#but doing anything here hastily is guaranteed to be a shitshow

[unma]

This reply's gonna be long so I'm gonna make it in the form of a reblog @spark-circuit

this is a discord server for a close friend group of mine (we know each other irl and stuff) so I can't just leave since this is my only point of contact with most of these people.

I'm also an admin so I could just ban him, but that's kinda rude and would probably be vetoed by the others. The other active admin (Abyss, good friend of mine, and I've mentioned him a few times on here) also agrees with me but his response after a while has been to just give up on arguing with him (good for him, really, the better choice) and the server owner's never really around for these arguments so he's almost certainly not going to be supportive of banning him. Regardless, I'm almost certain I'd just get told to block or ignore him. Despite it all, he is a friend, and most of us here are against just tossing him out for disagreeing with him. So am I, but I'm conflicted on it.

I probably should just say no tolerance and ban him. Tolerance for intolerance is a horrible idea. But I am deathly terrified of taking such strong and final decisions and it is simply much easier to ignore him. But then seeing him say shit like this would frustrate me to no end. This argument started over an issue I have confronting him over, and one so minor it's basically not worth mentioning here. Hell, I was in the wrong there because I insulted him because I mistook someone else for him. But then the argument continued and...

Honestly, the argument didn't make me angry with him or hate him. Far from it. I've come to understand that getting angry over people being unreasonable just makes it harder to be reasonable yourself. But then he said some things he shouldn't have. I might explain what he said later, but just know it's personal and everyone on the server knows better than to say it. (Think making light of abuse bad and blaming me for my reaction to it).

As I write this, he's apologized for that and the argument has ended, somewhat. I have no interest in keeping it up and would rather just do other things, but idk. Never had a close friend act like this before. My friends and I argue a lot, but we're never so unreasonable with each other.

Frankly, the truth is If I was any more observant I would've seen this coming from a mile away. I continue to expect the best from others and constantly get disappointed. Shame on me for being so optimistic. I just expected better from a friend.

Chat I am so fucking close rn.