#but god Tim nobody chose not to be born into a rich stable american family like you were

[wesavegotham]

I wonder if this is where most of the "Dick is Damian's dad!" opinions stem from. Damian can't see his actual father as his dad, it has to be someone he's not related to by blood.

Dick and Damian have a special bond, but at no point during their time as Batman and Robin did Dick act really fatherly towards Damian. And Damian didn't want Dick to be his father, Damian was proud to be Bruce's son and he felt insecure because he hadn't really gotten to know Bruce before his "death" and was unsure if Bruce would let him stay on as Robin once they knew he was still alive.

Yes, he insulted Bruce and praised Dick when he was working together with his father, but he also insulted Dick and praised Bruce when working with Dick. That's just what Damian does. It doesn't mean he rejected being Bruce's son and wanted Dick to be his dad instead.

Damian is Bruce's son and he wants his father's love. I see nothing wrong with that. Of course he went about it completely wrong at first, but he was acting under the rules he knew. Yes, they were morally wrong, but that wasn't his fault, he was taught that securing your place by taking out your competition was not only right but worthy of praise. And Tim being all "if he wants to be a part of the family he'll have to earn it like the rest of us" was an understandable reaction considering that Damian tried to kill him, but it was also wrong. It shouldn't be treated as valid.

Did Tim have to earn his right to be his bio parents son? No. He was simply treated as such because he was and even his stepmother treated him with love.

And the other batkids do care about their biological parents too, no matter what fandom says. Dick holds his biological parents in high regard and still misses them, he just doesn't let himself be consumed by his grief like Bruce does. Originally Jason's dad was actually a decent father who turned to crime only to support his family and Jason died trying to protect his biological mother even after she betrayed him. For most of his Robin career Tim had a father and step-mother he cared about and that cared about him in return even if there were sometimes tensions between them. Stephanie might resent her father, but she doesn't see Bruce as her dad. Cass was raised to be an assassin by her father, but despite that she clearly cared for him in her own way and he for her.

In the end a child shouldn't need to earn their place in a family. Especially if they have trauma. Dick did the right thing by taking Damian under his wing and integretating Damian into the family even if it hurt Tim at first. What was Dick supposed to do? If Bruce had been in his place what was he supposed to do?

"Sorry Damian, can't stay here with me, I'm sending you back to the league of assassins or a foster family and I will deny you to get to know me because it hurts Tim's feelings, bye!"

Like...what do some people think would have been a better course of actions in that situation? Tim was 17 when Damian joined the household. I don't think it should be a controversial opinion that taking care of the 10 year child gets priority. And it's not like they didn't try to be there for Tim either, he just rejected it.

In fact making Damian "earn his place in the family" would just deepen Damian's belief that love and acceptance by his family needs to be earned through work and sacrifice and I hate every story that does that. It's such a terrible message. Damian is a child. A victim. Even if he's not a "perfect victim". He still deserves care, respect and help.

It's not his fault he wasn't born into a stable normal american family like Tim was and it shouldn't be held against him that he wants the love of his biological parents who are both still alive.

Thinking of the damian "blood son" rhetoric in fandom and I think people don't like to admit they yeah he does think he's better than other people but many times it is bc his training or his feats, he constantly makes allusions to his training, bc then they can't just say "oh he's a spoiled kid who just got everything handed to him for being bruces/ras son/grandson " but like... he clearly worked hard for what he has (including a place in the batfam)