's house is messy and it feels strangely empty without your discarded shoes and dirty laundry on the floor. But it's time to go, you cannot impose your presence in this enormous house anymore. You have felt like an intruder since you started traveling to Formula 1 and coming back every week like this is your hotel and not your best friend's home.

"Are you really going back to New York?" Vic asks from behind you, voice low with sadness.

"Yes, Vic, I have to." you sigh, turning to meet her. She's dressed up in her fucsia workout gear, holding a light ring in her left hand and her phone in the right. Your flight leaves in the evening and you were hoping to have a meal with Vic before parting to the airport, but it looks like she's all booked.

"No you don't," she argues, entering the room. "Hollywood is here, y/n why do you need to go back to New York? You're an actress!"

You feel like a lot of things, except for an actress right now.

"I don't think Hollywood wants me right now, Vic," you say, going back to the unmade bed to lie down. You asked the cleaning lady if she could leave your room for last so you could finish picking your stuff up, and she agreed gently. "Plus, I really miss New York."

"y/n you haven't even visited my store, you can't go!" Vic's tone changes in octave, and it's not her whiny 'please don't do this' tone you're so used to. "I asked you for ONE favor and you're running to New York and you can't do even just that?"

"Woah, Vic, what the fuck?" you use your elbows as support to lean up and look at her. "Calm down. It's okay." you know her tantrum comes from the fact that she truly believes you could boost her beauty line sales and make her store a 'hot spot'. And it would work, for the wrong reasons. You don't want Vic being dragged down into this mess too. Mati and Charles are enough casualties.

"NO IT'S NOT!" Victoria is full-on yelling now, the light ring has been tossed aside. "I have given everything you've asked from me in the past months since your life started falling apart. I think I deserve something in return."

You ignore the bite of her words. She's angry, which is understandable to some level. She doesn't mean it, right? That she always expected something in return.

"Vic, listen, I know how important your store is to you. But I promise you, you don't want the attention I'm bringing to anyone close to me right now."

"Oh, so you're doing this for my own good now?" she scoffs, ponytail flying in the air as she turns around. "Are you fucking Charles Leclerc for his own good too? Or do men's reputations don't matter?" she spits.

You halt completely, halfway out of the mattress. "What did you say?"

"Oh, please y/n. You really want me to believe you don't want to be seen with me to 'protect me'" she throws the quotations in the air, "And yet you went on your pretty vacation with that bitch Matilde, and you talk to fucking Charles Leclerc every day!"

"Victoria, stop," your brain is a mix of anger, sadness and confusion. You’re having trouble catching up to the where the conversation is going. "That was different, Vic. In case you haven't noticed, things can't stop getting worse. My life is not good right now." You choke on the last words, because it's the first time you say such things out loud. You have never been more miserable.

Victoria scoffs yet again, and it’s a tear in your heart. She's really not backing off. "Of course your life isn't good y/n wah, wah. You have money and beauty and a pilot boyfriend, it sucks so much to be you!"

"Why are you so bothered about it? Why is Charles the main problem here?" you wipe the tears from your cheeks, scratching the skin with one of your rings. "Why the fuck are you acting like this?"

Everything was alright this morning at breakfast, when you reminded her you were leaving and your luggage was almost done. When you thanked her for taking you in and told her you could never really repay her support.

"Because you get everything you want all the time!" Victoria stomps to you, her face inches away when she stops. "You always get what you want no matter what. It didn't even matter that I said you view him as a fucking piece of meat! He still went after you."

The world moves in slow-motion as her words cascade on you. Your lungs close and your throat tightens again, and you want to fight the panic attack because you just know Victoria is not going to help you. How could she? If she's the one who betrayed you.

"How–Why–" you stutter, the hem of your shirt on your fist. You can fight this. "How could you do this to me?"

Victoria finally comes to the realization of what she let out, and covers her mouth. "y/n no– look–"

"Who told you about the ring?" your jaw is locked and you're trying not to lose focus. "How could you tell them about the ring?!"

"How could you not tell ME?! I'm your fucking best friend, you bitch!" she's raising her voice again, her surprise pushed aside because you're still fighting. "I had to find out through Aidan, months later."

The Cannes party. Of course.

You thought about asking her about it. Telling her it hurt you that she hung out so happily with Aidan when he was the reason you arrived at her house one night in February, frightened, sad, and confused. But you didn't because you trusted her. You would have trusted Victoria with your life at some point.

"It really is you, then," tears are streaming down your face again.

You feel stupid because only yesterday, in another rage-scroll through Twitter, you noticed people were already making theories about how it was Victoria who was selling information about you. And you felt so offended, how could they think your best friend would do that to you?

"How could you, Victoria? How could you make all that shit up?"

You talked to Victoria about the articles. You cried and told her you were sorry you didn’t let her in on the failed proposal, it was something you were still processing and couldn’t bring yourself to talk about, still wondering if it had been a mistake every now and then. You told her how sorry you felt to Charles because he just wanted to hang out with you—to be friends with you—and people marked him down as a home wrecker when he had nothing to do with it.

“It was definitely Mia though, wasn’t it?” She said as she rubbed your back and passed the box of tissues to you. “She always hated you, so weird. It was like she loved Aidan in a fucked up way.” Victoria even shuddered exaggeratedly, trying to make you laugh.

“Yeah I’m sure it was Mia, Aidan just won’t admit it.” You let her wipe your tears and smooth your hair down. Nobody could convince you that your ex-sister-in-law didn’t run to People and spewed shit. It was the most logical conclusion that Aidan was protecting his little sister.

This had been three days ago, she lied and made fun of you, to your face.

"So now I'm a liar? You are fucking Charles Leclerc! Or what, you expect me to believe all you do is hold hands and peck each other's cheeks?"

Again with Charles, it infuriates you.

"You told the press I'm a cheater! And I am NOT with Charles, God you're so stupid!"

"How would I know whether it's true or not? You never tell me anything anymore, do you? You don't care about me! I'm your best friend. I deserve to be your priority!"

"You deserve to rot in hell, you lying bitch." you don't even raise your voice anymore, "How could I ever love you?"

Victoria laughs, and your heart finally shatters. "I would do it again, y/n, because it's what you forced me to do."

The apartment is a mess, and you know it's on purpose. Your clothes are everywhere, the dirt from the plants you kept on the balcony is all over the floor, the coffee table is broken and your room looks like a hurricane passed through. Your coffee maker and your Specialty coffee both lie on the floor of the kitchen, and there is a horrible smell coming from the fridge. Aidan hasn't been gone long enough for things to rot to that extent, especially because every appliance is plugged in.

You don't want to look at the rest of the house, or your belongings. All you do is lean down to pick up your Moka pot, and make time to think, but you're unable to stand straight again. It's like the pain is pulling you down. How did your life become this?

A ruined apartment, a rejected engagement and a backstabbing best friend are things that happen in the movies. You would know. This wasn't supposed to happen to you.

Crying in that ruined kitchen, holding a Moka pot like it's your greatest treasure and not some piece of trash that you will never be able to use anymore, you get angry, furious. Because this is not your life and it was never supposed to be. And it's about time you start doing something about it.

You are sick of running. Of having people question you for not 'defending' yourself when you have no reason to be attacked in the first place. Relationships die, and yours had been past its time to be buried. Saying no is not a crime. And it never will be.

Victoria had burned her own thread with you in the worst way possible because you didn't make her the only person in your life. And you had overlooked every time you felt used by her, unloved, and tossed aside. Friends can break your heart too, and Victoria had ripped yours out of your chest.

Nobody has to tell you who you are, because you know. And you are nothing of what you've let tabloids, netizens and reporters say. You cannot keep running and you cannot keep hiding, and though you wish you had understood that earlier. It's never too late to pick yourself up.

Mildred and Walter are going to be pissed, but their advice was that you remained lowkey for however long it took Hollywood to get their next big scandal. Weeks, months, years.

And you're not about to scurry away into darkness like a rat.

FROM “JUST WATCH THIS” POSTED IN Y/N Y/LN'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL POSTED JUNE 12TH

[y/n,minute 01:30]: ❝...So I've finally decided to come here and tell you everything that has been happening for the past months. It's the truth, but whether you believe it is a personal choice.❞

[y/n,minute 05:56]: ❝It was a three-year dead-end relationship. You cannot, and should not, have a future with someone who laughs at your dreams, and tells you how you should behave and how to look to exalt him.❞

[y/n, minute 07:15]: ❝I said no. And I have not regret it for one second. I didn't tell anyone because I respect Aidan, although I don't think that is reciprocal by now.❞

[y/n, minute 10:01]: ❝I never cheated on him, and I know the source of those rumors. It breaks my heart to know that someone I trusted made up stuff about myself, and a part of my life that was so important to me. I am not telling you who it was, however, I will take legal action against them if the defamation continues.❞

[y/n, minute 14:54]: ❝Aidan decided to tell this person about our failed engagement, and I do not know if his intention was that this all became public. But I wish he'd been mature enough to handle it privately, like the adults we both are.❞

[y/n, minute 16:59]: ❝I started attending Formula 1 races because of an Ambassador contract I held with Elix until three days ago, when they decided to rescind it.❞

[y/n, minute 18:07]: ❝That's where I met both Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz, back in April. Since they are the drivers for Ferrari, we spent a lot of time in the same place, which led to us becoming friends.❞

[y/n, minute 19:04]: ❝Charles Leclerc is my friend and we are not romantically involved, I urge you to stop making stuff up about him too. He never messed with my past relationship, we did not know each other.❞

[y/n, minute 21:55]: ❝When all of this started, I believed—naively— that it could just die down on its own. I am an actress. I was not only 'Aidan Kim's girlfiend' and I am not only his ex-girlfriend now. I am y/n y/ln.❞

[y/n, minute 23:31]: ❝I should have spoken sooner. I should have shut everything down the moment I started feel miserable and out of control. But I also know, I was being crucified so badly because I am a woman.❞

[y/n, minute 26:00]: ❝You have made me feel miserable and anxious, I have suffered from panic attacks and sleepless nights. And I'm not saying this to make you all feel bad and regretful, because the one thing you lack the most is empathy.❞

[y/n, minute 28:45]: ❝But I want you all to think that, if it had been the other way around and Aidan hadn't wanted to marry me, you would have said 'he wasn't ready' and you would have let him move on and find "The One" in peace.❞

[y/n, minute 31:35]: ❝If it was Timothee Chalamet—whom I also have a deep appreciation for—doing RomComs and nothing more, you would call it 'his specialty' and never question his talent.❞

[y/n, minute 33:17]: ❝If I was a man, this wouldn't have killed my reputation.❞

[y/n, minute 36:21]: ❝I will not remain quiet anymore while you step on me and diminish my work. I do not owe anything to Aidan Kim except for the drama the past months have brought me.❞

[y/n, minute 38:11]: ❝I'm going to focus on the future. And I am well aware this will be continue to be a topic of conversation, but I am not scared anymore. Because I know who I am and who I can count on.❞

[y/n, minute 40:12]: ❝If it weren't for my fans, who have been fighting my battles so hard, I wouldn't be here either. They're here for me, and I can never repay such pure love.❞

[y/n, minute 42:22]: ❝If you watched up to here, I'm sure you're wondering whether you should believe all of this, and like I said, it's all up to you❞

[y/n, minute 44:50]: ❝I will not be speaking about Aidan Kim again, so I ask you to refrain from asking about him. It's all been said and done, and I'm eager to move on.❞

[END]

You are looking at the all the comments.

aidanbabes WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH EVEN ON

flowerbedkim Oh so now Aidan forced her to be with him? Bullshit. You are never saving your lying ass y/n, fuck you!!!!!

thatbitch123 You are absolutely right y/n if you were a man this wouldn’t have happened it's so sad

ynbabes2 my queen i waited for you to speak for so long!!! WE HAVE TO MOVE ON FROM THIS

leclercstar you all have made this girl's life absolute hell, i hope you never find peace!! I'm glad she's friends with Charles and Carlos.

presleyvibes wait and you thank people but not Vic who let you stay at her house? you're an ungrateful bitch

albstappen I saw her pic with Lily Muni and I just knew she was one of the good ones

ynmybeloved EVERY TONGUE THAT RISES AGAINST YN SHALL FALL

kim41d4an IT'S YOUR WORD AGAINST AIDAN'S YOU CHEATING WHORE

June 12th, SoHo, New York.

You are trying to clean the mess around you as best you can. And although you could call someone to help you, sweeping and scrubbing keeps you busy and distracted. The first message you received after posting the video was from Mati a 'proud of you xx, tell me all about it later please!' text that made you take your first deep breath of the afternoon. You made an appointment with a doctor first thing in the morning, you want the panic to go away, you need it to.

Thoughts of how they're destroying you again, calling you a liar and a whore, swarm your brain and you try to toss them in the trash along with your ruined Dolce & Gabbana coat, mysteriously cut up with scissors. You told the truth, and not even the whole of it.

The video is being shown everywhere, you're sure you'll see it tomorrow in Good Morning America where they'll dissect every single move you make and every word that comes out of your mouth.

It's almost 9 pm when you finally stop wiping the apartment down, trying to get rid of every sign that Aidan Kim was ever inside it. It's not true that he paid for the apartment, you picked it yourself and made it a home and then he chose to come and live here, paying the rent once every three to five months. This is your home and you are reclaiming it.

Your phone rings and you take another deep breath before picking it up. Mildred and Walter have resorted to communicate with you through email, so you wonder who it is. Victoria called a few times during the weekend, left voicemails and text messages until you blocked her. Each of them with a new excuse and a more creative way to pin all of what she had done, on you.

It's a FaceTime call from Charles.

"Charlie!" you greet with a smile, before the image of him loads completely. "It's 3 am in Monaco, what the hell are you doing awake?"

Charles shrugs and you notice his bare shoulders, he's shirtless. You're suddenly self-conscious about the way you look. With your hair sticking up from the sweat, your greasy face and ragged shirt. It's a silly worry.

"I wanted to talk to you," he says, and you know he's tired. "I saw your video earlier, but I was doing something else."

"Oh, you saw that."

"I'm proud of you y/n, you are brave for speaking your mind like that. I know it must have taken some effort." Charles moves again and you see his chest, he's already in bed.

"Charles, go to sleep, we can talk about this later," you chuckle, heat is rising to your face.

"I wanted to see you y/n, it doesn't matter what time it is. And I really wanted to tell you I'm glad you posted that video."

"Thank you, Charlie. I should have done it sooner."

"The only one who knows what timing is right for you, is yourself."

"Yeah, I guess so." you sigh, you're exhausted too and you blame it more on the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through than deep cleaning your apartment.

"Are you tired?" he asks, suppressing a yawn.

"No more than you," you retort, but can't help yawning as well. It's a scientific fact that yawns are contagious. "Go to sleep, we can talk tomorrow."

You talked yesterday too, and the day before, and you cried so much on the phone again you thought he would eventually hang up until you calmed down. But Charles soothed you through the phone at 1 am Monaco time and told you to let it all out, and listened without interrupting you once how you called Aidan and Victoria every name in the book.

"Fine," Charles says, rubbing his left eye carelessly. "Will you give me a tour of your apartment tomorrow, then?"

"Yes! I finished cleaning it today!"

Charles laughs softly at your excitement. “We’ll talk tomorrow then, just because you need to sleep.”

“Sure I am the sleepy one,” you roll your eyes and Charles smiles, both dimples showing. “Goodnight Charlie, sweet dreams.” The last part you say it in a slightly mocking tone but Charles doesn’t take it as such, smile widening.

“Goodnight soleil,” he says and waits a few seconds for you to react to your newly given nickname before hanging up, anxious but satisfied.

─── team principal radio: ❝thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and are liking the story so far. We're slowly getting to the y/n redemption. Once again, i really appreciate all of your interactions they mean the world to me. Also check out the series playlist if you haven't♡❞

✰ paddock club members: @sassyheroneckgiant @flowerchild-96 @fangirlika @shegotboreddsoo @roseamongthorns13 @cissyp @chimchimjiminie16 @saturnsrinqs @roni-midnights @gayyvodka6 @studioreader @its-ash-not-grey @lu-morningstar @ferraribabe @reidsworld @feelslikestrawberries @celestialams @kosmosgalore @heeseung-baby @missenclod @buendiabebeta @mycenterfold @aces-tattooartist @burningrred @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @rainybabe25 @ru-kru @lazybot @teenagedreams-cl @cool-ultra-nerd @kuskumu @formulakay3 @bisexual-desi @somanyfandomsbruh @icarus-nex @haziefairy @xjval @xoxoloverb @sainzleclercs @headinthecloudssblog @incoherenciass @bookophiliac @torrie421 @nooshytushie @azxulaa @steephanie07 @anonymous8462 @tbisloneely @pukklv @bn7921 @be-your-coffee-pot @fdl305 @lovely-blackinnon @landonorizzz @ruleroftheuniverse @ivegotparticulartaste

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[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 23-26 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

Obligatory ShB spoiler warning.

The general status quo hasn't changed since Vivi's arrival to the First: he still doesn't feel any land under his feet, Exarch still doesn't inspire trust, although there's no reason to distrust him either. Vivi isn't in a rush to meet the Scions because usually their perspectives don't help him at all. Hence he fucks around in the Crystarium instead of doing the msq.

You can hear the sound of Exarch failing the dating sim once again.

Talking about a mystel. Bumping into a mystel. They could get run over by a stampede of cats at this point and Vivi would still think this guy's probably a hume. He genuinely has No Idea. Had he had an idea, he would be actually more tactful. Maybe.

Me: no graphic violence Also me: murder onscreen

I hope the reference to episode 11 is clear, but here's a refresher: that's what ARRRaha is mostly remembered as. For multiple reasons. Mostly for magically killing himself and giving Vivi some mild stress and an even milder blow to his ego.

Exarch's fate was to choke on his coffee there and then, he kept his composure by a miracle no less. Vivi doesn't know the meaning of what he just blurted out, he simply rolls the letters in his mouth, still struggling to remember "G'raha".

HE MANAGED! The embodiment of intelligence.

Vivi reflects on the events of previous episodes and the dangers of the fae folk, and decides to do a massive handwave at that. He's walking a fine line, but he legit doesn't care.

Canon emoji user 🖤

Exarch has a hate-hate relationship with sleep, however, when he feels like unwinding or resetting his mind, he turns to memories of moments when he felt safe enough to drift away.

He must've felt the most warm and human when the young Lyna stayed with him all the time.

I sat on this self-contained story for a year. Officially the most wholesome episode ever. There's a bit of One Piece influence, if you remember Nami's backstory. Gen-san wore a pinwheel on his cap to appear less scary to the little Nami, and cheer her up.

Someone read this as "crap glue", which brings me infinitely more joy than my original "craft glue" x'D

There's a super subtle smile. He knows. He probably sensed Lyna approaching him, but remained still to see where this goes.

Back to the present, where they refer to each other by titles.

He's g'oogling.

G'oogle results: 1 fae, 1 slacking idiot.

Exarch isn't just jealous or yearning, he's also kindaaaaa in the middle of his grand plan, yet his hero isn't keen of jumping into action? And he doesn't know how to confront him about that. Luckily, Urianger also happens to be in Il Mheg.

Vivi smacks a like on Urianger's outfit. Rated S for peak sluttiness.

Nobody talks about Feo Ul's snot bubble so I will x'D

Urianger doesn't wanna leave his comfy place for an adventure, he visually demonstrates that while telling a polite lie, trusting Vivi to interpret that as intended.

They have a special vibe of quiet, maskless understanding, even if they don't interact much. They've got nothing to butt heads over. Vivi's fond of people who don't "fit in" and go against the grain. Being smart and observant as he is, Urianger knows that Vivi's rather hopeless, and doesn't waste his energy on trying to debate, direct, or, gods forbid, fix him.

Just a closeup because he looks cute here :> To keep your expectations grounded, though: this's one of the veeeeeery few Urianger episodes. He has little overall "screentime". This comic isn't trying to be a fanservice for every character, even if I personally like them. Gotta keep things focused.

This one's kinda important: Vivi acknowledges how nice and quiet it feels (in the moment? In Il Mheg? On the First?), but the realization doesn't fully bloom in his mind yet.

"Mmyeah there are definitely better cracks to ponder out there".

Another closeup because *clutches at heart*

Two things: his own, genuine excitement to reunite with fren, followed by self-reminder that she's no fren and that he has to maintain distance (Vivi who are you trying to fool you're bad at this).

Also mirroring. He sees Alisaie's face and drops his own.

You peek inside Alisaie's brain and find a coin loudly rolling around, one side says "omg it's HIM!!!!!", the other "beat this mf up". Why? Because she can. And probably because the word of Vivi's arrival had already reached her. He spent a good week doing nothing in the Crystarium (and even Il Mheg) instead of rushing to meet her.

The new tumblr post editor (that wasn't forced on me until ~2 months ago) won't let me add anymore pics. I was thinking of making meatier but less frequent posts of this type, because they'll massively add up over time. Imagine a new reader looking at 300 episodes and 100 recaps. I'd feel overwhelmed. But I guess I'm left with no choice but to keep these recaps relatively short and frequent.

Anyway! Thanks for reading!!!!! I'm blessed to have people invested enough to interact with my work on this level.

[milkyruins]

## teacher!lee felix x teacher!reader, SUGAR FIXES AND MISTLETOE KISSES

summary: as you come under a lot of stress, your fellow teacher and coworker felix swings by to cheer you up with a drink every day. your third graders get some... ideas and create their grand plan to make you two fall for each other, one kiss after another.

genre: fluff

content warnings: mentions of stress, cursing, invasions of privacy by your third graders, using god's name in vain, peer (?) pressure by the kiddos

wc: ~1.7k (woah...)

a familiar blondie popped into the doorway to your 3rd grade classroom.

"felix!" you practically sprung up to greet him. you winced at how obviously enthusiastic you were to see your workplace crush, but he didn't seem to notice.

felix greeted you with his blinding smile as he sauntered in. "teach!" he teased, placing down a steaming mug. "i swiped you something from the teacher's appreciation breakfast." upon further instruction, you noticed the heaping cap of whipped cream on top. your eyes widened at the nostalgic, homey scent.

"hot cocoa?" you guessed. the kindergarten teacher nodded enthusiastically.

"peppermint hot choco. the best kind."

a smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. "i really appreciate it, felix. i've been so busy with planning the lower school assembly that i couldn't make it."

felix grimaced a bit. "yeah, you've seemed busier recently."

"but," your eyes lit up. "i have some wonderful student helpers this year. they've been loads of help."

his expression softened. "that's great." he paused a bit before continuining. "need any help with anything? i can make myself available to plan with you or set things up; i'm also happy to bring you hot cocoa more often."

your heart warmed at his consideration. you flipped through your planner, noting everything that still needed to be done. "actually, there doesn't seem to be much in terms of logistics. i'd really love your help setting up for the assembly though. that would be amazing, lix." your eyebrows practically shot up. everything grew hot. "shi- i mean, sorry, that wasn't intentional."

felix giggled a bit. "you're welcome to call me that. although i have to admit, the only person who really calls me that is olivia."

this only helped to fan the flames that were scorching your face further. your gaze latched onto the fine grain of your desk. damn, there were a lot of eraser shavings.

as you finally regained a sliver of composure, you turned to face him again.  pointing at the clock sitting on your desk, you spoke "i think i have to kick you out, sir. class starts in five for us."

"imagine starting class at 8:30. kindergarten can't relate." he flicked his hair, which was slowly starting to grow into the prettiest mullet ever. you laughed with him for a bit, before shoving him out the door.

he stopped in the doorway. "i think i'll stop by more in the mornings. you're going to need the sugar fix!" you couldn't tell if he was talking about the hot cocoa or his sweetheart self.

"i'll look forward to it then."

-

as felix continued to deliver you hot drinks and casual banter in the morning (and you got more comfortable with calling him lix, as he insisted it was okay), a strange murmur rose from your third graders. when these morning chats began, your third graders looked on, moon-eyed and curious. you heard them mention you and "mystery teacher" during break time every once in a while.

but then, the third graders began to conspire. whispers of your involvement swept over the entirety of the third grade class.

yoomi, the sweetest little student of yours, waddled over to you during recess. "teacher l/n, how long have you and teacher lee been married?"

you laughed it off, cringing internally. "we're not even dating, little love."

your student pouted. "you're lying!" then she sprinted to join her friends on the monkey bars, anxious to spread the (fake) news.

when retelling this to felix the next day, he almost collapsed onto the floor in a laughing fit. after barely managing to catch his breath, felix responded. "your kiddos are so cute!"

you brought your hand to your forehead, mildly frustrated. "you don't care about the dignity of your professional career, lix? or your love life?"

felix chuckled some more. "there's no love life to tarnish, teach." he stared wistfully at your kiddos, who were starting to file in for the day. "plus, what harm is it? they seem to be enjoying themselves."

indignation fired you up, boiling your blood. "but they might not be able to concentrate on my teachings if they see me just as the epicenter of a crazy romantic drama! what about their future academic careers? they-"

felix leaned over your desk to grab your hand, effectively startling you into silence. you didn't realize how loud your voice grew until the a hush ran through the room. he squeezed it softly.

"y/n, you're a fantastic teacher. you're caring, smart, and always put your kiddos first. they could never forget that. okay?"

you exhaled slowly. "thanks, lix. but..." you motioned towards your conspicuously intertwined hands which the children absolutely ate up. his eyes widened as he released your hands. felix scratched the back of his head apologetically.

"i should probably head out, right?" with that, he promptly exited. you might have been imagining things, but his freckled cheeks seemed to be extra red.

-

oh holy mother of jesus, take the wheel.

you ran around the auditorium, giving instructions, answering questions, and trying your best not to lose your fucking mind. but honestly, it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be, thanks a certain someone, who was currently helping your kids open a really stubborn door. why didn't anyone think to replace these ancient storage closet doors?

you paused to watch felix tussle with the door some more. was he going to be okay doing physical labor in that nice button up and tie? well, he proved you wrong by opening it gracefully. but soon afterward, he and the kiddos were met with a torrent of dust bunnies.

you began to laugh, catching your crush's attention. he gave the helpers some last instructions before making his way over to you. "something funny to you?"

"n-no" you managed between giggles. he cocked his eyebrow at you playfully. you guys joked around some more. despite the stress of... everything, really, being around felix put your heart at ease.

as you two were immersed in your separate world, your third graders became to initiate phase one of their master plan to put you two together. all eyes were on yoomi as she walked towards the almost-couple with burning purpose.

"teacher l/n and teacher lee," she began, pointing at the wad of tangled christmas lights by the door. "can you two help us with that?"

you grinned. "absolutely." you turned towards felix, eyes set ablaze by a challenge. "lix?"

he teasingly rolled your eyes at your shenanigans. "sure, let's go."

the entirety of your third grade class held their breaths as you walked towards the absolute mess that was that string of lights. when you two finally arrived in front of the lights, a cheer erupted from your helper pals.

you quickly spun around, confused by their reaction. a very helpful student pointed above both of your heads, where a haphazardly-taped mistletoe hung. definitely the work of your third graders, no doubt.

"shit." you whispered, careful so that none of your students could witness your potty mouth.

you turned back towards felix, who was clearly stupefied.

yoomi, carefully tucked behind the menorah display, yelled. "now fall in love, lovebirds!" a chorus of giggles sounded as they waited for their otp to kiss and subsequently fall in love.

all you could hear was the rapid drumming of your heart. did this mean you really had to kiss your workplace crush in front of your kiddos? what would this do to your relationship? your professional career?

he slowly approached you and grabbed a hold of your hand. your kiddos held their breaths as he leaned in-

and lifted your hand towards his lips. you combusted on the spot.

"is that enough?" felix asked your helpers, who nodded, accepting their bitter defeat.

as they turned back to their original assignments, felix dragged you out of the auditorium and into the empty teacher's lounge.

"are you okay?" he asked, worry scrunching his brow together.

you nodded slowly, trying to regain your composure. "yeah. thanks for..." your heart squeezed at the thought of his princely hand kiss. "being considerate with me."

he shook his head. "it's the least i could've done." and paused, looking down. "and i'm sorry that i totally disregarded your concerns earlier this week. your kiddos are getting out of hand." 

"it's fine. i'll talk to admin about this eventually, but we should probably head back."

as much as you needed to be back in the auditorium, helping with set-up, you couldn't get yourself to move when he was looking at you like that.

he took a step towards you, averting your gaze. then another. you could see each individual freckle now and it was driving you crazy. "can i... can i ask you a stupid question?"

your breath caught. "always."

felix reached for your hand, rubbing his thumb against your knuckles. "i know this isn't proper of coworkers, but i have to ask or i'm going to go insane." he took a long breath. "i really like you. always have. can i kiss you, for real?"

you willed your brain to stop short-circuiting on you. "go on then." you breathed, tugging lightly on his tie.

and he was all too eager to fulfill your request.

the feeling of his lips on yours felt like fireworks. and you did the thing you always dreamed of-- you greedily carded your hands through his luscious blonde locks, lapping up the quiet moans he let out with every tug and pull.

when you separated for air, you began to giggle at the sight. "lix, your hair."

his usually well-tamed hair was an absolute mess. "ah, i'm so sorr-"

he kissed you again, this time soft and sweet. "don't apologize. i really enjoyed it."

a whole heat wave flooded over you. "should we head back then?" you needed out now before you fully melted.

"wait." you looked up at him. he shot you a hopeful, doe-eyed glance. "does that mean you like me back?"

you chuckled at him. "yes, lix, i do like you back. it's impossible not to, really."

[twixstari]

THE PARALLELS BETWEEN FIRE AND FLYING; RENEGADE KARMA FILES

I've been marinating in this entire route for like, a week now. It's driven me MAD. So I'm here to talk about it again. Spoilers below!!

Talon and Amber's deaths parallel each other so, so perfectly, especially if Florin is already been executed. I'm only going to be talking about that route, btw. So... If you don't know about it, here's a clip.

They are precise opposites of each other in their deaths.

Talon loses everything he ever had, and goes out accepting his own death.

Amber gains everything she ever wanted, and goes out fighting to the end for it.

For Talon? You see him throughout the karma files. He's been marked by karma to stop you. And things just keep going downhill.

He learns his best friend was executed. He learns his student is leaving him. He learns his mother is on her deathbed. And before he dies, his own tower is crumpling to the ground beneath him.

He loses everything. Used by a god to stop you.

He turns into a beast, and even that melts away. He's been used as nothing but a cruel toy to satiate the plot. He's lost it all.

And erasure's meant to be terrifying. Everyone forgets you. But he's lost it all anyways. So what does it matter? He has nothing left for him. It's sad, seeing him be erased by you. But he's made his peace with it.

He goes out smiling. It's pathetic, but it's his, and he's okay with it, as terrible as it is. It's his time to go.

He won't survive.

A necessary tragedy.

And onto his parallel: Amber.

You also see Amber several times throughout the route. Hanging out with her friend. Talking about her mom. They even added a scene where she goes out to dinner with you. Her sibling.

She never had that. She was alone for all her time on Terajuma. Her relationship with her mom was souring every day. She wanted friends, but pushed people away enough so that she couldn't make them.

She has that now. Venam and her investigate into you and have fun buddy moments. She's repairing things with Tesla, and she's even learned her dad is alive and around somewhere! She still has stuff to do here!

But when she gets in too deep into your ulterior motives with Venam, she's cut short entirely. She has everything she wants, and it gets ripped away from her.

But she fights for it. Her last move alive is pushing Venam aside to save her.

Because she has everything now. Friends. A place in the world.

But it's cut short. Erased by you.

Hell, her final words are even cut short.

Then she's erased. Gone. Her friends don't remember her, her mom doesn't remember her. She had so much left. She wasn't even marked for death.

An unnecessary tragedy.

Both Talon and Amber just didn't ever fit into the grand scheme of erasure. Get them out of the way now, I guess.

Talon's is inevitable. Amber's is preventable. But both get erased anyways.

Both are terrible. Complete opposites of each other. But both happen.

tl;dr??

WOW. JAN WAS THIS TALON/AMBER DEATH SCENE PARALLEL PLANNED? BC IM STILL REELING ABOUT IT. OW. OW. WHAT THE F

[codecicle]

Swag, tell me about your BG3 character, I’m curious about what you play !! :D

rubbing my hands together evil style. wampus you have no idea what you've unleashed

this is my bastard son: Samuel Alastine :D he goes by Sam but everyone calls him Sammy ^_^

his personality is like if you combined chip jrwi + sokka atla and made a really sappy fucked up love child. he's such a sarcastic little bitchboy at all times who loves being a bastard and charming his way into and out of situations (the consequences of his actions). he really focuses on the actions of the people and how they treat others as a sign of if he should trust them or not, when asked by Withers the question on how much a single human life was valued i had his answer READY lmao he was instantly responding with "it depends on the person's actions." he definitely has a weak-spot for kids though, he went through a rough childhood, but he doesn't consider it "important" and he trys to keep it as close to his chest as possible.

he's a tiefling sorcerer and i decided to make his sub-race a dragonborn tiefling so he could get the specific type of spells i wanted. i think my plan for progressing him is to focus my general skill-tree to be skewed towards how his personality would fight instead of whats most practical, and for him that definitely means wiping out multiple people in one flashy go with ZERO back-up plans. the amount of times he's had to get one of the other party member to revive him is insane, so he tends to leave that part out of the big flashy tales about his adventures. he loves showing off and bragging so much genuinely again think sokka atla just an absolute loser bastard who tries to take credit in a loving way. he would kill and die for his friends he just shit-talked as beneath him and side characters 5 seconds ago, and if someone else tries to also talk bad about them he's throwing hands and swinging on them in an instant with his whole 8 strength

speaking of which i skewed by skills so badly by putting the free +2 modifier to charisma to give him a 17 bro i coulda blanced his skills a little more and made all of his attacks do more than a grand total average of like. 2. maybe 3 if youre lucky but i DIDNT because im not a COWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! so now he just flops over if he gets breathed at wrong or is out of spell slots like god intended. but at least he knows how to flirt GODBLESS

also also i definitely think his current party is going to remain his favorite and most trusted for the whole game. he's adventuring with Shadowheart, Wyll, and Astarion right now and they fit him so perfectly its actually insane. he loves how forward thinking Shadowheart is and is willing to follow her, and respects her for keeping her secrets while still letting him make fun of how closed off she is. (realizing now that my playful banter i try to give him might be the romancing options. but like. yeah he would try and do that she would never go for it though.) ((maybe)) and he absolutely adores Wyll's heroicism and looks up to him in a way, full of nothing but respect for how selflessly he acts and how he fights with confidence. he's an especially big fan of how he treats kids, knowing he never would have gotten that same kindness and it was nice to see the cycle be broken and someone make a change. and astarion he just wants to fuck LMAOOOO he loves the conversations they have and while astarion saying "oh yeah btw how do you wanna die when that worm in your brain spreads. like do you want poison or a knife" should normally be offputting thats EXACTLY his kinda humor and flirting. he said knife btw ^_^ purely because at the beginning where astarion jumped him he pinned him to the ground and held a knife to his throat and he really wants that to happen again but you didn't hear that from him. nuh uh.

anyway im having so much fun playing this game fully in character i see why the council did it that way now !! this is so silly goofy and fun i love going "oh wow any normal self respecting person would NOT say that to the random person they just met. i dont want to pick this option but youre not gonna believe this chief, its What My Character Would Do" every 5 fucking minutes for a new dialog this game is awesome im gonna go die in a combat now goodbye [vanishes into the woods] [the camera very clearly shows me hiding behind a tree thats too skinny for my body asking someone off screen if he's gone yet]

[pluto-supremacy]

Arcane Headcanons: how they spend Valentine's Day with reader

➼ Here are some (very late, my bad) Valentine's Day headcanons for some Arcane characters! If there is a character that I didn't write for and you want them added on, just shoot me an ask and I'll work on it^^

➼ Characters included are: Viktor, Jayce, Mel, Vi, and Caitlyn

➼ Reader is gn except for Vi and Cait, then reader is fem (it's just the rules)

➼ No beta we die like Mylo

➼ Warnings: None! Just as a reminder none of the GIFs are mine, credits to the owners!

Honestly forgot about Valentine's Day with all of his work, spends all day in the lab and largely ignoring you. You'd be lucky to get a glance from him as he worked

Or so you think

After however many hours of work he calls you over to him, spinning around in his chair, proudly showing off what was in his hands. It's a small music box that when wound up played you guy's song. Inside are little memories of all your dates. Pictures, trinkets, anything he could fit in there

"Do you like it? I'm sorry it took that long, the gears weren't meshing together how I needed them to. Happy Valentine's Day, my love"\

He's a total romantic, convince me otherwise

Wakes you up with breakfast in bed (he got it from the breakfast restaurant down the street), gives you a handpicked bouquet (it's mostly weeds, but it's still pretty), and has a dinner booked for the two of you at the nicest restaurant in Piltover

You two finish out the night watching movies and cuddling on the couch, his arms always around you and a blanket covering you both

"Happy Valentine's Day, sunshine. You ready to head out? The reservation is at...god you're gorgeous"

It's a stay in kinda Valentine's Day with Mel. You both have a rare morning of sleeping as long as you want for the day, having to convince yourselves to even get up and get dressed

Once you two are finally up, Mel insists on painting you for the remainder of the afternoon. She poses you on the couch, looking as comfortable as ever, and takes her time painting every detail she can see. She adds herself right next to you of course, and you find a nice spot to hang it once she's done

The night ends with a good homecooked dinner and wine

"Keep still, darling. I'm nearly done here. Your perfection takes time to capture"

She's trying, okay? This is her first Valentine's Day she isn't alone and romance isn't exactly rampant in the Undercity. That doesn't stop her from giving it her all though

She takes you around to all the best spots in the Undercity. Breathtaking views, great street food, anywhere she thinks that you'll like. Vi tries to avoid the more sketchy areas with you to try and keep you out of trouble

The day ends with you two falling asleep in each other's arms while listening to your favorite songs

"Hope you liked today bun, I promise I'll try to do something a bit more grand next year"

Caitlyn has been PLANNING

Though she is still extremely nervous and a bit awkward at first. She just wants to make sure everything goes smoothly. The day is planned to a T. A slow morning, having tea together, going out to rollerskate. Then heading home

To pack for a picnic under the stars! You two spend nearly all night stargazing, grazing on whatever you packed, and cuddling on the blanket

"Out of all the stars out tonight, I have to say I like the one I'm holding the best"

[2for2long]

i want to hear everything you think about all the medias your obsessed with even if i’m not in the fandom 😍

I LOVE U ROREVER AND EVER AND FOREVER

tlos

ok so OBVIOUSLY im starting with tlos and atom!!!!!!!! I LOVE it i was literally crying over alex bailey the other night <3 it means a lot to me because (i know it sounds corny and whatever but) it really helped me when i was alone and i just really saw myself in alex and im really attached to her!!!! god the sacrifices she had to make throughout the series? perfect!!!!!

first she lost her dad, and essentially her mom as well which knocked out two of her best friends!! and one can assume that since her brother was far more popular(? had more people to talk to at least if i am remembering correctly) she felt extremely alone for that year after!! and then she gets sent to the fairytale world? with all her role models and comfort characters? a girl could only dream to have that!! and then when she's there she nearly dies (like all main characters <3) and then she's forced to go back!!! back to a world where she doesn't fit in and has no one! and then she gets to go back!!! of course her mom's in danger after being captured but it still mustve felt good to be back. and then she had to defeat ezmia when all hope had been lost!! all on her own!!! and was willing to sacrifice her life to save the world because it was HER world, all that she had!!!!! and then she had to choose between the two worlds she had. the otherworld, a place where she never fit in, but her mother and brother (the only family she had for the past 2 years) were, or the fairytale world, where she BELONGED and had a role other than conner's quiet, smart sister!!!!!! and then in the next book!! she meets rook. and oh i could go on about rook and alex forever they were so tragic!! she met a boy and for the first time felt fairytale love, what she had read about for years, and it all came crashing down again!!! he betrayed her and even though she understood and undoubtedly wouldve done the same to save her father as well (rook had to give away alex's plans to the grand army to save his village from being fed to a dragon) she just couldnt trust him and had to let go but still loved him as a friend!!!

now im a little rocky on what exactly happens in the last 3 books because i read them all at once and it blurs together in my head but!! oh the scene where she meets her role models. she's being hyped up by the very girls that she spent hours thinking and dreaming about and they were all there for HER so that she could save the ones she loved AGAIN!!! and damn rook sacrificing his life for alex, which momentarily lifts her curse only for her to be 10x more destructive because she lost ANOTHER person?? kiss kiss i love it. and i cant forget arthur of course i love those two together!!! the fact he literally sped up his own story just to be with her was so sweet. anyway back to alex <3 she just does so much and lost so much and sacrificed so much but by the end of the series its all WORTH IT shes done it shes grown old in a home where she BELONGS with her family and she and conner are still as close as ever!!!

as for conner bailey i dont really relate much to him </3 not at the start anyway. when i was younger i was much more like alex, a gifted kid and just staying with my books. but now that im older i can see conner more. he lost his best friend too. and then barely a year after that he's introduced to this crazy world where NOTHING is the same, and he doesnt like it, and he wants to go back but his sister wants to do nothing but stay!!! theyre two sides of a coin as intended yk? i think they were grieving their dad in different ways where conner was trying to move on and alex was looking for their dad in the little things but i dont have much reason to that and it doesnt really relate right now so! and when he finally gets home everything keeps changing. ever since his dad died, everything's become turned on it's head and it won't stop changing.

and here i want to take a break from conner and talk more about the differences between conner and alex because i love alex and will never not think about her but also because theyre so different and yet they work so well together. both of them liked it better when their dad was alive; conner had friends, had a dad to joke with, and alex had her books, had a dad to comfort her. when he died, they both started to become more depressed i guess? less themselves. i mean its literally established because conner is said to have kept falling behind in school while alex pushes herself into it. i like to think it was their own ways of coping where conner wanted everything to just stop for a moment and let him take it in because from how its described everything just happened so damn fast, from their dad dying to the funeral to their mom being gone at work to them having to move and it just keeps changing. alex's way of coping seems to have always been to distract herself or immerse herself into something (e.g., fairytales) so she instead does this with her work because it makes her proud to see that something is changing for the better, even if that meant that her dad really was gone.

and then next thing he knows time keeps moving and fuck! he's lost his sister to the fairytale world forever. she chose there, and he chose the otherworld. and then, yes, she's back! but fuck, now their grandma's dead! and damn they have an evil uncle? and god they have to spend more years of their life stopping it? at least he got a gf and a basically-brother out of it. i think he wrote the fairytaletopia series as a way to cope with losing those years of his life because holy shit those were definitely some important years in a person's development and they were just for fighting, what, 3 entire wars?

tldr alex and conner coped with the loss of their father in different ways that ended up making them take different paths in life but because of the adventures they suffered through together they're still as close as ever

(can you tell i think about alex a lot more)

atom

i have a lot of thoughts about this trilogy. first of all im really hoping theres a 4th or that colfer somehow clears up the whole snow queen incident? if xanthous killed her, why is she still alive? wouldnt brystal have done something about it? or any of the fairy council? its well-known she's still around too. so what's up with that?

i love brystal and lucys friendship developing. theyre shown to be best friends in tlos and honestly they seem like more than best friends in atom but thats just me being queer!! (but theres also no way any main character in this series is not some sort of queer, i mean it's literally just. a large metaphor about discrimination. specifically queerphobia but literally just discrimination as a whole. i mean literally sevens whole thing mirrored HORRIBLE groups like nazis and the kkk with them trying to eradicate the fairies and anyone different if that makes sense) i havent reread this series in a while apart from xelrik moments so i cant call out many specifics however!! brystal being the first one to connect to lucy <3

and wow the third book. xanthous being the LITERAL KING OF HELL? hell yeah!!! my man got a boyfriend and a whole army of fire behind him. AND HE TREATS THEM FAIRLY!!! im just confused how elrik manages to stay alive? (i like to think that while xanthous is taking care of the whole tlos thing elrik is watching over the firey pits of hell they rule together <3) i cant express how much i love that colfer just made these two gay asses the RULERS OF HELL. and oh xanthous as a whole!!!

his abusive dad saying he cant do anything unmanly. i love love thinking that eventually, one day, emeralda (emerelda?? i forgot help) helps him realize that being 'unmanly' is okay and helps him work through his trauma cause they have a really cute sibling dynamic!!! <3

also tangerina and skylene are adorable. <3

pjo/hoo/toa

okay well. see. its more than 15 books worth of thoughts. AND I HAVENT EVEN READ TSATS YET BUT I ALREADY LIKE IT

so obviously percys entire character development in pjo is just. mwah <3 he falls flat in hoo and i wish he'd just been a mentor and it be like a passing the sword kind of thing? like oh, the next generation of demigod heroes!! ill help them so they dont have it as hard as i did when i went through a war! and same thing with annabeth. i love their relationship so much. ive always been in love with the friends to lovers dynamic and the way this was pulled off, holy shit. 4 long years of pining and teasing and now theyre in love forever!!

i really love thinking about side characters so im just gonna run through the ones i love the most and why really quick!!!

the stolls!! i LOVED that connor was said to be upset at his brother leaving in toa!! i feel like it showed off their sibling love more yk? i have a LOT of thoughts about them arguing about college. because like yeah 👍👍

all of cabin 10 & 4 <3 im obsessed with them actually!!!!!!!!!! my loves <3 especially drew and lacy and katie <3

THE VICTORS!!!! theyre so so <3 see they r in a trio with drew tanaka and they are a POWER TRIO

ok going into friendgroups now oops!! me when when the thoughts

drew katie bianca in this one au <3 see if bianca lived she would a yearish younger than drew and katie i think and this au deals with that and i made a really long timeline for this au so yall should totally ask me ab it 😋

stolls and leo and will also in an au lmao 💪

ok im tired of talking now ill add more later school is tiring 😋

[thevindicativevordan]

Comics this week?

Superman #2 - I love Williamson's Livewire and I pray she gets her own arc, her whining about needing to connect with her fans in hilarious. Moonlight made her debut here and she's both visually stunning and intriguing with her teases regarding the connection between Metropolis and herself. I guess last issue's teaser about Superman riding a horse is connected to her, I'm hoping that Terra-Man and her have history. This is easily the best Parasite story in ages, even if it's not one that really has fleshed out Parasite as a character, he's a major threat here instead of just being a cameo. For an opening act villain I'll take it, and Williamson has said Parasite will continue to appear after this arc, so we might get more fleshing out of him later on.

World's Finest #13 - Give Waid credit: despite solicits spoiling plot points months in advance, I still have no clue how Stagg's death is connected to this new Amazo (I'm assuming it's a fakeout of course). Now either Bruce getting arrested is all part of Batman's plan, or Stagg getting offed was done solely to frame Bruce, that's my guess on that ending. Nice to have Jimmy involved even if he unfortunately made things worse.

Nightwing #102 - Boring. There's no tension or sense of danger, the Titans just steamroll over everything in their way. Taylor's never been able to create the same kind of excitement with his in-continuity work as he has with his Elseworld stuff. He just doesn't know how to keep the villains feeling intimidating when he can't let them off a C-Lister every now and then. Also I keep getting annoyed at all the starts and stops with regards to Heartless, at least have him making moves in the background so he doesn't come off like he's just putting his grand plans on pause while Dick wanders off to play with his old friends until it's time for Nightwing to come back.

Swamp Thing: Green Hell #3 - Was this a transcendent work? No. Was this a damn good story and epilogue to Lemire's Animal Man run? Yes. Worth the wait in my opinion, although Mahnke's art did decline for a few pages here. Hope whatever emergency he had that delayed the book didn't permanently affect his skills.

DC's Legion of Bloom - My favorite story was the Superman one of course, if Wielgosz succeeds as a writer and eventually makes his way back to DC, I would love to see him do more Superman. Rossmo is a surprisingly great fit for Superman too. Also enjoyed the Porter Swamp Thing/Flash team up and it's got me even more eager to finally see if Porter did right by Conner with the upcoming mini.

Black Adam #9 - My main curiosity at this point is why Priest made these gods bacteria. Such a mundane origin, and he keeps bringing it up, there must be some deeper meaning behind it. Parallels with Adam's origins as a slave perhaps? Got a kick out of seeing how Priest calling attention to what a bore it is to actually rule a nation.

Dr. Strange #1 - Enjoyable if not anywhere near as good as the Clea series that preceded it. McKay seemed to have much more fun writing the hotheaded and assertive Clea over the much more zen Strange, but I do enjoy seeing the two of them working together.

Storm & The Brotherhood of Mutants #2 - Ewing said he was aiming to make a Wolverine type breakout character with Ironfire, is anyone actually begging to see more of this dude? Other than being a Storm sycophant, he's painfully bland. Even his powerset doesn't impress. Did like the twist that Storm doesn't want to reset the timeline because she saw the worth of the people in the SoS timeline, as broken as it was, their lives still mattered to her.

[jamneuromain]

OH GOOD GOD I'M COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED(IN A GOOD WAY) OVER THE ENEMY TURNED LOVER TROPE THIS IS EXHIBITING

And yet, his body seemed ...too small to contain the magnitude of the jerk he was being at the moment. // Because Steven Grant Rogers, Mr. Captain America with the ego of the size of his very moniker,

I did not expect this for one bit and I burst out laughing. Oh anika, you have a way with words that's beyond my ability to contain my facial expressions XD

His utter confidence that his plan was as flawless as the first kiss in the early era Taylor Swift songs; // You knew the answer already and it was annoyingly fitting to a considerably newer Talor Swift song: it was you. You were the problem he had.

lmao taylor swift references I can't breathe

(clear my throat) (walk on the stage) (adjust the microphone) (turn on the microphone) (start the background music) (sing "I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE WHEN YOU WALKED IN... NOW I'M LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND~") (STEVE: "AHHHHH-")(STEVE: "AHHHHH-")(me: "TROUBLE TROUBLE~")

“You should have let me do it! I would have been able to get it to Lincoln or someone else!”

AHHHHHH LINCOLN! the cute boy who can zip zap lightening ;_; I'm always quite fond of him in the Agents of SHIELD

He only scoffed at your argument, crossing his arms on his stupidly wide chest.

Yup she loves him

For two, you might as well wave a red cloth in front of an already enraged bull.

Ouch- what reader said really did a number on Steve :l (I don't blame her though, Steve did have way too large of ego while reader is used to digesting her failures on her own - on this aspect, they are stunningly similar so yeah, Steve waved the red cloth as well

“But I’m sure you wouldn’t only walk, would you? You’d fucking dance en pointe and throw in a few grands jetés en tournant just for the kicks, huh? Because you are Mr.Perfect!”

i speak zero french but this doesn't stop me from laughing again skjsjskjskjskjskjsj

"...Not all of us can do what you do, just push through everything! We fail, we hurt and we barely survive only to disappoint people like you!”

okay, OUCH. Damn this is an emotional soft spot even for me

“No, sir.” Good girl. “Clearly, you do,” Rogers opposed, eyes dark as they watched you sharply. Well, then. Bad girl it was.

UHHHHH HE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE POKED HER FURTHER. But the good girl/bad girl line did send my mind into the gutters for a second lol

“Excuse me?!” “Excused. I bet you were aaaaaaall about following orders in your time, weren’t you?”

This is incredibly hilarious for me "Excused" lmao I'm loving her more by the second

You swallowed the you too and simply nodded sharply before you walked away, emotions swirling wildly; and at the centre of them all, remorse and puzzlement, wrapped in a familiar sensation of agony. //

“Those were files about him – he deserves the truth and to hear it from you. I’m sure he’d be less angry with you too.” Somehow, her last suggestion was even more terrifying than Steve Rogers being all in your face and snarling.

Bucky said, ... a grin audible in his voice. “Communication is key.” “You need to stop hanging out with Sam,” Steve grumbled. “And I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

uh-huh, yeah sure steve, I totally don't believe you

“Nope,” his friend quipped, smiling charmingly at the group of agents they passed in the hallway and briefly, Steve imagined what they had to look like; a brooding Captain practically running away from the sunshine-like Winter Soldier. Clint would call them comedy gold; and Steve didn’t give a damn.

Mr. Dippy and Mr. Chippy

...before he’d vent his frustration with you in a completely different way, with nips of teeth on that lower lip of yours, always pouting a bit when you got into one of your not so frequent but not so rare arguments, having you scream his name in ecstasy instead of defiance, a breathy whine of Mighty Captain without the snark.

I .. uh.. have a friend who really wants to see that :3

(and the punk and jerk banter XD I love it everytime

“Steve’s initials.”

oh shit oh crap i have a feeling it's going to get worse

but I don’t think they were replicating the serum – I think they were trying to neutralize it, neutralize Steve specifically.”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT WAIT WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

The pain would snap back when her projection comes back to her body??? WHAAAAAAT??? and someone died because of it??? NOT TELLING ANYONE??????

this just raise a whole set of puzzles for me

oh damn it's been such a hell of a ride (of reading ) for me, How will nat tell the others? did they go on another mission that causes reader and steve to be trapped? what happened to those files that could possibly neutralize steve's serum? and how are they navigating their relationship among all this?? I want to know ;_;

Thank you for this amazing (and funny) chapter <3

Back and Forth - part 1

Part 1 - Snap Back

Type: series; agent!reader, inhuman!reader

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader    Word Count: 7400

Series summary: 

In which the mission goes to hell and you and Steve clash. Again.

Series masterlist

Warnings: blood, canon-typical violence, mention of gunshot wounds, hints of unhealthy relationship to pain, mention of death, some angst

A/N: ALWAYS MIND THE WARNINGS; dividers by @firefly-graphics 💕; moodboard is for the vibes and does not necessarily reflect reader’s appearance

Steve Rogers was a very large man. Over two hundred pounds of muscle, over six feet three tall, he towered and loomed and hovered above everything and everyone. And yet, his body seemed too small to contain the huge ball of righteous anger, too small to contain the magnitude of the jerk he was being at the moment.

It must have been one of his greatest talents.

And you understood. You understood why he was pacing around, his face the perfect storm with lightning flashing from his eyes, his voice thundering; the mission was a failure, fire and destruction left behind without the important data retrieved. Hell, you understood a little too well how much of that was your fault therefore he had every right to be angry with you.

And yet. Yet, you couldn’t comprehend how that supposedly righteous man spitted around words full of rage when he was to blame himself too.

He was the one to pull you out. He was the one to shake you and break your concentration before your spectre, able to waltz behind locked doors without a key, could deliver the drive to another agent. He was the one to make you snap back, your astral projection dissipating.

Yes, your spectre had been barely walking. Yes, it had got shot in the gut and you really damn felt it. Yes, you – it, really – had been hanging on a tread, with you already at peace with the fact that once you’d snap back, you’d wake up in a hospital bed, because your body wouldn’t handle the strain. Yes, maybe you would have failed anyway, snapping back before you could do what you were supposed to. But now you’d never know, would you?

Because Steven Grant Rogers, Mr. Captain America with the ego of the size of his very moniker, couldn’t have handled you straying from his explicit order to get out earlier.

You were still shaky on your feet, barely having beaten your dizziness and having been walking the fine line of consciousness for way too long, hurting like hell the whole time, but good god, did you have the energy to fight that blonde disaster screaming you down. Especially since he was doing so in front of everyone as you remained seated on the stretcher and kept pulling at the i.v. with custom-made saline to get it from your arm and make the situation at least a bit less humiliating for you.

The audacity. The audacity it had to take for him to call you reckless and scold you for not disappearing faster despite the fact there had been another set of files that caught you eye and needed to be copied. His utter confidence that his plan was as flawless as the first kiss in the early era Taylor Swift songs; confidence that you would have got out safely and the Hydra agent would have never caught you off guard if you just listened to your Captain.

Well fuck your Captain.

You knew you were a failure. You knew that in the end, you were to blame for not getting the intel out in time before the base blown up, the flash drive lying somewhere in the corridor abandoned. Tony Stark might like to tell you that with your abilities defied the basic laws of physics, namely the law of conservation of matter and energy, but you didn’t defy them that much. You couldn’t carry things back by simply grabbing them as the spectre and snapping back to your real body; you had tried countless times, but that wasn’t how things worked, even if you wanted them to – and surely Captain Rogers did as well.

But he was the one to make you snap back. And he was able to do that, because despite the poorly masked hate he appeared to feel towards you at times, he still often made the strategic decision to be the one protecting your actual body; your paraconscious, softly levitating body, completely vulnerable to an attack. Apparently, he was the only one who could be trusted to do it after all.

Whoever called him a golden boy and actually meant it had to be an idiot.  

“You should have let me do it! I would have been able to get it to Lincoln or someone else!” you argued, hands pushing at the stretcher to stand up at last, wincing at the ghost of a sharp pain tearing at your abdomen. Never mind that, that was nothing new – Rogers’ unsolicited attack and complete lack of accountability were.

He only scoffed at your argument, crossing his arms on his stupidly wide chest. The bragger. The impossible cannot-do-wrong arse-

“Would you? You were going to pass out! I know the signs by now-”

“So what?!”

“So what?!” he echoed on full volume, throwing his arm out just as wildly as the whole tantrum. “I carried you out of there because you couldn’t walk!”

How dared he-

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you feigned regret, lowering your voice as you finally managed to rise to your feet. “I must have been such a terrible imposition to your superstrength!”

“That’s not the problem and you know it!”

Then what was his problem, you wanted to ask, but you knew that question was futile. You knew the answer already and it was annoyingly fitting to a considerably newer Talor Swift song: it was you. You were the problem he had. And the even bigger problem was that he couldn’t have you delivered back express to Coulson, because lately it seemed this team needed someone with the ability to project more than the new SHIELD did. He was stuck with you; with your apparently incapable ass.

“Do I?!” you questioned. “Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t just walk off a massive blood loss!”

Rogers winced as you spitted out the words; good. Maybe he’d think twice before yelling at you next time when the Quinjet hadn’t even touched the ground yet and everyone could watch your failure in HD since he served it to them on a silver platter.

You winced too as you breathed in deeply and fresh claws of pain dug into your abdomen again; really not good. But not unusual, even as there was no trace of the bullet wound on your body – because it wasn’t your actual body that got hit, not really. Still, the pain remained.

Yet, that was nothing to stop you from staring at Rogers as he glared at you with hard eyes, leaning forward, jaw so damn tense you might cut yourself on the tendons if you touched it.  

“You wouldn’t have suffered-- that if you’d have just followed orders!”

“Oh really?! Get over yourself, oh Mighty Captain!”

“Get over-” he repeated as if he couldn’t comprehend you just said that, breathing in deeply to ground himself and failing spectacularly since his voice was still full of accusation. “You should have brought us intel and instead we have nothing!”

You stepped forward to get your retort across almost as quickly as you felt everything in you recoil in guilt – because Rogers was right. Of course, he was right. And you knew that. You wanted to scream and cry and throw up and take a damn nap or maybe just wake up from this fucked up dream but you couldn’t, could you?

You could barely do anything.

“Well, I’m sorry! Okay?! I couldn’t do it and I’m fucking sorry! I know I fucked up! I should have pushed through more, I know, and you have no idea how pissed I am at me! But maybe I would have been just fine, if--- you shouldn’t have stopped me!”

“I wouldn’t have to snap you back if you just did what you were supposed to do!”

You grinded your teeth. Stupid, big-headed pig-headed supersoldier, if he had had any idea-

“What were you going to say just now?” he demanded, standing even taller than before, the mask of anger and disappointment shifting towards challenge.

Fight me. Yell back. Try telling me I’m wrong, when you know I’m not.

Goddamn him. He was so damn self-assured, so overconfident it would get him killed one day and you’d be there to watch like a useless dumbass, because you couldn’t do the one thing every single agent on this team should do: have your teammates’ back.

But you couldn’t tell him that. You couldn’t.

Your shoulders sagged, exhaustion washing over you.

“Doesn’t matter,” you said, minding your volume even as most Avengers and other agents got the memo and tried to give you as much privacy as possible. Bless that useless gesture. “I told you, I’m sorry. I know I need to learn to push myself more despite the pain when the stakes are high, but it’s…” You caught a flash of a new emotion you couldn’t decipher in his eyes and you looked away, scoffing, frustration flaring up again. “Why am I even telling you, what would you know about that, huh?”

What would the perfectly mighty walk-it-off Captain know about you peasants and your struggles. Ziltch. He was perfection personified, never wrong, never weak, never-

The sharp intake of breath had you snap your gaze back – and your heart stumbled in your chest. One brief glance at him and you regretted your words instantly. For one, you were too well-aware of the fact that they were bullshit. For two, you might as well wave a red cloth in front of an already enraged bull.

Steve Rogers bristled, teeth practically bared like those of an animal; he snarled like one too, but it was the tone that had cut you. The tone said so much more than his actual words and that message was like a muleta for you for a change.

“Is that what you think? You think I don’t feel pain?!”

“Maybe you don’t feel anything at all!” you snapped, throwing your arms up, gritting your teeth and closing your fists at the sharp bite at your belly at the movement. For fuck’s sake- “It sure as hell looks like it to me, to everyone! Especially since you’re yelling at me right now! I know I fucked up but it’s not easy on me either!”

The realization that he was acting like an asshole must have been quick – he froze for but a split second – but the fact he cared little for that was even faster, his counterattack coming in hot.

“Well, allow me to correct you, agent, I do feel pain – and I don’t have the luxury to switch it off when I snap back into my real body because I only have one!”

And you laughed. The burst of sardonic laugh tasted like hysteria on your tongue, actual tears burning in your eyes.

Switch it off. Switch it off as you pleased. God, that was funny. That was hilarious. So hilarious you wanted to cry. You pretended that the palm that you lifted to your face was to muffle the laughter and not to check whether some of your tears didn’t escape.

“Ooooh, ohohohooo, you think being me is so great, don’t you? Walk a mile in my shoes, Captain, we’ll see how you’ll like it!” you spat, laughing again. “But I’m sure you wouldn’t only walk, would you? You’d fucking dance en pointe and throw in a few grands jetés en tournant just for the kicks, huh? Because you are Mr.Perfect!”

Despite your challenging words, his demeanour changed in as if you snapped your fingers and the reason for that had your chest tighten in panic.

He noticed the tears. You could tell because he blinked, eyes suddenly roaming your face, his voice falling so quiet you barely heard it all of sudden; but perhaps that was only due to the ringing in your ears, the pulsing in your temples.

“That’s not--- I didn’t mean to--“

You cared shit about what he meant or didn’t mean at the moment. He saw you weak. Again. Not only you had failed, hadn’t handled the mission physically, now you were falling apart mentally right in front of him.

He was going to bench you. Worse, he was going to send you express to Coulson despite needing someone with your abilities and he would never ask you to join the Avengers again.

Fight. Show him you have the fire. Show him you’ve got what it takes. Don’t let him think you gave up.

“Well guess what, Captain, I feel pain too and I don’t have the luxury to heal in a few seconds!”

“I don’t heal that-“ he objected lowly and that was the last drop. The last drop and you cracked.

“I KNOW, okay?! You heal faster than anyone, but you still need to heal, because you can get hurt and you can get killed!” His eyes went wide and you gulped; he heard your voice break. Fuck. “Even if you don’t act like it, because you’re the mighty Captain, after all-“ you added quickly to divert his attention.

And the distraction worked. Too bad it didn’t work for you, words still spilling since the dam had been broken.

“Would you stop calling me-“

“Not all of us can be perfect soldiers, the ultimate heroes! Not all of us can do what you do, just push through everything! We fail, we hurt and we barely survive only to disappoint people like you!” you cried out.

It was the line about disappointment, you were certain – something in his expression shifted again and this time, all fight left your body for good, something inside you breaking. The new emotion on his face almost looked like compassion and you didn’t need that. You didn’t need the demigod amongst men and women to pity you and feel for you, especially not now. Not now when you didn’t deserve it because he was right and now this? You hadn’t been fast enough and strong enough – and he might have scolded you for in front of everyone, but now it seemed as if he regretted that because he needed to be the bigger person just to be fucking more perfect and you couldn’t bear it. You never could.

There was a reason why you always jumped to defence when he showed disappointment in you.

Your voice came out as but a whisper, but you made sure it was firm one. “I failed. I disappointed you and everyone else, I know. I’m sorry. I shall accept the punishment as you see fit even if that doesn’t make up for my failure.”

Nor blind nor deaf, Steve’s demeanour changed too; his eyes were suddenly as kind as his words and that was the worst part.

“I have no doubt you tried your best, Specter, and that’s all we can ever do. The only punishment which will come is one for not following orders.”

You couldn’t help it. You should have, since you were already in such a mess, most of it of your own making, but hearing him utter those words, him of all people. The irony. You scoffed.

And like a charm, all of his benevolence evaporated in an instant; his back straightened, head held high.

“You’ve got anything to say?”

The words prickled at your tongue but you swallowed them. No. Don’t say it.

“No, sir.” Good girl.

“Clearly, you do,” Rogers opposed, eyes dark as they watched you sharply.

Well, then. Bad girl it was.

“Do I? Fine. You’re a big fat hypocrite.”

You might have as well stuck a bar into a bee hive and poked around, aiming for the queen. Rogers went from slightly annoyed to ballistic in a split second, back in your face.  

“Excuse me?!”

“Excused. I bet you were aaaaaaall about following orders in your time, weren’t you?” you mocked him, knowing you were so on point it had to burn him – that was, if he took a moment to actually consider your words, the words of the inferior, painfully imperfect being. “Even now. Never reckless, never out of line if you feel like it’s the right thing to do. Never pushy with your superstrength, never just removing people who stand in your way, because you can and you will get away with it, because you are the saint who does no wrong, not at all-“

It was his turn to scoff, his eyes burning with bright blue flame of righteousness – and disdain.

“You think being me is so great, don’t you?” he threw back your earlier words, bitter, clearly regretting the sympathy he had found for you earlier. He crossed his arms on his chest again, shaking his head, a sardonic smile on his lips. “You have me all figured out.”

“Yes. Yes, I do. So I know you’d do the same in my place and I know that’s why you’re so angry with me. We always get mad when we’re offered a mirror, don’t we?” you pressed, mirroring his bitter smile indeed.

Something flashed in his eyes, voice dropping low. Dangerously low. “I am angry. You have no idea, Specter.”

Good. Then you had at least something in common.

“Well, so am I. You have no authority to decide when I have enough-“

“As your captain, I actually do-” he interjected, raising his voice again and you just rolled your eyes.

You were insanely grateful for the familiar sensation of slight popping in your ears, the gentle swing of the floor under your feet. You’d be more grateful for it if you didn’t have to stifle a cry, when your body naturally attempted to balance it out and didn’t feel the burn in your abdomen, but you couldn’t always get what you wanted, could you?

Case on a damn point.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, right,” you said, looking straight into your captain’s eyes, sticking your chin out defiantly, saccharine voice of obedience dripping from your lips, heavy with sarcasm. “Well, if you, sir, have anything else to say, say it now, because we’re landing and I’m about to take a shower and sleep for a week. That is if I am allowed. Or do I need to submit an official request?”

You couldn’t tell whether he wanted to shout again or do exactly what you suggested you would do; because suddenly he, too, seemed dead tired, as if your shouting match exhausted him more than the mission or your failure. He stared at you, silent, for a few long moments – a few too many, almost enough to make you feel guilty again for calling him out on his bullshit, enough to make you consider apologizing for that.

Then he sighed. “No, you don’t, Agent. I hope you’ll rest well.”

You blinked, your heart skipping a shocked beat. His voice was surprisingly soft and sincere, his gaze roaming over you head to toe, seemingly concerned.

Did you just break him? Kindness was far from uncommon in him – once you’d calm down, you’d be more inclined to believe that again, you knew as much – but the sudden change genuinely startled you.

“Uhm… thanks,” you muttered, too taken aback to talk back as you walked backwards. He truly looked worn down to a bone, his brain no doubt racing, already figuring out how to fix the mess you had left behind. He looked like he needed a goddamn nap himself. Except you didn’t think he’d take it; that was part of his problem.

Hypocrite.

You swallowed the you too and simply nodded sharply before you walked away, emotions swirling wildly; and at the centre of them all, remorse and puzzlement, wrapped in a familiar sensation of agony.

Winter Soldier was a moniker Steve Rogers loathed; but the reputation which came with that name was not unearned.

When Bucky appeared behind his shoulder out of nowhere, no sound having been made, Steve nearly jumped out of his skin; and it was a true testament to how upset he was that he hadn’t heard Bucky sneak up on him despite his slightly enhanced senses.

“Well, that went spectacularly,” Bucky hummed, instantly making Steve groan internally.

He did not want to deal with this – he wanted to forget about this whole ordeal. The fact itself that Bucky was cheery about a sleeper Hydra cell simply because he had an opportunity to tease him about what had just gone down only added to his annoyance.

He was tired. He was mad. He was confused. He was disappointed – both in you and himself. He was… frustrated. So frustrated; then again, those emotions and the last one in general were no news in your presence, much like many others, but those in particular he wanted to ponder over even less.

“Bucky, don’t,” he warned his friend lowly, glancing at him from the corner of his eye as they made a slow way out of the jet.

It was a waste of words, really: Steve didn’t know what he was thinking, believing the warning would actually discourage Bucky from speaking.

“You know, maybe if you told her that the main reason why you’re so pissed-“

“Buck-“

“- is the fact that she’s challenging your authority which makes you question yourself, and that you’re terrified every time she gets hurt or loses consciousness, be it her projection or, god forbid, her real body, because you care juuuust a little too much for her, then maybe… “

Steve loved his best friend; but if looks could kill, the one he shot him at the verbalized implications, however truthful, could have murdered him on spot.

“Just saying,” Bucky said, shrugging as he kept up with Steve’s sudden strut, a grin audible in his voice. “Communication is key.”

“You need to stop hanging out with Sam,” Steve grumbled. “And I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Bucky snorted, causing Steve’s head to whip in his direction in annoyance. Didn’t Bucky have a lady to tend to? Why did he have to stick around and poke around Steve’s already exhausted brain and feed the already messy whirlwind of emotion? Oh right. Bucky would say it was payback for all the years Bucky spent saving Steve’s puny ass from the back alleys.

“Right. Just like you had no idea what she was talking about when she called you a hypocrite, because you wouldn’t do the same, try to deliver all the files you could even if it meant you’d bleed the heck out, right? Your real body, that is, because you only have one…”

Goddamnit Bucky.

“Bucky, that’s enough.”

“Nope,” his friend quipped, smiling charmingly at the group of agents they passed in the hallway and briefly, Steve imagined what they had to look like; a brooding Captain practically running away from the sunshine-like Winter Soldier. Clint would call them comedy gold; and Steve didn’t give a damn. Today had been a clusterfuck of disasters with you and him in the centre of it.

“It’s enough when I say it’s enough,” Bucky said matter-of-factly. Steve just shot him another glare as they rounded the corner, the corridor now blissfully empty. And sadly, endless with nowhere to hide. “Too bad, punk. You might be the Captain, but you’re still my friend. I’ll be bothering your reckless ass and call you out till the end of the line. And I’m telling you – you two need to get your shit together and make up. And maybe you should finally tell her you’d like to make out. But if I were you, I’d start with that apology.”

Steve stopped so abruptly Bucky nearly collided with him. The flare or anger – because goddammit was Bucky right in certain things and it was truly bothersome to hear those – licked at his gut. As he turned to give his most loyal and precious friend a piece of his mind in return, he found him with a knowing smirk on his face. Why were they friends again?

“Really? An apology?” Steve questioned, the idea absurd even as guilt had already joined the party a while ago. “For what exactly? She should have--- one of those days, she’s gonna-” Steve swallowed against the lump in his throat. He did not like the way the sentence could end. How you could end. But he’d scream at you again before he’d admit that; you brought out that side of him for some reason. You brought out a lot of things, most of them unpleasant. Most of them. “She should have followed orders.”

Bucky’s eyebrows jumped to his hairline – which wasn’t too high given how much he’d let his hair grow, but it still served the purpose of irritating Steve.

“Sure she should. And if you have always followed orders, I’d be dead.”

Steve winced as if he got punched in the gut, all flames of anger put out at once. Bucky just shrugged, unbothered by his hypothetical death.

“That’s a fact, punk. And here’s another: your mother would have boxed your ears for treating a lady the way you just did.”

And this isn’t you, Steve heard the unspoken words and with those he couldn’t argue.

The truth was, Steve didn’t recognize himself around you. He hadn’t more than once but it had never got as intense as it had just now. He felt almost possessed, an astral projection of his own, except he couldn’t control it as it raised its voice like that, in front of the whole team no less. And the worst thing was, it wasn’t a projection; the blame was entirely on him as he failed to contain the onslaught of emotion so sharp and large that he just let it all out. Almost all of it.

The one urge he tried to contain was the one to just slam you to a wall and scream the whole truth before he’d vent his frustration with you in a completely different way, with nips of teeth on that lower lip of yours, always pouting a bit when you got into one of your not so frequent but not so rare arguments, having you scream his name in ecstasy instead of defiance, a breathy whine of Mighty Captain without the snark. He was sure that would have raised a few eyebrows, but hopefully the room would clear in three seconds flat after your back would have hit the wall.

In all honesty, the whole scene had been surreal as it was; Steve had had trouble recognizing you as well. You had disagreed with him a few times, yes, you challenged his authority and questioned his decisions, yes; he had a pretty strong feeling that he was most definitely not your favourite person and more often than not, he didn’t quite understand you – but you had never so blatantly disobeyed an order. You had never endangered a mission or your teammates, never played this much of a Russian roulette, even if one might call you an overachiever which sometimes came with a bit of recklessness by default.

It was true that you could be unpredictable at times; one day you followed instructions to a tee, dutiful, meticulous even; another day, you stood firmly in opposition. One day you dotted on others in almost an overbearing quality, another day it was like you evaporated from the face of Earth, completely absent. But what came over you today, Steve had had no idea – you had been not only reckless, but to a great point, careless. Steve’s mind was blown, but not in the good sense.

That said, he was not pleased with himself either, particularly with the fact was that he had acted impulsively during the mission too. You were definitely right to call him out on it; but that didn’t mean he liked it.

He glanced at Bucky, who was watching him with one corner of his lips still raised knowingly, only fuelling Steve’s ire. Despite all that, Steve knew Bucky was right. And unlike when he was in your presence, he didn’t feel the need to deny that completely.

Sarah Rogers, god rest her precious soul, would have been profoundly disappointed in his behaviour and she would have let him hear it too, despite the infinite kindness and forgiveness she had carried in her heart.

“I know,” Steve sighed. “I shouldn’t have--- she’s just so- I-“

“I know, punk,” Bucky said forgivingly. “I know. That girl has some serious fire in her and she’s not the easiest to deal with, even if she means well, no doubt. Who does that only remind me of…?”

Steve glared at him, unimpressed – he was aware, thank you very much. Not only opposites attracted. Though he was quite certain this attraction was one-sided; and completely insane.

Bucky just grinned and patted Steve’s shoulder.

“Take a nap, Steve. We all deserve one, even if things didn’t go as planned. We’ll get them next time – as a team. Share some of that burden you strap to your shoulders every time to strap on that shield, would you? It can do wonders, believe me.”

“You really do need to stop hanging out with Sam and spend more time with Nat,” Steve uttered, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Shut up, punk, you love me mental health conscious.”

A full grin attacked Steve’s lips now, troubles forgotten momentarily, unlike the fact why Bucky Barnes was his best friend.

“Jury’s out, jerk” 

Even as you felt the fire of rage slowly dying, you tried to feed it; because it kept you on your feet. You had not in fact went to lie down, even as you felt those feet dragging more than walking to Natasha Romanoff’ office. She didn’t spend too much time in it, always having better things to do than paperwork, but you knew she’d want her report to be done as fast as possible to move on exactly to those more important things.

And you knew that as long as she was there, her office was conveniently the best place to talk, the camera system disabled.

“Well, hello,” the redhead hummed as she had Jarvis let you storm in, breathless for more than one reason.

Your abdomen was throbbing, but you didn’t have time for that. It wasn’t like you were going to bleed out from a non-existent wound.

“We need to go back there and fix it.”

The infamous Black Widow only raised her eyebrow at your dishevelled state and frantic words, leaning back into her chair. You admitted you had to be a sight to the devil himself since you probably looked like hell, but you rarely let that stop you.

“Water under bridge, Specter. The base is blown so there’s nothing to go back to and the rest of them will go deep under-“

You shook your head, stalking to her desk, leaning onto your hands, fingers spasming at the bite of pain. Bad idea. And bad phrasing.

“No, Natasha, we—” She scanned you head to toe, her other eyebrow arching as well as you had boldly invaded her space, practically asking to be removed. Violently. You didn’t have the energy to lean back, not right away. You weren’t friends, so you had no right to be so close, but she’d get over it, you were sure. The worst thing to happen would be her breaking off your wrist or something. “What I mean is that we have to act now and get those files. All of them.”

Her gaze zeroed on your face, unnervingly searching and seeing, head tilting to side in genuine curiosity.

“What exactly was in those files that it made you hesitate? You rarely ignore orders,” she stated matter-of-factly, causing you to retreat and step back. Oh. Crap. Black Widow in offensive. She walked around the desk, leaning her weight onto it, crossing her arms over her chest. “What did you see, Specter?”

You gulped; there was no way around it, even as panic made your breathing even harder. There were so many things wrong with what you were about to say and you had no capacity to analyse why you felt the way you felt about it, let alone why you felt even worse about the fact you were the reason why you hadn’t got the intel to others.

“Steve’s initials.”

Even as her brows had smoothened, they arched again now, eyes growing wide. You swallowed against the lump in your throat.

“I tried to copy it and just opened it for a bit, too immersed to notice the unfriendly. Naturally, I got the bullet for my trouble before I neutralized him, but that’s beside the point,” you said, not missing the corner of her lips twitching. “They were… Natasha, they weren’t just some photos or whatever. Those were… they were inventing some shit. It was physics, chemistry, half of the things I didn’t understand, but I don’t think they were replicating the serum – I think they were trying to neutralize it, neutralize Steve specifically.”

And there was no way I was going to leave that there, was left unspoken, but she heard it. Of course she did; this was Natasha Romanoff you were talking to. She didn’t need you two to be friends to read between the lines of what you were saying.

“I see,” she said slowly, the damn intensity of her gaze not relenting. “And you didn’t tell Steve that when he was yelling you down, because…?”

“It was irrelevant.”

“Bullshit.”

“He wouldn’t believe me.”

She scoffed, glaring you down. “That’s bullshit too and you know it.”

Okay, that was fair. But believing was a lot different from taking action. His damn pride would have still had him snapping you back to your real body even if you had yelled at him through the comms what kind of intel you had been carrying on the drive before he messed it up for you – and him. What the heck had he been thinking, breaking your concentration like that? The utter confusion at his actions – because surely it couldn’t have been he had been so angry with you to endanger the mission – only made the matter of your fight worse.

Natasha was right, however – that was just water under bridge. You sure as hell weren’t about to go ask him what possessed him to be more insufferable than normal and you could hardly fly to the pile of debris you had left behind when the place blew up to search for scraps of hard drives.

“Fine. I didn’t think he’d take it seriously,” you admitted at last.

“Now we’re talking,” Natasha said, nodding, a small smirk appearing on her lips, making you frown.

She sure was taking it in stride all of sudden, almost as if--- was she amused? You hoped that was only a mask and in her sharp mind, she was already building a battleplan. She had to. She was one of Steve’s closest friends, real friends, you knew as much. Sometimes her nonchalance truly irritated you. Would it kill her to show more emotion?

Hypocrite.

“But that’s not enough,” she added. “Steve, bless his heart, can be an ass, but not a complete idiot. Any other particular reason why you’d keep it from him?”

Your face was a mask of neutrality. Or you hoped so.

“Nope.”

Natasha watched you sceptically and you swallowed against the lump in your throat.

Naturally, there was a plethora of reasons and on top of them sat the fact that he’d know. He’d know how much you cared. He probably figured out anyway and maybe he wasn’t one to make fun of you for that – scratch that, he definitely wasn’t, he was too much of a good guy for that – but that meant nothing. Caring for people was dangerous; caring for people when you failed meant they’d be taken away. Having people to care for – good people – was a privilege, a reward, one that could easily be confiscated unless you reached perfection.

And yes. You knew Steve Rogers was a good guy, even when he decided to yell at you in front of everyone and challenged you and made you want to smash him against the wall and bite into his stupid plump lower lip and then cuddle him and tell him he didn’t have to be so strong and that people cared about his safety too. Of course you knew he felt pain, but he just never showed it, and it was just so damn irritating, because you needed him to be only human too, so you wouldn’t feel so pathetic despite your powers, so you’d feel a little more worthy. You were well-aware that your way of thinking wasn’t healthy, especially since Steve was a person you could never and should never compare yourself to because that standard was just impossibly high, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t try to meet it. That didn’t mean your family hadn’t set the standards just as high. Perfection was not an unreachable standard, even as it always seemed to be out of reach for you.

However, knowing that precisely that was one of the main reasons why you admired Steve as much as you wanted to punch him to his perfect teeth didn’t help you coexist with him or stopped you from acting like a five-year-old in his vicinity.

On top of that, you were fully aware of how disappointed he would be in you for failing in one particular task which you were sure he considered the most important one: to have your teammates’ six. And you wouldn’t handle that; you were selfish even to that point. To have Captain Rogers learn you hadn’t been strong and fast enough to retrieve data which increased the chance of keeping a key member of your team safe and watch his reaction up close would break your damn barely patched up heart.

Natasha continued to watch you as you zoned out, her smirk growing. “Right. No other reason at all then.”

Oh, she knew about it all, alright. You had no doubt. She might not show much emotion, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t mastered reading other people’s tells. If you had any emotional capacity left, you’d be ashamed at how your face burned under her watchful gaze.

“Will you please tell the others about the files?” you asked instead, causing her to tilt her head to side a fraction again.

“I will, but why should I? Why, when you can be the one to do it? If nothing else, you should tell Steve,” she said, almost motherly you supposed – not that you’d know. “Those were files about him – he deserves the truth and to hear it from you. I’m sure he’d be less angry with you too.”

Somehow, her last suggestion was even more terrifying than Steve Rogers being all in your face and snarling. You attempted a smile, masking the anxiety curling in your gut by exhaustion.

“Maybe. I just… it might be childish, but I don’t… I don’t have the energy for that now. Tell me what else I can do and I will, but not that.”

She watched you silently for several long moments, a small smile curling up her lips – almost a compassionate one. What was it with people and their damn compassion today? You had fucked up. Why was Steve the only one to acknowledge that and why was he relatively nice about it in the end, just like Natasha now? Frankly, as much as you preferred not being completely on Black Widow’s bad side, earning her pity was exponentially worse.

“You know, most things are not going to go away just because you pretend that they don’t exist. Least of all feelings.”

It’s been working out pretty well for you, you wanted to throw back, but Bucky Barnes, the love and the lover who was one of the few people who could slip under the hard shell of Natasha Romanoff, would probably argue with you that it worked for her the best when she did let someone in. But unlike you, Natasha Romanoff did not make mistakes and was an epitome of perfection herself so she could afford that. Natasha Romanoff was terrifying; you’d like to watch someone try to mess with her.

You, on the other hand, were no Black Widow. You could and even had to keep pretending in order to exist.

“Just watch me.”

She sighed, letting her hands fall to her sides. “Go to bed, Specter. I know you still feel that gunshot wound.”

You froze.

Your heart skipped a beat – several beats, you were sure – because your chest suddenly hurt, panic clawing up your throat anew.

She knew. She knew.

How did she--- how? You always fought so hard to hide it, as much as of a pain that was; horrible pun included.

Yes, you sure as hell still felt the gunshot wound. With every move. With every breath. Every time you had strained your muscles to yell back at Steve.

The pain of whatever injury your spectre sustained alwayslingered. Ironically, it was only thing you actually were able to carry when you snapped back. It stayed with you for a while; not the whole time that it would take for the wound to heal, but it still took days sometimes, days of pain whose intensity slowly faded away. An invisible aching wound – like a pain in a phantom limb. There was no evidence of an injury in your body, but your brain still registered it. No therapeutic approach had worked when you finally accepted that despite what you had been taught, this wasn’t normal; only for having to accept that with no solution in sight, it actually was normal. Then again, what was normal when you only had one sample to examine?

“You mostly hide it well, don’t worry,” Natasha’s voice snapped you from your dark thoughts, uncharacteristically soft. “Your secret is safe with me. But that doesn’t mean it should.”

“It definitely should,” you said in at instant, eyes hard despite the tell-tale burn of tears you felt. If anyone knew – anyone else, that was, apparently – you’d be done. Benched forever.

I do feel pain and I don’t have the luxury to switch it off when I snap back into my real body, Steve had thrown at you. If he hadn’t noticed, you were good; you had indeed hid it well enough and that was all that mattered; despite bickering and yelling, he was still willing to work with you. But that would change very quickly; and he had the authority to kick you out of this team and this business completely.

Sure, Natasha had the power to bench you and even fire you as well, but judging by the way she was looking at you now, no matter how disapprovingly and somewhat proud at once, she wouldn’t. It would be okay – as long as she’d keep her mouth shut about it just as Andy had. Andrew Garner, the only person who had known your painful secret and encouraged you to engage with various therapy approaches to rid you off your burden. He had taken the secret to the grave, never having told nor Coulson, nor the rest of his team.

The one person who had known about this was dead; and if that wasn’t a clear enough message that no one else was supposed be trusted with this, you didn’t know what else would.

“It should,” you repeated, inhaling and instantly regretting it. You swallowed as Natasha didn’t miss the tiny hitch in your breath. Dammit you needed to get better at hiding it. And you would. “Please. Tell me what else I can do.”

Perhaps it was your true superpower to make people sigh, not to project into another room, because the redhead observed you for another long moment before sighing again.

“I meant it, Specter – go to bed. After I’ll tell the others, we might need you. Rested. With as much as you can give.”

One corner of your lips rose in a tired defiant smirk. “I can give everything.”

The look Natasha gave you before you spun on your heels told you that precisely that was both the blessing and the problem. But you didn’t need to be told more than twice to go to bed.

As you walked out, trying your hardest to walk completely straight and not hunch over even a bit, you heard Natasha’s completely exhausted sigh.

Next chapter

Series masterlist // S.R. masterlist

Alright folks, life's been quite busy so this was born through sweat and tears and I don't think it will get better any time soon, but hopefully the result will be worth it 🥰

There are and will be a few distant references to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I think you should be fine whout having watched the show.

Thank you for reading 🥰 As always, if you have he time and energy, I'd greatly appreciate your reblogs and feedback, be it even a key smash or yelling at me should the need arise 🤭

[boxofbadaddiction]

Just Call Me Cupid

Fred Weasley x Reader

George Weasley x Reader(Platonic)

This story is inspired from a request of my F.R.I.E.N.D.S Themed Prompt List:

Prompts: 15, 24 & 25

"Could you be anymore annoying?"/"Maybe I can make it up to you by...taking you roughly in the barn."/"[Y/N or Character] DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!"

Warnings: Swearing (always)

-Part One-

You know how the story goes. Three mischievous Gryffindors bonding over pranks and countless detentions. Becoming inseparable during their first year, and sticking together through thick and thin. That was the relationship between Y/n y/l/n and Fred and George Weasley. She fit into their lives perfectly. Her humour was exactly like theirs. She liked the same sports. Had the same classes. The same friends. Although one would wager that y/n held all the common sense of the three, always sure to rein the Twins in if they were edging too close to a line they shouldn't cross.

They used to joke she were the "Missing Triplet". Unknowingly separated from them at birth. They'd even gone as far one year to dye her hair fire orange, referring to her as Y/n Weasley for months.

With every passing holiday the Twins would bring y/n home with them. Her home life wasn't particularly grand, it was adequate in a way but had nothing on life at the Burrow. Molly welcomed her everytime with open arms. It wasn't uncommon for her to stay the entire holiday, start to finish, as she got along so well with the family, all of whom loved her like their own sister and, in Mr and Mrs Weasleys case, own daughter. So of course this Summer would be no different.

As the second week of their holiday came around; Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Harry, Y/n and even Hermione found themselves left to their own accord for the day as Percy and Mr Weasley had work and Mrs Weasley had errands to run.

The group woke to a fully prepared breakfast waiting for them and a completely chore-free schedule, a rarity in this home.

"Morning all" y/n greeted cheerily as she entered the kitchen. "Someone's happy this morning" "I'm happy every morning, Georgie." She replied as she made her way around the table with a spring in her step. "Oo, toast!" She exclaimed reaching for a single piece balancing on the edge of Ronald's plate, which earned her a stern slap across the wrist from the boy. "Damn. Relax! It's not like I went for a piece of bacon..." "Careful, y/n/n" began Harry from beside her, "that's a sure fire way to lose a hand." He joked. "Oh, right! I'm so sorry I forgot!-"

"RONALD, DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!" everyone, aside from Ron, shouted amusedly before falling into loud laughter. This had been a long running joke amongst the friends and family after Ron had yelled the line at dinner one night years ago. Y/n had to grip the back of Rons chair to stop from falling as he scowled at the groups mockery. "Oh sod off. HEY!" Y/n stole a piece of bacon from Rons otherside while he had been distracted. "Payment for one viscous assault on your favourite sister." She goaded taking a bite from the crispy piece of meat. "You're not even related." "Not yet." Smiling across the table she shot George a wink. George grinned, tongue pressed to cheek as his brow raised amused by her insinuation, in response he pursed his lips blowing her a kiss.

Y/n finally made her way around the table to a vacant seat by Freds side, chuckling lightly at Rons uncomfortable expression.

"Wow y/n, can't believe you'd really settle for the less-attractive Twin." Fred feigned insult as George threw a piece of crust at him. "I didn't. Otherwise I would have chosen you, wouldn't I?" She smiled innocently.

Fred's jaw dropped open in shock at her words. Though he fought hard to contain the smile and laugh forming on his lips, Fred was unsuccessful, cheeks grinning as a chuckle made it's way from his throat.

"WOW!" he placed a hand to his chest, "wound me why don't you?" He looked back to his gathered friends and family, all of whom were laughing at his dramatic reaction. "That's my girl", George spoke fondly, leaning back in his chair, hand hung behind Fred to y/n as they low-fived.

"Some 'best friend' you are." Fred continued, "and GINNY! I can't believe you would laugh at such a heinous lie! I thought we were closer than that!" Ginnys face were so red it near rivalled her hair at this point. Fred turned his attention back to y/n to find her face a similar shade, light joyful tears brimming in her eyes. He stuck his bottom lip out in a fake pout. "Awwe...Freddie..." she tried to speak, "come on, you know you're my favourite" she leant into his side - hugging his arm - placing a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"OI!" her 'future husband' protested, "I'm right here!" "Sorry Georgie, gotta keep my options open. You know how it is."

The remainder of the meal was spent discussing how to fill in their first day home alone for the holidays. Everyone was excited at the prospect of a potential Quidditch match, except Hermione - the only one who doesn't play the sport, and the sloppy ground outside from the past days rain didn't appear very inviting in her opinion. Their plan was thwarted regardless as Ginny reminded the Boys of their current grounding.

Fred, Ron and George had all been forbidden access to their brooms and Quidditch equipment for two weeks, after accidentally breaking a kitchen window with a bludger - released too soon near the house. In the end everyone simply parted into their own groups.

Ginny and Hermione disappeared to her room, Ron and Harry to his, while the remaining three spent the day outside.

Fred, George and y/n were partaking in some 'friendly' bits of competition to occupy their time. It started innocently enough; "let's see who can throw a Garden Gnome the farthest". But naturally, as all three individuals were highly competitive, it escalated. It was all out War by the afternoon.

Basically, they were now running around, breathless and sweaty, chucking mud cakes in their "opponents" direction. A total free for all.

As a cramp set in y/ns ribs she sought shelter behind a shrub by side of the Burrow, trying desperately to spot either Twin and failing. She was thankful however for the opportunity to catch her breath. That was untill...

"Tired are we?" Startled by the sudden voice y/n jumped eye's locking with those of George who stood far too confidently before her, hands tucked behind his back, as he smirked. Y/ns eyes widened, this couldn't be good. Her eyes quickly scanned the surrounding area. No sign of Fred. That definitely isn't good. She began stepping away slowly from the redhead infront of her who cocked his head at her movements slowly following. Smile only growing as he lowered an arm revealing a metal pail filled with sludge.

"Oh God. George, please no!" Her arms came out in defence, "I'm begging you...Georgie, please don't!" Though worried and pleading she couldn't help the nervous smile and giggle that came to the surface. Eyes staring into his "I'll do anything! Mate, please just...put. down. The bucket."

George let out a long sigh, contemplating, as he swung the pail loosely in his hand staring to it's contents. With a dramatic roll of his head and a groan he dropped the bucket by his feet. "Oh thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!" Y/n repeated, relieved. "Had you done that I'd never get my chance..." Georges brows furrowed, "chance for what?" "THIS!" Y/n scooped up a large mud patty from her feet, hurtling it directly across the side of his face, laughing maniacally. Though as George slowly scooped away the gathered muck on his eye, flicking it off his fingers, she couldn't help but feel bad. A little anyway. Offering a half-hearted apology as he wiped away the dirt by his mouth.

"Oh you're sorry, are you?" He began advancing on her again, "to think I took it easy on you, my 'loving' wife-to-be." He added sarcastically. Y/n gulped as she noticed the new found determination held in his gaze. Laughter turning nervous as she backed away. "I'm sorry. Maybe I can make it up to you by...taking you roughly in the barn?" "Mmm tempting. But I have a better idea" he smirked wickedly. Y/ns face dropped as she made to run, but she wasn't fast enough, George wrapped his arms around her body holding her tight in place. "Not so fast, love." He lifted her from her feet walking blindly back towards the house. "No! Please no!" She whined through giggles, "Geoooorge" "It's not me you should be worried about, sweetheart." He whispered to her ear. Huh?

"Oooooh FREDDIE!" he called over his shoulder. FUCK! Where was Fred!?

George turned sharply on the spot and y/n suddenly found herself face to face with one Fred Weasley, complete with bucket. Only this one wasn't the same from earlier, it was bigger. And filled with...what was that? Oh god. Ice.

"Woah y/n/n, you look really flustered. Reckon you might need to cool off." He grinned. "Freddie, I was thinking exactly the same thing." Georges grip on y/n tightened as she began to squirm furiously. Pleading them not to. Fred raised the bucket in his arms as she slipped to the ground, George pinning her down and tugging back the side of her shirts collar.

Fred leaped into action, pouring the buckets contents over her exposed shoulder so the ice would fall down her back as well as down her chest. Y/n squealed at the brisk temperature change. Breath hitching and shuddering in response. The boys jumped back as she scrambled to her feet, shaking the material of her shirt to lose the ice still clinging beneath it. Various curses and insults being shot to the twins whilst doing so.

"Prats." She shivered, "the both of you. Prats." All three couldn't contain their laughter at this. George excused himself for a moment to rid his eye of a few pesky grains of dirt under his eyelid.

He dunked his head under the tap of the kitchen sink in order to rinse his eye, and face while he was at it, clean before filling himself a glass of water having become quite hot from all the running he'd done this afternoon. A sudden yell pulled his attention out the window.

Chuckling as he watched Fred frantically running from y/n who held the bucket of mud George had threatened her with earlier.

Fred was running backwards with his arms raised trying desperately to bargain his way out of his punishment. George could only just make out the conversation carrying on in the moment.

"Come on, said I was sorry didn't I?" "Why don't you put the bucket down and I'll run you a bath" "I have a stash of chocolate frogs upstairs you can help yourself to!" George was amused by that line in particular as he knew for certain that stash was well and truly gone, days ago, as he and y/n had helped themselves to it whilst he showered.

Fred were a fairly safe distance away as he out manoeuvred his friend easily with such long legs and lack of bucket. He probably could have kept up their little dance for some time, enough for her to admit defeat, if he had not tripped back over his own feet. George snorted at the sight, water nearly shooting from his nose, as his brother fell flat on his back. Y/n seized her moment. Standing above him with bucket raised smiling.

Many 'please's, and 'y/n's and of course countless 'no's falling from Fred mouth, all in vain as the bucket tipped above him. Contents hitting directly to his chest and covering him in filth. George really wished he had a camera right about now.

"What are you laughing at?" Ginny had appeared, grabbing a glass of water for herself. "Y/n getting revenge." "Why aren't you out there?" "To avoid exactly that happening to me." The two watched as Fred stood, wrapping himself around y/n to smear mud over her body as well, swaying them side-to-side dramatically as he did so. Muffled shrieks came from her mouth which was pressed tight against his chest.

"Mum's going to have a field day with you three." Ginny commented, placing down her cup as she ascended the staircase. George inhaled sharply as his jaw clenched at the thought. His eyes scanned the yard...they had made quite the mess. He wondered if they'd ever be allowed to play Quidditch again. Or even be allowed out of the house for that matter. His thoughts were cut short as his attention fell back to his brother and best friend.

They'd stopped rough-housing. Y/n pushing back from him with a huff. She stood before him with a pout, covered completely in muck. Fred was laughing haughtily at the sight as he took a step forward, sweeping a dirty piece of hair behind her ear. His fingers delicately traced her cheek bone and down toward her lips which had parted slightly as she stared at him. His head was hung towards her as he gazed back, hand now resting just below her jaw. Both slowly leaning closer...

The moment was over as quickly as it'd began, by Fred clearing his throat and dropping his arm, both hands finding his pockets and standing back a pace. He had said something about needing a shower to which y/n laughed awkwardly, avoiding any further eye contact.

"Ho-ly FUCK!" George exclaimed to himself as realisation hit him like a bag of bricks. "They fancy one another" his eyes were wide. How hadn't he noticed before?

The way their eyes seemed to linger on one anothers a tad longer than two friends would. The shameless flirting. The "innocent" light touches. How Fred always had his arm over her shoulder if he could. The quick kisses to their cheeks. The blushing. The way Fred tensed, white knuckled, when boys were 'too friendly' with y/n. The way y/ns teeth would grind as girls would fall over Fred. It all seemed so obvious now.

Without a second moments thought George bolted up the stairs.

Hermione and Ginny sat cross-legged on her bed, chatting casually about the upcoming school year and what excitement it may hold, when the bedroom door violently swung open. Slamming into the wall, one hot, sweaty and very much out of breath George clung to its handle.

The girls stared wide-eyed at the sight. "...yes?" Ginny asked curiously. Her brother was a sputtering mess, attempting to speak through deep burning breaths. "F-Fre-and y/...Fred and y/n!" He gasped, arms waved and flailing dramatically trying to make them understand him in his frantic state. "They-they're...they fancy one another!" He finally exclaimed before clutching his side painfully, "Oh, cramp".

Ginny and Hermione looked at one another with identical blank stares before shrugging simply, "We know" they spoke. "You KNOW!?" "It's pretty obvious." Said Hermione. A deep, frustrated, sigh left Georges throat, his head rolled and he flopped heavily into the small space between both girls, the action causing them to bounce.

"Could you be anymore annoying?" Ginny groaned but George ignored her, "This is unbelievable." "Is it though?" His sister questioned. "They're always all over one another. Always staring when they think the other's not looking." "Not to mention they're perfect for one another." Hermione giggled " "He stops her from stressing too much over school work, keeps her out of her shell when she's struggling. And she very well may be the only person on the planet capable of settling him down when he gets worked up."

"Do you think they know?" George asked, eyes fixed to the ceiling. "Not a chance" "Absolutely not." The girls answered. "Look how long it took you to realise, and you're their best friend." Added Hermione causing Georges brows to furrow. She had a point. They'd spent nearly every day together since they met in their first year. Practically attached at the hip and yet it only clicked now.

He couldn't quite wrap his head around how he was feeling at the moment as too many thoughts flooded his mind.

Was he worried? Excited? What if they dated? Would they hang out with him less, as a result? Would it work out? What if they broke up!?

"My best friend and my brother..." he wondered aloud, tone sceptical. The girls remained silent as George thought, chewing his cheek. The atmosphere was tense as they worried over his reaction. That was until a wide smile crept its way across his face. "My best friend and my brother." He spoke louder, more assured, with a curt approving nod. "I'm gonna make it happen." He stated matter-of-factly as he lifted himself from the bed, making his way to the door.

"And how, pray tell, are you going to manage that?" "Easily, my dear sister." George looked over his shoulder as he grabbed the doors handle, "Just call me Cupid." He winked, quickly shutting the door as he left with a smirk.

[vanillann]

aphrodite and her son cupid (spencer reid x f.reader)

thank you for the request!!

word count: 2.1k

“What do you mean you broke down?”

JJ ran around the corner from her office, her stride larger than normal as she stepped to the center of the bullpen.

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

JJ hung up the phone, a sigh falling past her lips as she tilted her head back to watch the ceiling closely.

“What’s wrong?”

Spencer and Emily had now walked up to standing on either side of the blonde, Emily placing a gentle hand on her friend's shoulder.

“Will was going to pick up Henry when his truck broke down, I would get him but I have so much paperwork that I have to have done by 6.”

“I’ll go get them.”

Spencer slowly raised his hand, almost like he was a shy kid in the back of the class.

“I don't want you-”

“I finished all my paperwork 1 hour and 6 minutes ago.”

JJ smiled, running back to her office quickly before returning with her keys held tightly in her hand.

“Thank you Spence”

Spencer smiled as he jogged out the glass doors of the BAU.

*

“Thank you for doing this again.”

A thick Southern accent filled the car as they pulled up to the last available parking spot at the school. Both adults stepped from the car, making sure to stand tall enough for Henry to spot them.

“I’m happy to help, plus it's part of my job as god-father.”

Will smiled, clapping a hand on Spencer's shoulder that caused him to fall forward slightly.

The sound of loud footsteps and yelling suddenly filled the field before them, kids running to their car or sitting in the grand waiting for their own.

Suddenly a small tuft of blonde hair emerged from the coward of kids, a woman holding his hand walking beside him.

The long skirt and multi-color headband reminded Spencer of a picture he had once seen of his mom from when she was a teen.

“Ms. (L/N),” Will pushed off the car and moved to the woman, giving her a bear hug.

“Will.”

Both pulled back from each other, Ms. (L/N) looking over Will shoulder to wave at Spencer.

“You must be Uncle Spencer.”

Spencer would never say it out loud, he was a humble guy, but he was proud that Henry's teacher knew who he was because that meant Henry talked about him a lot.

“Yes, I’m Doctor Spencer Reid.”

“(Y/N) (L/N), but try to use Ms. (L/N) around Henry. The entire first week of school he called me Agent (L/N).”

A giggle fell past Spencer's lips, causing him to look between the two with knowing eyes.

He might not be a profiler but he sure wasn't stupid.

“Sorry, he probably got a little too used to that.”

Henry stood beside Ms. (L/N) jumping off the balls of his feet.

“Uncle Spencer, did you know I have the highest reading level in class?”

There was that pride from earlier bubbling in his stomach, but it quickly left when he realized that Henry was still standing beside his teacher.

Henry always ran to Spencer to give him a hug.

“Uncle Spencer, today was national hug day.”

Will smirk to himself, he knew he raised his kid right.

“Really?”

Of course Spencer knew it was national hug day but he wasn't going to spoil the kids day.

“Ms. (L/N) said she was going to get as many hugs as possible, would you like to help her?”

“Henry,” Ms. (L/N) pulled on Henry slightly with a stern look.

God, it almost could beat Hotch.

“No it’s fine, I can never say no to him anyways.”

Without another word Henry was dragging Ms. (L/N) closer to Spencer, standing beside the two with eyes of awe.

Spencer looked back at Ms. (L/N), slowly raising his arm like he was about to waltz and arm stiff.

“You look scared, come here.”

Ms. (L/N) grabbed the arm of his blazer, slowly dragging him closer to her before he was closer enough to wrap her arms around his middle.

Spencer felt his body light on fire, the feeling of her fingers laid across his back had his mind racing at rapid speed.

Will stood against the car, the smirk gracing his lips as Spencer hand fell onto her shoulders softly.

Will squatted next to his son, holding his fist out.

Henry bumped his own fist against his dad’s, jumping up and down as he watched his Uncle Spencer smile.

Henry liked it when Uncle Spencer smiled because of something he did.

*

“I’m so sorry about today,” JJ sat next to Will on her brown leather couch, a glass of wine in her hand.

“Oh don't worry doll, it was good talking to Reid anyways.”

Will attempted to hide the smirk behind his beer bottle, looking at his wife with raised eyebrows.

“Spencer enjoyed meeting Ms. (L/N).”

JJ coughed the wine she was drinking back into her glass.

“No way, Ms. (L/N) doesn't seem like his type.”

Will shrugged, taking the last bit of beer and placing the drink on the coaster.

“He hugged her.”

JJ turned her head, watching her husband with wild eyes.

“He hugged her? Did he have a gun to his head!”

“Nope, your son was playing cupid.”

JJ smirk to herself this time, that sounded like Henry.

“Ms. (L/N) is way too adventurous for Spence, she jumped off a cliff once just so she could tell people she was the friend that jumps off the bridge.”

Will rolled his eyes, a smile on his lips as he watched the fireplace burn with passion.

“He could use the adventure in his life, the most excited thing that happens to that kid is getting PhDs and getting shot.”

JJ didn't mean to, she really didn't, but she snorted.

“That’s not funny.”

“Then why'd you laugh doll.”

*

JJ circled the corner from her office, walking into the bullpen with her nose in her phone.

“JJ!”

She looked up at the call of her name, the text from her mom would have to wait a minute.

“Spence?”

Spencer jogged from his desk, his long legs bringing him over to her quickly.

“I saw you had more files on your desk and I was wondering if you needed me to pick Henry up again. Sunday you mention Will works on Wednesday so,”

Spencer trailed off, suddenly breaking eye contact with JJ.

Oh my, he broke eye contact!

“Um- that's really sweet-”

“I'll leave now.”

Without another thought Spencer grabbed a set of keys from his desk, running out the glass doors of the bullpen.

JJ turned around, the shock written across her face as she watched Spencer back walk into the elevator.

“What’s going on?”

Emily's strong voice echoed beside JJ, the mug of coffee could be seen out the side of her eye.

“I think Spence has a crush on Henry teacher.”

*

“Afternoon Doc.”

(Y/N) leaned on the open window of Spencer beetle, a smile on her lips. Spencer heard the back door of his car open but didn't pay much mind to it.

“Ms. (L/N).”

“The past month you've been picking Henry up, did JJ and Will die?”

Spencer let out a giggle, now that had Henry falling into a fit in the backseat.

“No just Will has been having more work than normal and JJ is helping our tech analyst with finding cases.”

Ok so maybe at this very moment Will was definitely at home and JJ was laughing with Emily at her desk, but that definitely wasn't the point.

“Well I’m glad to see your back from the last case, Henry did not enjoy taking the bus Monday,” Ms. (L/N) tapped the side of the car and stood up to her full height.

“Ms. (L/N)!)

She slowly leaned back down, looking back at Henry who was jumping in their seat.

“For Parent Day, can I bring mommy friends!”

Shit, I’m one of mommy’s friends.

“If they can all make it there they are welcome, I’ll set them up a booth and every Henry.”

Henry was jumping up and down in his seat, a wicked smile across his face showing off his missing front tooth.

“Thank you Ms. (L/N), you're the best.”

She smiled and stood back up her full height, watching as Spencer quickly back out his parking spot and jumped on the bypass.

“Uncle Spencer, can I call mommy from your phone?”

“Of course Henry, look in the side pocket of my bag.”

Henry grabbed the bag that sat beside him, pulling out his godfather phone and finding his mom's contact.

He rang a few times before his mother's soft voice echoed through.

“Spence?”

“Hi mommy!”

He heard her laugh to herself, in the background sounded a lot like Aunt Emily, but there were much more important things right now.

“I did it mommy, I did!”

“That’s my boy.”

*

“Hotch, we need to be home this Friday.”

JJ stood in the middle of Hotch office, pleading eyes as she begged him to stay here and come to the school.

“I can't promise-”

“It’s just an hour or two, I really need this.”

Hotch looked up at the blonde through his eyelashes, looking at the stack of papers in front of him.

“I’ll see what I can do, but if it's serious we have to go.”

JJ smiled, blowing a kiss to Hotch as she left his office. Rossi stood outside the door, a smile large across his face.

“So-”

“Get ready for Operation Schoolyard.”

*

“Wow, do you have a gun?”

Hotch let a smile grace his lips, smiling at the kid who was asking Hotch a new question ever second.

“I do.”

“Come on guys, my family is over here.”

The team looked up to see little Henry dragging four kids over to the booth, pointing at the members of the team with a wiggling finger.

“Meet my mommy and my aunts and my uncles,” Henry said as he pulled on the skirt Ms. (L/N) wore.

“I know JJ and Doc-”

Doc?

So they had nicknames, this was more serious than they planned.

“- but it's wonderful to meet the rest of you.”

“You too, Pretty Boy here talks about you so much I knew we had to meet,” Morgan slapped a hand on Reid's shoulder, pushing him slightly from the spot he stood in.

“Awh, I’m honored to be a topic of conversation.”

JJ looked over her shoulder, Rossi giving a big thumbs up before looking at the kids.

“Wanna learn how to profile?”

Each kid nodded their head, Henry crossing his arm and looking up at his Uncle Rossi.

“I already know how Uncle Rossi.”

“I know kid, but we gotta teach your friends.”

Rossi turned back to the group of small children, each looking at each member with wide eyes.

“How about we use my friends Doctor Spencer Reid as an example.”

Spencer's eyes bugged out his head, turning to his co-worker with an expression of horror.

“Doctor Reid posture was the slightest bit hunched before Ms. (L/N) came over here, which means he feels the need to hold a nice image around her.”

Loud coughing came tumbling out of Spencer's mouth and Rossi would have felt horrible if he wasn't doing this for the greater good.

“Also Doctor Reid was talking louder before as well but now he is peeking quieter which shows he is nervous.”

Emily stood beside Rossi watching Ms. (L/N), she was shuffling her feet and wasn't making eye contact anymore.

“Wow, that's so cool,” one kid spoke before his eyes started wandering.

“Look it’s a dog.”

The fire department dog was bought through the doors of the gym, all five keys jumping from their spot and running as fast as they could.

Spencer's eyes stayed on his Ms. (L/N) as her hands dropped into one of her pockets.

“I’m sorry about that, first graders love dogs.”

“I was more a cat person,” Emily spoke before turning to look at the sweet teacher before her.

“I don't think I could keep something like that alive, maybe a fish?”

“I have a fish!”

Spencer's voice was high and his teammates tried to hide the smile, but that was something they had a hard time with at these times.

“Really?”

Spencer just nodded his head, his eyes blew and his shoe tapped against the gym floor.

“Well I’ve been looking into getting one-”

Her hand reached over, grabbing Spencers and placing a piece of paper in the middle of his hand.

“and maybe you could set it up.”

Spencer swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bouncing as he nodded his head. She smiled at him and began walking to the group of kids who have surrounded the dog.

“Spencer, you don't have a fish,” Penelope spoke out for the first time in a while, standing in the back with a huge smirk.

“I’ll get one.”

cm tag list:

@itsarayofsunshine @m-n-m @aquarius-pisces-rose @victomizedbyreginageorge @avaxreid @erinxneil

[blood-orange-juice]

Scara being a disposable test subject fits his story so well! Imagine his indignation when he finds out, doesn't matter whether the final gnoses recipient is Dottore or Childe. He didn't just fail at being an artificial god, no one even expected him to succeed, the manmade perfect being was always supposed to be someone else.

(personally I'm betting on Dottore. I don't think the Harbingers would treat the centerpiece of their grand plan they way they treat Childe, and also it was in motion long before he tagged along. but who knows)

I'll be surprised if they handle Tonya differently! From the info we have (Childe mentions her having a growth spurt) she should be around the age when he fell and yes, eventually she'll get more emotionally mature. It's hard not to when Childe is stuck at the age of his trauma.

At some point she is bound to notice that the pretty stories he tells to himself don't match reality that well.

From what I see, his love for his family could be the reason behind both duty and the desire to grow stronger (he doesn't normally admit it but it slips out in a conversation with Teucer and I believe he's genuine there). I wonder if Pulcinella befriending Childe's siblings is a way of utilizing that. "Do it for them and their future."

("be an obedient little cog and sacrifice yourself")

So it could even be a conflict between actual love and the idea of love. His story quest has already set it up: he went to all those lengths to create a Perfect Childhood Experience for Teucer, while all the boy really wanted was to see his brother.

(choosing between the fairytale role he's trying to play and his real self, not between love and duty.

Childe pls slow down and stop larping for a second)

I need this scene. "You Are Wrong And I Will Now Explain Why." The boy needs a good telling off and there are not a lot of people he would accept that from. Tonya could be the only one, actually.

(other little siblings are too young, the Traveler is too indifferent and everyone else is complicit in how he turned out to be, so they don't have the right to say anything)

And yeah... I hope we will get a lot of non-romantic love in that expansion. Family, friendships, found family, knightly devotion, everything.

A good analysis of Childe's themes/possible future role. The best I've seen probably.

[katedrakeohd]

Once Upon a Merry Birthday

[Masterlist]

A 12 days of Fictmas story

Pairing: Drake Walker x (MC) Kate Walker

Books: TRR - TRH

Warnings: Swearing, Adult Themes, mentions Post Pardem Depression/Anxiety

Word count: 7000 +

Writer tags: : @texaskitten30 @emichelle @leelee10898   @zaffrenotes @alj4890 @burnsoslow @kat-tia801 @darley1101 @msjr0119 @annekebbphotography @god-save-the-keen @plumeriavibes

@ofpixelsandscribbles @camillemontespan  @ao719 @cocomaxley @cordoniansgonewild @twinkleallnight @the-soot-sprite @cordoniantrash @axwalker @innerpostmentality @lucy-268 @janezillow

Reader tags:: @mom2000aggie @sfb123 @bbrandy2002 @debramcg1106 @desireepow-1986 @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @fluffyfirewhiskey @jovialyouthmusic  

Twas the week before Christmas, and throughout the manor at Duchy Valtoria, decorating was in full swing. Everyone was in high festive spirits, since the weather had brought a fresh blanket of white sparkly snow to the ground, and a crisp chill to the air. Well almost everyone was feeling festive. The Duchess was the exception. Over the course of the preceding months she had been too preoccupied with the care of her baby girl, Brooklyn, to even think about holidays.  Apart from the occasional official statement to the press regarding how the new Mother and the Princess Royal Heir were doing, they had pretty much kept away from the public eye. 

Kate felt so proud of her husband Drake for stepping up and shouldering the extra responsibility while she needed to take a step back. He had insisted it wasn't any trouble, since he’d had Hana, King Liam, and occasionally Bertrand to offer him advice or guidance. But Kate couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt when she would find him sound asleep at his desk after a long day of Zoom meetings and diplomacy. She knew he was forcing himself outside of his common man comfort zone for her sake, and for the good of the Duchy. He'd even changed his work wardrobe to include dress shirts instead of his usual denim, at least from the waist up anyway.

Even after all of that, Drake was determined to do something special for Kate's Birthday. Being born a week before Christmas shouldn't mean your day couldn't be just as grand.  

After putting Brooklyn down for a nap, they’re in their bedroom packing for a short trip away. Kate doesn't know what to pack, since Drake was being secretive as to their destination. She was already feeling the beginnings of anxiety over leaving Brooklyn behind. Sitting in the middle of the bed in her comfy oversized sweater and sweatpants, she has the speaker of the baby monitor resting in her lap. She’s only half engaged in paying attention to Drake, her ears keenly listening for the slightest sound from the nursery.

Drake packs a pair of bluejeans into his suitcase, hiding the dress slacks and socks he had already packed. Kate hadn't even noticed him picking out formal wear and putting it into a garment bag. Her own suitcase only contained an old t-shirt that she wore with a pair of shorts as sleepwear. Drake cringed at the thought of seeing her wear that again. Her wardrobe over the past seven months had consisted mostly of his baggy old sweats and t-shirts, or just an old t-shirt and boxer shorts under a robe. Although she showered periodically, and changed into clean things, her sloppy look was proof she wasn't making herself a priority. Drake missed the beautiful, all put together, woman who he’d fallen in love with.  She was in need of a break from just being Mom, and Drake knew just how to do it. Kate deserved to feel special again, and not just feel needed by someone. 

Drake packed his last few things and zipped up his suitcase. When he notices that Kate is still distracted he pulls his case off the bed and sets it down on the floor with a loud thud. She jumps with fright and he finally gets her attention. 

Sitting down on the bed, he pulls her over to him and she cuddles into his arms as they lay down together on the bed. Placing a kiss on the top of her head he sighs, "Look, I get it. You don't want to go anywhere. But I miss you, Kate."

"I'm right here, silly." she says, as she lays her head on his chest and he squeezes her tighter. 

"We need a date night. Just the two of us. I know you've been an amazing mother to our little Beanie, and it shows in how big she's growing and how happy she is." He moved his hand down her back, smoothing out the bulky material of her clothes to appreciate the shape of her body underneath. When he lifts up the edge of her shirt, she stiffens when his warm hand touches the bare skin of her lower back. "I know you're physically still here, but I miss my wife."

Kate squeezes her eyes shut against her unexpected tears as she whispers, "She's missed you too."

Drake leans back when he hears the sob in her voice, wiping away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs. "You don't need to hide under these bulky clothes, you're still beautiful to me Kate."

She chuckles, "Even if I've given up shaving, plucking and moisturizing?"

Drake raises his eyebrows, and then leans in to kiss her on the forehead. "Don't worry, we can work on minor things like that. I want you to feel good about yourself. Besides, Hana told me you've been doing pilates and yoga together again. So there's nothing for you to feel self conscious about."

"I don't fit into my clothes the way I used to."

Drake shrugs, "So we'll buy you some new clothes. And if we need to alter something from your closet, don't worry, Hana can arrange it."

Kate sighs with gratitude, "You're so wonderful to me Drake, I don't deserve you."

"Oh hush, you deserve all of me and the world Kate, never forget that. Now let's get you packed up for a romantic getaway."

"But Brooklyn.."

Drake gives Kate one more squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before rolling away from her and getting up from the bed. 

"Don't worry about Brooklyn, she's in good hands with Hana. Plus we're only a phone call away if you want to check in."

Kate glances over at the speaker for the baby monitor, it's still quiet, and then she sits up on the edge of the bed. "So are you going to tell me more about this romantic getaway you have planned?"

Drake shakes his head, "I can't give away everything, or it will spoil the surprise."

Kate looks over at her suitcase, "Well at least help me figure out what to pack. Sweaters, jeans, warm socks? I need a hint."

Drake nods, "Those will do for a start. Oh and a comfortable pair of warm boots and a coat. We're going to be out in the snow."

Kate gets up from the bed, "So I guess we're not jetting off to some tropical paradise then."

Pulling her into a hug, Drake smiles and then leans in to give her a tender kiss. "Maybe next year."

.

Drake opened the back door of the SUV for Kate. She gives the manor one more uneasy glance and then climbs in. They had both given Brooklyn hugs and kisses before leaving, and a list of instructions to Hana, but still Kate felt guilty. As Drake opens the other rear door and climbs into the SUV, he finds Kate looking worriedly at her phone as she's texting someone. With a sigh he swipes her phone out of her hands and tucks it into the pocket inside his jacket.

"Wha..Hey!" She protests, "Give that back."

Drake swats away her hands when she tries to go into his jacket for it. "Nope."

"But you said I could check in."

Drake feels the vibration of Kate's phone against his chest. "Don't you trust Hana with Brooklyn?"

Kate gnaws at her bottom lip, "Yeah, but.."

"But nothing. Just take a deep breath and let it go already."

Kate huffs in a quick breath and then lets it out, "Happy? Can I please have my phone back now?"

Drake chuckles as Preston climbs into the front seat and starts the engine, "Only if you promise to turn it off and put it away for the car ride."

Kate folds her arms across her chest and scowls angrily at him. "Ok, fine. But only if you tell me where we're going."

Drake fishes her phone out of his pocket, "Do you remember last year when Max and I did the Father Christmas Parade?"

Kate's expression brightens a little as she relaxes her arms. "Yeah."

Drake sends a quick text to Hana, and then passes the phone over. "Well Max kept going on and on about how pretty the village was decorated for Christmas. And it occurred to me that you were missing out on seeing everything. So I figured we could do the touristy thing and spend the night at an Inn and…"

Kate leans over and covers his mouth with her fingers giggling, "Sssh, you had me at 'pretty village' . 

Drake takes her hand and kisses it, "Good, because I want you to have the best Birthday ever."

...

As they travel further away from the manor Kate focuses on the beautiful wintry scenery, and Drake's comforting hand in hers and soon her anxiety fades. It was starting to snow so Preston turned on the wipers. Drake gives Kate's hand a squeeze and then leans forward to tap Preston on the shoulder.

"How do the roads look?"

"So far they're just damp, but we should be fine. We have all wheel drive and snow tires."

Drake sits back again with a nod. "Good to know." 

Kate tucks her hand under Drake's arm and leans into his shoulder, he turns to kiss her on the forehead. Kate smiles as she catches the comforting smell of his cologne, "I thought you would have used this opportunity to drive us in your truck. I love sitting next to you in the front seat."

Drake shrugs, "I thought about it. But then I remembered that I needed to get my tires changed, and besides if I was driving…" Drake pauses to tilt her chin up and give her a tender kiss on the lips. "I wouldn't be able to do that, whenever I wanted to."

Kate sighs with happiness, as he wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her tighter against him. "I see your point. It's highly frowned upon to cuddle and drive. Or to do other things."

Drake catches Preston's eye in the rearview mirror when he looks back at them, he leans in to whisper in Kate's ear. "Seeing my point, along with doing other things, will have to wait until we don't have an audience."

Kate giggles as his lips move to her neck to plant gentle kisses. "How close are we to this Inn you were talking about?"

Preston shakes his head as he focuses on the road ahead, trying to ignore the sounds from the backseat.

….

An hour later Drake gently shakes Kate's shoulder to wake her. The warm interior of the car had lulled her to sleep and she had her head on his lap.

"Wakey wakey, Birthday Katie."

Kate moans sleepily and hugs him  across the knees, "Five more minutes."

The rush of cold air on her face when Preston opens his door to get out jolts her awake and Drake laughs. "We're here, and I think you could use some fresh air to revive you."

Kate sits up and stretches, wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth, "Oh sorry, must have dozed off."

Drake looks past Kate to the building they're parked in front of, "That's ok, you're forgiven. There wasn't much to see during the drive anyway, just snow and trees and mountains. We've finally made it to civilization."

Kate steps out of the car and looks up at the towering stone facade of their hotel, "Wow, this place is beautiful."

While she takes her phone out of her pocket to take pictures, Preston signals for Drake's attention and then pulls him aside.

"The weather reports are forecasting nasty weather tomorrow afternoon, what time in the morning do you want to be picked up?"

Drake shakes his head with a frown,"Didn't you get the itinerary that I sent to your email? Along with the list of things I need you to do?"

"Yes, but under the circumstances I thought you might want to change your plans. For safety's sake."

"I booked us for two days, and I don't plan on leaving early."

"But there's a storm coming." Preston insists.

"And your point is?"

"You're likely to get snowed in, and it'll take most of the second day before the roads are cleared. Meaning it'll take longer for me to come get you."

"Yes, it will." Drake replies, patting Preston on the arm. "Just do as I've asked, and then help yourself to a nice dinner at the hotel. Charge it to my room, and then go home."

Kate glances over at them with a look of concern, "What're you two talking about?"

Preston smirks at Drake, "You've got this all planned don't you? You saw the weather report."

"I did. Now please stop fucking around and get our luggage." Drake mumbles and then walks over to Kate.

He wraps his arm around her shoulders with a smile, steering her toward the hotel. "Welcome to Ravenhurst Castle, Kate. Our romantic getaway awaits."

Looking up at the steep slate roof, stone masonry, and tower climbing the corner of the building, Kate could see why they called it a castle. "You didn't have to go through this much trouble for me, Drake. I would have been just as happy staying at a simple Bed and Breakfast."

Drake stops on the stone walkway to pull her into his arms, "You're special to me, Kate. I couldn't let you spend the night just anywhere."

"But.."

Drake grabs her hand and then leads her up to the front door, "Just roll with it."

Preston follows them through the hotel lobby carrying their luggage. The three of them turn heads as they make their way to the front desk. Even dressed casually in jeans and sweaters, the presence of someone carrying your stuff was a dead giveaway that you were important. Preston drops their bags by the counter and takes up a protective position to watch the room. His fierce stare makes all the onlookers hurry off and mind their own business.

The hotel clerk behind the counter is bubbling with excitement and greets them with a wide smile, "Oh my goodness, welcome to The Ravenhurst! It's an incredible honour to have the Duke and Duchess stay with us. I'll have our best -..."

Drake shakes his head and holds up his hand to interrupt, "We already have a reservation."

"You..you do?" The clerk grabs her computer mouse and starts scrolling away as she searches the hotel registry on her computer screen.

"So you're not here to promote the Father Christmas Festival?"

Drake leans his elbows on the counter and lowers his voice,"Not this time. I was hoping to keep our visit as an unofficial one. We're under a different name. Try a reservation under Jones."

The clerk gives him a knowing smile, whispering. "Why of course Mr. Jones. I see your booking right here on my screen." Her expression changes to a frown when she notices something, "Unfortunately your room isn't quite ready. If you're looking for immediate accommodations though I could upgrade you to a suite."

"That will be fine, we just don't want to be fussed over, no paparazzi, just a quiet visit. Could you manage that for us please?"

Kate leaves Drake at the counter and wanders over to take pictures of the giant lobby Christmas tree. Preston breathes a sigh of annoyance at having his attention divided, he moves to another place in the lobby where he can still keep an eye on both of them.  Kate sees the bodyguard move out of the corner of her eye and decides to tease him a little. "Hey Preston, come on over and take a selfie with me over by the tree."

He checks to see that Drake is still in conversation with the clerk, and then after taking a quick visual sweep of the room for possible threats he nods, "Only because the position of the tree provides an optimal vantage point from which to survey the room."

Preston stands next to the tree, unsmiling and on alert. Kate tries to stand close enough to him so that he fits into the frame of her phone camera, but can't get a good angle because he's so tall. "You don't smile much do you?"

Preston keeps his eyes trained on the room and mumbles. "I'm on duty, Your Grace."

Kate makes a funny face at her phone screen, trying to crack Preston's facade and get him to smile. "I've seen you talk to Drake and be more relaxed. Are you scared of little ole me?"

Preston doesn't answer at first, hazarding a glance her way and then looking away when their eyes meet on  her phone screen. "It's not you I'm afraid of."

Across the room Drake steps away from the check-in counter and then walks over with a smirk on his face. 

"Is she misbehaving, Preston?" 

Preston gives a slight nod and then steps aside to give Drake room to slip his arm around Kate, "Our room isn't quite ready. But I may have arranged for some special hotel extras during our stay."

Kate snuggles into his warmth, feeling that familiar flutter that ripples through her every time she gets lost in his eyes, or he lights her up with his smile. "Oh? What sort of special extras?"

"Ravenhurst has a spa and salon onsite, two restaurants, and their own winery."

"Ooh, fancy. But didn't you promise me a tour of a pretty little town decorated for Christmas?"

Drake grins, "I did, and it would be a nice way to kill some time while they get our room ready. Besides, after being cooped up in the car for so long I could use a walk to stretch my legs."

Kate looks over at Preston, "Is Mr.Tall Broad shouldered and Serious coming with us?"

Drake notices Preston clenching his jaw trying not to react to her question, "No, he has other things to do. Then he's going home."

"But, Your Grace.." Preston argues.

After taking a quick look around to make sure they weren't causing a scene in the lobby, Drake answers quietly, "But nothing, just see to it that our luggage is safely taken up to our room when it's ready. Grab a meal on us, and then you're free to go. Don't worry about us, Preston, we'll be fine."

…

Drake and Kate leave Preston behind at the hotel to walk arm in arm to the village. Glancing back over her shoulder at the hotel, Kate asks, “Do you really think Preston can turn off Guard Duty mode long enough for us to have a private stroll?”

“I’m betting he’ll give us a five minute head start at least before he starts tracking us in the SUV.”

Kate giggles as the snowflakes tickle her cheeks and eyelashes, “Thanks for doing this for me. I really did need to get out of the house for a bit.”

Drake pulls his winter hat down further over his ears, his warm breath floating away in the chilly air, “You’re welcome. We both needed this. There’s nothing like taking a walk through a winter wonderland to lift your spirits.”

The tiny village of Raven’s Rest loves to decorate for Christmas. Every railing, light pole, and window was either trimmed with greenery and twinkling lights or wore a sparkling red bow or festive ornaments. With the fresh snow on the roofs and joyful music spilling out from every other opened shop door, it felt and looked like Christmas spirit came to life. The scents of cinnamon, nutmeg and chocolate wafted from a bakery café as Drake and Kate passed under its 

striped red and white awning. Drake pulled in a deep breath and smiled as he pointed at the frosted gingerbread house displayed in the window.

 “This looks like a perfect place to stop for a hot chocolate and a treat. What do you say Kate?”

Kate felt her stomach growl, “I say lead the way Mr. Jones.”

After ordering hot chocolates topped with whipped cream and candy cane sprinkles, and a plate of decorated cookies to share, they’re seated at a table for two by the window. Drake picks up a gingerbread star and bites off a corner. He looks at the decadent drink sitting in front of him and wonders if there was a possible way to not get it all over his face when he attempted to taste it. 

Kate can see the confusion on his face as he chews his cookie, she giggles as she stirs the whipped cream on the top of her cup with a candy cane. “You look scared. Don’t worry it won’t bite. And no there isn't any way to avoid the whipped topping to get at the drink underneath. A little cream on your face is all part of the fun.”

She demonstrates by lifting her cup and delicately sipping at the candied rim, a smear of cream clings to her upper lip when she sets it back down. “See? Think of it just like your Santa beard from last year.”

Drake mumbles as he scrubs at the light stubble on his cheek, “Don't remind me.”

 His beard had been much further along the year before, and he had used white stage makeup to whiten his whiskers. Unfortunately the makeup had  made his skin itch. This year he was grateful that Maxwell was volunteering to be Santa for the parade.

Drake nearly chokes on his cookie as he watches Kate lick the cream off her lip. He coughs into his fist and then picks up his drink to wash down the crumbs. He gets cream on his nose and lips, and then wipes it off with a napkin, “It's much more fun to watch you drink it.”

Kate noisily slurps the whipped cream on the top of her hot chocolate, while Drake grabs a sugar cookie and uses it to scoop the froth off of his. “Ooh Drake, that's a good idea.”

The café is nearly empty of patrons and Kate is grateful not to have onlookers taking their picture, especially with the way Drake was devouring his cookie and getting cream all over his mouth and chin. She giggles and hands him another napkin, "You, uh have a little something on your face there honey."

Drake grunts, "Thanks." 

He's annoyed at how sticky his face feels as he wipes off the cream, "Drinks don't need all this extra crap on them. That's why I prefer my coffee basic and black. And my hot chocolate tasting like chocolate."

"Oh bah humbug Mr. Scrooge, I figured a guy so into s'mores and marshmallows would enjoy something like this."

Drake wipes the cookie crumbs off of his jacket, "Hey don't get me wrong, I love a decorated cookie or dessert. But I prefer my drinks a little less childish and messy."

Kate shrugs, "I guess I see your point. But never tell Hana she can't put marshmallows in your hot chocolate, it would break her heart."

He nods, glancing at Kate's phone on the table. "If you want to check in with her, I won't stop you. I'm curious myself how our little Beanie is doing."

Kate wipes her hands on a napkin and then picks up her phone, "You don't mind? I'm dying to send her pictures of the hotel Christmas tree and tell her where we are."

Drake smiles and then lifts his hot chocolate to his lips. He doesn't dare tell Kate that he and Hana had been planning this birthday trip for weeks. 

While Kate happily texts away to Hana, Drake watches the snow falling outside the window. The grey sky was darkening as the flakes got heavier. They soon needed to head back to the hotel. The pedestrian traffic was much lighter than when they entered the café, and the street lamps were coming on. He can see the dark shape of an SUV creeping along the street in the distance. No doubt it was Preston.

Drake is in mid-sip when his phone rings in his pocket, making him jump and spill the hot chocolate all over himself and the table. "Gah! Son of a - …"

Kate gasps in surprise and jumps out of her seat. "Oh my goodness, Drake."

She grabs the remaining napkins from the table and dabs at the front of his jacket as he puts down his cup and pushes his chair back. He swats her hands away when she tries to wipe his lap, "It's ok, it's ok! Let me do that."

Kate chews on her lip as she watches an employee approach with a roll of paper towels.

 "I'm so sorry. We'll clean this up. Could you bring us a bag so we can take our cookies to go?"

Drake sighs as he unzips his jacket and takes out his phone when the ringing stops, "Preston, you Prick."

The car pulls up outside and parks, waiting, the wipers swiping away the snow. Drake sends Preston a quick message, I told you to go home.

Preston answers back, Need a lift?

.

Drake and Kate pile into the backseat of the SUV, brushing the snow off of themselves. In the clean, warm interior of the vehicle the scent of the spilled hot chocolate on Drake's clothes is very noticeable, adding to his discomfort at having wet pants. 

Drake takes off his jacket and then folds it up and puts it down on the floor. He inspects his sweater and shirt for chocolate stains. 

"Thanks for picking us up, Preston. If we'd tried to walk back to the hotel we would have been soaked and frozen before we got there," Kate says, smiling at the security guard." 

"I'm already soaked," Drake mutters, looking down at the dark wet stain on his lap.

Kate pats him on the arm, "I meant from the snow, Dear."

Preston checks their surroundings and then does a u-turn in the road to take them back to the hotel.

"How did he find us anyway?"

Drake answers, "Most likely tracked my phone with the GPS."

Kate looks at him with surprise, "He can track our phones? Is that even legal?"

Drake nods, "After Anton kidnapped us from our own wedding, it was discussed among the council that the security team needed extra help in case it ever happened again. Liam approved it."

"I guess that makes sense. But then all we would have needed to do to escape would leave our phones behind." 

Preston speaks up, "It's not a foolproof plan, Your Grace, but it still gives us a place to start if one of you suddenly went missing."

It doesn't take long to return to the hotel, but thanks to the heavy clouds it was already getting dark. When Preston parks the SUV Drake asks, "So did you deliver all of our bagage to our room and do a security check to make sure it was safe?"

"Of course, Sir."

"Did you get yourself a room, Preston? It's too late for you to head home now."

Drake looks at Kate with a frown, "Don't encourage him to babysit us."

"It's his job to keep us safe, Drake, so let him do it."

…

After collecting their room keys the three of them head up to their rooms. Preston has conveniently booked the room next to Drake and Kate. 

"Consider yourself off duty for the rest of the evening, Preston. Relax and enjoy yourself." Kate says, smiling.

"If that's at all possible." Drake mutters as he unlocks the door to their room. 

As soon as Drake enters the room he starts stripping off his clothes. Kate can't help but laugh. "Woah there cowboy, at least warm me up with some foreplay before we jump right into it."

Drake grumbles as he kicks off his boots and then unzips his jeans, "Ha ha, so not funny. At least you don't smell and feel like a walking candy bar."

Kate leans against the corner of the antique four poster bed as she watches Drake fuss around half naked, digging around in his luggage for his bath supplies. "I dunno, I kind of like the smell of chocolate on you. Gives me a reason to seek out all the parts of you that taste the sweetest."

Drake can't help but grin, as he leans in to kiss her cheek. Kate frowns when she realizes how sticky his face is. "Still like it?"

Kate makes a face and then wipes at her cheek. "Ok, I get it. Go get a shower and a shave."

As he wanders across the room naked, Drake points at the Welcome Basket on the table by the window. 

"I asked the hotel if they could throw in some complimentary spa treatments as a Birthday gift. Why don't you check some of them out and then we could go to the restaurant for dinner. Go get yourself all pampered and feeling gorgeous for our date night."

Before Kate can protest that she had nothing fancy to wear to dinner, Drake disappears into the bathroom. With a shrug she picks up the spa brochure and then sits down on the bed while she nibbles on the cookies from the bakery. 

"Oooh, they have a special brown sugar body scrub treatment. That would feel so nice, and I would smell delicious afterward." Kate mumbles around her mouthful of cookie. "And I could get my hair and nails done, perfect." 

After looking through the envelope of coupons for the free treatments she wanted, Kate walks over to the bathroom door and knocks. "Thanks so much for the spa coupons, I'm going to take advantage of some of these and then see you later."

Drake rinses his razor in the sink and then pauses his shaving to answer, "Good for you. Text me when you're all finished and I'll meet you here to get ready. I'm going to explore the hotel a little bit myself."

Kate kisses her fingertips and then presses them to the door, "Love you, Drake."

Drake smiles, "I love you too."

.

After finishing his shave and shower, Drake finds the phone number on the brochure and calls down to the Spa.

When his call is answered there's a women's voice on the line, "Bella Salon and Spa, how may I help you?"

Drake runs his hand back through his wet hair, "Hi, do you have a customer there booked in under the name Jones or Walker?"

"I'm sorry, sir, in order to respect the privacy of our clients we cannot disclose that information."

"Oh, Ok. I understand. My wife is there and I want to book a haircut without her seeing me. I want to surprise her later during our dinner date."

"Our salon closes within the hour, but if you're in need of a clipper cut I can squeeze you in right away. What name should I put next to your reservation?"

Drake thinks for a moment, "Davis, Preston Davis."

…

Kate sits in the makeup chair at the Salon in one of their plush robes. She felt like she had just received the royal treatment after the body scrub and facial. Next they were doing the finishing touches to her makeup application and hair styling, followed by a manicure and pedicure. On the other side of the partition wall she can hear the sound of a pair of clippers buzzing on and off and occasionally a man's voice in conversation with the stylist. 

She couldn't be sure because of the way the sounds echoed off of the hard surfaces in the salon, but it sounded like Drake. She felt like a bride on her wedding day trying to hide away from the groom until she was ready. It made her tingle with excitement inside over meeting him for dinner. In her mind she was mulling over what blouse and pair of jeans to wear, wishing she had packed something more feminine. But knowing that Drake would probably be dressed casually as well helped. 

…

Drake sat at the bar in his black dress shirt, jacket and slacks. He had to resist the urge to smooth his hand over his freshly trimmed hair, hoping that Kate would like it. Any minute now she'd be returning to their room to dress for dinner. He picked at the bowl of mixed nuts and pretzels on the bar, and singled out all the peanuts to munch on as he waited. 

An attractive female bartender smiles as she notices him sitting all by himself and walks over, "Good evening sir, could I interest you in a drink? Or are you more interested in grazing from the snack bowl."

"I'll take a whiskey on the rocks, for now." Drake answers, trying to maintain his composure as her hungry gaze makes him feel like he's the snack.

"For now? Are you anticipating ordering more later?" 

He smiles as she prepares his drink, "I'm expecting someone."

She nods as she slides the glass of whiskey back across the bar to him, "Well, when your date arrives let me know. I'll get her something special. My name is Amanda by the way."

Drake picks up his glass and gives the whiskey an appreciative sniff and then a sip, he nods toward Amanda lifting his glass in a salute, "Drake."

His phone buzzes in his pocket as he sets the glass down again.

…

Kate lets herself back into her room after her time at the spa. The soft coziness of the robe wrapped around her felt so nice, and she hated to take it off to put on her casual denim again.

She's surprised to find herself alone in the room and sends Drake a quick text. Spa appt all done, feeling fantastic. Where are you?

D: I'm down at the bar enjoying a whiskey. Can't wait to see you.

K: What should I wear? I didn't pack anything fancy.

D: There's a present for you under the bed.

K: Drake.

D: Just read the letter attached and humor me. Happy Birthday Kate.

…

Kate puts her phone down on the table and purses her lips with a frown, she was afraid of what might be in the box. After hiding under baggy clothes and bluejeans for months she was worried that whatever was in the box wouldn't fit.

Kneeling down on the floor she peeks under the bed. There's a large green rectangular box and a smaller white one that looked like a shoe box. She drags out the green box first and sets it on the bed. There's an envelope taped to the top. She should feel happy about Drake buying her a present but she just felt nervous instead. Sucking in a deep breath and then letting it out to help calm her nerves, Kate opens the envelope. There's a handwritten letter inside, and she can't help but feel a rush of emotion at the care it took for him to write it all by hand. 

____

Dear Kate,

I'll never forget the night we met. We were all there for him, and then along came you. At the time you were just the waitress that was willing to show us a good time. I thought you were cute and all, but never figured I would stand a chance. You made an impression on a future King that night, and an impression on me.

 I'm not sure when everything changed in my favor, maybe it was that night at Applewood or maybe it was when I jumped in front of that bullet, realizing I would rather die than live in a life without you. We've been through a lot to get where we are now, and despite the ups and downs you married me instead. You've shown me a life and love I never thought I'd have and for that I'll be eternally grateful. 

Now between us we've created a new life in our little girl. Becoming a parent changes a person. You're no longer responsible for just your own life but for someone else's too. Some days this scares me to death, and then I see you holding Brooklyn in your arms and know that we're going to be alright. 

I'm excited to discover my new life as a father, and to get to know the mother you are becoming. So tonight on your Birthday I want to meet you all over again for the first time. So what do you say Kate? Have you ever wanted to meet that mysterious stranger in a bar that only has eyes for you?

Love, Drake.

___

Kate plucked a tissue out of the box on the bedside table. She was glad that she had chosen the waterproof mascara, because now her eyes burned with tears. Drake was right, becoming a mom had changed her. At times she was scared too, but knowing that Drake was always going to be by her side to help raise Brooklyn made her heart feel more full. After dabbing at her eyes she delicately blew her nose, not wanting to smudge her makeup, and then lifted the cover on the box. Peeling back the tissue paper she gasps and then reaches for her phone. 

….

Drake finished off his whiskey and then checked the time on his phone. He didn't want to call her in case she was busy getting dressed, but he was starting to worry that she wasn't going to show. Amanda raises her eyebrows and holds up the whiskey bottle to quietly ask if he wanted a refill. He shakes his head and then sticks his hand in the snack bowl again to grab a pretzel. Before he can eat it his phone rings. It's Kate.

"Hello?" He answers. 

"I can't wear this."

"Sure you can."

"Because of the way the top is designed I can't wear a bra."

Drake shrugs, "So don't wear one."

"Hah! This mother of a 7 month old child needs a little more support thank you very much."

"Didn't you wear a dress similar to this to Max's birthday party last year?"

"Well, yes…"

"Just try it on. I promise you'll look beautiful in it."

"You're biased because you think I look good in anything."

"Yes, I do. I also think you look good in nothing at all. Now are you coming down to dinner?"

Kate is quiet on the other end for a few seconds, "Ok, fine. But I need pretty shoes to wear with a dress like this."

Drake smiles, "I'm guessing you haven't opened the other box yet. When you're ready, text Preston and ask him to escort you down to Edgar's Restaurant. I'll be waiting for you over by the bar."

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