#but for real though i have such a soft spot in my heart for steph's jealous streak (and her repeated denial of it)

[skecherss]

"He knows I'm not the possessive type. I'm totally cool with him having other friends." Girl twenty issues earlier you stole your mom's scrubs to sneak into a hospital and spy on your boyfriend's female friend after he repeatedly told you they were just friends. ARE you cool with it

from Robin (1993) #101

[starlooove]

Batfam and their fave Jem characters:

Ok first Im gonna split it into the batfam and who their fave member of the holograms would be, and then I’m gonna split into fave character overall.

Alfred-Aja: OK HEAR ME OUT: I think that he’d appreciate Aja’s tough but polite thing going on. She’s never rlly the first to start a fight but she’s also not soft on others and will call bullshit out when she sees it. From what I can remember she’s a very stable presence in the group, if not the rock of it, and I think he’d like that l.

Bruce-Jem: Listen I KNOW it’s cliche but c’mon?? The double identity, the relationship issues, the dead parents; it all hits for him. And the plane episode made him break into full blown out sobs. I think his fave songs would be can’t get my love together and everybody wears a mask.

Dick-Shana: I think Shana would be Dick’s favorite because of her arc where she left the band to pursue her career. I think the fact that she WAS jealous of the new drummer but her feelings were validated and still loved her new profession and found a way to do both in a way that benefited her with the help of her friends would make him ugly cry. His fave songs would prolly be Like a Dream and I believe in Happy endings.

Jason-Roxy: The reading episode could honestly say it all, but I also think the way Roxy IS insecure in the Misfits and defends her place with the “I deserve it I’m a REAL misfit” attitude when Jetta is introduced would hit him hard. His fave songs would prolly be it takes a lot, nightmare, and congratulations.

Cass-Stormer: LISTEN LISTEN I think she’d enjoy how Stormer is kind and ultimately acts for the greater good but is still very much a misfit at heart. Even in the breaking of the bands, Stormer goes for an insult first and makes her demands to the misfits and she’s absolutely firm with it. Her leaving in the first place was out of love and respect for herself. I also think she’d like Pizzaz’s attitude lol. Her fave songs would be who is he kissing, midsommers night madness, and making mischief.

Steph-Jetta: Her parents were absolutely shitty to her and she came out strong. Whenever she was disrespected she actually swung (even physically in her debut) back 10X harder. Roxy questioned her spot on the team and Jetta was ready to defend it immediately, despite her just getting it. She was a misfit and she knew it, Fuck what anyone else says even if it’s a senior misfit. I think Steph would actually admire that attitude and she’d wish she could’ve channeled it when Bruce and Tim were being absolute assholes to her. Like even though she did talk back she still Bruce be the ultimate authority and took what tim said to heart and Jetta would never take it lying down. She hates clash bc of her desperate attitude and a small part of her mind feels like everyone thinks that’s her. She’s right (that they think that) and it’s terrible :( Her fave songs would be I am a giant, there aint nobody better, and take a hike Jack.

Tim- Pizzazz: LISTEN! I think it’s be another admiration thing. I thing he’d really fuck with her attitude and the way she’s not afraid to take what she believes is hers? Like not in an evil way or whatever but he was rolling his eyes whenever the Holograms just so happened to get offered XYZ for being in the right place at the right time. The misfits are lowk right! Sometimes you have to set things in motion for yourself and if that requires a little bit of murderous intent…so? Seriously tho I think he’d relate to her issues with her dad but I also think he wouldnt take it that seriously. Like pre Jack trying to connect with him more, I don’t think he took the absence that deep so when he sees pizzazz it’s more of “look at u doing all this and u don’t even fw horses I’d take the money tbh 🙄” the entire family is sideyeing tf outta him. His fave songs would be scandal, gimme a gimmick, and there’s a melody playing.

Duke-Raya/Jetta; NOT JUST BC THEYRE NEW I think he’d find raya’d relationship with her dad super sweet and he’d relate to how she felt being the new kid on the block. Stuff like when she first fully interacted with the misfits and didn’t really get the big history between them and the holograms, or other moments where past stories are talked about that she doesn’t fully get would prolly hit hard. I think the scene where she realized Jem was Jerrica and was terrified but also completely willing to help hide her secret immediately just screams Duke finding out about Bruce and Batman. And he thought it was funny when she ripped the flower out of Jetta’s hair. Speaking of I think his would be less of an admiration thing with Steph and more if ‘she is me’ thing. Like idk Duke being an awful flirt and getting into a fistfight is screaming equal opposite to Jetta lying about being royalty like honestly it’s less that he likes Jetta and more that he knows she’s him and he’s her and they’re eachother. fave songs would be who is he kissing, I like your style, and it could be you.

Damian-Minx: LISTEN! I think he’d relate to Pizzazz a lot but as much as I hate to say it, Pizazz’s very valid feelings about her father and his lack of relationship with her were very much played as a joke in the show and I think Damian would feel pathetic for relating to her like that. Like I think post therapy Damian would openly love pizzazz but for now? Minx. The thing with the Minx is that she TRIED the whole being nice thing and nobody believed her. They thought it was weird or fake and only started to trust her later on. But that’s not the appeal of it, the appeal is that Minx went back to being bitchy and had a real support group there. It’s not that Damian wants to be the way he was, God forbid, but the fact that she did and had people who not only accepted her but were ecstatic to have her back? The fact that they weren’t glad she ‘reverted’ because they wanted to use her for anything but because she was their friend and they knew her? He ugly cries about it to this day. His fave songs would be who is she, destiny, and get outta my way.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey steph!! This might be a specific ask but could u like recommend me some fic thats like slow burn, unresolved sexual tension, and some bottomlock. And please please please let it be long so that it hits the sweet spot of satisfying your fic needs but also not stupidly long. Also I love your blog

Hi Lovely!!

AHHHH I’m glad you enjoy!! I try my best, LOL. 

AHH I’ve SO MANY slow burn fics, it’s ridiculous, and I do have separate lists for bottomlock, so I can direct you to those.... BUT I DON’T HAVE A LIST FOR MY U.S.T. FICS YES. So can I do that??? Please??? ANY EXCUSE TO START A NEW LIST :| Hee hee. Forgive me??? 

AND as per usual, all my fics are in word-count order, so you can start at the bottom and work your way up, hee hee. CHEERS!

As usual, add your own, friends!!

First, here’s the lists you asked for:

Love Confessions / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. (Fluff Version)

Falling In Love / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. || [MOBILE POST] (April 2019)

Platonics & Domestics Pt 2 / Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 3 / Tooth-Rotting Fluff Pt. 5 / Love Confessions, Slow Burn & Dev. Rel. Pt. 2 / Established Relationship Pt. 3

Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. / Falling in Love Pt. 3 (Nov. 2019) 

Slow Burn / Dev Rel. Pt. 4 (Apr 2020)

Bottomlock (April 2019)

Bottomlock Pt 2

And now, check out my UST/URT list :)

UNRESOLVED SEXUAL / ROMANTIC TENSION

The Other Shoe by thewaitwasworthitlove - (NR, 1,053 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Angst, URT, Post-TSo3) - Sherlock realizes how deep in love he has fallen for John. Only Sherlock Holmes would manage to be more shattered than crystal dropped on concrete.

Clarity by socomessnow (thoughtfulwishing) (NR, 1,283 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Tarmac Scene, Stream of Consciousness, URT, First Person Present Tense, Implied/Referenced Drug Use) - During-and-post-HLV piece tracking Sherlock’s thought process from his phone call with Mycroft to his return to the airfield. Part 1 of Rifts

Untouchable by greengrapegaze (T, 1,368 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-S3, UST/URT, Oblivious John, Lonely Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Emotional Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – “He never would. Petty, childish, immature-bitter. Jealous. She had all that he wanted. All he could never have.” Part 1 of Steps to a Bittersweet Symphony

Love Hurts by Grac3 (T, 2,215 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock, One-Sided Pining / URT, Sherlock / John Whump, Angst, Ambiguous Ending) – In a world where someone's physical injuries manifest themselves on the person who is in love with them, John didn't think that there would ever be anyone who was willing to risk falling in love with him - until he got shot on a case, and it didn't hurt. Unrequited Johnlock.

The Dance Lesson by bittergreens (G, 4,596 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Missing Scene, Dancing, Pining Sherlock, URT/UST, Romance, Angst, POV John) – Sherlock teaches John to dip. Part 1 of Goodnight, Vienna

There's Something Living in These Lines by teahigh (orphan_account) (M, 4,676 w., 1 Ch. || Mutual Pining, Love Letters, Angst, Mutual Pining, UST / URT, Dirty Talk) – Two men, complete opposites in almost every way, who speak only in letters and pages torn from books.

You Can't Always Get What You Want by hubblegleeflower (E, 4,804 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Sexual Tension, UST / RST, First Time) – John wants. He always has, but now that he's living with Sherlock again, it's all he can do to hold it back. And Sherlock isn't helping...

Wasted Hours by songlin (E, 4,973 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || O!John/A!Sherlock, Pining, UST, Angst & Porn) – John is respectful. John keeps his distance. He doesn’t look at Sherlock when Sherlock decides trousers are for dull people. He doesn’t breathe in and savor it when Sherlock flings himself onto the couch first thing in the morning, wafting alpha scent, dressing gown settling around him in a cloud of blue silk. He doesn’t linger when he’s piecing Sherlock back together after a fight, even though he’s half-dressed and beautiful and right there. He can ignore it. He can control it.

Captain John Watson, Genetics, and Other Crazy Things by cyerus (M, 5,581 w., 1 Ch. || Torchwood Crossover ||  Humour / Crack, Jealous Sherlock, Sexual Magnet John, Captain John, UST / RST, Three Continents Watson) – The explanation for John "Three Continents" Watson? Jack Harkness is his father. Sherlock doesn't know whether he's going to die from jealousy or sexual frustration first.

No Light, No Light (in your bright blue eyes) by orphan_account (G, 5,915 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Pining, Songfic, Mutual Unrequited Love, Unresolved Tension, UST/URT) – Relates to both Sherlock's and John's feelings for each other and highlights select moments of hurt and inner turmoil starting from right before the fall all the way to HLV.

Drawstring by May_Shepard (E, 7,412 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3/TAB, Friends to Lovers, UST/RST, Fluff and Smut, Post-TAB, John POV, Sherlock’s Pyjamas, Rimming, Wanking) – John is bothered by Sherlock’s slowly-falling jim-jams… as in hot and bothered and he is trying to deal with a sexy dishevelled Sherlock while also keeping his pining in check.

High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, 7,429 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, Miscommunications / Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time, BAMF John, Insecure Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock, POV John, Embarrassed John, Adorable Sherlock, Junk Size, UST / RST) – John pressed the knuckle of his index finger against his mouth and sighed. “So, you're coiled like a spring and ready to be ... sprung?” “If you want to be pedestrian about it, yes.” “Like I said, you should do something about that.” “And like I said, pedestrian. What would you have me do? Take up jogging? Yoga? Oh! Unless you mean –” “I don't mean anything. Let’s drop it.”

Alone On the Water by Mad_Lori (G, 7,725 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, UST/URT, Angst, Euthanasia, Love Confessions) – Sherlock Holmes never expected to live a long life, but he never imagined that it would end like this.

All the Times Something ALMOST Happened by allonsys_girl (T, 9,049 w., 6 Ch. || POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Angst, Friendship/Love, UST) – John and Sherlock dancing around what they dance around in canon.

Someone I Love by hudders-and-hiddles (M, 10,002 w., 2 Ch. || Canon Compliant, HLV-Filler Fic, Pre-Slash, Jealous John, PIning Sherlock, Angst & Fluff, UST/URT, Dog Tags) – John gets married and Sherlock finds comfort in wearing John's identity tags around his wrist.

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

Their Great Reward by BeautifulFiction (T, 10,095 w., 1 Ch. || UST, First Kiss, Fluff) – Boxing day, in John's opinions, is the worst day of the year. Christmas is over, the tree is wilting and stripped of gifts, and there's a week of dead-time until the clean slate of the new year. However the combination of a blizzard, a power-cut and Sherlock might just make it a day to remember.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim's hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by cypress_tree (E, 10,669 w., 1 Ch. || UST/RST, For an Experiment) – John helps Sherlock with an experiment: for an entire month, they are not allowed to touch each other and must remain at least one metre apart at all times.

I'm content as we are (but) by inqui (The_Circus) (E, 13,086 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, UST/RST, Pining, Victor Trevor, Minor Whump, First Kiss / Time, Misunderstandings) – In which John Watson sees something unusual, becomes jealous, and makes too much of a small thing as an old friend of Sherlock's shows up in the middle of a case.

Say For Me, Love by MirabileLectu (T, 13,147 w., 1 Ch. || UST, First Kiss, Drama, Pining John, Victor Trevor) – If you had asked John this morning what the result of his quiet afternoon at home would be, discovering a truth about Sherlock's past startling enough to shift the foundations of their friendship would not have been his first guess. So naturally, that was what was bound to happen.

Barricade by stitchy (M, 14,127 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fix It, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending, UST, Mary’s Not Nice, First Time, Pining Sherlock, Time Skip Filler, Drunkenness) – Sherlock has been struggling to keep his feelings at bay for everyone's sake. Part 1 of Barricade

Second Chance by SilentAuror (E, 15,816 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Post-Divorce, Friends to Lovers, UST, Romance) – Now that John's divorce has gone through and the dust is settling, Sherlock thinks that he would very much like to see if there is any possibility of moving their friendship in another direction. The only thing is, he has no idea how to go about doing that...

Anytime by SilentAuror (E, 17,995 w., 1 Ch. || UST, Porn With Feels, POV Sherlock, Romance, UST/URT, Happy Ending, Drunken Endeavours) – Sherlock blinks and attempts to focus. There is a little too much vodka in his veins at the moment and it’s having an unfortunate effect on his brain and retinas both. There are two Johns sitting across from him, and both of them are frowning at him. “You’re drunk,” the Johns tell him. Sherlock blinks some more. “Says the man with Mrs Hudson’s doily on his head.”

John Watson doesn't have a Boyfriend by naughtyspirit (E, 18,932 w., 7 Ch. || UST / URT, Fluff & Smut, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – John's date has gone very well. Sherlock requires tea. John wishes he hadn't resolved that their relationship was strictly hands off and isn't about to address it. Unless he has to. Smut, fluff and shower time for a naked John Watson.

For you, there's only me by shock_blanket (E, 19,557 w., 7 Ch. || Jealous Idiots, Virgin Sherlock, UST/RST, Pining, Miscommunication, First Kiss / Time, Insecure Sherlock, Masturbation) – Sherlock realizes he has fallen in love with John, but believes he is unlovable. Cue lots of pining and jealousy on Sherlock's part, followed by our favorite cuddly marksman making it all better. Because for Sherlock, there's only John.

Love Is by SilentAuror (E, 21,508 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, UST / URT, Post HLV, Romance) – At Mrs Hudson’s urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him. Part 1 of Love Is

Brief Conversations with the Woman by May_Shepard (E, 21,906 w., 20 Ch. || Pining, Love Fairy Irene, Filler Fic, UST/URT, Drug Use, Clueless Sherlock, Relationship Advice, Angst w/ Happy Ending) – Sherlock has a puzzle to solve, and his name is John Watson.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w., 4 Ch. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Masturbation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock's case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he's pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (E, 35,353 w., 7 Ch. || Humour and Angst, Post-TRF, Fake Relationship, UST / RST, Friends to Lovers, Jealous John) – Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody's happy.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) –  Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E, 151,907 w., 19 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar / For a Case, Drugs, Pining, Case Fic, UST) – When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate's charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim?

[thattimdrakeguy]

I liked Alan Grant’s work with Tim (specifically Batman 457, it’s still one of my favourite Tim stories) but yeah Dixon’s early stories (especially his 1st miniseries) were some of the best Tim writing. Lewis had a few good Tim moments, mostly with his relationships with Dana and Steph, but I felt like Lewis preferred Steph’s character over his, since she had a lot of focus in his run. I can’t remember much of Willingham’s run (also according to him, Tim kept journals of his time as Robin? 1/2

I can’t remember the journals appearing beforehand) I felt like Beechon made Tim more angry than he’d normally be, but he was a relief after the last 2 writers. His stories (evil Cass who?) were decent. Brandon Thomas wrote one issue (167) and it was a bit angsty, but not too overbearing and it had a hopeful ending (Jack wasn’t a good dad tho). Dixon’s second run was disappointing (I think he called Ives Martin?). Fab Nic’s was a mess. Yost was not bad, but his Tim could be OOC at times 2/2+

+ I wish Yost stayed on as Red Robin’s main writer tho. Bringing back Cass, RR 16 (I think(?) where Anarky tries to find out RR’s ID) and the Teen Titans crossover were the only positive things about Nic’s run. Funny how TT!Tim was more broody than solo!Tim and RR!RR is more broody than TT!RR. I knew Tim as RR first, so reading backwards, his earlier stuff were definitely more well written. It’s why I love your blog, since early Tim is the best Tim and your analysis is spot on +

I think Alan Grant’s work is very undervalued, because alongside Marv Wolfman and Chuck Dixon, he’s another writer that brought us a fully fleshed out Tim Drake during his first year of existence. He helped bring us a lot of good Tim moments too, and honestly some of his better ones from his pre-Robin days as well, and after he was Robin too of course.

Dixon in his early work did amazing work and taking all that we learned about Tim and putting his character to the test in so many fun and interesting stories. At least until his decline where he comes off as too self-obsessed and became known as the jerkface we think of today, cause with the internet coming in--he's more bigoted views came out. And makes some hindsight stuff even more obvious.

John Lewis though I don’t honestly like. The most I can say for him is that he had good Tim moments where he understood Tim’s dorky nature, but overall he wrote him to be a pretentious, judgmental, boy genius, that just seemed so off the mark for the meek-ish, insecure, but super clever, and slowly forming confidence Tim that we saw just before. He made Tim kind of a jerk, like all of Tim’s worst moments, but except if Tim was always like that and not just in the moment when he’s having a difficult time or put on the spot. So I really can’t like his run because of that. His stuff with Steph too, was just really forced, and simply continued all the forced stuff Dixon did with her. Lewis besides some good moments has a lot of the worst stuff Dixon did with the romances, plus his own weirdness and lack of understanding.

Late Lewis and Willingham though, is were you really get the sense that editorial (namely Didio as this was when he gained more power in the company. And the storyline where Batman put Tim through a test that gave him paranoia came from) wanted to make Tim tougher, and edgier, because he was too soft before. He had “war journals” even though I don’t believe Tim ever spoke about having any, nor thought in a way that would have him calling them “war journals” suit him. They made him more conventionally cool, and rebellious (this was also happening in Teen Titans at the time). He had a motorcycle over a mildly dorky, tiny sized car (like pretty much only Tim can fit in the Redbird comfortably). He was becoming more Batman-esque, and there was angst about how that was happening. It was just all about changing Tim into something he’s not simply because people with power didn’t like him as he was.

Beechon I think did really good though with Tim, because he wrote Tim after Tim’s months of having people he loved die. So I think being angrier made sense. Although I remember it being more frustration and desperation. But he also wrote him in a way that showed an idealistic spirit in him, and a heart that pushed on that kept it feeling like Tim. It felt like Tim dealing with his loses, much more than Geoff Johns’s over the top melodrama. Evil Cass though--can’t deny that’s Beechon, ain’t gonna, but at least he attempted to make it up by writing a Batgirl mini too mixed reception.

Dixon’s second run really showed just how bad Dixon got. Like you’d think a break might have him get his head back into it. But it was all just about bringing Steph back and shoving her in, because he became borderline obsessed with his OC like that. He just wrote things with no regard to how other things were. Wrote Zoe, who was a very sweet, but awkward, understanding, independent, and unsure kind of girl, exactly how he wrote Ariana, just a romantic plot device to be frustrated at Tim to give Tim boy-angst, instead of like she’s a real person with her own issues like how Zoe actually was. COULDN’T EVEN REMEMBER SEBASTIAN IVE’S NAME. And sometimes wrote Tim more like he was in the mind zone of writing Dick versus actual Tim. It was a trainwreck that at one point I loved cause of rose tinted glasses, but now, it’s entirely obvious how far he had fallen. Everything going sour towards the end of his original run times 10. Awful stuff.

FabNic though. I just really don’t like FabNic’s run. He made Tim a cold, caluclating, somewhat apathetic-ish (not fully, but in ways), angsty, edge lord. He didn’t resemble Tim to me. But sort of represented the final position of Johns’s and Didio’s, and others transformation of Tim into something not recongnizable through contrived deaths and situations, that wouldn’t have happened under writers who could write a competent story.

Yost was okay though, but still pretty mixed for me. I recognized Tim more in him, but there’s still a lot of moments where it just didn’t feel like Tim at all. Like I can’t picture Tim punching Damian in the face, I can’t picture Dick just giving away Robin when he knows more about Tim than anyone, and I can’t picture Damian just acting like a stereotypical bratty kid, he’s a total jerk, but not how he wrote it, he just wrote a random kid, not Damian. But there’s more moments of genuine Tim-ness then there was with FabNic. I’m not an honest fan of Yost’s run, but comparatively, it was superior. And while a lot of his writing for it was awful in spots, his story was at least one that was interesting and worth reading just for premise, but shouldn’t be held highly on characterization.

That’s my feelings on it anyways. I’m really glad to hear you enjoy my blog, and I appreciate your compassion about it too. I needed another smile today. it genuinely means a ton to me.

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Catching Feelings 9/10 (Keanu x OFC)

Summary: AU in which Keanu is down on his luck after he comes to Hollywood trying to be an actor. To earn some money, he joins this app for escorts and meets Steph, a rising star who hires him to try to forget her ex. Neither of them is expecting to fall in love and all the problems it brings. Previous chapters:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Author’s Notes: This might be my favorite chapter so far. I’m very proud of how it turned out. Just to be safe, keep your tissues close.

Wordcount: 3377

Warnings: angst and mentions of alcohol 

“So, I heard back from the producers,” Jean started tone just a little hesitant and Steph got up from her seat, rolling her eyes.

She already knew what the next words would be. He had been her agent and publicist for a few months and she learned to recognize when he was about to break the news of another no.

“They said you great but…”

“Not what they’re looking for?” she completed with a bitter snort and Jean nodded, grimacing. “In other words, you’re radioactive and we want nothing to do with you. I don’t know why I even bother anymore.”

“Steph…” he started with that unsufferable sympathetic tone and she could feel his gaze on her as she paced in his office. “We gonna get through this. You just need…”

“To be patient and persevere,” she cut him off, repeating the words she had been hearing for the past six months. Even since her career imploded with the whole Keanu fiasco.

For weeks her face had been plastered in every trashy magazine that existed, her name associated with a sex scandal. Because she dared to fall in love with a man that happened to be an escort.

The first blow she suffered was the call from Judy, the woman had been with Steph since the beginning of her career. She ranted at Steph for being stupid enough to put herself in that position and offered a solution that was basically throwing Keanu under the bus. Tell the press that she had no idea he was an escort. Steph wouldn’t do it. This was her mess, not his.

Judy quitted after that, leaving Steph without an agent or publicist to help her navigate through this mess. Fortunately, Jean had been a lifesaver and took Steph under his wing, working out all the necessary statements and helping her dodge most of the press.

The second blow came on Monday when Fincher was waiting for Steph at the set with an added scene on his script. They were killing off her character. To keep the integrity of the work, he said. It made more sense…

Even he didn’t believe his own words and Steph just wanted to scream and hit someone. This had been a dream project for her, and they were casting her aside like she was nothing. And even though it cost her a hefty penalty for contract breach, Steph never regretted walking out of the set and refusing to shoot the metaphorical death of her career.

Instead, she flew back home and discovered it was true what they said: you only knew your real friends when shit hit the fan. Ad companies ended contracts with her; production companies that had offered her parts in upcoming movies pulled back their offers; people she had worked before, that knew her, and that Steph always considered close friends, and cut off communication with her. Only a handful remained in the end, among them Vincent, Jean, and Gwen. Everyone else bailed and Steph couldn’t believe how naïve she was to believe that they were her friends.

“Maybe it’s time I face the truth, Jean,” she sighed, looking out the window in his office. In the distance, she could see the Hollywood sign in the Hills she called home. “If I can’t even get a secondary character in a cheesy rom-com, my career is over.”

“No!” he protested, getting up to stand beside her. “You made only one mistake in this whole thing,” Jean said, laying his hands on her arms, making Steph look at him. “You pushed away the man you love. Everything else? That’s judgmental bullshit from a hypocritical business and I’m not gonna let them punish you for falling in love.”

There was determination in his handsome face. His eyes shone with it as he let go of Steph and moved back to his desk, shifting things around until he came up with a stack of papers and handed it Steph. It was a script and she recognized the writer and director’s name: Katheryn Gerwig.

“They sent it in for another actress I’m representing,” he explained. “It’s an independent movie, very low budget, unlike anything you’ve ever done, but it is the main character and Gerwig is a genius.”

“What about your other client?” Steph asked, looking back to Jean.

“I’ll just make sure she had a schedule conflict,” he assured with a wink, making Steph smile thankfully, before pulling him into a hug. “You might want to give up on yourself, darling, but I’m not there yet. So, read it and if you like it, I’ll set up a meeting with Gerwig.”

---

Steph changed positions on her chair for the sixth time in the last five minutes, her fingers restlessly rearranging every single item there was in the table, trying to work out the energy thrumming through her.

She hadn’t felt this nervous since her first audition ten years ago, coming back to acting after dropping out at age 13. At least back then the only reputation she had was of child starlet that gave up the spotlight for a normal teenager life. Now, even months later, she knew they still referred to her as the former raising star that had to pay for love.

Steph was tired of it; the whispers and snide comments, but she was determinate to keep her head high. That was why this meeting was so important. If this didn’t work, if Gerwig wouldn’t take her, she would be done. Steph would rather get out in her own terms than everyone else’s.

Checking the time again, Steph considered asking the waiter for something stronger than orange juice. Even if it was 10 in the morning. Maybe decided against it. Her worst decisions had been made thanks to alcohol. Instead, she looked out at the view, trying to see it the rhythmic movements of the waves would soothe her racing heart.

Gerwig had scheduled this meeting at a seaside restaurant Steph had never heard of before. It was small and intimate and more importantly, out of the way enough that most people around had better things to do than worry about potential celebrities hanging around. Aside from that, the view was fantastic and if the smell waffling from the kitchen was any indication, the food was too. This could easily become Steph’s new favorite spot. If this meeting went well.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, dear,” Gerwig spoke, startling Steph. “No need to get up,” she said before dropping on the chair in front of her, taking off her hat.

The woman that sat before Steph was impressive. Not only because she was stunning; Her sand blonde hair waving in the soft breeze, a few grey strands shining against the sun. Her blue eyes were startling bright and showed a sort of keen intelligence that seemed to pierce through her. The wrinkles around her eyes and mouth spoke of a life well-lived, full of laughter and challenges.

Steph didn’t know why, but she immediately liked Gerwig. It was almost as if she had found a kindred spirit and something inside her connected at a deeper level with the older woman before her.

“It’s an honor to meet you,” Steph said, suddenly feeling like a beginner meeting their idol. “Thank you so much for meeting me, Mrs. Gerwig.”

“Of course,” she replied with a kind smile. “Call me Katheryn. I’ve always hated Gerwig. It’s my ex-husband's name.”

“Sure.” Steph nodded quickly, her own smile nervous and hesitant as Katheryn asked for a mimosa. Apparently, unlike Steph, the older woman had no qualms on drinking before noon.

“I have to say, dear, a lot of people advised me against taking this meeting,” Katheryn declared, sipping her drink. “So, before we talk about my movie, I want to understand why.” She set her glass aside, entwining her fingers together and resting her chin on top of them, watching Steph with her full attention. “Tell me everything.”

And Steph did. Much like she had done to Vincent, she shared every detail of what happened between her and Keanu and the aftermath of it until they reached that particular moment of her life, struggling to get a role in anything worth wanting to be part of.

“That’s it?” Katheryn asked once Steph fell silent, and the young actress nodded. “For fuck sake! The way my producer was speaking, I thought you murdered someone or something. Definitely something more serious than falling in love with a hooker.”

She clicked her tongue in something like disappointment. If with the fact that Steph’s story wasn’t as juicy as she expected or that her producer made a bigger deal of it than necessary, Steph couldn’t tell.

“Honestly, if the roles were reversed, it would be a fairytale. He would be Richard Gere and you Julia Roberts,” Katheryn continued with an eye-roll. “This is why I hate Hollywood.”

“You don’t care, then?” Steph asked hopefully and Katheryn shook her head, gesturing to for the waiter to bring her another mimosa. “So, you let me audition for the role of Sarah?”

“That’s another matter entirely, dear,” Katheryn replied, looking back at Steph. “I took a look at your work and you weren’t exactly what I was envisioning for the role. Don’t get me wrong, you’re great, but I was thinking of something more subtle.”

“Oh.” It was all Steph could say. She really didn’t expect that it would be her career itself that would take this role from her and not what happened.

“I hope you understand,” Katheryn said with a sympathetic smile. “I need raw emotion, but not something too overt or explicit. I need…” she paused, deep I thought. “You know what the title of my movie means?” She asked and Steph shook her head. “That word, Saudade, it’s Portuguese. There’s no translation to English, but it conveys a sort of nostalgic longing for a place, a memory, a person. Like…”

“Like it’s a part of you that you’re missing?” Steph said, her gaze looking away from the woman in front of her.

To an onlooker, it would seem like she was just admiring the ocean extending in front of her. The blue waters that seemed to mix with the bright skies. The fluffy white bubbles whenever the waves crashed on the shore. The boats in the distance and the couples walking hand in hands through the wet sand… It made the scene look like a painting.  However, Steph’s gaze was actually lost, unseeing as she searched for the words to describe the feeling Katheryn was talking about.

“It feels almost as if they left a hole in your soul, shaped like them and that never full heals,” she sighed, feeling the tears brimming in her eyes. “Most days, it just a dull ache and you can actually trick yourself into forgetting and not noticing. If you’re busy enough if you work hard enough, it makes you believe that maybe… maybe one day… you’ll be fine and it will be over. But then…” her voice broke as the lump in her throat grew, making it harder for Steph to bring the words forth, but she had to do this. Digging her fingers on her knees under the table, she wetted her lips and continued.

“Then you see something that belonged to them or heard their name or smell their scent and… Sometimes I believe that’s what time travel must be like because you’re there. Back at that place with them and it’s so sweet because you can feel how happy you used to be, but at the same time, God! It hurts. That kind of throbbing, pulsing pain. All compassing and consuming. Suddenly, it’s all you know again, and you can’t believe how you thought, even for a second, that it wouldn’t hurt anymore. Because it’s a piece of you that’s missing and it’s the most human thing to want to feel complete, but you can’t. Not anymore. Not without him.”

Steph let out a shuddering exhale, ducking her head to wipe away the tears that managed to escape while she swallowed around the knot on her throat before she turned to look at Katheryn and the other woman had tear tracks marking her cheeks as she watched Steph.

“Is that what you mean?”

“Yes,” Katheryn nodded, a smile gracing her lips as she reached across the table, catching Steph’s hand and squeezing lightly. “You understand. I think you understand Sarah better than I could ever hope to write her. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you’re exactly what I need.”

“Thank you.” Steph’s lips tilted into a smile too. Katheryn had a point. She never felt this connected to a character before.

“We’ll start shooting in Toronto in two weeks. Think you can be ready by then?”

“Yes.” Steph nodded, satisfaction and happiness filling her heart. “I’ll be there.”

----

Steph never had an experience quite like this shooting a movie, but she loved it. Jean wasn’t kidding when he said it was a low budget independent movie. Katheryn crew was tiny and the entire thing was shot in a single location, this two-store house in Toronto, using one single camera.

All of it meant long hours of shooting, especially since Katheryn liked wide angles and long takes so Steph felt this incredible pressure not to screw up. She was the protagonist. The entire concept of the movie depended on her doing her job right.

In the end, it was an incredible thing. After a month of working intensely and living in close quarters with the rest of the cast and crew, Steph grew close with all of them. She knew the names and birthdays of the DP’s children and all the cameraman allergies… They had become a second family to her and when they finally wrapped up filming, even though Steph was exhausted and in desperate need for long hours of sleep, she accompanied them to this local club so they could celebrate.

It wasn’t an official wrap party, then didn’t have the funds for that. Just a bunch of friends trying to find a way to fit at a too-small table in an overcrowded club with overpriced beer and some nice rock tunes.

Basically, it was all Steph needed after the dreadful year she was having. No one could blame her for letting lose, drinking a tiny bit too much – not quite like the night with Jean, Vincent, and Keanu – but just enough to make her tipsy and overfriendly, hugging people left and right, much to Katheryn’s amusement.  

She danced to the music played by the band on the stage and even agreed to a couple of selfies from one or two people that recognized her, before retreating to the table, tired, sweaty and dizzy, but very happy.

“When we back to LA, we need to do this in a proper bar,” she commented to Katheryn, who had kept up with her the entire night and the older woman laughed and nodded, clinking her beer bottle against Steph’s.

She drained her beer, before getting to her feet again and stumbling towards the restroom, getting stuck in line for ten minutes, until she could finally step out of the warm, smoky bar, into the slightly cooler air of the restroom, which was a reprieve despite the faint smell of urine and disinfectant.

Steph took her time relieving herself, washing her hands and retouching her makeup, faintly hearing the muffled sounds of the new band presenting themselves before they started to play. She bobbed her head a bit at the very little she could hear while she applied another layer of lipstick and stepped out just as they finished the first song.

She didn’t know why she didn’t glance at the stage on her way to the bar to pick up a new beer, even if the first accords of the new song was so pleasing. She was happy she didn’t because when a familiar voice reached her ears, one that Steph never thought she would hear in a million years, she froze, beer bottle halfway to her lips, eyes wide, staring at nothing.

She didn’t know the song itself, but she had heard enough Dogstar before the entire mess with Keanu that Steph could recognize Brett’s voice. Shaking, she turned around to face the stage, her gaze instinctively finding Keanu and her breath caught in her throat as she watched him.

His hair was longer again, curling by his nape, sticking to his sweaty forehead. His jaw was covered with a spotty beard that shouldn’t look that charming. His broad shoulders ripped and moved as he played, making the black t-shirt he was wearing stretch over his strong chest and biceps. His jeans, as usual, were tighter than needed, displaying muscular legs and, if his red bass wasn’t positioned right in front of his crotch, Steph knew she would be able to see the generous volume of his cock too.

Somehow she much had forgotten how gorgeous he was because Steph couldn’t bear to look away from him as her heart rabbited in her chest as if trying to burst from her ribcage and butterflies fluttered in her stomach, especially when he joined on the back vocal, his voice barely audible, but enough to make her knees weak.

She leaned against the bar, gaze fixed on the band in front of her, completely oblivious to Katheryn approaching her, calling her name. Not until the woman shook her shoulder and Steph finally tore her eyes away, blinking away the wetness in them. Katheryn looked confused for a moment before realization dawned on her and she glanced back at the stage.

“It’s him?” she asked, and Steph nodded, holding her bottom lip between her teeth to keep it from quivering. “Which one?”

“The bassist,” she whispered, eyes returning to him, watching the wide smile in his face, the one she had only seen when he was on his bike or with her.

“Do you want to leave?”

“No,” Steph gasped, once again unable to take her eyes away from him. “I’ve always wanted to watch him play.”

Katheryn nodded, squeezing her arm gently before retreating to the table, leaving Steph alone to watch the band, but mostly Keanu. The way he bounced over the stage, grinning like a manic, playing around with his mates and some of the audience. He was a natural, completely in his element, like he was born to be there and Steph was so happy he had found a way to make this work.

At the end of their set, Dogstar thanked everyone and announced that they had CDs for sale in the back before disappearing into the bowels of the club. Part of Steph was sad that it was over. She could spend the entire day listening to them, so she located the table with the merchandising, grabbing a CD and a t-shirt, before stepping outside for some fresh air and to recompose herself.

It was one thing Katheryn to see her like this, shaking and troubled. She knew the entire story, but the rest of the cast and crew only knew bits and pieces. Not because she was ashamed, but because it was still too hard to talk about it.

Steph exhaled slowly, the cold air grounding her to the present, keeping her from getting lost into memories of Keanu. And as long as she was grounded and kept a level head, she could stop herself from seeking him out. He didn’t want to see her. He made that very clear in that hotel in Paris.

“Steph?” She shivered at the sound of his voice saying her name. She missed that. She missed him. So, so much.

Slowly, Steph turned to look at him, her hands shaking so much the plastic case of the CD rattled a little. There he was, tall and strong and perfect and she couldn’t help but think about the title of the movie she just finished shoot: Saudade. That was what she felt, her insides yearning for that lost piece of her and she wished there was a way to tell him.

“Hi Keanu,” she said instead. What else could she say when there were so much, but not enough words?

xxx (tbc) xxx

Go to chapter 10

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[completelypeccable]

Two for One Deal

Part 3

/Fear toxin and home

/Barbara knew she loved Dick Grayson, it was a fact of life. But suddenly it wasn’t just him, and that was better than expected./

...

Poison Ivy was just as annoying as the rash. She had grown unnoticed for over a week before the bats discovered her newest plant project, and intervened with all their usual luck. Which is to say, it was the same night that Scarecrow decided to blow his way out of Arkham.

All in all, the night wasn’t as much of a disaster as it could have been. Dick had minor stitches, Jason caused major stitches, and Tim had gotten out of bed for the fifth day in a row. Ivy and Scarecrow were secured and neither had managed to cause much damage, either in terms of structure or a body count.

Cass strong armed Dick out of the cave as soon as she patched him up, the rest following sooner rather than later.

She met Tim for an ambiguous night-morning cuppa, swapping information and enjoying each other’s presence. Barbara had a soft spot for the kid and was glad to see he was on his way to being okay.

“You should have been there,” he smiled. “Ivy was so annoyed to see us there, especially Damian.” He raised his pitch but still growled, in a poor approximation of the subject at hand. “I am an elite assassin and I will not hesitate to bite your ankles!”

Babs laughed and Tim smiled into his cup. “You know, I haven’t figured it out yet, what was Ivy even after?”

“Get this, she made some sort of plant that belched this absolutely nasty gas.”

“What?”

“I mean, Damian was the only one who was hit by it, but he said-“

“Wait, you’re telling me Damian got gassed by a fart flower?”

“Pretty much?”

“Was he okay, is he okay? I don’t think I’ve seen him since patrol.”

“I mean, when it happened we were a bit nervous, but Damian barely reacted at all. He looked more offended than anything. When we got Ivy down, she admitted that she was developing a fear toxin to get back at Scarecrow- which, honestly, fair- but that it was in its very early stages.”

Barbara set down her empty cup. She would make sure to check on the kid before bed, just in case. Tim seemed unconcerned, though, and he’s was there when it happened.

...

Damian had disappeared shortly after patrol, so Barbara assumed he went to sleep, or at least to his room. He wasn’t there when she checked, though. The kitchen was empty, as was the living room, the bathrooms, the other side of Dick’s bed, and every other location she could think to check.

Barbara was wheeling into the Batcave when she noticed the training simulator.

There he was, sweat flinging off his fingers as he fought simulation after simulation with robotic precision. He panted, face red and eyes unfocused. One figure knocked aside his arm and he took several blows to the sternum before delivering a sharp kick to the jaw, pivoting to block the next blow to the ribs. Nonstop movement, beautiful and brutal. The ratio was an absurd 15:1; the machine automatically made the odds unfair, then slowly increased the level of difficulty.

Barbara worked her way to the touch pad outside the simulator door, reviewing his current status and history. She swore silently and grabbed her comm.

She realized belatedly that while she had kept an eye on most family members for the past week or so, this name rarely made the priority list. He hadn’t seemed to care so much, being with them only a short while before the incident. With recent events considered, she wondered if maybe she had underestimated him.

Barbara worked her way to the touch pad outside the simulator door, reviewing his current status and history. She swore silently and grabbed her comm.

“Hey, Babs. Little early to be calling a nighttime vigilante.”

“Sorry Dick. I’m in the cave. It’s, well, it’s Damian.”

“What happened?” She could tell he was up and moving already. He was probably running his hand through his hair, frown crinkled at the corners.

The guilt gnawed slightly at her stomach.

“Tim said he got hit with some experimental gas Ivy was developing.”

“Yeah, the report stated it had no effect. Steph said pretty much the same.” A thunk, Dick leapt off the railing. Barbara pinched her nose and looked at the stats.

“I heard that too, but I think we missed something. He’s in the simulator, been here for a little over four hours. No sign of stopping anytime soon, either.”

“Did he even take a break after patrol?”

Babara shrugged, knowing Dick would just know despite not seeing it. Just like she knew how much he was beating himself up for heading straight to bed after the stitches. She hated to fuel the fire, but he would want to know.

“Looks like he was here for the past few nights, too.”

“Why the-“

“Today and most of the week, he started with an elevated heart rate and irregular breathing. Now it’s back to the same, but he’s probably well past exhausted at this point.”

Dick swore quietly, and she echoed the sentiment.

While they didn’t know exactly what was rubbing through his head, Barbara knew the kid likely wasn’t thinking rationally. He was new to it all, too, not knowing that this odd family understood and took care of each other. Neither nightmares nor panic attacks were a personal problem her and they could be self destructive when treated like they were.

And unreported fear toxin? That was no joke.

“Thanks for calling.”

“Anytime.”

Barbara went to the Batcomputer, already pulling up multiple files on gang activity from the past week. No one had gone out as Batman yet, and some criminals were starting to take notice. However, they always act a little less cocky when Red Hood or Black Bat shows up to the operation ready to beat their faces in.

And from here she could see the rest of the Batcave without being too in the way.

It took less than a minute for Dick to be stepping out of the elevator, slightly frazzled and bed-headed, still dressed only in flannel pajama pants. He sent a slight wave to Barbara. What a pretty goof. He was going to be cold down here.

She heard him shuffle toward the simulator, loud and lacking his usual grace and control. He was giving the kid plenty of warning.

Barbara knew she made the right call. Even though she was worried, she wasn’t the one the kid needed.

“Hey, Dami,” he called. “You’ve been at this for a while.”

’Dami’ didn’t answer, using his katanas to fight opponents from opposite sides.

“You need to take a break, Damian.”

Barbara felt the glare from across the room.

Dick sighed, typing in the override code and shutting down the simulation.

The door opened and Damian stood with his back to them, panting, swords dipping toward the floor. He sheathed his katanas and turned in one move, stalking toward where Dick waited with crossed arms.

“I do not need to be monitored like some child!”

Rage boy returns, Barbara thought sardonically. Dick looked relaxed, voice smooth and calm, but the lack of movement was the dead giveaway. He was really worried.

“If you go at a pace like this, you are going to hurt yourself. Those simulations don’t hold back.”

“My performance was more than adequate!”

“You need to rest.”

“Do not order me about!”

Dick watched him, stance wide and low, arms to the side.

“I’m not here to fight you, Damian,” he sighed.

Damian’s face softened slightly in confusion, enough so the fear in his round eyes flickered into view. Oh man, they should have been more concerned hours ago.

“You need to rest, just like all of us do. We don’t want you to get hurt.”

He stuttered back a step before tightening his fists.

“What do you care?” He asked, quiet and tight. “I am not your concern.”

This was the real problem, wasn’t it?

Dick‘s emotions were always easy to read. His care was clear, and the full force of his love could be disorienting in its strength. These words crushed him.

This was just a kid, Barbara thought. He stood there, hands shaking, breaths quickly heaving in and out of his nose. Not a demon, not an assassin. Just a scared kid.

Dick took a step forward, hunching his shoulders and becoming as small as a giant could be. He knelt down in front of Damian, who couldn’t decide how to feel, eyebrows twitching together and apart. Guarded and wounded, armed to the teeth. Melting, just like they all did.

“You have no reason to keep me here,” the uncertainty was in the softness, how he stood still, glancing from Dick’s eyes to his shoulders. He looked so tired, now that the anger faded.

Dick sat back on his knees, blue eyes level with green.

“You are going to send for Mother, are you not?”

“Do you want me to?”

Damian’s hands shook a little faster. Dick reached forward and he jerked his head to the floor.

“You don’t have to go. You can stay.”

“My father is dead, Grayson.” If the voice belonged to anyone else, Barbara would have sworn they were crying.

The dripping in the caves around them echoed, counting the stretching silence.

“Damian, bud, look at me.” Dick slowly brought a hand to his round cheek, tilting it to face him.

“I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, okay?”

Damian pressed into his hand, trembling head to toe.

“I do not want to go back,” he whispered, cracking. The words tumbled out. “I do not want to kill for them. Mother- she-“

“Sh, shh, come here,” Dick tugged gently and wrapped him tight against his chest. Barbara realized belatedly that he was crying, silent tears dripping down his face. No breathing or sound gave it away, just the anguish on Dick’s face, where he mirrored the action. He spoke softly, rubbing his hand in circles on the kid’s bony back.

“You don’t have to go back to the League. You can stay here-“

“Where?”

Barbara felt her heart pull. His voice was small, squeaky. A child’s.

Dick kissed his forehead. “With me, silly.”

“With you?”

“Of course,” he murmured, Damian’s nose pressed into his neck. He ran his thumb along the scruffy base of his head. “You’ll always have a place with me.”

Damian’s breath hitched once and Dick brought him fully onto his lap, squeezing him tight between his arms.

The drips continued and Dick held the boy in the echoes and the silence, alone and together.

Damian’s breathing slowly evened out, and Dick stood, shifting to cradle him securely.

He stood there a moment, eyes closed and feeling the solid weight of gravity center him in a new balance.

Barbara met him where the ledge jutted out and they were nearly eye to eye.

“You’re sure about this.” It wasn’t a question. She knew him well enough to know.

“Been for a while now,” he whispered, a crooked smile on his tear stained face.

She reached out, wiping the cold tracks with her knuckles. She kissed both their cheeks.

She smiled as Damian wriggled his face into Dick’s shoulder, deep in dreamless asleep.

“Alright,” Barbara whispered.

And it would be. Because this was her Richard Grayson. And he was good, overflowing with the steady love that built unbreakable things. She trusted him like no one else, and knew his judgement was sound if not always foolproof. She was the head, he was the heart, both know their own. He looked in her eyes, and she warmed at the strength of it.

As she closed her eyes and leaned against him, she could feel the thick of it all pooling at their feet and giving mass to this something. Always this something. An invisible binding, halfway a promise, halfway a vow. She saw Damian’s face twitch just slightly, fingers brushing her hair. Dick’s heartbeat matched her own, and he rested his head against their two.

“Alright.”

————————————————————

Comments are always appreciated, if you made it to the bottom :)

[meetmeinthematinee]

Torn Ch 4 --- John Wick x OC fic

A/N: Remember my long neglected John Wick x OC fic? No? Well, finally got around to another chapter. Need a refresh? 

Ch 1 --- Ch2 --- Ch 3 

“Hmm. I’m really not sure! I’m leaning towards the textured blush paper with gold envelopes but I---I really don’t know.” The indecisive bride-to-be ran her hands over the paper options laid out before her on the large wooden table. She fixed her eyes on Kristen with a look that spoke volumes of just how overwhelmed she was. “What do you think?” She asked hesitantly. Kristen smiled warmly and set down her pen. “Personally, I really like the combination of the sage green envelope lined with gold and the blush pink paper for the card. It works all of your colours into it and I think it will look soft and elegant---but it’s really all up to you. Trust your taste!” The woman across from her lit up with excitement. “Oh my gosh! I love that idea SO MUCH! Yes. You know what? Let’s do that.” She said. “Ok, sage green, gold and pink it is! I’ll need a list of full names and addresses to do the hand lettering---as soon as you can get them to me.” Kristen said. “Of course! We just finalized the guestlist so I can have that to you by the end of the week.” She let out a sigh and visibly relaxed. “Thank you so much for everything Kristen. You’re a dream to work with!” 

Kristen smiled widely and gathered up the requested items and tucked them into a thin box. “That’s so kind. I’m happy to be a small part of your big day.” She said. “We just got in some really gorgeous planners if you need one to keep track of everything.” She said as she gestured to the display at the front of the shop. “Actually, I could use one---planning this wedding is a beast of a task. I mean, I’m excited and all---but it’s a lot!” Kristen smiled knowingly. “It is---but you’ll get it done. Just make sure to take some time to yourselves and recharge too. Thanks again for trusting me with your invites. If you have any questions about planners Steph can help you.” Kristen said, gesturing towards Steph behind the counter before heading to her office. She loved these client meetings but always needed a few moments to herself afterwards. Weddings were the bread and butter of her business---so she always put so much pressure on herself. She sank into her office chair and sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. 

The gentle knock on the door startled her. “Boss?” Steph asked as she peeked into the office. “Someone is asking about a supply order.” “Oh. Thanks Steph. I’ll be right there.” Kristen sighed again and stood up. Drumming her fingertips on the smooth surface of her desk. Collecting her thoughts. She checked her appearance in the mirror by the door and tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear before striding to the shop counter. “Hello madam. You must be Kristen, yes?” She was taken aback at the formality of the persons speech. “Yes, that’s me. How can I help you?” “Pleased to meet you Kristen, I’m James. I’ve been sent on behalf of my employer---we’re looking for a supplier of fine paper goods for our boutique hotel.” “You’d be my first corporate client---I’ve never done wholesale before.” “We’ve heard good things about you---and we always deal locally when we can.” He said. “Well, shall we get started?” She asked. “Yes, please. Thank you for accommodating me, it’s most appreciated---and apologies for not setting up an advance appointment.” “There’s no need for apologies.” She said with a warm smile. “So you’re a new boutique hotel in town?” “We’ve been in Buffalo for a long time but the city has changed so much. We feel it’s the right time to reopen.” James said. “We do value discretion. The plans haven’t been announced yet.” He added pointedly. “Understood.” She said with a sly smile. “Your secret is safe with me.” They worked together to put together the initial order for the hotel. Planners, stationary, pens, pencils. Plain black leather bound notebooks. “Do you need the name of a printer to have the items branded with your logo? I have a great one I work with.” “No, thank you. We like to keep things very minimal. Exclusive.” He said. That struck Kristen as odd. What kind of hotel didn’t want or need branded stationary? It must be a very expensive hotel---but in Buffalo? How would that work out she wondered. They worked together efficiently to get everything sorted. James followed her to the register. “Do you accept coin or shall I pay by card?” “Coin?” She asked with a small polite laugh. James immediately brought out his black company card and left the gold coins in his pocket. “Card is fine.” She said as she rang up the order. “Here’s my business card. Please do call when everything arrives. It’s been a real pleasure, Kristen.” “Likewise. Thank you for coming in. I’ll be in touch when everything is ready.” She said, taking his very elegant business card from him. “Have a pleasant evening.” He said as he left the store. “You too.” She called out distractedly as she examined the exquisitely designed business card. The Continental. Buffalo, New York. It read in elegant gold script. She recognized the address. It was a beautiful old building downtown. It had been empty for decades and she always hoped it would be saved from the wrecking ball. “What what that guy’s deal?” Steph asked loudly, causing Kristen to jump. She looked out the door and then at Steph with a puzzled look on her face. “I honestly have no idea. He was kind of...odd. Wasn’t he?” Steph laughed. “He’s definitely not from here. I know that for sure. He seemed, British?” Kristen hummed in agreement. 

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John was at the kitchen island with the crossword and a cup of coffee, his pen in hand, brows furrowed, when she came in with the groceries. Kristen put the bags down in front of the fridge before she wrapped her arms around his waist and placed a kiss on his temple. “Crossword, huh?” She said as she peered over his shoulder. “Mmm.” “You know I have many comfortable chairs to sit on, right?” She said with a laugh. He turned to meet her eyes and smirked. “I like your kitchen. It’s comfortable. It’s better with you here, though.” Kristen’s face scrunched up as a blush crept across her cheeks. “You absolute sap.” She said as she swatted his shoulder playfully. He smiled and shrugged. “Oh---I read that there’s a meteor shower tonight. I was thinking we could drive out somewhere near my place and see what we can spot?” He said. She smiled and shook her head. 

It was one of those moments where what he had done for a living and who he really was stood in such contrast that she couldn’t help but laugh. “What?” He asked as he bumped his shoulder against hers. “You got a date idea from an actual newspaper. It's funny---and very sweet and sounds like fun.” She playfully pushed him off of her and crossed her arms. A small smirk on her lips. “Yeah, yeah I’m an old man.” He said with a laugh as Kristen turned and started putting the groceries away. “I’d help you but -- my aching bones and all.” He shot her a pointed look before he turned back to the crossword with a huge grin on his face. 

He lasted all of 30 seconds before he was at her side helping put things away. “How did your bridal consult go?” He asked, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in against his chest. She felt herself relax, letting go of tension she didn’t even know she was carrying. “It went really well.” She said. “No bridezilla action? I don’t have to get involved?” He teased. “No, she was great actually---just the usual deer-in-the-headlights look that most people who plan their own wedding have.” He squeezed her a bit tighter in his arms and kissed her forehead. He thought about his own wedding. It seemed so long ago now but not nearly long enough to stop his heart from feeling that familiar tug of grief. The edges of it had dulled a bit---and even more since he’d finally been able to open up to Kristen about it. His very next thought was of her. What she’d look like walking towards him. Toward a life together. “John, you’re squishing me.” She said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He loosed his grip on her and ran his hands down her arms. Taking her hands in his. “I’m in love with you, Kristen.” He said quietly. Almost to himself. “I love you.” He said loudly, his eyes filled with warmth and hope as he gazed down at her, a smile playing on the edges of his lips. Her breath hitched in her throat. John watched her expression carefully. Taking in how her lips parted and her eyes went wide as she registered what he’d said. She squeezed his hands tightly. “I love you too. So much.” She looked radiant. Her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes softly. He leaned down and kissed her, one hand splayed on her lower back as he slid the other into her hair. He leaned back against the kitchen island and pulled her tighter against him. He hadn’t meant to blurt out his feelings for her like this---but it felt right. This moment. In her kitchen. She was his home---and maybe he could be hers. 

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They leaned back against the bumper of the car, watching the meteors track across the sky. Steam rose from their thermoses of hot chocolate, dissipating into the cold autumn night as Dog and Gremlin sat at their feet. They’d become fast friends---much to the relief and delight of John and Kristen. Dog never minded when Gremlin would lean on or even sleep on him. He’d give the occasional sigh of resignation and that would be it. “It’s beautiful out here. How’d you find this place?” She asked. John shifted and pulled her in closer to his side. “When I first moved here I was alone a lot. Restless. I think I took Dog to every park, every hiking trail all around the area.” He said. “Oh! That reminds me---there may be a new place we can explore together soon.” She said. “Where’s that?” He asked before taking a sip of his drink and staring up into the sky. “A new boutique hotel is opening up---or supposedly, reopening downtown. They came to my shop for a huge stationary supply order---but here’s the thing, the guy was really kind of weird. So...formal? I’m not sure how well it’s going to go over here.” “You said reopening?” John asked. Dread crystalizing in the pit of his stomach. “Steph thought it was weird too. I mean, he asked if he could pay by coin or card. What a dad joke.” She said. “What did you just say?” He asked. Kristen noticed that John’s whole demeanor had suddenly changed. “Coin or card.” She repeated. John pulled away from her. “It wasn’t a joke, Kristen.” John said harshly. “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner. You have NO IDEA what you’ve gotten yourself into.” “John---I was about to tell you when I got home but then the conversation we were having seemed more important. Kristen, I love you. That’s nice but this weird guy came into the shop today. Would have been better for you?” She said, throwing her hands up, her lips drawn into a hard line. John exhaled and shut his eyes, taking a minute to calm down. “No, you’re right. You had no idea that this meant anything and I’m sorry. Did he tell you what the name of the hotel was?” He asked. “Shit, I think it started with a C. The Centennial? No. That’s not right.” She said. “The Continental?” John asked flatly. “Yeah, that’s it. How did you know?” “It means they know about us.” “Who’s they?” She asked “The High Table. The people I used to...work for.”

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Tags:

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[hopelessromantic1352]

Kissing Prompt #63 - Routine Kisses

This is a prompt requested by @lxaah11 and @alj4890. I hope it works for the prompt and you like it 😊 Word count is around 1,100

Tags: @alleksa16 @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @choicesfactor @choicesmakemychoices @pb-boeboe @marycarrillo21 @kuladekiwi @ajayismybae @zeniamiii @choices-dan

I sit in my chair, which I placed purposefully next to Thomas' director's chair, and poured over my lines.

"Steph! You want some breakfast? These bagels are amazing!" Matt proceeded to take a bite of his cream cheese covered bagel, smiling as he chews.

"I'm good, thank you though."

I focus back on my script, attempting to make sure I'm fully prepared for the day when Addison calls my name.

"You're crazy! I'm even eating one and you know that I avoid carbs like the plague."

I clench my hands around the script tighter.

Holly rolls her eyes, "You two need to leave Stephanie alone, she's actually being a professional and you two are acting like children."

"Thank you Holly." I clear my throat and shift in my seat.

My gaze focuses back on the script sitting in my lap.

"Someone's been spending too much time with our director." Addison smirks, causing me to roll my eyes.

I feel a presence to my left, opposite of Thomas' chair, and I see Chris settling in his chair with a script and two binders.

"Morning," his voice is full of exhaustion. His hair is mussed, and does not even have an attempt at a style.

"Morning, you uh, got a little baby throw up on your shirt." I point out a spot on his shoulder and he groans.

"Damn, I thought I actually stayed clean." He rubs his hands over his face. "Our baby hasn't slept through the night in weeks, meaning my wife and I haven't slept well in weeks and it's really starting to take it's toll on us."

"Sorry." I really had no words for him.

What am I supposed to say?

That sucks, maybe you should wear earplugs at night.

Don't have kids.

I turn my focus back to my script as Chris and I fall into a comfortable silence. Or maybe he just fell asleep. Either way, I can focus on my lines again.

"Get the green screens set up over there." Thomas sounded snippy as he waltzed onto the set, looking as handsome as always. And dressed to a tee as always.

Great. Snippy Thomas is even grumpier Thomas.

"Morning Thomas. Can we go over something real quick?" I see Holly out of the corner of my eye holding out a binder, but Thomas just brushes her off.

I think he's in a worse mood than I am. I read through a few more lines when I feel strong hands on my shoulders massaging them gently.

I tilt my head slightly, relaxing under his touch. Out of the corner of my eye I see his lips nearing my face, so subtly, I present my cheek to him. I keep my eyes trained on the script, but my focus was all on Thomas.

Is he really doing what I think he's going to do? He's never affectionate in public.  

His lips land on my cheek first, then move to my temple, pressing a sweet, lingering kiss before pulling back.

"I missed you yesterday." His voice is hushed enough that only I can hear.

Addi and Holly have lovestruck looks on their faces as Thomas presses another kiss to my cheek.

Matt coughs, repeatedly, before he takes a drink of water. His eyes are wide as he looks back at my direction.

"Well, maybe we should spend more time apart. I like you being clingy in front of other people."

He chuckles quietly. "Being away from you for a day feels like an eternity."

He leaves my shoulders and sits in his chair on my right. His left hand finds my right, interlacing his fingers with mine.

My heart races as he continues his public display of affection.

I lean over to his ear, "I missed you too."

I smile at the sight of his neck breaking out in goosebumps and the slight shiver that runs through his body as my breath touches his skin.

"Good." He smirks at me before turning to the staring faces.

I see him scowl and his hand tightens its grip slightly.

"What? Go on with yourselves." He makes a shooing motion with his free hand, waving them away.

They quickly look away, pretending to be going over something in Holly's binder.

"We are going to dinner. Tonight." He pulls out his phone, opening the reminder app. "At six thirty."

I smile, "Oh, I actually already have plans. A date actually."

He scowls at me.

"Yeah. He's this grumpy, rough-around-the-edges guy, but he's got a soft side. Plus, he's probably the most attractive man that I've ever seen." I poke Thomas' side, "For some reason, even though he scowls all the time, I am still crazy about him."

His scowl drops and he smirks.

"I had you going huh?" I giggle.

He shakes his head and chuckles. "You are incorrigible."

Before I can react he presses a gentle kiss to my lips.

He pulls back, but I'm still frozen in place.

What just happened?

Did he just?

No way.

I open my eyes, feeling a blush on my cheeks, I look down and away from everyone.

"Wow, I think this is the most awkward I have ever felt in my entire life." I forgot Chris was sitting right next to me. "I feel like a teenager who just walked in on his parents making out on the couch."

I break out laughing, as do the rest of the cast gathered in the studio.

I double over into Thomas' lap, crying from laughing so hard.

"I believe he just insulted us, why are you laughing?" Thomas' voice was stern, as if he were scolding me.

I can't say anything. My sides hurt so bad, but I can't stop laughing.

"Why was that so funny?"

I finally collect myself and look up to see Thomas looking down at me. His face has it's usual serious lines, but his eyes are full of amusement.

"You should just laugh, Thomas." I poke his cheek and let out a few more giggles before I completely compose myself.

He smiles, but contains his laughter. "I absolutely will not. I have already shown too much emotion in front of these people."

I lean over to him. "I don't think you have." I press my lips to his again, smiling into the kiss.

"That's it, I'm out of here." Chris stands up, "I can't take you two anymore. I'm way too tired for this."

Thomas and I pull apart, both laughing.

"I love you." I whisper quietly in his ear before brushing a soft kiss on his cheek.

He smirks as Chris walks away, "I love you too."

[67-chevy-baby]

Obedience

Ship - Single!Jared x Single!Misha x Actor!OFC

Rating - 18+ Only!!!! 

Tags - Language, unprotected sex!, SMUT, light BDSM, bondage, rough sex, voyeurism, threesome (no Mishalecki), Misha is a total Dom in this btw…, oral (male and female receiving), spanking (with hands and a whip), hair pulling, fingering (female receiving), squirting, oh and also fluff! :)

Word Count - 3811 (Not even remotely sorry)

Beta - The amazing @kittenofdoomage :)

Written for - @holyfuckloueh

Being a guest star on a TV show was stressful. Kary had only been acting for two and a half years, so it still amazed her that she landed a spot on such a long-running series. Supernatural had a huge fan-base, and she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t heard of it. Watching the actual show was another story. She had meant to sit down and crank out the available seasons on Netflix, she really did, but her schedule was just too booked.

If she had known how drop-dead gorgeous the cast members were she probably would have canceled some plans and watched it sooner. She swore they were all hand carved by Michelangelo himself. Kary followed one of the PAs, Stephanie she thought her name was, into the Bunker’s kitchen. Even though her part wasn’t meant to be re-occurring, she still loved getting the tour of the place.

Just as she was about to get the rundown of what a day was like on set, Jared walked into the room sporting gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. Kary couldn’t help but stare as he stood talking to one of the producers. Her mouth watered at the way his pants hung low on his hips, and how his arm muscles seemed to almost burst through the sleeves of his shirt. Her mind drifted off to thought after dirty thought of him fucking her repeatedly against the nearest hard surface. Stephanie followed her gaze and chuckled.

“So, you like Jared hm?”

Kary blushed furiously and prayed to whoever was listening that Jared nor the producer had heard the comment.

“Yeah … I mean he’s umm … really tall.”

Steph giggled and took her arm, pulling her towards the two men.

“C’mon, let me introduce you. Jared always likes to meet the guest stars. Well, all the boys do, but Jared especially does.”

Karyne could feel her heart thudding hard against her chest as Stephanie approached them. It looked like they were reading over part of the script, but she couldn’t be sure since they were whispering. Jared turned and smiled at both of them once they got in their line of sight. He looked down at her warmly and extended his hand toward her.

“Well hi there! You must be the new guest star. Karyne is it?”

Kary took his hand in hers and admired how his fingers almost completely covered her smaller ones. His skin was warm and calloused, and she couldn’t stop the image of him pressing three of his thick digits into her aching pussy flashing through her mind. She bit her lip to stop a moan and didn’t miss how his eyes traveled down to her mouth.

“Yes I’m Karyne, but uhh everyone just calls me Kary. It’s umm … very nice to meet you, Jared.”

She took her hand back and nervously played with the hem of her shirt feeling his eyes on her. Even though she didn’t think he was meaning to, he really emanated dominance. Jared looked her up and down quickly before turning his attention to another crew member whom she hadn’t noticed until now.

“Hey Jare, they need you in hair and makeup. We start shooting in forty-five minutes.”

Kary watched as he gave her a little smirk and a wave before heading off down the hallway. Stephanie led her to the costume trailer so she could get fitted for her proper demon attire. She would be playing one of Crowley’s minions who had information on his whereabouts. Her character would get kidnapped by the Winchesters and get tortured for said info. If she was being honest, it’s the torture she was most excited for. She’d heard stories from her friends of how sexy Sam and Dean were when they were the least bit authoritative.

Soon she was sporting her character’s edgy outfit and was being led to the threshold of the Bunker’s cellar. Kary was fitted into some black skinny jeans that hugged her waist perfectly. The red tank top showed a smidgen of her midriff and accentuated her cleavage nicely. A pair of black stilettos and her hair falling in loose curls down her shoulders completed her look.  Neither of the boys were there yet, but they couldn’t be far behind. The anticipation of acting out this scene with them, especially Jared, was making her heart race.

A few moments later another crew member, who she could only assume worked somewhere in the prop department, strode in the small area carrying a thick coil of rope. The woman laid it on the lone desk and motioned for Kary to sit. Once she was seated, a couple other people came in to remove the everything but her and the wooden chair.

“Hello Kary, my name is Tori, have you ever been tied to a chair before?”

If she wasn’t so nervous, she would have laughed because damn what an introduction that was. Instead, she shook her head and held her arms out in front of her.

“It’s nice to meet you, Tori. No, I haven’t been, but I’m assuming you want me like this?”

Tori giggle and walked behind her and uncoiled the rope.

“Actually sweetie, I need you to put both wrists thru the openings in the back of the chair. I’m gonna tie your wrists back here instead. The rope will be kinda snug, but I don’t want you to be nervous. All you gotta do is say something and we will cut you free alright? Oh, and another thing, the boys can kinda be … what’s the word I’m looking for? … Intimidating, yes intimidating when it comes to torture scenes. If you need a break, don’t be afraid to let them know okay? They are hypersensitive to guest stars’ needs, and no one will blame you if you need to take a breather.”

Kary was glad everyone was so kind and approachable. This was probably one of the best sets she’s ever worked on. Just as Tori was securing the final knot on her restraints, Jensen, Jared, and Misha all walked in sporting their usual attire. They were all laughing about something but stopped when they noticed Kary sitting in the center of the Devil’s Trap.

She felt so exposed as they all stared at her. Jensen and Misha walked towards her, while Jared stayed rooted to the spot. Both men approached her and squatted down to her level, their smiles calming her overactive nerves.

“Hi, there sweetheart! It’s very nice to meet you. I’m Jensen, and this is Misha. You’re Kary, right? Jared told us he already got the pleasure of meeting you.”

She fixed her gaze on Jared who was blushing slightly. Turning her attention back to the two other leads in front of her, she gave them each a kind smile.

“It’s very nice to meet you both. I’d uh … I’d shake your hand, but I’m kinda tied up.”

Misha chuckled and patted her lightly on the thigh.

“With that sense of humor, you’ll fit right in!”

Just as she was about to come up with a witty reply, the director walked into the room with a clipboard.

“Okay, everyone, let’s get started shall we? We’ve only got Kary for a day, so let’s be on our best behavior today boys.”

Jensen and Jared both snickered while Misha rolled his eyes. They all took their places and took a minute to get into character. Kary closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before opening them again. She tested her bonds to set the scene and felt how they dug into the sensitive skin of her wrists.

Once action was called, Kary could definitely see a change in the boys’ demeanor. It was as if they were completely different people. Jensen approached her, his eyes dark with menace, and pulled a knife from one of his pockets. He circled the chair, the thud of his boots hitting the concrete like a slow metronome. Finally, he stopped and knelt down so his face was mere inches from her own. The knife rested against her chest, the hard plastic pressing into her sternum forcefully. Even though the knife looked very real, it was most certainly nothing of the sort. It even retracted into the hilt when it stabbed someone so it looked all the more real on screen.

“Now, listen here you bitch, my patience is running thin. Just tell me where Crowley is, and I won’t drag it out.”

Kary smiled maliciously and let out a guttural laugh.

“You Winchesters always think you can just bully the information out of us. Well, I’ve got news for you pathetic lumberjacks, you might as well kill me now because none of you are worth my time.”

Jensen took the knife and sliced open a particular spot in Kary’s outfit. It didn’t look like much now, but on screen, it would glow and sizzle for added effect. She squirmed and screamed, letting her breath become heavy before replaying through gritted teeth.

“Is that all you got? Guess I better go tell the other demons that Sam, Dean, and their pet angel are going soft.”

Jared’s upper lip curled into a snarl, and Kary felt herself become wet at the sight. She was sure her panties were ruined, but she didn’t break character. The taller of the three walked around to her backside, while Misha came up to Jensen’s flank. Kary focused on his chrome angel blade that suddenly appeared from his trench coat sleeve and tried to break her restraints again to make it look like she was now nervous.

She felt someone grab her hair and yank her head back to expose the delicate skin of her neck to Castiel’s blade. Jared leaned down until his mouth was right next to her ear, and it took all of her self control to stay in her demonic character.

“You gonna talk now or are we gonna have to force you? ‘Cause, believe me, my brother, Cas, and I aren’t the least bit scared of a lowlife demon like you.”

Kary bit her lip right as the director shouted cut. Tori came in to cut her free while the boys commended her on the scene. Apparently, that take was enough, because she was told she could go get changed out of her character’s clothes.

Once she was back in the guest trailer, she stripped off her clothes and folded them neatly on the dresser. She didn’t need to shower since she took one just that morning, but she did need to cool off after shooting. Jared’s power over her was almost too much. Plus, it had been a long time since she was touched by another person sexually.

Kary grabbed a hair tie from her wrist and twisted her hair up in it before stepping into the shower. The cool liquid soothed the aching need she felt, but it didn’t cure it. Jared did more things to her with just a look than any other man had ever done.

Once she was cooled off she wrapped a white fluffy towel around herself and stepped out into the bedroom. This is when she started to notice things that confused her. Little things like a pair of men’s shoes, a t-shirt, and then suddenly it hit her. She wasn’t in the guest trailer at all.

Fear coursed through her when she heard the trailer door open. She had nowhere to go, so she just stood there holding the towel closer to her naked body. She wasn’t prepared for the shocked look Jared gave her when he rounded the corner to his bedroom. He stared at her momentarily before taking a step closer to her shaking form.

“Kary? What … what are you doing?”

Karyne felt her lower lip begin to quiver, her eyes filling with tears of shame as he slowly got closer and closer to her. Once he was in front of her, she let a single tear fall. He watched as it cascaded down her cheek, wanting desperately to wipe it away but decided against it so he didn’t spook her.

“I … I’m sorry I didn’t … I thought …”

She felt strong arms envelop her in a hug, his fingertips sliding over her exposed shoulder blades lightly. Kary looked up at him and sighed when the pad of his thumb wiped her tear away. Jared never thought she looked more beautiful than in this moment. Her raw vulnerability struck a chord in him, and he slowly leaned in toward her lips.

The moment he kissed her, Kary felt like a grand finale of fireworks exploded inside her. She wrapped her arms around Jared’s neck and allowed him to carry her towards his queen size bed. He broke the kiss long enough to drop her down onto the mattress. Tearing his shirt quickly over his head and fumbling with his belt shouldn’t be sexy, but Kary was literally panting at the sight. Finally, Jared was standing bare before her, his hardness jutting out in front of him proudly.

He climbed on the bed supporting himself on his knees taking a moment to allow his eyes to travel over her body.

“You’re so fucking beautiful Kary. Wanted this since the moment I met you.”

Jared pulled her up so her nipples were pressed firmly against his chest, bringing them to hardened peaks. He began to roughly kiss her, pulling her hair like he did during the scene they shot earlier so he could kiss and suck at her pulse point. Kary cried out when he bit lightly at her neck and ground her pussy against the thickness of his cock.

He growled seductively and flipped them so she was on top of him. Jared motioned for her to turn around, and she looked at him confused.

“Wanna taste you, Kary. Wanna feel you cum on my face baby.”

She almost came by his words alone. No one had ever done this with her before. She’d barely done anything with a man before and had only slept with another person once. It wasn’t very enjoyable for her, so she never really tried to find anyone else. It hadn’t occurred to her that maybe the person she’d had relations with before had been doing it wrong. Kary got into position, placing each one of her knees parallel to Jared’s pectoral muscles. He greedily pulled her down and started relentlessly lapping at her soaked cunt. His strong arms held her in place as she writhed above him, crying out his name.

“Jar-Jared! Ahh! Fuck I-I’m close!!”

Kary was so caught up in the moment that she didn’t notice Misha standing in the bedroom’s threshold. For a moment, his jaw dropped at the sight before him, but he quickly felt himself hardening in his jeans. He began teasing his thickening cock through the denim, admiring how erotic the scene was before him. Misha continued to watch as Kary came undone on Jared’s mouth alone, her orgasm ripped through her like a current causing her to thrash and shake seductively.

“Fu-fuck!! JARED!!! Oh, shi-ahhh!!”

Kary climbed off Jared’s face and squealed when she was met with Misha’s lust blown eyes. Jared just smirked, clearly proud of himself for making the other man so worked up. He didn’t seem to be embarrassed at all, almost like he liked the thrill of getting caught.  

M-Misha?! What are you doing??”

His blue eyes darkened with want as he looked her up and down like she was prey.

“I could ask you the same thing Karyne, but right now I have something else in mind. Why don’t you be a good girl for Jared and I and kneel on the bed.”

Kary felt the familiar heat reignite in her abdomen as she climbed on the soft comforter, her knees spread slightly. Misha discarded his clothes slowly and pumped his cock a few times before standing in front of her. A bead of precum leaked out of the head, and she instinctively licked her lips.

“Be a good girl for us, and you’ll get rewarded sweetheart. Gotta do what we say though. Think you can do that?”

Kary nodded and looked up at Misha through her long lashes. Immediately she felt the sting of Jared’s hand land across her ass. She yelped, letting the lingering burn arouse her even more.

“I think Misha was waiting on an appropriate answer darlin’. How about you acknowledge him properly?”

Kary bit her lip and stuttered out what she hoped was the right answer.

“Y-Yes, sir.”

Misha groaned deeply and closed his eyes.

“Mmm good girl. Now open that pretty mouth of yours for me. I’ve wanted those perfect lips wrapped around me all afternoon.”

Soon they built up a rhythm. Misha fucked her mouth, while Jared teased her aching cunt with his tongue and fingers. He’d work her up to the point where she was about to tip over the edge but stopped right before she could. Kary pulled off Misha’s dick with an obscene pop to catch her breath. Before she could she felt two of his nimble fingers lift her chin up and saw his disapproving eyes.

“Oh sweetie, I didn’t tell you to stop did I? I think Jared’s gonna have to show you what happens when you disobey us.”

She whimpered when the tendrils of what had to be a whip slid over the curve of her ass. A second later, a loud crack filled the room as it blistered her skin. The impact of it sent a shockwave of heat straight to her core, her folds becoming slicker with need by the second.

“Pl-please … I’ll be a good girl sir. Please f-fuck me…”

Misha smirked and looked at Jared as he absentmindedly stroked his thick length.

“What do you think Jare? Should we give her what she needs? She has been pretty good.”

Jared ran his fingers over the pink welt that was now becoming visible on the flesh of her ass and licked his lips.

“I thought you’d never ask. Didn’t know how much longer I could wait.”

Misha chuckled and pushed Kary down onto the bed, admiring how her breasts bounced invitingly. He crawled over her and placed a loving kiss to her lips.

“I think you can wait a little longer, Jared. Seeing as you’ve already made her cum once, I think it’s my turn. Why don’t you go sit in that chair over there, and let me show you how it’s done.”

Kary thought for sure that he would argue with the other man, but surprisingly he didn’t protest at all. She watched as he took a seat and almost immediately begin running his hand over his sizable member. Her attention quickly reverted back to Misha as she felt his lips start to leave a trail of open-mouthed kisses down her body. He looked up into her eyes, marveling at her little whimpers and pleas from just his lips.

“Oh god… please …need to feel you…”

Misha settled himself between her legs and lined himself up before pushing into her tight heat. Kary’s back arched off the bed as he thrust into her relentlessly, not giving her time to adjust to his size. Her screams reverberated off the trailer’s walls, her hands gripping the sheets to stay grounded, as she felt herself close to the edge.

“Mish-ahhhh! Oh right there… I’m gonna… gon-ah!!”

Misha snarled, positioning himself so he was hitting her sweet spot over and over.

“C’mon sweetheart, cum for me. Fuck! Cum all over my cock baby!”

His words were like a switch, sending her into pure bliss. Her walls contracted around his cock almost making Misha lose his load, but he had other plans. He didn’t want to cum just yet. As soon as he pulled out of her Jared was on the bed. Kary squealed as he picked her up effortlessly and placed her on all fours. He leaned down over her shoulder and spoke praises in her ear.

“You did so good darlin’. Took Misha’s cock like a champ, but now you’re gonna take both of us. Gonna take both of our loads like a good girl.”

Misha kneeled in front of her while Jared lined up behind her. He slid inside her eager cunt ever so slowly making Kary feel every inch of him. Her breath was ragged, her eyes shut tight at the sensation. Once he was fully seated, she felt the tip of Misha’s dick press against her mouth. She opened on command and took as much of him as she could. Both men groaned at began a steady rhythm.

Kary felt so full, her eyes watering as Misha assaulted her mouth over and over again. The burn in her throat making her all the more stimulated. Jared’s hips began to stutter, and sweat dripped onto her body.

“Kary.. oh fuck… not gonna last… c’mon baby cum with me.”

Misha gripped her hair to hold her still as he guided his cock into her hot mouth, his own orgasm just around the corner. Jared pistoned into her bundle of nerves at a brutal pace, and suddenly felt Kary start to shake. Her cries became louder as he felt her walls contract around him. Just as he felt the first ropes of cum shoot into her, he felt another sensation. Kary’s own juices spilled out coating his cock and legs just as Misha spilled himself down her awaiting throat.

She was too tired to move, the feeling of euphoria still resonating at what just happened. Misha scooped her up as Jared pulled back the covers. Kary was laid down gently, the soft material soothing against her skin. Both men laid down on either side of her, relishing in the skin-on-skin warmth.

Even though her role on the show wasn’t meant to be long-lasting, Kary knew that being between these two men wasn’t just a one-time thing. The past few years had their ups and downs, but now she felt like she had something to live for. Jared and Misha were her missing link, and she drifted off to sleep knowing that she’d never be alone again.

[a-splash-of-stucky]

A Messed Up Place | Epilogue

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Summary: A wedding and a surprise

Warnings: flooffy goodness :’)

“Professional” Notes: The last ever AMUP update is being posted on Bucky’s birthday — I feel like that’s appropriate, somehow. Also, this was supposed to be a short and sweet epilogue but whOOPS 4k words happened somehow. Self-discipline? Don’t know what that is, never heard of it. #noregrets

“Emotional” Notes: I’m sobbing, I’m screaming, I’m hysterical, I’m not ready for this gAAHHHH!!!!

I’m feeling like a bundle of raw emotions rn. A Messed Up Place has been a labour of love ever since October 12th, 2017, my 19th birthday and the day I posted the AMUP Prologue. Now, nearly 5 months later, it’s coming to its official end. Thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me throughout this journey — your reblogs, comments and reactions have truly meant the world to me. To share this story with you, to see all the love that has come out of it, to have had this story bring me closer to some of my faves…there are no words to describe how I’m feeling. Honestly. Thank you so much, all of you.

Also, I’m sorry I broke your hearts and made you cry — I hope it was worth it all in the end.

AMUP Masterlist

“My point is, I’ve known Tony for a long time,” says Rhodey. He pauses and cocks his head to the side, before barking out a short, dry laugh. “Actually, now that I think about it, it hasn’t been that long year-wise, but man, with the amount of sh—I mean…stuff he’s gotten himself into, it sure does feel a lot longer.”

As Rhodey takes a sip of his champagne, he catches Bucky’s gaze out of the corner of his eye and  gives an almost imperceptible quirk of his eyebrows. Bucky flashes him an easy smile and gives him a subtle thumbs-up, showing his thanks for the quick save.

Steph’s at the age where she just adores repeating basically every word that she hears. The last thing Bucky needs is for the word ‘shit’ to be added to her repertoire of favourites, alongside ‘laun-de-reee’, ‘no’ and ‘cat dick’.

Though, with a room full of adults in various stages of tipsiness, not adding a swear word to Steph’s vocabulary is proving easier said than done. There have been a few too many close-calls tonight. Why did Bucky ever think that letting Steph stay for the reception was a good idea? Her sleep schedule’s going to be fucked up for the next week.

Bucky pauses, registering his train of thought. God, he’s such a dad.

“I remember when Tony was an insufferable know-it-all,” Rhodey continues, his voice drawing Bucky back to the present. “Oh wait — he still is an insufferable know-it-all.”

That pulls a chuckle out of Bucky and causes a titter of laughter to ripple through the room. Tony gives his best man an affronted look.

“Yeah, but I guess back in the day, he was a hundred times worse,” Rhodey amends, once the audience has settled again. “I mean, c’mon! He was schooling all of his professors in MIT! Gave a lecture of his own, at one point — after hijacking the lectern in true Tony fashion, of course.”

“I’ve watched him as he lived the life of a CEO playboy. I’ve seen him learn what responsibility is. I’ve seen him at the lowest of his low points and the peak of his high points. And I thought I’d seen all the parts of him there ever was to see — until he met you, Pepper.”

The customary wave of ‘aww’s’ sweep through the room. Bucky watches as Pepper — in an uncustomary public display of affection — scoots her chair closer to Tony’s and rests her cheek on his shoulder. Pepper’s strawberry blonde hair has started to fall out of her bun, curled tendrils hanging loosely around her face. Her cheeks have a rosy glow to them that match the happy glimmer in her eyes. She looks relaxed and in love and more at peace than she’s ever been — just like her new husband.

“You bring out a whole different side of him, Pep,” Rhodey says, the fondness evident in his tone. “He’ll deny this to his grave, I know, but you make him soft at heart. You’re good for him and hopefully — he’ll be good to you. May the both of you live a long life, have a healthy marriage and please, for the love of god, don’t let any of your kids get their hands on Tony’s suits. To the both of you,” he declares, raising his champagne flute with a grin on his face. Amidst waves of laughter, Bucky catches the toast being echoed by the rest of the wedding guests.

Bucky pushes off from the wall he’s been leaning on and walks back to the centre of the dance floor. He takes the mic off Rhodey as their paths cross, murmuring a quiet ‘well done’ as they brush shoulders. That’s the last speech of what has been an eventful night, filled with tears (of the happy sort), lots of laughter and two separate occasions of Tony nearly setting Pepper’s dress on fire.

But besides those instances of near-catastrophe, the whole affair has been rather low-key and chilled. It’s clear that Pepper’s done most of the wedding planning. The entire event is being held in the back gardens of the compound. An enormous marquee has been set up, with fairy lights, lanterns and all manner of flowers strung from the ceiling. There’s a dance floor on one end and tables taking up the rest of the space. Everything is pastel coloured and tastefully decorated.

It’s nice. Really nice.

“So, that marks the end of all the speeches we have lined up for tonight,” Bucky says, addressing the assembled crowd. He’s the MC of the reception, tasked with the trying job of facilitating seamless transitions between the nights’ entertainment.

Bucky’s really glad that his work is almost done.

“I’d just like to say a quick thank you, on behalf of our newly married couple, to everyone that’s made this event what it was. And to Tony and Pepper — I’m sure you’re sick of hearing this, by this point, but congratulations,” Bucky says sincerely, flashing the two of them a warm smile. Pepper returns the gesture and Tony nods his head in acknowledgement.

Just then, Bucky hears the tap-tap-tap of patent-leather shoes darting across the floor. He beams when he catches sight of his daughter rushing towards him at full speed, arms outstretched, fine blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders and chocolate cake smeared on her chin.

Typical, he sighs internally. Well, at least there’s no chocolate on her white dress.

As Stephanie runs to his side, Bucky crouches down to welcome her with open arms. He hoists her up in one smooth motion, perching her on his waist. She enthusiastically wraps her arms around his neck and flashes him a toothy grin.

“Hello gorgeous,” Bucky murmurs, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. Bucky spots you sitting beside Pepper and arches an eyebrow in your direction, before looking pointedly at Steph; a silent what’s she up to?

You shrug exaggeratedly, hands raised and palms facing outward. How the hell do I know?

“Daddy,” Steph whines, patting Bucky on the cheek to get his attention, “Wanna go dancing again.”

Bucky’s heart might just have melted a little. He ducks his head closer, “Almost done here, gorgeous, then we can go dancing again, okay?” he whispers, lips brushing the shell of Steph’s ear with each word. He smiles when she giggles and pushes his face away with her pudgy hands; his baby’s always had ticklish ears.

Steph leans back and puts her palm on his cheek, schooling her features into a more solemn expression. “Daddy, I haff something ‘portant to tell you,” she says seriously.

“Oh?” Bucky asks, arching an eyebrow in amusement. “Okay, but is there something you want to say to Tony and Pepper first, gorgeous?”

Stephanie seems to think about it for a minute, brows drawing together and lips pursing as if she’s sucked on a lemon. When it clicks, she claps her hands excitedly as an exuberant grin spreads across her face.

“Yeah!” she cries, making grabby hands for the mic, “I gotta say something!”

Bucky chuckles, holding the mic closer to her mouth. “Go ahead, sweetheart,” he says.

Steph twists around so that she’s beaming brightly at the crowd of expectant faces. As the one and only flower girl in attendance, over the course of the night, Steph seems to have won over the hearts of everyone present.

Who can blame them, really?

Bucky catches sight of you, sitting in between Wanda and Pepper, watching your daughter with a bemused smile on your face. You’ve got your chin propped up on one hand, a glass of water poised at your lips. You meet Bucky’s gaze and flash him a cheeky wink, just as you take a sip.

“Ev’body? I’m gonna be a biiiiiig sistah!” Steph announces proudly.

What?

It’s lucky that Bucky’s eyes are trained on you, because your reaction to Steph’s revelation is priceless. You choke on your mouthful of water and burst into a coughing fit. Wanda turns towards you to thump your back, whilst simultaneously shooting Bucky an is this for real? expression. Pepper and Tony have bolted upright, their haze of marital bliss disrupted by the commotion. Natasha and Sam look like they’ve gone into shock, and everyone else’s gaze is focused on Stephanie, who is seemingly unaware of what she’s just done.

A stunned hush descends over the room.

“Uhm,” Bucky mutters weakly. He clears his throat and shifts Stephanie on his hip. “Uhh—gorgeous…I think you had something else you wanted to say to Tony and Pepper, right?” he asks. “Remember? You were practicing it this morning?”

Stephanie cocks her head to the side and narrows her eyes. “Oh! Oh, con…gra…chu…lay…shuns?” she says slowly, carefully enunciating each syllable.

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees, his voice strained. “Yeah, um…why don’t you go sit back down with Aunty Nat, gorgeous, and let Daddy finish this off?” he suggests. Steph nods agreeably. Bucky sets her down and watches as she toddles off towards the head table, where Natasha is holding a hand out for her. Bucky runs his metal hand through his hair and takes a shaky breath.

“Okay, well…um,” he starts, “I—guess there’s not much more for me to say. Congratulations, Tony and Pepper. May you have a good marriage and all that.”

He’s pretty sure his words fall on deaf ears. As Bucky hands the mic back to the DJ hovering at the back of the dance floor, he spies you hurriedly weaving through the tables and slipping out of the marquee via one of the side flaps. Sam shoots Bucky a pointed look and jerks his head in your direction; a clear go after her, dude. Steph seems to be well-occupied by Natasha for the moment, and so, silently praying that his daughter isn’t going to start spouting out more secrets, Bucky quickly dashes after you.

When he steps outside, Bucky discovers that the twilight hour has come and gone. As his eyes adjust to the darkness, Bucky spins around in a circle, trying to find you. He spots you sitting on the concrete steps leading into the main building, your elbows on your knees, hands clasped in front of you and forehead pressed against your wrists. He sighs, slowly walking towards you, loosening his tie and undoing the top button of his crisp white shirt as he goes. Bucky plops himself down a couple of steps below you, body angled in your direction.

“She’s only three,” you say weakly, not bothering to lift your head up to acknowledge him. “What did I expect? Ugh, our daughter is terrible at keeping secrets.”

Bucky’s heart does an excited little flutter. “So she was serious?” he croaks out.

You drop your hands. Your mascara’s smudged underneath your eyes and most of your lipstick has rubbed off, this late in the day. But, you’ve still got a smile on your face and to Bucky, you look as beautiful as ever.

“I found out a few days ago,” you admit quietly, “Realised that my period was late and took a test.” You laugh softly, “Got the shock of my life when I saw it was positive.”

Bucky inhales sharply.

“I thought it’d be a nice to have Steph tell you the news,” you continue, eyes flicking up briefly to meet his. “I’ve been practicing it with her and—,” you break off with a groan, burying your face in your hands. “Fuck, why did I ever think that was a good idea? Now everyone knows that I’m pregnant and I wanted to tell you first in private before—and, and now—,”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Bucky interjects, pushing himself onto his knees and catching your wrists in his hands. He pulls them to his chest, ignoring your weak protests, leaving you unable to hide your face from him. When you tilt your chin upwards, Bucky sees the glimmer of unshed tears in your eyes. The watery smile on your lips tells him that they’re not tears of sadness, though. In this moment, Bucky feels like there’s a gurgling pressure behind his sternum, a bubbling spring of emotions itching to spew free.

“For real, princess?” he asks quietly, barely able to contain himself.

You laugh breathlessly, the corners of your eyes crinkling with joy. “Yeah, honey. Really.”

Bucky swallows, then leans in close until his forehead is resting against yours, until his nose brushes your cheek and your breath ghosts over his face. You slip a hand out of his grip and curl it around the back of his neck, fingers combing through his ponytail.

“Tell me again, sweetheart,” Bucky says, voice hoarse, thick with tears. With your palm pressed to his chest, he has no doubt that you can feel the mad thumping of his heart. “I need to hear you say it.”

Your hand on the back of his neck tightens its grip. “I’m pregnant,” you whisper.

Bucky lets out a half-sob, body surging forward to crash his lips against yours. Inside his chest, he feels the dam burst, allowing a tsunami wave of emotions to course through his system. The kiss is heated and sweet and meaningful, all that same time. His brain is spinning, his body is floating, his heart is soaring, his soul is singing. He’s overcome with feelings and he just—he can’t put any of them into words.

“Sweetheart,” he says breathlessly, brokenly. It’s the only word his brain can think of right now. Fuck—he has so many things to tell you. I can’t believe it, he wants to say. I’m terrified, maybe. I’m so fucking happy. I love you so much. “I—oh my god—,”

“I know,” you say fervently, meeting his lips for another urgent kiss, “I know.”

And perhaps, he just doesn’t need to say anything. Maybe you’ve heard all those unsaid words anyway. Maybe, after all this time, you just know.

“Again,” Bucky demands, one hand cupping the back of your head, the other arm encircling your waist. He darts in for another kiss — fuck he never wants to stop kissing you, ever — as he leans forward, forcing you to brace your elbows against the step above the one you’re sitting on. “Tell me again,” he begs, gently nipping your bottom lip as he pulls back to look at you.

He takes in your kiss-bitten lips, your darkened eyes and your messy hair. You curl your fingers into the lapels of his jacket, just as your lips curl into a private smile, for his eyes only. “I’m pregnant,” you repeat, your voice quiet, sincere.

Bucky drops down again, brushing his lips against yours. “I love you so much,” he says, in between kisses, “So fucking much, you know that?”.

“Love you too,” you reply, throwing your arms over his shoulders to hold him close.

Where words fail, actions speak.

Bucky pours every ounce of love surging through his body into every press of his lips, desperately hoping that each kiss is enough to telegraph the extent of his emotions. Words are not enough, actions are not enough — he wants you to know how he’s feeling so bad. His world is shaken by this news — for better, for worse, who knows?

The only certainty he’s holding onto right now is you.

Bucky blankets your body with his, moulding his body to yours and wishing he could do the same to your souls. He kisses you and tastes the salt of your tears, the mint on your tongue. He feels the hammering of your heart, hears your barely-audible sighs and greedily drinks in the exultant joy radiating out of every fibre of your being.

“Sweetheart,” Bucky breathes, cradling the back of your neck with his flesh hand and pulling your mouth closer, kissing your lips like you’re the oxygen that Bucky has been starving for. And maybe that is what you are, Bucky thinks desperately, a fleeting thought in his dizzy mind. Maybe you’ve been his oxygen all this while. Because it’d certainly felt like an agonisingly slow death, enduring all those months without you.

The two of you lose time like that, sprawled out on the steps, tangled in each others arms, rucking up your fancy clothes. You trade kisses and soft touches, murmured promises and meaningful stares. There’s a simmering heat in his belly that Bucky could turn into something more if he stoked the fire and gave it some attention, but for now — this is enough.

From somewhere on his left, someone clears their throat obnoxiously.

Bucky startles, quickly rolling off you as he reaches for the knife strapped to his left calf. When he sees who it is, he allows his posture to relax, although a hot rush of embarrassment does race through his veins.

“If we’d walked out a second later, I’m fairly certain we’d’ve stumbled across you two defiling our porch steps,” Tony remarks dryly.

Pepper gently elbows him in the side. “Tony!” she chastises, “Be nice.”

“Sorry, darling,” Tony says quickly. Bucky doesn’t miss the dopey look he shoots in her direction.

Seriously. Were you and Bucky ever this bad?

Bucky glances down at the gold ring welded onto his metal ring finger, casts his mind back to a warm summer’s day on the beach, sun on his face, sand between his toes, his arms around your waist and thinks no — the two of you were worse.

“Anyway,” Tony drawls, “I must say, your daughter sure does have a knack for dramatic timing.”

“He did learn from the best,” Pepper comments sarcastically, giving him the side-eye. Tony squawks in protest.

“Tony—Pepper, I’m so, so sorry,” you say quickly, sitting up and brushing you skirt back into place. “I—I really didn’t mean to steal your thunder, or anything like that, I swear, it was—,”

Pepper holds a hand up to silence you, a benevolent smile on her lips. “No harm done, Y/N,” she says reassuringly, “Really, we mean it. Yes, it was quite the shock, but—that just makes the night more memorable, no? We’re not mad, honestly.”

Tony snorts. “Speak for yourself,” he grumbles. “Sorry, sorry,” he adds hastily, when Pepper narrows her eyes into a murderous glare. Turning his focus back to the two of you, he clears his throat and says, “Congratulations, and all that good stuff, I suppose.”

Pepper rolls her eyes. “Yes, congratulations, you two,” she says emphatically. “And technically, it is past midnight, so you didn’t really steal our thunder.”

You make a sound that is a cross between a laugh and a groan. “I’m never going to forgive her for this,” you mutter darkly, “There goes her Stark tablet privileges for the week!”

“You say that, but you know she’ll just do something to make you forgive her in the next day,” Bucky points out. “Kid’s got us wrapped around her finger.”

With a resigned, full-bodied sigh, you slump against Bucky’s side. “It’s the thought that counts,” you say morosely.

“Well, I think we’ll leave you two to rejoice in peace,” Tony says decisively, pivoting on his heel and striding back to the party. “Just don’t traumatise any of our guests when they come out here!” he calls over his shoulder.

“Tony,” Pepper says, in a voice that is both fond and exasperated. To the two of you, she adds, “Seriously, no offence taken. I’ll make sure that Nat’s keeping an eye on Stephanie.”

“Thank you, Pepper,” Bucky says, as Pepper glides off towards her husband, her periwinkle blue wedding dress swishing with each step.

The two of you sit in silence, watching as Tony and Pepper slip back into the marquee, hand-in-hand. When the coast is clear, you peel yourself away from Bucky’s side and climb into his lap. Bucky chuckles in surprise, but plants his feet flat on the step below, allowing you to straddle his thighs.

You pay no attention to the fact that your skirt has bunched up in your lap, nor to the fact that someone from the reception could stumble out and see you two at any second. Bucky rests his hands on your waist and tips his head back to look at you, awestruck by the reality of the situation and the enormity of this new adventure.

“How the hell are we gonna manage with two little ones?” he asks quietly, thumbs rubbing gentle circles into your hipbones. “We can barely get by with just Steph!”

You throw your head back and laugh, drawing Bucky’s attention to the elegant column of your neck. Compelled, he leans forward and presses a kiss to the hollow of your throat, letting his lips linger for a while. You hum softly, looping your arms over his shoulders and scooting forward a little, so that your chest is pressed against his.

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” you murmur, “Things always seem to have a way of working out.”

When your lips finally meet, the kiss is tender — languid and lazy, like a sluggish breeze on a sweltering hot day. Bucky’s arms tighten around you, the fingers of his flesh hand tangling in your hair, his metal hand tracing patterns across the skin of your bare back. He swipes his tongue across your bottom lip and swallows your breathy sigh. You mouth opens so easily for him and before long, he finds you rolling your hips against his in slow, sinuous motions.

Bucky’s mouths a trail of wet kisses across your jaw and down your neck, coming to a stop above your pulse point. He feels your thrumming heartbeat against his lips, seemingly beating in time with his own heart.

“D’you think it’s okay if we ask Nat and Sam to take Steph for the night?” he asks, only half-joking, “Y’know. For celebration purposes.”

He feels the rumble of your laughter vibrate through his chest. “Bucky,” you giggle.

“What?”

“No,” you say. Bucky’s fairly certain he heard your eyes rolling, that time.

“Aw—c’mon, honey—,”

“No,” you repeat firmly. Before he can protest further, you cup Bucky’s jaw in your hands, tilting his head back until he meets your eyes.

Your hair is disheveled, falling around your face in messy strands. There’s a gleaming brightness in your eyes that makes the marquee lights behind you seem pale in comparison. You brush your thumb across Bucky’s stubbled jaw, an absentminded smile playing on your lips. “Not tonight, at least,” you tell him.

Bucky swallows, reaches his flesh hand up to catch your wrist. He turns his face to the side and presses his lips to the heel of your palm, registers your sharp intake of breath. “I’m gonna hold you to that promise,” he murmurs.

You huff out a laugh and lean forward, nosing a path down his cheek. Bucky turns his head and finds your mouth again, pressing his lips against yours in slow, unhurried movements.

“Tell me again,” Bucky whispers, as his flesh hand comes to rest on top of your belly.

You rest your hands on top of his, before swallowing audibly. You hold his gaze, your eyes bright with sudden tears, a pure and hopeful smile on your lips.

“I’m pregnant, sweetheart. We’re gonna have another baby.”

Bucky thinks he’ll never be as happy as he is right now, sitting on some concrete steps with you in his arms, stealing kisses from your lips whilst the sounds of laughter and upbeat music float across the gardens.

Bucky’s glad he stands corrected a few months later, on Steph’s fourth birthday, when he sees the look of delight on his baby’s face as she sets eyes on her unicorn-themed birthday cake. They’re surrounded by their super-family, a collection of opened presents and shredded wrapping paper littering the floor of the common room. Stephanie manages to get pink frosting all over her face, making Bucky laugh until his cheeks are sore. You try to keep the smile from spreading across your face, but it’s a futile effort when you have a daughter as sweet as Steph.

You have a hand resting protectively on top of your burgeoning belly, and the sight only serves to make Bucky’s heart swell a little more.

Bucky’s glad he stands corrected a few months after that, as he cradles his son in his arms, gently rocking him back and forth as he makes his way over to your side of the bed. You take him from Bucky, cooing softly as you stroke your knuckle over his chubby cheeks. Steph, perched on your other side, peers at the baby curiously, as if trying to decide what to make of her little brother. Warily, tentatively, she brushes her index finger over his pudgy fist, gasping in surprise when he wraps his little fingers around it and holds on tight.

“I think I could love him,” she whispers.

Bucky’s glad he stands corrected a few years down the line, as the two of you bring in the last of the boxes and set them on the kitchen counter. The house is a mess, the kids are wreaking their usual havoc and the last thing he wants to do is walk up a flight of stairs to check on them. Both of you are gross and sweaty, but Bucky loops his arms around you and pulls you close nonetheless, planting an enthusiastic kiss on your lips. Moving in has been stressful and exciting, to say the least, but Bucky is eager to start writing this new chapter in your lives. He can’t wait to fill these walls with memories and make this house a place to call home.

Unable to fight the grin spreading across his face, Bucky picks you up and swings you around in a circle. “Welcome home, sweetheart,” he breathes.

Bucky loses track of how many times he stands corrected, as the years go by. Day after day, he smiles until his cheeks hurt and laughs until his sides ache. The years are filled with birthdays and babies, missions and milestones, ups and downs. He watches his children go to school, grow up, get married, have lives — take on the world like they were made of gold dust and vibranium.

“What a life, huh sweetheart?” Bucky asks softly, as another chapter comes to its end.

Time has a funny way of slipping by in the blink of an eye, he’s noticed. Many things have changed over the years, but the one faithful, unshakeable constant he’s held onto is his love for you.

Bucky thinks of this as the two of you lie tangled up on the sofa, your body slotted between Bucky’s legs, your cheek pressed to his chest and his chin resting on top of your head.

“Yeah, honey. What a life,” you murmur, as you slip your fingers underneath the hem of his t-shirt, splaying them across the small of his back. “A crazy, wild, tumultuous, messy life.”

You pause to pull away from him, sitting up a little and craning your head back to look into his eyes. “But worth it all?” you ask.

Bucky grins, feels that joyous fluttering in his heart as he leans forward and presses a kiss to your lips. “Yeah, my gorgeous. It’s all been worth it.”

End A/N: Am I bawling my eyes out? You betcha :’)))

[nhlhoser]

On The Rocks - 17

Part 16   Masterlist

word count: 1976

minor swearing

"What the fuck happened to your face?".

"Mitch! That's not how you greet people," Stephanie scolded from the couch to boyfriend just coming down stairs still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Something fell from a shelf in my closet and I thought it'd be a great idea to catch it with my face," I lied but my responds dripping in sarcasm as my face is it's usual bitchy self.

"Yeah, I at least said hi first," Morgan chirped from his spot in front me on the massage stool, my fingers digging into the tense muscles of his shoulders and back.

Morgan did at least say hello first but it was because he wasn't very awake, holding on the coffee and food he brought with a vice grip. It wasn't until we stuffed our face with fruits, breakfast sandwiches and downed strong coffee did he asked the same thing Mitch did and got the same sarcastic answer.

The morning wasn't much different than other game days but the undeniable tension of tonight's game was thick in the room.

Mitch was going through his routine with visibly more jitters as his hands slightly shake well opening the container of protein or they way his bottom lip now holds permanent residency between his teeth as he nervously nibbles the already raw flesh.

As for Morgan his muscles are taking some extra effort into releasing any stress and me telling him to relax if he wants massage to do anything for him. Everything time I go to say I'm down he stops me and says different spot needs my attention. All I could do is roll my eyes an oblige, even though my hand are starting to cramp.

"Oh babe, you're bleeding!"

Mitch had managed to bite his lip so much, he broke the skin of lip resulting in a steady stream of red down his chin. Stephanie is quick to whip away the blood with a tissue from the coffee table.

"I get that you're nervous but you can't let it do this to you, babe," Steph spoke softly as she swabbed the blood from his face. her own face screw up with worry, her brows and lips tilted down as her eyes intense yet soft as she cares for her boyfriend, Who's face matches hers but his eyes hold his love for her.

"First aid kit is...in the laundry room?" Steph questioned pulling mitch up from the couch even though he it able bodied not dead.

"Yeah, middle shelf I think or it's in the washroom if it's not there," I couldn't exactly recall where I left it last. Steph pulled hey boy into the laundry room now out of sight but not earshot, could still hear Stephanie's reassuring words and coo's as she cared for her 19 year old boyfriend like a wounded pet.

"The anxiety is real," Mo whispered so quietly I wasn't sure if he was even talking to me or just himself. He took a deep breath before continuing. "My first instinct is to chirp for being fucking human. How fucked is that?" Morgan shook his head in what I assume is shame.

"Pretty fucked because you're all in the same boat," I quirked adding to his confession with him as I finished up with the last knot in his back before my cramps and I step away from the stool now trying to massage my own knots.

"He's my rookie, I should be building him up. Let's be real here we can't do anything without our rookies," Morgan vented pausing to pull on his shirt over his head. "I mean their skill as they also make up majority of the roaster," He noted his tone lighter than his facial expression. We move to the kitchen, Morgan sat on stool at the island counter putting his head in his hands as I washed the massage oil from my hands.

"Do you think it'd be easier for them if they knew we were scared too, because I am." He raised his head as I flick water at him catching him in the face- his unamused face.

"You weren't suppose to lift your head," I defend turning off the tap but all he could do is roll his eyes. "But yeah that would probably help more than they even know," grabbing a towel I dried my hands.

"I'll talk to the A's and we'll probably do some heart felt speech," Morgan pulled out his phone and started texting rapidly.

"You could also maybe one on one. Make it more personal, like you actually care,"

"Yes, great idea!" His fingers fly across the glass of his iPhone so quick and aggressively, I am slight convinced he might break the glass.

"You could start now.... Mitch is here and William is upstairs," I suggest gesturing to the stairs and laundry room. Morgan's eyes widen at the information of Will being here.

"Why is Nylander in your bed young Amelia," Morgan wiggled his brows suggestively. Fighting the blush crawling up my chest.

"I never said my room or Bed, Morgan Rielly. He's in the spare room," I smoothly taught him.

"With that said, go see if he's awake yet," I pushed Morgan off the stool and towards the stair, jumpstarting him into a run as he loudly pounds up the stairs.

If William was asleep he's not now.

I leave my place for the ACC before the guys, they got into deep bro talk about their feelings. Walking through the halls the atmosphere is thick with the same unspoken tension as my apartment. Passing staff they spare a grimace that I guess is suppose to resemble a smile, some are busy with whatever they have been tasked with.

Hockey being such a superstitious sport, extra precautions are being put into place to make sure the players routines are undisturbed. Extra security between the lockers rooms and the rest of the building being just one of the many things added. Extra cleaners are cleaning every inch of the arena more than usual.

Getting into the medical office, its shockingly not a clutter mess. It usually looks like a first aid kit threw up in here but today everything is in it place. Still in shock I slowly set my bag on the desk before starting to set up the physio table and setting out the needed tapes, wraps and bandages for the morning. Even thought the leafs roaster is healthy we still got though a lot of medical supplies.

The cleanness lasts about thirty minutes, players start coming into to get treated or taped before the morning skate.

All of them asked the same thing.

'What happened to your face?'

Some more outright and boisterous than others who subtly ask or motion to my face.All getting the same closet story I came up with this morning, earning laughs and shakes of the head -especially the older guys.

"Amelia, you're in the tunnel tonight. It seems to work great last time-Uhm- same stuff as last game," Paul said stuffing the radio with the ear piece into hands before looking up from his clipboard giving me a weird look before motioning to his face with raised brow.

"I won't ask but I'll get you a hat before game time if you'd like," Paul offered to refer to the obvious camera exposure being near the bench, my eyes widen at the realization.

"Please," I breathed as he chuckled before going on about other important details for tonight for an hour before I help the rest of the medical staff with tape and bandaging as well as my own things, massaging tense muscles and knots from backs, necks and various body parts that belong to restless hockey players.

Couple hours later when I finally take a break, I plop onto the office chair in front a computer in the office. Taking out my phone from my bag, I have a text from Steph.

'Early Dinner/ late lunch without hockey?' -Steph

'Yes. Please.'

"This amount of testosterone is going to suffocate me!!!'

I chuckle as I pressed send on my lame joke. Dropping my phone into my lap I lean back in the office chair cracking my knuckles and wringing out the cramps in my hand muscles and up my arms.

"Oh who you texting?" Came the soft deep tone of the Dutch goalie. Unawaringly scaring me in the process, jutting me forward knocking my phone to the floor as I spun around to the door to see him lean against the door frame with a smirk, his eyes drop to my nose before returning to my eye but doesn't comment.

"You are way too light on your feet for your size, Freddie," I jokingly scold. "But Stephanie is the answer to your question," the ginger goaltender scoffs at the mention of his size.

"Are you calling me fat?" He fake gasped.

"Totally," I rolled my eyes before picking my phone up and sending Steph the time I'll be home, Returning my attention to Freddie he's still smirking.

"You ready Freddie?" I teased but his smirk dropped as he breathes out.

"Absolutely not," He confessed closing his eyes with a wince and sigh.

"You wanna talk?" My face mimicking his frown and brows creased in worry.

"Kind of but not really. I am nervous but I'm excited," A small smile creeps on both our face at the affirmation of positively.

"But I feel like I'm not allowed to be as scared as I am," swiping his hand through his ginger locks with a sarcastic laugh.

I am stunned at his words.

"I know I project myself as this person void of emotions but honestly, sometimes I want to be expressive but it's hard. Sometimes my English isn't strong enough to express myself when I am feeling too many things," His posture slack against the frame as his eyes are trained on the floor between us.

"and you can't all of sudden be expressive because then the media will go fucking nuts," I noted mulling over some of his words also taking in how his accent gets thicker with the more he talks. The goalie chuckles at my swearing.

"Yeah, pretty much," now making eye contact as my brain processes.

"You know you don't have to go out declaring your emotions but if bottling them up makes you feel suffocated, It seems one on one is more than enough for you," I paused trying to think of some form of plausible solution for him.

"You could just find couple people you trust and be as expressive as you wish them," I shrugged.

"That's why I am here, Amelia," My eyes widen as thing start turning in my head.

"But-I'm flatter, yes- but you just met me?" I said dully.

"I've seen how you interact with everyone enough to know I can trust you with something as trivial as emotions and I am kind of going on instinct here, should I not trust you?" His tone teasing but serious about his words.

"Well, I guess I have no choice but to be your emotional advisor,"

"You got that right, Darlin" Both broke into fits at his bad attempt at a southern accent.

"I will listen as long as you never ever do that again," I half joked, sticking my hand out for a shake, as he grasped my hand he pulled me from my chair and into a hug.

"Deal," He said pulling away from a beat later.

"With that all being said, I hope you get some rest before the game as I have a dinner date with Mitch's Girlfriend to get to," On cue, I felt my stomach grumble in need for sustenance. As quietly he arrived, he left when I turned around to gather the rest of my things.

Hockey free food sounds so good.

NEXT

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day!

I looove reading fanfics. There are soo many talented people out there and I am sure I am forgetting some but this is my way of trying to remind y’all how amazing you are and how much I appriciate all the hard work that goes into every single fic!

One Shots

Unsteady (Dean x Reader) by @torn-and-frayed 

This one shot is so amazing it made me cry and that rarely happens. Especially with one shot. Steph is one of the best Dean writers out there and this is just perfection!

Free  (Dean x Reader) by @torn-and-frayed​

I hate you for making me love this!!!

In My Veins  (Dean x Reader) by @torn-and-frayed​ 

Again heartbreakingly beautiful. Angst is an amazing skill and Steph master it to perfection!  

For Fucks Sake, Jared (Jensen x Reader) by @jayankles 

LMAO interrupting Jared is one of my fav Jareds :D

Father’s Day Surprises (Misha x Reader) by @the-awkward-writer

I love Misha. And daddy!Misha... kill me now. Misha is an amazing parent and I love seeing fics that celebrate that.

Babe, where’s my razor? (Dean x Reader) by @thevioletthourr

Who wouldn’t hide Dean’s razor if they had the chance too?!

Sixty Seconds (Dean x Reader) by @thevioletthourr

This fic is written in a way you know something is coming as soon as you start reading. Doesn’t hurt any freaking less when you are hit with it!

Forever Young (Dean x Reader) by @thevioletthourr

Not gonna lie! This one will freaking hurt but it is so beautifully written.

I’m Yours (Dean x Reader) by @deanssweetheart23

This is probably my all time fav one shot. I have read it 5 times and everytime it makes me feel better!

Something Stupid (Like I Love You) (Dean x Reader) by @deanssweetheart23

Jealous Dean but in the possible way. Such an underrated writer. Go check her out!

Austin (Jared x Reader) by @impalaimagining

Based on one of my fav songs and the story did not dissappoint me one bit :D

You’re My Home (Jared x Reader) by @impalaimagining

Probably my favorite Jared one shot!

The Way You Look Tonight (Jensen x Reader) by @impalaimagining

Gah it is just sooooo cute!

You Promised Me Forever (Dean x Reader) by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

This can be summed up in whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!

Flowers on Your Grave (Dean x Reader) by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

QUIT BEING MEAN TO DEAN AND MAKE ME LOVE IT!

Suck it, Cupid (Sam x Reader) by @winchesterprincessbride

Hands down my fav Sam writer and this is just soooo cute!

Martha Stewart Has Left the Bunker (Sam x Reader) by @winchesterprincessbride

Probably the only writer that can make me wanna smack Dean and kiss Sam :P

Broken (Dean x Reader) by @percywinchester27

OUCH!! But it is so real and as so amazing. Read the warnings before you read though!

Dee (Dean x Reader) by @percywinchester27 

Sooo many brother and Dean feels!!!

Constellation (Dean x Reader) by @percywinchester27

Everytime I feel bad I read this and I feel better right away!

Against All Odds (Destiel) by @impala-dreamer

Ouch! It hurts so good!

You Should Join Me (Dean x Reader) by @impala-dreamer

YAS PLEASE!! You read my mind on this Beka!

She Waits (Chuck x Reader) by  @mysupernaturalfics

I rarely read Chuck but this is sooo damn beautiful and I adore this song!

Amazing Grace (How Sweet The Sound) (Cas x Reader) by @mysupernaturalfics

Ignore the dorky ass title! This one is hot af!

Whiskey and the Road (Dean x Reader) by @ellen-reincarnated1967

Andi wrote this for one of my challenges. It always stuck with me. It is so damn beautiful

Homeless (Destiel) by @deansleather

Don’t even get me started on this one. I want a series of this one. It is just sooo good. 

Sleeping Positions 101 (Destiel) by @deansleather

So darn cute! I love fluffy destiel :D

I’m In (Dean x Reader) by @deansleather

Dean is the bestest and Maddy is awesome. That’s all :D

The Walk (Misha x Reader) by @curliesallovertheplace

No one fluffs like this girl and I agree with your statement about that gif soo much

Let Me Count The Ways (Dean x Reader) by @bringmesomepie56

Arie always makes me need a Dean!

Concrete Angel (Dean x Reader) by @chaos-and-the-calm67

This will make you cry!

Rumor Has It (Cockles x Reader) by @manawhaat and @mrswhozeewhatsis

Fangirl dream come true right here!

Fools In Love (Jensen x Reader x Danneel) by @manawhaat

My forever favorite poly fic! It is just sooo goood!

Mesmerising things (Misha x Reader) by @adriellej

Miss I can’t write Misha and nails it! I love this fic!

No such thing as too short shorts (Dean x Reader) by @winchesterswoonathon

I couldn’t not add this!! So damn hot!!

Mad World (Misha x Reader) by @blacktithe7

First time she writes Misha and she makes me cry! I don’t know if I should hug her or kill her :P

Hallelujah (Jensen x Reader) by @blacktithe7

Angsty bitch!! OUCH!!!

Barcelona (Dean x Reader) by @pinknerdpanda

I love this. We all say things without thinking sometimes but not all are as good as making up for them as Dean. 

Series

Send the Pain Below Series Masterlist (Jensen x Reader) by @torn-and-frayed

Will probably always be one of my fav Jensen series. It is sooo good and real. I wanted to hug everyone and slap most through this. And this reader is so amazing. So is Jensen but I am biast there :P

With All My Heart (Jensen x Reader) by @torn-and-frayed

I so regret the way I phrased this request! But I will never regret making it :D

First Degree Burns (Dean x Reader) by @jayankles

Firefighter Dean is a weakness of mine! And Dean with a kid does not help!

Daddy’s Nugget (Dean x Reader) by @jayankles

Again Daddy Dean is a huuuge weakness and Lizzie is adorable!

Across the Milenia (J2 AU sorta... Not sure what do call the pairing but it is awesome!) by @spncovenverse

J2 fic yes. But the wives are in it and are very much as amazing as in real life! It is a beaufiful story and it has this gorgeous blog dedicated to the story!

The Morning After (Jensen x Reader) by @the-awkward-writer

Sweet and endeering story about how a spur of the moment mariage turns into a real wedding. Love this story!

The Arrangement (Dean x Reader) by @ravengirl94

I devoured this series in one sitting and I was sooo sad when there wasn’t any more parts! But Emily is doing a sequel so YAS!

Hold On, I’m Coming (Dean x Reader) by @ravengirl94

Again firefighter Dean. But more than that... all the little puns to the series. It is just amazing. I love it sooo much! And Dean is perfect so there is that. And a gsd mix!

Unspoken (Jensen x Reader, Jared x Reader) by @wheresthekillswitch

I am routing for Jensen here. Not just cause Jensen but they are perfect together and has been best friends since they were little.

The Falcon and the Wolf Series (Dean x Reader) by @emilywritesaboutdean

LOOOOVE one of my fav movies and Emily’s take on it is soooo good!

With You By My Side (Jensen x Reader) by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

*glares at Ida* I don’t wanna add this cause it cost me sooo much pain but I can’t not add it either!

The Package (Jensen x Reader) by @mrsjohnsmith

I can’t describe how much I am hoping for an update on this one. It is so sweet and good and real and gah

Tic Tac Toe (Sam x Reader) by @percywinchester27

My fav Sam series! I love it so so much I don’t even have words.

Stroke of luck (Dean x Reader) by @percywinchester27

I don’t think reading any series ever made me whine and complain so much. Sorry Ana but I promise you all the whinning means I love it dearly!

Sons of Lawrence (Dean x Reader) by @mrs-squirrel-chester

This series damn near killed me! In the best way possible! Urgh!

Against the Ropes (Dean x Reader) by @mrs-squirrel-chester

I didn’t know I needed a boxer Dean in my life before I read this series and now I want more and I already forced one time stamp out of her ... ;S

Simple Man (Dean x Reader) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

The reader and Dean are both such asses in this. But both has good reason. And I love it.

Crack Under Pressure (Jensen x Reader) by @mysupernaturalfics

This one is so sweet. I love the young love and playful relationship!

Counsel (Sam x Reader) by @mysupernaturalfics

This one will give you a few surprises. And it is soo good!

First Impressions and Second Chances (Misha x Reader) by @ruined-by-destiel

I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this series!

Strictly Professional (Misha x Reader) by @splendidcas 

There is a lack of great Misha series out there so when Shan wrote one I was sooo happy!

Summer Fling (Dean x Reader) by @supernatural-jackles

Pretty sure this is my fav on going series!

Perfect (Jensen x Reader) by @supernatural-jackles

This series has a fitting name. It truly is perfect. Even if Y/N and Jensen are a couple of dumbasses for not seeing how much they love each other sooner.

A Perfect Storm (Dean x Reader) by @nichelle-my-belle

I got no idea how this is what fell into Nichelle’s head after my request but fuck it is awesome and I will love it forever!

YouTube Sensation (Jensen x Reader) by @bringmesomepie56

Where is the rest of it Arie???!!

A Little Thing Called Love (Jensen x Reader) by @chaos-and-the-calm67

I repeat: Where is the rest of it Bev??

Friendly Neighbor (Dean x Reader) by @ilostmyshoe-79

One of the first fanfics I read! And I still adore it!

Singer’s Automotive (Dean x Reader) by @ilostmyshoe-79

As a Dean girl with a very soft spot for Cas you really put me through the ringer on this one!

Neighborhood Connections (Destiel) by @i-dont-know-how-to-write

I really hope this will continue at some point cause I need to know things :D

Hearts Wide Open (Jensen x Reader) by @d-s-winchester

An Amazing summer series. 

Just A Little Bit Longer (Jensen x Reader) by @jalove-wecallhimdean

My dream vacation right here!

Someone to Watch Over Me (Dean x Reader) by @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog

I was on the edge of my seat all the way through! So damn good!

An Unassuming Life (Dean x Reader) by @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog

I love domestic Dean and I love Mimi’s writing so this was a huge win!

Everything Dean and Donna (Deonna) by @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog

I blame Mimi for shipping these two beauties! I love these fics sooo much!

The Littlest Winchester (Dean x Reader - sorta) by @sophisticated-angel

I adore this collection! Dean is the best daddy ever and his kid is so darn awesome!

Forward (Jensen x Reader) by @blacktithe7

Such a rollercoaster and it give slow burn a new meaning! I love it!

Silk and Rough Velvet by @blacktithe7

My fav Jensen series forever and always! Rockstar!Jensen need I say more?

Prophet City (Dean x Reader) by @winchesterenthusiast

I am obsessed and so patiently waiting for more :D

Unexpectedly (Dean x Reader) by @winchesterenthusiast

Soooo cute. I love it and I want more :D

Daddy!Samverse (Sam x Reader) by @teamfreewill-imagine

Yaaaas that is as cute as it sounds and it has uncle cas and dean too!

Soft Hair and Single (Jensen x Reader) by @teamfreewill-imagine

I love this series. Danneel positivity and a cutie patotie JJ :D 

12 Dates of Christmas/True Fluff Series (Dean x Reader) by @iwantthedean

Fluffy perfection right here!

Out of the Park (Jensen x Reader) by @iwantthedean

Just imagine Jensen in that ball cap and all gruff! GAH I miss this series!

Behind the Story (Jensen x Reader) by @sleepywinchester

I am obsessed! Like really. Twitter updates gives me life!

Written on the Wrist (Dean x Reader) by @angelkurenai

This is so unique and wonderful. I don’t read soulmate AUs but I love this one so much!

Friends After All (Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader) by @angelkurenai

Again I don’t really like triangle but this one is beyond amazing. Will forever be one of my fav series!

The Future Series (Jensen x Reader) by @one-shots-supernatural

I love this series so much even if it made me cry recently! And I love Kayla worked in CM :D

A New Roommate (Dean x Reader) by @one-shots-supernatural

Dean is perfect! And I adore the readers angelic family :D

Love & War (Dean x Reader) by @winchester-writes

Gaaah I love Dean in historical pieces. This is just sooo good and sweet!

Waimea (Dean x Reader) by @manawhaat

This series is so beautifully written you feel as if you are on the beach with them

NOT SPN FICS

The Pretzels  (Steve Rogers x Reader) by @jayankles

Sooo cute and hot. What a view to walk in on!

Stay Alive (Tom Hiddleston x Reader) by @pastapizzacheesedragon

Prepare to get your heart ripped out and stomped on!

Postcards (Bucky x Reader) by @sebbytrash

So sweet it will make your teeth fall out!

Drinking Games (Chris x Reader x Seb) by @emilyevanston

I blame Katie and this fic for my new obsession with poly!

The Boy Next Door (Chris x Reader) by @emilyevanston

Don’t act so surprised Katie! You knew this would be on here! :D

Sleeping Angel On The London Tube (Kit Harington x Reader) by @kitharingtonfanfiction

My cheeks still hurt from smiling :D

Your Wildest Dreams (Jensen x Reader x Chris) by @blacktithe7

Not sure where to put this one, but read it. It is a dream come true!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hiya steph! any fics with our favourite duo having an argument/fight? bonus points if they’re injured/sick or smth! tysm! ☺️☺️

Hi Nonny!

Ahhh, I was gonna link you to a part 1 list I have for a related topic, but I double checked and saw that I have enough fics to make a part 2 short list for you! So YAY! Hope you find something you like!!

ARGUMENTS LEAD TO CONFESSIONS Pt. 2

See also: Arguments Lead to Confessions

Closeted by Sexxica (E, 2,762 w., 1 Ch. || Trapped in a Closet, Panicking Sherlock, Hand Jobs, Coming in Pants, Awkward Conversations, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluffy Ending) – An improvised hiding spot and a bit of accidental voyeurism leave John and Sherlock in an awkward position.

Sometimes When We Touch by kedgeree (M, 7,755 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Kiss/Time, Inappropriate Giggling, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Virgin Sherlock, John Whump, Touching) – John might be touching Sherlock a little more often than is strictly necessary. Sherlock probably hasn't even noticed. Right...?

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, 21,691 w., 13 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Texting, Humour, Post-TRF, Awkward Romance, Idiots in Love) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,256 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK]

It took me all night to stop feeling embarrassed about the scene Knives caused. Maybe deep down, I really did feel flattered that she cared this much, but it was buried under so much shame and annoyance that I couldn't even feel it accurately. Where did she get off inserting herself into my life as some weird kind of protector? Especially since I didn't need any protecting. At all. That was just some random crap I made up to make it clear that I wasn't interested in her hanging around and making me feel better. Not my fault she was too dense to realise.

A few days later, I saw her again. Just enough time to forget that the whole incident happened before I was freshly reminded because she came barging back into my life. Great.

"Are you stalking me?"

"What?" Knives asked, trying to casually drop down from the tree branch. She landed with a quiet tmp against the little patch of grass around the trunk, a would-be innocent smile playing across her lips. "Noooo… not at all."

"Because it feels like you're stalking me. And what's with that?"

"Nothing!" Her hand whipped to one side, throwing the binoculars so hard that they disappeared into the sky with a brief gleam. "Nobody was watching you since you left the house this morning, don't be silly!"

Sighing, I continued walking down the pavement. She kept pace with me; now that I'd found her out, apparently she had decided there was no point in keeping a low profile anymore. My hands clenched into fists in my hoodie pockets. "Fine. What do you want?"

"Well… I'm trying to do surveillance."

"Yeah, I got that."

"For the challenges? You know… see if I can tell from the outside anything more about what I'll face on the inside. So far, nothing obvious. But I wanna be ready!"

"For the imaginary challenges? Wow, quelle surprise."

"Are they imaginary though?" she breathed with a slight squinting of her eyes.

"Dude… you are so weird." For some reason, that made her grin at me, and I rolled my eyes. Didn't seem to be any point in trying to get rid of her anymore, so I just said, "I'm going to work. You won't have anything to do there but watch me watch old movies."

"I love old movies! Like, like… the first Harry Potter!"

Inwardly, I died a little.

                                                      ~ o ~

This manic chick actually came with me to the video rental store. I shouldn't have to tell you that in this millennium, especially after the first decade of it, there's really no point in even having a video rental store anymore, so we had no customers. It was literally hours of sitting around and watching movie after movie, while maybe one guy came in and asked where 'the good stuff' was kept. My glare sent him packing.

"So was it that bad wherever you went for uni that you ended up slumming it back here again?"

"Not bad," Knives told me as she sat on the counter, spinning the orange she had gotten from a convenience store on the way in her hands. It was the last thing either of us had to eat after we made our way through some cheesy Nineties rom-com. "Just not home. Toronto is just, you know? Like… everything's so cool here."

"Yeah, it's freezing."

"Not right now. Summer in Toronto is like, the best. Plus my friend Tamara lives here, I was hoping I'd see her."

There was something about how genuine Knives was that reminded me of Scott when we first met. That could probably play a role in why they were attracted to each other in the first place, and I might be more certain of that if I were some kind of TV pop-psychologist. As in, Scott saw something of his younger self in Knives, the way he was before he broke my heart and Envy broke his in turn. Yadda yadda.

Maybe that's why I hadn't thrown her out yet. Nostalgia.

"Kim?"

"What?" I snapped, since I had been snapped out of my stupor.

"The movie's over."

"Oh…" Ducking my head, I reached over to pull the DVD of 'The Mystical Head' out of the player. "Shit…"

Head tilted to one side, Knives asked me, "What would you be watching if you had to pick? Right now?"

"Zombie Corpse Mutilator IV: The Zombining."

"Really? Is it any good? I don't watch very many scary movies…"

With a long sigh, I stood up and stretched my arms over my head. Knives tried to balance the orange on the bridge of her nose, failed, and caught it before it fell very far. "You probably just want me to put on some drivel like 'Let's Hope There's A Heaven,' don't you?"

"No," she laughed easily. "What about… 'Seven Shaolin Masters'? I like action, but not like, just a bunch of stuff blowing up. And I heard that one's supposed to be pretty authentic, it was done by a Chinese director."

The way she looked all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed reminded me of a squirrel spotting a nut it hadn't cracked yet. Maybe I was the nut. Who knows? But for some reason, her excitement and complete disregard of whether or not I crapped all over her good mood was getting past my defenses. So much so that I said…

"Sure. Think we have a few copies."

We watched it. Not a bad flick. I guess I like it about as much as I like anything, really. Not high praise, but you get the picture. Knives was eating it up. Really… the weirdest part is that she never complained about having to sit there on the counter, just hopped down once in a while to stretch her legs and lean against it instead. Like we had been doing this for years: her coming to hang out with me while I 'worked'. Felt like the plot of some low-budget indie film, shot in black-and-white to be 'ironic'.

About halfway through, she did go to the lavatory, and when she came back she stayed behind the counter. I started to tell her she wasn't allowed, but decided I didn't care enough. Maybe I'm getting soft at the ripe old age of twenty-four.

"Hey," I suddenly asked, during a boring part in which the main character was meditating.

"Hm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Watching a movie."

"No… I mean like, going to uni. What's your whole deal?" I cringed; that was a pretty crappy way to ask the question. But, as usual, Knives didn't seem to mind.

"Not really sure. Just want to figure out what I'm doing. My mom wants me to be a doctor, but that is so not happening. Like… I kinda want to found a martial arts school. Super cliché, but I've never really been good at anything else, except fangirling. Which isn't really a 'job' I can get."

"Sure you could. Rent yourself out as a professional fangirl."

Her eyes went round. "You can do that?!" But for once, she seemed to get that I was teasing and smiled. "Aww, silly Kim. But… actually I wonder if there'd be any interest in it… maybe I could start a whole new thing!"

"Weirdo."

"What about you?"

That caught me off guard. "Huh? I'm a drummer."

"Yeah, but you aren't really in a band right now, right? You said you and Neil's sister are just kind of trying stuff."

"It's none of your-" But I cut myself off. This wasn't an interrogation, and Knives wasn't trying to pry. Wasn't trying to. "I just… am trying to figure that out. My life got kicked in the butt by a few events and I need a rebuilding year."

"But it's already been a year since your last band-"

"Knives…"

She fell silent, turning away to finish the movie. She looked guilty, which wasn't really what I wanted; I just wanted her to take the hint that it's not the most fun subject to bring up for me right now. But I didn't know how to tell her that without getting all sappy and feelsy, so I didn't try.

When Comeau came in to relieve me, we split, and she followed along behind like a good puppy. A good stray puppy. One I never wanted, but for some reason, I didn't mind her there. We did start getting along toward the end of Sex Bob-omb's career, I guess.

"You wanna get some food? It's about dinner time. Or you probably have plans, huh?"

Shrugging, I managed to mutter, "Eh." I didn't have any plans. I never had many plans anymore; met up with Stephen once a week, or less. Steph wasn't so much a friend as a colleague… which I guess was where both of them stood with me. Where did everybody go?

"Cool. Wanna get Sneaky Dee's?"

"Ugh… too noisy. Not in the mood."

"Poutine? Sushi?"

I started to make a very vaguely racist joke about sushi being the wrong food for her, but decided it would be more hurtful than funny. Especially to Knives, who only seemed to get the most obvious jokes. "Poutine works. I could use some gravy-laden goodness."

"Cool. Let's do it!"

She skipped off down the path, hair bouncing on the breeze. I didn't notice before that she was still keeping it short, I was so focused on the fact that she stopped dyeing it in the front. Kind of a compromise between who she had been before Scott and who she was after, maybe.

Not that I knew why I was noticing now. I must really have been bored. "Wait up, you dumbass," I grumbled under my breath as I trudged after her.

                                                      ~ o ~

Somehow, grabbing dinner with this almost-a-stranger was fine. She gushed about college life, about some group of friends she found online and really connected with or whatever. I was only half paying attention while I chewed. Between bites she was drinking a ginger ale, and kept setting it down so hard that a few droplets would fly up and land on the table, or even on her face. That annoyed me, but it was also kind of… cute somehow. Maybe I needed therapy.

Once we finished up, we walked to the bus stop that would take her back in the direction of her house. It was awkward. There was no real reason for it to be awkward but it was; she looked down at her boots, rocking back and forth with her hands in the small of her back.

"U-um… do you mind if I drop by more? You seemed kind of unhappy to see me at first. If you really want me to leave you alone forever…"

"Yes. I do."

"Okay. S-sorry, Kim."

Now I felt like I was kicking a puppy. She wasn't really that bad; I just hated being forced to endure the company of anyone besides myself and my inner demons. "Ugh… just don't make a big deal about it, and shut up if we get too busy, alright? God."

Her mopey face turned into a wide smile over the course of the following five seconds. "YAY!" No seriously, she said 'yay'. And meant it. What the fuck was she even? Her arms sprang forward, and before I could tell what was about to happen, she had me caught in a crushing hug.

"Let GO. Dude, seriously! Off!"

"I'll see you tomorrow! Oh man, this is gonna be a great summer!" Without any further ado, she pranced over to the bus stop, walking backward so she could wave at me the entire time. Anybody could have predicted that she would trip over the old man's dachshund, but she picked herself up right away with a light giggle, apologising to both of them before waving again.

Our definitions of "great summer" don't have much overlap.

                                                       To Be Continued…

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Catching Feelings 6/? (Keanu x OFC)

Summary: AU in which Keanu is down on his luck after he comes to  Hollywood trying to be an actor. To earn some money, he joins this app for   escorts and meets Steph, a rising star who hires him to try to forget   her ex. Neither of them are expecting to fall in love and all the problems it brings. (Previous parts: 1 2 3 4 5)

Author’s Notes: Another week, another chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it and as always, feedback is appreciated.

Wordcount: 3375

Warnings: smutish (dirty talk; powerplay; choking; lots and lots of teasing)

Keanu blinked blearily and confused as he looked around his room, trying to figure out what had woken him up this early. His brain was still dazed, his movements sluggish as he followed the noise, hand finally landing on his cellphone which had found its way under the bed somehow.

The sight of Steph’s name flashing across the screen finally kickstarted his brain and he rushed to answer the call, getting caught in a yawn as the facetime call connected.

“Shit! I woke you up. I’m sorry.” She winced, her tone apologetic and he smiled, waving off her apologies.

“It’s fine,” Keanu replied, voice still thick with sleep as he settled back on the pillows. “I needed to get up anyway.”

When Keanu had left Steph’s house the night he went to pick up his bike, he once again thought that would be the end of this thing they had. He hated himself for walking away, even after she cleared up the entire thing with Kevin, but he really thought it would be for the best.

He was falling in love with her way too hard and that was a problem. She was his client and nothing more. Or at least that was what Keanu tried to tell himself until the night he got home after a meeting a client and found a voicemail from Steph. He had no idea how she got her number, but her ramblings on how much she missed him warmed his heart, right until the part the call disconnected suddenly, and Keanu was left wondering if Steph was alright.

Panic only grew when she didn’t reply to his calls or texts and he was already looking up ways to find out where she was staying when Steph finally called back, letting him know she was fine. There were a handful of times Keanu felt that kind of sheer relief in his life and all of them associated with people he loved with all his heart. As if he needed any more proof of his own feelings. The ones he was running from for the past two months.

However, Keanu decided he was done running and that was what made him call her again later. To make sure she was feeling better and make it clear that what he had with her, it wasn’t something he did with just anyone. Keanu might be an escort, but not all money in the world could make him care for someone as he cared for her and he needed Steph to know that.

Admitting to it was liberating and the facetime calls became a routine for them. At least once a day they would talk, share about their day; chat about stupid things, everything and nothing and all in between.

Steph would send random texts throughout the day, pictures of stuff she thought he would find funny. While Keanu would send the things about home he knew she loved and missed.

It was a very welcome change in their… relationship? Friendship?  Keanu had no idea how to call it, but for the first time, he knew it was completely real. There was no money involved. No strings attached, no confusion due to sex. Though he really missed the mind-blowing sex they had, strangely enough, a month of this, talking every day and joking and trying to watch Netflix together even though there were an ocean and several timezones separating them and Steph seemed to have zero self-control and would always watch an episode or two without him was proving to be even more fulfilling. Even if it meant waking up at crack of dawn to talk to Steph when she was coming back from a whole day of shooting like she was now.

Keanu took a moment to really look at her, drinking the sight of her, no makeup, her hair pulled up and away from her face with the exception of a lock of hair that must have gotten loose and was falling over her big brown eyes. To him, she would never look more beautiful and Keanu felt the proverbial butterflies on his stomach as he watched her.

“You look tired,” Steph commented, disappearing off-screen a second before two soft thuds reached his ears. Probably her boots hitting the carpeted floor. “Long night?”

“Yeah. Got home around 2 a.m.,” Keanu said, scratching his five o’clock shadow. He had been toying with the idea of growing a beard, but Mike, their producer, shot the idea down. It wasn’t the look they were going for.

Steph only hummed noncommittally, her brow furrowing ever so slightly as she looked away and Keanu smirked, his heart picking up speed because he knew that look very well. He spotted that look several times through the last few weeks whenever any magazine or gossip site splashed pictures of Steph and her handsome co-star along with rumors of them dating.

“Dogstar had a gig,” he explained, making her look up startled. “Our first paying one. I mean, it barely covered gas, but still…”

“That’s amazing, Ke!” Her grin was blinding, and his heart did a little flip in his chest. He was head over heels of this woman and there was no point in denying anymore. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks,” he replied, ducking his head a little as he felt his cheeks warm. “Maybe you can come to one of them when you get back.”

“I’d love to,” Steph grinned, picking up the phone and moving through the room. The image shook for a bit before it stabilized again and Keanu could no longer see her, only the white tiles of the bathroom. “We still have another month to go. Next week we’re flying back to Paris for some additional scenes. I’ve always wanted to spend my birthday there, but I didn’t think I’d be alone.”

“Where are you?” Keanu asked, scanning the frame, hearing her giggle before her face showed up again, but sideways.

“I’m changing,” she replied.

“So? Nothing I haven’t seen before,” Keanu pointed out with a smirk and Steph rolled her eyes but came fully into view.

She had taken her sweater off and stood there in jeans and her bra and Keanu could already feel his body responding to the sight of all her gorgeous skin. Her hands fell to her buttons, undoing them so damn slowly he wished he could push them away and do it himself.

Steph turned her back on him before pushing the jeans down, actually giving her ass a little wiggle to shimmy out of them and Keanu groaned, his boxers tight over his growing erection.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” he complained, rubbing himself and she had the gall to look over her shoulder with her best ‘who? Me?’ look, complete with that big doe eyes and pout and Keanu chuckled. “You were saying something about your birthday.”

“Yeah,” she said, her expression softening a little as she sat on the edge of the tub and turned the faucet on. “It’s the big three-oh and I’ll be here all by myself.” Steph shrugged. “I mean, sure Vincent is taking me to dinner and I appreciate it, but none of my friends will be here. The real ones at least…”

Keanu bit his cheek to keep himself from reacting to the mention of Vincent. It wasn’t that he was jealous, he just… Who was he kidding? It was exactly because he was jealous, but it wasn’t enough to divert his attention from what really mattered. How sad she looked at the prospect of spending her birthday without her true friends.

“When is it again?” he asked, an idea popping in his head. A terrible, unbelievably crazy idea.

---

Keanu paced the room with quick steps, desperately needing to work out some of the nervous energy thrumming through his body and movement had always been the way he did it. Be it by waving his hands around when he was speaking or bouncing his knee or walking around.

Moving his body always had a soothing effect in his mind for some reason and tonight he needed all his strategies to calm himself because if this crazy plan of his backfired, Keanu really didn’t know what he would do.

He had always been an impulsive guy, making decisions without thinking them through. It was what took him to Los Angeles; it was what almost killed him in that mountainside years ago. And now it was what could completely ruin the best relationship Keanu had in a long time.

What if Steph didn’t like the surprise? What if she thought he was crazy for flying all the way to Paris on her birthday without telling her? Yes, she said she wished her real friends could be here to celebrate with her, but it was Keanu who assumed he was included in that category. What if he was wrong? What if he was in love with her, but she wasn’t? What if…

The sound of the phone made him jump and Keanu nearly stumbled on his own feet trying to get it, answering with a quick hello.

“I delivered the envelope, Mr. Reeves,” the concierge spoke, his accent thick and making his words almost indecipherable. “She’s on her way up.”

“Thank you.”

His hands shook as he hung up and hurried through the process of lighting up the candles and dimming the lights, before coming to sit on the edge of the bed, fighting off the urge of bouncing his feet as the minutes ticked by with no sign of her. He adjusted his collar, feeling a little breathless.

What if she went to her own room instead? What if she thought it was some kind of mean joke or a trap from the press? What if she didn’t come at all?

Keanu’s heart lunged in his chest at the low chime of the electronic lock and he got to his feet, coming face to face with a stunned Steph. She stood there for a moment, eyes wide, mouth hanging open and he forced a small, awkward smile.

“Happy birthday?” he said with hesitation, wondering if she hated the surprise until her face shifted into a smile and she all but threw herself on his arms.

Keanu breathed out a sigh of relief, cradling her close to his body, nose buried into her head, breathing in the familiar scent of strawberries. He missed her more than he first realized.

“I thought maybe…” she started, pulling back a little and looking at Keanu with eyes full of wonder and affection. “When you asked me about my birthday, but you didn’t say anything else, I thought it was just wishful thinking, but you’re here.”

“Yeah,” Keanu smiled, resting his forehead against hers. “Is that ok?”

“It’s the best birthday present I could hope for,” Steph said, her lips pulling into a grin. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

Keanu cupped her cheek, tracing her face with his thumb, almost as if trying to recommit her features to memory. It wasn’t the same, seeing her through facetime. It didn’t do her justice.

Her hands crossed behind his neck, fingers playing with his hair, massaging his scalp and Keanu tried not to tense as they came way too close to his secret, but since she didn’t seem to notice, he just sighed happily, leaning into the touch for a second, before bending his head and meeting her lips for a kiss, something he was longing for weeks.

Their lips molded perfectly together, finding their rhythm with barely any effort; their tongues moving against one another, tasting and exploring, relearning each other as their hands found their way under their clothes, searching warm skin and familiar curves.

Keanu struggled to get her out of her coat and scarf while her hand moved over his crotch, rubbing him through his jeans and groaned against her lips, getting lost in the feel of it before pulling back and catching her hand.

“I’ve got you a cake,” he announced, and Steph chuckled and nodded, letting Keanu move away from her and lead the way to the table.

Her small gasp at the sight of the black forest mini cake made Keanu grin proudly as Steph glanced from the sugary treat and back at him.

“How did you know it was my favorite?” she asked, and he just shrugged, trying for nonchalant, but feeling so stupidly happy for having put that happy smile on her face. He had googled it like a stalker, but her expression was definitely worth it.

He pulled a chair out for her with one hand, while the other dug through his pocket for the candle and lighter. To Keanu’s surprise, Steph pushed him on the seat and got on his lap, making sure to squirm and wiggle over his cock, dragging out a grunt from him.

“Fucking tease,” he complained, making her chuckle.

“Careful there, Ke. If you keep using that kinda language, I’ll have to gag you,” Steph warned, giving him a sideways smirk. “Or maybe just put that mouth to better use.”

“Cake first” Keanu reminded, arms coming around her to set the candle between the two decorative cherries before lighting it up. “Then you can tie me and gag me and whatever else you want.”

“Is that a promise?” Steph asked her voice low, sounding almost dangerous as she turned sideways on his lap so she could look at him and Keanu gulped, a shiver running down his spine at the look in her eyes.

“Yes,” he replied, meeting her gaze.

Had any woman ever made him feel like this before? Get him this hot and horny with just one look and a couple of suggestive words? Keanu was pretty sure the answer to that was a no. Steph had just a way of turning him on or making him learn things about himself that he never thought it would be possible. It was liberating and that was why he got her that present in the first place. If it wasn’t for Steph, Keanu would never know how much he wanted to try that with her.

At last, Steph turned her attention to the cake in front of her, arching her eyebrow at him Keanu and with a small blush, he sang her happy birthday, his voice low and unsteady. He had no idea why he felt shy about that, but he did.

“You’ve got a nice voice, babe,” she said kissing his cheek.

“I really don’t.” Keanu ducked his head and chuckle. “Anyway, make a wish.”

There was a moment of silence and Steph leaned over, blowing the candle, before turning on Keanu’s lap until she was straddling him and catching his lips in a hungry kiss, rolling her hips tantalizingly and he moaned against her mouth, his cock throbbing and pulsing in his jeans.

“Aren’t you…?”

“Later,” she cut him off, lips traveling over his jaw until she caught his earlobe between them, sucking lightly and pleasure shot through Keanu, his hands tightening over her thighs almost at their own accord. “Right now, I just you to fuck me.”

Keanu tensed for a second, hesitant and unsure of what he was about to propose. Steph felt it and pulled back, giving him a worried look.

“Something’s wrong?”

“No…” he breathed out, brushing away the hair from her face and pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. “I just… got you something.”

“You didn’t have to, Ke,” she hurried to say, and he thought he saw her flush. “Just the fact that you flew all the way here…”

“I wanted to…” he assured, patting her leg gently so she would stand up and he could move to his suitcase and get it.

Keanu hesitated, back turned to her, box in his hands. He took another breath, before facing Steph again and handing it to her. It was a simple black rectangular box, wrapped with a blue bow. Steph pulled it loose and opened the lid, frowning at its contents.

“A chain?” she asked with a confused frown, looking up at him.

“A-uh leash, actually,” Keanu explained, swallowing hard as he unbuttoned the first couple buttons of his shirt, exposing the leather collar around his neck and Steph gasped, staring at him with wide eyes. “Is this ok?”

“Ke… I…” she stuttered, meeting his gaze again. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, his smile a little hesitant, but very hopeful. “I thought a lot about it and… I never came as hard jerking off as when I was picturing this. I want it.”

She watched him for a moment as if trying to spot a lie in his statement or stance and he fought the urge to squirm under her scrutiny. Keanu knew Steph just wanted to make sure he wasn’t just trying to please her, which he was, to an extent, but this was about him as much as it was about her.

Finally, she moved closer to him, eyes never leaving his as she undid the rest of the buttons and pushed the shirt off his shoulders before caressing his chest, slowly making her way to the black band circling his neck.

Her small fingers ran over the edge gently, before she slipped one finger under the collar, making it tighter and Keanu swallowed hard, shuddering at the feel of it restraining his breathing just a little, making him gasp.

“Oh, babe…” Steph whispered, voice low and sultry as she petted his cheek. “You really like this, huh?”

“Yes, ma’am.” It still amazed Keanu how quickly he slipped into this whenever she used that tone with him. It was almost a pavlovian reaction by now.

“Then who am I to deny you?” she smirked at him, crooking her finger and tugging lightly on the collar and Keanu followed the motion, bending his head closer to her. Being rewarded with a dirty, searing kiss. “Especially when you’ve been such a good boy.”

She let go of him and took a step back, once again just watching him, lip between her teeth, her eyes dark and full of want.

“You look so beautiful like this, Ke,” Steph said, and he felt his cheeks heating up in embarrassment, so he ducked his head, dodging her eyes and shifting in place, hands clasped together in front of his body. “And you’re blushing? That’s so sweet.”

“Please…” his voice was low, pleading.

Not only he didn’t like being complimented like that, but his body felt like was about to combust and he was so hard it was getting painful. He couldn’t wait anymore. Keanu just wanted her. Almost desperately.

She smiled at him and nodded, moving closer once again and turning her back to him, exposing the zipper of her dress.

“Go ahead.”

He pulled it down slowly, the fabric parting to reveal her back and the purple lace of her bra. Keanu pulled the zipper all the way it would go, before pushing the straps of the dress off her shoulders, letting his lips graze over her nape and smiling lightly when goosebumps rose on her skin.

“I don’t remember allowing you to touch,” Steph chided softly, turning around to look at him and Keanu groaned at the sight before him. She was so damn beautiful.

“Sorry ma’am,” he mumbled, head down.

“No, you’re not.” She smirked.

She grabbed the chain from the box, before clasping it on the metal link on the collar and tugging on it tentatively. Keanu gasped and moaned at the feel of it, the way it tightened and led his movements. His cock twisted inside his pants, making his stumble forward even more uncomfortable.

With her free hand, Steph undid his jeans, shoving it down his hips and clicking her tongue at his lack of underwear. Keanu couldn’t care for anything except the relief of finally having his erection free.

“Someone’s eager,” she teased, pulling on the leash again with one hand, while the other stroked his cock and Keanu’s brain short-circuited at the combination of sensations.

Steph swallowed his moans in another kiss before she nipped on his bottom lip and pulled back to look at his dazed, unfocused eyes.

“This is gonna be fun.”

xx(tbc) xxx

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