#but cleaning is hard. I'm trying to marie kondo my stuff. decide if i want to sell donate or trash

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Hmm. I'm just now remembering how stressful moving is.

[frogofalltime]

23.02.2024

today i had no classes at all so i let myself sleep in without an alarm. i had around 10 hours of sleep and when i got up i felt a lot more well rested than i have in a long time.

i brought my notebook, pens, and ipad to the kitchen and got started with studying immediately after eating breakfast. this was a very smart idea because normally executive dysfunction means i procrastinate for hours between tasks, but today i had all the things i needed to do my work straight away.

i watched and took notes on a lecture that i missed last week, it was about jawless vertebrates (lampreys and hagfish) and it was very interesting. i drew lots of weird little creatures.

then i took a break to use the bathroom, pray, and eat lunch. i didn't bother getting changed out of my pyjamas, because i was feeling very sick from The Plague™️, and i wasn't planning on leaving the flat, and i also needed to shower before i could put clean clothes on anyway because i was a Stinky Rat Boy

after that i started working on a coursework project that i should've started months ago but it felt too daunting. it took many hours and i sent a few rants to @etherealspacejelly and @mollusc-consultant but eventually i got it done. there's just one more task i need to do for that project which is a mock interview, i am still putting that off because Autism™️, but the deadline is in just under two weeks so i have time. when i've done that it will hopefully be ready to submit.

i also looked on the university website to find out when all my deadlines are and i put them into my reminders app so i would not forget. this made me feel a lot more organised and on top of things rather than like i was drowning under stress.

then i put away my laundry which had been hanging to dry in my room all week; i didn't realise how much it was stressing me out until it was all put away and i finally had space to move around in my room again. you know what maybe marie kondo is right and an uncluttered home is the most important thing for mental health after all

after prayer time i decided to cook a proper meal for dinner and i called my mother while i did that. she gets worried if i don't talk to her a few times per week. little things did annoy me, like how she said "i always love hearing from my daughter", and when i compared myself to the cat saying i was "so sleepy all the time like meery" (because i keep having to take naps recently) she was like "yes he's a sleepy boy and you're a sleepy girl" :/ but oh well it doesn't matter.

i ate dinner and i was reading percy jackson when my Cool Gay Flatmate walked into the kitchen. she was wearing a really nice outfit which was similar to the kind of clothes i usually wear, and she's dyed her hair green and cut it shorter, and she has a nose ring and other piercings, basically she's exactly the kind of person i want to be friends with, but i Literally Never See Her because she's always staying at her girlfriend's house or visiting family and stuff. i have such a huge platonic crush on her :')

she noticed i was reading percy jackson and got excited about it and we both nerded out about it for a while, which was super fun !! she likes one of my special interests omg !! but she had to go because she was going to be late for something, which was sad because i really want to spend more time with her !! also i was kinda embarrassed because she always bumps into me when i'm like. in my pyjamas and sick and desperately need a shower. but i want her to see me when i'm wearing my daytime clothes and not Dishevelled™️ so she thinks i am cool aaaaa

then i washed my dishes and went to take a shower but it was hard and i procrastinated a lot. afterwards i felt a lot better though. being greasy and stinky is Not fun

i put on clean pyjamas and went back to the kitchen to eat a snack before bed. i have such a huge appetite recently, i can't stop eating, and it's kind of scary, but i am trying really hard to honour my body's needs. i ended up eating twice as much chocolate as i had intended to eat, but i have to remember that it's okay. i'm finally eating what my body wants after more than ten years of neglecting it and i think that's extremely important.

@parasite-2 sent robin a mathematics challenge and robin asked me to help, so i spent two hours puzzling over it which was So Much Fun. i forgot how much i enjoy doing maths questions. its probably also good for my brain, right ? maybe i should do this more often as self care.

then i finally went to bed, i changed my pillow case because i had just washed my hair and that's the Rules. i was feeling very ill again, i couldn't stop coughing and my back hurt a lot, so it took ages for me to get to sleep. i think i finally fell asleep around 2am.