#but eh who gaf

[hyperlaser]

★

ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs ᴏɴ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴀʀɢᴇᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴋᴀᴛᴀɴᴀ ᴏɴ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴘʜɪɢʜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇ's ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ ?

★

fuck that guy.

[crow-man9000]

coach z coach z 1 2 1 2!!!!

[linkneol091]

Some doodles of petermj in my spider man au x jojo ( this petermj are so different from ogs that they’re their own characters at this point)

[puumaja]

your misogyny was shining calling her "sweetheart." women aren't sugar, spice, and everything nice, pink, frills, caring, domestic. kys

cant even say sweetheart anymore... because of woke...

[wedbetter]

my best tip btw if any of you gaf. is uh laying on your back. bend your knee tightly and use the sole of your foot to hold in your vibrator. also okay real talk who else is like addicted to the slightly ticklish super horny feeling of light vibration against the sole of your foot. like is this bc i have oddly intense erogenous foot feelings or is this standard for everyone. is my foot thing part of it. am i just rambling for so long this post is a waste of time. maybe so..

[martitheevans]

Nothing more humbling than drinking too much and being sick

[kavehayati]

THIS IS SO HUMBLING FR CAUSE the only ppl who did reach out were Hal dahlia and meto (out of the billions of ppl ik)

[humanmorph]

today i caved and turned on both the unlimited stamina AND invincibility mode for tunic because i got sick of being stuck. if theres an option for this in the menu under accessability youre damn right ill just do that

[flowersintheimpala69]

Not to be a hater but I can not STAND when people give characters internalized homophobia for plot or whatever especially when it’s so ooc.

Like Will does NOT care that he’s in love with Hannibal (a man) I think he’s actually more preoccupied with the CANNIBAL thing.

Crowley and Aziraphale are literally billion years old genderless beings. I’m sure they do not care or worry about them being queer. In fact the demon vs angel thing is DEFINITELY more pressing.

Also with destiel I can see Dean having internalized issues cuz toxic masculinity and all that but cas would not care. He’s an angel. He transcends gender. He doesn’t have a strict option of sexuality.

Newtmas too. Like. They sorta have more pressing issues yall.

Satosugu as well. Like I GUESS it’s plausible cuz it’s Japan and like they were in school in the 2000s but also like. There are so much more interesting things to write for them that internalized homophobia is like. Eh.

Okay sorry ranting but I keep seeing “why not?… I wish u were a girl” videos on TikTok with characters who would NOT gaf and I feel like there are better ways to add angst that aren’t like. Queer trauma porn.

[your-nanas-house]

what if the reader is a spy inside the blinders and has been doing a really good job of keeping a secret and just BARELY slips. tommy finds out. is impressed so they hookup like he doesn’t gaf😭

Took me a moment to find a fitting plot, hope you will like it!! 💗

A juicy bad apple

◇ Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Spy!reader

◇ Warnings: angst, anger, lust, SMUT, denied orgasm, rough sex, Tommy using Y/n's cunt, cold/mean Tommy

◇ Summary: Tommy finds out who the bad apple in his business was

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. Thank you @mrkdvidal1989 for your advice!

Tommy was sitting at his desk, his head low and his eyes focused on his papers as his hand kept writing down, when Y/n walked in just like he asked her to.

There was silence, she had knocked two times before his low voice allowed her to walk in, his eyes glued on the papers as soon as he glanced at her, moving his hand gesturing her to sit down on the guest chairs.

So she did, she walked carefully there and sat down, as she simply waited to finally know the reason because her boss wanted her there; her eyes kept following his movements even when he simply took a cigarette from its box and placed it between his lips, letting it hang lazily before lighting it to take a few long pulls.

He rested slowly against the chair back, blowing slowly out the smoke in an almost hypnotic way, his eyes finally stopping on her.

"I bet— you know how Peaky Blinders was formed and…after all the time you've worked for us, I bet you know all too well our dynamics and how we deal with things" Tommy started, eyeing her up and down, humming as she nodded to let him continue

"There have been... issues within the Peaky Blinders. We heard word that there may be traitors among us, some who wish to undermine us and cut off our roots— I never thought we'd have moles within our ranks, but it seems there are always a few bad apples and I will see to it personally to weed them out" he continued, his eyes staring intently at Y/n who was looking back at him, listening at every word he was saying

"After all....family is important, and it is what we are built on. Family means everything, eh".

Thomas words kept swirling inside of Y/n's head, she knew that she was hiding something and she had this bad feeling that kept telling her than Thomas knew it too, she didn't had proofs so she had to keep her act going and don't break under his icy stare.

"I'm not sure why you are talking with me about this, Mr Shelby" Y/n replied, watching him blow out the smoke from his nostrils before replying with a teasing smirk on his handsome face

"why not?" he simply said, getting carefully up to be able to stand now in front of his desk and lean against it, his eyes never leaving her.

Tommy could clearly see the tension in her body, which betrayed her for a split moment, before she managed to hide it behind her mask again, her jaw tightly closed.

When he opened his mouth again, his tone was low, almost teasing but still firm and dominant

"Is there something you want to tell me, luv. Perhaps something you've been keeping from me? Or maybe you are indeed as innocent as you seem, eh?" the gangster murmured the last part as he approached her sitting form, allowing his hand to grip her chin softly, stroking in slow motions her skin

"I don't know what you're talking about, sir—" Y/n quickly replied, playing dumb, making Tommy smirk, a hint of amusement in his icy cold eyes.

He moved slowly away, circling her as if he was a predator and she was his prey, his hands caressing the fabric of the chair Y/n was sitting on

"Your eyes betray you, luv" he simply said, causing a reaction out of Y/n who was more than aware of her leak of ability of hiding her emotion from her eyes.

She quickly got up, attempting to leave the room after whispering under her breath "Fuck—" Thomas reflects where faster though, his rough hand grabbed her shoulder pulling her in a sitting position again, there wasn't anger in his eyes but more like amusement.

Not that Y/n could know since he was standing behind her.

"Where do you think you're going?" his voice brushed her ear shell, making her body go still in fear

"Mr Shelby—" she tried, her heart beating fast against her chest, if there was someone she didn't want to face it was Thomas Shelby.

His grip on her shoulder tightened a bit, making her flinch, his breath was warm against the back of her neck and his voice got lower sending shivers down her spine

"Let me ask you a question, luv...Are you my little problem? The bad apple I need to take care of?" he asked softly, knowing already the answer for his question, which didn't came since Y/n was too afraid to say it out loud, fearing the consequences of her actions.

Thomas made her stand up as he continued to surround her while he walked, his eyes staying on her body and face the whole time, his breath getting heavier while his mind wandered at taboo scenarios

"You know what we usually say?" he murmured, standing again behind her, taking a step forward so that their bodies were pressed together and she could feel something poking her from behind— probably his gun she thought.

"Don't fuck with the Peaky Blinders" Tommy replied to his own question, his breath getting heavier against the back of her neck

"Guess that we can make an exception, eh" he murmured with a raspy voice, pushing her down on his desk, her face pressed hard just like her body against the wooden surface

"It's yer lucky day, luv. You really impressed me with your antics and it would be really a waste to get ride of a pretty face like yours, am I right?" he murmured as he unbuckled his pants, doing a quick job to open them and free his leaking cock.

The tension in the room was palpable, Tommy hunger was nearly suffocating while Y/n fear started to turn into arousal.

A small whimper left Y/n's mouth as soon as Tommy pushed her back down after she tried to peak at what he was doing, earning a harsh slap on her ass

"I really feel like rewarding you, luv, after all you have done for us even if you were working for someone else— but I have to punish you too, can't leave yer go like this without doing anything, right? I have a reputation after all" he murmured in her ear as he worked on her skirt and underwear, pulling them both down to expose her sex to him.

The young woman let out a small whimper, taking a deep breath at the sound of Tommy using his big hand to pump his hard cock a couple of time, opening her pussy with his thick fingers before spitting on it so that he could now thrust his leaking cock inside

"You like this deal? You take the punishment and I keep an eye on you but you can keep working for us, or better for me now on, luv. Yes?" he asked, rubbing the tip of his cock against her folds, lining it with her entrance— thrusting only in when she agreed.

His thrust was rough and harsh, just like the other ones that came after it— he was holding her hips as he kept fucking her with no care, ignoring her whimpers and whines, just focusing on reaching his own peak.

"So fucking tight, luv" he praised between clenched teeth, pulling nearly out completely before thrusting back in, letting all his frustration and anger leave his whole body like that.

"Fuck— Taking me so well" he murmured again, biting harshly the skin of her shoulder blade as he continued to thrust, reaching slowly his climax.

His breath getting heavier and heavier as more moan and grunts left his mouth till he finally pulled out to stroke it and shoot his load on her back with a long sigh of pleasure, his body shaking and finally relaxing.

Thomas caught his breath before slapping her right ass cheek to make her move from his desk, fixing his pants before sitting back at on his chair, ready to continue with his work

"Go clean yourself, I will expect you tomorrow in my office at the same time".

Taglist:

@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj @wife-of-magic-monkeys , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny, @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher, @sleepycreativewriter , @mrkdvidal1989

[untoldstar]

gn! vampire x gn! reader who doesn’t gaf

Vampire who’s honestly sick of humans at this point.

An encounter with a human is just insulting to them. They’re a bloodthirsty predator who have been feared for centuries and now when they corner someone to drink their blood instead of a look of fear they get..pure delight?!

Peoples minds have been so washed by movies that they have lost any sense of self preservation. Instead of screaming for help they get giddy and excited. They’ve even encountered one person who purposed an arrangement of combining sex and feeding.

They obviously killed them after that and they didn’t even get their fill. After hearing such a thing you kind of lose your appetite.

One night they stumbled across you. Walking all along in the dead of night. No passing cars no witnesses..it’s almost too easy.

Eh they’ll try their luck. If you turn out to be annoying they’ll just snap your neck.

They drop down on you and corner you in an alley way smirking when they hear your heartbeat picking up. They force your head to the side and bare their fangs, their breath a chill fanning across your exposed neck.

“Silly human..Wandering around so helplessly, it’s almost as if you want me to feast on you.” They pause waiting for the usual breathy excited response.

They’ve come across people who go to deserted areas late at night on purpose hoping to stumble upon a hungry vampire. Those idiots don’t realize there could be humans who are far- far worse than vampires lurking in the darkness.

You sigh and their ears ache as they remember all the responses they’ve gotten over the last decades

“Can you not? I literally just got laid off my job. On a night shift too! Couldn’t fire me before I spent an entire night there?” You huff “I just really can’t do this tonight.”

Their eyes widen and they whip their head up with complete bewilderment all over their face “..What did you just say?!” That..was the last thing they were expecting to hear from a human.

Yes they always expect the usual excited responses. Of course there’s the terrified ones and even though they’re few and far between that doesn’t mean they’re completely crossed off the equation. But this..whatever it is you’re doing right now they weren’t expecting it.

What they didn’t know is that similar to themselves you were honestly done with the bullshit of everything. You couldn’t give a single shit what happens to you anymore. The economy sucks, the planet is dying, people have become desensitized and apathetic. Honestly either you go first or the planet does whichever goes quick.

But tonight was just really not it.

You wince “Also, I wouldn’t recommend my blood.” Valerians frown only deepens “My bloodwork is terrible. Honestly, I think it would have the opposite effect on you, I’m only saying this for your safety.” Valerian hisses “My safety- What are you blabbing about human?” They sneer “My immortality does not mean I am patient.” You huff and look around before going to pull your phone out of your pocket “Wanna reschedule?”

Valerian have never had an encounter as strange as as this one. How refreshing~ Perhaps they’ll run into you again, until then..they have to find their next meal.

part 2

How valerian was looking at reader the entire conversation:

[unnamed-proxy]

Peak into my ramblings

The poppy playtime brainrot is hitting so hard today hold me back hold me back HOLD ME BACK-

[fanficfanattic]

Merry Mini-Fic-Mas @readwing!

Tyler knew things changed, of course they did, and you didn’t play for Ted Lasso without realizing that to an extreme. He figured it would have changed even more so once The Roy Kent became head coach.

He’d missed out on Lasso’s last season, having jumped ship before promotion only to end up on a team that was relegated the season he played for them. At least one of those teammates had started a rumor that he was cursed.

And maybe they were right since he ended up going back to his previous club, Richmond, rather than being able to make a true club jump.

Still, football was football, so at least the game didn’t go changing on him.

And the second day of preseason training showed him what else hadn’t changed either:

Jamie Tartt and Roy Kent butted heads just like always. The big difference being that Tartt did what he was told on the pitch, so Lasso’s lessons must have stuck with him somewhat.

He hadn’t planned to get in the middle of it at all. He really hadn’t. But then Tartt set up a perfect volley and he had to take it, didn’t he?

“What did you just say to me you little prick!” Was what Kent yelled at him.

“I said ‘you know I’m right!’ Do you need to get your ears checked, granddad?” Was Tartt’s response, so Tyler stepped right up to add—

“Maybe his eyesight too, eh Tartt? Since you don’t see as well at night, Kent, who gets to be Head Coach for our evening games?” It might have come out a little too aggressive, rather than the little bit teasing that he’d meant. Excuse him, nobody is perfect.

Except. Except the tone must have mattered a great deal because the room went eerily quiet, making Roja’s gasp sound louder than life. He almost gasped himself when both Tartt and Kent turned in unison to stare him down.

“Oi!” Coach Kent broke the silence. Then, like a finely tuned clock, Tartt wove into the dressing down. “You don’t talk to the gaffer like that!”

“You talk to him like that all the time!” And maybe he said that a little petulantly. Because their head coach had the right to call him on his shit. McAdoo had a right to as well even though he wasn’t exercising it right then.

But Tartt wasn’t in any kind of position of power. And he thought he got to have a say? Not on his life. What Tyler had failed to notice and take into account is that Jamie did have a stake in the matter. Just not as a footballer.

“Actually, I don’t talk to our gaffer like that! I talk to my best friend Roy like that. The only time Coach refers to me as a prick is when he activates Prick Mode during a match. My best friend Roy uses it all the time. It’s affectionate like.”

Head Coach Roy fucking Kent ignored the claim of affection to instead eviscerate his player.

“This is your problem, Shannon. You don’t pay attention to details. And you don’t ask questions when you don’t understand something. But that stops today! You need to be able to do see beyond your nose for Total Football to work.

So here’s what you’re going to do. You’re adding an extra hour of film review at the end of every training day. If you don’t understand something, you’ll ask Coach Nate about it the next morning before training starts. And then Coach Beard will test your knowledge while you run laps before you’ll be able to join morning training.

If he doesn’t assure me that you’re improving, each week, we’ll revisit your ability to play. Sound fair?”

He tried to school the shock off his face so he could reply but it didn’t work so he choked out “Ye…yes Gaf-“

“That was a rhetorical question mate. He wasn’t actually asking your opinion. Good luck!” Tartt blasted a beaming smile at him before turning back to his best friend Roy.

“Can we do kebabs tonight?”

“Fuck no, you little idiot. I don’t care if it’s ‘only preseason’. You-“ and he cut off as the door to the coaching office closed behind him.

[janiedean]

i have seen people claim that the situation with brienne will be the thing that pushes jaime back to cersei. also I have seen people compare what brienne is going through with stoneheart to what jaime went through with aerys and saying brienne may need to put her down

I am the second people and not the first people but like….

I don’t wanna sound rude or anything but with this fandom I feel like no one grasps the point of occam’s razor like sorry but

- jaime spends affc getting progressively away from cers and burns her letter at the end when in agot he’d have dropped everything to run there

- jaime in adwd barely thinks about her and goes like eh ig i’ll have to see her again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and runs off with brienne

- as i am people 2… listen brienne is having the EXACT same aerys situation except worse because like aerys always was a pos and jaime hated him for two years and never gaf about him beyond he’s the king, cat was literally the first woman to treat brienne properly and like a human being and like she RESPECTED her and trusting her with being her liege lady and gave her her first knight job so to speak, also cat was a generally nice person (OVERALL the jon thing doesn’t count but to brienne cat was a good thing) and became a zombie after being horrifically murdered like….. sorry but brienne having to murder her former liege lady gone mad out of grief because she’s out of control and is killing innocents when she cares about cat and knows she was a good person before is like…. kind of hitting worse than killing a guy whom you’ve hated for two years and gave you trauma you know

- also like everyone is conveniently glossing over the fact that brienne would have rather died than killed jaime on cat’s orders and only agreed to it bc she didnt wanna drag two innocent ppl in it but like sorry i think the above + your crazy liege lady wanting to kill the man you love who is also fulfilling a vow to HER together with you is a mindfuck

- also everyone conveniently glosses over the fact that what fucked jaime for good was people not even asking why he killed aerys and deciding he was a pos not the actual killing

- so like…… let’s say jaime from adwd with all the char development finds out that brienne almost died for him (if someone from the brotherhood doesn’t tell him she screamed his name at night i’ll be surprised) and sees her kill cat in front of him BECAUSE she doesn’t want him to die and only dragged him there to save two innocent people

- that’s a jaime who has OBVIOUSLY done some self reflection in the last two books and actually sounded his age in the povs or at least not like he was stuck at 17

- at this point he either could see brienne going through the aeryslike ordeal that HE went through (and is therefore in a position to help her that NO ONE ELSE HAS bc HE knows how it feels that’s it), he’d know that it was for HIM (doubt he has a line of ppl around who are willing to die for him and go as far as almost getting hanged) and he’d see it happen to someone he considers a true knight and HIS protector (like i can go off on that for a year but nvm it now). he’s this close to figure out he wants her to make a honest man out of him…. and THAT could tip him off, AND he could help her not turn into a bitter cynic the way he did, and they could get closer and he could see that the person who saved his ass and looked out for him when they didnt even like each other actually WENT THROUGH IT for him so much she WENT AGAINST HER VOWS when it was the most important thing in the world to her AND at that point they could figure out together that vows should be taken sparsely and meaningfully AND they could fulfill theirs to cat together in her memory…..

- or he can get pissed off and go back to cersei when like he DIDNT fuck off when everyone he’s known for his entire life failed him and that was never enough to make him say well fuck you i’m not coming back until he learned cers cheated on him

like………… if thematically the first one doesn’t seem to people like the most sensed outcome of everything jaime has done since now and of his arc so far okay but then idk what to tell them because at this point is shooting at the red cross as we say here

and anyway without going into that whole bullshit: at the last adwd chapter when cers and kevan talk and she asks where jaime is and dismisses that he’d ever go with brienne over her…. she says he’s been missing for WEEKS and the riverlands aren’t the wall, if he wanted to go back to cers after brienne’s supposed betrayal he’d have been back in camp already and if he had been dead people would have known at that point so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ if people want to do the math without counting that stuff in their prerogative but like idg the point of denying the obvious at this rate

[honeyhonest]

LIKE ? VIL WOULD NOOOOT GAF ABT BUSH. HED CARE IF YOU WERE CLEANING YOURSELF BRO. Trimming or shaving is purely aesthetics and while he prioritises certain aesthetics on himself I truly don't think he'd EVER care about his partner being shaved or not. Hell if you shave he's probably gonna nitpick the way you did it like baby you have razor bumps did you disinfect did you moisturise what blade did you use we need to do xyz to reduce the risk of ingrowns-

Personal tangent now,

When I was in highschool I shaved once or twice to see what it'd be like. It hurt like HEEEELLLL my hair is curly and thicker there than on my fucking head bro. And it's so ungodly itchy. It was awful. The last time I did I remember looking at myself and going....... eugh.... bc I was like ew. It looks so weird bald. NOT IN A OMG EWWW PUSSY THATS WEIIRD in a. That's not meant to be bald. It looks off-putting. I did not like the way I looked at all. Proud bush haver for years guys but if you wanna shave be careful take your time do NOT rush it. Razor bumps are so ouch.

literally you'd have to be mischaracterizing him to say otherwise. health and confidence > aesthetic always. especially when that aesthetic is unhygienic and painful. he might be picky about himself but he wouldn't be for you. he wouldn't care at all

(I have never. in my whole life done a full shave. because it is #1 much harder than it seems and #2 scary and #3 painful. I find it literally unreal that there are women who shave all the time. and I also agree it looks strange bald on any gender but eh that's just my preference. see previous posts for more of my commentary on shaving safely etc)

[szollibisz]

25 for saf

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

OK this might get me shot, but I'm a dismissive bitch so I don't really care.

The recent outrage at the apparent "high levels of fandom misogyny" is a little silly to me. Like yeah it exists everywhere, because misogyny is everywhere but like. It's genuinely not bad in the saf fandom imo? Just scroll any bigger fandom tag and you'll see some absolutely grave takes about female characters and a lack of will to even engage with them. The saf fandom is. eh. in this regard. It's there, but it never made me as confused or angry as literally any other fandom I've been in.

Obviously most content is gonna be about Curt and Owen because they're the main protagonist and antagonist of the show who are in a canonical gay relationship, which is something we don't see that often in musical theatre, despite it being a very queer field. And obviously if Tatiana was a man there would be more content about her, but I think overall this fandom is a very small offender in the fandom misogyny olympics and complaining about it to the confessions blog isn't gonna solve anything anyway so idk. (Tho that's my opinion on basically everything that goes up on the confessions blog. like. chill. we're playing pretend with musical characters)

Like not gonna lie seeing the starkid fandom it's a way bigger thing there, but for a fandom as small as saf this is practically a non issue. There are like. 200 people here. You should always examine your biases etc etc but at the end of the day, as all fandom shit, this is also: not that deep

As a woman and a lesbian who always wants to see more content with female characters I'd rather there be less but better content instead of just showing a woman into your au or art or fic or whatever just for fandom gold stars, while totally mischaracterizing her. This to me personally is a bigger annoyance than the quantity of the content, and a bigger sign you don't actually gaf about female characters.

Summary: ya'll are not entirely wrong, I just think you guys need to chill