#but do appreciate my mat butt drawing

[ghoulbats]

omg can you handwrite 'mat has the most beautiful arse' thank u bestie

anything for Nat <3

[paddockbunny]

Some people are really nuts aren’t they?

People are literally yelling at me telling me I’m wrong, “fucked up”, evil for saying I don’t like kids nor want to be around them. I feel like laying it out for them;

1. I have a condition and have gone through treatment which means it will be difficult for me to get pregnant naturally and IF I go through IVF and by some miracle conceive, my body will 85-90% will reject the pregnancy or I would be an extremely high risk pregnancy. SO, for me, children, babies and kids is VERY much a triggering subject as being told you probably can’t have them when it’s all anyone seems to talk about around you is DISTRESSSSSSSING. Why am I called weird, abnormal, “fucked up” and evil for putting myself first when I have been dumped by friends who don’t understand my condition, who didn’t care when I had surgery, who haven’t checked in on me once in three years but expect me to rush to see their kid, to hold their newborn for them, to want to spend a coffee date in a play park? You can’t pick me up and dump me because you have no one to hang out with on your mat leave. You can’t expect me to be ok always being in children’s zones (like suggesting I meet you at soft play? Like wtf?) and drool over your kids when you couldn’t even send me one text to ask how I am?

2. I simply don’t like babies & children AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. I don’t find myself maternal and don’t coo over a child - I do that over puppies and dogs and again, nothing wrong with that - because I simply think that’s weird (and awkward, for me personally). I don’t think having a boundary where you don’t wish to be around other people’s babies/children is a bad thing. It means you have a good relationship with yourself and you can draw a line. Sure it will butt hurt people but if they are your friends they should understand your stance on child interactions and appreciate you within their lives (I am lucky none of my friends want kids but if they do have them they are so much more emotionally intelligent than most and have no issues with boundries)

3. THE INTERNALISED MISOGYNY ! honestly do I even need to explain this one?! Men are NEVER questioned about not engaging with kids, wanting to be around them, not being paternal, like EVER! So whenever someone tries to put me down on the fact I don’t like kids I’m always wondering if they would ask a man the same thing? There’s been jokes on TV about men calling their kids all sorts of names (little bastard, a little sod etc) and women continue to laugh and call it real. They also don’t have issues with men continuing their lives albeit work, pub, hobbies, having a normal existence while they play the 50’s housewife at home because “that’s a woman’s role” (eye fucking roll). Insinuating another woman is somehow defective for not wanting to be around children IS INTERNALISED MISOGYNY!!!!! It’s insinuating women who can’t have kids are less than because what other purpose is there for women other than being baby machines? Go read the Handmaids Tale and come back to me on that one 😂 And the worst part, if you happen to be polite and try approach the subject by saying; “I’m sorry, I would love to catch up for a coffee but do you mind it just being us as I’m having a difficult time being around your child just now because I’m dealing with x,y, z and I think it would upset/trigger me” you are turned into the human embodiment of satan. If you’ve made it clear you’re struggling and a “friend” doesn’t respect your boundaries why keep them as a friend?

4. NOT EVERYONE LOVES YOUR KIDS AS MUCH AS YOU DO! Omg this! “It’s ok tho because you love them..they’ll be quiet” fuck offffff!!!!! Your toddler will not sit in a cafe for an hour or so without distraction and therefore YOU will be distracted for the entire time. It gives the distinct impression you don’t want to be there and you’re only doing it to fill your day. It’s happened to me before where unexpectedly a friend has shown up with their kid, spoken the whole time about the kid and how hard it is for them…didnt ask me one single question about how I was, not one, not even “how are you doing” and let me tell you, I’ve never seen them since (because I wondered when she would reach out etc and she never has so….her little old housewife life is so clearly more important than mine she needs me to do all the work even though she’s sitting around watching This Morning eating fucking hobnobs) You want to dote and drool over your kids then fine but why can’t you do that at home with your partner or family members? Why does everyone need to know the colour of your kids nappies and that they were violently sick all over themselves? FUCK! Does your filter go straight out of you as soon as you push one out or have I been friends with a complete stranger all these years?

I agree that everyone is at different stages and I’m not “shaming” mothers but simply asking for them to have some of the same compassion toward other women that they beg for themselves. No one is saying motherhood isn’t hard but shit, in comparison to what some others are going through it is fucking NOTHING!

And remember……there are women in Gaza right now pregnant, giving birth and have babies and toddlers too. Spare a thought for them instead of thinking about how hard you have it in your nice 3 bed house with a BMW in the drive way, food in your fridge and running water.

[miracleonice87]

44 With Barzy Please!

I wanted to do a little Mother’s Day piece today, and this request felt like a good fit. this is based on Secret, with reader, Mat and London.

44. sitting on the other’s lap

Waking to a quiet house when Mat had a day off was nothing too out of the ordinary. He often took the baby monitor from your bedside table and tended to London as quietly as he could, trying his best to let you get some rest while he was at home.

Waking to a quiet house that smelled of eggs, bacon, and coffee was a bit more rare, as it was usually all Mat could do to care for little London by himself, much less cook breakfast of any kind.

As you rolled onto your back and inhaled deeply, blinking away the sleep that clouded your vision, a smile slowly stretched across your face.

Mother’s Day. It was your first Mother’s Day.

Your heart fluttered at the realization, and as you pulled yourself from your warm bed and slid into your slippers, you felt overwhelming gratitude that your lifelong dream of being a mother had been realized this year — you recognized and appreciated what a privilege that was. As you padded through the hallway and down the steps, you were filled to the brim with emotions — joy, thankfulness, humility… and mostly just wanting to get your hands on that tiny girl of yours.

You rounded the corner into the kitchen to find Mathew tending to pans on the stove, dressed only in a pair of sweats hung low around his hips, and a baby carrier strapped to his bare chest. London’s feet were kicking up a storm as she babbled happily, Mat speaking to her softly, grinning and pressing the occasional kiss to her soft, dark hair.

“Well, this is officially the sexiest thing I have ever seen,” you spoke, your groggy voice drawing Mat’s attention as he pushed some of his long hair back from his face and turned your way.

He chuckled as you approached and leaned into his side as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

“Happy Mother’s Day, my love,” Mat said, bending his neck to give you a tender kiss. You smiled against his mouth as you heard London squeal after a moment, eliciting a melodic laugh from Mat’s lips.

“Hello, little one,” you said, covering London’s face in light kisses as she giggled. “Are you being good for Dada?”

Mat nodded as you smoothed your thumb across the bottom of London’s foot, covered by her little footie pajamas.

“The best,” he informed you. “She’s been so quiet all morning. She must know it’s a special day for Mama.”

You smiled from ear to ear and kissed Mathew’s jaw.

“You are the sweetest, babe,” you said, shaking your head in awe as you gazed down at the scrambled eggs and bacon on the stove, with toast, coffee, and fruit on the counter nearby.

He kissed your temple and replied, “Anything for you.” You hummed in appreciation. “Now, go sit,” he insisted with a pat to your butt. “This is ready — I’ll bring it over.”

You did as you were told, but not before stealing London away from him for some cuddles of your own, murmuring your usual morning greetings to her as you poured your coffee and Mat’s and sat down at the table. The three of you enjoyed a slow, peaceful meal, you and Mat taking turns feeding London her eggs as she chattered nonstop, thrilled to be part of the conversation. When you finished breakfast, you stood and instinctively reached for Mat’s empty plate, but were halted when he grabbed your wrist.

“No, nice try,” Mat said, smirking. “I got this.”

You put your hands up in surrender and leaned forward to kiss Mat on the cheek.

“If you insist,” you said with a wink. “I’m gonna go put this girl down for her nap.”

Mat nodded, pausing to kiss London’s forehead as he carried the dishes off to the sink, tossing you an enamored smile as you lifted London from her highchair and headed for the nursery.

You changed London into a fresh onesie and cleaned her up from breakfast before cuddling her close, watching as her eyelids fluttered closed beneath long lashes.

“I love you, baby girl,” you whispered, swaying to and fro as she dozed even more deeply against your chest. “And I love being your mom. Thanks for choosing me. Sweet dreams, Lon.”

With one last kiss to her lips, you laid London down in her crib and headed back downstairs, where you found Mat sitting on the couch sniffling, the flesh of his palms rubbing at his eyes. You walked toward him slowly, placing your hand gently on his bicep and wondering what was the matter.

When Mat looked up at you, you could see that his eyes were red.

“You got me cryin’ down here,” he told you with a chuckle, nodding to the baby monitor on the end table.

You smiled at the realization, and you circled your arms around his neck and curled into his lap, pressing a kiss to his neck. He held you close, running his hands up and down your back.

“You’re so sweet with her. I just, I can’t believe I’m the one who gets to raise her with you, to see you with her every day,” Mat said, hugging you tight.

You couldn’t immediately think of a response to his thoughtful sentiment, so you simply squeezed his neck tighter before pulling back to look into his eyes.

“Thanks for makin’ me a mama, Mathew,” you finally said quietly, combing some dark curls behind his ear.

Mat smiled softly, leaned in, and kissed you firmly.

“Thanks for bein’ the best one,” he told you, resting his forehead against yours.

bonus ✨ insta edit (photo source)

[shaalk]

Bored

Type: Oneshot

Characters: Jongin X Reader

Genre: Smut, Boyfriend AU

Warnings: Unprotected sex, Mentions of wanting to get caught while having sex, Cumshot

Status: Completed

Summary: In which Jongin tries his best to liven up a boring and repetitive afternoon.

Words: 1887

Tags: @christiandosworld​​ @writingstuffandmore​

My aunty is a natural born entertainer. By that, I don’t mean the kind that acts or sings for their fans. I'm talking about the type that loves having people over at their place often. 

So, it really isn’t a surprise to me when she plans a barbecue session on a random Sunday afternoon. The guests are always the same. A few relatives, some of her neighbours and my boyfriend.

Jongin is always invited to such gatherings because my family has been extremely attached to him since he and I got together. Despite his exceptionally good looks that might make him come off as haughty and play-boyish sometimes, he is the total opposite. He is down-to-earth, bubbly and kind. If the older relatives need help, he is always there like superman, and if my young cousins or nephews and nieces need someone to play with, he always volunteers. 

Overall, my family finds him a fun person to be around and have been pestering me to get married to him. He is present a lot, so much so that everyone practically considers him family already. If I am at an event, there is a high chance that Jongin is glued to me by my hip. We almost, if not always, come as a set.

The party is underway and since I see all the visitors at least 3 to 4 times a month, I stick by Jongin’s side, just like I do at all the other parties my aunty has organised before. 

While almost all the guests are out in the backyard, eating and chatting animatedly like they haven’t seen each other in ages when they probably just met the week before, Jongin and I, along with a few usual guests, are hanging out in the living room.

We’re watching a re-run of a sappy romance drama that I have already seen before, so I am just leaning against Jongin’s body, eyes unfocused and drooping. My boyfriend has an arm over my shoulder, his fingers mindlessly playing with my hair, practically lulling me to sleep.

I sigh softly causing Jongin to turn around and look at me, his lips almost imprinting themselves on my forehead from how close he is seated to me. 

“Bored?” 

I pout and nod. 

He wrinkles his button nose cutely and smirks at me mischievously. He removes his arm from around my shoulders, gets up from the couch and pulls me up with him. 

The other guests' eyes flickers to us to observe what we are up to and then go back to concentrating on the drama before them almost immediately.

“Where are we going?”

“Just come with me.” 

Jongin drags me up the flight of stairs and into the bathroom at the end of the corridor. Once in, he turns around and busies himself with locking the door while I stand there listlessly. I study his broad back with raised brows because what the heck can we possibly do in the toilet that would alleviate my boredom? 

But I don’t have to ponder for long because when Jongin turns around to face me, his eyes are dark and dilated. I gulp and my tongue darts out to moisten my dry lips, already knowing what is in store for me.

Jongin saunters towards me like a hyena while I inch backwards like a docile prey until the back of my thighs hit the sink counter. The male darts forward and plants both his hands beside my body, caging me.

I grin toothily when Jongin leans into me, making him kiss my bared teeth. The 6 feet tall male starts whining and bouncing on the balls of his feet. I quickly let him have his way to shut him up, lest we both get caught and have people asking us what on earth we are doing in the bathroom together. 

Yes the bathroom is at the end of the corridor but it isn’t soundproof and I just can’t risk it.

Jongin hums into the kiss, glad that I have given in to him. His hands snake their way around my waist to lift me up and plop me onto the counter. 

My legs immediately wrap themselves around his slender waist, pulling him impossibly closer to me. His growing crotch is brushing directly against the wet spot on my panties since I am wearing a short summer dress that has ridden up. 

I moan into the kiss as Jongin rubs himself against my heat. His palms travel up to knead my smooth, bare thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

I pull away from the kiss first, feeling lightheaded from the lack of oxygen in my lungs. Jongin’s lips are red and swollen, mirroring my own. 

"You won't be needing this." 

My boyfriend grins excitedly as he reaches under my dress to pull my thong off. I lift my hips to assist him and then I busy myself with unbuckling his belt and pushing down his jeans and boxers till his mid-thigh, just enough for his erect member to peek out. 

Jongin shoves my underwear in his back pocket and strokes his cock to get it harder and ready. His other hand comes up to run down the length of my wet folds, checking how ready I am for his onslaught. 

He licks his juicy lips in appreciation when he feels my warm liquids coating his digit. He sucks on the damp finger and then nudges my shoulder so that I am leaning back, my weight on my palms and my butt hanging off the counter. 

Jongin grasps my legs and hangs them over the crook of his arms. He glances at me for confirmation and as soon as I nod, he beams like a child who has just gotten candy. 

The male presses the bulbous head of his cock against my slit and inches himself into me slowly, my tight walls immediately hugging onto his girth like they have missed him. 

I throw my head back, hitting the mirror behind me in the process. Jongin draws out only to push back into me immediately. He is careful not to slam into me too hard because any loud noises can attract unwanted attention from the guests downstairs. 

Still, the force of his hips gyrating into mine is enough to rattle all the bottles of soap and lotion on the sink counter I am almost splayed out on. 

Jongin continues thrusting into me leisurely. The only sounds in the bathroom are our heavy panting and the significant squelch of my pussy every time he moves in and out of me. 

There is a small window beside us that overlooks the backyard and if I crane my neck enough, from where we are positioned, I can see the guests mingling around with each other. 

When the laughter noises from outside float up, the magnitude of how quickly and easily we can get discovered hits me. If someone decides to just look up a little, we would get caught and that makes my stomach tighten. The thought of doing something so indecent and risky with Jongin behind closed doors while my family and relatives are only a few feet away turns me on to no extent.

Jongin notices that I am not paying attention to him so he licks the tip of his finger and fondles my bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs. 

My head immediately flies to focus on him, neck almost cracking in the process. I am letting out hurried pants already and if Jongin continues playing with my clit like that, I won’t be able to keep my noises at bay. 

I grab his hand, trying to make him stop his ministrations but he is far too strong for me.

I am letting out soft pants and they just sound too loud in the quiet bathroom so Jongin presses his other hand against my mouth to muffle my noises as he shushes me. 

I close my eyes, just savouring the feeling of being filled to the hilt by the man I love most in the world. He is going slow enough that I can feel every vein and ridge of his penis.

All of a sudden, Jongin gives me a particularly hard thrust. My eyes widen and I perk up immediately. Despite his hand over my mouth, I still feel that I am being too loud. 

So I sit myself up, evidently removing Jongin’s hand that is over my mouth, and encircle my arms around his shoulders, dragging him into my embrace. I shove my face into the crook of his neck and nibble on his shoulder. Jongin’s arm that is still between my legs continues toying with my clit while the free one grabs my ass, piercing fingernails into the soft flesh.

With the change of angle, Jongin is hitting me right at my sweet spot. I wrap my legs around his torso, pressing the heels of my feet into his firm butt, urging him to make me cum already.

The tell-tale sign of my orgasm approaching comes, a hard tug at the pits of my belly. My mouth parts in a soundless scream when my high crashes over me, my lower body quivering on its own accord. Jongin removes his finger from my abused clit, not wanting to overstimulate me because I definitely will scream and blow our cover if he continues that action.

Once I stop gushing over him, Jongin pulls out of me to start pumping his member. I tap my swollen clit softly at the view of my boyfriend jerking himself off in front of me, prolonging my orgasm. 

The male groans lowly when the first spurt of his cum shoots out and lands on my inner thigh. My hand glides lower to spread open my pussy lips so that Jongin can shoot his hot load all over my folds. I use his cream as lubricant to continue playing with my clit until the last wave of pleasure runs through my bones and then I slump back to rest against the mirror. 

Jongin slouches forward, resting his head on my protruding collarbone. This is by far the quickest and quietest session we have ever had but also the most intense at that. We are both heaving, sweat matting our hair to our foreheads.

We take a moment to regulate our breathing and then decide to start cleaning ourselves up. We have been away from the crowd for quite a while and I am worried someone will be suspicious of our disappearance. 

Jongin helps me slip on my thong even though my lower region is still painted with his cum. He then lifts me off the counter and places me back down on my feet. I am all smiles as I comb Jongin’s hair to make him look more presentable while he does the same to mine. 

I am practically glowing from the aftermath of our intense session.

"Still bored?"

I shake my head blissfully. 

Jongin is radiating with glee as well when he leans in to press a kiss on the apple of my cheek. I intertwine my fingers with my boyfriend's before I yank him back downstairs so that we can join my family in the backyard, all the while feeling his sticky cum in between my legs.

A/N: Let me know what you think! Please drop a comment :)

[aaliyah-babe]

The One With George Stephanopolous: Part Two

parings: joey x reader

authors note: i own nothing from friends, all credit goes to their respective owners. feeback is always appreciated!

Feeback is the glue that holds my writing together!

you were all at monica’s apartment and making tiki death punch, when rachel walked in,

“hey rach! how was it with your friends?” monica asked, and then you her and phoebe screamed, but when rachel gave you a death stare you guys stopped,

“okay! how would you like some tiki death punch?”

“what’s that?” rachel asked,

“well, it’s rum and...” rachel cut monica off,

“okay!” she took the jug and a straw and began drinking it,

“we thought since y/n and pheobe were staying over we’d have kind of a slumber party,”

“we got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we got twister..” you trailed off,

the phone began to ring so monica walked over to it,

“oh, oh, and i brought operation, but i lost the tweezers so we can’t operate. but we can prep the guy!” pheebs said excitedly,

“rach, it’s the visa card people,” monica said, holding the phone out to her,

“oh, god, ask them what they want,” she pushed the phone away,

“could you please tell me what this is in reference to?” monica waited for an answer, “yes, hold on.” she covered the phone speaker, “they say there’s been some unusual activity on your account,”

“but i haven’t used my card in weeks!”

“that is the unusual activity. look, they just want to know if your okay,”

“they want to know if i’m okay. okay, they want to know if i’m okay. okay, let’s see... let’s see, the fica guys took all my money. everyone i know is either getting married or getting pregnant or getting promoted and i’m getting coffee, and it’s not even for me! so if that sounds like i’m okay, okay then you can tell them i’m okay, okay?” rachel frantically said,

“uh, rachel has left the building. can you call back?” you assumed they said yes because monica hung up,

“come on, let’s play twister!” rachel reached down and grabbed the mat, throwing it on the ground, it looked like she was on the verge of tears so you hugged her and sat her down on the couch,

“you should feel great about yourself! i mean look rach you’re doing this amazing independent thing!” you said to her,

“y/n what is so amazing? i gave up like everything. and for what?” she asked you,

“you are just like jack!” pheobe said,

“jack from downstairs?”

“no, jack and the beanstalk,” pheobe answered, expecting us to know what jack she was talking about,

“ah, the other jack,” monica said sarcastically,

“yeah, right. see, he gave up something but then he got those magic beans and then he woke up, and there was this big plant outside of his window full of possibilities and stuff. and he lived in a village, you live in the village,”

“okay, but pheebs, pheebs, jack gave up a cow, i gave up an orthodontist. look, i know i didn’t love him.”

“oh you see, jack did love the cow,”

“but, see it was a plan. you know, it was clear, everything was figured out and now everything’s just like....” rachel struggled to find the right word,

“floopy?” pheobe asked,

“yeah...” rachel sighed,

“well, look, you’re not the only one. half the time we don’t know where we’re going,” you reassured her,

“you just got to figure at some point, it’s all going to come together and it’s just gonna be... un-floopy.” monica agreed with you,

“yeah like that’s a word,” pheobe said, which made you and monica give her a ‘you serious’ look.

“okay, but monica, what if it doesn’t come together?” rachel asked you,

monica thought about it for a second, “y/n?”

“well, you uh- you.. pheebs?” you turned to her,

“well, cause you just like... i don’t like this question,” she shook her head,

“okay, see, see you guys- what if we don’t get magic beans? what if all we get are beans?”

you all looked at eachother,

“oh,” you sighed, lying your head on rachel’s lap,

it was about half an hour later and you guys were bummed out. monica was on the couch eating cookie dough, you were lying on rachel, who was lying on the couch, and pheebs was lying on the ground with her hair over her face.

“oh... i’m so sorry, you guys. i didn’t mean to bring you down,” rachel apologised,

“no, you were right- i don’t have a plan,” monica sighed,

“me neither,” you sighed against rachel who looked at you apologetically.

there was a knock at the door and rachel got up to get it, you followed her, “pizza guy!”

you opened the door, “hi.”

“hi, one mushroom, green pepper and onion?” the boy asked, getting the whole order wrong,

“no,”

“no, no.. no, no that’s not what we ordered, we ordered a fat free crust, with extra cheese!” rachel said,

“wait youre not g. stephanopolous?” he asked and you and rachel shook your heads,

“oh, man! my dads gonna kill me!”

“wait! wait! did you say g. stephanopolous?” monica asked,

“yeah. this one goes across the street. i must’ve given him yours, oh! bonehead! bonehead!” he hit himself in the head twice.

“wait, was this a small mediterranean guy, with curiously intelligent good looks?” monica asked,

“yeah. that sounds about right,” the pizza guy answered,

“was he... was he wearing a stunning blue suit?”

“and a- a power tie?” pheobe asked,

“no. pretty much just a towel,”

“oh my god,” you sighed leaning on to monica who groaned,

“so you guys want me to take this back?” he asked, and monica pushed past you and rachel,

“what? are you nuts? we’ve got george stephanopolous’ pizza!” monica took it off him before handing it to pheobe and running to the window, you ran after her.

she grabbed binoculars and looked out her window,

“you see him?” you asked her,

she shook her head, “no, but i see pizza!” she yelled making the other two join you,

“oh i want to see, let me see! let me see!” pheobe rushed,

“hello? who are we spying on?” rachel asked while you and pheobe looked through the binoculars, monica answered,

“you know the white house advisor? clinton’s campaign guy with the great hair, sexy smile... really cute butt?”

“oh, him! the little guy? oh i love him!” she ran over and joined you three with pizza,

“uh, wait. wait, i see a woman,” pheobe sighed, you took the binoculars off her,

“please, tell me it’s his mother,” monica pleaded,

“oh, wow, yeah definitely not his mother,” you sighed,

“oh... no,”

you handed the binoculars back to pheobe, “wait, she’s walking across the floor. she’s walking... she’s walking... she’s going for the pizza,” pheobe pulled the binoculars down from her face before yelling, “hey that’s not for you, bitch!”

your eyes widened as pheobes hand rushed over her mouth, she was shocked at what she had just yelled, you, monica and rachel giggled,

you guys had ended up spying on him by sitting on the balcony, and monica came out with the punch,

“lights still out?” she asked,

“yeah,”

“well, maybe they’re napping,”

“please, they’re having sex,” rachel told her,

“shut up!” you, pheobe and monica yelled at her,

“so, what do you think george is.. like?”

“i think he’s shy,” monica said,

“yeah?” pheobe asked,

“yeah, i think you have to draw him out, and then... when you do, he’s a preppy animal,” you and the girls cheered at that,

you were talking about things that you had done to eachother in the past,

“oh okay, i got one,” monica turned to pheobe, “do you remember that vegetarian pate that i made that you loved so much?” pheobe nodded while you and rachel started cracking up, “well if goose is a vegetable,” monica laughed,

“oh! oh! okay, fine, fine, now i don’t feel so bad about sleeping with jason hurley,” pheobe admitted,

“what?! you slept with jason?” monica exclaimed,

“you’d already broken up,” pheobe argued,

“how long?” rachel asked,

“about an hour,”

“oh that’s nice!” monica exclaimed while you and rachel laughed,

“okay i got one,” you said, rachel leaned forward to listen and the pillow she was leaning on fell off the balcony, “the valentine that tommy rollerson left in your locker was really from me!” you admitted,

“excuse me?” she asked you,

“oh, hello? like he was really going to send you one. she was a big girl,” you said to pheobe,

“oh yeah, well at least big girls don’t pee in their pants in seventh grade,” you laughed at the memory of rachel,

“uh! i was laughing! you made me laugh!” rachel argued.

you, monica and rachel bickered for a little bit before pheobe yelled,

“there he is! there he is!”

“where?!” monica yelled,

“right, where we’ve been looking all night,”

“oh, he’s so cute,” rachel sighed,

“oh, i know,” you said,

“oh, george baby, drop the towel!” monica exclaimed,

“drop the towel, drop the towel,” all you girls started saying, then the towel dropped,

“wow,” you all said,

it was way later and the guys had come home a bit later than you all expected, and you guys had started playing twister, you were stood in front of joey with your feet on yellow and green,

“okay, monica,” ross spun the wheel, “right foot red,”

“we could’ve played monopoly, but no...” she moved her foot to red,

there was a knock at the door and chandler answered it, the man handed him the pillow from earlier and he walked back with it,

“y/n...” ross spun the wheel, “right hand blue,”

you bent down which meant your butt was right next to joey and you knew he was having a good time,

the phone rang and chandler answered it, “hello?.. oh, uh, rachel it’s the visa card people,” he said to her,

“oh okay, will you take my place?” she asked getting up,

“yeah, hello this is rachel,” he said into the phone before she took it off him and chandler joined them over at the game,

“joey, right hand yellow,” joey leant down past you and put his hand on the yellow,

“and chandler, right hand green.” chandler bent across as ross guided him, “to the green, to the green,”

chandler had slipped a little making you all yell and fall over, joey fell right into you,

“god, joey! get off!” you laughed pushing him off,

“woah!” he exclaimed as you pushed him,

“oh god my head, good going chandler,” monica said,

“yeah!” everybody agreed.

let me know if you want to be included in future tag lists!

taglist: @zestygingergirl

[friday-ocean]

Day 13: Fascination

Summary: Bucky is watching his fascinated colleague. Pairing: Bucky & Reader Warnings: Smut (18+ only!) Prompt: Day 13 *Worship*

For @ruckystarnes Kinktober Challenge!

Kinktober Masterlist

Masterlist

Fascination. Yes. He can - and does not want to - better describe the feeling that arises in him when he sees the young agent. Almost as clever as Tony, quick, moving a snake, invisible like a church mouse, funny, selfless, courageous and also so damned, damn sexy... To call this woman your colleague, roommate, partner and maybe even girlfriend makes Bucky's chest swell proudly. Who would have thought that this lost, black and tortured sheep would ever again be accepted, even appreciated, by honourable people? He never would. Not in this or any other life.

Absent-minded Bucky watches as she hits a punching bag. Her wiry figure has already weighed many opponents in the assumption of having a weak little woman in front of her. What she lacks in strength, height or weight, however, she compensates with ice-cold precision and lack of mercy. Some, however, only realized her abilities when bones broke and blood flowed.

"Would you like to share your thoughts with me?" Shocked, Bucky pulls himself out of his moving thoughts. Not realizing that he interrupted the stretching on the floor mat to watch only his colleague. He rises with a heavy throat, wipes his face with his towel hoping to rub the heat away into his cheeks. "Uhh... I think I'll take a slow shower." Hope germinates in Bucky that he hasn't completely outed himself as a tensioner and idiot. Just quickly leave the sports hall, take a cold shower, seek refuge in his room and put this whole situation on record.

"Mind if I accompany you?" Your casual question almost makes Bucky's heart jump out of his chest. "No, of course not," he answers as calmly as possible. Instead of waiting for another reaction, he goes into the changing rooms so quickly that it could almost be called a race.

The ice-cold water jet hits his overstretched muscles hard and slowly he breathes free. In the past weeks he had tried to spend less and less time with her - surprised and frightened by his strange thoughts and body reactions. Turning his shoulders, the hard jet of water hits a particularly hardened muscle area and he moans contentedly. Suddenly the shower curtain is pulled up and the woman who determines all his thoughts stands in front of him. Completely. Naked. A hand in her hip lifted, a cheeky smile plays around her lips. "You already start without me", her eyes sparkle dangerously. Lost all language, Bucky stares at her with her eyes wide open. "I told you I wanted to accompany you." One step and she stands next to Bucky under the jet of water, her side pressed against his. She draws in the air sharply: "My goodness! Do you want to freeze to death? Is that cold! She bends past Bucky and turns the water warmer. "Or do you want me to get hard nipples straight away?" She winking mischievously at Bucky before she turns all the way to the water and closes her eyes relaxed.

Bucky swallows hard, a long time, but he can't restore his voice. Half against the cool shower wall, half pressed against her naked body, he does not manage to grasp a clear thought. His blue eyes try to follow every drop of water that glides from her throat over her collarbone down to her full breasts.

"Are you just a guy staring? I was hoping you knew what to do with your big hands." She had opened one eye and watched Bucky amused, which he embarrassingly didn't even notice. He flinched and caught it together and only managed to see her eyes with difficulty and distress.

"At least your dick seems to know what he and I want..." Her hand jumps forward and embraces his increasingly harder penis. Bucky almost thinks he sees bright stars flashing before his eyes, a frightened sound escapes his throat. Slowly she lets her fist open on his limb and glide down, the warm water a wonderful lubricant.

"Do you like that?" Eagerly nodding, Bucky suppresses a groan. "I also like what I'm holding in my hand," she purrs and strokes down his tail particularly slowly and ponderously. "So hard. So thick." No longer able to control his breathing, Bucky moans out loud. "I want to feel thick, long tail deep inside me," she breathes to Bucky, his even tighter comprehensively. His gaze wanders over her face, thick drops of water dancing in her hair. If this were to be his last day on earth, he would gladly go to the other side.

Giggling, she pushes her wet body closer to Bucky. "Do you like the idea, sweetie?" Her hip is wide, he pulls her so close that his penis is painfully pressed against her hip. Desiringly, he presses his lips onto hers, pushing his tongue into her mouth. The kiss is breathless and wet and hard. A twist and Bucky pushes the woman's much smaller body against the tiles of the shower. She wraps one leg around his hip, directs his tail between her legs.

Forgetting any reason completely, Bucky pushes her lips apart with the tip of his best piece, rubbing himself only fleetingly against her, before he penetrates her with a single, hard push. Lying her arms around his neck, she moans in his ear: "Soooo good." He begins to pump into her - short, hard - letting her feel every millimeter of his tail. "You are so fat. So long! Fuck! Better than any wet dream!"

Also wrapping the other leg around him, Bucky pushes his hands under her butt, lifts them against the wall without pausing in his pushes. Her tight, wet pussy literally wraps him in, created just for his cock. Grunting, Bucky bends his hip, his tip hits this one, especially the dot, and she presses her fingernails into his shoulders. "Keep going! Keep going," she moans, "Fill me up with your thick cock! Use me, Daddy!"

Vibrating, her orgasm approaches. All her nerves glow and Bucky's bumps get longer. Her hips press each other, with each new penetration she slides up the wall, then sinks back to his cock. "Ram your perfect cock into me. Take me! Daddy! Whimpering the orgasm rushes over her. The whole shower around her blurs, only Bucky's pulsating cock can feel it pumping unrestrained into her. "Come inside me! Fill me out with your sperm!

Her vagina cramps even tighter around Bucky's cock and he can't hold back any longer. Hot he squirts into her inside, his cock pressed deep into her. Every muscle in her sings with delight, moaning she presses her face to his neck.

"Thank you... Daddy...", her voice is just a thin, contented whisper.

[lalunaunita]

En-garde, Pret, Allez

Sweet Miraculous community member @miraculouslysam sent me a ko-fi tip for some Kagami and Marinette fencing! Thank you so much, Sam, and I’m sorry for the long wait. I hope this little story makes up for it.  I’ve never tried to write from Kagami’s perspective. I really enjoyed it, and definitely welcome feedback on her.

En-garde, Pret, Allez

“You’re a straight shooter, Kagami. Tell me the truth. How bad is it?”

Kagami relaxed her fencing posture and stood tall, her back straight and arms at ease. “How bad is what?”

Marinette gestured in a broad circle at herself, her foil lolling weakly in her other hand. “All of this.”

Kagami pursed her lips and let her eyes roll critically down Marinette. “Your lame is ill-fitting.”

“I know, I had to borrow one.”

“Don’t relax your wrist like that. You should be ready for a bout at a moment’s notice.”

The foil snapped back up.

“You’re off-balance. Set your feet the way we talked about.”

Marinette shuffled carefully into place. She fumbled around her torso with one hand and shrugged her shoulders, wiggling them under the lame.

“You’re wearing the chest protector, right?” asked Kagami, her brows drawing together.

Marinette’s head wagged up and down quickly, almost dislodging her face guard.

“Good. I know it’s awkward, but getting stabbed in the boob is way worse, I promise you.”

“I promise; I’m definitely wearing it.” Marinette grimaced and made a final wiggle, then straightened up.

Kagami nodded, satisfied, and returned to her stance. They flipped their hoods down to protect their faces.

“En-garde, pret, allez!” she called and the girls began.

Marinette made a clumsy lunge, but she did remember to keep her foil straight. She tried to engage Kagami’s blade, but something was off. Kagami made an easy parry and smiled.

“Good!” she shouted.

“What?” Marinette replied, her voice muffled under the face guard.

“You tried for right-of-way like I taught you. You’re remembering.”

“It really throws me off when you compliment me and kick my butt at the same time,” Marinette grunted as she tried to parry Kagami’s attack. “You’re like… liquid lightning. I’m wet cement.”

Kagami advanced menacingly down the piste and made a new attack. Marinette was no match; she relaxed the moment Kagami’s foil made it past her own and touched her lame.

“I’m done,” Marinette declared, retreating to her edge of the piste.

She removed her fencing mask entirely, shaking out her pigtails as she dropped it on the ground next to the mat.

The fencing bout was over in thirty seconds. Kagami felt a small rush of guilt as Marinette’s pink lower lip pouted out. She flipped up her hood and lifted her chin imperiously.

“Not too bad for a...fourth try. Do you want to go again?”

Marinette sighed gustily and dropped onto a bench at the edge of the fencing mat. She carefully laid the foil to one side.

“I don’t know, Kagami. I’m not sure I’m cut out for this. I love fencing, but maybe I’m just not coordinated enough?” she pondered with a shrug.

“In that case, I’ve vanquished yet another challenger. Go me.” Kagami folded her arms over her chest, fencing foil pointed down, and shook her bangs out of her eyes. She stared down at Marinette, looming.

Marinette’s wide gaze was wounded until she caught the sarcasm in Kagami’s voice. Kagami leaned forward.

“Do you think I was born this good at fencing?”

“Kinda, yeah,” admitted Marinette.

“And I practice all the time simply because it’s the air I breathe. Not to improve or anything. And I’m never nervous or lacking self-confidence.”

Marinette’s expression turned sheepish. “It seems that way, Kagami.”

Kagami dropped gracefully onto the bench next to Marinette. She kicked her long legs out straight like the other girl. She hadn’t meant to beat her - again - and then discourage her. Sometimes her competitive spirit got in the way of her inclinations toward teaching or friendship. She felt a blush rise on her cheeks. If she apologized for being good at fencing, it would only embarrass Marinette further. She turned toward the downcast girl next to her. Marinette’s long lashes perfectly framed her blue eyes as she studied her feet.

“Put another way, how delicious was the first pastry you ever baked?” she asked, nudging Marinette’s shoulder with her own.

A true smile finally emerged and Marinette giggled. “It was terrible!”

Kagami stared at that smile a moment longer than she needed to. She let the moment of undisciplined levity rise between them, just as her first instructor used to when she was a child. Then she straightened her mouth into a flat line and regained her feet. She spun to face Marinette with one eyebrow raised.

“Besides, I need to get you through the basics of foil so you can move on to sabre like Adrien and myself. Otherwise, you won’t be in his instruction class. Fencing is just such a great ice breaker when you don’t know what else to talk about.”

Kagami flipped the fingertips of one hand down toward her collarbone like a teenaged ninny and smirked at the twin blushes blooming on Marinette’s cheeks.

“Wha- that’s not shy - I mean, why I want to fence!” Marinette jumped to her feet, mouth open.

“I believe you. But wouldn’t winning a bout against Adrien be a nice perk?”

“That’s highly unlikely, Kagami. He’s been fencing for years!”

“If you keep telling yourself that, you’ll never even have the chance. Be confident, Marinette.”

At Kagami’s strident encouragement, something shifted in Marinette’s blue eyes and the set of her jaw. She strode to her end of the piste and picked up her helmet. She raised the foil as Kagami had instructed. Her posture was perfect.

“I can do confident. Watch me.” Marinette emphasized her words with the slap of the face guard falling into place.

Kagami felt her smirk widen into a fierce grin. Something shifted within her, too, but for now she had a fencing challenge to answer. She lowered her own mask.

“I see that. Okay, let’s go again. En-garde, pret, allez!”

Huge appreciation to @miraculousbuttercup for LOTS of help with the fencing! In fact, poor Kagami and Marinette would not have even been wearing chest protectors if not for the good intel and advice, so let’s just name Wonder as my co-author since this fic basically wouldn’t exist without her, lol.

[meditativeyoga]

Chest and Shoulder Relief: Yoga for Your “Computer Body”

Do you ever before discover on your own hunched over your key-board, shoulders up around your ears and a plain ache holding in your upper back? Yeah, me too.

That's why this easy breast opening is one of my preferred five-minute yoga exercise breaks, and likewise among my favored ways to relieve right into a practice. The older you are, the extra important it is to put yourself, everyday, into a position that reverses your computer stance. However it's never prematurely to start. If you operate at a computer, you're plenty old enough.

Massage Rounds to the Rescue

Here are some standards for utilizing massage therapy rounds to aid you release shoulder stress and expand your upper body:

Sit with your buttocks at one end of your mat, as well as a wood or thick foam yoga block to the side, within arm's reach, and also according to your shoulders.

Then exist back and also place the massage therapy spheres on either side of your upper back, as near your neck as possible. Raise your pelvis to roll toward your head, so the balls roll an inch or 2 lower.

I like to take a moment here, rolling my top back on the massage therapy rounds. Roll up and down the spinal column, massaging the muscular tissues in the top back.

After a couple of minutes, or whenever you're all set to go on, you can attempt a rather trickier process. To lift and expand your front upper body, you require to have more weight on your shoulder blades. The way to get that weight is to lift your hips and also push into your feet.

Push into your feet to roll the spheres down your back a little bit additional. See to it your shoulders are being dragged far from your ears as you continue to roll toward your head. By the time your shoulders are hing on the floor, the rounds will involve the really lower of your shoulder blades.

With your elbows curved, hands encountering inward and arms near to your sides, press your arms down right into the floor to raise your breast more.

Keep your hips raised, your knees bent, and also your feet hips-distance apart and a little toed in. You will remain in a sustained Setu Bandha Sarvangasana (Bridge Pose).

Now, mentally separate your hamstrings in 2, crosswise, after that from that line, draw your top hamstrings toward your butts. That action will aid you raise your hips higher.

When you're prepared for a much more peaceful position, put the block, on its tool height, under your pelvis. Area the block widthwise under your pelvis so that it is sustaining your entire sacroiliac (SI) joint. (The video listed below shows the block lengthwise, but putting it widthwise is much more encouraging for your SI joint.)

Then unwind, keeping just sufficient of the action in your arms to hold your breast in a wide and open position.

Stay here for as long as you like, appreciating the liberty of breathing right into an open ribcage.

Don' t have massage rounds? You can likewise do this upper body opening over a rolled covering:

Roll a covering into a reasonably thin roll, 4 to 6 inches in size. Ensure to roll it securely to make sure that the roll is strong as well as won't squish down way too much when you push it. Also, make sure to ravel any swellings or folds as you roll it up.

Place the covering crosswise a little over the centerline of the mat.

Lie down, beginning with your neck on the rolled blanket. Roll in reverse, towards your head, maintaining sufficient pressure on your shoulder blades to drag them far from your ears. You'll miss the happiness of all those little massage-ball fingers in your upper back, however you'll get one of the most crucial component-- the upper body opening.

Here's a video that reveals the technique in a little more detail:

More yoga exercise basics and practical method ideas from Eve Johnson - Yoga Exercise Band Magic: Make Use Of a Long Band to Place Your Shoulders in Place.

[redvsvblue]

For @achievementtooth! Merry Christmas! 

(Some SFW, non-shippy FAHC, Ryan-centric.) 

Ryan glares bitterly at the people shooting him sharp, judgmental glances, stuffing his hands further in his jacket and ducking his head to avoid attracting any attention. He doesn’t want the cops on him now.

He must look quite a sight, he thinks – the remnants of face paint still smeared around his hairline and under his eyes, blood dripping steadily from his busted lip and a bruise blossoming over his jaw, aching dully with each step. He’s shoved his hands as deep as he can in his leather jacket but the cold still seeps through him, drying the blood on his chin and breezing up the back of his shirt.

Ryan huffs irritably as he slips into an alley – a shortcut – scanning the dim surroundings as he stomps down the trash-riddled path. His phone buzzes in his jeans – probably one of the others letting the rest know they’re safe. Ryan doesn’t check it, and no more buzzes follow, so it’s not likely to be bad news; it’d be vibrating right out of the pocket if it was.

Ryan supposes he should consider himself fortunate for escaping without the cops – heists go sideways all the time, but at least this time he’s not running. Still, it’s cold and all he wants to do is get home and not worry about the crew for at least a few hours.

A tiny rustling in a back doorway draws his attention. He glances halfly at the darkness pooled under the frame and keeps walking and – and stops dead in his tracks when a tiny, quiet mewl sounds from the doorway. He sighs. Drops his head. Looks over at the black ears poking out of a crumpled newspaper, the green eyes studying him curiously.

He can’t leave it out here.

“Okay,” he sighs, mostly to himself, and turns to slowly crouch in front of the cat, taking out his hands to show he’s harmless.

The cat blinks at him. He extends his fingers and stays very very still, watching as the cat steps out of its newspaper home to carefully sniff his hand. When it butts its head against his knuckles, a quiet chuckle slips out of him and he gently pets its matted fur, eyeing it up for any obvious injuries. There’s no collar. He gently rubs a thumb over its neck – no bump of a microchip, either.

It’s thin, too, black fur matted down over the faintest outline of ribs, and Ryan switches to stroking along its back, eyes drifting up to its tail, bent in the middle at an unnatural angle.

“You’re a stray, aren’t you?” He murmurs. The cat meows and wanders closer, a little unsteady on its feet. Ryan sighs again and carefully lifts the cat up, cradling it in his elbow as it jerks and tries to escape – when it realises what’s happening, it calms down again, burrowing against Ryan’s jacket and trying to bite him when he pets for too long.

“Okay, okay,” he laughs, playfully stroking its ear. He cocks his head at it. “You seem like a Maisie.”

The cat tries to bite him again.

“Not Maisie, then,” Ryan laughs as he continues down the alley, keeping the cat close to him as the wind rips through them. “Polly?”

A hiss.

“Midnight?”

Another hiss.

-- 

Ryan bends down to release the cat into his flat before stepping in and locking the door, toeing off his shoes as Violet wanders curiously away, sniffing his hallway and the guns leaning against the wall.

“No, no, get away from that,” he scolds, gently nudging her hind legs with his socked foot on his way to the kitchen – he glances back to see Violet following him, her eyes intent on his ankles.

Ryan strips off his jacket on the way and hangs it up on a hook – he’ll have to scrub the dirt off it later, but that’s for later. Right now, though, he heads to the cupboard under the sink and pulls out the food bowls he keeps in there – the last one to use them was Edgar, the bulldog he adopted off the streets a few months ago and gave to a nice family just down the road.

Ryan finds the cat food – leftover from Kenny, the previous kitten he sheltered – and pours some out for Violet, fills the water bowl and leaves her to entertain herself while he goes to shower and bandage himself up.

-- 

Later finds Ryan in a staring contest with Violet on the sofa, his bowl of Cheerios forgotten in his hand as he reaches out to pet her, her broken tail flicking against the cushion.

“S’ppose I’m keeping you, then,” he says, breaking the eye contact to swallows down another spoonful of milky Cheerios, gently encouraging Violet to come sit next to him. He’ll have to go to the vet tomorrow – he sighs and shakes his head, stroking a hand down Violet’s back as she curls up.

“Takin’ all my free time, aren’t you?”

-- 

“Yeah, I’m good,” Ryan says, pressing the phone to his ear as Violet winds around his ankles, meowing loudly for the food he hasn’t managed to put down yet because of Geoff.

“You sure? Don’t hide another damn broken rib from me, Ryan - “

“Yeah, I’m fine, Geoff. Just a little beat up.”

“Okay. Because we, uh, need a little help with clean-up, if you can come by tomorrow.”

“Clean-up?” Ryan asks dryly, clumsily resealing the bag of food and glancing down at Violet, who starts up another round of loud meowing.

“Yeah, I – is that a cat I hear?”

“No,” Ryan says immediately, setting down the food bowl and backing away the moment Violet leaves his ankles alone. “I’m – outside.”

“Outside? You’re supposed to be laying low.”

“I am!”

“I better not see any damn news stories about the Vagabond, Haywood. Come by tomorrow, noon.”

“You got it, boss.”

Ryan breathes a sigh of relief when he hangs up, slipping the phone into his pocket and touching the tender skin of his jaw while he watches Violet munch away on her breakfast.

“I’ve got a reputation to keep,” he says to her, narrowing his eyes. “You better not fuck it up.”

Violet’s bandaged tail twitches.

-- 

“What’s that? You’re all cut up,” Gavin says, peering curiously at Ryan’s forearm – Ryan grunts and rolls his sleeve down more, pulling it down to his wrist to cover the scratches. Violet hadn’t appreciated the bath he gave her last night.

“Nothing,” he bites out, shooting Gavin a glare. Gavin shrinks back a little, but he’s lost the petrifying fear he had of Ryan when they first met, and sometimes Ryan misses being able to just scare him away with a look.

“Y’should cover those up,” Gavin says. “Keep ‘em clean an’ all.”

“And you should mind your own business,” Ryan says.

Before Gavin can reply, Geoff claps his hands, staring down the room until they all settle down and look at him, standing at the head of the table.

“Warehouse. We need it gone,” Geoff announces, dramatically flipping the whiteboard over to reveal a poorly drawn stick figure plan. “Gavin, Jeremy, you’re taking the inside.”

He swivels to point to Ryan.

“Michael and you are taking the outside,” he says. “Get the cars and whatever crates they’ve got out back. I want it all in smithereens, you got me?”

“Loud and clear,” Michael says.

-- 

“What if someone was caught because the cops found their fingerprints in the person they killed the night before?” Michael asks. Ryan cuts him a questioning glance.

“Inside?”

“Yeah, like, if they fingered someone and then killed them, could the cops see the fingerprints?”

Ryan frowns at him and Michael shrugs.

“Gavin asked it last night,” he explains. “He wanted your opinion.”

“I think there’s too much – movement of – fluids and whatever for them to stay there,” Jack says over the crackly comms, the chopper blades whirring in his background. “Ew.”

“Yeah,” Ryan agrees, crouch-walking to the next car to wire it up to blow.

“Okay, what if they fingered their ass or something and they didn’t take a shit or anything before they died.”

“Don’t you empty your bowels when you die?”

“Yeah, you do,” Ryan replies calmly.

“Isn’t there a way to do it anyway?” Michael asks. “Some fuckin’ - nerve or something that makes you shit yourself?”

Jack laughs brightly over the comms and Ryan merely blinks at his hands, dumbstruck for a moment.

“Like Geoff does?” Jack chuckles.

“Yeah, but we’re not – pinching his nerves,” Michael says. “He’s just a shit machine.”

“I mean, if you ask him we’re probably pinching his nerves,” Ryan mutters.

“Could we get the shit nerve, though? Where even is that?” Michael asks, planting a bomb on a car window.

“I’m pretty sure it’s in the intenstines, right?” Jack offers.

“Yeah, base of them,” Ryan says. “It’d be messy to get to it, but we could do it. Just have to cut him open first.”

“Jesus, Ryan,” Jack gasps – Ryan shrugs and fixes his mask before taking out another batch of bombs from his bag.

“You asked,” he says simply. “You’d either go in from the front or from the back; it wouldn’t be clean in any way - “

“God, you’re so fuckin’ creepy sometimes,” Michael says.

-- 

“Man, I wish Gavin would hurry the fuck up,” Michael grumbles, popping his collar up to protect himself from the chilly breeze sweeping Los Santos. He glances at Ryan again. “You can go inside, you know.”

Ryan glances up at his building – they’ve walked there from a quick dinner together, and now Michael’s just waiting to be picked up.

“Nah,” he says, rolling his shoulders in an easy shrug. “Someone needs to make sure you won’t kill Gavin.”

Michael chuckles good-naturedly and looks at the street, scanning it for any sign of that dastardly purple Blista.

“Take any longer and I might fuckin’ kill hi - “ Barking interrupts them, abruptly dragging their attention to the dog barking at Ryan, a bulldog pulling on its leash and the kindly lady walking him over to them.

“Ryan!” She says, opening her arms for a hug which Ryan gives with an easy smile and a warm laugh, crouching to pet Edgar as well. Michael gives him a bemused look and eyes the lady up.

“How are you, Ms. Edwards?” Ryan asks, growling playfully back at Edgar before pushing himself up to stand, tugging his jacket closed again.

“Call me Jane, how many times have I told you?” Jane scolds gently, her eyes sparkling with mirth. “I saw your latest stunt on TV, you know,” she continues in a conspiratorial whisper. “That was quite a close one, that was.”

“Ryan?” Michael asks, shooting puzzled looks between them.  

“Uh, this is Jane,” Ryan says, awkwardly gesturing between them. “Jane, this is - “

“Oh, yes, you’re the feisty one!” Jane declares. “Mogar, is it?”

“Michael,” Ryan cuts in. “His name’s Michael.”

“Michael! What a nice name,” Jane says – Michael shoots Ryan a glare and Ryan shakes his head. “Yes, you nearly got caught up in that great big explosion, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Michael says slowly, smiling politely. Edgar barks again and Jane shushes him with a quiet down, Edgar as Ryan leans down to scritch behind his ears.

“So, uh, how do you two know each other?” Michael asks.

“She lives down the hall from me,” Ryan says.

“Yes, and he was sweet enough to give Edgar to me,” Jane says, smiling down at Ryan and Edgar.

“Give him to you? Ryan, I didn’t know you had pets,” Michael teases.

“Oh, no, he took him in as a stray,” Jane corrects. “Got him all healthy again and gave it to me.”

“Oh?” Michael asks, smirking at Ryan.

“He was almost roadkill,” Ryan says in his defence, rising to talk to them at eye-level again.

“Back in my day, he would have just been turned over to the pound,” Jane says, tutting to herself. She catches sight of something and gasps quietly, reaching out to finger a hole in the shoulder Ryan’s jacket.

“Oh, let me sew that up,” she says, running her thumb over the fraying edges with a frown.

“It’s okay - “ Ryan starts to protest, but Jane clicks her tongue and shakes his head.

“I know, I know,” she says. “I was just like you, remember? I know how to fix bullet holes.”

“You really don’t have to - “

“I insist,” she insists. Ryan sighs and nods and glances down at the bulldog nudging against his leg – Edgar’s gotten bigger since he’s last seen him, rounder around the ribs and hips, so far from the starving, half-dead creature Ryan found on the road all those months ago. Jane turns to Michael and lays a bold hand on his arm – Michael jerks but doesn’t shake her off, and Ryan struggles to hold back his smile as Jane starts speaking in a low, secretive voice.

“See, now that I’m – retired from that lifestyle,” she says, patting Michael’s arm, “I’ve got plenty of time for pets and chatting to nice young men on the street.”

Michael goes pink and Ryan stifles a laugh.

“I, uh, I - “ Michael starts, flustered and out of his depth and Ryan’s never been more satisfied to see him so caught off-guard. “Lifestyle?”

“Oh, yes, I used to be a criminal, too,” Jane says, matter-of-factly. “Young and spry. Dealt drugs over the border. Lucrative trade, drugs.” She curls her fingers around Michael’s arm and leans in and Michael’s helpless to it, eyes widening ever-so-slightly.

The squeal of wheels saves him from whatever Jane was going to say next and Michael abruptly breaks apart to see the Blista screeching to a stop by the curb, Gavin grinning and waving at them from behind the wheel.

“Oh, that’s my ride,” Michael says, gently pulling his arm from Jane’s grip to wave back. “I should go. See you tomorrow, Ryan?”

“Yeah,” Ryan agrees, flashing Gavin a little wave as well.

“Well, I’d sure love to see you around more,” Jane says, and taps a finger to her lips. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell any of your secrets.”

“Thanks,” Michael says with a little laugh. “It was – nice meeting you, Jane.”

“And the same to you,” she says. “Now go, off to go stir up some trouble,” she adds, making a little shooing motion with her hands that makes Michael laugh before he jogs to the Blista.

“You’re terrible,” Ryan says, waving the little car off as it speeds away.

“Mhm,” Jane agrees, and opens her palm in front of Ryan. “You want to crack it?”

Ryan looks down to see – a fortune cookie – Michael’s fortune cookie, sitting pretty in her palm, the plastic wrapper crumpled and shiny.

“You little thief,” he chuckles, plucking it from her palm to tear it open.

“Mhm,” Jane agrees again, giving him a sly, mirthful little glance as he cracks the cookie. Edgar barks at them.

-- 

Knocking wakes Ryan up from his accidental nap – Violet startles on his chest and snaps her claws out reflexively and they sink right into his skin. He hisses and nudges her off and she leaps to the floor before scampering away to hide somewhere – probably the kitchen, like last time, or maybe his bedroom. Ryan rubs his eyes and groans, muttering obscenities under his breath as the knocking continues.

It must be his crew. There’s no one else who would knock so persistently at – Ryan checks the clock – at two in the morning.

“Coming!” He shouts irritably, shoving on some shoes and grabbing a gun in case it’s an emergency. He doubts it, though. Emergencies tend to have a way of just busting in somewhere, not knocking and waiting.

It’s Jeremy on the other side, dressed head-to-toe in an uncharacteristic black that makes Ryan frown as he opens the door, leaning against the frame as he crosses his arms.

“What,” he asks flatly. Jeremy, cheerful, optimistic Jeremy, just grins and shoots him a finger gun. Ryan raises an unimpressed eyebrow at it.

“Need to talk to ya,” Jeremy says, gesturing to Ryan’s flat. “Can I come in?”

“No,” Ryan says.

“Well I can’t do it out here,” Jeremy says. “Unless you wanna come with me?”

Ryan considers it for a moment, turning the thought over in his mind, but he needs to change Violet’s bandages in an hour and he has no idea how long Jeremy’s thing’ll take.

“What is it?” He asks.

“It’s important,” Jeremy insists. “Can you just let me in?”

When Ryan doesn’t move, Jeremy does the boldest thing Ryan’s ever seen him do and he steps forward to push Ryan aside – it’s so unexpected that Ryan doesn’t even think to shove him away, and Jeremy walks in like he belongs there, when in fact he’s never even been inside the building before.

“Wow, this is a lot more homey than I would’ve expected,” Jeremy says.

“Get the fuck out!” Ryan exclaims, but a flash of black comes zooming around the corner and he hurriedly slams the door shut to end Violet’s dreams of seeing the outside world. Yet. She needs to at least heal first before Ryan entertains the possibility of her running away and never coming back.

Violet meows angrily at him and starts nipping his ankles, growling at she bites his sock and pulls at it – Ryan gently scolds her and reaches down to nudge her away. Jeremy’s jaw is on the fucking floor. Violet tries to bite his hand and Ryan frowns at her, pushing her a little more forcefully and walking away to lead her down the hallway – she gives up her bitter growling to dash to the sofa instead, plopping down on her favourite cushion and only hissing a little when Ryan sits down beside her.

“Yeah, yeah, you wanna be where the people are,” he sighs.

“You have a cat?!” Jeremy asks, coming over to hesitantly sink down in the armchair.

“It’s temporary,” Ryan snaps, annoyed and disgruntled and goddamnit, all he wanted today was a nap.

“What, is – I can’t believe it!”

“Shut up. What did you want.”

“I – well, it was about Gavin’s birthday.”

“Really?” Ryan growls, glaring at Jeremy. “You came over to talk about that?!”

“You’re not busy!” Jeremy protests. “It’s just you and – and - “

“Violet,” Ryan says, stroking Violet between the ears. He sighs and tips his head back against the sofa. “Don’t tell anyone about her.”

“What, that big bad Vagabond actually has a pet cat?”

“She’s not my pet,” Ryan says. “She – I found her. I’m going to give her up when I find a good place for her.”

“...well, uh, that’s – actually what I came to talk to you about,” Jeremy says quietly. Ryan’s head jerks up to look at him and Jeremy fiddles with his fingers, glancing at the floor, the wall, and Ryan in turn.

“Gavin’s birthday,” Ryan prompts.

“Yeah. Yeah, his – birthday. He’s always wanted a cat over here. He, uh, he used to have one back in England and I thought – you’re the best at keeping secrets, I thought you could help me – get one?”

“You trust Gavin with cats but not your car?” Ryan asks incredulously.

“That’s different! He knows the limits of a car!”

“Pushes them a lot.”

“Yeah, but – I’ve seen him with Lindsay’s cats! He’s fine with them!”

Ryan gently pets a knuckle under Violet’s chin and looks her in the eye. Her ear twitches and Ryan shifts to stroke her flank, listening to her purr under his palm.  

“Does he want any particular cat?” He asks, glancing at Jeremy.

“Not that I know of.”

Ryan studies Violet again. Pets her soft little ear.

“He can have Violet,” he says.

“I – I didn’t mean – I meant adopting a cat from a shelter or something, it doesn’t have to be - “

“I need to give her away anyway,” Ryan says. “At least if Gavin has her, I can keep an eye on her.”

“I – oh. That’s – That’s really sweet of you.”

“Don’t tell him she’s from me,” Ryan warns, shooting Jeremy a glare.

“I won’t,” Jeremy promises.

“I mean it,” Ryan adds. “I’ll key your goddamn car if I have to.”

“I won’t! I promise!” Jeremy exclaims.

“Hm. Okay,” Ryan concedes, turning back to Violet. She meows at him and Ryan hears Jeremy’s soft huff of laughter from behind him. He glances at Jeremy. Swallows a little nervously before gently lifting Violet up at setting her down on the floor, pointed towards Jeremy.

“Go on,” he croons, nudging her towards him.

“Can I - ?” Jeremy starts, looking up at Ryan. Ryan nods and Jeremy leans down to pat his shin and lure her over – his entire face lights up when Violet pads towards him, nosing curiously at his arm and sniffing his hand before letting him pet her.

“Mind the tail,” Ryan offers. Jeremy nods and pets carefully down her back and she arches at the attention, purring happily when Jeremy settles her on his lap.

“How’d you choose the name?” Jeremy asks, laughing when Violet rolls over. 

“Listed some until she stopped biting me for ‘em.” 

[pcktsprgrl]

Coronation Of A Flame part 4 NSFW

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Hana X MC

Authors Notes: Here’s chapter four of Coronation Of A Flame. Enjoy ~PSG

Possible trigger warning: Ok so there’s fighting/training in this chapter. Drake will be ‘attacking’ the MC and showing her counter attacks. I’m not sure if this counts as a trigger or not? But its pretty much how training works.

Also there's an NSFW scene so if that bothers you..

Rating: mature for NSFW

Publish Date: 2/9/18

Chap 4: A Bit of Bad News

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.

"I think I've found something!" Hana says excitedly startling all of you and you drop your book. "Please tell me its more then the queen loved a girl?" Drake says with a sigh and Hana blushes. You scowl then turn back to Hana your features softening. "Apparently, Dominic Hunter grew up in the castle with Kenna. He never knew his heritage or about his powers until.." Hana pauses skimming down a few paragraphs. "Until Kenna and the nobles were attacked while attempting to make peace between the kingdoms." she smiles proudly. You start to speak but get interrupted as Hana continues. "Ooo so he not only created fire, but he could also withstand it, and put fires out by drawing the flames into his body." "And the dragons? Don't forget the dragons!" Maxwell says excitedly. "You're not cruising past that anytime soon are you?" you say with a fond glance at Maxwell. He just grins sheepishly at you. After a few more hours of reading you stretch and check the clock. "I think I'm going to the gym awhile. Drake?" "Thought you'd never ask!" Drake says with a grin. You smile and kiss the top of Hana's head as you walk out. ~~~~~~~ "AGAIN!" Drake's voice bellows from a few feet behind you. You blink up at the fluorescent lights and roll over standing gingerly. Drake is scowling at you. You furrow your eyebrows and charge at Drake. He deftly dodges your attack sweeping your legs from under you. "umph" you land hard on the mats knocking the wind from your lungs. Tears of frustration building behind your eyes. Your fists slam into the mat, you stand brows furrowed. You lunge at Drake padded knife in hand he dodges then attempts another leg sweep. You jump over his leg and bring the knife down as you land. he rolls quickly backwards to avoid the thrust of your knife. Jumping up behind you just in time to catch your elbow in his chest and you grasping his arm and throwing him over your hip. He hits the mat with a grunt and taps your right knee to signal his submission from the arm bar you currently have him in. You both lay there panting. "Nice one, Abel." Drake says as he stands and offers you his hand. "I have a good teacher." you smile at him. He squeezes your shoulder gently. "More tomorrow?" he asks. "If you're not afraid of getting your butt kicked." you smirk. "In your dreams, Abel." he smirks. You both look around and catch wary looks from the other training guards. Drake leads you out of the training area. "They're never going to trust me." you say with a sigh once you know you're far enough away from the training room. "Their loss." Drake says then clears his throat. "We should think of finding a different place to train though." he adds thoughtfully.

"You're right. It'd be a lot better!" He smiles at you. "Get some rest." he says "and hit the showers." he adds scrunching up his nose before turning to walk away. You scoff at him but spin to head to your room. ~~~~ You look out onto the lake that glistens like diamonds in the moonlight your mind running with a thousand thoughts as your body aches. You stare at the small fire you built and try to bend it to your will but sigh in exasperation releasing the breath you had been holding and dropping your head. "I thought I might find you here," a soft voice comes from behind you. You smile softly in recognition. "Hmm" you murmur softly barely glancing back as Hana settles behind you placing her hands gently on your shoulders. "How was today?" she asks in a whisper slowly starting to massage your shoulders as your gaze lifts to the heavens. "Tiring" you respond with a sigh adding "the royal guards in training either don't trust me or look on me with disgust . Drake and I talked about training elsewhere." you're silent and thoughtful. Hana begins slowly massaging down your shoulder blades and you groan in appreciation. "Maybe that's a good idea." she muses thoughtfully. Your only response is another groan as her fingers kneed and work their way down your back. "Between the attempted assassination and my new powers or, whatever." you say with an exasperated sigh, "I just can't seem to relax." "I think I know just the thing to get your mind off this." Hana says in delight. "Really?" you perk up. "What did you have in mind?" you try playfully while turning to her with a smirk. She's wearing jeans and one of your oversized hoodies and my god you have never seen her look so beautiful. Your smirk falls as you fix your gaze back on the lake. Hana laughs lightly then her fingers stop their movements and run lightly down your back, "I was thinking of something else but for now.." she leans closer wrapping her arms around you and you can feel her warm breath on your neck, "lets try it your way." she whispers and kisses your neck and you shudder. She sits behind you and pulls you backwards gently. You lean your head on her shoulder looking deep in her eyes before kissing her first gently then a bit more urgently. Her hands lay on your stomach as she deepens the kiss and you moan lowly. Slowly her hands work under your shirt and her fingers dip slowly under your sweatpants. Your hand flies up and tangles in her hair as your tongues dance together. You can feel the heat from her pressed into you as her legs rest on either side of yours. Her hand slips further down your sweats and you raise your hips at her. Your other hand sliding up her arm. She breaks the kiss and your groan at the loss. "H-hana." you gasp out. She runs her lips over your neck as her fingers make their way to your center. You push your hips forward again. She smirks and bites your pulse point as one of her fingers enters you. You cry out gripping at the back of her neck. She bites where your neck and shoulder meet. Your free hand grabs the turf and rips handfuls of grass out. Moments later another finger enters you moving and wiggling inside of you. "HANA! G- DON'T STOP!!" her movements match your own frantic thrusts and your body begins to shake. She slows her movements and holds you while your breath comes ragged. She kisses your neck softly. "I love you." she whispers in your ear and you almost cry. You turn in her arms and stare at her for a moment in awe. Tracing the features of her face with your fingertips. You lean in and slowly start kissing her pressing your body against hers until you're laying on top of her. You lean up on your elbows regarding her with the utmost reverence. ~~~~ The next morning you're woke up by the sun in your eyes and you groan rolling over to see Hana still fast asleep beside you. Slowly you look around your room noticing the chaos you two left in your wake. You smile then frown slightly noticing an envelope under your door. You slide out of bed retrieving it. "Riley, Meet me in the archives, at the library. Very interesting news! Maxwell" You sigh, running a hand over your face. (Everything has been very interesting since the night of the ball.) You get dressed in a modest baby blue dress, jot a quick note to Hana the quietly slip out your door. Entering the library you search for Maxwell who is hunched over a stack of books. "Hey." you start to say something else when suddenly you are grabbed from behind and put in a choke hold. You struggle but to no avail. "Always be alert." Drake warns. You scowl and slap his elbow to indicate you give up. He releases you and you turn and scowl at him. He starts to say something but takes in your outfit. Whistling "Well guess you didn't ditch all your dresses for sweats."

Your face softens and you chuckle. "After nearly giving Bertrand heart attacks by looking so undignified" you say with an eye roll "I thought I'd dress a bit less American" you use air quotes and smirk. Drake laughs "This won't work in the gym, Abel." "Psssh, the way you fight?" you laugh and push him playfully. Bertrand clears his throat and you both look at him sheepishly.

“Oh uh Hi B-Bertrand..” you stammer. “I didn't realize you were back.”

“Obviously not..” Bertrand scowls. "So this is everything we could find on Fydoria and their people." you stare blankly at all the books. "Including what Olivia could find in Lythikos." you blink. "Olivia helped?" "Of course." Maxwell says incredulously. "Why wouldn't she?" "Well she was pretty wigged the night of the ball." you state plainly only to hear a heel tapping on the marble. You jump at the sound. "Tsk tsk." Olivia clicks her tongue. "I do not get wigged." Olivia says as she crosses her legs at the ankles then studies you intently.

“Anyway..” Maxwell says breaking through the silence as you and Olivia glare at each other.

“Apparently, Dom or Dominic was raised as a servant but was actually of Noble blood. Something he didn't find out until much later..” You brighten and start to speak but are cut off as Olivia speaks. “But there were many fire people according to legend, so that doesn't mean you are of noble decent.” she scoffs at you.

You glance down at the book in your hands as Hana walks sheepishly to the table sinking quietly into a chair beside you. Olivia appraises her slightly, eye brow raised as she sips her tea but says nothing as Hana takes a book from the table and begins reading. You groan and let your head fall slowly forward. It makes a soft thud against the open book currently in front of you. Hana stands behind you silently rubbing your neck. You groan again. Almost entirely lost in Hana's touch. "Ah-ha!" Maxwell yells in triumph. You jump from your seat nearly knocking heads with Hana. "I found this ancient map. It looks like it just matches up with our current map." you rush over excitedly as Maxwell's face pales.

You stare over his soldier. "Oh..." your face falls. "Guess we're going back to Fydelia." Drake shrugs with his hands in his pockets.

[bethadastra]

Hi! This is your gift giver for holiday cheer! I've been poking around your blog (I love it) and I was wondering if you could give me a bit more information about your Shepard & Garrus and your Ryder & Kandros pairings. What does one partner like the best about the other? What drives them crazy about each other (in good ways and in bad)? What are their favourite colours? Looking ahead 5 years in their lives, where would they be? When/how did they fall in love? Details and rambles are great! Thx!

Oh man… you better fasten your seatbelt, because I’m about to hit the FTL button on this. I think I should give some in-depth background on myLiz/Garrus headcanon, because I have a ton of content in my head for them, and a lot of important relationship developmenthappens after the Reaper war… As for Sara Ryder & Tiran Kandros, their section is much shorter, and at the bottom of the post.  *Be warned,Liz got loaded with a ton of angst because I love watching my beloved OCsuffer.

Liz is an Earthborn, Ruthless, Renegon soldier thateventually chose the Destroy ending (and lived to tell the tale, though at agreat cost).

Liz falls head over heels for Garrus during ME2, becausetreats her as an equal, but she doesn’t dare hint at her feelings until rightbefore Garrus returns to Palaven and she turns herself in to the Alliance. Garrushas feelings too, but he denies it for most of the suicide mission, and chalksit up to a twisted sense of hero worship. They have an emotional conversation abouthow Liz needs to “pay her dues” and Garrus blurts out that she should considerbeing selfish for once in her life (though by this time, its too late for herto turn back, and she can’t say or do anything to tell Garrus that shereciprocates his feelings). It isn’t until they “review protocol on reunions”in ME3 that they fully confirm that they are in love with each other, and theyare pretty inseparable at that point. They don’t talk about being together orhave PDA around others, but they don’t go to extreme lengths to hide theirrelationship either.

Garrus and Liz sneak away and elope at the end of theCitadel party in ME3, but because everyone else was drunk and galactic law doesn’trequire witnesses, nobody on the Normandy besides the happy couple knows, andthe end of the Reaper war happens so quickly after that they never have achance to tell anyone. Garrus doesn’t even tell anyone after the final battle,out of anger and grief. I’d like to note that they were both wearing theirfatigues when they signed their certificate, because Liz is just not adress-wearing character.

After choosing Destroy, Liz is severely injured, and as aresult, has retrograde amnesia for many months, and loses her left arm. Whenshe wakes up, she initially believes that she is still 17 years old andescaping the Reds to join the Alliance, and is very confused by the state ofthe universe and why a hulking, scarred turian is at her bedside. Garrus staysby her side the entire time during her many months of recovery, and neverbrings up the fact that they had a relationship until she begins having dreamsof moments they shared together mixed with more traumatizing memories. Heeventually reveals everything and reproposes, and they elope again (no fancy white dress or weddingceremony for this gal, nope!), and he may or may not get a good fist to theface when he reveals the truth because Liz is still a renegade deep down. Solong story short, looking ahead 5 years, Garrus and Liz will relearn their entire relationship, and work together to heal their physical and psychological wounds.

Now, on to happier things!! Liz loves seeing Garrus when heis nervous and behaves in a very tender fashion, because he came across assomeone very brash and confident when they first met, and no matter how oftenthey butt heads, he is always very gentle and respectful of her wishes. Garrus,on the other hand, loves her for how selfless she is. Her unwavering sense ofduty might come off as cold to others, but it is admirable to him, and Garruswishes that he could say “What else do you need me to do?” as genuinely as shedoes.

Things that drive them crazy….. Hm. Both Liz and Garrus arestubborn to a fault, so that drives them both nuts. I think for Garrus, heloves Shepard’s hands. He loves watching her alien fingers give signs on thebattlefield, how quickly she can clean and assemble a rifle, and all the thingsshe does when they… you get the idea. Garrus hates how she rarely goes intodetail about why she makes many of the choices that she does. He knows he needsto trust her, but it just about kills him when she orders him to staybehind.  It drives Shepard crazy whenGarrus teases her for her itty bitty 5’3” height (and he does it solely becausehe knows it’ll ruffle her feathers in a good way). Also, there is somethingabout all of Garrus’ terrible dad jokes that Liz just loves. Like, she doesn’tlaugh easily but he somehow knows how to get past her guard. When Garrus learnsthis, he makes an extra effort to make her laugh in front of other Alliance officialsjust to see the look of shock on their faces.

As for colors, Liz loves a deep, dark green that I guesswould sit somewhere between olive and pine. Her armor is that color. Garrusused to stick to C-Sec blue, but after the Reaper war, he wore lots ofsilver/grey because Liz called him a “silver spirit” while still affected byamnesia.

Whew! Hope that all hasn’t scared you off yet.

As for Sara Ryder & Kandros, their story is still verymuch a work in progress. For how they met and a taste of their personalities,you can check out my AO3 (under the same url) for the story On And Off The Mat.Sara doesn’t have the strongest connection with her family, and finds a lot ofsolace in Tiran. This results in a ton of quickies that mostly occur afterstressful missions. Things are just physical between them up until Ryder triesto go after Meridian, and gets shot down by the administration. Sara’s a bit ofa hothead, and struggles with communicating her emotions, so it comes down tothis public argument turning into a confession of her feelings with Tiran inprivate. Tiran becomes aware of his own feelings when the Charlatan is revealed and battles Sloane & Ryder. He becomes very protective of her, but the L word isn’t brought up until right after the battle on Meridian, and he is helping her with her wounds.

In both a good and bad way, Tiran’s ability to call Sara outon her bullshit drives her crazy. She definitely appreciates the fact thatTiran can see right through her. She doesn’t have to put on an act around him,and he often knows what she needs before she knows it herself. Sara hates howTiran’s obedience to the Initiative allows Tann to walk all over him. Tiran, onthe other hand, has been a really hard nut for me to crack in developing his character.I think Sara drives him crazy in the way that theres just so much about herthat throws him for a loop. Like, it’s always a surprise when she shows up froma mission, and she asks questions that surprise and baffle him. I think he alsohas some self-confidence issues, so anytime Sara puts her trust in him or callshim out on his own bullshit, he questions himself.

Sara loves the turquoise color of the Initiative logo and noit has nothing to do with the fact that Tiran’s eyes are the same color. Tiranlikes sunset orange (ie the lights on his armor) and for some pretty obviousreasons, he becomes particular to chestnut brown.

I wish I could say for sure where I want them tobe 5 years down the road, but I’m a sucker for building on canon lore, andwould be shamefully butthurt if a sequel game came out and Tiran still didn’tget to be a squadmate. I do like imagining that Tiran gets a chance to settlehis differences with Sloane, Sara is able to formally retire from the role ofPathfinder, and that the two of them either make up their own little APEX team,or go off and do freelance work on Kadara or Eladaan. No matter what theirfuture holds, it will be full of sassy comments and live up to a solidExplicit rating.

I’ll be posting more (mostly drawings) of my Liz & Sara, so hopefully all of this helps! If this massive text monstrosity didn’t fully satisfy you, feel free to ask me more questions!

[gradientdescent-does-it-all]

Crafting Journal - Wrist Restraints, Pattern Drafting

A simple wrist cuff seems like a good way to experiment with the basic techniques related to belts on a miniature scale. 8″ x 2″ is a whole lot easier (and cheaper!) to play around with than a 30″ belt. But even test projects should be done with care and planning, so here’s how I went about creating this pattern.

Note to my mother: you may think of this project as a “bracelet” if it’s easier for you to appreciate it as such.

Step 1: Firsthand design research

Having a physical instance of the item I want to make was helpful in figuring out how everything was supposed to fit together. This example from my *ahem* personal collection was a good starting point.

Step 2: Sketch

Next up is a small sketch illustrating all the features I want, plus measurements and notes on materials. At this point I make no attempt to draw it to scale; I just want to capture the basic appearance, design features, etc. In this case, a 2″ band, 3/4″ strap for the buckle, and a furry lining. Nice and simple.

Step 3: Test sew

This step helps me validate that my construction plan makes sense, and also hone in on the exact length measurements I need for everything. In this case you can see I forgot to allow extra length for the buckle in my first pattern draft, so definitely worth the 15 minutes it took to stitch up a little test.

Step 4: Draft pattern to scale

After experimenting with the test sew, I added extra length to the thin strap to account for the buckle, plus a bit more to both straps to account for the thickness of my leather. Next I drafted a paper pattern to scale, including marks for rivet holes, hardware, etc. This wrist cuff is just 2 perfectly straight straps and so I won’t need to use the pattern to cut it out (just a ruler and my cutting mat will do the trick), but it will be helpful as a template for marking where to punch the rivet holes.

Cats can occur at any stage of this process. They will absolutely locate the most expensive piece of material on the table at any given point in time and then rub their butts up on it. CATS.

Step 5: Make a construction plan

Finally, I found it helpful to write out my step-by-step construction plan. Too much detail? Maybe. But it’s easy to forget steps, especially as a beginner, or accidentally mix up non-interchangeable steps of the process, of which there are several. So I wrote it all down... in pencil... with plenty of extra room in the margins to comment on my inevitable mistakes later.

And now that I have planned this thing to death, I’m finally ready to get hands on with the leather!

[violetsystems]

#personal

Somehow my Instagram started working again.  It was dark for the entire semester since February.  It was only until a day after graduation where I regained functionality of both accounts.  No emails, no reasoning, and no real warning or explanation.  I wasn’t able to follow back, comment or link to things in chat for all that time.  So I stopped posting to it about a month ago.  During that time nobody really interacted except people I didn’t know.  Mostly fashion and coffee businesses some of which were places I’ve visited in New York.  One of those places I discovered had a small shop in a shared work space near my work.  Since I couldn’t follow back or interact I decided to go there in person.  It felt like a good excuse to develop connections to places I could visit in New York comfortably by myself.  They have a shop in the World Trade Center and one in Queens.  I ordered a bag of coffee beans from them which was one of the packages that was stolen from my porch.  I’m always telling myself these days never to draw conclusions to any of these things.  Even if everything after all this time seems highly suspect.  I have the disadvantage of being too smart for my own good.  I also force myself to be an optimist more often than I should.  Returning to Instagram with a few innocuous posts felt ok at first.  I posted my run from the other day.  Some Chinese Finstas responded.  I posted a photo of a book on the color pink at the coffee shop and checked in.  I bought a new yoga mat on clearance at target.  It has a sparse pink font with midnight blue foam.  I posted that.  I made an informational post of something related to work.   A 3D model of a pokemon made on a makerbot in our lab.  The interactions were small at best.  It felt more wrong than right.  I have a habit of being too extreme about things.  Quitting and walking away from bullshit and never telling anyone.  Nobody ever asks.  Nobody ever really interacts in a genuine way where I think it’s worth my time.  Mostly because people have wasted so much of mine over the years.  Tumblr has been way different for reasons only we as users have come to understand.  I don’t even understand my relationships on here fully.  But they make more sense than trying to revive my interest in a being openly spied on in public.  Which happens without having to use Instagram sadly.  These times are wacky what can I say?  For all the concern over my affairs nobody really knows what I do or how I feel about it other than here.  Nobody.  Care.  Me.

What has “the public” actually done with me and my data over all these years?  I hang up on enough surveys to know nobody really cares about my opinion.  Nothing ever gets fixed.  I also don’t really stick around to listen to excuses.  I’ve shut done entire segments of my life over the last two years out of futility.  Instagram was no different.  When I disappear I ask myself what audience is still there.  I know perfectly well how it feels to be completely abandoned.  Everybody on here knows I’ve been more or less completely alone in all my problems.  We’ve all come to discover that the problems aren’t actually my own.  I butt heads with society as much as anyone else maybe.  I cover a lot of ground.  This morning I have to bus back out to the suburbs to mow the lawn and bring my mom sour patch kids in the care facility.  It’s like an hour and a half each way.  People will watch and follow.  You’ll tell yourself it’s a small city and yet you remember how small Seoul or Tokyo is.  How you’d run into people magically around corners.  How serendipitous it all is!  People forget I’ve travelled to Korea around fourteen times by myself.  People never ask.  People think I’m stuck up for even mentioning it.  Or shut me down before I could even explain.  People will explain it for me.  But people will never actually listen.  They’ll never have the guts to approach me directly about any of this.  And this is a confidence I’ve learned through a hellish experience of trying to live by my own dreams and ruleset.  I tell myself I should have been more.  And then I realize what I already am.  Successful, free for the most part and pointed in a direction I feel comfortable with.  I don’t ask for advice.  I haven’t for a long time.  I do still reach out to people.  I’m cautious about what I share.  A friend told me they knew people out there appreciated both the little and big things I do.  That people notice I do this in the most subdued and polite way possible.  They said I just put one foot in front of the other.  I go out and run without much effort.  It’s something I’ve always loved to do.  It’s been my therapy for longer than anyone could imagine through all of this.  And it’s been just me working through my feelings about all of this.  I share it here with all of you.  Some of you I know.  All of you I respect in some way or another.  And this kind of interaction has been much more safe and healthy for me all this time.  Because when someone supports you behind the scenes here, you know they are genuine about it.  It’s unspoken and true.  That people understand what you are going through.  More importantly they understand why you do what you do to make it through.

There are a lot of rash things I could do to make things right.  I’ve always thought in this process the most effective thing to make right was myself.  A lot of me discovering my confidence has been about being around influences that are compatible with my goals.  My goals are complex.  My life even more so.  I’ve had to abandon things I loved to do like make music to feel safe.  Taking photos online as well.  Social media is an extension these days of how you present yourself in public.  Being social, comfortable with myself and genuine is something I’m very good at.  It isn’t always respected in real life or on the internet.  Why do we put up with it?  We in America are taught to want and have it all.  There isn’t enough to go around these days.  Money is fucked.  So we develop other obscure ways to devalue each other.  Social value and clout exist in a vacuum of hidden gatekeepers and cabals of elite bullshit.  Think bitcoin backed by hot air and broken promises.  Groups of people who can’t value themselves alone or support people without a catch.  And so there’s any number of scams evolving on a day to day basis.  Narratives to get lost in.  Roles to get pigeonholed in.  Debt to get lost in.  Treat yourself and pay for it later.  I’ve been pragmatic about everything in spite of this for awhile.  I quit drinking.  I kept a spreadsheet of my finances and what I spend.  I budgeted out the things I wanted and needed.  I coached myself out of a mess only to find the world is messier than I ever imagined.  If it were simple enough to shut the door on everything and start fresh in the world I would.  I’m back in New York in a couple of weeks.  My plan has evolved into a visit every two months.  I was talking with someone who had said they knew people who worked there but lived elsewhere.  Artists renting out studio spaces to show and produce work.  I imagine a regional manager or director would have a similar lifestyle.  Visiting coffee shops and meeting with staff.  I travel a lot and I don’t mind it.  It’s not something I couldn’t conceive for myself some day.  It beats trying to become a musician in an over flooded mess of people who don’t really care about anyone other than themselves.  I imagine like now I’d be looked at as successful.  I’d be overlooked just as much.  Maybe I’d be in an environment where being picked over all this time would be appreciated.  In my mind, I already am.  I have been since last August.  I’ve just been trying to figure out ways to make that more sustainable and real.  None of those solutions are particularly easy or concrete.  Neither is running six miles before work when nobody really knows how hard it is to move forward.  It isn’t that hard.  You put one foot in front of the other.  The hardest part is to know where to run to.  Flock of Seagulls not withstanding I’m running towards you not at you.  It’s an aggressive but steady pace.  One that I’ll run laps around in Central Park by the end of this month.  <3 Tim

[unlovedaddict]

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Tail Biting in Dogs — What Are the Causes?

The post Tail Biting in Dogs — What Are the Causes? by Melvin Peña appeared first on Dogster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren’t considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Dogster.com.

Since dogs cannot talk, they cannot make their needs or desires plain to us in any simple or intelligible way. It’s easy to get frustrated when our dogs engage in behaviors that are repetitive, troubling or destructive. We all take some degree of pleasure, on the other hand, when we see a dog chasing her tail. When an occasional canine tail chase turns into a habit, though, and when that habit ends in tail biting or tail chewing, it can signal a range of potential issues.

What’s even more troubling is the sheer volume of people who not only ask, “Why does my dog keep biting her tail and whining?” but also end that question with “for no reason?” Just because we cannot immediately isolate the source of the odd behavior doesn’t mean that it is purposeless or without foundation. Obsessive or compulsive canine behaviors, like chasing and gnawing at the tail, always have a root cause.

The most common causes of tail biting and tail chewing in dogs are:

What are the most common reasons for dog tail biting or tail chewing? Photography ©ulkas | Thinkstock.

Parasites: fleas, ticks, or worms

Environmental and skin allergies

Hot spots and other secondary infections

Stress, boredom, or confinement

Injury

Impacted anal glands

Let’s take a closer look at each of these issues below.

1. Parasitic infestations

Fleas and ticks are common enough seasonal afflictions for dogs. We’ve all seen a dog scratch at a spot on his body where fleas are bouncing around or a tick has attached itself. With medicated collars, regular baths, and prescriptions, these pests are fairly easy to treat. In the same way that humans are allergic to the saliva of cats or dogs, so too are some dogs allergic, not to the presence of ticks and fleas, but to the saliva in their bites.

A dog with an undiagnosed flea allergy may bite repeatedly at the site of an allergic reaction until they break their own skin to find relief. Tapeworms can also cause such physical discomfort in the area surrounding the anus that a dog feels compelled to gnaw at the base of her tail. Ultimately, it’s the pain she’s causing herself by constant chewing that leads her to whine as well.

2. Allergies

Inflammation of the skin, or dermatitis, caused by fleas and ticks is not the only allergy that can lead a dog to chew at her tail. Environmental allergies — anything from pollen outside to household chemicals inside — can give rise to allergic reactions. Whether the source of your dog’s allergy is mites, mold or contact with other animals, the reactions are most severe in a dog’s early years, between 3 months and 6 years old.

A human’s first instinct to a skin allergy is to scratch at it, and it’s the same for a dog. Interestingly, trying to treat one allergy can lead to the discovery of a different one. If your dog has sensitive skin, something as simple as the shampoos or soaps you use to bathe her can also spur an allergic response.

3. Hot spots

A hot spot is an area on a dog’s body where repeated scratching or chewing leads to the creation of an open wound. Warmth and moisture are the optimal conditions for hot spots to form. Should a stray bacteria find its way to the site before it is properly treated, a secondary infection is a typical result. Recognize a hot spot by the presence of blood, pus, and matted hair.

If your puppy or dog is biting at the base of her tail so frequently that she draws blood, then secondary infections are not the root cause of her problem, only another symptom. A veterinarian can help you determine whether the true reason has to do with hygiene, nutrition, or another factor.

4. Stress and anxiety

Stress, anxiety and boredom can lead dogs into a host of destructive and repetitive behaviors: tearing up your favorite shoes, your most comfortable couch pillows, and so on. Out of necessity, some people crate their dogs when they leave for the day. If dogs spend too much time confined, they may turn their attentions inward and seek relief where they can.

The same applies to dogs who do not get sufficient exercise, interactive play or mental stimulation. Some people may think a dog turns to self-destructive activities like tail biting as ways to get attention, and in these cases, who can blame them?

5. Injury

Any kind of rear or hindquarters injury — a broken or fractured tail bone, for instance — is something a dog cannot inform his owner of, and may go unnoticed under normal circumstances. The intensity of the dog’s pain may lead her to act on or draw attention to it by excessive chewing, biting, or licking at the affected area. Only veterinary X-rays will be able to properly diagnose such an issue.

6. Impacted anal glands

Anal gland issues may cause dog tail biting. Photography ©Fly_dragonfly | Thinkstock.

Finally, another common reason why a dog may be biting at the base of her tail until it’s bleeding is an impacted anal gland. A dog’s anal glands are as important to a dog as our hands are to us, and, socially, they fill similar needs. Just as we shake hands when we meet folks, canine anal glands secrete interesting fluids that dogs smell when they meet each other. This is one reason why dogs are so intent on sniffing at each other’s rear ends at any opportunity.

One obvious sign that a dog is having an anal gland issue is scooting, when he sits up and drags his butt across the ground. Other symptoms include a fouler-than-normal smell originating from a dog’s behind, trouble defecating (you call it constipation), and, in severe cases, blood or pus in the feces.

How have you been dealing with your dog tail biting?

As you can tell, dogs who are giving a lot of attention to chewing their tails — particularly the base of the tail — may be afflicted with a wide variety of problems. Really, it’s quite a rich tapestry of causes that can lead to compulsive tail biting.

But, good news! Whether it’s practicing better hygiene with your dogs, discovering whether they are allergic to some thing or creature around the home, addressing small wounds before they develop secondary infections or simply making sure they get out more, all of these issues are treatable.

Tell us: Have you ever had a puppy or a dog who seemed to fixate on her tail area? Were you or your veterinarian able to isolate the key problem and address it successfully? Share your experiences with dog tail biting in the comments!

This post was originally published on May 1, 2018. 

About the author: Melvin Peña trained as a scholar and teacher of 18th-century British literature before turning his research and writing skills to puppies and kittens. He enjoys making art, hiking, and concert-going, as well as dazzling crowds with operatic karaoke performances. He has a one-year-old female Bluetick Coonhound mix named Idris, and his online life is conveniently encapsulated here.

Thumbnail: Photography ©Mike Watson Images | Thinkstock. 

Read more about dog behavior on Dogster.com:

5 Rainy Day Ideas to Keep Dogs Active Indoors

How to Prevent Dog Bites

Everything You Wanted to Know About Dog Penis Behavior

The post Tail Biting in Dogs — What Are the Causes? by Melvin Peña appeared first on Dogster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren’t considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Dogster.com.

[stiles-wtf]

Tail Biting in Dogs — What Are the Causes?

The post Tail Biting in Dogs — What Are the Causes? by Melvin Peña appeared first on Dogster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren’t considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Dogster.com.

Since dogs cannot talk, they cannot make their needs or desires plain to us in any simple or intelligible way. It’s easy to get frustrated when our dogs engage in behaviors that are repetitive, troubling or destructive. We all take some degree of pleasure, on the other hand, when we see a dog chasing her tail. When an occasional canine tail chase turns into a habit, though, and when that habit ends in tail biting or tail chewing, it can signal a range of potential issues.

What’s even more troubling is the sheer volume of people who not only ask, “Why does my dog keep biting her tail and whining?” but also end that question with “for no reason?” Just because we cannot immediately isolate the source of the odd behavior doesn’t mean that it is purposeless or without foundation. Obsessive or compulsive canine behaviors, like chasing and gnawing at the tail, always have a root cause.

The most common causes of tail biting and tail chewing in dogs are:

What are the most common reasons for dog tail biting or tail chewing? Photography ©ulkas | Thinkstock.

Parasites: fleas, ticks, or worms

Environmental and skin allergies

Hot spots and other secondary infections

Stress, boredom, or confinement

Injury

Impacted anal glands

Let’s take a closer look at each of these issues below.

1. Parasitic infestations

Fleas and ticks are common enough seasonal afflictions for dogs. We’ve all seen a dog scratch at a spot on his body where fleas are bouncing around or a tick has attached itself. With medicated collars, regular baths, and prescriptions, these pests are fairly easy to treat. In the same way that humans are allergic to the saliva of cats or dogs, so too are some dogs allergic, not to the presence of ticks and fleas, but to the saliva in their bites.

A dog with an undiagnosed flea allergy may bite repeatedly at the site of an allergic reaction until they break their own skin to find relief. Tapeworms can also cause such physical discomfort in the area surrounding the anus that a dog feels compelled to gnaw at the base of her tail. Ultimately, it’s the pain she’s causing herself by constant chewing that leads her to whine as well.

2. Allergies

Inflammation of the skin, or dermatitis, caused by fleas and ticks is not the only allergy that can lead a dog to chew at her tail. Environmental allergies — anything from pollen outside to household chemicals inside — can give rise to allergic reactions. Whether the source of your dog’s allergy is mites, mold or contact with other animals, the reactions are most severe in a dog’s early years, between 3 months and 6 years old.

A human’s first instinct to a skin allergy is to scratch at it, and it’s the same for a dog. Interestingly, trying to treat one allergy can lead to the discovery of a different one. If your dog has sensitive skin, something as simple as the shampoos or soaps you use to bathe her can also spur an allergic response.

3. Hot spots

A hot spot is an area on a dog’s body where repeated scratching or chewing leads to the creation of an open wound. Warmth and moisture are the optimal conditions for hot spots to form. Should a stray bacteria find its way to the site before it is properly treated, a secondary infection is a typical result. Recognize a hot spot by the presence of blood, pus, and matted hair.

If your puppy or dog is biting at the base of her tail so frequently that she draws blood, then secondary infections are not the root cause of her problem, only another symptom. A veterinarian can help you determine whether the true reason has to do with hygiene, nutrition, or another factor.

4. Stress and anxiety

Stress, anxiety and boredom can lead dogs into a host of destructive and repetitive behaviors: tearing up your favorite shoes, your most comfortable couch pillows, and so on. Out of necessity, some people crate their dogs when they leave for the day. If dogs spend too much time confined, they may turn their attentions inward and seek relief where they can.

The same applies to dogs who do not get sufficient exercise, interactive play or mental stimulation. Some people may think a dog turns to self-destructive activities like tail biting as ways to get attention, and in these cases, who can blame them?

5. Injury

Any kind of rear or hindquarters injury — a broken or fractured tail bone, for instance — is something a dog cannot inform his owner of, and may go unnoticed under normal circumstances. The intensity of the dog’s pain may lead her to act on or draw attention to it by excessive chewing, biting, or licking at the affected area. Only veterinary X-rays will be able to properly diagnose such an issue.

6. Impacted anal glands

Anal gland issues may cause dog tail biting. Photography ©Fly_dragonfly | Thinkstock.

Finally, another common reason why a dog may be biting at the base of her tail until it’s bleeding is an impacted anal gland. A dog’s anal glands are as important to a dog as our hands are to us, and, socially, they fill similar needs. Just as we shake hands when we meet folks, canine anal glands secrete interesting fluids that dogs smell when they meet each other. This is one reason why dogs are so intent on sniffing at each other’s rear ends at any opportunity.

One obvious sign that a dog is having an anal gland issue is scooting, when he sits up and drags his butt across the ground. Other symptoms include a fouler-than-normal smell originating from a dog’s behind, trouble defecating (you call it constipation), and, in severe cases, blood or pus in the feces.

How have you been dealing with your dog tail biting?

As you can tell, dogs who are giving a lot of attention to chewing their tails — particularly the base of the tail — may be afflicted with a wide variety of problems. Really, it’s quite a rich tapestry of causes that can lead to compulsive tail biting.

But, good news! Whether it’s practicing better hygiene with your dogs, discovering whether they are allergic to some thing or creature around the home, addressing small wounds before they develop secondary infections or simply making sure they get out more, all of these issues are treatable.

Tell us: Have you ever had a puppy or a dog who seemed to fixate on her tail area? Were you or your veterinarian able to isolate the key problem and address it successfully? Share your experiences with dog tail biting in the comments!

This post was originally published on May 1, 2018. 

About the author: Melvin Peña trained as a scholar and teacher of 18th-century British literature before turning his research and writing skills to puppies and kittens. He enjoys making art, hiking, and concert-going, as well as dazzling crowds with operatic karaoke performances. He has a one-year-old female Bluetick Coonhound mix named Idris, and his online life is conveniently encapsulated here.

Thumbnail: Photography ©Mike Watson Images | Thinkstock. 

Read more about dog behavior on Dogster.com:

5 Rainy Day Ideas to Keep Dogs Active Indoors

How to Prevent Dog Bites

Everything You Wanted to Know About Dog Penis Behavior

The post Tail Biting in Dogs — What Are the Causes? by Melvin Peña appeared first on Dogster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren’t considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Dogster.com.