#but for some reason i haven't been able to for like three days. im sick and tired

[lowlychild]

i am thinking.

[thesnailtail]

hello neutual (new mutual). the idea of your MMJ -> Niigo genreswap is eating at my brain . I'm incredibly interested

;; hello neutual!!!!

;; is this an invitation to infodump? im taking this as an invitation to infodump :3

;; more more jump! the anonymous music circle who's members hide away from the public.

;; jist of everything is that minori "rinrin" starts composing to improve her abilities in idol auditions (don't question it), then (in order) airi "riri" gets roped in as the mv maker, then shizuku "rook" as the artist and after a whole lotta plot and sekai shenanigans, haruka "ruka" as the lyricist.

;; their personalities and whatnot are mostly the same. minori is super energetic and hopeful, for all except three hours of the day where she's the opposite (luckily she's usually asleep), haruka is haruka except sleep deprived and the guilt complex is worse, talking to airi is a 50/50 on whether she'll glare at you or walk away and shizuku... we'll get to that.

;; their sekai is the fairytale sekai and it's basically a massive forest, except for the one massive clearing that has a stage. except the stage is not in good condition..

;; each vocaloid is based off of a different fairytale thing. miku (princess) and luka (witch) are their starting vocaloids, but (in order) rin (some sorta forest spirit-esque thing) shows up in colour of myself, meiko (mythical creature tamer) shows up in you deserve it! break time!, kaito (royalty) shows up for worldwide wander and len (also some sorta forest spirit-esque thing) shows up at some other point that i haven't decided.

;; the order of events is slightly shuffled, only because colour of myself needs to be first. because colour of myself is the "shizuku quit your job" event. did i mention that she didn't quit during the main story? yeah she never gets the push she needs to quit and stays there. -> because the cloverdamned turning point quote is haruai

;; which leads back to the "and shizuku... we'll get to that." comment. yeah she's not doing well. she's been balancing work and these meetings (one of which she enjoys and finds comfort in. hint: it isn't the one involving her groupmates who hate her) so she's stressed, dealing with perfectionism and all that.

;; at some point in colour of myself, minori gets really sick and shizuku is very iffy about it. (her and rin were witness to minori starting her "sekai research", part one of which was to eat plants in the sekai. something bad happened.) that's the most random fact anyway continuing on

;; minori solves her problems in every event by getting a whole lot of sugar in her system, acting like 'normal' then sugar crashing at about four am. which is when she sleeps for three hours or just cries for no discernable reason. then she repeats this at seven am.

;; group relationship wise is funny because. minori is more chill about being in a group with the other three (having worked out their identities way before they all worked out each others and having time to process that).

;; so minoharu is along the lines of "ruka-chan responds to my kindness with trust issues. what do i do"

;; minoai is airi daring minori to do dumb stuff and minori doing it then airi getting incredibly concerned as she injures herself in more and more unhinged ways

;; and minoshizu is "[says anything]" "yeah, same".

;; haruai are attempting to murder each other at any given point. i would be joking but one of their first interactions (that ive written) in sekai is: "oh are you not gonna say hello to your groupmate momoi?" "go fuck yourself." "id rather not."

;; harushizu are looking at each other's situations and going "at least mine isn't that bad". <- they are both bad in different ways

;; shizuai is shizuai. airi is the main encourager for shizuku getting out of cheerful*days and shizuku is the number one fan of airi.

;; all of them are clingy, in very different ways. minori just needs to be able to hear them over call or see them and she's happy. shizuku will just grab onto people (airi or minori usually). airi and haruka act like they aren't clingy but panic if they haven't heard anything from one of their groupmates in a day.

;; this au is where the minoshizu part of this fic came from!

[illumisplumpcherry]

So I haven't been on tumblr in years. I've been sick in bed for the past three days and decided to make one again. (Happy three day anniversary to my blog I suppose). So it's safe to say that I've been reading non stop. And I was happy to find some amazing stories and headcanons, especially the ones catering to curvier girlies. Now let's get one thing straight: im a girls girl, and all shapes and sizes of women are absolutely stunning to me. But I do have to express the absolute comfort and giddiness I feel when bodies like mine are mentioned in such wonderful content <3

I'm a spicy little thing as well, so to be able to immerse myself into such passionate scenarios describing physical qualities that i have, definitely put those pretty little butterflies in my ovaries !!

Its really been a pleasure.

Although hunter x hunter was definitely my focus coming back on here, I indulged myself in other fandoms. I'm not sure if fandom is the right word when pertaining to anime? when I think of fandom, i think of kpop, in which i am a multi-fandom stan... id appreciate it if someone could correct me on that if im wrong... but what im trying to say is that I read much, much more. And ya girl couldn't get enough of Toji content. And here's why.

I'm a big woman. Not only am I tall (5'8), I'm very plush, very curvy, very...alot. I'm a lot. I'm a size 18 if that helps paint the picture? I'm not sure if it does, i just like oversharing :) but I'm just a lot of woman. And Toji is a lot of man...

So it got me thinking that I may have size kink? Something that I just discovered about myself these three past days. Reading about a man that's monumental in stature compared to you, when you're not petite at all, healed me. It cured my sinus infection... along with antibiotics of course...

And I know Toji wouldn't actually be that much taller than me, but he just gives that energy. He's still a big man and the reason I'm spiraling right now. All you cuties just depict him so well.

You all have me constantly flirting with the idea of wanting to be manhandled by a man who could so easily break me.

Which realistically isn't easy. Not only do I take a tall and curvy form, but I lift. I take pride in my strength. I work hard for it. But is it too much to ask for a man to just swoop in and crush me? To make me feel small and safe. And to lift me in the air with such ease that he can't help but flash me a smug smile for doubting his strength.

I want to rip my garments just thinking of such a scenario.

And I'm not totally adept to kinks, and I honestly have a hard time pinpointing what's what. But I also may have a strength kink too. Keep in mind, all of this coming from reading an amalgamation of Toji content !!

But just the thought being pinned under a man twice my size, taking in the weight of his body on mine. And not being able to move while he keeps me in place with such ease. Quietly begging him to use more of his strength on me...ugh and there go the butterflies again.

But let's remember...I'm Illumi's plump cherry. Not Toji's. And while Illumi is still a bit taller than me, he's not twice my size. So no one better snitch and tell him I was thinking about this...That i was conjuring up a man that would at least have to be 6'5...with the build of Toji. That man will be safe from Illumi as I keep him tucked away in my mind.

Furthermore, I implore all who come across this post to recommend any kind of content like this. Or even share if they have felt the same as me !! I will be making my own in the coming days. But I enjoy reading others' masterpieces rather than writing my own. And holy guacamole you guys are amazing.

🍒

[stormcrow513]

Jesus, some people on here are just messed up, like I'm just bored clicking around get on this one person's account bout to go back cause boring boring boring...

Like holy fucking

This was one of the most half incoherent bat shit rant I've read in a while, that left me feeling confused upset and like unfairly attacked,

Like they start off being pissy about '21 somethings who can buy weed legally'

And then jumps to us in Colorado specifically,

Which starts to piss me off right there I love my state, as much as I get wanderlust time to time and like to try living elsewhere I'm born an raised like I wanna say fifth generation? Coloradan

This is my home,

It's one thing when people make Mile 'high' jokes those are usually in good humor and I think they're funny,

But this person just going off about us in particular about how 'easy' we got it

Oh I'm sorry how easy 21 somethings got it cause apparently they don't realize us 'old' folk also buy the legal drugs,

And all our options and how people from their state are coming here and bring our 'poison' into their state,

The 'poison' they apparently are so pissed they don't have easy access to, 👀

And how their state could have make much better 'poison' 😕

And then I think it stopped with wishing we all get hit in the head with a hammer!?!?!

I mean sorry to clog up y'all's dash with this but I really gotta vent on this cause of all the fucking things to go off about,

And specifically all the things about Cannabis to go off about,

Like that there are still people in prison in legalized states for cannabis charges,

That we still haven't dropped calling it marijuana despite the racist origins of that name (mind you I still fuck up and call it that too sometimes,)

The whole bat shit 'marijuana' plot that sounds like it should be a cooky conspiracy that is 100% factual,

But instead this person is getting pissed cause it's legal in my state,

First off asshole Colorado isn't the only legalized state,

Next even if it was, guess what dickhead I can't control your state,

mine voted it into law to legalize cannabis and I'm super proud of that,

Um also just cause it's legal dose not equal easy, you have to have cash, and it's not fucking cheap,

I've been experimenting with cannabis edibles and have been finding how amazingly helpful it is for me,

I have a shit load 'wrong' with me that's undiagnosed will remain so, and even if I was diagnosed and looking into meds they likely wouldn't work for me, I have something wrong with me that taking any kind of medication more then a couple days even as prescribed down to the exact hour, fucks me up,

I get start getting really bad side effects like day three, I was on fucking aspirin for a bit while super sick a few years ago I got tendinitis so bad I wanted to die for like two days,

I've even avoided being on shit what's the anti pregnancy pill called, um fuck, I've avoided it cause im not having sex and my periods are real good, I worry what I'll do if I ever get into a romantic relationship with a dude, probably will only be able to be with someone whose clipped,

I was on sleeping pills for a bit, one of the side effects was suicidal thoughts, guess who got that and all the fucking other ones, including dry mouth so bad I thought I'd die,

For some reason cannabis doesn't fuck me up at all, it helps it really fucking helps me even if I'm on it a lot,

It's the only thing that has ever fucking made my mind a not just okay place to be, but a great one,

And money is right so I can't have like constant access to it, I may at some point be able to get it at all,

And this dickhead thinks I should get a hammer to the head!?!

I try to let internet stuff slide off me but fuck if reading that didn't just royally upset me,

Just, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you pig fucking, dildo humping, cum sucking bag of broken sticks shit on by cats with the runs, mother fucker,

hope you step on cat shit every day of your life and that your hated by corvids everywhere,

Okay I feel better and yes I did block them they had another post that seemed a bit suspect especially after reading that post and no I didn't say shit to them what's the point

Edit looked at it again, it was ceiling fan fall on your head not hammer

[philosophicalparadox]

This is why human food pellets have never really taken off even though they are immensely useful in a practical way.

We have primate biscuits - formulated specifically for chimpanzees and orangutans mostly, they are edible to humans if not totally palatable. The point of primate biscuits is that apes in captivity simply can not be fed all their wild dietary components and the biscuits are basically a multivitamin, though they can be used for total meal replacement if they need to be.

Companies have been trying to create a human version of these for decades, because elderly people, autistics, and people with OCD would theoretically benefit from having a food that never changed texture or taste very widely, but was nutritionally complete.

Unfortunately, this is REALLY hard to do, partly because of a wide range of human preferences, but also because making a single foodstuff like that taste good is very hard to do.

Now there are some companies that are making progress. There's something in the US called a "complete cookie" that you can buy at most grocery stores, which is fundamentally a human primate biscuit. It's not designed to be the only thing you ever eat, but you could reasonably live off them if you had to, and they're actually pretty nice. Unfortunately they're quite expensive, 4 dollars a cookie, but that's to be expected as a result of the fact they are certified dairy and soy free.

There are others, of course. A few health bar companies have come close to making things that are palatable to most people but nutritionally sound. But the problem is that in order to make them affordable, they have to use a lot of soy and milk products that become an allergen risk and drive away the very people who would benefit from it most (food allergens are really common in neurodivergent people and the elderly often don't digest those well)

The best meal and nutrition replacement available to humans these days is still Ensure. But even that has problems being palatable or safe, again because they use soy (Though they do use the safest form available) and milk products, and because though they try really hard to use minerals that are both bioavailable and don't taste like poison, some people still don't like the metallic and chalky taste that is an inevitable result of those minerals.

That being said, there's plenty of ways to mask it.

I don't eat too badly, but there are definitely times when I have no energy or will to eat healthy. I keep a stock of Ensure or Ensure plus on hand because I can not take conventional multivitamins and drinking at least one Ensure after three days of eating almost nothing but carbs and coffee (usually during menstrual times) makes me better able to talk myself into eating something else by taking the guilt off me.

It's also useful if Im sick. I digest Ensure pretty well and it's not actually horrible to throw up, so it's my go-to thing to sip on when I haven't had anything but saltine crackers and water for a few days. It helps get me over it faster too.

I've decided to use the term "convenience food" instead of "junk food."

I think it's more honest, and less loaded. It's all food, some of it is more appropriate when you don't have the spoons left for food prep. It takes slightly more energy to peel a banana than to open a bag of chips.

We try to save the convenience food for days when we need something easy, so eat a banana.

[valparzjournal]

Hey friends ~.~

It's been a while. Work has been busy and fucking stressful. We are prepping the kids for the upcoming state assessments. We have less than a month and we have to meet so many kids for tutoring. We need to start working on plans to attend Saturdays. It's been a thing. We are planning our glow theme week to make things really fun for the kids.

I actually had a a really normal day yesterday. I don't want to say normal but it was one of the days that I didn't worry about having a panic attack, not a lot of anxiety, not having intrusive thoughts or fears. I was present and had so much fun with my coworkers. We had a professional development day and it was good. We were productive and had a fun team building project. I needed that type of connection with them because when we get together in lunch, we just talk about work work work. Which is not our fault but it is what it is. Lunch was fun too! My coworker and I were jamming out to One Direction and omg we were having so much fun. it was just a wonderful day.

My anxiety did kick in later in the afternoon though. To be honest, despite the crazy outside of mind thoughts Im having, I know that I'm getting better. I think I have known but I had to take off the training wheels off my bike to know what I'm capable of. For example, I thought my family dog, Maxine, was helping me in some way with my mental health but she was low key stressing me out and not letting me sleep which affected my anxiety. I say family dog because she lives with my mom and I bring her in when my husband leaves for work so I don't feel so alone. She helped me get outside to take her for a walk so that did help with my lab numbers lol. But I really want to start walking by myself after work. My husband left this past Wednesday for a few days and he said not to bring back Maxine because were were planning to have his mom here for spring break but she changed her mind last minute. I was nervous about not having Maxine but I know that this is happening for a reason. I do miss her a lot though.

I'm gonna talk about three more growths and then make my lunch lol. I haven't had a session in two weeks which is fine because my therapist was sick and we had conflicting schedules. That made me nervous too but then again I've been wanting to start bi weekly sessions. I know I can text her if I need her. She is great about that. <3

In the beginning of my recovery in in September, I bought play-doh to help me with my anxiety but I was so hyper focused about smells and how i thought it will give me panic attacks, I ended up giving the play-doh to my students bc it had a smell. *face palm* but it's valid lol. So yesterday during the team building project with my coworkers, we had to build a tower with uncooked spaghetti and play-doh. I was excited. I was like "oh my god, let me smell it. *smells it with delight* It's so nostalgic." Then 20 minutes within the project, it clicked that "oh shit, i used to be scared to be near play-doh." I feel awesome about it.

My next thing is that I drove with someone in the passenger seat. For some reason, i get more anxious when I have someone one in the passenger seat. One time in October, I picked up my coworker because her car was in the shop. I said yes with confidence but I was anxious as hell. I just told her that I won't be able to talk or anything lol. Well yesterday, a colleague was looking for her truck in the parking lot (it's a long story) and she asked if I could give her a ride around the area to find it. I said yes with no problem and we drove around and then it clicked that I had someone in the passenger seat and we were having a conversation and I'm like omg I have had growth haha.

I'm proud of myself. Please keep going, it's gets better with good change. <3

[sckyie]

song: streetcar by daniel caesar

word count: 2.6k

genre + warnings: angst to fluff; reminiscing in past heartbreak, breakdowns, timeskips, swearing, someone gets slapped

pronouns used: she/her

a/n: here's part 2 to driver's license,, i hope this was okay >~< i had to include a new song to the mix (its going into the playlist) soooo enjoy :) also my ratio for angst to fluff is TERRIBLE im sorry

Ever since you had confessed your feelings to your best friend, you had became so distant from everyone. Knowing you might've ruined one of the best friendships shook you. Lately you'd been driving around past curfew just to keep your mind off him. Passing all the street lights just felt like you were driving down memories. 

That flickering light at the corner where Oikawa had helped you after crashing your bike into a pole. Or that bright cool light by the park where you, Iwa, and Oikawa first started playing volleyball. Or that one littered with stickers where you told both the boys that they better remember you when they were famous. 

Apathy overcame your entire being. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, who knew heartbreak could have this effect on a person? It was hard going to school, avoiding Oikawa in every hall, dodging Iwaizumi on your way out, and even trying to ignore Kasumi was too much. It hurt like hell but you didn't want to know what Oikawa had to say. More so, you didn't want to hear what he was going to say, you knew what he'd tell you.

Two months until graduation.

It had been a over a month since that confession. The bright girl everyone used to know dulled out. No one knew why nor how it happened. It only stung between you and the boy you knew you could never love. Oikawa and Kasumi remained together despite the lingering thought of those words you said to him. 

"I- You- Ugh! Just go away, I don't want to see you!" The crack in your voice shook those hidden feelings within you.

"Why not!" Oikawa held onto your forearm, restricting you from running away.

"Because I fucking loved you idiot!" You screamed as hot tears rolled down your cheeks. Oikawa froze at your words, unable to process them.

"You...loved me?" He asked.

"I still fucking love you! God, I hate you- I just- Let go!" You shoved him away from you. "I'm leaving. If you try to stop me, I'm never speaking to you again."

Yet, you never spoke to him regardless. The sudden break between you two effected Iwaizumi as well. Although he had no part in the situation, he was torn who's side to take. He knew your secret but he couldn't betray both his best friends. Seeing you two spilt was like watching glass break. It's sudden, scattered, irreplaceable but if you tried to fix it, you could cut yourself or ruin the glass even more.

Oikawa took your last words as your goodbye. What was worse was that, he couldn't bring himself to find the right words to say to you. How could his best friend love him and never tell him? He never did end up telling Kasumi that he loved her. He began to question his feelings about her and well, you. 

One more month until graduation.

"Hey Y/n, are you going to the third year dance?" Hanamaki taps your shoulder as you doodle on your notes. You shook your head, knowing well enough how you'd have to see Oikawa and Kasumi together. "Come on, we're all going."

"No thanks," You smiled. A sudden ache in your chest hit you as you looked back at your notes. "I don't like dances."

"Liar," Matsukawa joins into the conversation. "What happened to you?"

"Hm?" You looked up, tilting your head at him.

"Just come along, we'll drive," He suggests. "You don't need a date. Just tag along with he boys and Kasumi."

"Again no thanks," You turned him down. "I'm not on good terms with Oikawa right now. I don't want to see him."

"Well, then let's all four go together then. Me, you, Mattsun, and Iwa," Makki says. "We lowkey miss having you around."

"Yeah, come on, we don't have to go with them," Matsukawa agreed.

"Promise we won't hang around them?" You ask solemnly. They nod at you, prompting you to let out a long sigh. "Fine. I don't have a dress, do you guys want to come with to find one?" 

Two weeks until graduation.

You stood in line with the three boys to get inside the ballroom for the dance. You carefully adjusted Matsukawa's corsage that matched your dress. Kasumi and Oikawa had came later, waiting farther back in line. He rests his hand on her waist as he examined the people in line when he spots you. This was the first time in forever since he could see you clearly. He had only caught glimpses of you through the halls, never seeing your face.

Was that the reason the guys didn't want to ride with him? For you? It hit a bit knowing they chose you over him but he knew how you haven't hung out with anyone lately. Always avoiding people, never trying to talk to anyone. 

Inside the ballroom, you and the boys sat together at your assigned table. The songs seemed redundant, leaving you four to occasionally get up to dance. It wasn't until a slow song that caught your attention. You had your head leaning against Iwaizumi's shoulder when you spotted Oikawa and Kasumi walking center stage.

"I'm gonna go outside for some fresh air," You say, standing up. You adjusted your dress before walking away to the outside patio. The muffled sound of the slow song was heard as you rested your arms on the railing. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the sounds of the streets nearby. It was hard to drown out the feelings of Oikawa after seeing him with Kasumi. You feel the pain well up, trying your best to resist crying.

You open your eyes as you feel something being placed on your shoulders. "You'll get sick out here," Iwaizumi says, standing beside you. "You're thinking of him aren't you?"

"Can we not talk about him?" You breathed, tears slowly rolling down your face. "I just don't want to think about how bad I fucked up."

"Well," Iwaizumi looked down at the ground. "Will you dance with me?" You turned to see him holding out his hand for you. Taking his offer, Iwa holds you close as the music played. He let you cry in his arms, knowing well enough that you needed this. Having held all your pain behind driving, you couldn't show how much you were in pain. 

"Thank you Iwa," You sniffled into his chest. 

"I'm always here for you," He smiled. "You're like a little sister to me...It pains me to see you all dull and hurt...When Makki asked you to come out with us, I didn't expect you to agree but I'm glad you did." 

"Can I tell you something?" You panted for air through your tears.

Oikawa held Kasumi close, carefully swaying back and forth together. With her head resting on his chest, he was able to see through the patio window. He spots you and Iwaizumi dancing but for some reason it stung in his chest to see that. Why is he hurt? He's with Kasumi and he loves her, right?

Graduation day.

A group of cheers goes around the ceremony as your final day in high school is finally over. You greet your old classmates one more time, saving your close friends for last. For some reason, all the pain you previously carried had faded away. You approach the gate to meet with your friends for the last time before you go off your separate paths. Makki and Mattsun agreed to text you more to keep up with each other.

Iwaizumi had hugged you once last time, telling you to do your best. You smiled for the first time in a while. It was strange but Iwa was glad to see you starting to move on. You and him agreed to update each other on your mental healths and to hang out whenever you'd visit. Then it was the one you dreaded.

Saying goodbye to Oikawa, it'll be the last time you'll see him. You waited patiently for him as he was caught up by some fans and Kasumi. When he did manage to leave the underclassmen, he spotted you waiting. "Hey babe, can you go on ahead? I want to talk to Y/n," He says to his girlfriend. She nods happily, walking by you as she left. 

"Hey," He stops a few feet away from you, scared to step any closer.

"Hi," You said. "I have a few words for you." You let out a small chuckle, leading him to believe it was something good.

"Good or bad?" He laughed.

"Well," You started. "I just wanted to say goodbye for the last time...It was nice being your friend and I know how rough it turned out in the end...I'm sorry for not telling you before how I felt. I just thought I wasn't good enough for you and that you'd fall for someone else. Kasumi is a great girl and you two are amazing together...I really wish you guys the best...I know you'll do outstanding in volleyball like the king you are. You better not forget us when you're famous..Listen, I have to go before I'm late, so this is...it...Goodbye Tooru." You wiped a tear from your cheek, smiling at him. You quickly turned around, disappearing into the city. 

"Wait! Y/n!" He rushes after you, only to get lost in the crowd of third years saying their goodbyes. Oikawa felt tears well up in his eyes as he desperately looked around for you. "You didn't let me say..." He whispered to himself.

A week later, Oikawa and Iwaizumi join each other to lunch at your favorite restaurant. Iwa scrolls on his phone waiting for the food while Oikawa looked at the booth you two would always get. "Hey Iwa-chan?" He asks. "Do you know where Y/n decided to go after graduation?" Iwaizumi stopped scrolling to think back at the third year dance.

"Can I tell you something?" You panted for air through your tears.

"Anything," Iwa replied.

"I'm moving away from Miyagi immediately after graduation," You sniffled. "Remember when we were kids and we said we wanted to live in Tokyo or Kyoto?"

"Y-yeah," He was a little shaken up hearing that you'll be leaving so soon. 

"My uncle just moved to Kyoto and he offer me a room there...and I said yes," You started to trace circles on his back. "It's by that college I wanted to go to and they have good jobs there and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself. You'll do amazing out there," Iwa chuckled. "Just promise you'll visit sometime?" He knew how much you needed to be away from Miyagi. Although it pained him, he knew it was only for the best.

"No," Iwa lied. "I haven't seen her. She hasn't texted in a while.

Three months after graduation.

You got into a cab on your way to your new job at a café. You stared out the window, admiring the new city you live in. Learning to adjust and work around the city was tough. The feeling of calling Kyoto home was strange, knowing that it wasn't. 

Ever since you had said goodbye to Oikawa, things in his life changed. He believed losing you wasn't fair, not knowing where you'd gone always haunted him. He had broken up with Kasumi over the guilt held over his head. Always thinking about you when he was with her wasn't right. With you being gone, his only priority became volleyball. 

You however, had let go of those old feelings you held onto. That last goodbye satisfied you, letting you sleep at night and allowed you to love yourself more. You've grown so much from dull slump you were stuck in for weeks. Though living in a different environment made it feel like you weren't even there.

Oikawa roamed the streets slowly approaching different shops along the sidewalk. He had some free time before the practice match he had, so it wouldn't hurt to explore, right?

That's when it happened.

You closed the door to your cab, turning towards the café's direction. Your eyes lock onto a set of familiar pupils. Frozen in time, the two of you never exchanged a word yet, suddenly a rush of emotions filled you both.

Pain, anger, fear, regret, almost everything you felt in the past came back to you seeing him. Standing before you, the man you once loved. The man you might still love.

You snapped out of your thoughts, walking towards him, stopping a few feet away from him. "Y/n what-" You raised your hand, harshly impacting Oikawa's cheek. His hand flies up to his face, holding the spot you smacked.

"You seriously broke up with Kasumi for me?" You growled. "Y-you're an idiot y'know? She was good to you too! Also ignoring Iwa for volleyball? I told you not to-"

"You kept track of me?" He whispered, a slight smile creeping on his face.

"W-Well obviously! I ask Iwa about you from time to time," You muttered. You looked up to Oikawa and saw him grin down at you.

Before you could say anything else, Oikawa puts his two hands on the sides of your cheeks. He pulls your face close to his, crashing his lips against yours. You tense at the action, gripping his wrists. He doesn't pull away until you settle into the kiss.

Your hands melt away from his wrists and reach for his torso. Your lips moved together in sync, almost as if it were a familiar feeling. He pulls away from you, pressing his forehead against yours. "You never let me say my goodbye," Oikawa snickered. "You said goodbye to me then disappeared without a trace."

"Sorry," You blushed. His hands move to your waist, still holding you close to him.

"I wanted to tell you that..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I love you too. I'm sorry I'm so late in telling you and I'm sorry for being caught up with Kasumi. I didn't know what I was doing and I couldn't talk to you...I fucked up for not seeing how much you- well how much I loved you...I know this is all late and you probably don't want to hear any of this but-"

You tiptoed and kissed his nose, making him stop. "How'd you find out you loved me?" You looked at him curiously.

"I was driving down your street and all the old streets we'd walk through," He started. "It reminded me of you and then I saw that white streetcar. The one that is always parked by the laundromat? It made me realize how much you meant to me."

"Seriously? That old junk car?" You laughed.

"Hey, it reminded me of you okay, just seeing it whenever we hungout and passed it," Oikawa squeezed your hip, making you chuckle at him. "Will you ever forgive me?"

Your laughter ceases as you look up at him. "I had to learn how to drive on the highway on my own, jerk," You brought up.

"Is that a yes?" He smirked.

"...No...Maybe," You squinted your eyes at him. "You owe me ramen."

"Wait how'd you know how I've been these last few months?" Oikawa pulls away from your hold.

"Oh Iwa was the first to know I was moving, I asked him to check on you every now and then. I just wanted to make sure your pretty face doesn't do anything stupid. You did by the way, you did some stupid shit," You grinned. "Hey are you hungry? I can get you something from the café for free." You turned away from him, heading to your job.

"Hey you can't just insult me then leave, come here," He runs after you stopping you a few steps away from work. Oikawa plants a rough kiss on your lips before looking down at you. "The only stupid thing I did was not tell you I loved you sooner."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana @joy-laufeyson @kac-chowsballs

[lifeofbouyd]

Hospital Fight

Ever sat and laughed about shit that happened to you in the past. That's me every day; so much drama I don't even know how it got myself wrapped up in. I guess I haven't been living my life right but you can't blame me. It takes two to mingle and most the people I dated only dated me because they heard I was a hoe or because I was popular. Most these chicks already had a boyfriend or two; some even had a girlfriend. I remember dodging bottles at a party once because I was dating a lesbo and her chick found out, I've jumped fences, hid in closets and even had to leave certain locations in a hurry to save my life. If I was to tell people about my life they'd say it's a lie and to be honest; if I didn't know me I wouldn't believe it either.

I remember dengue was becoming a plague and killing a whole lot of people when I was in school. I prayed daily not to catch this sickness cause I didn't wanna die or maybe it was because I still had fresh chicks that I hadn't scored with yet; I can't really decide now that I think about it. I went to see my mom one evening and while I was there I started feeling I'll. I had every symptom for this death sickness and I sure as hell wasn't ready to go yet. If I did Y'all wouldn't even know half the things you know now; I guess everything does happen for a reason. I got admitted as soon as the doctor realized how sick i was. Word spread fast about my illness. It spread so fast that they had to be pushing visitors out the next day. Most my friends, family, current and X girlfriends showed up to support me in my time of need. As happy as I was I knew it wouldn't be long before shit started between these chicks . Being on my sick bed meant that all my girlfriends we're gonna come see me and that right there had drama written all over it. For the first day everyone got along, it seemed they were more concerned about my wellbeing. They took the liberty of introducing themselves without titles as if they all wanted to see who would say they're my girlfriend to start some shit. Every time someone else came, everyone stared at each other then stared at me. I could only imagine what they were saying; I bet he's banging her too, who’s this bitch?. The room was tense, you could feel the heat fuming from these girls. Everyone was silent while they killed each other with their eyes; they stared from head to toes and from toes to head. I was nervous as hell. Please god, don’t let them start shit.

Nurse: It's time for an injection Mr. Smith. Ladies can you move to one side so I can get to do this please? They moved slowly as if they didn't want to move. Which of these girls is your girlfriend Mr smith?

Me: 😮🤦‍♂️

Girls: 😳

Nurse: They all look nice. Which one of you is his girlfriend?

Sher: Im his girlfriend

Sammy: Excuse me. I’m his girlfriend

Janae: I guess we’re all his girlfriend

Nurse: Mr. smith that’s not very nice of you. You’re playing with these girls.

Me: Is this necessary, I just want to rest and get this sickness over with. Who’s gonna bathe me?

Girls: Mi

Nurse: 😄 is this a joke?

I laid there as these chicks argued over who’s gonna bathe me. Everyone on the ward was watching as it was days of our lives or bold and beautiful. This jumpy nurse had erupted an unwanted argument 🤦‍♂️. Why the hell did I get sick, why this nurse up in my business and why the hell do I have so many girls?. Eventually they ushered them and I had to call the helper to bathe me. She couldn’t help but laugh when she got there; she found fun in my pain and misery.

It was like this for another day or two as these girls had decided they’re not giving up. I had thought I lost them all but that just made it more intense. These girls started being friends when they realized they were all gonna be there till I got out. One day 3 girls came together and we were all having fun; talking about my dick and how I am . Lost in the conversation I didn’t realize my official girlfriend had walked in. I had mentioned her a few times to these girls but they’ve never seen her before; I guess her uniform gave her away. This girl was already 6 feet tall with the body of a grown woman; everyone went silent.

Tanya: Who are these girls?

Me: 😰 ask them 😬

Tanya: Who are you girls, I’m his girlfriend Tanya.

Chrissy: I’m Chrissy, this is Shaunagay and this is Amelia.

Tanya: what are you to Bouyd?

Surprisingly everyone said friend 😯 I guess they were threatened by her size or maybe it was respect for my relationship. I was scared as hell. She didn’t stay long as she had somewhere to be. By the time she left several other girls came calming to be my girlfriend. Even girls I didn’t know I was dating. It’s as i was having my own series of Teacher’s pet.

The jumpy nurse came to inject me as always with her million questions. It was time for me to bathe and this time they agreed on who’s gonna bathe me but they also agreed no one touches the dick 🙄. How can a guy bathe and not wash his dick, that made no sense to me but to them it was death before dishonour. They had a dick stand off, literally 😂. They took me to the bathroom and got me undressed; as sick as I was several thoughts ran through my mind at that time. I considered this a perfect orgy setting; four of my girls with me in the bathroom, who do I bang first?. I’m my mind my dick was hard as velarían steel but when I looked at it, it seemed more like a dead snake to me 😂. It was just hanging there.

Mellisa: So this is the dick we all here for?. Doesn’t seem like much to me.

Janell: Shut up and bathe him or I’ll fuck you up.

Keachia: I thought we all agreed not to mention his dick. After all I’m the only one here getting it.

Me: 🤦‍♂️

Shan: We’ve had sex once

Mellisa: So I guess I’m the only one he hasn’t fucked. She grabbed it as if she wanted to pull it from the root. Why did you fuck them and not me?

By the time I could even say a word she received a straight right across the face. Janell landed the first punch; “I told you to shut up”. Mellisa isn’t the kind of girl who backs down from no one, so I knew shit was gonna get bloody. Mellisa dived on Janell and they started wrestling; throwing punches, scratches and pulling each other’s hair. The other girls stood there watching them fight. All hell broke loose when Mellisa threw a jug of water on Janell. All three girls including me got wet. Instantly Shan joined in and attacked Mellisa, that’s when I got scared. I was leaned against the corner of the shower hardly able to walk much less in any state to part a fight. They were like lions fighting for a piece of meat. They kicked, punched, scratched and pulled each other. I had to do something. Keachia stepped out when Shan joined in. I tried parting the fight only to be pushed down. Blood started spraying all over the place. It seemed someone got stabbed.

I screamed (((nurse, nurse, nurse))) as loud as I could. They came rushing to the bathroom instantly. The security had to be called to separate them. By the time they got there blood was all over the place. we all thought it was one of the girls bleeding but on checking we realized the drip was pulled out and that’s where the blood was coming from. The security tossed them out and told them never to come back as they’ve being nothing but a disgrace to their uniform and to me the man they claim they love. They praised me, as if I was king and I was doing something good. They had no idea how terrified I was, I legit shit my pants that day watching them fight. Neither of these girls was my girlfriend nor was I their “right out man”. What if my girlfriend hears this, what if this causes us to break up, is it even worth it, do these chicks even love me or is it just the dick?. After all, I sure ain’t no Mandingo so what the hell were they fighting for. I laid on my bed looking in the ceiling thinking about what just happened; I couldn’t help but smiling to myself even though I felt bad. I didn’t even bother to mention this to my friends as this was too much drama and they were the kind of friends who would mock these girls day and night. I couldn’t mention it to my girlfriend cause she would surely break my neck 😂. I broke up with all the girls except my girlfriend once I got out tying to avoid the drama. But even so drama has followed me through out my life. I still winded up fucking Mellisa and to be honest I wish I could take it back. This chick had more bad luck than Professor Doofenshmirtz 🤦‍♂️. I met in an accident, lost my phone, got robbed and got kicked off the badminton team just because I was fucking her. Soon as we broke up shit went back to normal.

Eventually I cut them all off, but that only created room for much more drama I wasn’t even ready for. That experience had taught me a life lesson; never get admitted and if you do, only tell your girlfriend 😂. This way there won’t be a fight at your hospital bed. Through out my remaining time in high school I avoided being admitted but there was always an altercation between women. I guess Some habits die hard. But no need to worry future wife, I’m a changed man today and you’ll see that someday.