#but for both that one and raw the second one theyre really nice almost-last shots

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

[yikesharringrove]

trans gal stevie coming up! mayhaps? after robin comes out stevie keeps thinking about girls and shit and she realizes that oh shit im not just super into girls; i AM a girl? and she comes out to robin and she helps him with transitioning and theyre still best friends (stevie was nervous to come out bc she was scared robin would think she was trying to get with her? but nope still gay besties!) (and pro tip; dont make stevie's deadname "steve" pls & thx)

“Hey, uh, Robin? Can we talk about something?”

Stevie was whispering to Robin from the breakroom.

“Why are you whispering?”

“It’s um, just come back here.” Robin rolled her eyes, but traipsed past her into the Family Video breakroom.

“What is this about, Dingus?”

“Sorry, I just, I need your advice.” Maybe Robin could see the way she was biting at her lip until it was raw, maybe she could feel the weight in Stevie’s gut. But her face softened, and she sat down at the round table.

“How can I help you?”

“I um, you know when we were talking, and, and you told me about, liking girls, and I explained how I like both, and everything?”

“‘Course. Never gonna forget all that.”

“Well, when I asked you how you, how you knew you liked girls, and you just said that, that you always have, it wasn’t ever something you had to think about, well that’s, um, that’s how I feel about, about-” She took a deep breath.

“Take your time.” Robin had a knack for knowing when to be real, to be serious and kind. She reached out to take Stevie’s hand. “Just breathe. Whatever you want to talk about, don’t force yourself.”

“I’m a girl. It’s like, it’s like what you said. That you’ve just always known. Somewhere inside me, I’ve always known, and a while ago, like a few weeks maybe, I was thinking about that, and I thought, I’ve always known there was something more to me, and I, I started calling myself other names, and, and calling myself a girl, and Robin it was like, it was like coming home.”

Robin’s eyes were wide, her grip still tight on Stevie’s hand.

“And I want to clarify, this isn’t because you shot me down, I’m not trying, trying to like, get with you-”

“Don’t worry about that. I know that’s not what this is.” She was holding on with two hands now. “Thank you so much for telling me. That was really brave. And I believe you, and I see you.”

Stevie let the tension roll out of her shoulders, let herself breathe.

“So, where do we go from here? What do you want me to call you?”

“I um, I think of myself as Stevie.” Robin cracked a smile.

“So you liked the Fleetwood Mac record I gave you?” Stevie flushed.

“You could say that.” She laughed loudly, pulling Stevie in to give her a hug.

-

The two of them began putting away cuts of their Family Video checks each week, stuffing them into a shoebox Robin kept under her bed.

Saving up to get an apartment somewhere, somewhere else.

It was dangerous for Stevie to come out publicly here, dangerous for her to transition, live her life as she was.

So everyday she put up with parents that called her their son, and people around town that still thought of her as someone else.

And it took almost eight months, but they did it, they fucking did it.

They drove to California and didn’t bother looking back once.

-

“Okay.” Robin had Stevie by the wrist.

They had barely been in California for an hour and Robin insisted they go shopping.

She stopped in the dress section, rifling through racks. She pulled out a few selections, muttering to herself.

She held up a pretty light blue dress to Stevie.

“What do you think of this?” Stevie looked at it.

“Yeah that color would be pretty on you.” Robin rolled her eyes dramatically.

“Not for me, Dingus. For you.”

Stevie’s brain shorted out.

“Sorry, what?”

“The whole point of getting the Hell outta dodge was so that you could do this, wear this.” Stevie took the dress in her hand, ran her fingers over the soft linen.

“Get me to a fitting room.” Robin grinned at her.

“Atta girl.”

Stevie had her eyes closed.

She had put the dress on with her back to the mirror.

It’s not like she had never worn a dress before. She used to go through her mother’s closet when she wasn’t home and try things on, and Robin was very open with her own closet, but this is the first dress that would just be Stevie’s.

She opened her eyes.

The dress was simple, but it fit her nice.

It was soft, and wasn’t too short on her long legs.

And she felt fucking beautiful.

“Rob? You wanna see?”

“Of fucking course I wanna see.” Stevie smiled at herself in the mirror one last time before pushing open the curtain.

Robin was waiting for her outside the fitting room. Her eyes brightened.

“Oh Stevie, that’s perfect.” She fussed around with it a bit, adjusting the way it sat on her chest, muttering about need to get you the right underwear.

“I wanna wear it outta the store.” She didn’t really want to go back to her jeans and t-shirt, bought by a mother that still called her the wrong name.

“I mean, we’re getting you a whole new damn wardrobe today. So I don’t see why not.” Robin was leading her through the store, pulling out more outfits, tossing clothes at Stevie until she had a fairly heavy pile in her arms. “We can find you some shoes after this. Some little sandals and bright sneakers and cute heels, all of it.”

Stevie eyed the denim skirt Robin had just thrown down. It was tight.

“Whoa, Robin hold on a sec.” She turned to Stevie, her smile fading a bit. “Look, first of all, I’m already so damn tall, I don’t know if I should wear heels, and second of all, I’m not really comfortable with, with tight stuff until I get on hormones and stuff. Until my body changes more.”

“Well, if you’re uncomfortable with something, then that’s fine. But fuck it! Wear heels if you want to! Some girls are tall. Doesn’t mean they can’t be damn tall.”

“Look, it’s just, I’m worried that people will just, they’ll see this tall chick with no hips and broad fucking shoulders and just, just know.”

“Some girls have broad shoulders. Some girls don’t have hips. Doesn’t mean they’re not beautiful fucking women. And that’s my word as a lesbian.”

Stevie laughed, loud and bright. Robin just threw another jacket on the pile.

“Okay, start trying shit on. I’m gonna raid the lingerie department I read some girls use Spanx to tuck. They said they’re easy to get and hold everything in place really well.” Stevie choked on her laugh.

“Wait, you read?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to come into our makeover montage blind. I found some magazines and newsletters written by transgender women for transgender women. There’s tips and stories, and all kinds of shit in there. You can look through ‘em if you want.”

Stevie was stopped dead in the aisle way.

“You-you did all that, for me?”

“’Course. You’re my best gal.”

Stevie dropped the pile of clothes right on the floor, grabbed Robin and pulled her close.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Hey, I just want you to be happy. Whatever that means.” Stevie released her, swiping quickly at her eyes.

She gathered up the clothes on the floor, following Robin to the lingerie section.

“So, what does it mean? To tuck?”

Robin pulled a rolled up magazine out of her bag, slapping it into Stevie’s chest.

“Read up, Darlin’. I don’t know how helpful I can be with that one.”

[rqs902]

qcyn ep 11 -- can you believe the finale is tomorrow?!?

this whole texting section was so funnyyyy and i will honorably mention yet again that yao chi texting mc jin in english is so sweet

li ronghao torturing xu longhan iS HIALRIOSUS 

 but i also pity the poor child LOOL

wait can we talk about chen tao’s spelling timao LOL

and chen sijian’s face LOLLL

omg yao mingming’s message is so aww... he mentions liking yixing since he debuted in 2012.......

omgggg fjj and wang yi theyre all so cute and screamy and i loveee 

WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LIN MO AND WANG YI’S HAPPY DANCE

oh gosh the8 is really showing us how hard seventeen works to get their choreo super in sync wow they really must work so hard.... wow minghao giving up the center position bc he knows how important this is to these kids... he deserves more recognition as a great mentor wow

oh my goodness.......... li zhenning’s voice shaking as he says to shi mingze “if you can get into top 20, then you’ll have hope” is.... the most heartbreaking......... knowing that shi mingze doesnt.......... they literally were smiling as they went off into this corner to talk and are crying by the time they come out..... can you just imagine how much sadness and stress is constantly looming over these kids’ heads and tearing down at their mental health?? its all hidden and suppressed, but with really fragile borders, so as soon as you pick at the walls, their raw emotions come bursting through... 

this just reminds me that even tho shi mingze is their cool, handsome leader, hes still the youngest in bg project............

can we please talk about how considerate of a friend li zhenning is and has been?? 

and this all took place before zhenning ever ranked into top 9.... so to them, this opportunity wouldve been really important for zhenning too, bc maybe he wouldve really needed it to get into top 9. but at least we know now.... he has enough popularity that they made the correct choice and hopefully more people will notice shi mingze as a result

ZHAN YU’S ARMSSSSSSSSS bo yuan’s hair!! i really like it!!!! wen yechen in pink!!!!!! his voice is so addicting i just wanna hear more of it... it dont matter that zhenning isnt center, he still shines :)) wait wu zelin’s voice i really liked it in retreat and we get even more vocal-like wu zelin here! thats a realy nice purple on qunfeng, hes really rocking this look SHI MINGZE I SAW THAT WINK frick minghao’s dancing is just so satisfying to watch wowow

man he looks so good

wow i live for random zhan yu reactions (imma just collect them here LOL)

after journey and mc jin’s friendship is so cute hahahaha

ok i see why elle thinks chen tao is a visual

wang zhe and wu chengze have both really improved in their stage presence throughout the course of this show aw deng chaoyuan looks the happiest we’ve ever seen him on stage haha zhou shiyuan’s voice is really so cool 

i guess we’ll never find out why gu landi is in mc jin’s group..... is it bc yao chi is here? im sorry i love this song and i love a lot of the kids in this group but can you just imagine how much better this stage would’ve been if it were with more kids who had experience rapping....? last year’s “zero” stage just made such a bigger impression on me...... this is actually really such a contrast im---

ALKSJDLAKSJDLK CHEN SIJIAN’S RAPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE JUST DID THATT!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT!??!?!1//!ASDLKJALSKJJ OMGGOHS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! CHEN SIJIAN JUST BLEW EVERYOEN OUT OF THE WATER YOU BEST BET HE DID WOWOW HE JSUT I CANT BELEIEVE HE JSUT INCLUDED AT LEAST 4 NAMES WOW 

IM WEN YECHEN

chen sijian is really the best at writing raps about his bros wow and like also he has the most creative lyrics i really appreciate wow such talent hes amazing!!!

a lost baby..

UNDERAPPRECIATED GU LANDI VISUALS

the face of a legend 

ever since i saw the “time” ballad version, ive had a sneaking suspicion that lin yuzhi is secretly one of the strongest vocalists on this show..... this is the face of talent

idk whose outfit is distracting me more, xu bingchao or xixi’s LOL shao haofan looks so nice here wow and ding feijun is so adorable even tho this is a more mature concept but i still cant see him as anything but a cute child

maybe its the way they cut up the lines but idk this song didnt really show off their vocal abilities that well..... sorry xixi :( i think xixi’s voice deserved better time to shine on this show...... his and feng junjie’s voices are actually both so nice i was so impressed when i saw them singing in the oaca clips

this koala ad makes me very uncomfortable......

wenhan reaches into the box and pulls out..... costco brand blueberries??!?!?/1 hHhahahhahHAHAHHA 

lol yao chi being so sentimental... oh look at this photo of me with bubbles on my face (me: oh no here it come--) OH YEA ALSO CHECK OUT THIS FACE WASH!

wow kou cong!! a face i havent seen in a while aw! i cant believe they filmed all the yaa eps while they all still had colorful hair lol i guess ill never get to see lin mo on yaa /sigh/ or actually any of the tyger members cept jia yi.........

HAHAHAHAHHA YESSSSSSSSS THEY INCLUDED A CLIP OF CHEN SIJIAN’S PHONE CALL !!!! HIS WAS HILARIOUSS!!!! HAHAHAHA I LOVED HOW SIMILAR HIS FAN SEEMED TO BE TO HIM HAHAH 

AAHH AS SOON AS IT GETS TO LIN MO’S ITS THE SAD MUSIC TIME

his was the most heartwarming call.... no bias LOL

feng junjie singing “the great artist” just---

this boy will never stop with the meme faces hHAHAHA

im surprised this section was so short lol i was expecting them to spend more time on this group...

SUN ZELIN SUN ZELIN SUN ZELIN YEA

jolin’s eyes are so wow 

feng junjie with the voice!!!!!!1 

JOLIN THE QUEEN

still kinda wish jia yi had more opportunity to sing on this show......... hes like second main vocalist to zhan yu in tyger but i feel like he hasnt gotten to show his voice much :( he did really well tho!!! he really has impressive stage presence

omg lin mo’s super shy “1 day” ahhhhh 

omg wang jiayi looks like hes about to cry... the poor child....

yixing reaching out to apologize to them.... hes really so caring towards them...... wang jiayi just needs more confidence!! i believe in him too

where did lin mo get this white cap from? lol he chose the pink one..... on a related note, im so happy lin mo got to be in yixing’s group, bc from the beginning with namanana hes really really tried so hard to earn yixing’s recognition, im sure it means a lot to him to be able to learn from him like this and share a stage with him 

yao mingming too, i feel like he really values yixing’s recognition as well

i think all the kids in this group had to have known that picking yixing’s group would be the most tiring and require the most effort, but i think choosing this group regardless just really shows they came here to learn 

A HAPPY BABYYY

omg like yixing is really /teaching/ them and i appreciate that

lin mo and xu fangzhou’s voices!!!!!!

OOF IM SO READY FOR THIS OUTFIT 

ASLDKALSDKJLAK HE WINKED!!!!!!!!!!!

what is this awkward closeup

why does fangzhou have wings lol

i feel like theres a lot of random awkward closeups of lin mo.... should i be happy about this??? LOL i dont think theyre all very flattering but at the same time at least hes got closeups....???? ? ??  

OOF HES GETTING MORE LINES THAN I EXPECTED TOO

you know how ive talked about how i love how much detail lin mo puts into his dancing, including even his slight head tilts? LOOK ANOTHER HEAD TILT 

HAHAHAHHAHA GUAN YUE’S EYES GOT SO BIG HAHAHHAHA OMGGG

ooof lin mo getting to sing the chorus with yixing im !!!!!! im sure hes so grateful for this opportunity wow also i think i mentioned this with namanana but i really think lin mo suits yixing’s dance style, like its a style that hes pulls off really well, so i think he got to shine a bit in this performance :’)

ok i havent said this yet but what is with that thick black fade at the top of the screen its so annoying??? like why you gotta cover the top of their heads??? 

wow we’re really getting a lot of random lin mo shots hahahha is this iqiyi repenting their wrongs from ‘spirit of the knight’ i almost am surprised how yao mingming isnt getting the most screentime but then i remember iqiyi has never favored yao mingming........ /sigh

AYYY WENXUAN AND LIN MO THE BUDDIES

just look at how perfectly tilted / well-positioned lin mo’s head is wow and that gaze wow i just love his stage presence

yea im gonna have to rewatch this perf to gif the lin mo moments.... maybe after the finale tomorrow when ill be like oop lin mo didnt make it in oh well let me just wallow in his talent that the audience slept on by drowning myself in lin mo content (its not like i do that every day already)

LOL THAT CAMERA SPIN WAS SUCH A FAIL YOU CANT SEE ANYONE CEPT WENXUAN ADJUSTING HIS MIC HAHAHHAHA ok on a side note tho im glad wenxuan got to be in this group too!! yuehua’s dancer getting to show us his dancing again :’) and we all know he was discouraged being reshuffled into “maze” and i just wanna say wenxuan deserves more credit for being able to really go out of his comfort zone and pull off the cute concept in “maze” well even tho he didnt want to accept it at first! 

HES PERFECT 

hey yall is it just me or did you see lin mo’s eyes in that really fast flashy bit at the end of the preview for the finale? HAHHAHAHA i couldnt even screenshot it bc it was so fast, but i swear i saw his eyes so i think he was in it LOOOL

JSUT KIDDING I WENT BACK AND TRIED AGAIN AND I GOT IT

I KNEW I SAW HIS EYES HAHAHAHHAHA

oo i havent mentioned this before but i really like the sound of chen sijians voice, even when speaking... 

OMG GU LANDI

OMGGGG MY CHILD YE ZIMING IN FREAKING TARZAN NEXT DOOR??!???

THIS IS TOO MUCH!!!!!!! THANKS FOR REMINDING US HOW IQIYI TOTALLY SLIGHTED THIS BOY OUT OF GETTING INTO TOP 35

aw honestly i wonder if lian huaiwei will really not make it tomorrow.....  

omg sun zelin in the ending credits!!!!

OMG ZHAN YU TOOOOOOO

OOF LOOK AT ZHAN YU’S JAWLINE (ooops sorry yechen ahhahhhaa)

they must really like this part of the choreo?? 

BUT I LOVE THIS LOOK ON YECHEN YESSS

lol is this lin mo’s back

tbh im surprised they didnt include lin mo in the ending credits but i think they were trying to make up for the loss of yao mingming time earlier LOOL 

ok well i have about 10 hrs until i gotta wake up to watch the finale so.... now to go watch fjj and hcx’s goodnight dachang HAHAH