#but eh i get it. this is basically a spin-off game from 20 fucking years ago i'm not gonna fault it for having subpar writing

[gender-euphowrya]

yay finished four swords adventure yayayay

[callunavulgari]

Year-In-Life | 2018

Or that annual New Year’s meme about yours truly.

1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before? Got a big girl job! Got insurance! Made my very own eye doctor appointment! Got an apartment all on my own with my boyfriend! And this all happened since October! Basically I haven’t had time to do more than sleep in like two months!!!!!

But like. I’m making good money now, I can actually do things like go to the freaking doctor when I’m sick and not completely bankrupt myself if I get hit by a truck or something. Oh, and my new job has PTO! How rad is that, I can get paid for taking vacations now? The only downside is my eyes are not taking the staring at a computer screen all day very well and ache ALL the time now. But hey! Things are looking up other than my eyes being stabbed out of my skull?!

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ugh I never remember what resolutions I actually made though! I mean, I know one of them was get a better job, which I did. I started smoking again for like two months and then quit again in November because holy shit I don’t need that in my life. I... briefly lost weight and then gained it all back because I stopped caring.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Couple high school people, I think. One of my best friend’s from middle school had her second kid. Another friend from middle school is expecting a third next year. But nobody particularly close, no. 4. Did anyone close to you die? I don’t think so.

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? Ugh, no countries. Nick got to go to Germany for his job training but I had to stay here because y’know, money, and also, money. Didn’t have the big girl job at the time and he went to Germany the week before we were due to go to North Carolina and I’m sorry, but I can’t freaking afford two weeks off of work. Couldn’t? Eh, still probably can’t unless I work crazy overtime to obtain more PTO. 

That said, I had lots of fun on our annual trip down to North Carolina. Once again I got to read a lot of books in the pool, chill on the beach, and play dumb drinking games with people five years younger than me. We also had an added date night, which I think I’m going to require every year.

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018? Oh hey, I basically got everything that I wanted from last year. More steady job with insurance, apartment, not doing the college thing yet, but I’m going to have to think long and hard about how I want to proceed from here. This job opened up a LOT of opportunities for me, and I may pursue some of those instead of college. I just have to decide if that’s what I want.

Only thing that I didn’t get was, y’know, the ring thing. So here’s to hoping for next year? 

Also, ideally, we’re looking to buy a house sometime in either 2020 or 2021, so here’s to hoping we save up enough to make that happen.

7. What date from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? October 15th is when I started my new job. November 9th was when we moved out. Not many big events this year other than those. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Got new job! Got apartment! Read a metric crapton of books! Bought a nice couch that is all ours!

9. What was your biggest failure? Honestly? I’m not really sure. This year was kind of a good one. I’ve been very patient with Nick’s mom whenever we go on our weekly outing to one of the bars in our hometown and haven’t dropkicked her into the street whenever she gets too drunk. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Since moving out of the old house last month my weird allergy thing has improved wildly. We’re still using the sensitive skin detergent and I’m using very mildly scented soaps, but all in all the itching is so much less. I got really sick and missed Thanksgiving because I got some kind of stomach flu, and I think I had another stomach issue a few months back, but it’s been mostly mild. 11. What was the best thing you bought? I got new glasses at a vastly discounted rate because my vision insurance is apparently really good? We also bought a huge new sectional that is bigger, comfier, and LESS EXPENSIVE than all of the other couches we were looking at. I got Nick a sit/stand desk for Christmas and got upgraded to his old one by proxy. Got new books and a new painting for our living room. We also bought a new TV, because my old one was fucked and since we were moving out we didn’t have Seth’s to watch. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Mine. I was so good this year. 13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? Eh. Nick’s mom drives me nuts, my mom drives me nuts, the roommates aren’t as bad now because we aren’t there, but it got a little spotty near the end there.

14. Where did most of your money go? Mostly things like bills, car payments, groceries, plane ticket to South Carolina to see my family, Christmas presents. While I got a reasonably good big girl job Nick got a reasonably good computer engineering job which means even if he is just a starting salary it’s still about 30k more than I make. Which just, blows my mind to say? Because I’m not making less than 15k a year now?  15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I’m sorry that you have to hear it again, but new job! New apartment! New books and new things and hopefully a new chapter of our life. I’ve been trying to not get too psyched about things just in case the bottom drops out, but for now I’m letting myself enjoy this.

16. What song will always remind you of 2018? Paradise Valley. The Sailor Song. Daddy. Smallest Light. Lots of things off the Stranger Things soundtrack. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier? Yeah, happier. ii. thinner or fatter? Little more, maybe? Again, lost a bunch but gained it back. iii. richer or poorer? Richer. With both of us having good jobs it’s so much easier to save. I dumped a little more than I should have into Christmas presents, but I’m still okay.  18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Write. I’ve been really bad about it, but I’m hoping that this year I’ll find my stride. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Still pretty chill this year. Maybe gotten my head out of my ass and tried to get a good job earlier, but I can’t regret it too much. 20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent Christmas Eve listening to Nick’s mom bitch about things and eating food that kind of turned my stomach. Spent Christmas Day at his mom’s in the morning and then his grandparents’ all afternoon. Only managed to squeeze a tiny amount of time for ourselves this year, but we had breakfast together and opened our presents. Hopefully next year we get Christmas Eve to ourselves again. 21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? So, last year we spent New Year’s cooking curry (him) and pirozki (me) and watching Planet Earth. I’m hoping to do something similar this year, but we might end up at his mom’s place getting trashed since we’re both off the next day. We’ll see. 22. Did you fall in love in 2018? Maybe a little more. 23. Best month for you this year? October? November? August? April-ish? Honestly most of my months this year were pretty okay. Like, I’m so sorry for all of you that had shitty years, but mine was so much better than basically anything from the past goddamn decade.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2018? Didn’t watch too much this year? Watched the second season of Westworld, Voltron, the Sense8 series finale, Killing Eve, Castlevania, The Haunting of Hill House, Bride of the Ancient Magus, Lost In Space... But honestly, most of them were good but not fantastic. I really liked the Sense8 finale and Hill House. Oooh, also, She-Ra. And Little Witch Academia! Those were good ones. 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Eh.

26. What was the best book you read? Spinning Silver was so good, guys. The Goblin Emperor, A Tale For the Time Being, the Queen’s Thief series, the Kingkiller Chronicle, and the Nightrunner series were highlights too. It was a real good year for books, okay. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Paradise Valley. Holy shit that song is the best. 28. What did you want and got? I got a lot of stuff I wanted this year. The job, the apartment, books, games. Nick got me a fucking switch for Christmas and this really pretty teardrop necklace made of green glass that’s just fucking gorgeous. And I got the glasses, the stupid tv, the better couch... ugh, we spent so much money this year, but I mean, it’s kind of about time that we had the money to splurge a little?

29. What did you want but didn’t get? A... ring? I mean, we’ve talked about it and we’ve both been moving steadily in this direction, but it didn’t happen this year. I foolishly made a bet with one of his brother’s friends while I was drunk. He thought that he’d propose before December of 2020, I thought he’d propose before the end of 2019, so now even if I’m right I’m wrong and I know he is going to give me shit about it.

Also. I think I might actively want kids now? Like, not in a nebulous eventually kind of way, but I think I might want to start trying? I don’t know. More on that next year. 30. What was your favorite film of this year? The Greatest Showman was really great. Other than that though, I didn’t watch that many. 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 29 went a lot like 28 and 27. Had lunch with Nick at the Lantern, and then lazed around until we went out to Old Bag of Nails with a few of our friends. It was nice. Nick got me knitting supplies because I mentioned a million years ago that I kind of wanted to learn so I could do something while listening to audiobooks.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hah! A better president and a ring is the only thing that I didn’t get from my wishes last year. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018? Honestly until I started having to dress for an office job my personal fashion concept was PJs all the time except for when I had to go wait tables for a few hours. Now that I have the office job I’ve been wearing lots of sweaters, scarves, and skirts with tall boots when it’s not too cold for them. My bet is next year I’m going to give up and buy scrubs like everybody else in the nursing department. 34. What kept you sane? Reading was really, really great this year. - STILL leaving this answer 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Eh. Amber Heard was recently very pretty on my tumblr dashboard? 36. What political issue stirred you the most? FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 2015678. —– Ayyyyy, this was my response from last year, and apparently also the year before and the one before! Hello past me’s, don’t worry, it’s still getting worse. 37. Who did you miss? Nick, while he was in Germany and when I was in South Carolina. It was dumb. I wanted to smooch his forehead gently. 38. Who was the best new person you met? I have lots of new coworkers, but Bryan is my favorite. He’s pretty cool and I could see myself being good friends with him if he doesn’t fuck off to a different state. 

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: *Sherlock voice* I don’t have friends. ---- I’m just going to leave this here. 

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year:

Took this one in... early March, but it’s technically the earliest photo I took of myself that wasn’t technically from December of 2017. I really miss the dark hair.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year:

This was taken a couple days ago when I got new glasses. I am 100% not naked, I’m wearing a tanktop.

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Uh. I don’t know if I actually tried any new recipes this year? Most things that I cooked were repeat favorites from last year and Nick hasn’t cooked too terribly much either. The new jobs thing has been nice, but also we have SO MUCH LESS TIME.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? I don’t know. There have been a few of them. I had a night that was kind of shitty and empty, and ended up reading that Cornstalk Fiddle fic that I’ve talked about and it turned into one of my favorite memories. The vacation and moving was pretty nice.

44. What are you excited for next year? Still wanna try for that trip that’s just me and Nick, but I’ve got my little brother’s graduation to go to in May and the North Carolina trip in August, which basically wipes out my PTO for the year, but we’ll see. Maybe we can take a weekend trip somewhere nice.

Oh. Also, I’m freaking excited for KINGDOM HEARTS 3?!

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018: Things can get better? Your life isn’t over if you don’t make it to college? Just. Things get better. We’ll go with that one. 46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I’m singin’ in the rain Just singin’ in the rain What a glorious feeling I’m happy again

First Fandom of 2018: January seemed to be an ecclectic mixture of Star Wars, Harry Potter, Captive Prince, The Exorcist, and Teen Wolf before I settled into Stranger Things at the end of the month. Favorite Main Character of 2018: Ahhhh. Fuck, I don’t know. Ryan Dalias or Doug Eiffel, probably. Favorite Villain of 2018: Damien, from the Bright Sessions. He’s not... exactly a big bad, but he certainly isn’t good. Also, Billy Hargrove. Favorite M/F Couple of 2018: I actually read a lot of Jaime/Brienne this year because astolat started writing it and it was just really solidly good. Oh, Miryem and the Staryk Lord was also A++ Favorite F/F Couple of 2018: I did not read or write any, but let me tell you, I felt Isabelle Lovelace and Renee Minkowski on a fucking galactic scale. Favorite M/M Couple of 2018: Mark/Damien and Billy/Steve absolutely dominated all of my other fandoms this year. But also, Ryan/Akmazian hurts my entire heart. Fandom That You Never Expected To Get Into: The Bright Sessions? I did not expect to actually have feelings about these characters. Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Read some Harry Potter and Thor fic sporadically throughout the year. And Pacific Rim 2 hit my like a freight train. Fandom That Inspired The Most Crack: Uh. Stranger Things, I guess? Last Fandom of 2018: I mean, technically I’ve been reading more Harringrove because of the holiday exchange, but I’m still pretty hung up on Wolf 359 and the Bright Sessions. Unfortunately, neither of them really have fic? Favorite Fandom of 2018: I liked all of them, but Stranger Things and The Bright Sessions was so much of my year I’m gonna have to go with those two.

[todaysbiggesthits]

The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2020

Bin: Re-discovering 1990s alt-rock and listening to some previously unknown and/or forgotten jams culminating with discovering that Cherub Rock is an all-time track

Chap: Dancing to Frank Sinatra with my kids on NYE

Bronco: Started jamming with John on Rocksmith.  He pointed out that there was a multiplayer mode, so I ordered another cable and, lo and behold, we were both able to play.  He's starting to learn the bass while I continue to tinker with the guitar.  Pretty awesome to jam out to some Alice in Chains or some Mastodon with my 10-year-old son. Only two more years and he should be able to tour with Korn!

Code: - climbed up to the roof for 4th of july and brought the big set outside to jam at an ear splitting volume. Arden and i danced until we got almost too drunk to descend the ladder. that was major fun. - broke quarantine (and my smoking cessation plan) in late april to ride my bike to the lake and listen to townes van zandt while thinking of bobcat the wheelie king. - listening to shadowplay while closing out each opponent in a summerlong match play tournament. - watching the sun rise through the fog on an october morning while crossing the mississippi river with elliott smith's XO

JD: July: Sitting by the window watching a rainstorm with the Barwick album on the day it came out. October: A big spin of The Big Ship. November: Blasting “House of Jealous Lovers” when they called the election and turning it into a 2.5 hour club mix. November: jj having a violently negative reaction to a song by that Muzz band that came on shuffle and saying it sounded like Jason Mraz.

BC: Haphazard attempt at The Music Game over Zoom in April with last partiers standing - JD, Maddy, and I  "Live Drugs" first listen

Larse: Probably  streaming through YouTube Music's Top Indie 2020 on my Chromecast TV and seeing all of the music videos for the songs on a lazy weekday afternoon whilst I wasn't working over the holidays

Best Shows Seent in 2020

Code: pqc - 10th anniversary show (streamed) silver jews - final show (01/31/2009) a handful of live phish performances while facetiming with jonas, bc and geoff not a single in-person show attended

Nasty:"Dinner  and a Movie" series - Phish Youtube with BC, Code, and Dillon via facetime

JD: 1. Peel Dream Magazine at whatever they call Hi-Fi now on the day before lockdown 2. Real Estate busking on the sidewalk in front of closed record store locations in Manhattan 3. Parkay Boys’ 10th anniversary stream on my couch

Laser: Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson One in Vegas in January…that was the only show even remotely related to music I saw all year

Bronco: Only seent one, and it was Cold War Kids with my wife.  Had a really good time.  It was nice to share some quality music time together, away from the kids for a night... basically the only time of this butthole of a year.

Chap: Ted Lasso

BC: Yeeeahhh right

Confession of 2020

JD: I think I engaged with Aerosmith music videos more than any new albums.

BC: Listening to new music often feels like a chore

Rotty: I played over 75 rounds of golf this year…another ample opportunity to listen to new music and I found myself just listening to Classic Pop/Rock Hits!

Codem: - i didn't even listen to taylor swift's album. - i listened to bob marley - live! for the first time in 20 years while driving my dad's car and i sobbed and sang.

Nasty: I'm a phish fan now?

Bronco: I'm still reading the book I mentioned in last year's Resolution for 2019 Status...such a slow fucking reader and this book is 1000 pages.  Kindle app says I'm 63% of the way through.  Jesus.

Biggest Disappointment of 2020

Nasty: Still Kanye...

NACK: Sufjan Stevens

Code: - no shows with my sweet one - no stones while waiting for the canons - i think i grew out of diet cig - i didn't put my heart into finding cool album art this year. 

Larson: JD's wedding being cancelled (editor’s note: sure hope you mean postponed)

JD: Don’t know if it was my advanced age, the lack of concerts, commuting, and hearing music in bars and restaurants, or the platform economy murdering my attention span and turning them all into yet more ephemeral ‘content,’ but the new albums really didn’t take this year.

Bronco: Kvelertak was okay, they changed lead singers and the new album was fine, but after their last offering that landed quite high on my list, this one was kind of a let down. Also, 2020.

BC: 2020

Most Overrated of 2020

Chap: Fiona

BC: I fully expect Fiona Apple to flood this answer.  But the correct answer is Waxahachee. 

JD: It’s hard to say given the way ‘institutional’ narratives feel mostly guided by risk minimization, but I always keep this seat warm for Run the Jewels.

Bronco: Any and all death metal.  It's all so samey. I have a hard time trying to get in to any of it, so I don't bother...and then it bothers me when it ends up on end of year lists like it's some revelation of sound. It's literally all the same.

Code: podcasts

Bin: The human brain

Laser: my golf game!

Make it Stop 2020 

Nasty: WOP (editor’s note: WAP?)

Larse: Having to talk about Politics

Code: "better off alone" - purity ring

JD: The impossibly grating contempo pop that’s always on the radio at the bodega down the street.

Chap: Covid? Trump? Celeb deaths? SNL? Murder Hornets? Talkin' tv models via email? Not enough exposure to pop culture to really get annoyed by anything.

BC: The raging pandemic. Seriously. 

Biggest TBH Regret of 2020

Laser: giving this the old college try and having just a shit list!

Chap: Only seeing one show in my 2.5 years in NYC

JD: Skipping Nap Eyes opening for Destroyer in February because I’d so obviously be able to catch Nap Eyes headlining a better venue later on.

Codem: i wanted that teenage halloween album to sound better because i loved the album artwork

Bin: Not buying Lilly stock

Bronco: No regrets to be had, couldn't do anything in this godforsaken year.

Detective Murtaugh of 2020

BC: My back giving out upon bending over to change a light bulb

Chap: Trying to give Taylor Swift the ol' college try. 

Larson: This damn pandemic!

Bronco: I'm too old for being stuck in my house all day, every day, listening to the rest of my family non-stop. I need this shit to end. I can't listen to my kids anymore... not all day. It's crushing me.

Code: now that i own a car again, my favorite pastime has become zoning out to a good album on a long drive and seeing if i can reach an arbitrary mpg number for my trip.

JD: I remember browsing the racks at Media Play and getting mad at every magazine that ranked Love and Theft ahead of Is This It? in 2001 and 19 years later I came thisclose to doing it m’self.

Bin: Arizona,  Pennsylvania, and Nevada taking their sweet ass time counting ballots

Resolution for 2020 Status 

Larse: None How It Went: More than likely it was related to being better at this and this year was probably the worst of all time…

Code: i'm making it easier this year.  catch ovlov, washer, EMA and colleen green live this year.  bonus points: see dom's much anticipated return to the stage. How It Went: ain’t caught but a one!

Bronco: Build a vinyl collection. I know I dumped on Brendon for suggesting he press copies of Carpet Affair, but my kid's getting way into music and listening to it on his own (via Alexa in my bedroom which is super fucking annoying), so we're getting him his own record player and I think it's going to be a cool activity to go record store diving for whatever classics we can scrounge up. How It Went: Started the vinyl collection.  Went record store diving with John at the beginning of the year.  He picked up Ride the Lightening.  And I've got an original pressing of Back in Black on its way, didn't make it in time for Christmas.  I decided on purchasing that album, then a day or two later John said, "I think I know what I want my next record to be...Back in Black".  Sad it didn't make it in time, but psyched I was able to predict it.

Chap: Eh I'm cool How It Went: Ironically, reading back it contradicts what it says

Bren: See Phish in 2020 How It Went: Phish tickets purchased and ready

Bin: Send an email about music on the TBH! thread. How It Went:   Ha!  Set the bar low! Finally. Send an email about music? Check.... "can you  believe Trump plays Fortunate Son unironically at campaign events???"

JD: Get to more shows. Take more aimless strolls spinning tunes. How It Went: Turns out I did a lot of sitting around inside this year.

Resolution for 2021

Bronc: Get vaccinated.

BC: Get vaxxed up and return to normalcy 

JD: - Massively reduce my ‘news’ consumption to free up more time to spin tunes and smell the roses. - Get vaxed and get partying.

Code: see a live music concert

Nasty: I'm going to be ambitious. See a show with JD. Coward move to shy away from this in 2020.

Nicky: To start earlier. It takes me longer to get into new stuff. I didn't even like my top 4 until at least late December, but now I feel like they could compete with most years.

Laser: Be better at this! If anything, the pandemic should have allowed me to listen to more music whilst at home working, but it seemed to have the opposite effect…

Most Anticipated of 2021

BC: TWOD

Bronco: Mastodon, and live shows... not sure I even care which ones.

JD: Dry Cleaning, Park Hye Jin, Viagra Boys

Larse: No clue…

Chap: It's way too early!

Bin: Freedom of movement

Code: it seems like there should be a buncha new cool musical ideas to come out of this time indoors. something like this era's disco?  a big celebratory sound that makes us all smile and move.  in other words, the next dom album.

[justjin-ah]

99 Cole Qs?

1. What is your full name?

Cole Bae, AKA 배콜 (Koreans don’t have middle names)

2. Where and when were you born?

October 26th, 2116, I wanna say it was probably in Korea.

3. Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

Go Bae --  Unemployed, married rich. Resident uninterested mother, yet still somehow has time to hate her child’s significant others. Hm. Chin-Hwa Bae(?) Rich guy. Usually equally as uninterested. 

4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

Gochin. She’s a bitch. We don’t get along. It’s like Mom saw the damn future when she named her.

5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

I live with my mom and dad and my sister, in a house that’s way too fucking big for four people, but that’s fine, because we all want the space away from each other anyway.

6. What is your occupation?

Ha, I don’t work. I’m still in school because I’m shit at focusing on it.

7. Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

5′10″, about 140-something?, Korean, dyed-pink hair, brown eyes. Clothes like this or this or this, no tattoos, scars, etc. 

8. To which social class do you belong?

Upper. Halabeoji and Halmeoni are rich as hell, and left a pretty hefty sum of money to Mom’s trust fund, not to mention Dad, so.

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

I don’t know. I have pretty shitty springtime allergies?

10. Are you right- or left-handed?

Right-handed

11. What does your voice sound like?

a bench found a whole af video for this

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

A variety of different curse words, usually. 

13. What do you have in your pockets?

A wallet? A phone? Some keys? 

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

The need to always be in charge is probably an annoying habit to some. 

15. How would you describe your childhood in general?

Lackluster, and mostly spent on my own.

16. What is your earliest memory?

Moving to America, probably.

17. How much schooling have you had?

Too many years.

18. Do/did you enjoy school?

It’s a necessary evil.

19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

From myself, mostly.

20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

I didn’t really have anyone to look up to, no.

21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

I didn’t. I still don’t. It’s everyone for themselves in the Bae household.

22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I always wanted to dance. I think at some point in my life I envisioned being an idol, but I don’t think I could put in the selling of my soul for that.

23. As a child, what were your favorite activities?

Dancing, playing video games in my room to hide from Parents and Gochin, going outside to get away from Parents and Gochin, getting into trouble to bother Parents and Gochin, being an ass to piss off Parents and Gochin. Seeing a pattern?

24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

Sarcastic, asshole, troublemaker kid. Probably a little bully. Maybe. A bit.

25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

I’m still popular. Everyone wanted to be my friend.

26. When and with whom was your first kiss?

Ah, shit. Uh... It was one summer-- I was like, twelve? It was some middle schooler party. Ya know, with spin the bottle, and shit. Which is a big fucking deal when you’re twelve. It was dark. I hardly remember who it was, if she even still lives in this town.

27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

Hahahahahahahahahaha. No. I’m not. It was with Susi Wone, of all the damn people, when we were 14. Early bloomers.  

28. If you aren’t a virgin, would you take your first time back?

Maybe? No? I don’t know. It was just sex. It doesn’t really matter.

29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

Falling in love with Eli.

30. Who has had the most influence on you?

Eli... or Noa.

31. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Managing to have someone as remarkable as Eli Park-Sin picking me to fall in love with.

32. What is your greatest regret?

Doing things that make me unworthy of his trust.

33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

Probably... cheating on someone with their brother? 

34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

There is no ‘record’, persay.

35. When was the time you were the most frightened?

When Eli left my house the morning after we...

36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

I tend to not embarrass easily.

37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

I would break up with Joi the night I meant to, give Eli his ring, and have an honest start with him, because maybe then, he’d trust me.

38. What is your best memory?

This, and also the morning after that.

39. What is your worst memory?

Finding out Eli doesn’t trust me.

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

Somewhere in between.

41. What is your greatest fear?

Screwing up so bad Eli never wants anything to do with me ever again.

42. What are your religious views?

Eh.

43. What are your political views?

Those Lee-Roths aren’t bad, I guess. 

44. What are your views on sex?

Sex is great, and it’s even better when you’re in love with the person. 

45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

I don’t know. Probably not. I don’t know if I could say a circumstance where I think it’d be acceptable. According to the law, it’s unacceptable? That’s what I do know? 

46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

Constantly hurt the people who love them. Go figure. 

47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

I do, because I know who mine is.

48. What do you believe makes a successful life?

Living it the way you want to live it.

49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

Pretty honest, nowadays.

50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?

I’m pretty biased towards Eli Park-Sin.

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

I don’t know that it’s possible for me to say that. Everything in my life has usually been based off of a circumstance. But, if it’s one thing, it’s probably cheat on Eli, whenever I managed to gain his trust, and we end up back together. Because... that’s still a hope.

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

Eli and Noa. 

53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

It depends on the person, yeah. Anybody who I don’t care about a lot gets treated with contempt, usually.

54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Eli, because no one makes me feel the way he does, and he makes me want to be the best person I can be. And Noa, because I feel like I raised him.

55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

Noa, because he’s the type of boyfriend I want to be.

56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

Noa Lee is my best friend, and also the only friend that matters, despite the fact that I have a flurry of people constantly following me around that I call ‘friends’. He’s a punk jackass, but he’s also a cuddly sweetheart, who would kill me if he saw me calling him a cuddly sweetheart. 

57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

... Not currently, no.

58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

Of course. I’ve only mentioned him in half of these questions. I don’t know. When I finally noticed him, and I gave him the time of day-- I liked what I got to know, and then he fell asleep on my shoulder, and I looked down at him, and nothing’s been the same since then.  Also I was kinda a little bit in love with Noa when we first met, but that was like super brief, and no one needs to know about that. Ever.... Ever.

59. What do you look for in a potential lover?

He’s gotta be obsessed with milk. That’s the deal breaker.

60. How close are you to your family?

I am not.

61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

Oh, fuck no. I can’t even take care of a boyfriend right now, let alone a baby. 

62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

Usually I’d say Noa, but he’s got more things to worry about right now than me.

63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

Well... Noa. Because he usually does, even if I don’t ask.

64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

Eli, I’d hope. Noa. Maybe some of those other friends that aren’t important. Probably Elliot.

65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

Probaby... Elliot? I don’t know. The obsession isn’t cute like it is with Eli. 

66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

I’m the fucking king of arguing.

67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

Generally.

68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

I do, usually because people are paying attention to me, and I like that.

69. Do you care what others think of you?

A few people, yeah.

70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

Dancing, camping with Noa, ( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )

71. What is your most treasured possession?

This fucking ring with my initial on it. 

72. What is your favorite color?

Red.

73. What is your favorite food?

Hotteok, bitch.

74. What, if anything, do you like to read?

People when they’re lying.

75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

Dancing, K-Music of most kinds, western music of few varieties, video games of the battle type, ( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ ) etc.

76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

I drink on occasion, but not usually in excess, unless I’m ridiculously pissed off about something.

77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

Well, this past Saturday night was pretty typical... ( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )

78. What makes you laugh?

Eli being clumsy.

79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

Nothing, at this point.

80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )

81. How do you deal with stress?

Usually a lot of yelling.

82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

I’m okay with either. 

83. What are your pet peeves?

Fuckin’ milk.

84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

Wake up, go to school, dance practice, avoid the people I don’t want to see, talk to the people I do want to see, dance practice again, go home, sneak over to a Park-Sin’s place, and it used to be sleep there for the night, but recently it’s been scoot after Eli goes to sleep.

85. What is your greatest strength as a person?

I like to think there’s a lot, but it probably isn’t true.

86. What is your greatest weakness?

Eli Park-Sin. note from the author, it’s also probably Elliot too, Cole.

87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My ~untrustworthiness 

88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

Extroverted as hell.

89. Are you generally organized or messy?

Organized chaos.

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Dancing, grabbing attention, sex?

Gaining truST, not arguing, giving up control.

91. Do you like yourself?

Most of the time, but not much recently.

92. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

Get Eli’s trust. Hopefully that won’t take a damn lifetime, but I’m beginning to wonder.

93. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Hopefully with Eli, for fucks’s sake.

94. If you could choose, how would you want to die?

Quickly? I guess?

95. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

Let me direct you to this, where I pretty much answer that question. 

96. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

That I wasn’t so terribly shitty. At this point, that’s all I can hope for.

97. What three words best describe your personality?

Outgoing, in charge?

98. What three words would others probably use to describe you?

Bossy, argumentative, idiot.

99. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character?

Cole Bae. Cole... Bae... Please.... My son. My boy. Get........ some help.