#but currently im so fkn anxious and worried
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໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১
#i keep feeling so damn anxious and i cant calm it even if i try#i try mindfulness and distracting myself but im so restless and anxious and full of dread#i keep waiting for a message .. but everytime i check theres nothing and then my entire body ends up in pain T-T#(i do get all of this i get not replying i get it i get it but it still hurts ok?)#and then i get so sad and anxious again#bc obviously i cant and wont be a priority.. and i have to learn how to be ok w that#i want to be and i wished to be but i wont be#so i simply just have to wait... :c#but currently im so fkn anxious and worried#bc i dont know where we stand. idk if we will talk again. like i dont. know!!!!!!#idk if i'll lose him completely and never even get to talk to him a little bit :((#and i feel so anxious and lonely bc of it 🤙🤙#i just want to know i want him to want to talk to me and just... ???#i want to know if.. it's worth enough to not just throw away completely and what will happen and idk#ofc it will be so fkn painful to keep in touch w him when i want from him what he cant and wont give me#and i simply have to learn how to let go and not be in love w him anymore#but also like life is so short life is so terrifying and life is so small and lonely#and esp for me its so hard to find anyone i can relate to#so even if it will be hard i dont want to lose him completely so i just dont fucking know and im so fucking anxious abt it i just wanna cry
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