#but first I need to exorcise myself from all these thoughts

[t0rturedangel]

How about the Hazbin hotel gang with seraphim child reader who just somehow appeared after ep 8

╭ . . . 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚎 ੭

𝐇𝐀𝐙𝐁𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ⿻  𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦??

⌦ 𝒲𝒜𝑅𝒩𝐼𝒩𝒢𝒮 ﹕angel dust - swearing, just him being him. Alastor - ill intent, possible swearing. Mentions of killing, mentions of blood. Nifty - she tries to kill you, dw you dont die. this too me so long im gonna cry

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ okay, firstly just know that the crew goes fucking crazy- I mean they just fought an entire army of exorcist angels and killed Adam, the first man Adam!! So they all think that you're sort of there to try and punish them all for it, so they all get ready to attack (even though you're LITERALLY a child, children are wild though)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ that's until Charlie, bless her heart, recognizes you (and depending on if you tried to defend her in court just like Emily) and rushes up to you, holding her arms out happily- thats until Angel Dust surprisingly tries to stop her

"It's you!" Charlie gasped, her eyes widening in a pleasant surprise, you were the third and youngest seraphim and much like your older sister Emily felt the need to defend Charlie and her idea of redemption- the thought of allowing those who suffered to see the error of their ways and correct them and then given their reward of eternal peace sounded brilliant, much like Emily you were horrified to learn of the exterminations. You were the first one to openly agree to what Charlie had said despite Adam's comments and facial expressions, you also helped Emily in trying to make the court see what was wrong with this method, unfortunately your plans did not work, though Charlie remembered your efforts and clearly she enjoys your presence. At the glee in her tone, you smiled and stepped forward, wanting to give a hug to the princess of hell though paused in confusion when someone looking oddly like a spider stopped her.

"Woah there toots!" the spider called out to his friend, grabbing her arm to halt her movement- Angel dust was staring both you and Charlie down- a look of uncertainty and distrust painted all over his face "Why ya going to rando angels? what if they were sent down here to finish the job for Adam?", Angel did have a point- you appeared put of no where and was just standing outside the hotel? pretty suspicious.. though Charlie is quick to cool things down "Oh no no no! They're alright, they're a friend! They mean no harm at all- in fact [name] was one of the angels who supported my idea!" she turned to you joyfully, smiling from ear to ear "We can trust them!" ... "okay but how did they end up here? in uh hell?" Husk piped up, his voice full of boredom- or annoyance (you can never really tell with husk, what an odd man) "Oh I fell! ... or rather- I threw myself out of heaven" you happily answered the question, giving everyone a quick second to process what the actual fuck you just said.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ thats how you joined the hotel! Pretty nice innit??

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐄

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Charlie adores you! you're such a sweet little thing, you're a sweetie and are just so kind to everyone!! (at least that's what she likes to think)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ she thinks of you as a little small sibling!, after all you're the youngest of the team and act just like her, plus she always wanted a little sibling so you're perfect!

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ any ideas she thinks of or any redemption exorcises she runs them by you- to see if they can be more or less effective to get her friends into heaven

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Since Charlie could only stay in heaven for so long, she loves to ask you about heaven and how it was like- always being so invested in your stories, she honestly cannot get enough of them!

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ also, Charlie is... painfully aware that she can never get into heaven, ever. Afterall, she's not only a hell-born but also literally the heir to the throne of hell so yeah there is no chance for her redemption, something she cannot handle- she cries knowing this but now that she has you- someone who ran from heaven, actively choosing to leave and come here gives her comfort. Now she'll never be alone, she has you and you have her!

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ At first, Lucifer was startled and untrusting of you- you're a seraphim, someone that was just like him and could possibly actually take him down despite you being an actual child.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ over time, the king of hell did grow warmer to you, after all he sees a bit of himself in you. Both ex-angels, both hate heaven.... it's like you're his second little one!

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Sometimes, when lucifer isnt busy with his actual child, he hangout with you- entertaining you with his magic while you return the favor with little stories and things, sometimes you even create little gifts like flowers for him.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Lucifer vows to keep you safe, even though you can easily take down hundreds of sinners and even overlords, it's paternal instincts what can i say?

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ this man totally makes you ducks- he has enough experience in making ducks so you know own a few dozen in your hotel room- how lovely!!

𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ oh this man, this radio demon. He's out for your soul, absolutely hell-driven to get it, and it's all for power (who could have guessed)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ He doesnt like kids, in fact he can confirm that he absolutely HATES children though he will act all kind and lovely to you- remember though it's all an act! don't fall for it, he just wants your soul (if he gets your soul, your angelic soul? fuck- he'll be even more powerful than before, having an angel's soul would make him practically invincible!)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ This guy, funny fella really. HE CANNOT BUGGER OFF. Whenever you need help with anything he's the first to appear and offer a helping hand- and then in return as a favor back asks for a deal- is he serious? (yes. he always is)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Alastor though also, much like everyone else becomes a a bit soft for you- occasionally creating those little weird shadow creatures to play with you, since everyone around you are adults and are busy it's a way of keeping you entertained when they're busy

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ He, also, understands that you are more powerful than him- and knows that if he gets on your nerves enough he'll probably become dust.

𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ at first, Nifty only had one goal: to kill you (hey don't blame her! Charlie told her to stab and she's still under that impression)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ good for you though!! coz you fly up right as she even tries to stab her dagger through your chest- Charlie and Vaggie immediately grabbing nifty to stop her from moving and killing you.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ after the whole misunderstanding, Nifty actually enjoys begin with you! you're clean, and help kill bugs (well really it's you pointing the bugs out to Nifty and her killing them)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ You're, unsurprisingly, taller than Nif so she likes to climb up on you and sit on your shoulders or stand on your back while holding onto your shoulders. She finds you the most comfortable to climb- plus she can hide in your wings and be used as a secret weapon.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ she adores playing with roaches with you- while you are grossed out by it slightly, you still play to entertain Nifty (then after you sanitize your whole body about ten times)

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ angel tends to avoid you, not out of hate or spite or anything- it's just.... well he is aware of how he is and well he doesnt want to ruin you in the sense of his dirty talk and swearing.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ though occasionally he finds himself stuck looking after you, which is.... fun.... no i mean really its fun as fuck!!! Angel makes all sorts of jokes, offers you alcohol (you did almost take it if it werent for husk and practically everyone else to all collectively pry the bottle of vodka out of your hands)

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ angel dust also teaches you some very creative swear words! so now, whenever you feel like talking you run around screaming weird insults at people, Alastor has heard you shout "EAT ASS AND DIE HORSE FACE FUCK BITCH!!" a few times to random sinners

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ The... star, is actually proud of teaching you those words- hey if you wanna stay in hell you gotta act like it!

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ hides you away from Val- though somehow you still find out about him, and when you learnt how he treated your spider-friend.. uhm, the studio was in smithereens and val was close to death- now permanently loosing his right arm (just his right arm for now)

𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐊

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ to you, Husk is like the weird- drunk uncle who just got out of prison. Though, he's the cool drunk uncle.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Husk doesnt really speak to you, which is brilliant coz you dont really speak- so the two of you communicate through looks and gestures, leaving everyone in the hotel watching you two 'talk' very confused.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ never gives you alcohol, no matter how much you ask with 'cherries on top' and if he does catch you with any intoxicating drinks he snatches them off of you- scolds you a bit then drinks the beverage himself.... hypocrite

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Husk helps you avoid Alastor, he doesnt want to see you being under his clutches, you dont deserve that you're just a kid.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ He also teaches you how to do magic tricks just incase you ever want to become a magician... and sometimes he teaches you how to play card games- or how to gamble

𝐕𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐄

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ In all honestly, Vaggie is very much threatened by you- because like, do i even need to say it?? YOU'RE A SERAPHIM !!!!!

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Buttt as long as Charlie is okay with you and you don't pull any stunts to try and sabotage the team you're alright! Just dont try anything.... please

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ she accidently treats you like a soldier sometimes- a habit from her exorcist days, speaking of you could immediately tell she was one of those angels and while you did not like her at first you grew to like her- viewing her as a second older sister

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ you and Vaggie sometimes sit and remember old times in heaven- and you'd ask about the exterminations, though quickly stopped after noting her discomfort.

⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Vaggies also likes to try and swap weapons with you- to see if she and you can handle other weapons (unsurprisingly you both adapt quite quickly)

[satorusugurugurl]

The idea of yandere gojo and geto (both at the same time) plotting against their darling reader using geto's cursed spirits to make her on them gets my mind reeling for nights 👀 wonder if my favorite writer has any thoughts on this

Perfect Prey

Characters: Yadere!Geto Suguru, Yadere!Gojo Satoru,FAB!Reader

Warnings: yandere!Geto/Gojo, manipulation, dub! con read is unaware that the boys are manipulating her! (consent is vital for me!!) double penetration, smut, mentions of wounds, cursing

Word Count: 3,404

A/N: Ah! thank you Nonnie! This made me smile! Oooh, this, this was fun. I loved getting into this! I hope y’all enjoy it!! (I really enjoyed writing for Suguru 🥵)

“I finally got my own mission!” Geto and Gojo glanced up at you as you proudly walked into the first-year's classroom. “Took years, but I think they finally realized I’m fully capable of destroying a curse or two by myself!”

Geto gave you a warm smile, resting his chin on his fist. “Is that so? Funny, I thought we made it clear one of us was supposed to accompany you on any mission.” He shut his eyes, tilting his head slightly to the side.



“Oh, that’s a good one, Suguru!” You excitedly plopped down on Gojo’s desk, kicking your feet back and forth. “All jokes aside, they did want to send one of you with me.”

“Wanted to send one of us?” Satoru questioned, dipping his chin to watch you.

The two men watched you closely as your pretty head nodded. “Yaga said,” you tilted your chin at Satoru, “You were assigned to come with me, Satoru. But seeing as you just returned from your mission, I insisted that I could handle a couple of curses on my own.” Gojo scoffed, his head turning to give Suguru a look of disbelief. “Oh, don't look at him like that!” Sure, the duo were best friends, but their silent communication between stolen glances made you feel left out.

“I don't think me coming back from a mission, which I handled easily because I’m Gojo Satoru, of course. Means I can't come with you. They assigned us this together.” The white-haired man’s time was thick with annoyance. “For a specific reason, I’m assuming.”

You cocked an eyebrow, eyes darting between the two men. “Why would the Gojo Satoru be needed to exorcise a handful of low-grade curses?” Looking at Gojo, you could almost hear the wheels turning in his head. “You know what—why do they even send you both you're Special-grades?” Before you could question them, Geto chuckled, soft and rich.

“Ignore Satoru; he’s just being clingy. Congratulations on your first solo mission.” Pride swelled in your chest at his acknowledgment. You happily kicked your feet faster as Geto reached over, ruffling your hair. “Just promise to be careful, and if you need any help, please know we’re but a phone call away.”

“Thank you.” The condescending tone of your voice has Satoru clenching his jaw. “I’ll get this mission done so fast, you won't even notice I’m gone!”

Geto pulled his hand back, nodding, dark hair swaying as you slid off the seal. “Be safe; we’ll see you at home.”

“I will! See you both later!”

Geto smiled, waving until the door shut, and he could no longer hear your footsteps down the hall. The instant he was confident that you weren't around, his smile fell, eyes narrowed at the door. Gojo was fuming, pulling his blindfold down, letting it pool around his neck. Between the two men, their anger could freeze Hell over.

“This is problematic.” Geto rubbed at the pulsing sensation in his temple.

“Problematic? No, this is a disaster if she gets through this mission, which we know she will! She's going to get more solo missions. Solo missions turn into group missions, with other sorcerers, other men.”

“And we can't have that. No one is good enough to protect her, let alone breathe the same air.”

Gojo sat on the edge of the desk, watching as his best friend tapped his thumb against the center of his forehead. Between the two of them, they would find a way to fix this sticky situation. Their solution had to be clean. They couldn’t have you finding out that they were the ones responsible for your lack of solo missions. The two pulled strings to ensure you were always with them.

Some might call them possessive and obsessive. But they didn't see it like that. They just knew no one on the face of the planet would ever be good enough for you. You were their darling little princess. The keywords are theirs and theirs alone.

“We could tell Yaga to pull her off, tell a white lie like maybe she changed her mind.”

“No, no, that would look suspicious. She went through all the trouble, convincing him to let her go alone. After all that, for us to ask that, she would start asking questions. We can’t have her knowing we’re responsible for her lack of solo missions.”

“Okay, do you have any ideas?” When Geto said nothing, Gojo sighed, exasperated, feeling Geto’s eyes on him. “It would be easier if we showed her how ‘dangerous’ these solo missions can be.”

A lightbulb went off in Geto’s mind. “Satoru~” he purred, “that’s a brilliant idea.” The other man furrowed crisp white brows in confusion. “She thinks it’s just a handful of curses, right?”

“Yeah?”

“It would be a shame if there were more curses than she could handle,” Geto smirked, specks of black forming behind his shoulder, his curses coming to life, revealing his intentions.

Satoru grinned wide with a sharp laugh. “That truly would be a shame, wouldn’t it? Poor sweetheart will have to call us to help.” Geto nodded, motioning for Satoru to follow.

“Come on, we got shit to do.”

Later that night, you were scrambling off the ground, wincing as the fifteen curses chased you around the corner of the abandoned building. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” You screamed, palms bleeding, knees scraped up as you stumbled back to your feet, barely avoiding the sharp teeth of the curse behind you.

This was supposed to be a simple job! One where there would be maybe two or three curses to take out! Three were okay! You were able to handle that on your own. But after you took them out, you suddenly found yourself surrounded by dozens of curses. All of them ranged from different grades, from four to two, but a couple gave off a darker presence, possibly special grades, which was not good.

How the hell did three curses turn into three dozen?! How could the intel be so off?! And how the hell were you going to get out of this?!

A low snarling snapped you out of your frantic thoughts before the curse in front of you swiped at your stomach with very long and very sharp claws. You dodged, falling back onto the ground, watching it close in on you. This was not good, not in the slightest, and it didn’t help that you were all alone!

Scrambling back, you pushed yourself off the ground, ducking into a room, slamming the door. “Goddamn, fuck me.” Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you called the two strongest men of the modern age. Sure, there was a one hundred and fifty percent chance they'd boast about how they were right, how you needed to listen to them, but that didn’t matter right now! “Pick up! Pick up, pick up!”

The phone rang and rang and rang. Just when you thought it would go to voicemail, the line clicked. Gojo yawned on the other line without a care in the world. “Hello~?” He cooed, listening to the raspy breathing.

“Satoru!” You gulped down breaths of air. “Toru, I need help!” You screamed as a curse slammed against the door.

Gojo covered the receiver, snickering as Geto eyed the building you were in. “What was that? You need our help?”

“Yes!” you cried out, “Satoru! Please help!!”

“Are you sure? I mean, I am considered a Special Grade; low-grade curses are something I shouldn’t worry about, right?”

Geto’s curse smashed through the door, dashing at you. He swore he could hear your scream through Satoru’s phone. His poor princess is getting chased around by his curses. This could have been easily avoided if you didn’t insist on taking on this mission alone. Unfortunately for you, the choices you made led to this outcome.

Your heart was hammering against your rib cage as you slipped and maneuvered around the curses slowly surrounding you. This was way out of your league, and you were beginning to regret now bringing one of the boys with you. Plus, Satoru wouldn’t drop everything and come running to your rescue, not after everything you’d said earlier.

“Toru, please.” Pleading was something you rarely did, but Satoru’s ego had been bruised, so you had to do what needed to be done. “Please, I'm begging you.”

Both Gojo and Geto exchanged a look with each other. “You beg so nicely,” Satoru commented, listening to a loud crashing sound followed by your curse. “I suppose I could come, maybe bring Suguru too.”

“Y-Yes! Yes, please!”

“On one condition.”

Despite the fact dozens of curses were chasing you, you stopped dead in your tracks. “Condition?! What fuckin’ condition?!”

“You never take a solo mission again.”

After this endeavor, he didn’t even have to ask you to do that. “Y-Yes! I agree. Just fucking hurry!” In the blink of an eye, the tall white-haired man teleported before you with Geto by his side. The curse that had been charging at you slammed hard against Gojo’s infinity before being forced back as the white-haired man stepped forward.

You fell to your knees, panting heavily as Geto peered down at you from over his shoulder. “Are you alright?” You just nodded your head, glancing down at your bleeding hands. “You don’t look alright.” You could smell the woodsy musk

as Geto knelt in front of you. “Give me.” He gently grabbed your hand, examining the scraps on the heels of your hand.

”Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Gojo chastised as he grabbed you and Geo, teleporting the three of you back to their apartment. “Guess your first solo mission didn’t quite go as well as you planned now, did it?”

There was no retort or sharp comeback because he was right. Even if the intel had been wrong, you couldn't handle this mission on your own. You had failed after you insisted that you could handle this mission without any hiccups. Now, that confidence was replaced with shame and disbelief. You had to call on your colleagues for assistance. After they warned you that this is something you wouldn’t be able to handle.

The two men who had orchestrated this scheme watched you with unreadable expressions—on the outside, their demeanor seemed unnerved, while on the inside, they were swelling with pride and excitement. Seeing you so distraught and broken had their pants tightening at the almost broken, blank look in your eyes.

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed,” Suguru announced, lifting you and ushering you towards the bathroom. “There’s nothing to be ashamed about. You’re not the only sorcerer who isn't capable of handling three dozen cursed spirits on their own. Not everyone is as strong as Satoru and I.”

Suguru moves to the shower, turning it on as you remain still, the events of the evening replaying over in your mind. “Suguru’s right. Not everyone would have handled a situation like that. You should be grateful, though. You’re lucky enough to have us willing to come to your beck and call.” Satoru is moving in front of you, holding your hands over the sink, running hot water over the wounds. “If we hadn’t shown up when we did, you could have died.” The truth of his words had your head jerking up, meeting crystalline eyes.

“I-I could have died.” The monotone repetition of his own words had Satoru’s cock throbbing at the broken throaty words that left your mouth.

“You could have.” He agreed, pressing his lips against your neck. “But you didn’t because we saved you.”

“I-I know.” You whispered as Geto joined your side. “You saved me.”

Hands, hot and rough, ran over the mounds of your breasts, gripping your hips, manhandling you in ways they had done in the past. There had been nights when the three of you had been so bored you just decided to hook up or when they just needed a little stress relief. This time, however, felt monumentally different. Like they were holding their breath, holding themselves back. Their stoic bodies jittered with anticipation, waiting to see what happened next.

To you, it was them being pent up, maybe the adrenaline rushing through their systems. Because if you were being honest with yourself, you felt just as pent up. Almost dying had you wanting to cave into your raw human desires. While the men standing on either side of you shared one of their infamous knowing glances. They weren’t driven by the adrenaline and passion of what had happened. Not in the slightest. No, their desire was driven by pure, unfiltered joy.

They finally had you right where they wanted you. Broken. You had lost a fight you knew you could have won. Due to them, your confidence in your abilities was clouded by a fabricated series of events.

First, you’d be broken, not taking missions alone any further. The next phase would be to distance you from the school slowly. Trying to convince you that you didn’t need to worry about working, the two made more than enough money to provide for the three of you. If all went according to plan, you would be their perfect little live-in girlfriend in no time.

What made all of this ten times better was the fact that you had no idea tonight's events had left you in their web of lust and desire. They were the spiders, and you were the poor innocent fly—a fly about to be devoured in the most primal ways imagined.

“Thank you for saving me.”

”Nu-uh.”

“We did save you, so you need to thank us properly.”

The men pressed lips against you, hands trailing over your body. You melted against them, gasping as hands cupped your breasts, hard cocks rubbing against your hips as they ground against you. They did save you, didn’t they? They went above and beyond to stop what they were doing and come to your aid.

“Y-Yeah, I think I will.” You whispered, turning to kiss each man on the mouth before sinking to your knees. “Please, let me thank you.”

Two thick long cock were suddenly in your face, throbbing and leaking pre-cum from angry, flushed tips. Seeing as your hands were scrapped up and ran, you took turns sucking and licking each man's cock, while they jerked off. Your tongue flicked, swirled, and lapped the two cocks, until their cum spurted over your face coating your lips and cheeks. Your appreciation didn’t stop there. You pulled both fully clothed men into the shower with you, tugging their clothes off and discarding them over the shower door.

Satoru and Suguru both help you, lifting you, your legs wrapping around Satoru’s waist as Geto’s wet, chiseled chest pressed firmly over your back. Both cock’s teased your wet cunt’s entrance, rubbing over against each other as you whined softly, tilting your head back. Their cocks both pressed past the tight opening of your pussy, stretching your walls in a painful yet pleasurable way, leaving your cock drunk the deeper they sunk into your wet heat.

A minute was all they allowed you to take to attempt to adjust yourself to the sensation of having two cocks buried inside of you. They were bullying inside of you. Satoru’s cock kissed your cervix with each thrust, While Suguru rubbed against your g-spot in the most heavenly way. Perhaps if you had been a good girl and just left everything as it was, they would have taken it easier on you. Regretfully, in their eyes, you had almost ruined their carefully constructed ploy to make you theirs in every sense of the word. Due to that, you were going to be punished severely.

Their thrusts were hard, deep, and almost painful. Fucking into you as if you were just a sex toy rather than a human being. Satoru’s teeth dug painfully into your shoulder, leaving indentations in his wake. Suguru’s mouth trailed kissed over the nap of your neck, mouth gentler than Satoru but his hands were as cruel as the white-haired man's. He pinched and pulled at your nipples, yanking them until you cried out his name before releasing his grip. The relief never lasted long; as soon as the dull, stinging sensation subsided, Suguru returned to the painful teasing.

The kisses, touch, and thrusts weren’t the only way they were mean to you. Their words stung just as bad as the scrapes on your hands and the abrasions to your knees. If you hadn’t been crying from the mere overstimulation of pained pleasure, their words might have had your eyes watering just as much.

”Our stupid dirty slut, getting herself into such a fucked up me.”

”Yes, dragging us both out to save her.”

“Then, on top of everything we did. Going out of our way to save her after she blatantly told us she was fine, she still gets fucked good like the whore that she is.”

”Yeah, she might not be able to take on a cursed spirit, but she’s sure good at taking two dicks at the same time.”

Their words had your skin flushing in shame and need, your mouth dropping into an ‘O’ as the abdomen in your lower abdomen started to tighten. “Oooh, fuk, please, ha—ah fuuck.” You were so close, so damn close to either passing out or having the most intense orgasm of your life. If you were lucky, which didn’t seem likely after all the mishaps today, maybe, just maybe, you could experience both. “G-Gonna cum, please.”

”You hear that Satoru, our little cock slut wants to cum.”

Satoru’s hips began to jerk faster, the head of his cock slamming into your cervix thrust after thrust. “Does she even deserve it?” He continued, leaving pain over your skin, his tongue brushing over the marks.

“P-Please, oooh god, please don’t tease”

“Hm, what do you say, Suguru? Nngh fuck—“ Satoru hammered his hips into you, thrust after thrust, drawing you closer and closer to the edge. “Should our precious girl cum?”

“Aaahh yes~ let her cum, make her take both our loads, then once she catches her breath, we fuck her even more.”

Reaching between your bodies, Satoru rubbed your clit, making your walls twitch around the two monster cocks inside of you. Their pace matches the others, working in harmony to send you over the edge. A scream, one that had never left you before, echoes inside the steamy shower. “C-Cummin! Cumming!” You screamed over and over until both of you stiffened, ropes of thick hot cum filling you.

“Take it bitch, take every last drop, milk me dry.” Satoru was always more vocal, nipping and sucking at your ear as his whiny groans invaded your mind.

“P-Princess, mmmhm, fuuuck.” Unlike Satoru, who was all about talking and heaving his voice, Suguru was softer, moans deep and feral, but he didn’t feel the need to announce it to the entire apartment complex. “Fillin’ you up so good~”

They both did; their hot cum leaked out of you, running down their softening shafts. In the shower, you hummed, listening to the tittering splatter in the water washing over you. The peaceful moment lasted for but a second as both men pressed kisses on your shoulder.

“You belong to us.”

“Do you understand?”

As their wandering hand dug into your skin, you nodded. Rocking slightly against them with a helpless whine. “Yes, yeah, I belong to you both!” The two friends shared a cold, knowing smirk as you began thrusting into you harder, making your eyes roll back into your head as loud moans wrecked through you. Little did you know how serious they both were.

You belonged to them in every way, shape, and form, whether you liked it or not.

[ponderingmoonlight]

OH EM GEE YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN 🙏🙏🙏🙏 fem!reader x megumi fushiguro with a side of injury x angst and hurt but at the end there's fluff/comfort please !! fem!reader gets injured trying to save megumi, (prompt 17) then megumi is like "girl wtf" and then he scolds fem!reader (prompt 2) for getting injured in the process of trying to save him... then fem!reader was like "i was ready to give my heart to you" (prompt 28) and megumi was like "u dont need to do that" and then megumi suddenly confesses ?? (prompt 65) (HELP LMAOOO) and then fem!reader confesses as well and megumi's like "don't leave me." (prompt 61) and then fem!reader's like "dont be silly why would i leave you xo" (prompt 64) so sorry if this was confusing i got too excited 🙏🙏🙏🙏

First of all, I'm so so so sorry this took so long! While I always wrote on this fic from time to time, it wasn't until tonight when I had an idea how to get all of these prompts togehter. While I think it isn't my best work, I hope you still like it <3

Save you

Pairing: Megumi x reader

Word Count: 1,1k

Synopsis: After you recklessly risk your own life to save his, Megumi can't hold back his feelings any longer

Warnings: It's so fluffy I'm gonna dieee and a little shitty writing I'm so sorry guys, proofread, but I'm sick and not concentrated so show some mercy

Rumbling, teeth, blood. It happens faster than you are able to comprehend your surroundings. All you know is that this fucking curse was only inches away from Megumi’s face. Inches away from ripping his skin apart. Inches away from probably killing the boy you are secretly in love with since joining Jujutsu High. It was a reflex, an intuition. Without hesitation, you throw yourself in front of him, hands stretched out in a desperate attempt to shield the merciless attack.

“I’ll get you out of here.”

You did manage to exorcise the curse. But not without your blood splattering everything in vicinity, sharp teeth slicing your delicate flesh open without mercy.

„(y/n)! Why did you do that!?”, Megumi yells at you, eyes widen in pure shock.

Everything hurts. You don’t dare to look down on your own body, instead you just stand there and stare at Megumi.

“Are you out of your mind? You could have died!”, he hollers at you.

In the matter of seconds he stands by your side, frantically taking off his uniform and pressing the fabric against your multiple scorching wounds. Your heart sinks into your chest at the sound of his anger-filled voice.

“Stop yelling at me, I saved you. And you would have done the same for me”, you hiss through gritted teeth, ignoring the pain that spreads around your whole body.

“This was absolutely reckless, (y/n)! I thought you were smarter than that, such behavior doesn’t suit you at all! Don’t you know that I’m able to take care of myself? I don’t need you to risk your own life for me”, he blurts out, every word stabbing into your heart like a knife.

You hate the way your eyes start to instantly burn with tears, completely taking your sight that is fixed on his brown shoes. This is not fair. You did what your intuition told you. And you just know Megumi would do the same for you – maybe not out of love, but friendship. He’d be the first to take a bullet if it means saving his friends.

“And to top it off, you don’t even care about even injured, it’s like yo-“

That’s enough. You can’t hold back any longer.

“If it means that I’ll save you, I’d be ready to give you my heart without even flinching! Because I care about you, idiot”, you yell so suddenly that Megumi flinches at the unusual harsh tone in your voice.

He can’t help but stare at you in disbelief. Megumi has known you for years, long before joining Jujutsu High. And even though he always knew you care for him, he never thought that it would go this far. After all, you’re so breathtaking gorgeous that he never lost a thought about you actually liking him back.

Because for Megumi, it has always been more than a sweet innocent friendship, more than a little sympathy. When he fell, he fell hard, head over heels to be exact. Your words make his heart beat a little louder, world spin a little faster. But still…Still he can’t accept the fact that you’d die so recklessly because of him.

“(y/n), I would rather die than knowing the love of my love got injured because of me…”

Now or never, the way your eyes pierce right through him and the fact that you nearly died because of him let Megumi gather all his courage.

“I can’t hold it back any longer! (y/n)…I think I might be in love with you. No, I’m sure that I love you. I love the way you walk and talk, how you carry yourself with so much elegance. I love the way you make fighting look so effortlessly and the little smile you wear on your face every time you see me. But even though your affection goes far enough to save me, I know you’ll never like me like this…I just needed to get this off my chest. So I hope you don’t leave me, I would totally understand if you don’t wanna speak to be though…”

Minutes feel like hours when all you can do is stand there and stare into the dark ocean of his eyes. All this time, you thought all these things about Megumi himself. That he only likes you as a friend, that he wouldn’t be able to see more in you than his comrade, a simple girl that’s been through some shit on his side. But those sweet words leaving his mouth, him telling you that he loves you…You can’t believe your ears. This has to be a pretty dream, right? Like the ones you desperately try to get back to when waking up, the ones you don’t even have to write down in order to remember.

This is not a dream, though. Your whole body is on fire, limbs burning like hell while your tear-stained cheeks get brushed by an icy wind. No, this is reality. And by the way his eyes glister in nothing but sadness you can tell that he truly believes in his words.

How ironic.

“Don’t be stupid, I’m not leaving you”, you breathe out.

A warm smile creeps up your face as you close the distance between your bodies, fingers intertwining with his. Oh, if he only knew how often you daydreamed about this, how often you told yourself over and over that he doesn’t like you like this, that Megumi Fushiguro will never love you. Little did you know that he felt the exact same way.

“I loved you since joining Jujutsu High. All this time I thought that a wonderful boy like me could never…well…fall in love with someone like me”, you admit shyly.

“You’ve got to be kidding, right?”

He grabs your face, forcing you to look up into his ocean orbs.

“You are the most precious thing walking on this earth. If someone’s lucky than it’s me. Even though I still don’t like that you threw yourself in front of that curse for me. Please never do something like that again.

His breath brushes against your cheek. Is this really happening? Are his lips really lowering themselves at yours, touching them so innocently while all you can do is close your eyes and let yourself sink against his tender touch? No, this is sweet reality.

And all of that because you decided in a split of a second that Megumi is worth all the pain, that your feelings for him are greater than fear.

“I’d always throw myself in front of a curse again if it means that I can do that”, you mumble against his lips.

[starcrossedxwriter]

Men deserve less… like so much fucking less.

I stopped talking to this guy in NOVEMBER after I realized he had been like gaslighting and manipulating the fuck out of me for over a year. We basically ended it with “we don’t need to be friends or talk again.”

And like I deleted his number and moved the fuck on. And don’t get me wrong - shit was hard as fuck at first. I was super sad and just felt like I had messed up but I knew it was for the best.

I exorcised that man from my mind, heart, body and moved on. And I’m still a work in progress but just cutting him off did me so much good in terms of bettering my standards in relationships.

Fast forward to today and he texts me out of the blue. Like we don’t follow each other on social, I had deleted his number so it was so random and weird.

But what upset me really was the pure audacity of it.

He starts it with “I told myself I was gonna respect your wishes and never speak to you again, but…”

Well already babes, I’m seeing a huge issue with boundaries lol you are admitting that you know you aren’t supposed to be in my phone and yet…. Like let’s unpack why you thought texting me at all or leading with that was a good idea at all.

And here’s the real kicker. The real “‘men are never short on audacity” moment.

You might be thinking that text was gonna follow with something actually important lol like life or death because why else would he be texting me out of the blue for no reason when he know I don’t want to hear from him?

Nope. He was texting me about House of the Dragon🫠

Do niggas not have friends????? Like why on earth is that what you break the silence for?? Any reason… any excuse just to get back on their fuckshit 🙄 and now I’m annoyed

Bothering me over some CGI dragons??

We have to bring back the guillotine. I cannot.

[zombryz]

: ̗̀➛ Sparks and Cursed Shadows

˗ˏˋ hello again, dear reader ˎˊ˗   Here is my new series :3

Chapter One

masterlist | Next Chapter 2  | ao3

Pairings: Satoru Gojo x afab!reader x Suguru Geto

A/N: hehehe I am so excited for this one. I've already written 20k words and are planning on posting once a week. I usually write these for myself and will almost always make the reader afab, however, I am always open to requests and can write for any gender. As always, thanks for reading my brain rot :3

Summary: Years had passed since you last saw him—the formidable sorcerer, Satoru Gojo, with his innate six eyes, your old classmate, and first love. When Suguru Geto decided to part ways with Jujutsu High and abandon sorcery altogether, you went with him, both of you unintentionally breaking Satoru's heart. Now, after years and years, your heart aches as Suguru, your now lover, succumbs to the ancient curse of Kenjaku. Suguru—no—Kenjaku threatens to kill Suguru inside of his own mind if you do not confront your once-beloved Satoru Gojo, killing him to bring balance back to the world of curses.

Warnings: (current, may change throughout the story) **Possible Anime/Manga spoilers throughout** PSTD, Death, depression, angst, possessiveness, jealousy, uneven power dynamics (obviously because Gojo is the strongest), eventual lemon/smut, slowburn, right person wrong time, friends to lovers to enemies to lovers again, touch starved, unprotected first time, virgin!reader, virgin!gojo, betrayal, possible pregnancy (undecided but will make it cute, not annoying), fuckboy!gojo, kind of poly!reader (she loves them both at the same time), gore/blood/violence scenes that will be graphic

Word Count: 8.5k

Monday, July 9th 2018

“Do you want to go see Human Earthworm 3?” Mahito annoyingly leans into your shoulder hoping that Suguru won’t see him pestering you. You roll your eyes internally and move your head to the left a little now that Mahito is blocking all the sunlight. He sits in the beach chair next to you after he realizes you’re not going to answer him. “Oh c’mon, Geto has you on such a tight leash it’ll be fun.” He says this in a sing-song voice hoping to get you on-board. 

You scoff and try to ignore his childlike teasing and pull your sunglasses down from the top of your head to block your eyes from Mahito in hopes of getting him to leave you alone. 

“No one will even see me so it’ll be like you’re seeing the movie alone. No need to be embarrassed.” He adds hoping this would somehow change your mind. Ugh, he was so aggravating.  You remember when Suguru introduced you to Mahito, the patch-faced, human-like curse. You initially thought he was cute until he opened his mouth. Nothing has changed since then, he’s just gotten more and more under your skin. 

“Enough Mahito,” Suguru interjects and is suddenly standing over the two of you with his arms crossed. His voice made it seem like he was unbothered by the situation entirely but his body language read a little differently. Mahito slumps back into the beach chair with a clear frown plastered across his face. “Y/N, can you come with me please.” He doesn’t look at you when he says this. Instead, he turns on his heel and walks towards the floating door in the middle of the sand. You were in Dagon’s beach domain. It was mostly relaxing and this was where most of you spent your time in hiding these days. 

“What is it?” You ask as the two of you approach the door. You avoid his blatant eye contact. Lately, you’ve been having a really hard time looking at the man you love because that's just it; He isn’t the man you love, well, not anymore. One day last year he came back from a “mission” extremely injured with stitches across his head. He said that he was no longer Suguru Geto but instead a man by the name of Kenjaku. At first, you thought that the injury on his head made him lose his memory but soon you realized he had been possessed by a curse that you had no idea how to exorcise. He stopped touching you and acted like he barely knew who you were and became very serious-natured. Suguru was never this cold. He tried to imitate his love for you but you knew better. It was all a facade. After all, he had told you the truth, that man was no longer Suguru Geto. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to mourn him or save him. You chose the latter and never gave up hope that one day you would get him back. You knew he was still in there, somewhere. Until then, you would do whatever he wanted you to do. It was like you were his slave. You would cry yourself to sleep at night almost every night since. Your Suguru was no longer there to hold you close, to tell you how much he loved you, to have you by his side. You were no longer of importance to him.

Only once had you attempted to exorcise him. That was the day you almost died. He was too strong and you got the only evidence you needed that he was still in there, trapped inside his own body. His body betrayed Kenjaku and didn’t allow him to hurt you anymore. Suguru had stopped himself from killing you. 

“There is something I need from you.” He shuffles his hands awkwardly. Seeing him come off so confident is weird, although his body language betrays him whenever he speaks to you. In the beginning, it was tough to watch but now, you're just numb to it. God, you wish he’d just get on with it so this conversation could be over. It still hurts and you feel your tears threaten to spill. Now all your relationship was was transactions. You stayed close because you loved him and he took advantage of that. “I need you to kill Satoru Gojo.” Your heart sinks at his request. You had secretly hoped that Kenjaku wouldn’t find out who Satoru was or who he was to you and Suguru but several months ago Kenjaku had devised a plan to trap Satoru. That plan you could live with but this? Satoru’s name still sounded foreign on his pseudo-Suguru’s tongue. Your mind flashes to Satoru’s ocean-blue eyes and his cocky but warm smile. How could he say that about his best friend? Your best friend? He probably had this planned this whole time. You were being naive. It was probably because Satoru posed a serious threat to him. How could you forget that Satoru was the strongest Sorceror? You couldn’t, but instead, you just wished he wasn’t.

“I thought we planned to trap him in the prison realm, that’s what you said!” Your voice betrays you now and you’re not trying to shout but you are. You’re upset and visibly so, why is he saying all of this?

“We’re not certain the prison realm will be enough to hold Satoru Gojo, after all, he is the strongest.” He laughs and you just scoff at his words in disbelief. If Suguru heard himself say this he would be so heartbroken. It had been years since you saw him, the strongest sorcerer, the man who held the innate gift of the six eyes, your old classmate, your first love, Satoru Gojo. Almost ten years to be exact. He would be almost 30 now. So much has changed since then. You wondered if he remembered you and if he thought of you as much as you thought of him.

“I can’t. I won’t-” your voice cracks, “-do that.” The tears from earlier start to spill now. You had hoped that running away with Suguru to follow his dream would mean that you would never have to see Satoru again. You were fine with that but this, you weren’t fine with. Your heart would never allow you to kill Satoru Gojo. You weren’t even sure why Suguru was so confident that you could. Maybe because it wasn’t a request from Suguru…

“Yes, you will. If you have any hope of seeing Suguru Geto again you will.” Your eyes flick up to his forehead where you look at him through wet lashes. You look at the stitches that hold his skull together with haste. He’s still in there and you just wanted him back. “You’re the only one out of all of us that has the best chance of getting close to him. After all, he once loved you. Didn’t he?” Your cheeks burn and your stomach drops at his words. You feel like you’re going to be sick. If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know if he once loved you or not. “Even if you don’t kill him, you’re able to get close and weaken him, then we can trap him.”

“Fine.” You wipe the single tear from your cheek and turn to walk away but before you can Kenjaku reaches for your arm and grabs a hold of your wrist tightly making you wince.

“I think you should go with Mahito. It could give you a chance to scope out Satoru’s whereabouts. I hear he has a few students of his own now.” His voice is deep and low making you curious as to why he was whispering. Is this because he doesn’t have faith in the little curses he keeps around him? Are you the only person completely loyal to him? Maybe, you thought. Then your mind wanders to Satoru. You wonder if he’s gotten any taller, his hair any longer, or if he is the same old Satoru. Your lips turn upwards slightly at the thought of his laugh as you leave Suguru and make your way over to Mahito.

“Come on patch-face. We’re going to see your movie.” You throw a towel at him and roll your eyes at the excited face he makes. He reminds you so much of a child and sometimes you don’t know why you can’t stand him. 

Later in the day

You arrived at the movie theater and bought one ticket for Human Earthworm 3. Mahito stood next to you eager to get into the theater. There were only a few other people in the theater, a few boys sitting by the front and a lone teenage boy. Good thing you didn’t care about the movie all that much because the boys up front would not shut up. The lone boy sitting at the top left of the theater wore a purple shirt and his dark hair fell over his face. He looked sad but you tried not to think anything of it. 

“Should I shut them up?” Mahito leaned over to whisper in your ear. His words were laced with evil and you could hear the smile across his lips. You shiver at his words but try to play it off.

“If you want, I don’t care.” You wave him off with an annoyed sigh. The boy in purple looked up at you and you imagined he thought you were crazy for talking to yourself. Whatever. You had gone through your wallet during the movie and found your old jujutsu high ID card. Yep, just as you thought you were once a grade-one sorcerer. You flip over your ID and run your fingertips over the scratched-up surface. There was a smiley face drawn in Sharpie that was slightly smudged. That’s right, Satoru drew this. You smiled sweetly to yourself at the memory. He was so annoying back then but you adored him and his goofy self. He was somehow always so cocky. He was beautiful though, he was tall and hadn’t completely grown into his height yet. You remember his messy white hair and his angelic blue eyes. You even remember him stealing your ID card and holding it above your head so you couldn’t reach it. He always made it a point to joke with you about being short. He was always so playful with you. 

Your mind wanders to something darker as you hold the plastic between your two fingers. Were you really going to have to kill him to bring Suguru back? What if he could help you instead? Did he even still care about you or Suguru enough to do that? This all felt so heavy. Were you even going to be able to kill him if he said no? Kenjaku seemed to think you could. Yes, you were once a very strong sorcerer and if you had to guess you’re probably well past a special grade now but that just means he is too. Even back then Satoru was the strongest, he was a special grade even then. You sigh to yourself. You try to remind yourself that you were the descendant of one of the strongest sorcerers in history. You were part of the Kashimo clan, your great-great-great grandfather was titled the god of lightning. You tried to talk yourself into feeling stronger but it wasn’t helping. The truth is Satoru would kill you in an instant if he wanted to. Maybe because you deserved it and wouldn’t fight back or maybe just because you were weak.

Before you knew it Mahito was bored. He no longer had any interest in the movie and you were snapped out of whatever trance you were just in. He stood up and started walking to the exit but not before completely transmuting all three of the boys who were talking during the entire movie. You roll your eyes and follow him out stuffing your ID card back into your wallet and then into your purse. Such a drama queen.

As you’re walking back to the building where your hideout was you hear someone call out to you. You consider ignoring it but then he yells out, “Hey, you, patch-face with the lady!” Suddenly your eyes widen as you turn around to face the same sad boy from earlier—the one who wore purple and had one side of his face covered by his dark hair.

“Y-you can see him?” You blurt out pointing at Mahito, not even acknowledging that he was going to say something first.

“Yeah, and I also saw what he did to them.” He steps back a little, losing the confidence he just had. He seemed sweet and you knew he wasn’t at all a real threat. Suddenly he seemed sweaty and scared. 

“What, were they your friends or something?” Mahito interjects and you allow him to speak to the poor boy. You feel a small drop of water fall on your face and when you look up you notice it's starting to rain. You pull your hood over your head and lean against a wall under an air conditioning unit so you don’t get wet.

“Can I..” he hesitates, “Do that too?” The boy asks while staring down at his feet. There seems to be something troubling him for him to be asking dangerous strangers for help.

“Come on, I’ll show you.” Mahito grins creepily and that was your queue to leave. You didn’t care to listen to him go on and on about curses when he just learned about it not too long ago himself. After all, he was a new curse.

“You two go on without me. Suguru will want to hear about this.” You share one last look at Mahito and the boy before drifting back into the shadows of the alleyway to make your way back to the hideout. 

The next day 

Mahito tells you that the boy's name is Junpei. He can see and manipulate cursed energy and Mahito has taken it upon himself to personally “train” the boy. You’re slightly annoyed but just happy that Mahito won't be bothering you as much anymore. You tell him to be nice to the boy and that if he hurt him in any way, you’ll kill him. You can’t help it, something about him reminded you of a younger Suguru and it warmed your heart. 

Suguru on the other hand didn’t care as much as you thought he would. He was more disappointed to see that you had returned with no news on Satoru’s whereabouts. You promised to go back out today and see what you could find out. You met up with Mahito who happened to be spying on Junpei. Apparently, Junpei had crossed paths with The king of curses, Sukuna’s vessel, Yuji Itadori, a young boy with bright pink hair and a red hood attached to his Jujutsu High uniform. You could feel just how powerful his cursed energy was from a mile back. His aura sent chills down your spine. Everything about Sukuna freaks you out. You’ve only ever heard stories about him as you and Suguru spent a couple of years searching for his twenty fingers. You also remember that your great-great-great grandfather made it his dying wish that one day he would get to fight Sukuna. You guessed that never happened since your grandfather was the one 6 feet under. 

“He told him about us,” Mahito says while playing with the ends of his hair and swinging his feet out beneath him. He was sitting on a park tree near where Junpei and Itadori were talking but was careful to be out of sight.

“What do you mean?” You weren’t following what he was saying.

“Junpei told Itadori that he saw us yesterday and described what we looked like. Should we go ahead and kill him to preserve Geto’s plan?”

“No, that would just stir the pot. Maybe this could work in our favor. We got word from Jogo that Sukuna’s vessel was one of Satoru-I mean- Gojo’s students, right?” Now Mahito was the one not following. His face is full of confusion. You flick him in the forehead, “That means that Gojo will come to us stupid. Now we won't have to find him. He isn’t going to send his weaker sorcerers to fight us knowing that we’re multiple special grades.” 

“Oh, right!” Mahito smiles and turns to face Junpei once more. “I also fought a blonde sorcerer yesterday! Even more the reason to come.” Mahito sings as he continues to swing his feet humming a tune. 

Your heart drops. A blonde sorcerer? Could it be? 

“Mahito… this blonde sorcerer…” you start but your voice gets stuck in your throat. “Did you kill him?” Your throat suddenly felt like pins and needles.

“The businessman? No, it was a pretty even match actually and we had to draw.” 

Nanamin.. Of course, it was him. You anxiously ran your fingers through your hair. Thank god, he’s still alive. You tried to keep tabs on most of your other old classmates, except Satoru. You thought Nanami quit being a sorcerer but maybe your intel was wrong. 

“Please don’t hurt him.” You turn toward Mahito practically begging. 

“I never thought I’d hear you say that Y/N! Wow, you are a softy arentcha? Well, either way, I do what I want.” Mahito gets close to your face and smiles. You had about enough of him and were this close to exorcising him right then and there when you noticed Itadori and Junpei leaving. Killing Kenjaku’s favorite curse would have to wait. The two of you continued to follow Itadori and Junpei.

Later that day 

You had devised a plan. You overheard Kenjaku and Mahito talking, they were going to use Junpei to create a diversion to see how much control Itadori had over Sukuna, or best case scenario, they were planning on getting control over Sukuna’s vessel themselves. 

The whole plan made you sick. Poor Junpei. You knew what you had to do. You had to be there in the shadows to protect Junpei and to leave with Satoru, however you needed to. This was your only hope of saving Suguru. 

When you weren’t sleeping in Dagon’s domain, you were in a room over at the motel you were all staying at. You used to share this room with Suguru and you just couldn’t be alone in there anymore, it was too much. You began packing a few of your things when you heard someone knock on your door softly.

“Come in.” You call out to them. 

The door opens and when you look up you see Mimiko, her long brunette hair laying at her shoulders and her body language makes it seem like she has been tiptoeing around Kenjaku herself. You can’t believe how much she has grown since you and Suguru found her and her twin sister years ago. For a long time, you all felt like a family. You and Suguru even used to make sweet jokes about how Mimiko and Nanako were your daughters. You once asked Suguru if he thought if you had children together ironically you would also have twin daughters. He chuckled but you knew deep down he never wanted to bring more kids into the world. Sometimes you wish your relationship with him could’ve been different. You would’ve really loved just being about to go on dates and worry about paying rent with your normal careers. Maybe you both would’ve worked at Nanami’s office and made Fridays your movie nights and Tuesdays would be when you invited Shoko, Nanami, and Haibara over for Dinner. Satoru would come sometimes when he wasn’t busy with his new girl of the week. Sadly though, that was all just a dream; but maybe in another life, it wasn’t just a dream. 

“It’s just me.” You say and turn to continue packing with a straight face.

“Oh, okay,” she immediately relaxes. “Where are you going?”

You completely ignored her question, you didn’t want her to start getting worked up. “Where is Nanako, I want to say goodbye to the both of you.” 

“You’re leaving us? No! You can’t, please don’t leave us here with him.” Her voice cracks and it breaks your heart. They both have been through so much. 

You rush over to her to quickly stop her from crying. You lower your voice so that it is above a whisper while you gently rub her shoulder, “It’s okay, it’s not for good. I’m doing this for us Mimiko, I am going to get help so that we can get Suguru back.”

“Really?” She questions while sniffling. 

“Yes, but I need to hurry before he notices. Can you cover for me?” 

“Well, Nanako is with him…” 

“Where?” You say with slight irritation in your voice.

“Upstairs.”

You give her a big hug before making your way up the dirty motel staircase. Luckily, you see Nanako’s blonde hair coming around the corner and she is alone. You run up to her and give her a big hug as well. 

“I love you. Tell Mimiko I love her too. She’ll explain everything.” You don’t even give her a chance to ask any questions before taking off down the other side of the outside hallway. You try to be stealthy and quiet but you’re not quiet enough. Suddenly an arm reaches out to you, jolting you to a stop. It was him. His grip made you wince once more.

“And where are you going, Y/N?” He asks with a borderline sinister smile. You shudder as you go to look at him trying your hardest to pretend like everything is fine. 

“I’m going on your secret mission, remember? I just said goodbye to our daughters.” You hiss up at him. This time you look directly into his eyes so that he feels your anger. 

He didn’t seem to like this, he reached out and grabbed your throat to pull you closer to him. Your teeth clench together and cry out in pain. He’s not quite choking you but he’s holding you hard enough to leave bruises behind. 

“Good luck then.” He mutters in your ear. When he pulls away he places a small chaste kiss on your lips making your heart flutter a little. The entire interaction was giving you whiplash. You figured this was his way of saying ‘Don’t betray me or I’ll kill you’. He lets go of your throat and you cough trying to catch your breath.

You look at him with hate in your eyes one last time before turning and running down the motel stairs. You had one more stop to make for your grand plan to work. Mahito. 

The next day

You wake up the next day in a room unfamiliar to you. The night before you had left your motel and went to a hotel that was closer to Jujutsu High. You showered and put on a little bit of makeup. As you were getting dressed in your family's traditional attire you couldn’t help but feel nervous. Today you were going to see Satoru. What if he didn’t want to see you? Who were you kidding of course he didn’t. You would be lucky if he paid you any mind at all. But what if you had to fight him? Your heart was beating out of your chest as you put on your all-white haori. As you wrapped bandages around your fists and lower arms you breathed out deeply preparing for the worst. You pulled your hair back into two buns and grabbed your quarterstaff before leaving for the school. It had been a long time since you’d had to fight anyone let alone dress in your traditional attire.

You arrive at the school that you heard Mahito mention to Kenjaku the day before. It was the school where Junpei attended. You decided to keep your distance from the fight because you couldn’t give up your position or your plan. When you walk toward the back of the school you see the veil had already been lowered. This was Mahito’s viel which means Kenjaku wasn’t here. He most likely didn’t want to run into Satoru to raise any red flags about your arrival. When you entered the viel you hoped that Mahito had noticed your energy like you planned. You walked through the school and up the stairs. It was dead, where was everyone? There was glass all over the floors from the windows. They must’ve already started fighting. 

You turn the corner to where you thought you heard fighting and that's when you see him. Junpei. No, no, no, you were supposed to protect him. You were too late. Mahito had already gotten his hands on him and turned him into a transmuted beast. You clench your eyes shut as you walk past his body. Your heart sinks and your face twists in anger. Maybe the next part of your plan would be real then. Mahito of course will think you’re putting on a show for the sorcerors like you had planned.

When you walk over to the windowsill you see them. Sukuna’s vessel, Itadori and Nanami were fighting Mahito. Quite frankly, Mahito was getting his ass whooped. You wanted to see how this would play out but that's when you realized one of the most important parts of your plan. Satoru isn’t here. Where was he? Why did they only send Nanami? 

You take a deep breath. Okay, you had two choices. Bail or improvise. You chose the latter. 

With a war cry and your charged cursed energy, you jump from the window and land behind Itadori and Nanami. You tap into your rage and your hair starts emitting cursed lightning that bounces from each of your buns. Your eyes began glowing yellow and you lightly tap your quarterstaff on the ground causing the school courtyard to shake.

“MAHITO!” You scream at the top of your lungs, haste dripping from your tongue. Just as planned, Mahito would change direction and start fighting you. 

Both Itadori and Nanami look your way. Itadori is extremely confused about whether or not you’re also an enemy and when he starts to make his way toward you Nanami reaches his arm out to stop him. He looks back at Nanami and he simply shakes his head signaling him to trust him. 

Mahito then takes the opportunity to shape himself into a giant spiked beast and attempts to slice you where you stand. You jump over his additional spiked body parts and use one of his arms as leverage to jump across to the other side of the courtyard. He tries to hit you again and you redirect his hand using taijutsu and infuse your quarterstaff with cursed lightning and hit him directly in the chest. The impact makes him fly across the courtyard and he starts shaking from the electrical energy in the blast. Damn, you need to dial it back a bit if you want this to be believable. You turn toward Nanami and Itadori. Your eyes meet Nanami’s and your heart flutters in your chest, you haven’t seen him since his hair was long. He was so tall and cute and now he is a big, strong man. His blue dress shirt is snug across his chest and you’re just completely surprised by how much he's grown. His cheeks were much more defined and he was aging like wine. He still wore his signature frown.

Perfect moment to be distracted. Mahito takes the opportunity you give him and turns his arms into little spikes. He pierces the back of your thigh causing you to scream out in pain. What was he doing? This wasn’t the plan. You cry out as you feel two more spikes go through your gut. When he pulls them out you look down to see your all-white haori covered in blood, your blood. Well so much for dialing it back, you trusted Mahito enough to not kill you but maybe that was his plan all along. This fake fight was a ploy for him to kill you.

“Y/N!” Nanami yells out as he runs over to catch you before you fall. 

“N-na-namin” you respond breathlessly as you fall to your knees. There was blood pouring from your mouth. Nanami catches you and you hold your stomach as you shake in his arms. Did Kenjaku know your plan all along? Why would Mahito kill you? You felt yourself slipping out of consciousness and all you could think about was the fact that you wouldn’t get to see Satoru after all. Maybe this was for the best. If you can’t be with Suguru you don’t care whether you lived or died. 

As your eyes start to close you can feel Nanami squeeze you tighter as he hugs you against his chest. You hear Itadori yell out that Mahito is getting away and Nanami tells him to let him go, and that it wasn’t worth it. Then you hear Itadori ask if Nanami knew who you were to which he replied, “Yes, I know her well.” 

---

Two days later

You wake up to the smell of cigarettes and hear muffled talking in the background. When you sit up frantically in shock you see that you are handcuffed to the bed. You begin to panic, your charged cursed energy threatening to spill out until you realize that you recognize where you are. You’re in the medical office at Jujutsu High. You’ve been here for many injuries, most of which were self-inflicted from your training with Satoru. Damn, his stupid infinity, your attacks would almost always bounce back causing you to get hurt. When you look down you see your thigh wrapped in bandages as well as your lower abdomen. 

“That special grade curse got you pretty good.” You scoff at the statement that Mahito was a special grade curse. Screw him. But wait, you know that voice, that sweet voice coated with years of cigarettes and liquor.

“Shoko?” You yell out whipping your head back and forth to search for her.

“Hey squirt, it’s me don’t get all frizzy on me now.” She wheels her chair over to your bed and stands to take your temperature while simultaneously rubbing your head trying to stir up your electrical cursed energy. That’s right, she always called you that because you were a little younger and a little shorter than her. She also loved annoying you by making your hair frizzy. You didn’t even care that she was making your hair a mess, a huge smile was plastered across your face. She looks much older, you bet it's from her bad smoking and drinking habits. She’s still beautiful though, just has dark circles under her eyes and her hair is much much longer. She’s still the same Shoko. God how you missed her. 

“Why am I chained to the bed?” You ask but you already know the answer to that question. 

“You know why squirt…” Her face drops and she wheels away from your bed now. 

“Well, what happens now? Am I to be executed now that I am in the school's possession again?” You ask with a small laugh but deep down you have a genuine concern that that might be the case, this was one of the reasons you never came back after deserting the school with Suguru. 

“You know there are very strong people here that would never allow that to happen.”

Was she talking about Satoru? She had to be. Unless someone else from your class sprouted up and became strong enough to overpower those in charge. You decide to assume she’s talking about Satoru.

“I’m not so sure about that. Last time I saw him he seemed perfectly okay with the idea of me dying.” Your voice gets quiet as you say this, it’s as if the wound is still fresh. You don’t allow her to say anything to that, “Anyways, where is he?”

“He got back yesterday, as soon as he heard you were here.” Suddenly there are butterflies in your stomach. You thought you were going to die at Mahito’s hand but it seems he missed all of your vitals. So you get to see Satoru after all. Why were you suddenly so nervous?

Without warning, the big metal door to the facility opens and you see Shoko stand to greet whoever it is. Part of you hoped it was Satoru and the other part of you was scared shitless. 

“Y/N.” A stern male’s voice states your name causing you to jump a little.

Your eyes start watering, “Nanamin?” You turn your head to see him walking over to you. 

“You know I hate when you call me that.” Nanami gets closer to your bed and unlocks your handcuffs freeing you. You giggle at his defensiveness, it’s good to see he hasn’t gotten any more expressive with his emotions. You jump into his arms and hug him. He is reluctant to return your hug but he ultimately does. You’ve missed him so so much. 

“Why are you freeing me?” You step back and rub your wrists looking down to see they’re starting to bruise. When you reach up you feel a bandage around your neck too. You look at Shoko confused until you remember the moment you had with Kenjaku before you left. You rub the bandage gently reminding you of why you’re here. He had hurt you. You want Suguru back.

“We have some questions.” He reaches around your back and puts new handcuffs around your wrists. He is gentle with his movements though so that he doesn’t hurt you. You sigh, just when you thought you were free. You understood why though, it was going to take a lot of work for anyone here to trust you again. Nanami walks you down the hall to Principal Gakugangi’s office. Memories of this hallway flood your brain. You remember the time you, Satoru, and Suguru raced down this hallway. Of course, Satoru won because he had the longest legs.

You’re brought to a room next to the principal’s office that has a chair seated at the front of the room directly under multiple TV screens. Across from that, there were a bunch of seats that were set up auditorium style. All of your old teachers and classmates were already seated, all except Satoru. You started to explain to ex-principal Yaga and principal Gakuganji why you were there. It was as if you were reading from a script. It was the story you fabricated to get here, although most of it was true. You told Shoko, Nanami, Utahime, Mei-Mei, Gakuganji and Yaga. You wished Satoru was here to listen but you figured there was a reason he wasn’t. You went on about how after you left Jujutsu High years and years ago with Suguru he was possessed by Kenjaku and forced you to work for him. You lied and told them how you heard that Mahito could transmute souls and that you went looking for him to help touch Suguru’s soul to kill Kenjaku inside of him. Everything in your story came together so perfectly, you mentioned how you were fighting Mahito at the school because he had betrayed you and told Suguru your plan and was ultimately trying to kill you. This explained why Itadori told them Junpei saw you at the movies with Mahito and why you were trying to kill him afterward. 

Finally, Utahime spoke up and asked, “Why did you never come back to us, Y/N?” She sounded so dejected as she said this. You were starting to regret coming back at all, it was already stirring up way too many old emotions that you thought you tucked away years ago.

This question hit harder than you expected it to. Your chest started to feel tight. You held your wrists together to wipe your face of the tears that were now spilling out on their own. Bending forward you rest your head in your arms before continuing, “I wanted to come back, trust me I did!” You pause and look at all your old friends sitting on the edge of their seats listening to you with such care in their eyes. “I was scared because of the death penalty and also I wanted to protect you guys the best I could from Suguru, h-he was not himself.” You sniffle and stare down at your bound hands, you internally debate saying this last part but they deserve to know, “a-and, I loved him.” You hesitantly correct yourself, “I do love him.” You’re suddenly brought back to the first few years together with Suguru after you both had abandoned Jujutsu High. You were severely depressed and would cry almost every night to Suguru about how you missed everyone at Jujutsu High and how you wanted to go back. He would comfort you but couldn’t understand your reasoning. He didn’t ask you to follow him and he never really understood why you did. He did, however, reassure you of his love whenever you need it. You don’t think he ever felt sad about his past which allowed him to pour himself into both you and his purpose. 

You watch as everyone’s eyes quickly dart toward the door behind you. When you look over your shoulder with puffy eyes you see what they were looking at. You finally see him. The strongest sorcerer, the man who held the innate gift of the six eyes, your old classmate, your first love, Satoru Gojo. He is, where do you even begin? If your heart wasn’t hurting so bad you could probably talk about how he was taller than the door frame for hours. His hair was slightly longer than you remember and still as white as snow. It sat perfectly on top of his head with a black blindfold that covered his beautiful blue eyes that had been burned into your memory for years. He upgraded from the little black sunglasses you used to steal from him. His lips looked as soft as you remember and when you look down you see his arms crossed over his chest. His arms look so much bigger now that he has grown into his lanky self. He looks strong and his hands are huge. You can’t even focus, the room was spinning and your heart was beating out of your chest. How embarrassing. No one said a thing. You hated that you couldn’t see his eyes. You knew him though, more than probably anyone else in the room. Your presence made him uneasy and nervous just as much as yours did his. He continued to stare at you through his blindfold. Everyone fell into an unbearable silence. It felt like you were swallowing nails every time you took a breath. You wanted him to scream or yell at you, you wanted him to do something other than what he was doing. Your eyes were begging him to take you away from all the eyes in the room so that you could talk one-on-one, but he wouldn’t do that. Not anymore. You wanted to know if he still cared at all if he even missed you.

“I thought I told you not to get distracted in a fight,” Satoru speaks in a calm voice but his posture stiffens against the door as he speaks.

You open your mouth to reply but instead, Principal Yaga interjects and stands before you causing you to turn your attention to him. You just wanted to be anywhere but here. You were now very unsure about whether or not Satoru would allow the higher-ups to kill you or not. Suddenly you feel very small and weak.

“The Kyoto sister school exchange event is about to begin,” he gruffs in annoyance and points to the TVs above your head. “We’re done for today. Gojo, she is your responsibility, put her in the talisman room until we figure out what to do with her.” 

Your head shifts from Principal Yaga to Satoru, suddenly very nervous. The talisman room is where sorcerers bring special-grade human-like curses, “evil” sorcerers, or anyone who poses a threat to the sorcerer world. It was like a holding cell that drained all your cursed energy. It was where the school put those who were on death row. You freeze in your chair when you see Nanami coming over to drag you out of the room.

“N-Nanamin, please, no,” you beg, catching a sob in your throat. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” His eyes seem sincere but you knew he had no choice. He walks you over to Satoru who takes the chains on your wrist without saying a word. He is neither gentle nor harsh in the way he leads you down the hall. A tense silence falls around you. This is the closest you’ve been to him in years and you just want things to go back to the way they were. You’re too scared to look at him so you stare at the ground rethinking this whole thing. Should you try to fight Satoru here and now? No, he’s too strong and the others would be behind him. Should you make a break for it and run back to Suguru? No. You stop abruptly causing Satoru’s infinity to hit you causing you to lose your balance. He had his infinity up around you? This was ultimately a test to see if he still trusts you, even a little, but the answer was no. Your heart breaks, things are never going to be the same. Now that you are out of the sight of the others you turn to Satoru as much as your position allows, your last hope was talking to him.

“Satoru,” You hum his name, it coming out much sweeter than you meant for it to. “Please, l-listen to me.” You look up at him and try to ignore how he towers over you. He tilts his head down at you. You’re still unable to see his eyes so you just assume he’s looking at you. “I-I know you don’t trust me anymore…” Your voice wavers as you say this. “But, you’re in danger. Please list-” 

“’m the strongest.” His voice is gruff and cold as he cuts you off. It’s his way of saying ‘Shut up, no I’m not’. 

You start pulling your arms away from him to get him to understand how serious this is. He eventually gives way and you’re now facing him with your hands behind your back. He cockily puts his hands in his pocket allowing you to continue talking. He is straight-faced and almost looks bored. Oh, how you wished you could see his signature Satoru Gojo smile. 

“Suguru has been possessed by a very strong cursed spirit who has lived many lifetimes. He is planning on sealing you away!” Your voice strains as you try to plead with him. 

“Suguru is dead,” His voice is still just as monotone as before. “I should know, I’m the one who killed him.” 

First, your heart drops. Then your eyes widen and your muscles tense up. “What?” You grumble through gritted teeth as you slowly blink up at him as your mind tries to wrap around what he just said. The electric cursed energy you possess begins to flow through you in anger. You can feel the static electricity start to form between the two buns in your hair, like a radio frequency. Your hair begins to float from the friction. Suddenly your arms are free from their shackles. You must’ve tensed up so much that your strength snapped them off.

“That was you?” You say with furrowed brows as your feet naturally start to take a fighting pose. You remember when Kenjaku came back in Suguru’s place that day and explained that he found his body ‘without a host’, aka dead. You didn’t believe it, you never did. Who could’ve possibly killed him? Whoever it was had to be strong, you never guessed it would be Satoru. He was his best friend. And Suguru was still in there. He had to be.

“You know I had to do it. Don’t start this Y/N, you know I’d win.” His hands were still in his pockets and now he was just getting on your nerves. You hated that the first time you heard him say your name again was under these circumstances. 

“You’re just going to have to kill me too,” Your tears stop and you reach your arm out to summon your quarterstaff using your cursed wavelength, after a moment it shatters a window and is in your grip, “Gojo.” You twirl your staff around your head and tap it on the ground making the rest of the windows in the hall shatter. You revert to his last name and for a split second, you think you see him release a pained breath but you no longer care. There was no going back for either of you. You were now enemies. 

You run at him at full speed while building up your cursed energy in your staff. You had no idea how you were going to get him to turn off his infinity but you were okay with it ending here. There was something so beautiful about dying at Satoru’s hand. As soon as you’re close enough, you jump above him and hit right where his head would be. You can see your attack absorbed by his infinity. However, the floor and the wall behind him weren’t as lucky. They both take a huge hit and crumble away. Why wasn’t he fighting back? Why wasn’t he killing you?

Attack after attack after attack, he just allows you to come at him. You’re extremely angry and you feel like you’re going to explode. You throw your quarterstaff at the wall frustrated and instead walk up to him preparing to try hand-to-hand combat. Your lips are trembling now, you’re a sobbing mess. He finally pulls his hands out of his pockets as you incessantly pound on his infinity until you feel it slowly dwindle. Then your arms make contact with his chest. Tears run down your cheeks as your arms feel his heartbeat where they are resting against him  It even annoyed you that his heartbeat came out slower and calmer than yours. Who were you kidding, you didn’t pose a threat to him at all. You may be a special-grade sorcerer but your weakness was him, and maybe you were his too. You fall into him completely exhausted from over-exerting yourself. He allows your forehead to rest on his heart completely swallowed by sadness. You finally gave in and cried your heart out into his chest. He then slowly reaches up to grab your arms, his touch is hesitant but still gentle. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to touch you but does so anyway. He ever so slightly rubs his thumb across your wrist making you raise your head to look at him. Your eyes were wet, your lips were red, and your hair messily fell around your face. You still couldn’t see his eyes, those beautiful eyes, and that stupid blindfold.

“He’s not dead. He can’t be.” You plead again, not even sure what you’re expecting from him anymore. “I-I love him, Satoru.” You can’t believe you’re sitting here telling him this, crying into his chest like you once did what felt like lifetimes ago now,  “I know you once loved him too, he was your best friend. Please, plea-” 

He brings his hand up to your cheek and caresses it softly before bringing his two forefingers up to your forehead and gently draining you of all your energy, ultimately putting you to sleep. Your eyes roll back in your head and you fall limp into his arms. Satoru leans down to pick you up bridal style before walking over to your quarterstaff and picking it up in one swift motion. You were so light in his arms. Your head lulls on his chest as he carries you to the talisman room. Your hair was completely out of place and your lips were slightly parted as if this was the most comfortable sleep you had gotten in a while. He can't help but stare at you through his blindfold as his chest tightens with emotion. You were the same girl he fell in love with years ago, you just matured and there was a certain confidence in the way you carried yourself that you didn’t do before. Your hair was much longer and your cheeks had thinned out a bit with age. It was so strange seeing you again, now his heart was starting to beat fast. He honestly never thought he’d see you again. When he ran into Suguru last year he was sure you would be with him, fighting alongside him… but you weren't. He had hoped that meant you ran away from it all and maybe even married a nice ordinary man, someone you wanted to marry, settled down, had a family like you always talked about, and abandoned sorcery altogether. But here you were not only before his very eyes but in his arms again, still tied up with his best friend and still tied up with jujutsu sorcery. He wondered what you had been through all this time away from him. He had tried to move on, he did. He’s been on plenty of dates with other women and he even tried pursuing both Utahime and Shoko, they were the closest thing he could get and it wasn’t close at all. Shoko knew he was trying to fill your void and she respected herself too much to give in to his motives. Utahime on the other hand liked him back and for a while, they tried dating but in the end, they just weren’t compatible. None of them were you, you hurt way too much. How was it fair that in the end, you chose Suguru? Did you not love him too? Did you just love him more? Why didn’t you stay?

Satoru was suddenly very thankful that you were asleep and that he had a blindfold on, his tears escaped anyway. 

He walked past his room with you in his arms. Part of him wanted to lay you on his bed in hopes that you would wake up and this would all just be a bad dream. You would be back in 2006 laying in his bed again but instead of thinking with his heart, he went with his head. He brought you to the talisman room, sat you in the chair in the center of the room, and left to return to watch the Kyoto Sister School Exchange event.

[dosesofcommonsense]

FAMOUS ATHEISTS' LAST WORDS BEFORE DEATH:

1. ANTON LEVEY—Author of the Satanic Bible and high priest of the religion dedicated to the worship of Satan. One of his famous quotes was: “There is a beast in man that needs to be exercised, not exorcised”. His dying words were: "Oh my, oh my, what have I done, there is something very wrong. . . there is something very wrong.”

2. GANDHI—At his death, he said, “For the first time in 50 years, I find myself in the slough of despond. All about me is darkness. . .I am praying for light.”

3. THOMAS PAYNE—The leading atheistic writer in American colonies: "Stay with me, for God's sake; I cannot bear to be left alone , O Lord, help me! O God, what have I done to suffer so much? What will become of me hereafter? I would give worlds if I had them, that The Age of Reason had never been published. 0 Lord, help me! Christ, help me! No, don't leave; stay with me! Send even a child to stay with me; for I am on the edge of hell here alone. If ever the Devil had an agent, I have been that one."

4. SIR THOMAS SCOTT—Chancellor of England: "Until this moment I thought there was neither a God nor a hell. Now I know and feel that there are both, and I am doomed to perdition by the just judgment of the Almighty."

5. VOLTAIRE—famous anti-christian atheist: "I have swallowed nothing but smoke. I have intoxicated myself with the incense that turned my head. I am abandoned by God and man.” He said to his physician, Dr. Fochin: “I will give you half of what I am worth if you will give me six months of life." When he was told this was not possible, he said “Then I shall die and go to hell!" His nurse said: “For all the money in Europe I wouldn’t want to see another unbeliever die! All night long he cried for forgiveness.”

6. ROBERT INGERSOLL—American writer and orator during the Golden Age of Free Thought: "O God, if there be a God, save my soul, if I have a soul!" Some say it was said this way: "Oh God, if there be a God, save my soul, if I have a soul, from hell, if there be a hell!

7. DAVID HUME—Atheist philosopher famous for his philosophy of empiricism and skepticism of religion: He cried loud on his death bed "I am in flames!" It is said his desperation was a horrible scene.

8. NAPOLEON BONAPARTE—French emperor who, like Adolf Hitler, brought death to millions to satisfy his greedy, power-mad, selfish ambitions for world conquest: "I die before my time, and my body will be given back to the earth. Such is the fate of him who has been called the great Napoleon. What an abyss between my deep misery and the eternal kingdom of Christ!”

9. SIR FRANCIS NEWPORT—Head of an English Atheist club, to those gathered around his deathbed: "You need not tell me there is no God, for I know there is one, and that I am in his presence! You need not tell me there is no hell. I feel myself already slipping. Wretches, cease your idle talk about there being hope for me! I know I am lost forever! Oh, that fire! Oh, the insufferable pangs of hell! Oh, that I could lie for a thousand years upon the fire that is never quenched, to purchase the favor of God and be united to Him again. But it is a fruitless wish. Millions and millions of years will bring me no nearer the end of my torments than one poor hour. Oh, eternity, eternity forever and forever! Oh, the insufferable pangs of Hell!”

10. CHARLES IX—The French king. Urged on by his mother, he gave the order for the massacre of the French Huguenots, in which 15,000 souls were slaughtered in Paris alone and 100,000 in other sections of France, for no other reason than that they loved Christ. The guilty king suffered miserably for years after that event. He finally died, bathed in blood bursting from his veins. To his physicians, he said in his last hours: "Asleep or awake, I see the mangled forms of the Huguenots passing before me. They drop with blood. They point at their open wounds. Oh! That I had spared at least the little infants at the bosom! What blood! I know not where I am. How will all this end? What shall I do? I am lost forever! I know it. Oh, I have done wrong."

11. DAVID STRAUSS—Leading representative of German rationalism, after spending a lifetime erasing belief in God from the minds of others: "My philosophy leaves me utterly forlorn! I feel like one caught in the merciless jaws of an automatic machine, not knowing at what time one of its great hammers may crush me!"

12. JOSEF STALIN—Soviet Georgian revolutionary and politician. In a Newsweek interview with Svetlana Stalin, the daughter of Josef Stalin, she told of her father's death: "My father died a difficult and terrible death. . .God grants an easy death only to the just. At what seemed the very last moment, he suddenly opened his eyes and cast a glance over everyone in the room. It was a terrible glance, insane or perhaps angry. His left hand was raised, as though he were pointing to something above and bringing down a curse on us all. The gesture was full of menace. . .the next moment he was dead."

13. CAESAR BORGIA—Italian nobleman, politician, and cardinal: "While I lived, I provided for everything but death; now I must die, and am unprepared to die."

14. THOMAS HOBBS—Political philosopher: "I say again, if I had the whole world at my disposal, I would give it to live one day. I am about to take a leap into the dark."

******************

BELOVED, compare these last words from atheists, with these last words, from these saints of God:

THE APOSTLE PAUL: “O death, where is thy sting?”

KING DAVID: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no Evil.”

AUGUSTUS MONTAGUE TOPLADY (1710-1778): Toplady will ever be famous as the author of one of the most evangelical hymns of the eighteenth century, "Rock of Ages," which was first published in 1776.

During the final illness, Toplady was greatly supported by the consolations of the gospel: "The consolations of God, to so unworthy a wretch, are so abundant that he leaves me nothing to pray for but their continuance."

Near his last, awaking from a sleep, he said: "Oh, what delights! Who can fathom the joy of the third heaven? The sky is clear, there is no cloud; come Lord Jesus, come quickly!" He died saying:"No mortal man can live after the glories which God has manifested to my soul."

Lastly, JESUS CHRIST said: “I Am the Resurrection and the Life. He that believeth on Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.”

Only fools never learn from history, and it's amazing that even in our days, with all these facts on our fingertips, someone with a mind can devote his entire life to a delusion, and want everyone to know that there is no God. No wonder the bible says,

"Only fools say in their hearts, there is no God." (Psalm 14:1).“

[scoobydoodean]

Okay so. I've said a lot of this already in one place or another, but making a dedicated post about the slippery slope of drinking demon blood for referencing.

Sam tells himself in early season 4 that drinking demon blood is good because by using his powers, he can save the victim of possession, whereas Ruby's knife kills them (4.04). He repeats this framing in the beginning of 5.02, saying that he wishes he could still save victims of possession. Wanting to save victims of possession is a very compelling argument in my opinion. The problem is that as the season goes on, we see drinking demon blood has side effects, which eventually consume Sam's good intentions.

First, because drinking demon blood reduces your inhibitions to a point where you eventually don't care about the "good" reasons you were drinking it to begin with anymore. We get the best possible example of this in 4.20, where Sam, going through withdrawal, becomes so desperate for a hit of demon blood that he tackles a demon, cuts her neck open, and drinks her blood while Dean and Cas (who didn't even know Sam was drinking blood) watch. Right after getting his fill, guess what Sam does? Plunge the demon knife into the demon's chest, killing the host, instead of using his powers to expel the demon from her body. We know the demon blood works quickly and that Sam consumed enough to be capable of exorcising, because a few seconds later, he does exorcize the demon from Amelia Novak's body. Watching his face, you can tell at that point that it's about the high of it—the display of power.

As War tells Sam in 5.02:

I can see inside your head. And man, it is one-track city in there. Blood, blood, blood. Lust for power. Same as always. You want to be strong again. But not just strong. Stronger than everybody. Good intentions—quick slide to hell, buddy boy.

As Sam himself says in 5.02:

From the minute I saw that blood, only thought in my head...and I tell myself it's for the right reasons, my intentions are good, and it, it feels true, you know? But I think, underneath...I just miss the feeling. 

As Pam tells Sam in 4.15:

I can feel what's inside of you. If you think you have good intentions, think again.

As Chuck suggests in 4.18:

I don't know. Maybe the demon blood makes you feel stronger? More in control?

In 4.22, Sam also casts aside those initial good intentions quite overtly, and it makes him question everything because he realizes he's betrayed one of his initial "good" intentions.

RUBY I don't get it. All the demons you cut with the knife -- what do you think happens to the host? How is this any different? SAM Is that supposed to make me feel better? RUBY I know that you're having a tough time here, Sam, but we're in the final lap here. Now is not the time to grow a persqueeter. SAM Would you drop the friggin' attitude? I'm about to bleed and drink an innocent woman. While she watches.

In this post, I also lay out the timeline of Sam's demon blood drinking with the way he talks about Dean's trauma and connect his consumption of demon blood to his lack of sympathy.

Second, drinking demon blood gives you a growing appetite, whether you want it to or not. 4.21:

RUBY Your appetite's gotten much bigger. SAM What's that supposed to mean? RUBY Sam, relax. It's okay. It's good. Just means you're getting stronger, that's all.

You need more and more blood just to maintain. Eventually, more than one person can provide without dying:

RUBY Meantime, if you're gonna be strong enough to kill Lilith, you're gonna need more than I can give you now.

Which translates to 4.22, when Sam is heavily implied to drain a meatsuit of all her blood so he's strong enough to face Lilith. Say that Sam hadn't gotten the "supernatural methadone" treatment in 5.01 when God landed them on the plane. What does his appetite look like after drinking that much blood? How much do you think he'd need just to maintain—just to keep from dying slowly and painfully from withdrawal? The trajectory of that growing appetite means you eventually need so much blood just to feel okay that you have to drink from dozens of demons (who are very likely not going to be consenting demons with ethically sourced meatsuits at that point) to maintain without killing people, and in your desperation, you very likely will kill people, just like Sam kills a demon meatsuit in 4.20 without actually caring about the host anymore.

It isn't that being able to exorcise demons while saving the host isn't a nice perk. It's that demon blood is a highly addictive substance for which you develop a growing appetite with consistent use, and it alters your inhibitions so that whatever your initial intentions may have been, you eventually won't care about them anymore and all that will matter is how the demon blood makes you feel.

[le-morte-d-belle]

Wow, how have I not posted this oneshot on here yet?

Title: Kiss Me

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Main Characters: Reader/YN; Gojo Satoru

Pairing: Gojo x Reader

Warnings: RomCom

Notes: A one-shot about Y/N's feelings for Gojo and her need for clarity. Primarily Y/N focused and features a female Jujutsu reader but doesn't have any specifying characteristics other than "she." Reader's ability is created by me, but feel free to ask me more about it.

Possibly will turn into a story, but for now, it is a stand-alone story.

Summary:  "She hated that her heart was so enraptured at the thought of this man. It disgusted her knowing that one smile would cause her mind to shut down." Gojo was a tease. One minute you could be flirting with him, and the next, he'd have you at arms link. Y/N had been paired with Gojo for months now, and she still hadn't figured him out, yet. There was only thing she knew for sure: She wanted him to kiss her.

"Kiss me."

     "Ooo, I like it when you make commands."

     "That's not what— never mind. Just...just kiss me, okay?"

     "And, if I say no?"

     "What? I thought...are you...wait! Wait! God, this is already embarrassing enough. Just, stop teasing me already, Satoru!"

     "Man, you're no fun tonight."

     "Fun?" Y/N huffed, visibly flushing further in her discomfort, "Fun? Really, that's what you're taking away from all this? I literally just asked you to kiss me and all you can say is I'm not any fun? You know what, forget I asked."

     She had made to turn away and leave Gojo to his own devices— there wasn't any point in continuing to go back and forth with him if all he was going to do was tease her. Besides, why stay when this whole interaction, their relationship, was apparently nothing more than some form of entertainment for him. Gojo made her out to be some sort of toy. Y/N was here to perform for her "master" whenever he wished for her to and she was sick of it.

     "Aw, come on! Don't be like that." Gojo laughed, "I can't help it. I have this love for seeing you all riled up. Once I catch a glimpse of those flushed cheeks, I can't stop myself from chasing that high!"

     Y/N rolled her eyes at that. Gojo was the best Jujutsu Sorcerer and smooth talker in all of Japan. He had a way of making people feel like the most important thing in the world, while somehow still being able to mock them in one way or another. He didn't love seeing her "all riled up," Gojo loved seeing everyone riled up. This wasn't something special they shared. It wasn't even something he exclusively did to her. Y/N had been warned, scolded and harassed for her involvement with him— told numerous times to try and avoid him at every cost. Yet, as much as she tried to apply the advice given, Y/N didn't really get a choice on who she was sent on missions with. That was the fault of all those old, stuffy sorcerers and their compatibility in Jujutsu.

     Yet, Gojo was a god.

     He was the only man in this generation who could control the space between and manipulate cursed energy any way he saw fit. An untouchable being with the knowledge of just how untouchable he was. Gojo could act like a jester all he wanted but in the end, even a god seeking some fun was still a god when everything was said and done.

     Y/N was nothing compared to a god.

     Sure, the Elders here in Japan might have deemed her a Special Grade, but back in the States, she barely passed as a Semi-First Grade. There was nothing special about her. The technique gifted to her hadn't done more than allow others to bring up her shitty family as an afterthought in most conversations. Honestly, what was so great about being able to temporarily "dampen" someone's cursed energy usage or completely exorcise a cursed spirit without the use of other Jujutsu techniques? It wasn't worth the "Special Grade" title, not when she was pretty sure the latter part of her Jutsushiki was a common ability among the Sorcerer world.

     Nevertheless though, Y/N found herself stuck with Gojo as a partner and mentor who was suppose to be helping her nurture her abilities. Everyone could talk all the shit they wanted about Satoru Gojo, but none of them had to deal with him like she did. And none of them would have been able to stop her from falling for him like she had.

     God, she hated it.

     She hated that her heart was so enraptured at the thought of this man. It disgusted her knowing that one smile would cause her mind to shut down. Y/N wanted to rip her eyes out so they'd stop seeking him, and maybe sow her mouth shut in the process because it wasn't like talking was doing much for her anyways. How hard was it to not be affected by every little thing he did? How much more of a fool was Y/N to become before she could finally be herself again?

     "I hate you."

     "Hey, hey! I thought we were having a moment here?"

     "So did I but ya' know, no. The only thing that's happening here, is me leaving your ass to deal with that First Grade by yourself. Not that you needed me anyways. Have fun, asshole!"

     "Now, now, there's no need to be upset. I wasn't trying to embarrass you or anything. However, how does one respond to being told to kiss someone?"

     "Huh? Oh, uh, well...I...that's no—"

     "Not what you meant? But you did tell me to kiss you, right? And here I thought consent was very important!"

     "What? No! Wait! Yes! Hold on! Yeah, I mean yes! Consent is very important but that's...that's not what I was trying to get at and you know it!"

     "Do I?"

     "You know what? No. Just stop. I wasn't trying to force you to kiss me, okay? I just really, really wanted to stop playing these games with you. God! Like one moment you're flirting with me and the next you're treating like I'm the butt of all your jokes. I don't even know what you want from me half the time! Are we flirting? Is this a thing? Is what I think happening actually happening? Like is there really a thing going on between us or am I just trippin' out? Because let me tell you, I rather it be the latter so I can go ahead and bury these feelings I somehow developed for you and call it a day?"

     "Whoa. That's kind of a lot to take in."

     It was. It really was a lot to take in and Y/N desperately needed someone to tell her why she thought unloading all this information while the two of them were supposed to be hunting down a First Grade cursed spirit was the perfect time to do so. This wasn't how she had planned to approach the topic. It definitely wasn't what she had wanted to tell Gojo. Or, well, yes? She did tell him to kiss her but Y/N thought the two of them were having another "moment."

     What, with the moon full and blooming with light. Or with the gentle breeze that seemed to be pushing the two of them closer. It didn't help that Gojo made her feel like she was the center of all his attention, even though she subconsciously knew she couldn't be— would never be. Except, Y/N couldn't stop herself from allowing Gojo to make her feel that way or allowing Gojo to be the center of hers. For god's sake, the man even saved her from falling flat on her face like the cliché romcom she had thought they'd found themselves in.

     But maybe it was all in her head? Maybe she had really imagined things? It wouldn't be the first time, and while she might have been younger when those instances happened, it didn't mean she couldn't make the same mistakes now as an adult. Sure, it would have been a lot nicer and less embarrassing if she could have avoided this mess but, you know, growth. Or some shit like that.

     It was probably best to stray away from all these thoughts now, though. Y/N was starting to look like a lunatic the more she continued to let her mind reflect on the situation she found herself in. As well, being crouched on the sidewalk with her head in her hands might have not helped either. She just needed to muster up the energy to pick her dignity off the floor and maybe that would hopefully give Y/N a chance to pull through this all. As of right now though? Yeah, she was going to lose it. Unless the ground beneath her could swallow her up faster.

     "Hey," Gojo interrupted softly. "I think there might be some miscommunication here."

     "You think?" Y/N retorted quietly.

     "Hey," Gojo said once more. "Don't hide yourself from me. If I'm to be honest, the thing I love to see the most— are your eyes."

     "What?"

     Soft laughter poured out of him then. And when she finally looked up at Gojo, crouched right there before her with his blindfold raised, Y/N couldn't help but believe the sincerity in his words. While there might have been a very high chance this was just another attempt at Gojo trying to be "human", there was that small little tug from her pinky finger urging her to believe.

     "They're always so expressive."

     "Huh?"

     "Your eyes."

     "Oh."

     They crouched there for a moment longer in silence. A part of her could feel the heat warmly sitting on her cheeks and while her heart was beating up a symphony, everything was so quiet around them. For a moment Y/N thought Gojo might have put up a Curtain to hide them away from the rest of the world, but there wasn't really a moment he could have. There was that nagging fear again that she might have been reading too much into this, yet, there wasn't any way she was, right? He had to feel it too. There was no way Gojo could ignore the string pulling at his thumb. This, this had to be real. It just had to be.

     "As much as I love them though," Gojo whispered, "Do me a favor and close them real quick, yeah?"

     Another moment passed in silence before Y/N sighed and complied. She kept them closed even though cold hands sought out her burning cheeks. She kept them closed, even when a cool puff of air tickled her face. And as much as she wanted to ingrain the sight of him with her eyes, Y/N still kept them closed when Gojo finally kissed her.

[titleleaf]

@rocket-eighty-eight mentioned you on a post “The real saw trap is reading an incredibly wrong...”:

@titleleaf WHERE did you see this red dragon take?!?!!

​Why, here on Tumblr Dot Com, of course! I thought I had it screencapped but I managed to restrain myself from engaging with the original post -- the OP was all of 20 and God knows I made absolutely boneheaded Tumblr posts when I was 20, I make some pretty stupid ones now. Regardless, it had pretty hardcore "hasn't actually read Red Dragon" energy. As you might also expect it was a post gassing up the NBC Hannibal s3 finale, framing Will's participation in the killing of Dolarhyde as him embracing queerness and aligning himself with his true love, Hannibal, rather than his fake comphet love, Molly.

Paraphrased, their interpretation was: "the end of Red Dragon, the book, has Will triumphing over Dolarhyde and successfully saving his wife and child, reaffirming the integrity of heterosexual marriage and exorcising the queer threat that Lecter poses to Will's identity of himself as straight, while the show's s3 finale has the better and more affirming depiction: Will leaving behind his wife and child and going to be with Hannibal and embrace his nature as a killer, showing that he's accepted his true self and what he holds in common with Lecter." Which... all of that aside, that's not remotely what happens in the book Red Dragon!

The ending of the novel is so notoriously downbeat and ambivalent that I have read multiple pieces of academic writing commenting on it, and it's something both film adaptations have felt the need to change. It's a fucking downer. You can't even feel good about Molly killing Dolarhyde because you've seen enough of Dolarhyde as a sympathetic wounded beast to wish that outcome, however inevitable genre conventions make it, could be different. Will's relationship to his stepson is already fatally wounded before Dolarhyde shows up, and Will's marriage is fucking toast -- even as Will's lying in his hospital bed he knows this, that Molly will leave him because of what's happened, and by the time SOTL takes place it certainly seems to have come true. Will's physical and mental well-being have been burned through, and by the next time we hear about him he's a deeply traumatized alcoholic whose face looks like damn Picasso drew it, and, we can assume, very single. Heterosexual love is not enough in this book to save anybody! Not Dolarhyde and Reba, not Will and Molly, not the Leedses, not the Jacobis, not Dolarhyde's mother and her new husband, not even Freddy Lounds and Wendy. Will comes to a fuller understanding of the "vicious urges" within him that humanity more broadly struggles with, not just outliers like Dolarhyde and Lecter, but it's not a comfortable exorcism of the destabilizing threat of violence, the emotional tone remains uneasy and weird. It's a bummer. Nobody is living happily ever after and it's Lecter who gets the last word. (And he's such a bitch about it, too, I'm obsessed.)

My own feelings on how the show does the RD plotline with Dolarhyde in s3 aside (short version: badly) I think people have a tendency to back-project the show's framing of Will and Hannibal's relationship onto the first novel when it doesn't apply. Their relationship in the book is interesting and imo very fun but it's very different because the rest of the canon from which the show will draw to pad it out just does not exist yet -- the show sort of Frankensteins together parts of Clarice's plotlines to make up the difference and while I enjoy the results in isolation Will and Hannibal's relationship dynamic in the show isn't remotely a straightforward translation from book to screen or some kind of more correct, uncensored version of what the book was too timid to show. (Clarice's whole perverse union with Lecter in Hannibal the book follows its own different trajectory, and I can see how people read it as liberating and/or affirming, but uhhhh I'll get back to them on that later.) I don't think the show does the fusion of those two relationships particularly elegantly (or the distribution of other aspects of the Hannibal-Clarice relationship onto other characters' relationships to Hannibal, though it did bring me one of my favorite parts of s3 with Bedelia) but I think it's really muddied people's ability to talk about the actual books (and films) on the merits of what they actually contain versus what they assume they must contain or would like them to contain. It's a hot mess express.

[pocketramblr]

(Sorry if this is a repeat but tumblr is being weird =_=U) So thanks to Epic the Musical I've been having DOZI in a very back of my head a lot lately (specifically that Stray Gods sorta crossover with the cool Aphrodite kid), but it wasn't until finding this vid ( youtube*com/watch?v=vpdyeKqdOkg ) that I decided to bother you about it. Literally the first thing that came to my head was "so this was young Inko" and it made me envision DOZI!Izuku as a very justified momma's boy. That being said I'd like to share some of those thoughts on the Stray Gods crossover so I can exorcise them from me.

See, I feel like if the Gods situation were closer to SG:TRM than to PJO it may change the dynamics inside the camp and between the demis A LOT. After all, in PJO there's this comradery between the kids based on the shared understanding that even if their divine parents may suck, they at least have each other. But now all of a sudden, the Gods have a perfect excuse for not being present. And let's face it, what kid wouldn't rather believe that one of their parents would really and truly *want* to be part of their life rather than just ignore them... Which brings me to my awful headcanon involving eidolons, vessels, quests and jjk.

It's SG:TRM canon that sometimes Gods just "wake up" just as suddenly as they "disappear" but add in the fact that both the demis and the monsters get access to prophecies and you could very easily get into a situation kinda like when young Gojo and Geto were assigned to "escort the Star Plasma Vessel to Master Tengen as curse user groups conspire against them". Can you imagine the kind of pressure a quest like that would put on a demi??? And whether it goes well or not there's no way something like that would be a cakewalk or that everyone would be left unscathed afterward. Like, imagine *Inko* had that quest. She could have aced it or screwed it and the expectations for Izuku would still be through the roof, only if she screwed it he'd be seen as having to "redeem" past mistakes instead of having to achieve things on his own. And what if it was our poor precious boy who got roped into that nonsense??? A quest as dangerous as this could be seems like just the kind in which his Aphrodite kid friend may end up dying and fail or succeed that could *definitely* help foster our boy's preference for human heroes over his godly ancestors.

Ok, hopefully I've purged myself of this idea now. Peace out! ;)

yeah an eidolon situation would v much shake up the dynamics. like you turn up at camp and can waterbend and now everyone is like 'oh huh guess posiedon isn't dead after all' but then you ask where he is and they're like 'oh no clue. sometimes gods are 'asleep' and live lifetimes unaware of it and their kids get powers. sometimes gods wake up. sometimes they vanish. or they pass on their eidolon and forget everything for a while.' and you're like. well ok i'm twelve and i guess thats a better excuse for never knowing my father than others but also what. you guys live like this??

i don't know the quest comparison being made but from context im gonna assume its a "hey, child of aprhodite, we need you to escort your mother's newest vessel, who has no memory of any of the centuries of her lives yet, to safety while she is in the midst of getting her powers dropped on her good luck" type thing and uh. yikes. i'd check out and just only deal with the mortal side of things too. just isn't worth it.

[antelopunny]

no one tagged me i simply enjoy talking about myself in the absence of actually writing

5 Songs

(opens spotify wrapped)

Slow Bloom - The Home Team

Dancing Demons - Space Weather

Gunners in the Rain - Mili

萬千花蕊慈母悲哀 - 珂拉琪

The Mad Stone - Everything Everything

Questions

1. Three ships you like:

about to self-report on my taste so hard rn

Idira Tlass / Jae Heydari (Warhammer 40k: Rogue Trader) - OKAY LOOK. I know people are here because I write that Yrliet fic but listen up. At first I thought of them as perfect besties, which is ALSO a great flavour, but then I began rotating Idira in my mind on full blast like a 900W microwave and I went CRAZY. Like, just, okay, let me try to summarize my thoughts... so Idira, she's brash, she's loud-mouthed, she's talented as FUCK and despite being an unsanctioned psyker has beaten all the millions of odds stacked against her, but pretty soon after meeting her, you can brush past her tough facade and realise she's just aching for someone she can Be Real with. You go deeper and you realise she was raised to be a weapon for warlords to use but then one day a knight in shining armour named Theodora von Valancius busted her out, swept her off her feet and spirited her away into the stars. She wants that back, in the end: someone she can lean on, hug her when shit is rough, stay with her until the inevitability of her gruelling end at the hands of the warp. AND THEN ENTER JAE HEYDARI, a supposed 'princess' of a faraway kingdom who seemingly wants a handsome (and very rich) prince to save her, but pretty quickly you can see past the act and know that Jae is a total freebird who knows that the only person she can count on is herself. But even so, she's fiercely loyal and would happily march into a cold death if that meant saving those she cared for (as many unfortunately found out because of Jae's Act 4 quest bugging). So it's Idira, the 'witch-diviner of fates' with seemingly unbreakable will, a valiant 'dark knight'-type figure holding back horrors unseen all while quietly yearning to be saved, + Jae, the 'runaway princess of Efreet' with unyielding charm and luxurious airs, a beautiful 'blooming rose waiting to be plucked'-type of girl that under the surface is chasing after her destiny all on her own two feet, because who the hell needs a Prince Charming when your name is Jae fucking Heydari? LISTEN. LISTEN OKAY THE ROLE REVERSAL. THE UNEXPECTED INTERTWINING OF THEIR FATES IN OPPOSITE SIDES OF A DANCE. GUYS DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYI

Trahearne / Pact Commander (Guild Wars 2) - Most people haven't played GW2 at all. But a lot of people have played FFXIV. So imagine a Haurchefant-type figure that, if you choose to start as a Sylvari, has been with you having your back the whole tile, sets up the whole We Gonna Save The World organization and trusts in you to be one of his top commanders, takes the lead but in truth is always looking upon you to be his sunlight and shining spear, you are the only one that sees through the brave face he has put up this whole time for the sake of fighting the good fight, you are the one he trusts with who he is, and then the first expansion of the game comes out and he FUCKIGNGEWOI HOGESWHIIO EGIJJiaewhioewh JHAHAhsahifEGHIWHW EIEWGi NOOoOoOO anyway you should play critically acclaimed MMO Guild Wars 2 it's got a free trial all the way up to the first expansion Heart of Thorns, is a 'buy once play forever' type of MMO so you don't have to pay a sub, and is constantly updating with new story PLEASE PLAY IT WITH ME PLEASE

Zheng Chenggong / Zhou Yu (Fate/Samurai Remnant) - Yes, that Ming loyalist guy who exorcised the Dutch from Taiwan + that Romance of the Three Kingdoms twink who dabbed on Cao Cao. I have no excuse for this one. They got that twin souls separated over 1300 years shit with a heavy heaping of 'time is a flat circle and nothing we ever do will matter in the end' on top of it. Zheng Chenggong is also, uh... it gets worse the more I talk about it so I'll just stop here. If you know you know.

2. First ship ever: ...probably N Harmonia / the Pokemon B/W player character. What was it? FerrisWheelShipping??????? I was like 12 years old okay you gotta leave me alone

3. Last song you heard: Persephone in the Garden - Aidoneus. I've had it on loop while writing. It, uh... it's a mood.

4. Favorite Childhood Book: My dad made me read The Little Prince when I was a kid and I regarded it with the blind childlike wonder an idiot 7 year old would, without understanding all the underlying whispers of tragedy. I reread it along with footnotes detailing the author's shit life and the backdrop of the Vichy Regime and I was like. What the fuck father why did you give this to me

5. Currently Reading: The Sea of Fertility tetralogy. Again. Yukio Mishima's ghost constantly possesses me and forces me to reread his 800 page long suicide note

6. Currently Watching: DUNGEON MESHI! OooOooH DUNGEON MESHI (narrator voice)

7. Currently Craving: Sleep. Good fucking night

simply do this if you wish, tag games are simply a tumblr dot com psy-op to make you anxious about bothering people

[iasmelaion]

as I get ever closer to finishing the campal fic which is taking me too long because frequent breaks for Having Emotions about campal, i find i need some motivation to spur myself on via my tried and true carrot and stick method of fic writing, but the problem is none of my other wips are the specific carrot i want right now. so instead i've been thinking of the fic idea/vibe I've been rotating in my head for literal weeks now, which consists of the following:

at first, I simply wanted to write something dumb about Bucky's dumb hair, because I am as always feeling the equivalent of cute aggression about sebstan's stupid beautiful hair, and all the photos from Cannes did NOT help. for this idea, i had: one (1) joke about bucky being his own inadvertent hair care product ad campaign (something something 'because you're worth it,' i was gonna figure out the punchline later), and one (1) barebones scene where steve says "actually, i used you as a model for a pomade ad i was hired to illustrate, so you've kind of already been a hair model" and i thought "hmm what if this scene was not funny but was instead fraught with sexual and emotional tension"

anyway, this didn't pan out, because i kept rotating it in my head and shaking it all "is this anything??? is this anything? like, is there a character arc here, some development--" and the answer was just more lustenvyrage re sebstan's hair. so this idea was set aside.

next i remembered that i've always been interested in writing SOMETHING about the way Steve and Bucky fight with each other with frankly preternatural seamlessness in CACW. I've referenced this in a couple fics, but I kind of want to write a fic that's ABOUT it, y'know?? like, the way their bodies are legible to each other even after so many changes. the way they know each other's bodies so well, the way their bodies talk to each other, in contrast to the ways they themselves don't actually manage to talk about the important shit. obvsly in a fic, this would go fighting together > fucking.

i am also thinking about this vis-a-vis "stop writing characters who talk like they're trying to get a good grade in therapy". like. maybe i don't want them to TALK. maybe i want them to be insane weirdos about it. maybe they should sublimate all their emotions into fucking and weird OTT devoted gestures.

however, i am not actually interested in writing post-cacw pre-infinity war fic. so i did a lot of rotating in my head re canon setting, AU-ness, etc.

my other desire here is to, for the love of god, write something that isn't CUTE. listen, I know my fic writing lane. I appreciate all comments. I in fact have a great deal of fun writing things that are sweet and cute and hopefully also poignant and funny. but sometimes a girl gets real tired of having most things she writes classified as cute.

here is the additional thought i had today re this hypothetical fic: haunted house. not a literal haunted house, but a metaphorical one. (but also an actual house that is not actually haunted) (the metaphor is the house = the relationship, ofc) the house is being haunted by grief, the house is being haunted by regret, the house is being haunted by guilt.

so now i am here trying to fit all these disparate parts together into something coherent. like, if i write this, what is the resolution. what is the arc. i may not want to write something cute but i am still committed to reasonably happy endings. so the house is unhaunted? the house is still haunted but they live with the ghosts? they move to a new house???? (not sure how this works with the metaphor?? wait. maybe. hmm.) could this fic please god be under 10k????

anyway now i can't let it go until i solve it and i have written this whole thing in an attempt to figure it out/exorcise the idea. annoying.

this, fyi, is how my fic planning process goes when I can't/don't start with either: a) a punchline, b) a wouldn't-it-be-funny-if, or c) an actual trope or prompt. so great. so efficient and useful and fun ;___;

[chamberlinfamilyfarms]

“FAMOUS ATHEISTS' LAST WORDS BEFORE DEATH:

1. ANTON LEVEY—Author of the Satanic Bible and high priest of the religion dedicated to the worship of Satan. One of his famous quotes was: “There is a beast in man that needs to be exercised, not exorcised”. His dying words were: "Oh my, oh my, what have I done, there is something very wrong. . . there is something very wrong.”

2. GANDHI—At his death, he said, “For the first time in 50 years, I find myself in the slough of despond. All about me is darkness. . .I am praying for light.”

3. THOMAS PAYNE—The leading atheistic writer in American colonies: "Stay with me, for God's sake; I cannot bear to be left alone , O Lord, help me! O God, what have I done to suffer so much? What will become of me hereafter? I would give worlds if I had them, that The Age of Reason had never been published. 0 Lord, help me! Christ, help me! No, don't leave; stay with me! Send even a child to stay with me; for I am on the edge of hell here alone. If ever the Devil had an agent, I have been that one."

4. SIR THOMAS SCOTT—Chancellor of England: "Until this moment I thought there was neither a God nor a hell. Now I know and feel that there are both, and I am doomed to perdition by the just judgment of the Almighty."

5. VOLTAIRE—famous anti-christian atheist: "I have swallowed nothing but smoke. I have intoxicated myself with the incense that turned my head. I am abandoned by God and man.” He said to his physician, Dr. Fochin: “I will give you half of what I am worth if you will give me six months of life." When he was told this was not possible, he said “Then I shall die and go to hell!" His nurse said: “For all the money in Europe I wouldn’t want to see another unbeliever die! All night long he cried for forgiveness.”

6. ROBERT INGERSOLL—American writer and orator during the Golden Age of Free Thought: "O God, if there be a God, save my soul, if I have a soul!" Some say it was said this way: "Oh God, if there be a God, save my soul, if I have a soul, from hell, if there be a hell!

7. DAVID HUME—Atheist philosopher famous for his philosophy of empiricism and skepticism of religion: He cried loud on his death bed "I am in flames!" It is said his desperation was a horrible scene.

8. NAPOLEON BONAPARTE—French emperor who, like Adolf Hitler, brought death to millions to satisfy his greedy, power-mad, selfish ambitions for world conquest: "I die before my time, and my body will be given back to the earth. Such is the fate of him who has been called the great Napoleon. What an abyss between my deep misery and the eternal kingdom of Christ!”

9. SIR FRANCIS NEWPORT—Head of an English Atheist club, to those gathered around his deathbed: "You need not tell me there is no God, for I know there is one, and that I am in his presence! You need not tell me there is no hell. I feel myself already slipping. Wretches, cease your idle talk about there being hope for me! I know I am lost forever! Oh, that fire! Oh, the insufferable pangs of hell! Oh, that I could lie for a thousand years upon the fire that is never quenched, to purchase the favor of God and be united to Him again. But it is a fruitless wish. Millions and millions of years will bring me no nearer the end of my torments than one poor hour. Oh, eternity, eternity forever and forever! Oh, the insufferable pangs of Hell!”

10. CHARLES IX—The French king. Urged on by his mother, he gave the order for the massacre of the French Huguenots, in which 15,000 souls were slaughtered in Paris alone and 100,000 in other sections of France, for no other reason than that they loved Christ. The guilty king suffered miserably for years after that event. He finally died, bathed in blood bursting from his veins. To his physicians, he said in his last hours: "Asleep or awake, I see the mangled forms of the Huguenots passing before me. They drop with blood. They point at their open wounds. Oh! That I had spared at least the little infants at the bosom! What blood! I know not where I am. How will all this end? What shall I do? I am lost forever! I know it. Oh, I have done wrong."

11. DAVID STRAUSS—Leading representative of German rationalism, after spending a lifetime erasing belief in God from the minds of others: "My philosophy leaves me utterly forlorn! I feel like one caught in the merciless jaws of an automatic machine, not knowing at what time one of its great hammers may crush me!"

12. JOSEF STALIN—Soviet Georgian revolutionary and politician. In a Newsweek interview with Svetlana Stalin, the daughter of Josef Stalin, she told of her father's death: "My father died a difficult and terrible death. . .God grants an easy death only to the just. At what seemed the very last moment, he suddenly opened his eyes and cast a glance over everyone in the room. It was a terrible glance, insane or perhaps angry. His left hand was raised, as though he were pointing to something above and bringing down a curse on us all. The gesture was full of menace. . .the next moment he was dead."

13. CAESAR BORGIA—Italian nobleman, politician, and cardinal: "While I lived, I provided for everything but death; now I must die, and am unprepared to die."

14. THOMAS HOBBS—Political philosopher: "I say again, if I had the whole world at my disposal, I would give it to live one day. I am about to take a leap into the dark."

******************

BELOVED, compare these last words from atheists, with these last words, from these saints of God:

THE APOSTLE PAUL: “O death, where is thy sting?”

KING DAVID: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no Evil.”

AUGUSTUS MONTAGUE TOPLADY (1710-1778): Toplady will ever be famous as the author of one of the most evangelical hymns of the eighteenth century, "Rock of Ages," which was first published in 1776.

During the final illness, Toplady was greatly supported by the consolations of the gospel: "The consolations of God, to so unworthy a wretch, are so abundant that he leaves me nothing to pray for but their continuance."

Near his last, awaking from a sleep, he said: "Oh, what delights! Who can fathom the joy of the third heaven? The sky is clear, there is no cloud; come Lord Jesus, come quickly!" He died saying:"No mortal man can live after the glories which God has manifested to my soul."

Lastly, JESUS CHRIST said: “I Am the Resurrection and the Life. He that believeth on Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.”

Only fools never learn from history, and it's amazing that even in our days, with all these facts on our fingertips, someone with a mind can devote his entire life to a delusion, and want everyone to know that there is no God. No wonder the bible says,

"Only fools say in their hearts, there is no God." (Psalm 14:1).“

[c0pernicus]

I feel like I never really see people talk about just how bad the long term effects of prolonged abuse, or C-PTSD can really be in people, especially young people, and I wish it was talked about more.

I pretty much never talk about my own experiences for safety reasons, because I would always receive a whole mess if I did choose to try and tell others what I went through, and maybe that's what has made my experience with C-PTSD so bad, but its genuinely so debilitating.

The burn out, the exhaustion, the body aches and horrible sleep schedules and inability to maintain a job because my emotions and brain had really never recovered even years- half a decade- after everything stopped. The digestive issues, the memory problems, the entire lack of a sense of identity and self. The lack of want to put effort into my identity and self.

I feel like I'm chronically searching for someone that's supposed to be me. Constantly, I'm stuck now trying to validate a sense of self I no longer possess. Old passions, old hobbies, old things I liked and enjoyed- It feels like I've been stripped down to bone and nothing sticks anymore. If I have an interest it's very fleeting and I usually will drop it once I find I start to enjoy it, as if its been so heavily ingrained in my brain that peace and happiness and to just enjoy things isn't something I'm allowed. I've become incapable of thinking anything even neutral about myself at this point. I don't believe nearly anything anyone else says to me, and I feel very passive towards others in general if I'm not terrified of them instead. I lack friends and connections, and I constantly hide away from others.

I'm constantly frozen. I can't function on even a basic level if someone else is present in my home; I have to be doing what they're doing, or engaged in some way with what they're doing (Watching, observing, next to them at the very least and quietly doing something unobtrusive) or I can't do anything at all. If I am left alone I'm riddled with anxiety and my mood plummets, my intrusive thoughts are constant and like a horrible movie montage I can't turn off. Trying to lay down and sleep is no better, for years I've been stuck having to just occupy my brain until I pass out.

It's a constant ghost I just can't seem to exorcise from myself. No amount of trying to forgive or forget or let go or move on or accept has made a pebbles difference in the mountain I'm stuck under. I forget everything and anything except for what caused all of this; my wife and friend constantly cut me off to tell me that they've already heard what I'm telling from before from my own mouth, and they I know there are times where they let me continue like it's the first time I've ever told them the fact or the story and I'm simply none-the-wiser. I can't remember things I've done, things I need to do, events or recent days even. I feel stupid and airheaded on the best days, and I know it shows to others because they've told me before.

Work is hard because of the anxiety, the agoraphobia, the memory problems, the health problems. I'm sick constantly; I can't eat or retain food, I have the flu, I've caught Covid for the 8th time despite trying to be good about cleanliness when I leave the house and return. I can't eat a lot of food without being in pain, with it going right through me or sitting like a rock in my stomach for several days. My joints ache more often, my muscles are sore, my traps are solid to a concerning degree from the daily stress of just living with it all. I can't remember the last time my eyes weren't sunken in and purple-blue.

Therapists have only wanted to slap me with a diagnosis and an array of medications- none of which have worked. I've been told it's depression, it's anxiety, it's PTSD, it's bi-polar, it's BPD, it's psychotic depression, it's schizoaffective, it's DID. The DID one threw me for a loop, I'm not going to lie, but the rest were believable enough. I don't look at my medical charts anymore, so I don't know what I have or haven't been branded with by now. The meds and talk therapy never help, I never feel release, I don't believe words anymore- especially from strangers. The meds make the brain fog worse, or I feel numb, or people don't like the person I've become, or my self harming gets much worse, or I just want to kill myself enough to really try to.

Stress tips me over the edge so easily. The hallucinations suck and I resent them. They're a one way ticket to being unemployed and unfunctional for potentially months at a time, and it's humiliating after the fact as well. The last time I had a bad episode I believed there was a man living in my closet, and I couldn't go inside of it. I would hear him moving around inside, he'd yell and get so angry if you opened the door. I've thankfully forgotten the name I gave him; it was something stupid for sure.

I've become a miserable ghost, and I don't see any light at the end of the long tunnel. There is no way back to my body. I'm just lost and wandering and witnessing but never participating. It hurts the most to think of how I was before too many things piled up; the passion and the drive and the creativity. Always making something, always doing something, there was always some project or plan or thing I was doing that I felt pride for. I didn't care if I was weird to others, because I was confident in myself.

I just lay down now, when I can. I do my dishes and my laundry, I try to shower when it doesn't make me nauseous to. I take care of my cats and I work jobs infrequently. I sit with my parents disappointment in who I've become like it's an old friend, and we share coffee and reveries.

I exist, begrudgingly. That is the only thing I try to take pride in now.

[dontmindifidontt]

EARLY MORNINGS AND OVERTIME | Nanami Kento x Reader JJK fanfic | Chapter 14: At Last (FINAL CHAPTER)

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Reader (fem, first person pov) Word count: 5347 Fic Summary: A smutty fic in which Nanami Kento brightens up the mundane, flour-dusted life a college dropout working in a bakery.   Chapter Summary: After seemingly walking into a trap, our baker must find a way to get herself free. No smut warnings this chapter.

Read on AO3. Masterlist. | Previous Chapter  |

This isn’t good. This isn’t fucking good. I look around frantically, searching for the source of the noise but there’s nothing to be seen. Even with the help of my glasses I quickly threw on, I still can’t see whatever is steadily closing in on me.

How could I have led myself into a trap like this? I ended up doing the exact thing I was afraid of… I ended things with Nanami because I didn’t want this exact scenario to happen.

Then again, if he’s not here to witness what happens next, I guess I succeeded in at least part of my goal in separating myself from him. He may never know what happened to me but hopefully he’ll assume I just ghosted him and lived the rest of my life in safety - not that I met whatever terrible end I’m about to meet.

He can’t ever know I ended up like this… the thought of him being devastated brings me to the brink of sobs. I clutch my hand to my mouth instinctively, holding back tears or vomit or screams - at this point I could hardly tell.

But I have to focus if I want even the slimmest chance of walking out of here. Ever since I spent a week of training at the cabin with Nanami I’ve been keeping a small slicing knife from work sheathed on my leg. I’d normally use it for cutting precise layers of cake to carefully stack atop each other. Now, I can only hope it’ll be enough to thwart whatever intelligent cursed spirit has been stalking me in this alley. I know I need to exorcise it to make this cat-and-mouse game end once and for all, but I don’t know if I’m even capable of that right now. And without Nanami in the picture to help me learn… I try not to think about what that means for my likely short future.

Something crashes against a dumpster across the alley again, snapping me out of my daze. Three rodents quickly scurry out from underneath the heap of trash as if they’ve been spooked.

I need to remember every single piece of training Nanami taught me. We never made it to close combat, but hopefully I can prevent the curse from getting close enough to try.

Pulling the short but sharp slicing knife from its sheath with shaky hands, I raise it up chest-height in a protective stance. Elbow bent straight ahead, forearm parallel with my chest, palm facing down… I grip the hilt of it as hard as I can while my eyes desperately scan the street for a clear view of the circling cursed spirit.

I slowly turn in a tight circle, subconsciously stepping off the sidewalk and into the empty road. I’d rather be in an open road than stand too close to the nearby building and risk having my back to the wall without means to escape. I already feel vulnerable enough as it is, I don’t need to make myself an easier target.

A snuffling, gasping sound snaps my attention to another narrow alley down the desolate road. I’m officially not alone.

My eyes widen as I attempt to make out the figure peeking out from around the side of the building. The first thing I notice are the claw-tipped dark green hands covered in spores and scratch marks. The skin covering this being is scaly yet blemished with golf ball-sized lumps as if it’s filled with air bubbles vying to break the surface.

Just the upper half of its head is peeking out, but I can see all I need to see in order to know I should be very, very afraid. There are no recognizable features in any place you would expect them to be on a person’s head. Three rounded eyes dot its face in a triangle-shaped pattern: two spread apart on each side and one at the top. Each eye’s pupil is spinning in a different direction, yet I can somehow feel all of its attention on me. Even from this front-facing view I can see its neck protruding from its head. Instead of being located at the base, it sprouts upward from the back of its head. It seems to curve downward towards the rest of its body, as if the head and body are connected by a bent straw. There is no mouth or nose to be seen, but I don’t doubt there are terrifying rows of sharp teeth lining its gums.

A flicker of light catches my eye, and I quickly shoot my glance back to the space in front of me. I began shaking so much that the thin streak of sunlight peeking through the clouds reflected off my knife like a mirror. I give a half sigh of relief to know I caused the flicker myself and swiftly bring my eyes back to the alley to focus on the threat at hand.

It’s empty. There’s no hands, no glimpse of a head. No curse to be seen at the edge of the alley anymore.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit. How could I take my eyes off it for even a second?! Now I nee-

Pure panic takes over every cell of my body. In the brief second since I looked away, the curse quickly advanced in my direction and is now blocking my entire field of view. It’s so close I can smell the rancid odor leaking from its skin - a mixture of garbage and spoiled milk.

If I didn’t already know I was being hunted by a curse I would have never believed that this horrifying-looking creature is the same type of being as the flyhead. There are absolutely no similarities between the borderline innocent-looking flyheads and what appears before me.

I was right about the teeth: they’re razor-sharp and there’s rows upon rows of them. But I was wrong to expect they’d be found on its head. Instead, there’s a grinning, teeth-filled mouth on each long limb: towards the end of each forearm and ankle. They’re positioned as if made for kicking or striking its victim while simultaneously biting down on its flesh. It’s a design of nightmares.

Before I can gulp down my sheer terror, a shrill, cackling laugh begins to bubble up out of all four mouths of the cursed spirit. It’s ear-piercing and nearly causes me to drop my knife while reaching for my ears. I’m gripping the sides of my head when the laugh turns into a scream that unexpectedly launches me backward, as if blown by an invisible wind.

I hit the ground in an instant, landing with a backwards somersault. I thankfully avoid an injury to my head due to my hands still being tightly gripped to the sides of it. I shuffle backwards hastily, scuttling my palms and feet on the hard pavement.

After collecting my bearings, I reposition the knife in my hand into a throwing position - there’s no way this will do me any good up close. If I want to have any chance of making it out of here, it seems I’ll need to rely on my good aim to hit at least one eye on the terrifying creature and run.

Steadying my breathing, I rise up on my feet and lift my arm above my head, ready to launch the knife that’s already become slick with sweat in my palm.

The curse hasn’t even moved from the same spot in the road, although that terrifying and haunting cackle has begun to bubble up out of its mouths again.

I train my eyes to the mouth on its left ankle… it seems like the target I’m most likely to hit.

With a deep inhale, I remember the hours of practice I spent aiming my throwing knives at the cabin with Nanami. How he made me hit the same target on a far away tree trunk over and over again. Until I learned how to still hit my target even with distractions. With the way he distracted me.How he took his time slowly lifting his hand up my thigh until he cupped me aching between my legs.

The maniacal cackle of the curse snaps me out of my memory of Nanami. If this throw doesn’t work, if it doesn’t give me a chance to run and get away safely, I’m at least glad I got to spend just a second in my mind with a fond memory of Nanami. I don’t want to die without at least the briefest moment of peace that only he can bring me.

Flexing the muscles of my arm, I grip the knife even tighter and throw. It sails through the air faster than any practice throw I’ve done, and looks to be exactly on track to hit the ankle-mouth I aimed for. I ready myself to run once I see it hit its mark.

Still soaring, the knife is just inches away from the now eerily-silent curse when it suddenly darts away in a flash to dodge the weapon. Without warning the curse once again materializes beside me in an instant, this time on my left. Again, I see each of its mouths open wide and scream, blasting me off my feet in the process. I fly through the air for barely a second before hitting the wall of the building I previously stepped away from. The force knocks the air out of me and snaps my head to the side hard enough to see stars. I’m unable to break my fall to the ground and cry out at the pain of my legs folding as I hit the pavement.

Every fiber of my being feels unbearable with pain and shock, but I can’t let myself stay down and vulnerable to attack. I attempt to scramble back up to my feet as fast as possible so I can reorient myself and decide what to do next. Panting, my eyes dart around in search for the curse but it’s nowhere to be found.

If I was panicking before I’m absolutely frozen in fear now. The curse is nowhere to be seen and I’m now weapon-less. Shaking, my eyes continue to scan every inch of the road in front of me desperate to s-

Without warning I hear the third shriek and feel the blasting wind of the curse knocking me completely off my feet - this time landing further down the road. There’s no doubt in my mind I must have broken or at least dislocated one of my arms now. The pain is past the point of ignoring and tears are silently filling and falling out the corners of my eyes. I instinctively wipe one away and realize why the curse took me completely off guard - my glasses are gone.

Disoriented and confused, I look back to where I was first thrown against the hard exterior of the building. There on the ground, shattered and bent, are the one thing that allowed me to see curses and have a fighting chance out of getting here alive: my glasses.

A sob tears out of me at the sight of them completely destroyed and unusable. I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms over the top of my head in a panicked fetal position. I’m done for. Absolutely done for. And I didn’t even stand a chance. Or save Nanami any of the heartbreak - I’ll still getting killed by this goddamn curse even after all the terrible things I said to break up with him. I should have known this plan would have never worked.

I hear the guttural cackling of the curse return and realize this must be the end for me. If this is how I go, I can’t do it cowering on the ground. Using my one good arm, I press my palm to the pavement and slowly begin to rise to my feet so I can at least prove to myself I’m still strong enough to die standing.

Each vertebrae in my back feels battered and bruised as I extend it to stand. Before I reach my full height, I’m nearly knocked back down for another reason. The curse hasn’t attacked, but it must have been aiming to, because before I can even hear a shriek I see the familiar, strong body I’ve come to love so goddamn much dive in front of me. Nanami found me. He came back to me. Even after all I said.

He shouts at me to run while winding up his arm to deal a strong blow to the now invisible curse with his weapon. I can hear the impact despite not having my glasses on to see the actual strike to the curse. I’m thankful to hear a horrific yelp from the curse after Nanami’s weapon makes contact, but Nanami doesn’t seem to be relieved or at ease from the looks of his body language. He’s immediately readying his weapon again, running to the side at an impossibly fast pace to strike his weapon again. This time, it looks to have been a defensive hit, as though the curse was already recovered from whatever damage his first hit did.

“I said RUN!” Nanami barks breathlessly without looking in my direction. I realize I’ve remained wide-eyed where I once stood, though now I’m back to a seated position since getting knocked over by Nanami’s defensive dive in front of me. The short but strong burst of energy that coursed through me to stand up earlier is now gone, and I’m afraid I don’t even have it in me to run at this point.

Just as I debate crawling in a desperate attempt to find cover, I see Nanami get thrown aside as if the curse just picked him up by the shoulder and tossed him like a doll. He’s able to land on his feet in crouch much more deftly than I did, but it’s still obvious he’s hurt.

I must have gasped aloud in the process because Nanami once again shouts at me to get out of here, this time barely getting the words out without a sputtering cough. I can tell he’s hurt - probably worse than he’s even letting show.

I’m in no condition to help him though, am I? No weapon, no strength, not to mention zero ability to even see the enemy we’re up against. All I have is myself. But I can’t fail him again today.

If this curse truly has the upper hand and I’m not able to escape my fate afterall, I have to at least use the last tool I have left: myself. I can distract this curse with myself. This way, I’m not failing Nanami by lying to him about wanting to break up or worse, by dying in a way he thinks is his fault. I can choose to get up and walk back towards Nanami and this invisible curse blindly, meeting my fate and showing Nanami its not his fault. Then, he’ll have the chance to use this distraction as opportunity to get away and save himself.

It doesn’t take me long to decide on what I have to do. If I’m being honest with myself, I’m not really distraught at the fact I’m willing to sacrifice myself to a horrendous monster. Not the possible pain, or suffering. Rather, the only thing that’s upsetting me is knowing that this means my time with Nanami is really over for good.

I take a deep breath to muster the courage to stand just as Nanami is knocked to the ground again. He’s been striking the curse time and time again, and yet it isn’t preventing him from being overpowered.

He still hasn’t gotten up yet… I know it’s time for me to do what I have to do. And hopefully spare his life in the process. I hope he can forgive me.

“Here, over here!” I shout the words as loud as I can despite the cramped feeling in my lungs. I’m pushing myself off the ground and onto my feet as quickly as I can, though it feels like it takes me an entirety to get upright. As I stand at my full height, I raise my one good arm and flail it aimlessly - unsure where the curse is located but drawing attention to myself nonetheless.

I have to take one last look at Nanami, to tell him what he needs to do.

Swallowing air and fighting back tears, I turn my head to his direction and force out the words in one quick sentence: “I didn’t mean what I said.. You have the chance to get away now.. I’m sorry-”

Just as Nanami’s eyes widen and jaw drops in understanding, I feel a giant, scaly body tackle mine to the ground and everything goes black.

…….......................................………

The afterworld, or heaven, or wherever I am right now feels nice. Calm. It feels… serene. I’m not scared or nursing any broken bones back to health. I’m not even sad about leaving Nanami - because he’s here.

By “here” I mean the nondescript Parisian bakery Nanami was referring to when describing our imagined proposal story. I’m living out that day, here in the bakery and the park with him. The bread we pick out tastes more delicious than anything I’ve ever had, and the champagne he pops for us once I say yes and slip on the ring tastes like stars in a glass. All of my senses are heightened here in the most pleasurable way. And everything looks more beautiful - including Nanami. He looks happier than I’ve ever seen him, and so carefree. I’ve never seen him this at ease. Maybe it’s be-

The sense that my body is rolling uncontrollably is confusing at first but quickly shocks me with alertness. My ears are ringing, my clothes are tattered, and my lungs are burning from a lack of oxygen. I’m alive…? At least barely it seems.

Getting tackled by the cursed spirit must have knocked me out. I’ve never experienced any type of dream state like that before. I can’t waste time dwelling on it though since I’m now back in the fray. I expect to hear scuffling feet and heavy breathing and clashing of weapons, but there’s none of that. It’s totally silent.

I’m finally able to fully open my eyes and reorient myself to my surroundings. I’m still here on the same road since I was tackled, but that doesn’t help the confusion.

I’m on high alert in case the curse pounces on me once again, but I don’t hear its cackling laugh or pointed claws or anything. I don’t hear anything. Even Nanami…

A new level of fear sinks in as I spot Nanami. My voice is so hoarse that the shocked cry I involuntarily make doesn’t quite come out. I lurch forward on all four aching limbs, desperately trying to propel myself closer and get to the collapsed, non-moving body across the narrow roadway.

My brain and body barely feel connected or functional - all I can think and see and do and feel is try to get to him. In what feels like days I’m able to drag myself over to him and throw myself on top of him. He’s on his side with his back to me, so I have to drape myself over his shoulder to see his face and check to see if he’s breathing or conscious.

His eyes are open, his chest is repeatedly rising with shaky breaths, and he’s… alive. I garble out another cry at the relief and shock. He’s alive and yet he’s still here unmoving and probably gravely injured.

I lick my lips to attempt to speak, but before I can utter a word he slowly drags his eyes to the side and turns his head towards me. He looks almost catatonic without expression, but the moment he turns enough to see my face he’s overcome with a look of sheer relief and sadness.

“I thought… I thought…” the words are barely coming out, but I know exactly what Nanami means when he says it.

“I’m alright, I’m here,” I respond - trying to convince both him and myself I’m still alive. There’s so many things I need to tell him… but first, I need to know if we’re still in danger. I have no idea if the curse is still around or if he managed to exorcise it. Clearly he didn’t run away as I had planned. “Is… did you exorcise it?” I’m practically shaking with nerves at the prospect of having to continue facing this thing.

Nanami still can’t quite form any words, but I know things are going to be okay when I see him nod slowly. I practically collapse against him, wrapping him in my arms once again and sobbing into his chest to hear that we’re not being hunted anymore. I can tell he’s crying too because I feel the shake of his chest.

We continue to hold each other, exhausted, in this heap for a moment until all the words I need to say to him come flooding back.

“I’m sorry,” I start to spurt out while slowly raising myself to a seated position. “I’m sorry for everything. I thought I could fix things and save you by telling you we were done and then when that failed I thought I could save you by buying you time and sacrificing myself in the process and that didn’t-” I’m cut off when Nanami manages to pull himself up as well and promptly leans in to kiss me mid sentence. He envelops my mouth and slowly works his tongue past my lips and it feels like he’s kissing me like its the last time. It really almost was.

He only pulls back to say, “I didn’t mean what I said either. About not being able to picture us together for the long term. I can picture it, clear as day… and that’s why I was so scared. I said I couldn’t promise a lifelong commitment because I was scared a situation like this would interrupt that commitment. And it almost did-”

“Stop,” I cut him off, tears still brimming in my eyes as I hold his face. “It didn’t. I tried to do the same thing and predict the future but it didn’t work. Of course my plan didn’t work. I thought that whatever curse was threatening you with taunts to hurt me would see us break up and wouldn’t be able to use me as a pawn anymore. But of course that wouldn’t work. Abruptly breaking up doesn’t change the fact that you would still be devastated if I got hurt… The curse would still get its revenge against you, breakup or not…” How could I have been so clueless? I start to beat myself up but realize I did the same thing as Nanami - the fear prevented me from thinking clearly. Also, part of me starts to feel an overwhelming surge of heartbreaking love for Nanami. He still cares so deeply for me no matter what, even after all I said. I thought I could release him from the trap of my fate, but now I realize those fears weren’t my fate - no one else decides my fate but me. I’m strong enough, (I’ve been taught well,) and risks don’t scare me anymore.

“We can’t predict the future,” I continue on, “and I won’t let you sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of my perceived safety. And I won’t let myself do it either. We owe that to each other and ourselves. I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t want to be with you because your life and work is so risky - I only said that because I foolishly thought I’d be saving you the heartbreak.” If the situation wasn’t so dire I might even laugh at the irony of how we’ve nearly killed one another in our clueless attempts to save each other.

‘If you can’t promise me a future that has you safe in it, then I never want to see you again.’ My past words haunts me. How I thought hearing this would be easier on him than taking our chances getting hurt in the future is now a mystery to me. Now, I don’t care about a promised future, I just want to start my future with him at my side.

“We can’t control what dangerous, shitty situations are going to come our way whether we’re together or not - so why deny ourselves the chance to at least be happy in the meantime?”

Nanami looks at me with such genuine, emotional longing that I nearly start crying all over again. I can tell he has a million words to get out as well but is still so shocked by my near-death that it’s difficult to speak. “We… we can move away from here. Leave the city where cursed energy is higher and go further out of town.”

“Yes!” I completely agree without question. I can tell he never wants to experience this scenario again, and I don’t blame him. And, I want him to be safe. I want to see him be carefree and at ease the way I did in my dream. “What about the cabin? We can go there as soon as we get healed and figure it out from there. I’ll go anywhere with you.”

His eyes seem to spark back to life a bit at the suggestion. He starts to smile and nods in agreement before kissing me again. It feels impossible to pull myself away again, but making sure he’s physically okay is more important right now. I start to scan over his body, looking for broken bones or bloodstains. Apart from the same road rash I’m sporting, he doesn’t seem to be in as bad of shape as I thought. Still, we both will need help to heal. “We need to get to a hospital-”

He raises his hand to stop me and explain that he has a colleague who can help us. He’s able to reach for his phone and call them right away.

We continue to sit side by side, waiting for one of his jujutsu peers to pick us up so we can be healed. I’m not sure what that entails but I trust him.

Just as a black sedan begins to pull up to the curb, Nanami turns to me again before standing. “Seeing you hurt like that… and thinking you were gone, I…” he chokes up, unable to finish the sentence. He gulps and inhales before starting again, “I need to know I’m doing all I can to protect you and prevent that from happening ever again.” Another inhale. “I’ve always hated jujutsu sorcery, and now more so than ever. It can’t… it won’t be a part of my life again.”

I stare, confused, at his face. He looks determined and decided.

“I have the ability to see and sense curses still, that’s not going to change… but I’m choosing to distance myself from jujutsu.” We’re both standing now as the car pulls up, and he looks deep into my eyes as he reaches to open the door for me and says, “What’s important to me now is making a commitment to truly enjoy a restful life… with you.”

My response comes as easily as loving him does, “I like the sound of that.”

………….......................................................……….

Two Months Later

Packing up all our belongings from the cabin is an odd feeling. Not odd in a bad way, but odd in a too good way. Nanami and I have spent the time to heal our wounds physically and emotionally. Seeing me collapse took a toll on Nanami that was hard to shake. Thankfully, stepping away from the city and its overflow of cursed energy was the right move.

Now, we can spend the warm afternoons drinking tea on the small table in the backyard, and spend the chilly evenings snuggling in bed with the windows cracked. This is the first time we’ve really felt peaceful together.

The only reason we’re packing to leave is because Nanami bought us a place of our own! It’s even further out of town and on a bigger piece of land, so we really get the chance to tuck ourselves away in our own little world. I cannot wait to finish packing the car and making the drive over there this afternoon. I plan to surprise Nanami by growing a garden in the yard with all sorts of different herbs and veggies. That way I can experiment with cooking new types of savory breads and pastries for him to try.

With the last of my small bags in hand (Nanami wouldn’t let me carry out any of the heavier ones,) I pull the front door of the cabin shut behind me and walk out to the car. Nanami is there loading up the open trunk with the larger boxes, and smiles as soon as he catches sight of me.

I give him a quick kiss as soon as I step up close to him, and he puts his hand on my back before quickly moving it under the bag’s strap on my shoulder. He swiftly lifts the bag off my shoulder and places it gently in the trunk. I can’t help but smile at the simple kindness he shows me every day without even thinking twice about it.

“We’re just about ready to go,” he lets me know while shifting some of the boxes in the trunk to make room for the remainders. “I just need to move one more thing back here - can you hand me that container to your right?”

I look to the stack of boxes he’s referring to and grab the small open container from the top of the stack. There’s an envelope peeking out addressed to me. Holding it between my fingers, I turn back to Nanami and ask what it’s for.

“Open and take a look,” he replies with a sly yet innocent smile.

Curious, I pull open the envelope and reach inside for its contents: two small pieces of paper. I hold them in my hand and keep reading them over and over again, unable to believe my eyes.

Inside the envelope are two tickets for a flight to Paris.

....

After much deliberation I decided on making this a happily ever after afterall <3333 our fave worker bees deserve it fr :’( THNK U all for coming along this journey with me - it’s the first fic i’ve ever published and there were times i never thought i’d be able to finish it. writers block gets so real. but its my love for these characters and stories that motivates me to stay creative and i love them for that:)

Previous Chapter 

Join my taglist here.

Taglist: @hellonaomix @angelofthorr  @bloombb @hiyamaya72 @m4y554 

[wordsandrobots]

Have I obligated myself to have a ‘take’ on Witch From Mercury? I mean, I’ve posted pieces concerning every main Gundam anime thing I’ve watched except Cucuruz Doan's Island (because I have nothing to *say* about Cucuruz Doan's Island except that hearing Lucian Dodge voice Amuro is a *trip* for an Iron-Blooded Oprhans’ fan, let me tell you). In my own head at least, this creates the completionist urge to note something down now G-Witch is over. And hey, I believe in exorcising nagging thoughts so why not? Spoilers and unfavourable opinions ahead. In fact, I’m going to use a cut because this show seems popular around here and  I’m not monster enough to rain on anyone’s parade about it.

It’d be nice to say, ‘basically fine for what it is but not my thing’. The problem is, I’m not sure I can say that, having found it so unbearably messy to watch. It could be my peculiar brain wiring that makes it frustrating to have a story constantly introduce stuff that neither goes anywhere nor coheres especially well with itself if you stop and think about it for five minutes. But it does feel like this would have been vastly improved by cutting something -- anything -- to make some room for thrust of the main plot.

I have a specific beef with the lack of characterisation for A(Eri)al. We are *told* how much Suletta cares for her and how crucial that relationship is through the first season, and of course it’s vital to the struggles and resolution of season two. But it’s hard to point to an example prior to Suletta’s little vision-quest-slash-being-dumped escapade where they interact in a meaningful fashion. It seems extremely one-sided and I’m not sure how intentional that is. This loops around to a complaint about sloppy world-building (a school is the perfect setting to introduce concepts to be later expanded or subverted and the show resolutely Does Not Do That), but is a more significant matter since we’re talking about emotional beats. You know, the things that actually drive a story along.

And look, anything that gets me saying ‘show don’t tell’ has already stretched my patience thin. But it would have been so simple to have included more moments of Suletta pouring her heart out to her Gundam -- with the interface responding in some inscrutable fashion -- I find it genuinely baffling that didn’t happen in place of, I dunno, the Jeturk family drama.

Oh, speaking of which, second beef: if you are placed in the situation where you need to displace a bunch of ‘traditional Gundam story beats’ on to a pseudo-rival/protagonist character, maybe consider . . . just not hitting those beats? (I know, this is a long-running franchise, this is how it goes, executive meddling etc. That doesn’t make it less irritating to have it all culminate in an out-of-nowhere fencing match in reference to a 40-year-old fight scene when the objectively correct way of resolving a plot about arbitrary and unfair systems of rules is with rock-paper-scissors.)

It’s a shame there’s the germ of a neat idea in that concept of displacement, because Guel feels like the part that could have been most easily jettisoned to create space. The Elans have emotional heft as an explicit parallel to Suletta, Elan-5′s relationship with Norea being a vital example of the ‘love me, flaws and all’ refrain at the heart of the story. But Lauda and Guel having a barney in the middle of finale feels egregious and like it only exists to get an extra Gundam into play (an entirely arbitrary requirement). Though I suppose the fact I barely remembered to mention Shaddiq here also speaks to something else that didn’t really resonate or seem to go anywhere in particular.

Here is where you can fill in for yourself the long list of complaints about the show raising issues it doesn’t care about doing justice to. War-profiteering, the traumatising effects of violence, possibilities of future medical technology, corporate influence on geopolitics, social inequality, refugee crises, yadda yadda yadda. G-Witch doesn’t have anything to say about any of these things. It’s a family drama and that really is fine, if that’s the story it wants to tell. It’s about the doings of the privileged (those literally raised on high) and their tribulations are the focus over and above harm to anyone else. It is what it is. I could whine for days about this stuff, but it’s no worse than you’d find in many pieces of comparable media. Cherish the exceptions.

To say something nice, lest you think all I have are complaints, this show is beautifully animated throughout (I did find the action inside the data-storm hard to follow, owing to the lighting choices, but I think that’s a me thing) and very well directed. The mecha designs are solid, even if we were robbed of more touches like the rocket broomstick. For all my above grouching, Felsi coming out of nowhere with a fire-extinguisher was a fantastic, knowing way to halt Guel and Lauda’s fratricide arc. And I need to stress, the central story about Suleta, Miorine, Eri, Prospera and Delling really is fine. Not my thing and I’m way past the demographic, but on its own terms, it’s fine.

It’s just stuck in the middle of a distracting mess of half-baked concepts, meaningless call-backs and a cast suitable for an anime twice as long. It’s tempting to pin everything on that last part, to hypothesise this was going to be or should have been 50 episodes, not 24. I’m inclined to take the opposite track. I think there is a perfectly functional 24-episode story here that got stuffed with far too many moving parts for its own good.

Right, done. Where does that leave the final ‘in my opinion’ ranking? Starting from the bottom (by the way, I’m now at the ‘I flatly refuse to watch Victory Gundam’ stage so just write that one off entirely):

Mobile Suit Gundam AGE (2011) [The one I actively hate]

Mobile Suit Gundam F91 (1991) [Dull]

Mobile Suit Gundam 0083: Stardust Memory (1991) [Slightly less dull]

Mobile Suit Gundam SEED (2002) [Uninteresting]

Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack (1988) [Mean-spirited]

Mobile Suit Gundam: Hathaway (2021) [I intensely dislike the fight scenes]

Mobile Suit Gundam: Cucuruz Doan's Island (2022) [I honestly forgot to add this]

Mobile Suit Gundam (compilation movies; 1979) [Deserves smarter call-backs]

Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket (1989) [Good for what it is]

Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt (2015) [Also good for what it is]

Mobile Suit Gundam SEED: Destiny (2004) [Frustrating]

Mobile Suit Gundam 00/Mobile Suit Gundam 00 the Movie: A Wakening of the Trailblazer (2007/2010) [Bonkers, politically aggravating]

Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam (1985) [Interesting]

Mobile Suit Gundam: Unicorn (2010) [Well-made]

Mobile Suit Gundam ZZ (1986) [Fun but janky]

Mobile Suit Gundam the Witch from Mercury (2022) [See above]

Mobile Fighter G Gundam (1994) [Delightfully committed to the bit]

Mobile Suit Gundam Wing/Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz (1995/1997) [big for a reason]

Mobile Suit Gundam: Twilight AXIS (2017) [Nicely done]

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Origin (2015) [Best-case scenario for fannishness]

Mobile Suit Gundam Narrative (2018) [Surprisingly enjoyable]

Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team (1996) [Bags of fun]

Gundam Reconguista in G (2014) [Pretty popcorn]

After War Gundam X (1996) [Genuinely a lot cleverer than it looks]

Turn A Gundam (1999) [Deliriously smart]

B

I

G

G

A

P

Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans (2015) [Actively excellent]