#but carmilla feels like shes sort of in this middle space between mattie and laura
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rearranging-deck-chairs ยท 5 months ago
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okay i was curious where that quote that laura reads in s2e12 from carmilla's book was from ("those who prefer their principles over their happiness refuse to be happy outside the conditions they seem to have attached to their happiness") and unsurprisingly it was camus so i downloaded the book it's from and ctrl+f'd through to find the quote and havent found it yet but did find this one:
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#'theres those who are made to love and those who are made to live'#remember what i said abt carmilla maybe enjoying the romances that are doomed frmo the start bc shes (un)dead?#screaaaamingggggg#god i love that they made one of her favourite authors camus i love that they made philosophy an important part of her character i love it#sooo much#cant wait to start on the reading list im compiling#cant find the quote in this. which means either i guessed at the original wrong as i backtranslated#or the internet has misattributed it#i think it's still carnets i think it might just be 2 or 3#bc it seems in english it's notebooks 1935-1951 so they might just put them all together#found it :) it's in 3#'if they find themselves by surprise happy they are lost. unhappy to be deprived of their unhappiness'#carmillaaaa <3333 i love her#i do wonder if this applies to her a little bit too#i know in the scene it's about laura#but carmilla feels like shes sort of in this middle space between mattie and laura#where her disposition is more like laura's but she cant survive like that#she has to give up on trying to hold onto principles bc she literally couldnt have survived if she had#but it's also clear shes much less happy as a vampire#maybe she can like allow herself her little pleasures - be selfish in that way despite the conditions not being right for her happiness#but like clearly shes not Happy right? shes not satisfied shes not content. she kinda hates herself. indulgence is not joy#it's distraction and self-protection what she does i think#carmillaposting
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