#but every hobby in london seems to be '12 week intensive course to make you amazing '

[expatesque]

How do you make new friends in London in your mid-late 20s? Feeling pretty lonely and don’t know where to start!

Oh pal same. London is so hard - when I went to Bermuda it happened so easily and naturally, coming back here has been like a cold shock. But I'm not giving up, I'm taking my Bermuda lessons back with me.

What I'm doing:

- starting with the obvious. Inviting the girl I've always had good chats with to get lunch after tennis drill. Actually properly going to dinner with my secretary. Reconnecting with people from the past who I've fallen out of touch with.

- being more present. Less time with headphones in, more aware of the spaces around me. Hasn't worked yet but who knows, I could meet my next best friend at a bus stop.

- being open. The best thing I learned in Bermuda is that many, many more people can be good friends than just those I would naturally gravitate towards. When options are limited (the entire island is 51k people, and the pool of people around my age without kids was way, way smaller), you're more tolerant and willing to try things out. And I made such a good group of friends out there, with people who I probably wouldn't have said more than two sentences to in London.

- saying yes. To all kinds of things. Another Bermuda lesson: getting out of your comfort zone is a good thing, and it's easy to make fast friends when everyone feels silly.

- making the first move. Anti-British to talk to strangers, I know but I'm not British so fuck that. Compliment that girls earrings, make a joke about how long the line is to the gal next to you in the queue at the bar, ask the cool person at work for coffee. Brits are shy reserved, so if I have to do more work, fine. It's a small price to pay.

- lean on friends of friends. Who has your friend been talking about for years that you haven't met yet? Meet them. Throw a house party and tell people to bring people you don't know. Start telling your friends to bring their friends and colleagues along to drinks. I read this excellent article recently about what life was like before cell phones and man, it sounds pretty good. I'm going to try to establish a standing bar that my friends know I'll be at on a certain night to encourage more unplanned fun.

That's what I've got - anyone else have advice?

+ sleepover saturday