#but from one person who struggled deeply with academic smarts eg exams and essays i’m just projecting on James really

[james-sunshine-potter]

you know that scene from the simpsons where bart breaks down to miss krabappel cause he failed a test but this time he tried?

for some reason that reminds a lot of what james would be like as student, especially in the middle years of hogwarts.

i imagine james in the earlier years as one of those kids who never paid attention in class properly, always did homework last minute and never revised but always managed to pass. passed every test, handed their homework in somewhat on time. but he never did amazing. in the first three years of hogwarts, he was never near the top of the class. if anything, he was close to the bottom.

all in all, he scrapped by and was fine with it. the grades never bothered him and he never tried to change it.

but then work got harder, and there was more pressure and expectations to do well and all his friends were getting better, getting praise and recognition. they were getting well above passing grades, never failing exams and had something to be proud of... and james was still scrapping by. a mark or two above failing, going as far as to being made to resit exams and essays and projects cause it's fifth year and exams are around the corner and he wasn't getting it.

so he gets put in private study sessions with mcgonagall, or otherwise he'd have to get pulled out of quidditch. that was mcgonagall's compromise. cause she believed him enough to help, something no other teacher did. he was basically failing all classes cause he wasn't trying.

and due to the threat on his place on the team, he actually started trying. he spent all his free time in the library, stopped putting all his focus on pranks, even convinced remus to help him study. he did everything he needed to do for it, spending every waking hour thinking about it. put extra effort into all his other subjects and homework. he participated in class, did the tasks done and went to every study sessions with mcgonagall.

and then when the next exam rolled around in mcginagall's class, he put his all into it. worked from the very first second and to the very last... and failed. full on failed. didn't even get a passing grade.

and i just imagine have this converstion being like...

m: 'i thought things would different this time,'

j: 'same...'

m: 'what went wrong?'

j: 'i don't know, i thought i was doing good'

m: ‘me too, this tell me otherwise’

j: ‘i tried’

m: ‘did you though james, have you been trying without me’

j: *crying* ‘yes! i have, i really tried this time mcgonagall, i really did! i read every book and spent all my time studying and did everything i needed to do! i really tried, you need to believe me, i need you to believe me, you can ask my friends will vouch for me, i did try! i want to do better, i tried so hard this time i swear!’

and this fail was the first fail which hurt because he really did try. this was the fail which got him to try harder in the later years of Hogwarts.

i just think about that scene a lot. cause i feel like James is a very smart person, but just isn’t an academic person. not at the beginning at least…