#but from context I've gathered most people use agoraphobia to mean an intense fear of crowds or just other people in general?
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hmmm i want railings on my bed like a hospital bed but most Bed Railings they sell have to be placed under the mattress to stay in place and i have an adjustable base that means my mattress gets folded frequently and cannot keep the rail in place
#i want to be Enclosed i need a little Nest#i want my extra pillows to not fall off my bed when I'm trying to swap them out#bc i need like. four or five different types of pillow depending on the day#so i just. keep them stacked up on the other side of my bed#this is also why i can't use a twin size bed most of my bed is Storage tbh#i prefer a full size king is large enough that i get Nervous lying in it by myself#when i had a king size flattress (it was. so damn thin) on the floor i ended up just piling shit in the corner#just to take up space bc i got very nervous without at least two walls very close to me#i like corners and i hate large rooms! i am the opposite of claustrophobic !#which i was once told was agoraphobic#but from context I've gathered most people use agoraphobia to mean an intense fear of crowds or just other people in general?#which i do have to some degree. but it's really just the super wide open spaces with no wall to my back that gets me#huh super deeply buried memory unlocked. maybe this has to do with how my elementary school would like. as a punishment at recess#have kids stand with their face to the building wall and they're not allowed to talk to anyone#and other kids who were playing at recess would just. throw things at the kids in detention or time out or whatever#and the teachers. wouldn't stop them???#and it wasn't just little pebbles or mulch it was footballs and large rocks#and if we moved out of the way we'd get time added to our wall time bc we weren't supposed to move at all either???????#god that school was a hellhole for the mentally abnormal
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