#but for 14yo me who was so depressed/suicidal....his love was everything to me.......and i cant help looking back at it
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#i need therapy#but thats expensive so i'll just do it here#thoughts are weighing down on me and i feel like writing them down will get them out....maybe#and this will be lost under all my posts so#i miss someone i know i shouldnt...if i told other people they would tell me that it was wrong...that all of it was wrong#that i was 14 and he was 30.....especially the things he initiated#it was all wrong#but for 14yo me who was so depressed/suicidal....his love was everything to me.......and i cant help looking back at it#its been so long i think im romanticizing my teenage adolescence#because his words “no one will ever love you like I love you” haunt me#and the older i am...the more scared i am that hes right#is this how priscilla feels about elvis?#are young girls who get sought after by older men supposed to carry this weight on their hearts?#that they love and hate the man that took their innocence but showed them the world?#i thought that part of me would die but now im 30 and still it sits with me with all my heartaches and heartbreaks#all i ever wanted was love#and im broken for it
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