#but did she ever take accountability for allowing abusive unemployed men destroy our home and health for 8 years?
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I just know we are going to fight about this later and i can't help but feel like it undercuts the teary apology she gave me yesterday about letting me down during my childhood and leaving me messed up in the head
Altho honestly the fact that she offered this instead of following up with me about getting me into therapy (which we talked about a month ago) should have been my first clue that she still isn't really willing to put in the effort to change things
#the biggest positive change in our relationship within the last 3 years was her husband stopped beating her#no. they didnt get divorced. she didnt Leave him. he just decided to stop#and that was a drastic improvement ok both of our mental healths and ability to coexist#but did she ever take accountability for allowing abusive unemployed men destroy our home and health for 8 years?#no LMAO#and victim blaming be damned she has a support system in and out of town and she has always financially supported these violent men#it has never been the other way around. she has no Need for her husband beyond the desire to be loved and married#and running away cutting myself trying to kill myself doing drugs as a teenager - none of this was ever more important than having a man#i know abuse changes the way you think i Know i Understand it has changed my mom in a permanent way#but dont i matter too? doesnt it matter that i didnt want to live like that?#doesnt it matter that i have gracefully endured the anxiety and pain and trauma of living with a violent man#so that she and he could have a fresh start in their marriage?
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