#but children?? my darlings that man is never retiring much less having a life-work balance
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Robin fic snippet
âSkin contact,â he said, reaching out. Elle passed him the baby, hands briefly overlapping on her little skull, âNo one was holding her.â Â The difference came by degrees- tired wail fading into sad grizzling, rubbing her wet little face beneath Jasonâs collarbone before rapidly seeming to collapse into exhaustion. Â Careful, Jason leaned against the edge of the desk he never actually used. After a beat, Elle followed, moving with assured quiet to pull herself up on top of the wide oak slab, high enough to lean her cheek on his shoulder. Â âStarted screaming the second she was done eating,â Elle whispered. Sighed, turning her head to press a brief kiss to Jasonâs skin. âGod.â She reached out, hesitantly touching one little hand, bunched even in rest, âSheâs so small.â Â For a while, they just watched the baby sleep. Â âDoes she have name?â Â Elle smiled. âElodie, I think. Feels like an Elodie.â Â Another Elle. Ellie. Jason barely wrestled silence into his laugh, rocking the baby as she stirred. âSounds good.â Â He wanted to know what shade her eyes would be when they settled past baby blue. The color of her hair. The sound of her little laugh. A tiny, tiny magical person- Elle was right, of course. Theyâd never let her get hurt, ever again. Â âPhilippeâll be here in the morning,â Elle told him, quietly. Â Jason told himself not to be a fucking idiot. Not to be disappointed- Â He also knew perfectly well what he sounded like, when he whispered back, âWeâre not keeping her?â
#Jason Todd: I am NOTHING LIKE BATMAN#Jason holding an orphan child for ten seconds: I am a Father Now#sometimes you just have to have a beautiful tank of a bloodsplattered man#rip off all his body armor to hold a baby#it is required!#actually I think Jason is the batkid most designed to have the Adoption Instinct#Dick is too easy of a choice!#siblings? yes now that he's gotten used to the idea#but children?? my darlings that man is never retiring much less having a life-work balance#Elle just trying to do her job#and being forcibly confronted with this Sheer Sexiness: this is FINE#YEP UH FINE#the conga line in her head: SOULMARK AUTOPSY SCAR MUSCLES SWEAT JASON-#teeny tiny witch baby#Jason meanwhile fantasizing about middle names and first steps#a kid! named after the love of his life! yes of course!#Migration Patterns of Turdidae#he's just an edgelord disaster with extremely normie desires
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That prompt list is so hard to choose from! Lots of good stuff on there!
Couldnât go past #54 though for ironfroststrange! (Please and thank you đ)
Thank you for the ask @knightryder24 𼰠I had a lot of fun writing for this prompt. It's probably not what you had in mind, but I hope you like it!
Sorry it took me so much time to answer. I hope that the fact it is 2k long (which is way more than my other answers to the intimacy prompts) will make up for it.
~~~
frostironstrange, tony stark, stephen strange, loki, morgan stark, fluff and awkwardness, chaste kissing, getting together
~~~
Date night was awkward. Well, what was he expecting, really? He invited Loki and Stephen to have dinner with him. The God of Mischief and the Sorcerer Supreme, together, in the same room with mere mortal Tony? Yeah, it was a sure recipe for trouble.
âMore dessert?â he asked with not a small amount of unease.
âOh, I would love to take your dessert, darling,â Loki purred suggestively, with glinting eyes and smirking lips, and there was no way he was talking about the chocolate cake offered to him.
Tony gulped.
âThank you, Tony,â Stephen replied softly, taking a piece for himself and another for Loki, thankfully cutting through Lokiâs aggressive flirting.
Tony lost himself for a second in Stephenâs mesmerizing blue-green eyes, took a little strength from the wizardâs calm demeanor, then shook his head. No, this was still a terrible idea. What was he thinking inviting them in his house?
Well, truth be told, it wasnât his idea. Stephen suggested it, and Loki approved. So really, if anyone was to blame for the poor night they were all having, it wasnât Tony.
But maybe it wasnât such a bad evening. Sure, there were awkward silences, uneasy glances and shy blushes. But there were also good wine and great Asgardian ale. They talked about magic and science and technology, Asgardian customs that should be abandoned forever, and others that would do great to Earth societies. They discussed life, love, family and relationships.
They talked about their relationship.
Their weird relationship wasnât exactly a new thing. Theyâd been dancing around each other for months now. Since Thanos, they had been getting closer and closer together. Tony just had to meet the Sorcerer who orchestrated everything and helped them to win. After screaming at him with all the strength of his lungs for not telling him what the plan was, Tony understood and tried to get to know the man better. They got along far better than he ever dared to imagine.
Tony met Loki in totally different circumstances. With a whole ass alien nation now settling on Earth, Tony got involved in the smooth integration of New Asgard. That was where he got to know Loki, and the mischievous God carved a place into his heart scarily quickly, if he were honest.
What he discovered with these two men was beautiful, just as broken as Tony was, but glorious (as Loki would love to say). It was a deep friendship that slowly evolved into something else, into something more.
Tony would never forget the day he held Stephenâs hand for the first time, carefully cradling his trembling fingers between his own. The trust in Stephenâs eyes took his breath away.
The strong hug he shared with Loki one afternoon, was also etched into his memory, a fond time and a show of vulnerability like no other. It was truly glorious.
Tony also knew Loki and Stephen exchanged a chaste kiss at the Sanctum, even though he didnât know the details. He just found it infinitely endearing. But it brought some difficult questions to his mind.
âWhy would I have to choose only one of you, when I adore you both?â Loki had asked incredulously one day, when Tony broached the subject of their weird three-way relationship. Then, the Asgardian seemed to remember. âOh, I see. Your Midgardianâs customs limit your view on the matter. In Asgard, a relationship is only what the people involved want it to be. Be it between a man and a woman, or two men, or two women, or more than two people and all the combination you could ever imagine.â
âSo what do you want?â Tony had asked.
Loki only answered with a broad devilish smile.
Stephen suggested the dinner date the next day, and Loki approved immediately. And there they were. In this awkward situation, navigating the troubled water of a brand new relationship. Tony was about to embark on a relationship with not only one, but two magical men, and his head was spinning. In anticipation. In fear. Elation. Love too.
Double the love, who would have thought, uh?
âHow about we move this to a more comfortable location?â Loki asked, bringing Tony back to the present. âThe couch, maybe?â He arched his eyebrows suggestively again, and Tony lost his words (again) turning bright red. The God of Mischief was really good at making Tony blush these days. Damn. Tony was losing all his smooth flirting when he was with them.
âSure,â he said. Jeez, that was so lame. He definitely was losing his cool with them. âYou go there,â he gestured toward the living room, âIâll make coffee and tea for Stephen. Our good doctor canât end an evening without his chamomile tea, the fiend. Iâll take care of it.â
Stephen rolled his eyes, but simply smiled at Tonyâs antics, and he left the table with Loki, guiding him through the house with a gentle hand on the small of his back.
The gesture was overwhelmingly delicate and tender, and fondness surged through Tonyâs heart.
Too much, it was too much.
Finally alone after all the awkwardness and tension, Tony breathed out, paused for one second, before getting in motion again. He couldnât stay still and let his brain do his overthinking thing. Except, he couldnât stop thinking as he made the drinks on autopilot, too focused on his own thoughts (and the two Sorcerers casually sitting on his couch) to care about what his hands were doing.
What the hell was he doing? After all the hardship in his life, he couldnât settle for a simple retirement plan in his cabin by the lake, with Morgan, and Pepper? Well, Pepper wasnât exactly here anymore. They couldnât make it work together and that was sad, but it was life, right? Life sucked. But they had found a balance, between her new job in New York and his simple life by the lake, and their amazing daughter to raise. It wasnât ideal, but it seemed to work for them.
And now, Tony wanted to complicate all this delicate balance with this new and weird relationship?
What was he thinking?
âHey.â Stephenâs gentle voice interrupted Tonyâs spiraling thoughts, and a shaking hand landed on his shoulder.
Tony turned to face the other man. The hand, still on his shoulder, calmed him a little, silenced his thoughts.
âHi,â Tony whispered.
Stephenâs lips curled into a tender smile that warmed Tonyâs heart. Red tinted his sharp cheekbones, from the wine and the Asgardian ale they shared earlier. His eyes glinted, maybe because he kissed Loki again on the couch while waiting for Tony. Oh, how he would love to join them and shut the voices in his head telling him this was a bad idea.
âAre you okay?â Stephen asked in his deep voice. âIs it too much, for you? We can leave if you want to. We would understand.â
âNo!â Tony immediately blurted out. His hand came up to hold on to Stephenâs wrist. He was careful not to grip the fine bones too tight, and to avoid the delicate scarred fingers, but he couldnât let go, couldnât let Stephen (and Loki) leave him. He wanted them here, with him. Forever.
âStay, please,â he finally said. âItâs just⌠Itâs a lot. But I want you here.â
Tonyâs heart fluttered at Stephenâs answering smile, the softest and loveliest curl of his lips. And his eyes shone so bright with affection. Maybe love?
Tony gripped Stephenâs wrist in his hand, drew him closer while getting on his tiptoes. There, he left a gentle kiss on Stephenâs cheek. A surprised yet pleased sound escaped Stephenâs lips and Tony couldnât wait to hear all the beautiful noises he could get from this man. Loki would probably be impossible to shake, but maybe he might help Tony to fluster Stephen? That would be lovely. Tony couldnât wait to have both men with him, in his bed, and suddenly he wasnât so afraid of this whole situation anymore.
âLetâs go find Loki, before he burns my house to the ground,â he said.
âAbsolutely,â Stephen laughed before putting his arm around Tonyâs waist, and making his way to the living room.
Which was empty when they arrived.
âLokes?â
Tonyâs heart dropped. Did Loki leave? Did he already get tired of them and just left?
But then, Tony heard a high-pitched giggle and a low voice from the bedrooms. He frowned, then hurried upstairs, Stephen on his heels. It wasnât that he didnât trust Loki. But he wasnât sure how the God of Mischief would handle his daughter, and Tony wasnât ready to take any risks with his sweet little Morgan.
But when he peeked through her bedroom door, Tonyâs heart melted. Morgan was in her bed, carefully tucked under the covers. Loki sat on the floor beside her bed, a book on his lap, his soft voice lulling her to sleep with a story. Except, every few sentences, he stopped, made a comment about the improbability of the tale, or how his own adventures were far more interesting, and Morgan giggled with him. It seemed like she was getting less and less sleepy, completely defeating the purpose of the bedtime story in the first place.
Tony melted.
âWhat are you doing up, little miss? Itâs past your bedtime, you should be sleeping.â
âLoki is reading me a story.â
He could see that. The great God of Mischief felt utterly out of place on the floor of the little room painted in all sorts of bubblegum-pink shades Morgan loved so much.
âThe little munchkin wanted a bedtime story. I thought it would amuse her greatly to hear the story of how I defeated the great enemies of Asgard, but she wanted me to read this book instead.â He showed them the title and Tony repressed a giggle of his ownâit was just too hilarious to imagine Loki reading a childrenâs book.
âThis little red riding hood story is particularly gruesome. I love it,â Loki commented with a wide and devilish smile.
âItâs great,â Morgan commented from the bed. âBut heâs not doing the voices.â
Loki pouted and this time, Tony truly laughed.
âCome on, darling,â Stephen said joining Loki on the floor. âYou have to do the voices. Iâll be the wolf, youâll be the grandma.â
Loki looked disgusted.
âTony can be the grandma.â
âSure, Iâll be the grandma. I have a mug that says âBest Grandma in the worldâ in the kitchenâs cabinet, anyway.â
âCome here, Grandma,â Stephen gestured to him laughing.
Tony joined them on the floor. They were truly ridiculous, three grown men sitting on a pink carpet, with a childrenâs book between them. But Morgan was smiling with all her missing tooth and Tony was feeling all fuzzy inside. Like he was at the right place.
Finally.
Maybe the three of them together wasnât such a bad idea.
Reading a fairytale with three opinionated men was a disaster. They were all reading atop of each other, commenting on the other voices â âThe grandma isnât that weak, Tony.â âYes she is, thatâs why she gets eaten.â âSpoiler alert!â âOh come on doc, you donât have to make your voice so deep.â âShow off.â âLokes, youâre cheating.â âIâm not.â âUsing magic is cheating.â âIt sets the atmosphere.â âShow off.â âShut up, wizard.â
And yet, Morgan was smiling, Tony too, and when his daughter eventually fell asleepâby some miracle even his genius brain couldnât explainâhe was smiling even wider.
Maybeâdefinitelyâthis relationship wasnât such a bad idea. So instead of ushering Loki and Stephen and their awkwardness from the beginning out the door, Tony led them to his bedroom. And what they did behind the closed door was only the beginning of their relationship.
~~~
Inspired by this intimacy prompt list (my ask box is still open for prompts (or anything else), just know that it might take me some time to answer prompts because I have other projects I need to focus on right now)
Prompts filled: 3. touching foreheads (ironstrangefrost) 7. kissing scars (ironstrange) 23. wearing someoneâs clothing (ironstrange) 29. kissing while mad (ironstrange) 30. being protective (drpepperony) 47. cuddling under blankets (ironstrangefrost) 54. reading a book together (ironstrangefrost) 59. height difference (ironstrange)
Currently working on:
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Tea with Barnaby Pt. 1
[The following is an rp scene between Olivia and @draenei-barnaby. They spend the afternoon catching up until an infamous black envelope interrupts.]
Olivia was starting to spend a lot of time thinking on the subjects of love, family, and friends since the beginning of the year, and in doing so, she found herself thinking of friends with whom she had grown distant. It was never her intention to drift away from people, but life always seemed tumultuous so very suddenly, and things like social commitments fell through the cracks.
Tea with Barnaby, the man who had once saved her from bandits, was Oliviaâs best attempt to make amends for the time that passed between them.
With respect to the Draeneiâs enormous presence, Olivia spent the entire morning moving all unnecessary furniture out of her parlor. A few end tables, two chairs, and a pair of crates filled with research were all stashed in her spare room in preparation. Moving the sofa back a couple of feet, to give her guest more room to sit comfortably, took all the strength Olivia possessed, as well as more than a few attempts. In the end, though, the living room looked spacious enough to accommodate the man and his tail.
With an hour to spare, Olivia quickly freshened up, doing her hair and makeup before slipping into a casual green and ivory gown with an empress waist. She wore house shoes instead of her typical heeled footwear and whispered around the house to get everything out and just so. With a half hour before his intended arrival, Olivia put on a kettle and prepped the tea pot, choosing the pot meant to serve a large crowd, as she assumed Barnaby would drink more than a single small cup.
Finally, when there were no preparations left, Olivia retired to the sitting room to put on music and resume reading a book about the customs of ancient Troll tribes.
Barnaby was delighted at being invited to take tea at Oliviaâs home in Stormwind. He rode his stocky horse, Dumpling, from his cabin in Redridge, through Elwynn Forest and into the bustling human city. Although Draenei were an uncommon sight, enough time had passed since theyâd arrived on Azeroth that most of the city-going folk were acclimated to their presence. Still, the small children that pointed and gawked at his unusual appearance pleased him, his tail curling in pride.
When he knocked at Oliviaâs door, she found him wearing a red flannel shirt and trousers and carrying a basket of covered food on one arm. He looked pleased to be there, his face radiating happiness. âAh, Olivia! How good it is to see you again, youâre looking beautiful as ever!â
The draenei squeezed himself through the doorway and managed to get himself situated at Oliviaâs table with a minimum of bumping into furniture. He set the large basket on the tabletop and uncovered it, taking out a savory-looking homemade meat pie and a loaf of flavorful homemade seed bread. âI thought Iâd bring a few things for us to share over lunch.â
âI am so glad you could make it darling,â Olivia greeted with an equally radiant smile.
As Barnaby entered and made himself at home, the small woman went back to the icebox to take out a spring salad with small edible blooms sprinkled in it for color. With her free hand she took out a rustic looking plain cheesecake and balanced it on the top of the salad bowl so she could grab a bowl of mixed berries as well.
âI did not make the cheesecake, so it is not burnt in the slightest,â she assured her guest as she brought the cool items to the table. âI did make the salad and arranged the cheese board.â
Once those items were arranged, she went to see to the teapot.
âHow are you? I hope the winter treated you well.â
With the addition of the spring salad, cheesecake, and berries, between them Olivia and Barny had assembled quite a delicious spread of food on the table. Barnaby started cutting the hot meat pie into sections.
He reflected on the past winter. âWe had one or two large snowfalls... I had to do some repair work on the shed, and remove a couple trees that were felled by a windstorm. Thatâs nothing too unusual, though. The biggest news, was that I had a houseguest for a time.â
The draenei fell quiet for a moment. âIt was an unusual case. A woman, the likes of which Iâd never seen before. Calling herself a âroegadynâ... She said sheâd gotten lost, and I had to help her find her way home, after a fashion.â
Barnaby looked as if he was daydreaming fondly for a moment, then shook his head and began to slice the loaf of bread. âThankfully, it all worked out in the end. And yourself? I imagine snowfall is quite picturesque in the city.â
With her back turned to Barnaby, he wouldnât see her furrowed brow nor her silent attempt at saying the word âroegadynâ. There was no way she could know what the woman was, but she also believed it would be rude to pry, so instead the word was stored away with minimal context.
âOh, the city is lovely with fresh snow. It quickly turns grey with the traffic and smoke, but it is lovely while it falls,â Olivia replied wistfully as she returned to the table with the tray of tea, cream, and sugar. âHowever, I spent this past winter in Drustvar. It is equally beautiful in the snow, more so, perhaps, because there are these great ribbons of light in the sky at night. It was a breathtaking sight, as I wasnât exactly enjoying a vacation. I was conscripted by the military to help with research into the witches there. It turned into quite the eventful winter and I am relieved to be back in Stormwind.â
Olivia poured tea for them both and smiled at the large man. He was a lovely, comforting presence and she hadnât realized how much she missed having purely social engagements with kind souls.
âThat pie smells amazing. Is it game or livestock?â She transitioned upon realizing she was starting to stare.
Barnaby looked up at the mention of Drustvar. âThe Kul Tiran island, then?â He listened to the rest of Oliviaâs story with interest. Heâd heard of the island, but never gone to see it himself. He recognized her description of the aurora, but only because heâd seen them before in Northrend. That had been a nightmarish place. He wondered if Oliviaâs experience with these Kul Tiran âwitchesâ had been similarly haunting⌠and dangerous.
The thought of Olivia being in even the remotest danger caused his brows to furrow. He chose that moment to take tea, reminding himself that Olivia had surely taken adequate precautions.
âWere they hospitable to you - The Kul Tirans, I mean?â he asked, curiously. At the question about his pie, Barnaby sat back in his seat and smiled with pride. He hadnât been certain Olivia would like meat pie. âItâs venison, I hunted it.â
âYes, actually. The people I met were generally very friendly. They have their prejudices against mainlanders, but it surfaces more as a sort of superiority rather than blatant hostility,â Olivia replied, smiling with odd fondness. âI met a few rude individuals, but youâll have that anywhere, I imagine.â
She put a few things on her plate after accepting a piece of the meat pie and settled in with her napkin on her lap.
âVenison is my favorite. I wanted to be a huntsman when I was little so that I could eat as much venison as I wanted. I just always liked it,â she commented with a grin.
Olivia cut a bit from the pie and chewed thoughtfully. The hum of approval was immediate, and she nodded as she finished chewing and swallowing the bite.
âThis is delicious, darling. Truly. It reminds me of meals I had when I was younger.â
She reached out and grasped at the air subtly, as if she were reaching for a stemmed glass rather than her teacup. The gesture was corrected, hopefully before he noticed, and she took a sip of tea wishing it was wine.
If Barnaby noticed Olivia making a curious hand gesture as she grasped for a wine glass that wasnât there, he didnât show it. Rather, he only seemed to grow more pleased at being praised for his cooking. His grin became smug, his sideburns fluffed out extra fluffily, and he made a pleased sound low in his throat. âYou are too kind, Miss Olivia. Iâll remember to make it more often, now that I know you enjoy it.â
His smile took on a decidedly roguish bent when Olivia answered that sheâd met a few rude Kul Tirans, despite an overall pleasant experience. âPerhaps I should accompany you next time. Then they will think twice about being anything less than perfect gentlemen.â
A peal of delighted laughter overtook Olivia, and she quickly nodded along with his suggestion.
"I have no doubt in my mind that you would inspire manners in your very wake," she beamed.
However, the expression wavered and was replace with something a bit more pensive. She considered the makeup of the Alliance military and those travelers she saw. There were so few Draenei in Boralus, but there were Lightforged Bulwarks outside of Aromâs Stand, erected to hold back the attacks from the Horde.
âYou know, my cousin, a native Kul Tiran, he still hasnât met a Draenei. There were some of the Lightforged in Aromâs Stand, so he has seen your kind, but has never met you. I do not know what reception your people received in Kul Tiras, but I do hope they remembered their manners. Isolationism can warp the way people see outsiders of any kind.â
It was a somber thought, and one she wouldnât dwell upon. She would let Barnaby have his say before renewing her smile and moving onto something lighter.
âBut, if you like seafood, I have found no other place with such variety as Boralus city.â
Barnaby paused his enjoyment of their delicious lunch to listen to what Olivia was saying. A cousin! This was the first time he could recall her mentioning her family, and as such, he paid close attention. âYou have a cousin who is Kul Tiran? I take it you met him when you journeyed there with the army?â He took a big bite of the buttered bread. â...How did it go?â It was possible she had never met him in person before, or if she had, it could have been a long time ago.
At the mention of Boralusâs variety of seafood, his smile became huge. âItâs settled, Iâll have to make a trip out.â
"It was a little tenuous, at first,â Olivia admitted. âOnly because I was raised to believe my motherâs side of the family suffered great losses in a conflict. That my mother had only a sister, my Aunt Marian. However, by fate, I discovered some of my motherâs siblings survived the conflict and went on to marry into a strong family that kept them safe. So, I have met a few cousins actually. Some of them are twice removed, but no matter the case, it is a strange thing to have family when I thought I had none.â
She dipped a piece of the bread into some of the gravy that was escaping the meat pie and ate quietly a moment, smiling at the thought of her found family.
âI highly recommend it. The people of Kul Tiras are larger folk, on average, so their accommodations will likely be more comfortable than a human or elven inn,â she grinned. âI know my own room, the one I rent there while visiting family and friends, has a bed that at last five more of me could sleep in.â
Barnaby listened to Oliviaâs story about her family as he ate. He found he could imagine the way she was feeling. Heâd lost his own family during the tumults on Draenor, when he had been a boy. Heâd been young enough that he didnât remember much of his parents - only flitting visions that came to him during moments of subconscious, such as in dreams. Now and again, he found himself wondering if any of his biological family had survived. How would he, now an adult, connect with possible siblings, or other family members, he might not have seen since he was a child?
âItâs a blessing, I think... Even if we cannot immediately see it as such,â he murmured. âTo learn of family we didnât know about.â
Barnaby blinked in surprise to learn that the Kul Tirans were âlargerâ folk. That was something that had escaped his notice until now. He wondered how tall they were. Were they draenei-sized? The thought both unsettled and intrigued him. Would that mean he wouldnât automatically be able to intimidate a Kil Tiran? Heâd gotten rather used to being the tallest man in his circle of acquaintances and friends. âAre they, now. How⌠interesting.â
âThey are indeed,â Olivia nodded with a soft giggle. âOf course, I am not the greatest judge of height when almost everyone short of gnomes are taller than me. I canât imagine they are as tall as you, but perhaps their furniture and doorways will be more comfortable.â
She shrugged a bit and laughed, still amused at her own realization. Everyone was larger than her.
âIf you visit, let me know. I could act as your guide, and perhaps we could just get lost together. Oh! Actually, youâd be a brilliant help with the hedge maze, I imagine. You could probably see right over the hedges. There is a tavern at the end of the maze that I have yet to find.â
Barnaby seemed somewhat settled by Oliviaâs reassurance that the Kul Tirans were not, in fact, likely to be taller than he was, but the doorways and chairs would be more comfortable for him. He nodded and returned to the important business of putting meat pie and salad into his mouth.
He looked delighted at the idea of visiting Kul Tiras casually with Olivia. At least, until she mentioned the tavern at the end of a hedge maze. âWho would be so cruel as to put a tavern at the end of a hedge maze?â he questioned, brows furrowed. He apparently thought this a serious question. âBut yes, I think I would enjoy visiting Kul Tiras with you sometime, Olivia.â
"It is rather cruel, isn't it?" Olivia tittered. "Especially if one were to imbibe too heavily and find themselves lost in the maze. I imagine--"
Her sentence was interrupted when the mail slot opened, and a black envelope dropped into the catch basket.
[ To be continued...here. ]
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Criminal Minds s05e10Â âThe Slave of Dutyâ review - or more aptly named, Jack Hotchner is the cutest kid in the world, and baby girl is back. WHOO!
Episode 10 â The Slave of Duty
So Iâm still reeling from last episode, I mean â WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY ARE DOING WITH MY EMOTIONS?
But letâs see what happens.
Oh god. My heart.
Double oh my god.
W.S. Gilbert: âItâs love that makes the world go round.â
I wish.
I canât handle funerals.
I canât handle funerals on TV.
I canât handle pretty people crying.
And I most definitely canât handle grieving children who donât get whatâs going on.
âOh, dry the glistening tear that dews that martial cheek. Thy loving children hear, in them thy comfort seek. With sympathetic care their arms around thee creep, for, oh, they cannot bear to see their father weep.â
Oh god.
âBlow mommy a kiss.â
Are they trying to kill me right now?
Fuck.
âI think you could use some air.â
Definitely.
âThere���s nothing we can do.â
Nope. You have to let him mourn. Fuck.
âHeâll come back. I just donât know what heâs gonna look like when he does.â
True. Because despite his badass façade, heâs an emotional mess.
âI may have the tools to do this job, but I donât know if I have the tools to help my son.â
Oh honey, youâll be amazing.
âThey canât be calling us in, not tonight.â
Oh god.
âWe canât go.â
Nope.
âWe have to.â
Yup.
âTalk to Strauss, tell her to send another team.â
âThereâs no other team available.â
Of course there isnât.
Damn.
âTake care of your son.â
My baby.
Oliver Wendell Holmes: âWhere we love is home â home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.â
So beautiful.
Wait. So they were seen leaving offices on a Friday and never showed up to work and theyâre only being called in on a Thursday? What the fuck is going on?
âSecond body was only found yesterday.â
Damn.
âTwo brunettes with similar features in high-powered professions? Thatâs not a coincidence.â
Nope.
Fuck.
âStart working up a paper trail, Garcia.â
âLike a genie in a bottle â poof!â
Oh honey, I missed you.
âWe have less than a day before this unsub will strike again.â
Letâs hope not.
âThe mayorâs on my ass.â
Are they allowed to say that? LOL
âBetter to stress hypervigilance and shut down his victim pool completely, donât you think?â
My lovely cupcake.
âShe had all the precautions to avoid home invasion, she just didnât use them properly.â
Oh dear.
So he hit them, so they wouldnât escape, made them a dinner, and killed them. Yikes.
Creepy.
Frack. This is so wrong.
âHome is where youâre supposed to feel safe.â
Dang.
Oh my baby is watching home movies of mommy. I love you so much!
âCan I watch one more time? Iâm waiting for mommy.â
Oh god, my heart is breaking here.
âThereâs no hits on the prints at all, but I did what Sir Derek there asked and I created a paper trail.â
Good girl.
âHeâs romancing them where they want it or not.â
Ew.
âCheck, check, and checkers. Back in a smidge.â
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
âHeâs either got a key or he can move through walls.â
Yeesh.
âWeâre gonna have to pick this up again in the morning.â
âWeâre giving up?â
Why so defeatist?
âNo. weâre gonna take a break.â
âWe have to give the profile at morning roll and none of us has slept since the funeral. Once Garcia can get us a paper trail, then we can expand our canvass.â
Smart darling.
God, this unsub makes me squirm.
Ew.
So cute!!!!!
Oh dear lord. Oh my god. This woman doesnât give up, someone needs to kick her out.
Why is she offering him retirement right after the funeral?
FUCK YOU LADY!
Heâs taking time to grieve. Fuck you. Leave him alone.
Iâm sorry, I just really hate Strauss.
Oh this woman is good, she actually went through with everything just so he wonât kill her. Sheâs good.
Oh jeez. A dude walked in. Poor thing.
Clever puppy.
She may not have used her credit cards, but they can use the victimsâ cars to find out where theyâve been and how they met this psycho.
âOh, man, pancakes for dinner. Is there anything better?â
Nope.
Itâs so cute how Haleyâs sister is gearing up to help.
So cute!
âNo one beats Daddy.â XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Iâm so in love with this boy.
âI forgot, what do we do before we eat?â
âWash our hands.â
Such a good boy.
Wait. Sheâs offering to stay with Jack when he has to go? So amazing of her.
âIâm a girl genius, âcause this is what I did. I took the travel logs from the GPS systems, overlaid their routines against the geographical profile to reveal what the paper trail could not.â
Someone kiss this girl on the mouth.
âShe did spend a couple of hours at Cheekwood Botanical Gardens on Tuesday.â
âDid either of the other victims go to the park?â âNo.â
âI donât know if thatâs relevant, then.â
âIt is when her navigation system reads in a straight line. To work, back home, to work, back home. I donât think she ever left her house.â
âWhat was she doing on Tuesday?â
And she is a girl genius.Â
Wait. So heâs willing to step down to give Aaron back his job? You perfect puppy, you.
Iâm really hating Strauss.
I am so sorry guys, I canât even appreciate the loveliness of Derek Morgan as a character, Iâm too focused on those lovely hands of Shemarâs and Iâm so distracted right now.
But what I can appreciate, is Derek changing tactics and calling Rossi in for his opinion, showing him he can do the job as a leader. LOVE YOU!
Wait. So now he thinks that maybe the unsub was born into privilege, but didnât have financial independence to keep up his social status? Thatâs the reason I fell so hard for this man.
âWho else might go unnoticed in a privileged society?â
Um, anyone with a serving job?
âDealerships program your home address to the navigation system before your car even leaves the lot.â
Oh dear. Another reason not to get a car.
âAll right, baby girl, talk to me.â
Weâre back? AWESOME!
âOh, sug, check your email. I hit your inbox sixty seconds ago.â
âThanks, Penelope.â
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Joe Belser.
Fuck you.
âNo such luck, boy wonder.â
Why disappoint my poodle?
Universal garage door opener. Fuck. This show sure does teach hypervigilance.
âGarcia, we need you.â
âWhatcha got?â
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
âWe got him.â
YES.
âFBI!â
YES.
âIs that what you did to them?â
Oh I love emotional Emily.
âScars remind us where weâve been. They donât have to dictate where weâre going.â
Amazing.
So heâs definitely coming back? Good.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: âWhat lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.â
DAMN.
 So, I actually welled up at this one, mainly because Jack Hotchner is the cutest kid on TV right now, and I realize this was back in 2010, but I donât give a fuck. I love this episode, it had the right amount of everything. And Iâm so happy Hotch managed to find a balance in his life and weâre going back to BAU (business as usual ;) ) starting next episode.
See you guys, mwah! <3
#criminal minds reviews#criminal minds#reviews#s05e10#the slave of duty#aaron hotchner#hotch#thomas gibson#derek morgan#shemar moore#jennifer jareau#jj#aj cook#spencer reid#matthew gray gubler#mgg#penelope garcia#kirsten vangsness#emily prentiss#paget brewster#david rossi#joe mantegna#will lamontagne#josh stewart#kevin lynch#nicholas brendon#lynch the bitch#erin strauss#jayne atkinson#jack hotchner
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