#but enjoy my bucky whores (affectionate)

[moonlight-prose]

(created by the ever so talented @buckybarnesj from this insanely good set!)

Dirty Little Secret

a/n: this was requested by an anon who's ask has literally been lost to the depths of tumblr hell. I'm sorry!! please let me know if you're seeing this babes and if your ask turns up i'll respond.

they asked to see an add on for bucky's secret that i put for his NSFW alphabet. after so fucking long it's here so i hope you enjoy it!!

very little editing and not beta read so apologies for mistakes!

summary: bucky's long kept secret soon becomes reality.

word count: 2.8k

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: explicit so MINORS GO AWAY, sub!bucky, slightly dom reader, usage of the term good boy, a tad bit of cockwarming, praise kink, p in v sex, cussing, begging, choking, seconds of oral (f receiving). let me know if i missed anything!

He didn’t tell you for reasons that seemed good enough - up until this very moment.

It wasn’t a secret per se. Wasn’t something he had to hide from you, but it’s something that he felt bad about. The one thing that he wanted to ask you to do, wanted to hear you day, and yet he couldn’t get the question out of his mouth. Couldn’t tear it from his throat, because he didn’t want you to say no. To look at him with an expression of disbelief. Or even worse...horror.

Because he’d seen that before. Had endured people regarding him with strange looks and even stranger words, but he couldn’t go through that with you. He wouldn’t survive if you were the one doing those things.

So he remained silent. Always clamping his mouth shut during the act, biting into your skin until it almost bled - he’d apologize profusely in the morning - in order to stop himself from letting that question loose. Except like always you noticed when things weren’t as they once were. You noticed that he wasn’t acting like himself, and that’s when the questions started. Where you asked him what was going on in that head of his, and reassured him that he could tell you anything.

And instead of biting his tongue this time...he let go of the words.

Which resulted in the situation you were in now. Sitting on his lap, tongue having just been in his mouth, as you regarded his words with careful sincerity. You didn’t want to mess this up, to have him shy away from you until you were left back at square one. And it’s not like you didn’t like what he said; didn’t find it all that odd in a way. It was just new to you.

When you first got together with Bucky, the sex was intimate. Soft enough to drive both of you insane, but it wasn’t his fault; he was still learning how to be soft. Relearning the act of being gentle. So you patiently waited until he had his fill, until he was the one asking if he could be a little rougher. And you said yes - without hesitation. The gentleness of the man before now became the roughness of the man beneath his armor.

The man who took back control of things he could not have; his feral need bleeding into something far more intense.

Sure you’d wake up tender, sore in all the right places, but you never pinned the blame on him. Never told him that he was too rough. And just like this you were seeing him open up another part of himself; seeing that he was trusting you enough to be a part of this experience. Of getting to know the man beneath the armor he wore day in and day out.

“So let me get this straight,” you said, cupping his cheek to let him know you were trying to understand. That you were considering this, because even you couldn’t deny the way you practically clenched down on nothing when he said it. “You want me...to dominate you?”

He nodded slowly, eyes trained on yours for any sign of hesitation. “It was just a suggestion. You don’t have to.”

“But you want me to.”

“We don’t have to-” Placing a hand over his mouth you smiled, already enjoying the sight of his eyes widening a fraction, a look in them you’d never seen before.

Removing your hand slowly, you ran a thumb along his bottom lip. “We do things that I want to do all the time. Let me do this for you baby.”

He didn’t say anything more, didn’t let his words ruin this because he was pretty sure this was nothing but a dream. A figment of his imagination and he’d wake up with a raging hard on in a few minutes. Except then you pressed a hand into his chest, lips curving into another smile that had him tingling to the very tips of his toes. A breathless sigh of his name leaving your mouth as you grind your hips down against him; head tilting back in pleasure.

“You want to be my good boy?” you asked, hand reaching up to tangle in his hair, tugging it sharply and earning a whine from him. A sound you’d never heard him make before. “I need to hear you say it baby.”

Digging his fingers into the sheets, he let his head fall back against the headboard. “Yes,” he replied, breath coming out in pants. Eyes shutting tight to stave off the rush of pleasure that spread through his spine.

If you weren’t careful this wouldn’t last, but he had faith that you knew what you were doing.

That you liked what you were doing.

Another desperate mewl ripped from this throat as you yanked on his hair, dragging his lips towards you in a kiss that melted him. Had him writhing underneath you in the hopes that you’d do something more. That you’d give him direction on what you wanted, because the control was now in your hands. You’d held a semblance of it before; willing to use it as you wished, but it was different now.

“I’m going to ride you.” The words were whispered against the shell of his ear; the demand, clear in your voice and he melted against you. Gripped onto your hips as you began to tug his sweatpants off; the feeling in his chest growing with every second.

He knew you would prolong this for as long as possible - testing his limits - because you could be cruel if the thought was appealing. But the quickness of your movements told him otherwise. You wanted him - knew you could have him - as fast as humanly possible. Any other night you would keep him begging, but his words had lit something within your body. A need that had been buried long before you knew it even existed.

“Keep your hands to yourself,” you said, pulling his arms up, until his wrists were pressed together over his head; hands gripping onto the bars of the headboard above. “No touching tonight.”

He nodded, feeling himself twitch at your words - a whine falling from his lips - because you were actually going through with this. You were giving him a reality he never thought possible. It only seemed to solidify his love for you; burying it deep in his chest until it was permanently marked there. A tattoo of his feelings, anchoring him to the ground.

Yanking off your own clothes you were quick to shuffle back over him, legs straddling his thighs as you regarded him with drooped eyelids. A smile crossing your lips in delight. He looked beautiful like this; his eyes pleading with you to touch him, mouth parting as he heaved in breath after breath. Bucky wanted anything you’d give him. He’d take it all the same; welcome it with open arms and a thank you on his lips, because it was from you.

“Look at you,” you murmured, running a hand across his stomach - feeling his muscles contract underneath the skin. “So pretty like this.”

A gasp echoed off the walls - his body twitching underneath you - and it only furthered your interest. How many sounds could you get him to make? How many times could you get him to beg for you to give him something? An ounce of pleasure, of skin on skin contact. Without trying Bucky had unlocked a door - allowing a hurdle of emotions to spill free into your awaiting mind.

“Please-” His words cut off - morphing into a broken sound - when your hand wrapped around him. Thumb teasing lightly at the head of his cock to spread what had begun to spill over.

You cooed his name, pumping him slowly with just enough pressure to have his head falling back, eyes fluttering shut. “What does my pretty boy want?”

He choked, head lifting to look at you and for a second you wondered if that was the limit. If you had crossed a line. Only the feral glint in his eyes told you differently - his teeth baring to stave off the sudden tightening of his balls. Right on the edge of losing his mind and it gave him relief when you let go, when you gave him a moment to catch his breath.

“Fuck baby,” he groaned, hands gripping onto the headboard until you could see the splintering in the wood begin.

“Were you about-” A nod was your only answer as he continued to heave in breaths, dragging himself back from the very edge. “Just from me saying that?”

Bucky huffed out a laugh, the blush on his skin never fading, because he had liked what you said. So much so that he didn’t know if he’d last being inside you - no matter how much he wanted it. Inhaling deeply he calmed his nerves, feeling how they jumped underneath his skin; hoping that it would cease his desperation. Give him the strength he needed to last until you said he was done.

“Keep going please,” he said softly, eyes opening again to see your parted mouth. Your own eyes wide with disbelief at the realization that you held more power over him than you thought. “I’m okay baby, just - fuck please - keep going.”

Nodding you felt the heat spread from the base of your spine to the very tips of your toes - a high of power rushing through you. This must be what it’s like. To know that you had the upper hand in a situation; and you wondered if this is what he felt like. When going up against an opponent in battle. The high that came with holding control - addicting in its own dangerous way - but something you’d give back to him if he so wished.

Moving up his body, you grasped his now leaking cock in your hand - the hissed out breath he let out was far more appealing than you thought. Or maybe that was just the position you were in. You didn’t have time to think it over, didn’t want to spend another second on it, because he was begging you. Words falling from his lips faster than he could comprehend them. A mixture of pleas and whispers of how good he could be for you, how much of your pretty boy he was.

Without replying, you sunk down onto him slowly, watching intently as his head fell back. A cry of your name echoing off the walls - his hips jolting upwards to hopefully gain more of that sweet heat. To have you fully encompass him until he was ready to lose himself fully.

“Oh - fuck.” Your head tilted back, the pinch of pain at the stretch of him within your walls was enough to have your breath quicken. Fingers digging into the skin of his stomach as you settled fully on top of him; content to remain there for a few moments.

That is until he began shifting. Pushing himself deeper to hopefully force you to start moving, and in a reaction you didn’t expect you clamped a hand around his throat. Catching his attention - forcing him to freeze in place - you leaned down to drag your lips across his lightly. You weren’t sure where it had come from; why you felt this was the right thing to do, but you weren’t stopping yet. Not when you could feel the way he twitched inside you, eyes rolling back for a moment before returning to your face once more.

“Someone’s being greedy,” you mumbled against his lips, nose brushing his.

He shook his head quickly. “I promise I’m not,” he replied - voice brimming with need, with utter desperation.

“Are you sure? I thought you were my good boy.”

The sound that tore from his throat was obscene enough to have you clenching around him. Your body, just as much on edge as his was and while you would have given in already - you wanted to see him writhe underneath you. Maybe it was cruel of you to have him beg, to have him plead with you through his voice, eyes, everything he could. But with every beg you felt him tense underneath you, cock twitching soon after.

He was enjoying this - and that was all you wanted in the end.

“Baby please. I’m good. I’ll be good.”

The smile flashed across your lips quickly as you sat up straight, hand still around his throat - satisfaction filling your veins. That was all you needed to grind your hips against his. Hearing the cry of pleasure that he let loose - each one following your every movement against him. He was beautiful. A vision of the man you adored with everything in your body.

“So - ah fuck - good for me Bucky,” you rasped out, hand tightening slightly when you lifted yourself off him only to slam back down. His breath being knocked out of his chest from just that in itself.

You could feel it - the tightening in the lower base of your stomach - enough to have you speeding up your movements. The promise of complete and utter euphoria, mere inches from you, but tonight you wanted to see the man below you shatter first. Wanted to watch his eyes as he broke apart with your name on his lips.

Slotting your lips over his you sucked his tongue into your mouth, the taste of him enough to have you bearing down on him - desperate to feel him give into the pleasure. Eager to give him what he wanted in the end. His eyes met yours - the daze in them only adding to the fucked out expression on his face - and you knew he was there. On the very edge with only one thing blocking him from an earth-shattering release.

Your permission.

“Do you want to cum pretty boy?” you asked, nuzzling your nose against his cheek, slowing your pace to a slow roll of your hips that had his breath stuttering.

He nodded. “Yes please.”

It was the whimpered out please that had you saying the words against the corner of his lips. Intent on watching his face as it happened. “Cum for me Bucky.”

You clenched around him, dragging his hand to your clit to shove you off the edge with him and he pinched it between his fingers at the same time his mouth fell open. The scream of his name, enough to have you gasping - legs shaking slightly from the crashing waves of pleasure that overtook your body. Only it was the sight of him - head tossed back, teeth digging into his bottom lip - that had your body nearly collapsing onto him from the onslaught of sensations.

“Shit, shit, shit-” he bit out, hips thrusting upwards into you deeper to prolong the feeling and unknowingly sending you higher.

Minutes passed until you were able to lift your head off his chest, eyes surely just as dazed as his were. The high of your orgasm beginning to fade - returning you back to reality. The same one that involved him smiling down at you as he floated back down to earth - the feeling in his legs having yet to return.

“Was that what you wanted?” you asked, the dominant tone now gone from your voice. Replaced by the voice of the woman he loved.

Rolling over - somehow still managed to remain inside you - he pressed you into the bed. His forehead against yours. “It was more.”

“But still good?”

He huffed out a laugh, lips pressing quickly to yours before pulling back. “I can’t feel my legs yet so I’d say it was pretty damn incredible.”

“Yeah?” you asked, smiling against his skin.

“I love you.” He kissed your shoulder, his teeth scraping against the skin gently. “Perfect. My perfect girl.”

The smile was involuntary as you dug your hands into his hair in order to drag his lips back to yours. “I love you Bucky.” You couldn’t hear the whispers that he began to press into your skin, trying to brand you with his love. Invisible marks to remind you how much he truly adored every piece of you.

“Your good boy?” he asked, eyes meeting yours as he made his way down your body, lips warm against your stomach.

Nodding you gasped as he nudged his nose against your clit. “Always my good boy.”

He hummed a response about cleaning up his mess, about taking care of you, but they were drowned out by the feel of his tongue against you. His moan sending shocks through your body and sparks across your skin. And it was then that you realized, getting out of this bed would no longer be an option.

At least not for a few more hours.

𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬:

@karasong @queenbbarnes @charmedbysarge @jenrebloggingfics @princess76179 @spideysimpossiblegirl @intothesoul

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬:

@pamguini @blondekel77 @the-purity-pen @princess-and-pedro @phoenixhalliwell @justanotherblonde23 @autumnleaves1991-blog @Greeneyedblondie44 @amelia-song-pond @ladylothlorien @littlebopper96 @a-little-counter-esperanto

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Off Day: Seventeen

Bucky stared at his phone and felt a little light-headed from the speed at which blood had poured into his erection when he opened your message. It was a picture, one that he had asked for on his “To-Do List” that he made.

He knew you liked to torment him, however sweetly. You’d embraced flirting with him quickly and had just as quickly embraced sending him flirty pictures. This one though. It was filthy. One of the things he had put on there that would take you some prep time if you decided to take it for him. A way for you to stay distracted if you got overwhelmed. Or sad. Or any of the other feelings that tended to exacerbate your symptoms.

It made his mouth go dry and his fingers trembled as he tried to type a response. It was a pin-up photo. Artful but undeniably sexy. You were kneeling in front of a mirror in the middle of putting makeup on. Nude but for a pair of heels and the choker he’d bought you. The one with the blue jewel set in gold on a piece of black velvet ribbon. You’d fallen in love with it and protested him buying it. But, it was worth it. You’d changed the jewelry in your nipple piercings to match it. Your thighs were slightly parted and he could just barely see the pink of your folds. But the thing that made him throb was when his eye was drawn down to your plush bottom. He could see the wink of a jewel. Of a toy he’d told you to use. It was beautiful. It made him feel like he was standing behind you, waiting for you to get ready. Watching you. Admiring you from afar.

“Barnes,” Clint said snatching his phone, “Quit lookin’ at porn. You’ll be home tomorrow.”

Clint glanced down at his phone and recoiled, “Oh shit,” he tossed the phone back at Bucky like he’d been shocked, “God. What? Fuck. How do you get a girl to do that?”

“Ask nicely,” Bucky said blushing a little. 

“Do you think Nat would do that for me?” Clint asked

“Do what? Nat asked sitting across from them.

“Take dirty pictures and send them to me,” Clint said.

Nat shot Bucky a look, “Bucky!”

“I didn’t show him,” Bucky protested, “Clint took my fucking phone.”

“Was it at least pretty?” Nat asked clint, smirking.

“Very artistic. She put some effort in. I mean. In another life she woulda made a good alt model.” he said, cheeks coloring a little. 

Bucky can’t look at either one of them right now. He feels a little like he might have betrayed your trust by Clint getting a peek at you. He promised they’d only be for him. 

“I’m not tellin’ her I saw shit though,” Clint said, “I just thought Bucky was watching porn hub. I didn’t know he was doing some freaky shit with his girl.”

Nat snorted, “Oh,” she said, “So you did make a list.”

Bucky nodded, smiling a little, “Yeah,” he said, “thanks for putting that idea in her head.”

Nat grinned, “You’re welcome... We were talking about her doing makeup to distract herself... I was kinda kidding when I suggested dirty pictures but it worked. She likes making you happy. Or teasing you. I’m not sure which.”

“Yes,” Bucky answered nodding. Still blushing. But, it was nice knowing that you and Nat did girl things. Nat didn’t spend much time around women. They irritated her. At least. Most of the women in the bar did. They were pretend tough girls. Bitches. They might ride bikes and drink but they were really boring to her. She liked women that were smart and individual. Not mean girls. She had enough of those in High School. 

Nat snorted, “Nice,” she said, “I knew she was a keeper.”

Bucky picked up his phone to message you back, saving the picture for later in the secret file on his phone

He lavishes praise on you. You’re beautiful and perfect. That picture is hot. It’s so sexy he doesn’t know how he’s gonna sleep tonight looking at it. And thank you so much for showing him.

_______

Bucky is glad to be home. It’s chilly outside but it’s warm inside the clubhouse. He’s missed you and he wanted to go straight to White Rabbit to see you but you made him promise not to. You had something you were working on for him, apparently in a back room and didn’t want him to see it. He was itching to see you. It had been three days and he hadn’t slept well the whole time. He’d not realized how used to you he’d gotten. How much better he slept next to you. He sipped his beer and watched the clock, counting seconds until you’d wander through the door. 

You were always welcome, even when Bucky wasn’t there just by virtue of being a sweetheart who always paid her tab in full. And by being friendly to Nat and generally patient when waiting for a drink. They all liked you. Even the ones that didn’t remember you from school. If only because you did what they couldn’t do and got Bucky out of a bad relationship. He finished his beer and ordered his second, going to join Steve and Sam at the pool table, trying to kill time until you would be there. It worked. He’d hardly looked at the clock.

He was honestly surprised when you burst through the door, wearing a green pleated skirt and white blouse. Hair up in a bun behind your head and pretty red lips. Knee socks and cute little heeled oxfords. You look like a librarian. Out of place in the bar. Still, when you bolt into his arms and wrap your legs around his waist easily, he chuckles against your lips as you tangle your hands in his hair. He can’t stop you and he doesn’t want to. He hefts you up and ignores the jeers and whoops. There’s nothing but you. Your perfume. The feel of your eager, hungry lips against his. When you come up for air he grins, “Miss me?” he asked, teasing.

“So much,” you say smiling, a little breathless.

“Is this outfit for me?” he asks, kissing your nose.

“Do you like it? I did some shopping when I was up in Red Key.” you look uncertain and he smiles. You have an aesthetic. One you never had enough money to dress for. He really likes watching you build your dream closet a little at a time. Even if he has to threaten to punish you if you don’t buy whatever you’re drooling over occasionally. You deserve it and he likes knowing you feel pretty. He also likes wrapping his leather jacket around you when you’re chilly. He likes how big it is on you and the way it clashes with your neat, pretty style. 

“I love it,” he rumbles, “You look real good baby girl. I’m a lucky man, coming home to such a beautiful girl.”

You flush at the praise and he kisses your nose again, “Did you buy yourself anything else?”

“Some pretties and I got my nails done,” you tell him. 

He whistles softly and smiles, “Good to know the money I gave you to run around with went to good use, Princess,” he praised. You hadn’t asked but he’d made sure to give you a little something just to entertain yourself with. He’d left it on your dresser in the jar you kept to save up for this or that. 

You tilt your head, “Oh no. I used that to get you something,” you say smiling, kissing his cheek. “I had a ton of money in my Princess fund so I used what you left me for something else.”

“Y/N,” he scolded, “You were supposed to use that on something for you.”

“I did. It made me happy buying you something,” you murmur, cheeks coloring. 

He swatted your backside affectionately, “Why’re you so sweet, huh?”

“I dunno,” you answer, wiggling to be put down.

“Nuh-uh,” he said, shifting you onto his shoulder and carrying you over to the bar to sit with you on his lap, “Have a glass of wine with me?” he asked. 

You sigh, “Not today,,” you say shaking your head. Bucky kisses your head and signals to Nat to put it on his tab as she pours a coke for you. She kept a four-pack of Mini bottles and one wine glass. You were the only one that drank wine, when you did drink and it tickled her.

“Thank you,” you tell her, smiling and raising your glass in toast. “I still don’t understand how the fuck you walked into a biker bar and ordered wine,” she teased.

“Well, you stock it now don’t you?” you answer.

“Only because it’s you and we feel bad making fun of you.”

You shrug, “Much like the sloth, my plan for survival seems to be being as pathetic as possible so that bigger badder people leave me alone.”

Natasha snorted. She could appreciate that you were yourself. You didn’t like beer and wouldn’t pretend to fit in. You’d sip your glass of wine and crack quiet jokes.

“Pathetic?” Sam gasped scandalized, teaching across the bar to grab another bottle, “You’ve successfully whipped the most unrepentant man whore I have ever met AND you get to talk back to Natasha and live.”

“He wasn’t a man whore,” you say leaning against Bucky’s side, “He just didn’t know better.”

“And I’m pretty sure she’s the one that’s whipped,” Steve snickered.

Your cheeks burn and Natasha winces sympathetically, “Steve,” she says, spraying him with seltzer, “You’re fucking Stark so you should probably let the two of them just have their French vanilla sex and enjoy it.”

Bucky tilts your chin up and kisses you softly, cuddling you close and casually flipping off the guys that are D’aww-ing loudly. He’s never understood why guys act like assholes to their girls in public. You deserved soft all the time. You deserved to be able to look to him to feel safe whether or not his friends could see him.

“Shut up, ya animals,” Nat sighed. 

______________________

Bucky walked into the house and set his bag down by the door then set you down on the table, standing between your legs and putting his chilled hands on your thighs, rubbing tenderly to warm them up. You shiver and he chuckles, “I missed you, Princess,” he murmurs, kissing your nose.

“I missed you too, daddy,” you answer, hiding your face in his abs.

“You were a handful while I was gone,” he chuckles, “I loved all the pretty pictures you sent me.”

“You did?”

“I did,” he praised, “Lost a lot of sleep wishing I was here to admire how perfect you are in person.”

You beam up at him and he takes the pins out of your hair carefully, letting it fall down to your shoulders. “You’re so perfect,” he hummed, kissing your nose.

Your cheeks color and you nuzzle his abs again, “Can I give you your present now?” 

He chucks you under the chin, “You mean the present I told you not to buy?”

“But-” Your face falls and he tickles your side, making you giggle.

“No, no being sad,” he tuts, “Of course you can Princess.” He helps you off the table and listens to your shoes hit the floor outside the door and then listens to you scamper up the stairs. You’re excited. Thrilled about whatever this is and Bucky braces himself. Even if he hates whatever it is, he’s not gonna tell you. Not ever. You’re too sweet and he knows that whatever it is you saw it and thought it was perfect for him. That’s enough.

He helps himself to a beer and waits, listening to the rustling coming from upstairs. He shakes his head and settles into a kitchen chair waiting. When you come back downstairs with a black gift bag in your hand he smirks. You always tried so hard not to make things too feminine for him. He appreciated it but honestly, he wasn’t phased. He’d carry your purse and not even blink. He was a big scary biker. Ain’t no one saying shit. 

“What’s this, huh?” he said pulling you onto his knee and taking tissue paper out of the bag and tossing it aside.

You’re practically vibrating with excitement and he pulls the gift out of the bag. It’s a leather jacket. A tiny leather jacket. Like baby-sized. Bucky stops and looks at you. Your hands are over your mouth and you’re watching him waiting on his reaction. “Princess,” he said, not quite able to breathe, “I don’t think this is my size.”

He definitely can’t breathe. He can’t think. If you’re telling him what he thinks you’re saying he has to protect you. He has to keep you safe. 

“Bucky I-” you start and he can hear the anxiety in your voice and that hurts. He forces himself to smile and wipes a stray happy tear off your cheek. 

“I thought you were on birth control,” he said, feeling like his lips are numb.

“And they put me on antibiotics for my sinus infection- I- I’m sorry. I didn’t- I’m sorry.” You’re starting to cry in earnest now, springing off of his lap and covering your face with your hands. 

“Sweetheart,” he soothed, holding his hands out for you to take, “I just- I’m surprised. I think- I think I might have gone into shock for a second.” It’s breaking his heart to see you cry. He hates it. He can’t. It makes him think about all the times you cried and he wasn’t there to dry your tears. “Please, baby girl,” he coaxes, “Please don’t cry. Not like this. I’m sorry. I’m happy I promise.”

“No, you’re not,” you sniffle, wiping your eyes on the back of your hand and wrapping your arms around yourself.

He crosses the floor to you and passes you a clean handkerchief from the inside pocket of his jacket. You take it and he kisses your head while you bow your head and try to rein in all your emotions. Something Bucky still appreciates about your crying. It’s always real. He gives you the time you need before he starts talking again. Taking just a second to decide what to say. And rein in his own panic. His own irrational fear. His dad left. He didn’t know how to be a dad. He could barely take care of himself. How would he teach his son? And oh god, what if it was a girl? What would he do? 

When you look up at him though, he can’t think about that. All he knows is he has to fix this for you. You’re his. This baby is his. And this isn’t about him. Not really. You’re trusting him. Giving him this. You could have had an abortion and not told him and he’d never know. You’re looking up at him, uncertain and scared and he realizes with a jolt that he wasn’t the only one that was scared, you’d just had some time to adjust to it. Some time to decide you could do this. With him. 

“You’re right,” he says softly, “I’m not happy. I’m terrified.” He kneels in front of you and nuzzles your belly, kissing gently. You pet his hair, waiting. “I don’t- I don’t really know what to do with kids ya know? My dad left- a bunch of times. I don’t really know how to be a dad. I mean. Until recently I was drunk every night and fucking a bunch of different girls.” He looks up at you and smiles a little, “But if I can do this with anyone, Y/N, I can do it with you.”

“Really?” you whimper,  tucking hair behind his ear.

“Really.” 

“Promise?” you hold out your pinky and he links his pinky through yours, pressing his lips to your thumb and pressing his thumb against it to lock it. 

“I promise, Princess,” he said getting to his feet slowly and wrapping his arms around you, “I only get one chance. I’m not gonna fuck this up. Not now that I fooled you into thinking I’m a nice guy.”

You roll your eyes but giggle, making him swat your bottom affectionately. “When did you find out?” he asks softly, setting you on the counter and taking a cool cloth to your face gently.

“About 15 minutes before the girls showed up with pizza for our sleepover,” you murmur. 

He kisses your nose, “Have you seen a doctor?”

“Not yet but. Three tests on three different days seemed pretty definitive... I wanted to tell you first before I did anything.”

“We need to get you an appointment, Princess,” he murmured, kissing you softly, “We just got you healthy. I wanna keep you that way. Both of you.” He swipes at your nose gently with the cloth and you smile.

“You’re gonna keep me?”

“Of course I am,” he murmured, “You’re my Princess, and this is for both of us to handle, okay? Just give me some time to process it all. I promise. I’m okay. It was just a shock, baby.”

“Can we have a cuddle?” you ask, needing some comfort.

Bucky nods and helps you gently off the counter, “And snacks. I’m hungry.”

You nod and bucky Listens to your little white socked feet on the wood floors as he glances towards the tiny jacket on the table, “Ma is gonna kill me,” he murmurs rubbing the back of his neck.

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